#my last post was a joke
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oh this is 10 drunk cigarettes btw. i think it's one of the stupidest songs i've ever listened to. it's so funny
#multi makes text posts#my last post was a joke#but this song is unfortunately a very effective earworm for me#ONE NEW VAPE.. TWO LINES OF COKE.... THREE DRINKS FROM THE BAR... FOUR MORE LINES OF COKE... FIVE GUYS FRIES...#it's STUPID#me: wow money machine is the worst song i've ever heard#girly girl productions: hold my beer
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psa
#jokes about this and then continues to do it#terrible post sorry#tbc this is a joke entirely at my own expense lol i am the LAST person to judge anybody else for this
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ROUND 7: amongst a sea of green, is a glimpse of snow
Bonus: happy end(?)
#tw blood#alnst#alnst till#alnst ivan#alnst luka#ivantill#alien stage#till#ivan#luka#alnst fanart#alien stage fanart#my art#its been 6 months and im not over round 6 sorry#i saw that luka wears white. and r6 ivan wears white. and snow is white#i highly doubt luka will pull a round 5 here but this comic is a what if#also tried to coordinate background colors to cure and blink gone respectively#this lightly references the mizisua snow comic as well!#needed to squeeze some last minute angst in before the disco rave starts#<- update after round 7#BRO#highly doubt luka will pull a round 5 YEAH WELL LUKA PULLED A ROUND 5#THIS IS NOT HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO#I WAS JOKING????#I DIDNT WANT TILL TO DIE#also seeing this post being tagged as alien stage spoilers oh yall are f o u l
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They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.
#ra speaks#personal#JOKING.#this is a joke this is a parody of right wing rants regarding social phenomenon they believe to be oppressed by left leaning politics.#but within the perspective of an old fictional hitman.#this is a joke tangentially referencing my fictional hitmen from a fictional story in which no harm comes to career politicians#obviously but also if this gets me on a list o7#fbi agent in my phone I’m a disabled autistic dyke with zero engineering or chemistry background#my skills are best applied to…idk sabatoging national forest harvest regimes? but I’m not doing that they’re neglected enough as is.#edit: oops this is getting notes o/ hiiiii cia agent reading this post <3 a union leader my dad worked w got fucking assassinated#by Pinkertons and y’all didn’t do shit. I hope you have visions of hell and become a nomadic hermit self flagellating in the woods#edit 2: ooooooh there was a pres debate last night. that’s why people care about my two week old joke hitman post. was wondering why.
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‘why would zuko do that’ he is sixteen years old. ‘i don’t understand zuko’ are you or have you been sixteen years old. ‘zuko just makes bad decisions’ he is sixteen years old. ‘zuko burned down kyoshi island’ he’s literally sixteen years old. ‘zuko kidnapped a twelve year old and dragged him through the snow for hours’ yeah sure but he was sixteen years old. ‘zuko hired an assassin to capture aang, and said assassin went rogue and attempted to kill everyone’ yeah well he’s not good at critical thinking. he’s sixteen years old
#this post is a joke. i love zuko i would hit him with my car and then cradle his head like a dying baby deer#atla#zuko’s literally just a wet cat sorry. he’s not good at making decisions#this is a criticism of the ‘zuko can do no wrong’ ppl but ALSO a criticism of the ‘zuko is inherently bad and can never change’ ppl#two criticisms for the price of one post hehe#avatar the last airbender#prince zuko#zuko#talk tag
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atla renaissance pt 3 calls to me like a siren
#back to my roots#atla#zuko#sokka#toph#avatar the last airbender#avatar#to everyone arguing whether or not it’s accurate to say they do have ODS consider a few things#a) it’s a joke i made while high#b) toph wouldn’t care she would just say shit to piss them off because she’s 12#c) maybe welcome joy into your life. consider taking even a second of a break from whatever compels you to ruin my desire to post#and just chill. because this is and has never been that deep#art#my art#my fan art#fan art#is this the last thing i ever post on tumblr? who knows#im high and its 2am lets get wild
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Harrowhark Nonagesimus has suffered more than Jesus. But maybe not more than her girlfriend, Lesbian Jesus.
#i mean she probably has but the joke is funnier if i phrase it this way#yes these were the tags on my last post#i felt like they deserved their own post#tlt#the locked tomb#nona the ninth spoilers#tlt spoilers#harrow the ninth#kiriona gaia#htn#htn spoilers#harrowhark nonagesimus#griddlehark#gideon nav
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Put [tumblr] (lowercase) in the square brackets [] <- those
oh shit I didn’t know [tumblr] could do that
#I’m gonna assume you thought my last post was me trying to do that but no it was a stupid joke lol#not a stolen gimmick
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jin guangyao text post meme
#i think someone may have already made that last one with jgy but i COULD NOT find it so. if that was yours sry for stealing ur joke#jin guangyao#mdzs#the untamed#xue yang#is there also#i may be delusional but they are toxic codependent coworkers in my heart#text post meme#aphelion.txt#jgy#villainous friends#xy
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POV they just told their da shixiong on you
#pov you’re boutta get your ass beat by a 4 ft of kickass#the image of these two tall muscular demons struggling in battle and turning to the tiniest member in their group for help is so funny to me#swk: I heard you were bullying my brothers >:T#and he’s like half their size glaring up at you#would shit bricks personally#journey to the west#jttw sun wukong#sun wukong#journey to the west fanart#digital art#my art#sorry I haven’t posted anything substantial in a while#it’s my last semester and I’m really tryna stay on top of work so I can finally graduate or2#got this joke out tho lol#can you tell I really love my design of swk#I’m gonna pin that design cuz I want more people to look at it#I’m real proud of it sorry#oh right#zhu bajie#sha wujing#jttw zhu bajie#jttw sha wujing#oughhhh my back hurts… (<= old man)
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one dozen donutzai please
#ok this is my last donut post the joke will get old#the thought has been bouncing in my head for a week ever since i read @azapofinspiration's post about how asagiri probably meant#a donut filled with jelly or cream (mystery flavour) and not a donut with a hole#but then @luneariann posted a bunch of donutzais so i finally cracked#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd dazai#bsd dazai osamu#bsd fanart#nawy's doodles
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Cycle 99.
The sky above is blue, and there’s only one sun... but otherwise, it feels like home.
i don't post much (any?) of my cosplay on here but these photos turned out so well i had to share!! shoutout to my friend mel (@baroqueblood on instagram) for capturing these incredible shots of my lup last month :,) i'm so so proud of this cosplay, i've slowly assembled it one piece at a time over about 2 years and i think this is the best version of it so far!
#cosplay#taz#the adventure zone#thezonecast#taz balance#cosplayer#taz cosplay#lup#lup taz#lup taaco#is that like. actually her last name or did you guys just all decide that as a joke. i don't remember#the adventure zone balance#taz stolen century#stolen century#stolen century my beloved....#idk if this is a controversial opinion but. i think that's my favorite arc#i know they weren't Actually playing d&d in that one but just#THE STORY. THE QUANTUM LEAPING THROUGH THE MULTIVERSE NEVER TO RETURN HOME. THE FOUND FAMILY. LUP!!!#lup theadventurezone you will ALWAYS be famous#my posts#oh also if you actually want to see me cosplay im also wellsbering on instagram lol#i hardly ever post. but I'm There
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sheep jokes
#cotl#cult of the lamb#cotl fanart#cotl narinder#cotl leshy#comics#my art: cotl#my art: shitpost#my art#not to toot my own horn but that last leshy panel is the cutest fucking thing#i am stuffing him in my pocket for later consumption#i forgot to do the text colouring but idc i post rn#also these jokes may appear in my fic teehee
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yea
#i had posted this everywhere and it occurred to me that i hadnt on tumblr. which seems like a crime#keith kogane#vld keith#vld lance#vld fanart#lance mcclain#voltron#klance#can i rant for a bit#grabs the microphone Id like to thank this huge step on my voltron healing journey to my mom#who said 'oh its that show that made you cry in frustration! the kitties!'#and i said 'yes mother i was 15'#i dont think ive ever felt so. like. bullied? i dont wanna say ridiculed but#by a shows' producer#not since fucking BBC SHERLOCK#and i dont mean oh of course it wasnt gonna be canon. Of cours it wasnt I dont mean that#what i didnt need was getting baited left and right#the show milked the shit out of. lets be real here. young queer kids and then turned around and pointed and laughed when they gained hope on#their silly red blue ship to get canon#bc lets be real if anything queer was gonna happen. ambiguous non binary pidge was already there#two skinny attractive teen boys is like low hanging fruit. diet rep#but it wasnt even abt that. at least i truly never thought klance was srly gonna b canon. i HOPED. but like. i never shipped 4 canon anyway#i LIKED voltron. i loved lotor. i had always been a multishipper allur//ce was rkly cute i couldve dug that#if they hadnt spent the last season looking miserable AND THEN DYING#tf u mean our female lead died TF U MEAN THE LATINO MC BECAME A FARMER? w the forever marks of his dead gf on his face? Are you joking rn???#anyway. hit me up for more voltron opinions i got tons#(mic drop)
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Fort, straight up interrupting Peat mid-reply goes:
Um...
Yeah...
I think we know, Fort. xD
#bless @laurenkmyers for her wonderful work capturing these amazing moments#but also i saw this interview and it hasn't left my brain since xD#“i like his legs��� fort says as if he hasn't spent substantial time and effort professionally worshiping peat's legs#fortpeat#fort thitipong#peat wasuthorn#prapaisky#mutrak#tongrak x mahasamut#love sea#love in the air#prapai and mahasamut commiserating on their boyfriends sexy sexy thighs#krissy's made the joke that fort has it in his contract that he gets at least one (1) scene where he worships peat's thighs#and so far across two series there's zero evidence to contradict that just saying#i'm suffering and making it every one else's problem you're welcome#(it took me a solid hour to find that last gif is there a better way to search for gifs on tumblr???)#<my posts>
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RIP to cohost, but more importantly, RIP to the best post on cohost:
#speed racer#speed racer (2008)#my beloved#I couldn't find OP on tumblr#but OP if you're out there please let me know#and I'll credit you for this#because this post. oh. I treasure it#it's so good#also for anyone out of the loop#cohost is an unfortunately short-lived social media site that is closing at the end of this year (2024)#RIP. it was fun while it lasted#and also Speed Racer is one of the best films ever made and I'm not joking
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