#my eating is disciplined the amount i read is disciplined my listening habits are disciplined
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i'm trying to save £5000 this year so I can move into my own house by next summer, but the second i realise i'm not as broke as i thought I was for a month i'm on ebay looking at mid century modern furniture.... girl you're going to be living with your parents forever !!!!!!!
#I've really disciplined myself these last few months -#my eating is disciplined the amount i read is disciplined my listening habits are disciplined#but oh my god i physically cannot be disciplined with money#having a professional salary for the first time in my life is making me insane#but i've been in this job for nearly a year now so i'm really hoping i've nearly gotten the impulsive spending out of my system#because i want my own house so badly#my bf is moving into a beautiful new apartment so that's good motivation for me to get my shit together#becauee i want him to be able to come and visit me in my beautiful own house......
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hi!! this is my first time ever asking. may I request sleeping with their s/o (/nsx) hcs for Riddle, Idia and Azul? how cuddly they are, if they snore, that thing!! sorry if this is strange, it really is a first for me!! -🐙
the warmth of your arms
Characters: Riddle, Idia, Azul
Synopsis: How are they like when they sleep?
Tags: fluff, cuddling, sleeping habits, bot proofread
Word count: 656
Notes: Thank you for your ask! Don't worry, it's not strange at all, I was squealing in delight imagining the scenarios haha.
Masterlist
Riddle has a very structured and disciplined sleeping routine
insists on going to bed and waking up at a specific hour to get the recommended amount of sleep
has a set of pre-sleep rituals, like reading a book or doing some stretches to help him relax
strict rules about sleeping hygiene!!
no eating or drinking too close to bedtime
makes sure that the room is quiet and dark to promote good sleep
i also feel like he was trained to be so perfect as a child, his mom wouldn't have let him snore or have any bad habits, so definitely is a quiet sleeper
but he’s still very affectionate
loves wrapping his arms around them and pulling you close
spooning or simply holding hands
whispers gentle words of affection
likes placing soft kisses on your forehead, cheek, or lips
makes sure you’re comfortable and have everything you need for a good night's sleep
all in all, very soft and cuddly, but also does not want to disturb you
Riddle let out a contented sigh as he snuggles closer to you. "I can't remember the last time I felt this relaxed," he murmurs.
sleep? pshhh who needs sleep? sleep is for the weak
Idia stays up late into the night and likes sleeping during the day to avoid any social interaction
also snores a bit because he’s heavily sleep deprived
have you seen his eyebags???
but things are different with you
once he’s grown comfortable with your touch, you sleeping with him fixes his sleep schedule
he used to be haunted by his nightmares reminding him of his past mistakes
but with you no longer has trouble falling asleep or staying asleep throughout the night, he sleeps more soundly with you
he goes to bed earlier, loves snuggling up next to you and feeling your body next to him, resting his head on your shoulder, or intertwining limbs
spooningg, nuzzles his face in your neck/head
idly traces patterns on your back, and gently touching your face to reassure himself that you’re really there
he actively listens to you whenever you talk, hearing your voice is calming for him
also will appreciate and respect any of your personal boundaries in bed, incredibly mindful of your comfort levels
in conclusion, soft touch-starved boi who loves physical intimacy
Idia wraps his arms around you tightly and whispers, "I'm glad I have you in my life," he smiles, the soft tickle of his breath on your forehead. "You're my Player 2, you know."
as a mermaid, Azul does not require as much sleep as a human does
instead he sees sleeping as a great opportunity to spend quality time with you
before you, his sleep schedule is incredibly
always stays up late working on deals, studying magic, or pursuing his own interests, leading to inconsistent sleep patterns and occasional all-nighters
sleep was a means to recharge to maintain his physical and mental well-being
he used to snore but when he lost weight, he stopped, so now he associates snoring with his old self and is embarrassed by the thought of it
when he’s with you he makes sure he is present and attentive in his relationship
aligns his sleep schedule with yours
enjoys cuddling with you and typically falls asleep holding you close, his arms wrapped protectively around you, vaguely reminiscent of his octopus limbs
sometimes he talks in his sleep, murmuring words of love and adoration
your man is rich, and he gets super soft bedding, plush pillows, and other extravagant sleep accessories to indulge your comfort
soft heart to heart pillow talks or gentle physical touches
he appreciates you a lot, and it shows in his comfort
Azul's gaze softened as he looked into your eyes, his hand entwined with yours. "Oh, my dear angelfish, what did I ever do to deserve you? Thank you for always being there for me," he whispers, before leaning in to kiss you.
Masterlist
if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!
#twstnexus#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#disney twisted wonderland#twst imagines#twst wonderland#riddle rosehearts#riddle rosehearts x reader#riddle x reader#azul ashengrotto#azul ashengrotto x reader#azul x reader#idia shroud#idia shroud x reader#idia x reader
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Daily Check in - October 18th, 2023 🎀
Hello my lovelies <3
Here's a little update for today!! It feels nice to be posting again!
🩷 What I Ate Today -
Breakfast - southern style hashbrowns with ketchup, a cup of coffee
Pre Workout snack - one medium banana and a 3/4oz single serve cup of jiffy peanut butter, 1/4 scoop of preworkout (in water ofc)
Lunch - 1 large bowl of protein pasta w 2 slices of buttered bread, a coffee
Dinner - 1 bowl of spicy ramen with a small handful on shredded cheese
Snack - 1 bowl of mint chip ice cream
Extra - 3 cups of coffee TOTAL
Feels like a lot and I did go over my eating goal for the day but it is what it is, I had an emotionally rough day filled with a lot of crying, a therapy appointment, and a lot of calming down from my boyfriend over video call. Rough days happen, and I tend to let myself just feel the emotions in order to sleep easy and have a better next day!
🩷 Personal Accomplishments -
Made it to the gym, attempted a glute workout (left early due to frustration, lack of proerpr form, and to minimize risk of injury)
Wrote down everything I ate and my workouts in my new fitness and health journal
Showered
Did both morning and night skincare routines
journaled a little bit
brushed teeth
did a large load of laundry and put away all clean clothes
washed dishes
had a therapy appointment
cleaned up parts of room, put away new stuff
There were no academic accomplishments bit I am going to complete a good amount of homework before my cooking shift (for my cooking class) tomorrow. I've been trying to take it easy in a way that doesn't set me behind in my academics.
I broke down crying today with my boyfriend. I realized I've been feeling like such an imposter lately. Like I don't deserve all the good and all the accomplishments I've achieved. Like this life I'm living isn't real or this is the calm before some storm. I just feel so undeserving of everything. I feel inadequate, like I'm not good enough for a lot of thing. I feel like I'm perceived as this good daughter, good friend, good girlfriend, good employee, good student, good person but that it's not actually true? Though my boyfriend and my father have both reassured me that it is true and I am doing good. They've reminded me that I just need patience, discipline, and consistency in my habits and that everything is going to be and already is okay. I'm lucky to have such a loving boyfriend and such an awesome dad, too. The men in my life are the people I look up to most <3
🩷 Personal ToDos, Oct 19th -
morning + night skincare
morning cardio workout at the gym
read a chapter or two of a self help book
shower + brush teeth AM/PM
wash comforter + air dry
morning and night guided journal
morning stretching
Daily journal prompt
zoom call with boyfriend
sleep 6 to 8 hours
track all food and fitness in journal
complete 1 duolingo lesson
complete 1 busuu leson
complete 1 kanji review lesson
🩷 Academic ToDos, Oct 19th -
pre lab 8 quiz anatomy lab
lab 7 lab report anatomy lab
component 2 psyc class
nutrition chart: toddler nutrition class
quiz 10 psyc class
culinary nutrition ch 10 quiz
chapter 12 and 13 quiz nutrition class
My goal is to complete all of that between the time I wake up at 5am and 2pm with my morning routine, workout, meals, and getting ready for my cooking thing all in between. But I can do it, I'm not worried. I'll have the time to do it all! I just need to manage my time and not be on my phone as much.
I'm trying to get back into listening to podcasts and watching more producitve and healthy vlogs from youtubers I enjoy! I'm currently watching vlogs and content from Rebecca Jay, Michaela Bento, The Bliss Bean, LenaLifts, truly.jia, Study to Success, Lindie Botes (her earlier language videos), and Mikalya Mags. My favorite podcast is The 5AM Miracle: Healthy Productivity for High Acheivers by Jeff Sanders.
If you have any health, lifestyle, fitness, or productivity youtubers or podcast recommendations please comment them or inbox me so I can check them out!! I am always looking for new content to enjoy!!!
til next time lovelies 🩷
#pink pilates girl#pink pilates princess#self care#self development#self love#wonyoungism#health & fitness#it girl#mental health#physical health#that girl energy#that girl#it girl energy#clean girl#coquettecore#coquette girl#high value woman#green juice girl#pink academia#pink aesthetic#pink blog#college studyblr#studyblr#japanese langblr#langblr#health and fitness#university student#girlblog#girl blogger#girl blogging
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Beloved has died from illness. It’s the night before the funeral, Terry is going through some of beloved’s things and finds a note that he’s never seen that was dated a day before they got married- a goal sheet. It says: “Goal One: Marry Terry Silver. Goal 2: Go to Paris for Honeymoon. Goal Three: Have a baby named Terrence John Junior. Goal 4: Have my children know karate. Goal 5: Be the best mother and wife I can. Goal 6: Show this to Terry and then tell him how much I love him” 🥺
😟
He'd in a sense, turn into beloved, the same way he turned into Ponytail, or rather, morphed himself into him to cope with survivor's guilt and split personalities due to trauma and grief. He seamlessly incorporates bits of beloved's remaining accessorises into his wardrobe. He keeps their clothes and things safely like a hallowed shrine. He picks up their habits. He learns their native language and speaks it, in case beloved's foreign. He develops an obsession with whatever piece of locale they mentioned in their to-do list. Furthermore, an obsession with their home-country or State because it is theirs, or rather, Terry's. Not to mention the amount of possessiveness he'll have toward's beloved's remaining family, if any. An obsession towards the concept of an heir that was never born. He eats the things beloved ate. Listens to the music beloved listened to. Reads the same literature. If he could breathe the same, he would. When all alone, he talks to himself mimicking beloved's tone to self-soothe. Uses their ticks and mannerisms. Adopts their idioms. Hones their hobbies, whatever they have been. He forces his own internal monologue to be thought out in beloved's own voice. Bleeds them back into life until it is as if though they never died. As if though they're still alive. They still are through him. Terry mourns the dead distinctively. With devotion. By becoming their walking graveyard plaque and disciplining and controlling himself into taking on yet another deceased someone who left an impact on him. Nobody understands why Terry demonstrates unusual quirks, and it is because of beloved --- because they used to be beloved's quirks and now they're Terry's. Because he feels closer to them that way. Because he's gone entirely insane after reading that letter.
#aw man this just made me feel so sad#😟#terry silver#terry silver imagine#terry silver imagines#kk3#cobra kai#yandere#tw; tragedy#tw; death#terry silver x reader#terry silver x beloved#tw; identity theft
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september 02, 2020.
Hey y’all! Here are some journal excerpts from the past few weeks. Also, I recently went on a spiritual fast intended to last for over a month where I relinquished habits that I usually do like listening to music, watching movies, talking to friends, being on social media, reading fiction books, and just doing anything on my phone. I actually turned off my phone, stored it away for two weeks, and didn’t use it at all until just yesterday. And yes, that meant I didn’t talk to Italian boy for two weeks, oop. The things that I did do were spend time with my family, eat limited amounts of food & stayed hydrated, read the Bible, journal almost everyday, & read books about spirituality. Before embarking on it, I felt so lost and drained and I just felt this calling to take a break―to pause―and there were so many signs pointing me to that path. I initially asked God one question before the journey started and after that, I let Him take me to wherever I could find that answer and, wow, let me tell y’all, the results were astonishing.
I didn’t end up doing it for the whole time bcs I’d already found my answer fairly quickly and I also got a bit sick in the middle of it. Long story short, I was taken to the right path and found myself in the Buddha’s teachings, have gotten through so much of the Bible (I’ve never thoroughly read it before and it’s so fascinating omg I love learning how things came to be), have read so many books about being in the present, Buddhism, spirituality, meditation, and so on, got to spend more time with my family & learned not to depend on my phone (when we went to the beach or out in nature, I had nothing to take pictures so I cherished everything), I wrote consistently in my journal and, most of all, I learned the value of living in the present & the beauty of solitude. After it ended, I found that my head was clearer and so many fresh ideas about things I wanted to do with my life poured out of my mind. It was definitely difficult, but amidst it all, I learned to have faith, to trust in the process, and to have self-discipline. I also had lots of time to self-reflect! Overall, I had a really incredible experience and wanted to share it with all you beautiful beings. I hope to do it again in the future with a different question!
I hope all of y’all are adjusting well to September and looking forward to autumn! Remember to take some time to pause and live in the moment! 🤍✨
🎧: ilysb - lany
#studyblr#bujo#journaling#aesthetic#studyspo#serendistudy#athenastudying#elleandhermione#problematicprocrastinator#heyharri#diaryofastemstudent#gloomstudy#studyvan#heycoral#heylihi#stillstudies#hermionesplants#sonderstudy#heyfox#lattestudies#heynesi#heypat#headgirlstudy#myhoneststudyblr#philologystudies#stuhde#heymarvell#bentostudy#heyreva#mine
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Win the morning. Win the day.
Step 1 – Hydrate
The first thing you need to do upon waking is chug some H2O. The average male body is made up of 60% water and you have just spent a number of hours without it. Even slight dehydration can suppress your testosterone and growth hormone production. But getting hydrated is only half the battle. You also have to make sure that you’re not drinking estrogenic water.
Water is one of nature’s best solvents, i.e. the solids it comes into contact with eventually dissolve into it. This can be dangerous given the fact that a large portion of us drink water from plastic bottles. A lot has been said about plastics here at ROK, and for good reason – plastics are a silent killer of masculinity. They contain chemicals like BPA and phthalates, both of which exert potent estrogenic effects on the male body. Avoid drinking water from plastic bottles.
Ideally, you have access to spring water that is pure of chlorine, heavy metals, and contaminants. Findapsring can help you discover a spring near you. The next best option is to opt for a Pur filter to attach to your faucet or a Brita pitcher you can fill up and stick in the fridge. Either way, start your mornings with at least 12 ounces of pure, filtered water.
Step 2 – Make Your Bed
After getting hydrated and using the toilet, go ahead and make your bed.
Admiral McRaven, retired Navy Seal and author of Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life, said it best:
Making your bed will reinforce the fact that the little things in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you’ll never be able to do the big things right. And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made – that you made. And a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better.
Unfortunately, I was unable to find any evidence to support the fact that making your bed boosts testosterone, but do it anyway. It will continue to build on the positive momentum you have moving forward.
Step 3 – Get Lit
Next up, get outside and soak some sun. Your skin synthesizes vitamin D upon exposure to sunlight and vitamin D is crucial for testosterone production. If you’re currently deficient in vitamin D – and chances are, you are – then topping up your levels is perhaps the simplest way to boost your testosterone.
“But Mo, I live in Alaska and the sun barely comes out. Does this mean I’m doomed to a life of low testosterone?”
Worry not my friend. If you live in a part of the world that doesn’t get much sun (or you’re just too lazy to go outside), opt for a daily dose of 2000-5000IU of vitamin D3 to help optimize your levels.
Step 4 – Breathe Deeply
Whether it’s work, family, or financial pressures all of us have something that we’re stressed about. The problem, though, lies not in the stress itself but in our inability to deal with it effectively. This leads to the stress becoming chronic. Chronic stress is a testosterone killer, but deep diaphragmatic breathing is a proven way to conquer it.
Diaphragmatic breathing is a central tenet of the Wim Hof Method. Wim Hof is a modern day alpha superhuman known for setting a number of extreme sports world records and climbing Mount Everest during a blizzard in nothing but his shorts. What’s more is that he has taught groups of men to achieve similar feats. I bought and completed Wim Hof’s 10-week program a while back, but diaphragmatic breathing is a practice that I’ve carried on with till today.
Here’s how to get started:
Inhale through your mouth and/or nose deep into your diaphragm and exhale without any effort. Maintain a consistent rhythm for about 30 breaths. You should begin to feel a slight lightheadedness and tingling sensations in your extremities. This is a sign that your blood is becoming hyper-oxygenated. At this point, take one last deep breath, exhale, and hold for as long as you can. When you feel the urge to breathe again, take a deep breath in, hold for 20-30 seconds, and let go. That is one full cycle of what’s come to be known as the Wim Hof Method.
I do three cycles of this every single morning. I also make it a point to track my breath retention progress. When I started, I could only hold my breath for 45 seconds. Today, I can hold it for over 3 minutes.
Step 5 – Hop Into a Cold Shower
The direct link between cold showers and higher testosterone levels is not conclusive, but there is some evidence to suggest that the testes perform better in cold temperatures. Also, cold showers are a proven way to combat inflammation.
But the biggest reason to start taking cold showers everyday is to exercise your willpower. I’ve been taking cold showers for about 3 years now and I still find myself resisting them. But after the shower is over, I always feel a sense of pride and accomplishment in overcoming that little voice in my head that didn’t want to do it.
As Aubrey Marcus writes in Own the Day, Own Your Life:
In the smithy of life, cold exposure is the anvil against which your character is shaped and your resolve is hardened, so that you might confront your chronic stress and conquer it more completely.
Step 6 – Skip Breakfast
If you believe that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you’re still plugged into the bluepill world of mainstream consciousness.
Skipping breakfast is a proven way to boost testosterone, skyrocket growth hormone, ward of oxidative stress, regulate insulin, and increase cellular repair. You can read about the science behind all these benefits here.
Simply push your first meal back 4-6 hours after waking. If you get hungry in between, drink some black coffee to suppress your appetite. The second option is to go for the 16/8 method of intermittent fasting whereby you choose an 8-hour window within which to fit all your meals, e.g between 12pm – 8pm, 10am-6pm, etc.
Conclusion
Starting your day with these six steps will not only boost your testosterone levels, but will also help transform you into a more grounded and powerful version of yourself.
https://www.returnofkings.com/195107/develop-your-discipline-with-this-simple-habit
If you’re like most men, there’s a gap between your intentions and your actions. You know what you need to do to get what you want, but have difficulty in following through. Want to get better with women? Interact with more women. Want to get in shape? Eat less, move more. Want to make more money? Leverage your time and focus on income producing activities. Sounds pretty simple when I put it like that, but simple does not mean easy.
Not too long ago, I found it difficult to crawl out of bed in the morning. I was always tired and barely had the energy to stay awake, let alone go to the gym, cold approach women, and build a business. I was caught in a downward spiral, breaking out of which required a tremendous amount of will. Thankfully, I realized that the root cause of my problems could be narrowed down to the simple fact that I lacked discipline. Now, I’ve come to believe that self-discipline is the missing link between everything you are and everything you’re capable of being. I believe that self-discipline is the only difference between success and failure in every aspect of life.
In this article, I’ll discuss the #1 way I’ve found to develop my self-discipline and skyrocket my energy, mood, and focus in the process.
Cold Showers: The Secret to Sending Your Discipline Through The Roof
Picture this: You finally realize the power of rising early and set an alarm for 5:00am the next day. The next morning, you groggily wake up to the sound of your alarm buzzing and a part of you tries to convince you to hit the snooze. The decision you make in that moment – whether to get out of bed or to hit the snooze – is the decision that makes all the difference.
Self-discipline is the ability to do what needs to be done regardless of whether you feel like it or not. Getting out of bed at 5am, even though you don’t feel like it, sets the momentum towards taking right action despite what your emotions tell you. It’s the same with taking a cold shower. When you enter your shower and think about turning the knob to “C,” you will hear the same voice trying to talk you out of it. But when you turn the knob anyway, you have effectively overcome that lower part of yourself and are letting your mind know who’s in charge. Then, later on in the day, when that voice tries to talk you into skipping a workout or reaching for those cookies, you are less likely to listen.
Having taken cold showers relatively consistently over the past couple of years, I know for sure that the days I start with a cold shower are always more productive than the days that I don’t. True freedom is impossible without a mind made free through discipline, and starting my day with a cold shower is the best way I’ve found to practice my willpower, develop my discipline, and learn to associate pleasure with doing the hard things in life.
Can Taking a Cold Shower Boost Your Testosterone?
As a reader of RoK and the manosphere, you’ve probably heard about cold showers in the context of boosting testosterone. Having researched this topic in-depth (check out my ultimate guide here), I’ll be the first to tell you that there is no definitive evidence to back this claim up.
Does this mean that cold showers don’t boost testosterone?
No. What it means is that there are currently no studies that have observed the phenomenon. Understand that the majority of scientific research is driven by economics. Since cold water is cheap and nobody owns the rights to it, there is no financial incentive to drive the research. This is where anecdotal evidence (personal accounts) becomes important – and there is no shortage of that. A simple Google search for “cold shower benefits” will reveal countless testimonials from men who’ve experienced profound transformation by implementing cold showers as a regular part of their life.
Although the direct link between cold showers and testosterone has not been studied, there are a bunch of mechanisms through which cold exposure can indirectly affect your T.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sNpMed1RmE
The Scientifically Proven Benefits of Cold Showers
Anyone who’s taken a cold shower before can attest to the increased levels of energy and focus they feel afterwards. The reason? It all comes down to a hormone called norepinephrine.
Cold water exposure stimulates the fight-or-flight response in your sympathetic nervous system and causes a massive release of norepinephrine. In this study, 1-hour of cold water exposure at a temperature of 57°F (14°C) caused a 530% increase of norepinephrine and a 250% increase of dopamine – both of which go hand-in-hand to cause a massive lift in energy, focus, and mood. On the flip side, low levels of norepinephrine and dopamine correlate with diminished focus, drive, and depression. In fact, part of how antidepressants work is by increasing the uptake of norepinephrine and dopamine in your brain. The positive effect of cold exposure on mood is so profound that researchers have begun studying it as a possible measure against depression.
Furthermore, cold water exposure has also been shown to boost immune function, increase fat-loss, and even speed up muscle recovery.
Conclusion
All in all, starting your day with a cold shower is a quick and easy way to boost your immune system, speed up your fat-loss, increase your energy levels, and massively develop your self-discipline in the process.
Download my FREE 5-Step Testosterone Optimization Blueprint and move towards a life of more energy, health, and vitality.
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891
Could you live without power for a week? I wouldn’t die, but it would really suck because then I’d have to watch out for my phone’s and laptop’s battery life, plus it would be incredibly uncomfortable without electric fans and aircons...I wouldn’t die, but I’d hate it. When was the last time you slept on the floor? The day before I got sick. End of May. Have you regretted anything you said today? No. I haven’t talked to anyone; it’s only 7:59 in the morning. What do you think about airport security? I think it’s essential. I understand why they have to be rigid; better that than not at all. How many doors are in your house? I just answered this on a recent survey, how interesting lol. 13.
Do you keep a journal? This is it. What was the last thing you wished for? A tray of baked sushi. Do you pray? No. Do you like it when your date pays, or do you feel bad? I feel bad, but I’m also appreciative. I only let her pay when I’m short, or when I’m craving a certain restaurant but don’t have the budget for it that day. Most of the time we prefer splitting the bill. Do you spoil your friends? Just my girlfriend. Are cramped places scary? Not for the most part but my anxiety will sometimes get triggered. But what happens and what sucks about it is that it gets set off at the most random times, so I never really know when I’m bound to get scared. Would you ever consider riding in a trunk? If it was a dare and I’d be paid handsomely for it then I don’t see why not. Does it irritate you when a fellow passenger brings lots of luggage? No. Their business shouldn’t bother me. Ever been leeched by a leech? Nope. Have you ever lied to make someone dislike you? Why would I actively make someone dislike me? Ever had a fear of mirrors? No, I find them fascinating. All four walls in the elevators of the hotel that my mom works in are mirrors, and they’re fun to take photos with haha. What song can you not stop listening to? Right now it’ssssss no song without you - HONNE. Do you take vitamins? Yeah we take vitamin C tablets every night, but sometimes I’ll forget. What's the longest you've stayed at a hotel? A week. Do you buy your music or download? I stream them on Spotify. I used to either buy CDs (usually if I was a big fan of the artist/band) or convert YouTube audio to MP4 to transfer it to my iTunes. Do any of your friends grow weed? No. Not that I know of, at least. Do you like arguing? I don’t like fighting, but if by arguing you mean having a respectful and civil debate then yes, those are fun. Does it bother you when people don't say goodbye before hanging up? It doesn’t really bother me? It just confuses me haha. I need a verbal cue to know when I can hang up. If the person on the line doesn’t say bye I’ll just linger on the phone waiting until it starts to feel awkward and I go initiate the bye instead. Have you ever owned an unlucky object? I don’t believe in those. Do you think voodoo works? No but it’s funny to think about sometimes, in a childish way. What habit do you find most disgusting? I really hate seeing people spit in public. Usually it’s truck drivers or their co-drivers. I always encounter at least one spitter while driving everyday, and it has never failed to make me shudder. Do you often feel ignored? It’s not a strong feeling, no. Can you read music? This is on every survey lately... no I can’t.
Are you optimistic? Sometimes. I think I’m a healthy balance of that and pessimism. Does it scare you to walk over sewer vents in the street? Yes. I always avoid them or skip over them, especially the ones that are already obviously unstable and wobble when someone steps on them. Is your lifestyle healthy or unhealthy? Unhealthy. I don’t watch what I eat and I’ve never entered a gym. But idk, the genes on my mom’s side are impressive and all of us have decent physiques and never get sick – my grandma is 74 but can honestly pass for 50 – so I must’ve taken after that side of the family. Is it easy for you to remember stuff? Yeah, very. Except for numbers. Last electronic object you drowned? That has never happened to any of my gadgets, fortunately. How well do you handle responsibility? Depends how comfortable I am with the task at hand and how much I already have on my plate, if ever. But I never not get anything done. I’m very deadline-driven and everyone who knows me knows I turn in everything asked of me at the end of the day, even if I don’t think I did well enough. Are you afraid of getting old? Sometimes I’ll start to get scared at how short life actually is and what can possibly happen after it, but these are fleeting thoughts. I like living in the present. What's something you wish you could start over? College. Just so I can do my freshman year the way I actually wanted it to go. Are you a loud person? In certain situations. I love being loud with my friends in a bar or when we’re at an amusement park, but I prefer that we don’t make a ruckus at the mall or at a restaurant. Do you believe in guns? No. I honestly don’t understand those who buy it for themselves when they can get other weapons if they’re really hell-bent on self-defense. But idk, I guess I’m speaking from a place (like, a literal place lol) where it’s extremely uncommon for ordinary people to get themselves guns. Are porcelain dolls attractive, or scary? Neither. I just find them a little unsettling, but not scary. Are you friends with someone because you feel bad for them? Not currently. But one time I did try to befriend someone who would be considered a loner, but I realized we had different personalities and interests so I stopped talking to her after a while. Oops. Do you like back rubs? No, I’m ticklish. Do you give good ones? No.
Which of your friends provides the most stimulating conversations? All of them do, to tell the truth. I guess I’m just automatically drawn to intelligent people haha. Do you wish to go to London? It’s not high up on my list but eh, sure. Have you ever felt like you were in a movie? No. I feel that movies are outlets for situations that would never happen in real life, so I’ve never felt as if I was in one. Do you drink enough water daily? I don’t drink the ~recommended~ amount but I still the drink the most in my family. Is burning things fun? I’d rather watch other people burn things. I’m scared of fire, so.
Do you like morbid things? Some. Can you sew? Nope. Have you ever just sat and read a dictionary? Oh my god yeah... after I watched Akeelah and the Bee for the first time I wanted to start joining spelling bees too, so I’d whip out my dictionary almost everyday and start reading the words. There were never any competitions to join here, but from 4th to 7th grade we would have spelling quizzes in our English language class and I aced all of those. Whose cooking do you most despise? No one’s. I love the cooking of all my loved ones. When you were little, did your parents make you sit in the corner? No but in school they made me do it once, for something that wasn’t my fault. My parents didn’t have any methods to discipline me because I was mostly a well-behaved kid anyway. Red roses, or black roses? Red. Do you blast your music concert-loud? I used to. Don’t really do it anymore. Do any of your exes bother you? Nope. Do you like taking pictures of yourself? Hell no. The camera has never been my friend. How about just taking pictures? I like taking photos of my dogs, my best friends, the food I eat, and new places I go to. So to an extent, I do. I don’t dabble in photography though; I just like taking snapshots.
Is cheaper really better? Sometimes, especially when you’re naturally good at hunting down that kind of stuff. My sister will sometimes find Zara jeans or jackets for like ₱80 at an ukay-ukay lol Last thing you ordered from Amazon? I’ve never ordered anything off of Amazon. Or do you prefer ebay? Never ordered from eBay either. Are you good at writing cards for people? I love writing letters for my loved ones. I never buy cards that already have text in them as I want the whole thing to come from me. Do you like camping? I’ve never tried it so I wouldn’t know. I want to go camping at least once though, and with my best friends. Last place you were stranded? The highway. Do you like dragonflies? Omg no they freak me outtt. How many pages is the novel you're currently reading? I’ve started to reread Little Women because I’m planning to watch the 2019 adaptation, but I’m not sure how many pages it has. What's something everybody's never heard of? The sound of a tree falling in the middle of the jungle that no person is currently in. Hahaha that was my philosophy professor’s favorite example to use. Are your talents recognized? I think they are, yes. Can you handle silence for long periods of time? Only if I need it. Otherwise it tends to make me uneasy. Do you do well against temptation? For the most part, yep. But if food is involved I usually fail lol
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all is right before the storm, part two. | bucky barnes x reader
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part title: two ; a dinner and a drink
pairing: 1940s!bucky barnes x reader
word count: 4K
warnings: they drink a lil alcohol, although no one gets drunk, little bit of language, mentions of super minor character death offscreen
notes: thank you, everyone, who read part one. this means a lot to me, so thank you! i tried to bring in some personal memories from having a large family, but also had to make up a family for bucky since his pre-steve life is pretty unknown in the mcu.
taglist: @20coldhearts (ask to be added!)
summary: bucky is pleasantly surprised by your family’s comforting yet unique aura during dinner, and afterward the two of you talk family and war over some drinks.
+ + +
The rain droned on softly throughout the afternoon. Although it was harder to hear downstairs, far from the roof and surrounded by the buzz and chatter of your family, it became white noise in your childhood room.
Staying once more in your old room brought with it a strange mixture of comfort and unfamiliarity. You hadn’t lived in it in close to three years, yet it was as if you came home to it every day as you had done for a large amount of your life. You knew where everyone was since it was as you had left it. The lamp on your bedside table was like habit to turn it on, and you remember where you kept your old hairbrush like you had put it away twenty-minutes earlier. The mind and memory are fantastical things, you thought to yourself. They tend to remember the littlest of things that seemingly won’t matter in the long run.
Whatever the reason, you were glad you wouldn’t have to spend twenty minutes searching for an object you would utilize for twenty seconds. With you hairbrush in your grip, you made your way over to a mirror that you had spent many hours in front of, using it to fix your hair and perfect it. Once you had finished the little correcting you felt necessary, you found it nice to just sit there, listening to the rain and clearing your head before rejoining your family. You loved them to death, of course, but they were often crazy.
You were called down by your mother’s voice, informing you of the doorbell. Time had passed quicker than you had expected, and you knew it must have been Bucky already.
You rushed down the stairs, politely pushing past Helen, Jean, and Marjorie who had been standing and talking at the bottom of the stairs. You quickly opened the door to be met with Bucky huddled under the coverage your larger porch offered, the sound of the rain growing louder behind him.
“You’re here!” You exclaimed, hoping for a moment that you didn’t sound too happy. “Did you forget your mom?”
“No, my sister Rebecca arrived early and offered to look after her.” Bucky gave you a half-smile and gestured in the direction of his mother’s house.
“Well, she can come over too!” You smiled, peeking behind him a little as if you would see her. Quickly you reposition yourself and apologize, “Not that your company isn’t enough. We…” You noticed your own fast speed in talking and paused to slow down. “We’re so happy to have you.”
Bucky grinned, outstretching a hand that you noticed was full of flowers. “Here, these are for you.”
Your smile became more soft and real. “Oh, thank you! You didn’t need to do that.” “My ma taught me to never come empty-handed.” He pushed them a little closer to you until you took them in your own hands.
“Thank you.” For a moment, you forget what came next, too flustered by the appearance of Bucky Barnes with flowers. “Here, you can come in. We haven’t started yet.” Bucky walked in, politely closing the door behind him and pushing his shoes off and placing them on the mat near the door. “I’m going to put these in a vase and we can all get to eating.” You hurried to the back of the kitchen, Bucky waiting patiently as he watched you fill up a tall and skinny vase with water and place the flowers inside. He hoped you couldn’t tell that they were just cut from his backyard and nothing special. His mother had, of course, told him to never show up empty-handed, but the lesson that resounded on his mind was that most women liked flowers.
You walked past him in a hurry, placing the vase on a small table in the kitchen and moving past him to enter the dining area. “Y/L/Ns! Food is getting cold.” You took your seat, and Bucky found his way next to you. Like a flood breaking a dam, your sisters and brothers entered, taking their seats and saving the heads of the table for your father and Jack since it was his meal.
Your mother and father entered last, and your oldest brother George jokingly announced them as if it was a fancy event. You looked from person to person, each one making eye contact with you and then moving onto another sibling as a child excited for Christmas might do. You were excited after all. It had felt like ages since everyone was together for a big meal like this, especially now that big meals were becoming more difficult to come by with rationing and lack of hearty foods in general.
“Everybody here?” Your father looked from face to face as if expecting any absent person to tell him they weren’t there. “No? Well, dig in!” The clinking of food began almost instantly, and chatter followed, giggling arising from the younger girls.
“We don’t really pray,” You made an apology in Bucky’s direction, grabbing a roll from the basket being passed around the table.
He took them once you were finished. “Nah, it’s fine. I can’t say I do, either.”
A smile of relief found its way onto your face. “Oh, well it works out then!”
“I’d say so.” Bucky returned the smile. Your eyes flashed across his face, and the way his glimmering eyes and crooked smile seemed to make him fit in even more. You could feel your face fluster red, and you turned to the table as you examined the platter laid before you. There were meats and salads, green beans and chopped potatoes. To the far end of either table there lay a basket of rolls, waiting to be passed around with a plate of butter that accompanied them. Sweet potatoes sat in the middle next to a large bowl of your mother’s famous stuffing, and you reached first for that.
“So Bucky,” Ruth’s voice rose from across the table over the clattering and clinking of silverware against plates, and you blushed the moment she spoke. She hadn’t said anything and you knew it was on the way to embarrass you. Ruth had been that sort of person since you could remember, making sure to say the things that didn’t necessarily hurt or harass you but made you embarrassed enough that she got a little delight from it. “You said you’re from Brooklyn too?”
“Yes, but it’s big enough that I’ve never met your sister,” He looked up and spoke politely, clearly striving to impress your family. “Not that I know of, anyway.” He didn’t seem uncomfortable in the new atmosphere, which surprised you. Perhaps that was just because you seemed to be practically pathetic in new situations, constantly fiddling with your skirt or any bracelets that would adorn your wrists.
“That’s so crazy,” Marjorie spoke up, shoving a fork full of green beans into her mouth. You almost laughed, your hand moving to your mouth to cover your snort. You knew from the forkful that it was too full for her mouth to intake, although Marjorie didn’t realize it until she began wildly coughing and spitting a few of her beans back onto her plate.
A few of your siblings groaned, and your mother almost gagged. “Marjorie, please!” You were surprised that she wasn’t saying anything to you or your laughing siblings, disciplining you for egging her on. When your gaze cast to a chuckling Bucky, however, you figured she was being polite to your family’s guest.
“Good to know you guys have a good sense of humor,” Bucky smiled. “I was worried for a minute there that maybe you didn’t laugh.”
Still giddy from the green bean incident, even that thought made you giggle. “Out of everyone, I think I’m most likely to laugh.”
“I can see where you get it from,” Bucky laughed, gesturing slightly to your mother. She was laughing almost hysterically from something Helen had said, although Helen seemed less than thrilled she was laughing.
“Alright, alright, I’ve got something to say about good ol’ Jack Jr.,” George stood up, raising a glass as if to say something emotional. “Eat up, buddy. Have fun starving in the army.” Laughter and chatter rose, and George had to raise his voice to be heard. “And a reminder for the rest of us -- this is just half of the feast we’ll have once Jackie’s gone!” George joked, raising a glass.
Jean laughed, her bright green eyes looking over at her twin’s. “Here, here!”
Was it cruel? Perhaps. But to you, it was natural. Your family joked like this every day, and you remembered it being this way since the day you were born, and you sure it had been going on for years before that.
“Oh come on, come on,” Jack stood up, laughing as well. You smiled at him. Noticing for the first time how similar his laugh was to your father’s. “We can all have a feast that will make this seem like nothing when I kill Hitler.”
“Personally?” Ruth giggled.
“Bring us his head,” You laughed along with her, the two of you making giddy eye contact.
You were surprised when Bucky added, “Which’ll happen before or after Germany elects you as their new chancellor?” Jack responded as if Bucky was another sibling he had dealt with his whole life, and now a stranger that he hadn’t even personally met. “Well, killing ol’ Adolf will come before, naturally. How’d you think I won the chancellorship anonymously?” With that statement, he found his chair once more, now seemingly speechless and Roxie planted a kiss on his cheek, giggling and saying something you couldn’t hear over your family’s talkative roar.
“You certainly come from an ambitious family,” Bucky joked as he leaned towards you a little, spooning a potato onto his fork as he did so.
“Oh, when it comes to war, we never joke,” You put on a very sophisticated face and straightened your posture, clearly in a silly mood already. “Legend has it, our Grandfather David Y/L/N the second ended the first world war. And you know what they say -- the apples don’t fall far from the tree.” By now you were fighting to suppress a laugh.
“Legend has it our Grandpa David was crazy,” Samantha corrected. “And you know what they say-” “-The apples don’t fall far from the tree!” Marjorie finished, laughing like a hyena.
The rest of the night seemed to continue along similarly, everyone laughing and the looming loss of Jack Jr. to the Air Force seemed a threat not to be mentioned. When the main food was finished, Ruth excused herself and brought out two pies that she had made earlier that way, to which everyone cheered. After eating, everyone was required to help out with the dishes, and you and Bucky had too much fun drying them with the long white rags you had used since you were four years old.
“Do you want to head to the porch?” You asked once you were all done with dinner and the continuing aspects, suddenly a timid teenager as you looked from the groups your family had already formed to Bucky.
“Sure,” He looked towards the window briefly. “Funny, I didn’t even realize it had stopped raining.”
You met his gaze before looking back to him. “Oh yeah, I think it stopped during dinner.” Wordlessly, you made your way over the refrigerator as Bucky watched you. “Do you want a beer, Bucky?” He leaned his head back a little, straining to see what kinds you had from his standing spot. Giving up, he asked. “What do you got?” You used your hand to rummage through the pale yellow refrigerator. “Lots of Hamm’s. George and Roxie were in charge of alcohol and they live in Minnesota now, so…” You trailed off, pausing a moment longer as you double-checked. “Yep, just Hamm’s.”
“Hamm’s sounds fantastic.”
You chuckled, although you were sure only you could hear it and you leaned in to grab out two beers. Once you swung around, Bucky accepted the beer before walking with you outside.
Your family’s porch brought back more memories than almost any other part of your house. The white paint was chipping in some parts more exposed to weather, but that paint had been there for as long as you could remember. There was worn and flattened grey fabric underfoot, and white half walls that went around the border not attached to the house, save for the entrance in front of the door. Bucky and you both situated in outdoor chairs next to one another. You found yourself too immersed in recalling past times since you entered this porch to even think of a conversation starter.
“What’s your favorite childhood memory?” Bucky asked as if reading your mind. “Like here. On this porch.”
You paused for a moment to think it over. It was a big question, but you chuckled once you realized. “Yeah, when we were kids we had this giant bus, like an old school bus-” You used your hands to exaggerate the size. “And mom and dad let us paint it. However, we wanted. I mean, I must have been five at the time. Ruth wasn’t older than ten. We had no idea what we were doing! But it was…” You trailed off, smiling to yourself. “It was so wonderful. The art wasn’t good, and it was all on the bottom half of the bus. But when it was all done, we went camping. With the bus. We just packed all of the shit we needed, put it in the back couple of seats, and drove across the state. God, it was crazy. But the porch-” It took you a moment to remember what the point of your story and your face turned redder than usual once you realized your ramble. “When we came back home, we drove for hours. Over twelve. When we got back, it was dark, and we were so tired that we literally just collapsed on the porch and slept. Our parents went inside, but they just let us stay there. We slept on this porch. I don’t even think we realized it until we woke up.”
Once he was sure you were done, Bucky chuckled lightly. “Wow.”
“Yeah,” The alcohol already brought up a chuckle from your throat. “I was right there.” You pointed to a corner against the house. “I was the second to wake up, after Ruth.”
“Good thing it didn’t rain,” Bucky pointed out.
You looked over to meet his eyes, smiling. “That’s very true.” You leaned forward, resting your head on your hands, while your elbows positioned themselves on your knees. “Hey, what about you? Your family?”
“Well,” Bucky stretched his legs for a moment as he spoke, “There’s me, I’m the oldest. Then there’s Rebecca, Marie, and Judy.”
“All girls? So you’re the odd man out, then.”
“Oh, yeah.” He laughed before his voice fell a little quieter. “And there’s my mom, and she’s over there, and my dad left when I was twelve.”
“Oh.” Your voice was just as soft. “I’m sorry. That’s horrible.”
Bucky took a drink of his beer, shrugging. “We’re fine without him, you know?” You nodded, although you clearly didn’t know, and kept silent as you waited for the right words to come to you. “Is all of your family here?”
You took the opportunity. “Yeah. Ruth’s the oldest, and she brought her fiancé Dick. Then there’s George and his wife Roxie, Samantha, me-” You gestured to yourself, “Helen, Jack Jr., and Jean are twins, and Marjorie is the baby of the family. It’s crazy.”
“All families are crazy,” Bucky laughed. “But you can’t imagine life without them, right?”
“Right.” It was true. You were the fourth of eight kids, right in the middle and at the point where you never knew the life of an only child as the oldest might before its counterparts are born, or as the youngest might after its counterparts move out. You had always had family, large chunks on either side of you. You see so fortunate, you realized now. Bucky’s father was gone and his mother was sick, and he was the only boy in the family. No other males to interact with or really learn from. You loved your brothers to death, but you couldn’t imagine being only surrounded by them.
“I’ve thought about enlisting,” Bucky spoke, his eyes remaining fixated on the distant hills. The topic came from the far reaches of his mind, but you could tell he was trying to keep the conversation up. “From time to time.”
You took a drink. “Well, what’s stopping you?”
Bucky shrugged. “My mom,” He leaned his head a little as he spoke, unmistakably tired but too used to pushing through it. “My sisters and I have been rotating looking after her as she recovers, but I couldn’t leave when she’s like this. I think she’s getting better though. I hope she is.”
“Look, I’ve never met your mom but I promise she’d be fine without you. Your sisters sound amazing, they get it.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. Honestly, even leaving tomorrow is gonna be hard. I just love her so much and it hurts that I can’t be there for her,” He paused, his eyebrows lowered in a somber gaze.
“So you’ll be leaving tomorrow?” Your hand swirled the beer around in your can, feeling the liquid push enough against the metal of the can that it was felt in your palm. “For Brooklyn?”
“Now that Becca’s back, I guess. If not tomorrow then Thursday.”
You nodded slowly, almost having to process his words. “Yeah, I’m leaving Thursday. We all wanted to see Jack Jr. off tomorrow.” “Yeah, yeah,” Bucky agreed. “That makes sense, yeah.” You stared ahead, any comments staying behind your somber expression. For the first time in a long time, you felt as though you could let down your chipper personality and personal guard to be the person you felt like at that moment. Bucky’s charismatic personality spurred that, you supposed. “Hey, um…” You spoke without really thinking, your speech slowing as you thought of what would come next. “I feel like we should visit in Brooklyn. Or something like that. You know, it just seems like such a shame that we’d live so close to each other and forget ever talking. Right?”
“I didn’t want to intrude, but I was thinking the same thing.” Bucky looked at you, his lips turning up to a smile. “Do you have an address or phone I could write down?”
“Oh! Yeah, let me just grab a piece of paper and a pen,” You stood up, reaching to place your beer can on the ground. Bucky intercepted it and offered to hold it, which you graciously let him do.
“Paper. Pen. Where?” You walked in through the screen door, speaking to no one in particular as you tried to minimize the time you made Bucky sit alone outside. For a moment it was silent, and you wondered if anyone could even hear you over the loud talking.
“To your right!” Helen glanced up at you, and you turned to see a notepad and pen by the phone. “Just put it back in the same place.” “Will do! Thank you!” You shouted your response, grabbing it and walking back outside. Bucky looked towards you as you walked out, outstretching a hand to pass you back your beer.
Thanking him, you sat down. “I’ll just tear a piece of paper in half to share,” You pulled a piece off, carefully ripping it in half and giving half to Bucky. In your neatest handwriting, you wrote:
Y/N Y/L/N
BR-20880
3517 Hoffman Avenue
Under which, you attempted to draw a small happy face, although it turned out worse than you hoped and considered scribbling it out altogether. You caught a glance of Bucky waiting for the pen, however, and you passed it to him instead.
“Nice drawing,” He commented.
“Oh, shush,” You laughed, bringing Bucky smiled at your reaction. “This is why I’m an English major and not an art major.”
“You’re an English major?” He looked up from
his scribbles. “Brooklyn College?”
“Yes,” You nodded your head slowly at his guess. “Probably wasn’t hard to figure out, though.”
“What, just because you live there?” He passed you the now completed sheet of paper, which you stuck in your pocket. “You seem like the type of dame who likes to travel.”
“To school every day? No thank you.” You chuckled. “And Brooklyn suits me very well.”
He nodded, chucking again.
“What’s so funny?” You tilted your head.
“A real live college girl. Learning English. Wow.” You could tell he was trying to be a jerk, and you laughed and pushed him softly with your hand. It was an action you had seen your mother do affectionately to your father hundreds of times, and you weren’t even sure it registered in your mind when you did it yourself.
“I’m not learning English. I’m perfecting my English.”
He whistled. “Give me a big word. I want to feel smarter, go.”
You twirled your necklace in your hands for a minute before saying, “Axiomatic.” “Axiomatic?” Bucky repeated slowly.
You nodded. “It means obvious.” You hadn’t actually learned that one from school, but from your younger sister Jean. You had no idea where she had gotten it from, but it had been one of your favorite words for years
“Ooh, give me another. Hit me.”
“Meleagrine,” You said slowly.
“Gave me chills,” He joked.
After waiting for a moment, you answered, “Pertaining to turkeys,” smiling smugly. Bucky gave a hearty laugh, and you felt your own smile grow. “You liked that one, did you?”
“Oh, did I!” He looked back at you, his smile lingering. You realized how blue his eyes were. Not a dull sort of blue as your father and Ruth shared, but a bright blue. Reminiscent of the sky in the summer, or the ocean when the sun rises. For a second you thought you should look away, that you had been staring too long. Then you seemed to notice them all over again and were enthralled with the color once more.
“Thanks for this,” You smiled at him, raising your voice to catch his attention before flickering your eyes away. “I should go inside, I think.”
“Yeah,” He looked back at you, his voice distant but his smile was near and warm. “Anytime.”
#bucky barnes#bucky#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x reader#40s!bucky#1940s bucky barnes#1940s#marvel#mcu#bucky series#marvel x reader#part two
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How I’ve managed to succeed.
Forward:
Yesterday, @KC Allen asked about how people stick with their long term goals and hold themselves accountable. @Brad Bishop requested that I write a book on the subject, but I think that may be a bit of overkill. I have wanted to put down the most important skills I have learned for achieving goals. So, I might as well spend an hour or two doing it. I apologize for the length of this post / note / possible future book outline, but I will try to be as concise as I can in the few hours I have allocated to drafting, fact-checking, writing, and editing. Without further ado, here is “How to succeed: the April Choi Method.”
Overview:
Overall, these are the steps I use:
Setting a Goal
Breaking down the Goal into Steps
Planning out those Steps
Testing the Realism of that Goal
Re-planning and Documentation
The Incentive, Motivation, and Self-Discipline Trinity
Building Incentives
Seeding Motivation
Cultivating Self-Discipline
External and Internal Accountability
Methods and Tools for Maintaining Focus
Time Management & Efficiency
Resources: Time, Money, Energy
Tips, Tricks, and Tools
Goal Setting: Since the main focus of KC’s post was accountability, I’m only going to touch on proper goal setting.
Finding and setting a goal is usually the easy part for people, but it’s holding on to that level of initial excitement that’s the difficult part. Before we get to that, I do want to mention that testing the realism of your goal is an important step and you don’t want to skip it. A few days of testing or research could save you years of your life and disappointment. For me, I still have the dream of breaking the world record for “Most juggling catches of 3 whips in 1 minute”. However, after testing my learning I realized that this would not be possible in the time frame and given the effort I had outlined. I have in the past spent hundreds of hours striving for a goal, only to realize that the end was not possible due to something out of my control. The weather, your location, or income could be something you’re not considering. Please do. Breaking down the goal is a good way to check if that goal is possible, but also to see what some unexpected challenges may be. “The First 20 Hours: How to Learn Anything, Fast!” by Josh Kaufman and “Smarter Faster Better: The Secrets of Being Productive in Life and Business” by Charles Duhigg are marvelous resources for how you can break things down into baby steps. The key here is to truly visualize yourself going through each and every single step. Something as simple as “Needs a notary” or “Needs a work visa” could be the difference between succeeding or not. I have forgotten very simple things before that has then trapped me or negated all my previous work.
Documentation: Lists are amazingly powerful tools. I have them everywhere. I have a list tattooed to my arm. I use them all the time. Now, some people aren’t list people, and we’ll get to them in a bit. The main point of a list is to organize the steps from above so you don’t have to waste time thinking about it later. It’s also nice to cross things off. In “Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity” by David Allen, his entire system is based on the idea of a “Tickler File”. It’s a way of setting up a system of which when something is needed to be done, it tickles his brain when it needs to. Allen uses a file system, some people use a 30,000 ft view like in “Elevate: The Three Disciplines of Advanced Strategic Thinking” by Rich Horwath, and some people use a calendar. Personally, I use the bucket method, which is putting tasks into bucket lists. My buckets are: Daily, Weekly, Bi-Weekly, Monthly, Seasonal, Yearly, and Future. I have a list with everything I plan to do placed onto one of those lists. As time moves on, things move from one list to another. Use what you need, but planning and documenting REALLY helps. For the people who aren’t list people, I love to them the parking lot or brain dump. Given a certain amount of time (weekly for me), I use a brain dump. It’s where I sit down for 5-10 min and write out everything that comes into my head. Some people use a parking lot, where they “park” an idea from the week. I like doing it all at once. From this, you pick the top 3 things you want to work on in that time frame. Keller, of “The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results” by Gary Keller likes to connect all his activities to a single objective and that way he has less distractions. Everything as one common goal. That way you aren’t overwhelmed with a massive list, but rather you can pick and choose what to worry about for any given week. Obviously, there are home, family, work, and social obligations, but this is assuming that you are doing those things, you just have 1 point of focus outside the necessary things to hold your baseline.
Visualization: Now to the real meat of what people want. You’re already on a journey, but how do you stick to it? The first ‘trick’ I like to use is visualization. You should have a goal in mind but you also need to truly FEEL what it’s like to have that goal done. Both “Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action” by Simon Sinek and “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change” by Stephen R. Covey start with visualizing your goal in full. If you don’t have a goal, then imagining what you want people to say at your 100th birthday party is a good generic guide. That visual of your goal should inspire you a great amount, and being able to come back to that is a powerful tool.
THE INCENTIVE-MOTIVATION-DISCIPLINE TRINITY: Anecdotally, the question that gets asked the most about sticking with something is “How do I stay motivated?”. You’ve probably seen the “F**K Motivation” post and thought, for a moment, that it’s all about self-discipline. Your job may think something else and argue that money and power is how you get people to do things. Well, as with most things in life, it's more about balance than the black and white, binary view the world keeps feeding us. I’ve always loved the idea of the exposure trinity from photography. It’s not just Aperture, Shutter Speed, or ISO, but a balance of all three. If you lose some of one, you need more of the others. Let’s go through each one of these, what they are, and how they can help you.
Incentive: Incentive is the most obvious of extrinsic motivators. It’s getting more money, a nicer car, food on your plate, clothing, or the ability to live. We’ve all heard the phrase “Money can’t buy you happiness.” and the arguments that come with. What it comes down to is your placement on Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. If you are starving and don’t have the money to buy food, money can definitely buy happiness. If you own a multi-billion dollar company, even giving away a billion to a charity is probably not going to give you lasting happiness. It’s relative. In “The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want” by Sonja Lyubomirsky, Lyubomirsky shows in an experiment where they paid people the US equivalent of $1 per task up to $1000 per task that people very quickly stop putting in effort after a certain payment. At $1 per task, they have to do the task 5-10 times for a meal. But give them $1000, why would they want to put in more effort once they have enough money to eat for a year. This experiment was carried out in a very low-income country, and despite the promise of getting a years worth of money in a single day, the people there actually started to slow down their production rates. This is the downside of incentives or external motivation. They work up to a point. It’s stated in “Happy: Why More or Less Everything is Absolutely Fine” by Derren Brown that around $75,000 / year, there is no further correlation between happiness and additional income. As I am currently rather well off, I no longer need Incentive. For many of you, this may be a great extrinsic motivator. I have used the money from commissions, shows, and workshops as incentive in the past, but it’s hasn’t pushed me much compared to the other two. My extrinsic motivators are now things I enjoy doing. If I get this article written by the end of the day, I get candy or a trip to the climbing gym. Make sure whatever you use for incentive is worthwhile to you.
Motivation: The big “M” word that is thrown around a lot. I know that many of you are going to want to know what are the secrets of staying motivated. Sadly, there are not any. Motivation comes and goes. Is strong or is weak. Some days you have it, and some days you don’t. Rather than concentrating on getting more motivation, I like to think about what triggers or sparks your motivation. For me it is music, or people. So if I want motivation to study Spanish, I listen to Spanish music. If I want motivation to practice burlesque, I talk to burlesque dancers. Doing those things doesn’t create motivation. My intrinsic motivation is already there, these things just help it out. Even in the great motivational books that I would recommend such as “The Little Black Book of Workout Motivation” by Michael Matthews, “The Motivation Manifesto: 9 Declarations to Claim Your Personal Power” by Brendon Burchard, and “You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life” by Jen Sincero, though they throw around the word “motivation” a lot, what it came down to was techniques that sparked motivation or habits than maintained it. I’m not saying it’s not worth it, but understand how it works and how to use it to boost yourself. Don’t rely on motivation, but think about it like how caffeine should help your day, rather than you be dependent on it.
Self-Discipline: Holy Cheese balls this is a big section. Let me just get the references out of the way. Please, do yourself a favor and read or listen to these: “The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It” by Kelly McGonigal, “The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage” by Mel Robbins, “Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength” by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney, “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance” by Angela Duckworth, and “Scientific Secrets for Self-Control” by C. Nathan DeWall and The Great Courses.
Let me be frank with you, the only way to build Self-Discipline is to do it. It’ll suck that first day, but as you do it, it gets easier. Start off with something simple, something easy to stay focused on and try for as long as you can. If getting started is difficult for you, then use the 5-second rule. You are allowed 5 seconds, then you have to start. Count, 1, 2, 3, 4, and before you get to 5, you have to have started. That works wonders for me. Even when I’m sad. I give myself a timer. I’m allowed to cry for 10 minutes, but when that timer goes off, I’m done crying and I get back to work. If you want a drill to build self-discipline, there is nothing in this world that will give you the outcome that meditation will. I’ve written on Meditation a number of times, so I’m just going to put my favorite version of what I’ve written: Meditation as Strength Training for Self-Discipline:
I have found myself explaining how to get into meditation, or responding to a lot of “I can’t meditate.” comments. I have found an analogy that I think helps quite it bit. I like to think that Meditation is just strengthening focus just like weight lifting strengthens your muscles.
So for lifting you have reps, weight and muscle groups.
For meditation, a single rep is:
*Focus on something*
*Have a distracted thought*
*Guide yourself back to the something*
That’s it. That’s the most basic iteration of meditation.
The amount of weight or “strength" in meditation is how focused the task is. Watching TV is almost mindless. So, it’s like lifting 1 lb. Slightly more difficult might be something like reading a book; which would be like lifting 20 lbs. For you, yoga could be 50 lbs, jogging is like lifting 100 lbs, just concentrating on your breath is like 200 lbs, and sitting still with your eyes closed, thinking about nothing is like lifting 500 lbs. Now, I don’t know that many people that can lift 500 lbs. Thus, I wouldn’t expect someone who just started meditation to meditate on such a difficult subject.
Personally, I use highly repetitive activities. Knitting, Braiding, Whip Making, or actual weight-lifting. You can use whatever you like. The goal is to “Single-task” rather than multi-task or get distracted.
Just like you can lift weights to improve certain muscle groups, you can meditate to strengthen certain mental muscles. This can be positive aspects like gratitude, confidence, or loving-kindness; or negative aspects such as negative self-talk, anger, or jealousy. For a positive aspect, focus on a single positive affirmations (like “I am smart.) and when you get distracted, guide yourself back to it.
For an exercise regimen, you can start with just 1 set of 5 reps once or twice a week. As you get more comfortable with it, you can ramp up to doing 1 set of 10 Reps, resting (which is just doing anything else), then doing another set, for 2 sets of 10, three to four times a week. In about a month, most people will find that the reps happen without counting and a set is now a period of time. Currently, I used my FitBit to meditate 5 min a day, once a day. Not everyday, just when I feel like I need to calm down or collect myself.
For negative thoughts, the regimen is a bit different. I like to write down the opposite on a rubber band that I wear on my wrist. For something like “Less Negative Self-Talk” I write “Be more positive” in the rubber band. When I notice a negative thought enters my mind I snap the rubber band and that is my rep for my training regimen. You don’t actually need the rubber band, just pushing the thought aside is enough. The rubber band is just a nice physical reminder.
As you get better at mediation, you’ll notice that the reps get easier and are spaced further apart. Very few people can go more than 5 seconds without a distracting thought when just concentrating on their breath. So, if you can make it that long, you’re already at the super elite, olympic level of meditation. If not, don’t worry. Plenty of people never win a gold medal in Olympic weight-lifting.
If you want to build the habit into your daily life, you can pick a time to meditate. I have found it much easier to establish a meditation habit by linking it to an activity you already do. For example, whenever you brush your teeth, take a shower, or eat lunch.
I hope this helps someone starting their meditation journey. I realize that meditation is not for everyone. So, if you don’t like it, don’t do it. There are plenty of studies that show meditation helping anxiety, depression, stress, or just improving focus. [Links Below] The method I described above is obviously not the only way to meditate. It was just a way that’s analogous to how most people strengthen their muscles. There are plenty of other methods including guided meditations for beginners. Hopefully, you find something for you.
https://nccih.nih.gov/health/meditation/overview.htm https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1609875 https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/mindfulness-meditation-may-ease-anxiety-mental-stress-201401086967
The Wall:
So, you’re now goal-oriented, motivated, and focused, but you still can’t get the things done that you want done. You’ve hit the dreaded “Wall”. What can you do from here? Well, if you’ve hit that wall, then it’s because you have run out of a resource. That resource, may be Money, Time, or Energy. This is where you need to start budgeting all three. If there is only one book you read from all the ones I have given you, let it be this one: “The Productivity Project: Accomplishing More by Managing Your Time, Attention, and Energy” by Chris Bailey. I have read, listened to, re-read, and re-listened to this books multiple times. It’ll will get you over your biggest hurdles. I’m only going to touch on efficiency and procrastination a little bit because this book has it all covered. Every chapter is a new method on how to be productive, how to improve efficiency, and how to stop procrastinating.
Efficiency & Procrastination:
If your serious about this, right now, start counting to 60, once you get to the number 30, Stop reading this, Google “The Productivity Project: Accomplishing More by Managing Your Time, Attention, and Energy” by Chris Bailey, then by the time you get to 60, buy that book. Put it at the top of your pile, read it, even if you don’t think you have time, trust me, it’s worth every second of time, 10 times over. Seriously, do it now. Everything I would write out is pretty much a recreation of that book, from biological prime time to task batching.
So, with that, we move onto the big three resources: Time, Money and Energy. These are probably your biggest walls. I’m not saying you will get over these. Some of these are just too big. But hopefully, the advice and resources here will help you out.
Time:
Time is a tough one. You can’t make more time, but you can get rid of time holes. In “The Productivity Project”, Bailey talks about keeping a time journal. I personally use Toggl.com and find it super useful. But for me, I found a secret that drastically increased the amount of time I have and made everything I wanted to do go much faster. How? People. People: This is probably my biggest “Secret” when it comes to doing all the things I get done. The adage “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” is true in more ways than one. If you meet the right people each of you gets to leverage your own strengths and help cover each other’s weaknesses. Also, people give you an amazing way to check to make sure what your doing is the right path. The amount of knowledge the rest of the world has is infinitely larger than the knowledge you have. Use them. Sadly, people are usually the largest hole of time than could suck out all the time you have. Between arguments, disagreements, and fights, you can lose hundreds of hours a year. But with a good team of friends and family, they can also help you get through things. I HIGHLY recommend spending time with each of these books to help you gain the human resources and interpersonal skills to help you gain more time. Communicating with others: “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High” by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler. “More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory” by Franklin Veaux. “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” by Gary Chapman.
Interpersonal Skills: “Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People” by Vanessa Van Edwards. “Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think” by Tasha Eurich
Advice: “Tools of Titans: The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers” and “Tribe of Mentors: Short Life Advice from the Best in the World” both by Tim Ferriss
Money:
After not having enough time, the next things I hear is “I don’t have the money.” There is no quick fix here. I’m not a financial expert, so I’m simply going to give you what’s helped me: “The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness” by Dave Ramsey, “Rich Dad Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!” by Robert T. Kiyosaki. What’s probably helped me the most in increasing my income is “Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It” by Chris Voss
Emotions:
This is the last area I’m going to touch on. It’s the area I have the most difficulty with. I suffer from depression severe enough to leave me doing nothing but working, crying, ruminating, with very little sleep and very little food. Here, I also don’t have an easy answer for you. Therapy, friends, socializing, and gratitude are going to be your best bet moving forward. As for resources, these are my top 5 favorite books on improving my happiness.
“Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things” by Jenny Lawson
“The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin
“SuperBetter: The Power of Living Gamefully” by Jane McGonigal
“Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” by Brené Brown
“The Happiness Advantage: How a Positive Brain Fuels Success in Work and Life” by Shawn Achor
Tips, Tricks, and Tools: Here is a list of Tips, Tricks, and Tools that I have used. I put these last in hopes that you would first read the above section to better understand how important framework and context is. You can have the fastest car in the world, but if you don’t know how to drive, you’re never going to win a race. These will help you, but unless you build them into a habit, they are unlikely going to stick around long enough to get you to your goal by yourself.
Journaling. Whether it’s to keep track of thoughts, tasks, exercise, time, or food. Writing down what you do, eat, or think almost always has the largest impact on behavioral change.
Motivational Photo Wall. I have a wall of photos of goals and people that inspire me.
Brain Dump. Sit down for 5-10 min and write down everything that bothers you so you don’t forget a thing.
5 second rule. You get 5 seconds, then you have to start doing whatever it is you need to start doing.
Pomodoro Technique. Set a timer. For 25 minutes you have to work HARD, but then give yourself a 5 min break.
Accountability Partner or Coach. Pretty much self-explanatory.
Therapy. Also, self-explanatory.
Self-writing. What I’m doing here. Then read your letter, post, or article when you need to.
Tiny Tasks. Break tasks down to tasks that each take 5 min or less. You can break an hour long task of writing into 12, 5-minute bursts.
Self-Talk. Change the way you self-talk.
Visualization. Think of the end goal whenever you get low.
Find your prime time. When are you most active? Do the hard things then.
Mentor someone else. When you have to teach or mentor, you learn a lot as well.
ASK FOR HELP!!! Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
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Do You Know What Your Body Is Saying - Really? You Sure?
Physical Wellness is much more than losing weight When the term physical wellness is mentioned, most people think of dieting and losing weight. If part of your plan for physical wellness involves losing weight, don’t simply go on a diet. As we all know, if we are being honest, diets don’t work. We know that when it comes to diets, no one size fits all. But as soon as a new fad diet hits the market, we are out the door and to the store or on the computer ordering. If you cannot live on this “newest plan” forever, or let’s say it works for a bit, but the first time you eat normal food, you learn it was all in vain, then that diet is not right for you. Physical wellness is more than losing weight. It involves changing aspects of life that are necessary to keep yourself in top condition. Your body has been telling you how it feels your entire life! But are you listening? Sure, you grew up hearing your body tell you when it’s hungry or thirsty, tired or energetic. You and your body are together all the time. Let’s maximize this close relationship and use it to better understand the true meaning of physical wellness. Physical wellness is concerned with developing a personal responsibility for your own health care, such as caring for minor illnesses and recognizing when professional medical attention is needed. Developing physical wellness empowers you to monitor your own vital signs and understand your body’s warning signs. You’ll understand and appreciate the relationship between sound nutrition and how your body performs. The physical benefits of looking good and feeling terrific most often lead to the psychological benefits of enhanced self-esteem, self-control, determination, and a sense of direction. Physical wellness is the ability to maintain a healthy quality of life that allows you to get the most out of your daily activities without undue fatigue or physical stress. Physical wellness means living responsibly and taking care of your body and recognizing that your daily habits and behaviors have a significant impact on your overall health, wellness, and quality of life. Adopting healthful habits (e.g., a balanced diet, regular physical activity, adequate sleep, and routine health checks) while avoiding destructive habits (e.g., tobacco, drugs, and alcohol) will lead to optimal physical wellness and reduced risk of preventable chronic illness. Our Path to Physical Wellness At the end of this time together, I want you to feel in control of your physical wellness—all components of it. And I know many aspects of physical wellness would be better for many people if we took off some weight. Although this certainly is not a weight loss plan, we will spend time addressing weight loss, because weight is a contributing factor to many areas of health deficiencies. Even in this modern era, many of us are remarkably ill informed and amazingly apathetic about the foods we eat. We know every excuse in the book to justify what we eat. The results are a society in which too many of us are overweight, many to the point of obesity and not to mention all the part of life you may miss because of low energy and low self-esteem. According to 2016 data, adult obesity rates now exceed 35 percent in four states, 30 percent in 25 states, and above 20 percent in all states. Even with these startling numbers, I can’t emphasize enough that dieting is not the answer. A study that examined the results of popular diets concluded that nearly 100 percent of dieters suffered almost “complete relapse after 3–5 years.” So, if you need to lose weight, don’t start dieting; change your lifestyle. Should we count every calorie that we put into our mouth for the rest of our lives? Hopefully not. I truly pray not. It has been my experience that when we focus too intently on weight reduction, we make weight loss even harder to achieve. Instead, we should eliminate from our diets the foods that obviously are bad for us and we should eat more of the foods that obviously are good for us. And of course, we should eat sensible amounts, not super-size portions. As informed adults, we have access to all the information that we need to make healthy dietary choices. In the grocery store, almost every food item is clearly marked. In restaurants, fast food and sit down, nutrition information should be posted. The key point is to read the nutrition information before buying food or ordering a meal and certainly BEFORE putting it into your mouth. It is up to each of us to make wise dietary choices because we pay the consequences. I wish I could honestly tell you that from here on out you will experience nothing but success along your path to physical wellness. Temptation is a frequent visitor in our lives, and we will have to discipline our emotions, our moods, and our mouths, so that we remain stable and calm, and peaceful—regardless of our situation or circumstances. Now that we have established physical wellness is more than just weight loss, what else is there? And how do we start down this path toward physical wellness? Physical wellness is not a destination; it is a journey. We cannot get in peak physical shape and feel totally healthy one day and then do nothing the next day to maintain that state of health. We do, however, need to find out where we are today—that is, where is our base so that we know where we are headed on this journey. Physical Wellness Assessment Indicate yes or no for each of the following statements: ____ I know important health numbers, like my cholesterol, weight, blood pressure, and blood sugar levels. ____ I get annual physical exams. ____ I listen to my body; when there is something wrong, I seek professional advice. ____ I maintain a desirable weight for my body type. ____ I avoid using tobacco products and do not consume more than three alcoholic beverages per week. ____ I get a sufficient amount of sleep for my age (seven to eight hours). ____ I have an established exercise routine. ____ I protect my skin from sun damage by using sunscreen, wearing hats, and/or avoiding tanning booths and sunlamps. ____ I protect myself and others from getting ill (wash my hands, cover my mouth and nose when I cough, etc.). ____ I eat at least five servings of fresh fruit and vegetables daily and drink water regularly. IDENTIFY MY GOAL AND WHY IT’S IMPORTANT Now is the time to begin defining and planning your goals to start your journey based largely in part on the results of this Physical Wellness Assessment. Remember these are your goals. No goals are one size fits all. What your body needs is not what your best friend’s body needs. It is also the first step/week, and it is okay to change your goals as you continue along this journey and learn more about yourself. I found focusing on the social (17/40), emotional (23/40), intellectual (25/40) have actually had a positive influence on my physical (29/40) already. 1. The goal I want to achieve is: 2. I want to achieve this goal because: 3. Achieving this goal will change my life in the following positive ways: 4. Achieving this goal will change my life in the following negative ways: 5. I am ready to face all the changes that accomplishing this goal will mean for me. I can lessen the negative impact that this change will have in my life by: 6. I will be happier if I achieve my goal because: OUTLINE: WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO UNDERSTAND PHYSICAL WELLNESS What steps do you need to complete to ensure your success in the action steps above? List below, the most important things or subgoals you need to accomplish to achieve your primary goal. (Each subgoal may have smaller steps within them.) STEPS TO BE COMPLETED 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Physical Wellness continues in our next blog..... Click Subscribe to join our email list and get your free Lifestyle Assessment for all seven dimensions that make up life.... Read the full article
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lose 20lbs in 30 days or less
Stats 🌱
5’5
GW: 100lbs
CW: 120
I’ve already lost weight to get to 120lbs. I’m live blogging my last 20lbs for accountability. Hopefully this won’t take long...
Goals and rewards 🍃
Pre-120lbs: I didn’t have goals. I should’ve though, bc I’ve been losing and bingeing back the same weight over and over again for years now
120lbs 🔓: unblock tumblr. Tumblr is my only social media, so I had to make sure I worked hard to get it back. Now that I finally made it here, I can share the rest of my journey with you all.
115lbs 🔐: spend $30 on Amazon and unblock Netizenbuzz and AsianJunkie (2 kpop news sites that I visit frequently). I have no business looking at skinny idols who work hard for their bodies until I get down to at least 115lbs. Lose the weight, stay up to date. If your body stays stout, keep missing out. Simple as that.
105lbs 🔐: unblock youtube. I’ve spent years procrastinating work in favor of watching dumb videos all day. Tired of having no entertainment? Lose the weight then! I don’t watch tv so this is a big one for me. Catching up on all the Cody Ko, Drew Gooden, Danny Gonzalez, and Kurtis Conner I missed will be a great reward though. My lowest weight I’ve gotten down to was 110 a long time ago but I immediately binged it all back like an absolute dummy. I still beat myself up for it to this day urrrgghhhh I was so close! Anyway, 105 means that I’ve pushed myself further than ever before and I will deserve a few hours of passively watching a screen and laughing so hard that my soon-to-be-perfect tummy hurts
100lbs 🔐✨: go shopping at the vegan/organic grocery store, try on my skinny clothes (I’ll tell about that in a bit), get my AirPods back. Music is my favorite thing in the world but I hate listening to it on my phone speakers. No AirPods means no music while I walk my dog either, which is one of my favorite parts of the day along with my morning dance parties while no one is home. Dancing around the house for an hour or two does absolute wonders for my mood and is just so much fun in general. When I get my AirPods back I can return to having morning dance parties, only this time I’ll be skinny and free and light on my feet. Music hits different when you aren’t self conscious about how you look dancing to it...
I can’t cheat and just give myself access to the things I’ve taken away. No weight loss, no getting my things back, no excuses! Everything in this world has to be earned. If you want it, work for it.
Motivation 🌿
I have a folder of thinspo saved that I look at every day
I voice recorded myself reading a list of positive affirmations I made about weight loss that I listen to while I meditate (I may share the list some day idk)
I have my stack of skinny clothes on my dresser as a reminder of what I’m working for. My skinny clothes are all of the tight shirts, crop tops, high waisted jeans, etc that I either accidentally bought too small or grew out of years ago. They are some of my favorite clothes but bc of my own bad eating habits over the years, I haven’t been able to wear them in forever. I donated about half of my clothes last year but I decided to keep these bc I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I deserve to wear my cute ass clothes. I paid for them and I want my moneys worth! I’m wearing my fucking clothes do you hear me?!
My mom noticed my fat and laughed about it to my sister when I was getting dressed for homecoming. A few years later my other sister noticed I was sucking in my stomach when I showed her my new tank top and pointed it out. A few months ago my brother-in-law saw me stepping on the bathroom scale and he was visibly shocked at the number. I never want to feel another shameful experience like those again. I will make sure it never happens.
I’ve been trying to lose weight since I was about 14 years old but all I’ve done is gain and gain and gain. That’s so many years of hiding my body, taking selfies from the neck up, constantly sucking in, and feeling self conscious. I’m sick of it. I’m done with it. I am NOT going back
The obesity epidemic in America is REAL. It’s almost as if every food company here is personally recruiting people to join the obesity club. No disrespect to those who have already become members but I politely decline my invitation to join you. Thanks for the offer though...
Plan 🌾
500 calories is my daily max. I don’t expect to hit 500 but it’s there for just in case
Every morning I will weigh myself and post it
I will post everything I eat and show screen shots from any apps I use to track things
I am holding myself accountable to reach my GW within 30 days. One month of hard work for ultimate satisfaction. I’m not someone who puts looks above everything else but I’ve wanted this for so many years. Trust me, I’m gonna be hella satisfied and rightfully so! 😤
When I reach 100lbs, my TDEE will be about 1,900 calories a day to maintain my weight if I start exercising moderately every week. If I don’t exercise it will be about 1,400-1,500 calories. I don’t just want to be skinny, I want to have a healthier lifestyle as well, so I plan to keep exercising. I actually look forward to being the skinny girl that you see jogging every morning bc she’s just so hEaLtHy. It should take me a week or two to slowly work up to eating that amount of calories again without a bunch of weight gain after restricting for so long, but then I can stay on it consistently. There will obviously be days here and there where I go over (holidays especially) but as long as I don’t make a habit out of going over my TDEE which is how I got fat in the first place, I should be fine.
Read my daily posts if you want to see discipline and success in action. Feel free to send me some encouraging words ♡. We hitting goal weights in 2019 baby!!!!
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(VERSIÓN EN ESPAÑOL AQUÍ)
¡Hey! It’s been 3 days since I finished my first term of University. I have completed this first half with one of the highest grades of the class, and I’m really happy about it!
Winter break has started for me, and I stopped to think about everything I learned in this first 4 months of University, and what I can do to improve. And so, this post was born. Let’s go!:
I study Multimedial Design and it turned hard, very quickly. It’s a career that requires a lot of planning and organization to succeed.
OWN AN AGENDA: If you don’t have one, then take a random piece of paper, a notebook, your notepad, whatever!. Write down important dates, what you need to get done today, and the days that follow.
ORGANIZE YOUR TIME: There isn’t a single task that can’t be done in time. With some exceptions, it’s common that big projects are announced at least a week before it’s due. Start the big projects when they are little!. Divide your time so you can complete everything in time, without having to risk your health and sleeping habits (you’ll lose some sleep inevitably, so don’t add more hours!)
READ THE MATERIAL BEFORE THE CLASS STARTS: Be it a book, a powerpoint presentation, or a related article. Prepare yourself so you can start and actually follow the class. It won’t be the first time you are exposed to the topic, so you can ask questions when doubt rises.
SORT YOUR NOTES OUT: A mess of papers will only bring problems. Here, opinions differ. I personally like to divide each subject in different folders. The idea is to group the notes and pages that belong to one class, in the same place. If you can number the pages, even better.
SET AN ALARM AND RESPECT IT: Pretty self-explanatory. Being late to class is harmful to you and the image the professors have of you. You can risk losing an entire term to retake a class because you didn’t attend. Honestly? Those 5 minutes are not worth it.
PREPARE EVERYTHING YOU NEED THE NIGHT BEFORE: Plan the outfit you’ll wear to class and leave it in the chair by your bed. Prepare the accesories and your bag. Clean your shoes and leave them by the door. Prepare all the things you need for class, put your wallet in there, along with your documents and your keys. Check the weather and leave a jacket ready for the cold. Charge your phone, set your alarm and...
GET AT LEAST 7 HOURS OF SLEEP: Sleep is important, people. If you are correctly organized, you can finish everything you need to do and go to bed at a reasonable hour. Of course, this can vary when it’s exam season, but even then, try at least to sleep 5.
My classes start at 7:50AM and finish a little past lunch. Some things to consider:
MAKE THE MOST OUT OF YOUR CLASSES: Pay attention, take notes, discuss, add to the topic, ask questions, listen. If it’s hard for you to talk, listen to the questions others make: They may ask just what you need. Establish a good, respectful relationship with your professors, They want to teach and answer questions. Submit your work on time, too.
BRING SOMETHING TO EAT: Class periods can transform into long, long hours in which you need to eat at least something. Bring a tiny snack. Water, cookies, cereal bars, fruit, cereal and yoghurt. If it’s cold, bring coffee or tea, or a light soup that will warm you inside out!
Oh, the horror!
WRITE DOWN ALL THE DATES RELATED TO THE EXAM: Days when they will revise with the class, the date and time of the actual exam, and the date to retake it. If your University offers a virtual campus, they will most likely post an Academic Calendar listing all the important dates. Read it and write it down!
KNOW THE REQUIREMENTS TO SIGN UP FOR AN EXAM: This is so important. You don’t want to miss an exam because you couldn’t successfully register to take it. Some subjects need a specific amount of attendance % to register (Mine, for example, is 80%). For this subject in particular I needed to register at least 2 days before the actual exam. Some of my classmates tried signing up the night before and the system rejected it, and they lost the opportunity to take the exam. So! Be careful! Ask your professors about the specific method for the class so you don’t have any problems!
PREPARE TO STUDY AT LEAST A WEEK BEFORE: Everyone has their own methods, but before actually studying you need to have your material ready. Have you done all the exercises? Have you read the mandatory reading list? If you take notes, have you revised or rewritten them? It’s fundamental that you have everything set so you can start studying. If you don’t, then the time is now. Complete your notes, read what you haven’t, ask all the doubts away, rewrite the info, everything. Reach the deadline with a calm mindset, knowing that you have done everything in time. It’s good because if you start early, you can go at your own pace. If you are late, you’ll rush it. So start at least a week before.
IT’S TIME TO STUDY: Leave your phone charging in another room. Some people like to study with music, I prefer silence. Find what’s best for you if you haven’t already. Gather all your notes and mental maps, and start. Don’t forget to take breaks and to eat properly. There is a phrase a professor told me that really helps me when i’m feeling stressed: STUDY WITH LOVE. Remember that you chose this career because you want to be a professional. Study with your goals in mind, know that studying this is a step towards that professional that you want to become. Of course, this doesn’t always work. If the subject is shit, and you just need to know it and you’ll forget as soon as you are out of the exam, then breathe and just get on with it.
The time has come:
BEFORE THE EXAM: Dress up comfortable, don’t break the dresscode if there is one (I, for example, have to wear a button-up and heels to take a Final). Have a good breakfast so you are energized and ready to nail the exam. Reread your notes one last time, briefly go over them but don’t try to study something you left out. Go with what you know. Prepare all the materials you need and greet the professor when you enter the classroom.
DURING THE EXAM: Don’t copy, please. Be honest about what you know and what you don’t. Write what you know, take in consideration how much time you have to do the exam. Write your name, the date, and pour everything you know. It’s time to show how much have studied.
AFTER THE EXAM: Breathe. It’s over. If you feel like you didn’t do so great, don’t worry over it too much. It’s done and you can’t change what you wrote there. Take charge of what you will write when you retake the exam by studying again, and better. Rest a little before starting up a new task, and take a shower. Pat yourself in the back. You did it.
¡Woooo!
BE YOURSELF: A bit basic, isn’t it? But seriously. Be yourself. You are older, you attend University. There is no need to be who others want you to be, there is no need to please others. Be who you are and people who like you and are like you will gravitate towards you. That’s how you make long lasting friendships.
EXCHANGE NUMBERS/EMAILS: If not for chatting, at least get the number or mail of someone who shares classes with you, just in case. Maybe, when you get sick or can’t attend a lecture, they can give you a helping hand or record the class for you. You never know!
Buy a box of white stamps/labels, they will come in handy.
Write down how you feel, track it: In a notebook, in a piece of paper, in your notepad, wherever. Allow yourself to feel and write it down when it feels too overwhelming. Give yourself time to adjust, it’s a new experience!
If you want that boxset of markers and you can afford it, buy it. Treat yourself, life’s too short not to.
Continue with your hobbies. Don’t let Uni take over all aspects of your life. Sure, it’s a big thing, but try to continue your extracurricular hobbies. An hour a day, an hour a week, but don’t drop them!.
But most importantly:
ENJOY! It can be stressful and you will be busy most of the time, but ENJOY!!! It’s a new stage in your life. It’s a priviledge that you have amazing professors who share the art of what they do. Absorb all of it! Enjoy it! Study hard. Study with love and with discipline, be constant and honest, and turn into the person you dream to be, one note at a time.
Oh!! This is so long omg. I hope you find this useful! There is a lot more to say and topics to cover, but this is a general view of what I took out of my first 4 months of university. It’s different that what I imagined it would be, but there are also familiar things.
It’s a new experience, and I hope we can grow in this path together! The studyblr community has helped me a lot in this 4 months, and even before, when I was in high school. I hope I can give back a little with this long post.
Let’s have a good day, everyone!
#Long post#my post#study tips#studying#uni advice#university advice#uni tips#uni help#university tips#university help#exam tips#exam advice#tips and tricks#exam preparation#exam result#study habits#study place#ENGSTUDYBLR#ESPSTUDYBLR#social#social advice#life advice#tips#tricks#organisation#motivation#study motivation#sutyd motivator#study group#friends
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If you're still doing the writing ask game, 1, 4, 8, 12, 19, 27, 53, and 54. Sorry if that's a lot. And I really love your work, you're an amazing writer.
1. Favorite place to write.
Starbucks! Other coffee shops work too but there’s something about sitting in a starbucks and getting lost in a story
4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?
Some!
I usually sit down and write for a couple hours straight, I like to finish stories in one sitting since it keeps the flow going. This means I usually wake up early to try and start or finish something.
I usually always make coffee and then write in 25-minute intervals if I’m feeling very disciplined, then listen to music and go.
8. Favorite trope to write.
I love a good ‘unbecoming person runs into x’ adventures, like chosen one stories are cool, but I also love average schmucks saving the day. The everyman hero.
12. How do you deal with self-doubts?
good question! And... it’s tough. I’m not really sure I deal with them? I don’t stop, but I do face the constant nagging feeling I won’t be good enough. So there’s that.
I just remember that the only way out is through, that I’ll never become ‘better’ if I stop, if I give up. So while I do often say to myself ‘I’m not good enough :(’ I always add on ‘but that’s not going to stop me from continuing to write! >:)’
so, I guess just persistence in the face of constant self-doubt
19. First line of a WIP you’re working on.
From The Peacock Prince:
“This place could be beautiful.
That’s his first thought when he steps out onto the white marble stones of the path, it could be beautiful. Beautiful like a quick whiff of winter air or a glistening slick sidewalk after it rains, shiny, brilliant, almost shocking.
He slashes through the nearest vine creeping by his left foot and stomps on it, it would be beautiful. If everything here didn’t want to poison and/or eat him.
27. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished? 28. And who do you share them with
I’ve only ever shared my rough drafts with my sister, and I’ve only done once or twice, my writing process feels very personal, tho I would one day like to build up to getting a critique partner!
53. What does writing mean to you?
Writing is.... freedom and life blood and immense and like a puzzle box that never ceases to get bigger and more complicated. Writing is a good meal after you’re starving, writing is a warm bed at the end of a long day.
It’s also the howling wolf outside and the impossibly steep hill you have to climb and when you get to the top you have to climb it again. It’s a task of mostly work and only brief bright moments of reward, it’s a frustrating angry snarl in my head that’s always winding itself up and trying again. It’s both my savior and my ultimate frustration.
I love writing, it means freedom to me. Hopefully, freedom from a 9-5 job if I ever become good enough lol.
54. Any writing advice you want to share?
So much!
1. develop your capacity for empathy, both for others and yourself. You have to be kind to your characters even if they aren’t kind to themselves, people like stories where the main character is still likable despite everything.
2. Proofread. I literally hate proof reading more than anything, but nobody likes eating a half-baked cake, so just sit down and force yourself to do it. And not just proof read: REWRITE. Rewriting will save your life and make you a better writer almost every single time
3. Be yourself in your writing, don’t be afraid to try out your favorite authors writing style, but in the end writing involves sharing yourself, openly and freely. So open up, writing in your own unique voice and do writing your way. Honestly, one of the ways I became so good at dialogue is bc I realized I don’t have to write like anyone else writes it, I can write it the way I wish it was.
4. Keep your audience in mind, if your audience is just you then write it for just your tastes! But if you want a certain amount or type of attention then I recommend always writing it as if you are the reader, how would feel at each twist and turn? Is there too much info? Not enough? Pacing becomes a lot easier when you re-read from the limited perspective of a reader than as an omnipotent writer (if that makes any sense)
5. Never give up! As I said earlier, the only way out is through, it may feel like it sucks right now, but you got to suck first before it becomes good or rewarding. Keep at it!!
#Anonymous#sorry! This took me awhile to finish is all#thanks tho!#writing tips#writing advice#writing asks#ask game
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sleeping your way to the top: how to use sleep to fuel your dreams
“I've got a dream worth more than my sleep” and other quotes like it have been adopted by millennials as the catalyst for late nights fueled by energy drinks followed by caffeine-induced mornings, but is this really the best way to achieve our dreams?
We are drawn to the idea that the only pathway to success is through sacrifice, pain, and a series of trials and tribulations. It makes success sexy and alluring with a dash of exclusivity.
If achievement means throwing everything you have at something and giving up anything for it, then failure (or at least consenting to mediocrity ) must equate overindulgence and laziness making sleep and the idea of rest it’s mortal enemy.
We see The Successful as these superior humans running purely on the steam of their dreams. However, time and time again we read blurbs of celebrities who are forced to cancel shows and appearances because their bodies had simply reached their limits.
Chronic illness, obesity, reduce sex drive, and mental illness have all been linked to consistent sleep deprivation.
While hustle, sacrifice, and self-discipline are major ingredients to living the life of your dreams as with everything moderation is key and balance is a necessity.
The national sleep foundation recommends adults should aim to reach somewhere between 7-9 hours of sleep each day, in order, to promote productivity and wellness.32% of successful people go to sleep at 11pm with 28% waking at 5AM (an hour shy of the recommended time) and 22% waking at 7AM.For most of us, that means going to bed sometime around 10pm and rising between 5 to 7AM. Leaving roughly 15 to 17 of waking time to get our carpe diem on.
still, no matter what it always seems like there is never enough time in the day to accomplish all of our task nor enough sleep to provide us with the energy to complete them efficiently!
So what do we do? Neglect ourselves and recklessly pursue our dreams with fingers crossed that we don’t self-destruct? Hideaway and resolve to love only our beds and our moms for all eternity?
Not quite.
The key to mending our relationship between our dreams and sleep lies in our personal understanding of how we need to sleep then creating a sleep routine and sticking to it.
Sounds easy enough right...
Many successful people have figured out how to make sleep work for them to propel them closer to their dreams by implementing self-specific sleeping regimens.
This requires an extreme amount of self-discipline and attention to your current sleep patterns to see if they are working for or against you.
Some important questions to ask your self when mapping out your sleep plan are:
What is a realistic bedtime for me?
The best way to start mapping out your sleep is to sit down and plan out your day the night before jotting down all of your must do’s and the time it takes to accomplish them.
Having it all laid out before you can make it easier to find to time to make sleep a priority. Start with planning for 8 hours of sleep starting roughly 3 hours after your last meal of the day. Moving your time up or down based on your self-evaluation paying specific attention to how you feel each morning.
What time of day do I feel most energized?
Leveraging your peak productivity times can make a dramatic impact on your grind.
For example: if you are most active and creative at nighttime it makes no sense to force yourself to sleep at 9pm just to toss and turn for hours in bed because your brain is still wired.
Tip: doing a brain dump before bed has been shown to help quiet the restless minds of creatives in order to reach premium Zs.
Try buying a journal to place on your nightstand and before bed write out a list of task for tomorrow or simply jot down everything on your mind laying it to rest as you close the book and place it out of sight for the night until the next morning.
How do I feel when I wake up?
This question should be asked repeatedly while setting your bedtime. All sleep in not created equally and the quality of your sleep is important. Poor quality can leave you feeling sluggish even after a full 8 hours.
How often do I wake up during the night?
Waking repeatedly during the night is a sure sign that you are not getting your best sleep.
tip: if you wake up during the middle of the night and are unable to fall asleep after 10-15 mins that light exercise or activity could help you get resettled.
You may also consider using a journal to write down any ideas that come to you at night to be revisited when you wake.
Is my sleeping space sacred?
Sleep researcher Shawn Stevenson, states that your bedroom should be a sanctuary for sleep. Setting you bedroom to around 68 degrees is optimal, keeping it dark as possible, and keeping electronics far away are some of his suggestions you can read the full article on 21 health sleep habits here.
I, personally, use sleep sounds to get in the mood to snooze accompanied by my trusty diffuser,
I’m sure by now your thinking wtf Jade!
if I don’t have time to get everything I need done what makes you think I have time to conduct a multi-step sleep analysis on myself and develop a sleep regimen?
Listen, love, I know you have places to go and people to see (or do depending on what you are into ) but You have to make sleep a priority.
Although sleep can seem like a waste of time, it is responsible for a wide range of processes that help us concentrate on important tasks and make sound decisions. It is a vital part of your health regimen akin to eating healthy and working out regularly. There is no reason to ever feel like your racing toward success; be patient with yourself and enjoy the process.
At the end of the day, you have to decide if it is more important to complete a lot of things haphazardly and in a fog or to put forth your best work and crush your goals like a boss?
#sleep sleepsmarter rest#motivation girlboss entrepreneur habitsofhighlysuccessfulpeople#success#business#selflove#selfcare#selfishblog#jlselfish#mentalhealth#health#wellness#yoga#diffuser#meditation#passion#creative#influencer#contentcreator#youtuber
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The Beginning
I am starting this blog post out sitting in my bed, under the sheets, earphones in and half watching Game of Thrones and half wondering what am I actually doing with my life. I have been reading a friends blog (jessicamiller.me.uk) and have been inspired, inspired to start my ‘life’ (I cringe when writing that but this is what we’re here for) I am an over-weight twenty year old living for, what?
Nothing.
It’s a terrifying concept to those who aren’t in your brain. It’s not like I want to sit around and do nothing all day although some days it does seem like the best option. I want to live, I want to see things, travel, take any opportunity to just inhale, tilt my head back as wind, rain, sun or snow messes my hair and cups my face and feel like I’m actually living. How does someone do that? Does anybody ever feel like they are living, other than just being an ok lung-breather? Is it ok to feel like this at the young age of twenty or is it only in the world of Hollywood does this happen and it’s not at all reality?
I don’t feel as if I have the courage or the strength to even begin to start living but I’m going to try at least! There’s not many things I finish or even start to be honest, I hope I finish this. My twenty years on this planet have quite frankly been wasted and I won’t stand for it any longer.
I am dying to live.
I have lists upon lists of things I need to do, places I want to see and pieces of clothing I want to wear. I suppose we’ll see how I do. I can’t carry on doing what I’m doing because it’s taking me nowhere and it’s making me lonely. I feel as if I’m only here in ghost form I’m not special, I’m nothing wonderful I am simply, human. I’d like to be a better one for myself.
I’ve researched how to become a better human being and I keep reading and reading, shaking my head as if ‘these can’t apply to me!’ I really need to stop thinking I am God’s gift to this planet anyway back to the research, for skin care and body care it’s basically drink water, eat healthier foods, do exercise and get good sleep. I’d like to think I do at least half of them (I don’t). Sometimes I’ll eat a salad and think “This is easy! Simple and so tasty, I’m detoxing and my body will love me!” however the sun rises on another day and I still dislike myself. People very rarely tell you about the long amount of time it takes for you become slightly healthier, within yourself and on the outside too. It takes bloody ages but we need to begin somewhere and I believe it’s worth the time to get there. I have even started doing a bullet journal, another idea I stole from Jess, I have seen some improvement of time management I just get down heartened by how ugly it is and how unartistic I am but I need to remind myself ‘it’s not about looking pretty, it’s what’s on the inside.’ (Aaand I’m cringing again, deep breaths) Perhaps I’m just bored or a boring human being. How many people get bored easily? I know that’s a big reason of why I stop doing things so quickly because everything takes time and how much is there in a day? Not enough I say! (Frankly that’s only my point of view because I sit in a dull bedroom watching some television show to fill the hours, I’m sure if I put more effort into my life I’d find a lot more time to enjoy... things?) I lack discipline! I like self control and I want things now now now!! A part of growing up privileged I suppose, the whole world is simply to big for my tiny bean brain to fathom and I simply shut off whenever opportunities come my way and pretend I never wanted to do them anyway because I’m faaar to cool to do anything at all (cool people only sit on their laptop, gawking at every hot person that passes along their screen and occasionally remembers to drink water, obviously).
I used to think the person of my dreams would pick me up from my dark pit and lift me up into light (with shaking arms and wobbling knees) and show me everything I have been dreaming for however life isn’t a fairy tale, it’s not a television show or happy ending book. It’s real, it’s scary and it’s lonesome especially when you’ve wired your brain into thinking things will be ok once somebody loves you. I’m pretty sure you need to get outside at least a couple of minutes a week (month) to socialise, the person of your dreams won’t exactly knock on your door and say “Wow, you’re so beautiful and your complexion is to die for, be mine forever!?” Oh and they’re attractive to you and get your weird sense of humour, that happens I’m sure so I’ll just carry on waiting by the window until one day I fall out of it. I have to be my own strength to start living. It would be irresponsible of me to ask someone else to start my life for me, they’d only do it wrong.
So this is the beginning of the start of my living. Every experience I will shake, sorry it’s not exactly a habit yet, NOD my head, slap a smile on my face and try it and in the mean time, I’ll be listening to Lily Allen’s album and bursting with excitement to get on the whole ‘life’ thing.
Until then, stay safe and love freely.
CDL
#lifestyle#the start#blog#post#blogpost#girl#textpost#text#article#life#20 year old#please read#reading#read#blog post#follow me#love#live#living#new start#new me#me#inside my head#humour#funny#life of cdl#cdl#theflavouryellow
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hey everyone, i’m going to be honest here, you will never get rid of procrastination completely. unless i’m wrong, and there may be some possible way to completely get rid of procrastination. if so, i don’t think anyone has figured it out.
anywho, i’ve been procrastinating for years, so i feel like i have some decent tips on how to procrastinate less. here’s my advice!
1. focus on your discipline the most. your discipline skills are your biggest defense against procrastination. there will be times in your life where you just DON’T want to finish your essay, we’ve all been there. you need good discipline to get you in focus. stop thinking about all of those distracting concepts that pull you into procrastination, and start doing your work.
2. you need to keep the good motivation to fight procrastination. it ties along with #1, except motivation is more long term. if you want to accomplish your goals, you get the discipline needed to work for them.
3. try to find time around the day to do some work, especially at school. i do school work at lunch, and sometimes in the morning, as well as occasionally in class if i have free time, since i don’t have a study hall. it helps since it feels like you have less work to do during your normal studying times.
4. remember, doing a little bit of work for a big assignment is better than ditching it completely. if you get a project on the first day, and only manage to do 1/5 of it on that day, it really is better than not doing it at all. you might thank yourself later. try really hard to at least do ONE thing on any work you get on the first day.
5. multitask if more than one assignment correlates with another. if you have a history worksheet and a history test coming up, use the worksheet to review concepts when you need to study. i do this often, and it helps me more than just doing the worksheet. this might not help others though, and that’s fine too! if you can only focus on one thing at a time, you do your thing.
6. i cannot stress this enough, find any good time management that works for you. one popular option is the pomodoro technique (25 minutes of working with a 5-minute break. i’ve heard of other options as well, from 20 → 10, 40 → 20, and even 52 → 17. if you’re not into routines, at least take a break for 5-10 minutes whenever you feel mentally exhausted! just not every 5 minutes, trust me, that leads to procrastination after the second or third “break”.
7. use your “break” time (from #6) doing something relaxing and NOT distracting. unless you have godly discipline skills, i doubt going on your phone will cause you to get back to work properly. take a small walk, eat a snack, stretch, etc.
8. use those app/program blockers to block social media and messaging apps if you’re like me and you have severely weak discipline skills. nothing much will happen while you’re busy doing your work. if something does occur, that’s up to you to find out when you’re done with your work.
9. find a good place to actually do your work! my favorite is the library, it’s so peaceful and it gives the right setting for studying. try your best to study in the least distracting place possible. if you can’t, attempt to decrease as many distractions in your location as possible.
10. find what works for you in terms of listening to music. i personally listen to kpop, and some of us know how catchy the music can be. however, i can usually listen to kpop while doing worksheets without getting distracted. however, if i’m studying, retaking notes, reading, etc. i need ambient music (i mainly use rainymood.com!) to make me concentrate. some of us need instrumentals and/or ambient music, others can’t listen to music at all. that’s fine!
11. turn off your notifications, turn on airplane mode, put away your phone, etc. do anything that works for you. i need my phone as well as internet, so i just turn off my notifications, but not seeing any distractions might make you more likely to do your work.
12. plan things out when you get home. i personally cannot do my work first thing when i get home unlike some people, i get too mentally drained from school! i take a shower, and then eat lunch while doing my work. find out what works for you. i also cannot do the hardest assignment first to “get it out of the way”. i need a medium level assignment to prepare myself for the heavy mental work for the hard assignments!
13. as referring to #12, if one advice doesn’t work for you, don’t use it! we are all different, so if practically everyone you know can do one thing, and you’re better doing the opposite of that, just do what makes you better at productivity.
14. plan out big projects, quizzes, tests, etc. do not cram! i repeat! please! do not cram! it doesn’t feel good at all, and you’re more likely to score worse anyways. try to balance out your work/studying every day or a couple days a week with a good amount of time for all of those days. it helps your memorization more, too.
15. some say that studying in a different place once in a while helps. i personally never tried this, because my brain cares more about adaptation, but it has helped other people i know!
16. get comfortable when you study, but not too comfortable. don’t study on your bed, and please don’t study on the floor. your brain thinks of your bed as the place to sleep, so it’s best to not be on your bed often unless it’s for sleeping. for me at least, studying on the floor really kills my back. please get comfortable and find a table or desk or anything good!
17. another thing i do is that i switch assignments if i feel like i’m not focused. it helps me a lot, i would assume it lets my brain change focus to another productive activity which results in me gaining focus on something important!
18. do anything productive if you have a long break (or if you’re procrastinating haha). it gets your brain in a productive mood and it can help you focus when you go back to your work.
19. reward yourself for whatever bit of work you accomplish. my favorite rewards are my biggest distractions that i look forward to when i finish all of my work. :”)
20. take your free time away to do some extra work every once in a while. it certainly helps not to cram everything in one day.
21. please remember that it takes some, if not a lot of time to improve a habit like procrastination. you will not improve completely in one night. and sometimes, you will procrastinate, and that’s okay! just keep improving yourself, you have time.
22. if you’re looking for a reason or a sign not to procrastinate right now, this is it. tumblr can be such a distraction. you probably have something important to do. and i’m here to tell you to get back to work and finish what you need to do.
#i had to repost this because the picture was zoomed in on mobile ?? silly tumblr#mine#my advice posts#studyblr#studyspo#sootudying#tbhstudying#studyquill#lookheretay#gloomstudy#chrissiestudies#charlenestudies#equaticns#emmastudies#intellectys#athenastudying#mart-studies#studypetals#jiyeonstudies#hufflepuffwannabe#sensiblestudy#mochistudie#sojustudies#potterstudy#studyfanatik#itshannyb#confetti-studies#skystudies#study-at-the-disco#sirenestudies
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