#my anxiety skyrocketed! and i don’t have the need

[soopersu]

guys i’m gonna have a break! i got some very rude anons this morning and i don’t think i deserve it when all i’m trynna do is have a fun time. i’ll check in from time to time for dreamquest as i don’t want to ruin everyone else’s experience by pulling out my two girls, but that pretty much it for now <3

[lesbiansanemi]

I have started to accept I am a bit more (re a lot more) psychologically unstable than I thought for a long time and man…. I’m tired of it

[mycological-mariner]

Pros of trying to get a job in a small town: establishments will literally just print out “HELP WANTED. INQUIRE INSIDE (or leave number at bar)” and tape it to the front window and you just can.

Cons of getting a job in a small town:

If you don’t get the job, literally everyone will know and you can never go to that bar again

[snowballseal]

Tipsy Tricks

Sylus X Reader

Summary: You and Sylus agree to focus on work for a little bit, meaning you don't have time to see each other. That is...until you get a panicked call from the twins saying their boss is drunk and needs someone to cuddle with.

Word Count: 1836

Note: FLUFF - Sylus is drunk, but honestly, I feel like he can handle his alcohol well so he does a bit of acting. It's all just to get your attention and he's a little more clingy. Also, Luke and Kieran my beloveds.

---

“Miss, we need your help!”

You blink at the sudden shout that comes through your phone the moment you answer it.

“Luke?”

“Please Miss! Boss is not acting himself!”

“Kieran? Wait- hold on, just-”

“Ah! We’re too late!”

“Please Miss, come save us!”

You blink again as the call ends just as abruptly.

What the-?

You stare at the now dark screen for a long moment, just trying to process what happened. It’s late, late enough that you’re already dressed in your pajamas and winding down in bed. The last thing you were expecting was to get such a panicked call from Luke and Kieran.

What were they even talking about? Why do they need saving? Is something wrong with Sylus?

The thought wedges into your chest like a thorn, sharp and uncomfortable. You hadn’t heard from the Onychinus leader - your lover - in a few days due to his busy schedule. Neither of you liked it, but you agreed it was best he just focus on work, and you’d do the same to keep yourself occupied.

Getting a call like this only makes your anxiety skyrocket.

You don’t even bother wasting the time to change, throwing a coat over your pajamas and snatching your keys as you hurdle out the door. 

---

“Miss!!! Oh you’ve come to save us, thank you!”

Luke and Kieran throw the door open before your knuckles even touch it. You jump back, chest heaving from having run all the way from the transport station. They look just as frazzled, well, as frazzled as two men in masks can look. 

“What’s wrong? Is Sylus okay? Why are you guys freaking out?” You shoot out questions quickly, grabbing one of the twins by the shoulders. “You guys were infuriatingly cryptic over the phone! Seriously, who calls in the middle of the night like that?”

“We’re sorry,” Luke leans in, trying to rescue his brother from your vicious grip, “We just didn’t know what to do. Boss hardly ever gets like this!”

“He kept talking about you so we figured you could help us,” Kieran insists, ducking away with the help of his brother.

“Okay, but what’s wrong? Is he hurt?” You press for more details, concern only growing. “What happened to make him act weird?”

“He’s drunk.”

…

Your jaw shuts with an audible click, going tense as you stare at them incredulously. Seriously? All of this, all of the panic, the urgency, because Sylus got drunk? You take a deep, slow breath, trying to ease the immediate desire to knock their heads together.

“Let me get this straight. You’re telling me that you called me. In the middle of the night. After I had settled down for bed. Screaming bloody murder over the phone. Because Sylus had too much to drink?”

“...yes.”

“That’s right.”

You close your eyes. Another deep breath. Slowly, the panic that had washed over you recedes, leaving a sliver of irritation and amusement. You really should expect nothing less from them.

“Okay,” you sigh and prop your hands on your hips. The two seem to relax, like they had actually expected you to smack them. Which you might have, if they hadn’t sounded truly distressed earlier. “So why is this such a bad thing? Sylus is an adult, he can handle being a little drunk, but you two are acting like the world is ending. Why?”

“Well you see-”

“Boss gets incredibly physical when he’s drunk-”

“Not in a violent way-”

“Unless he’s around people he doesn’t like.”

“Right.”

You blink slowly at them, “...so?”

“It’s scary!” Kieran crows.

“It’s like having a kodiak bear trying to give you a hug!” Luke adds, curling his fingers in a gesture you’re sure is meant to mimic said bear.

“We love the boss, but we can’t handle him like this.”

“And he kept asking for you! So we called.”

Ah.

You take a moment to really process all of it. Sylus is drunk. Sylus is a touchy drunk…

It’s too good to pass up on

“Alright, boys,” you hum, an excited grin slowly spreading across your lips. You clap both of them gently on the shoulder. “I’ll take it from here. You can go hide wherever you usually do.”

“Thank you, Miss.”

“We knew calling you was the right decision. Please take care of our boss.”

“I’ll do my best.”

The twins skitter off as soon as you let them go, leaving you alone in the foyer. You quietly slip your coat off, hanging it up properly before making your way further into the base. Not knowing exactly where Sylus could be, you check all the obvious places. The bar. His bedroom. The kitchen. All of which are empty.

Finally you come to the den. Each step makes your heart race a little quicker, the thick silence putting you on edge. A drunk person shouldn’t be so hard to find. But as you step into the room, looking over every nook and cranny (despite how large the man in question is), you once again find it empty.

Where on earth could he be?

“My, my, a kitten’s wandered into my home.” You nearly jump out of your skin when an arm curls around your waist, drawing you back against a solid chest. The familiar warmth of his touch is like a balm to your nerves. You glance over your shoulder, gaze meeting a pair of sleepy vermillion eyes, their depths hazy and dark. “You broke our agreement, sweetie.”

You bite back a smile, “Maybe I wouldn’t have had to if a certain someone hadn’t gotten tipsy and scared the boys.”

Sylus huffs, his face dipping to nuzzle into the crook of your neck in an uncharacteristically soft show of affection. His breath is dizzyingly warm against your skin, his nose tracing featherlight along the column of your throat, like he’s breathing you in. It makes you feel dizzy. You clutch onto his arm to anchor yourself, breath hitching when his lips press tenderly against your racing pulse. 

“I’ve missed you.” 

The words are a mere whisper, the sound rumbling through his chest, so deep you can feel it with how his body leans into yours. You let out a shuddering breath, eyes flickering shut.

“I missed you too, Sy.”

So much. You didn’t want to admit to yourself just how much his absence had been wearing you down. Little by little until you could feel the gaping emptiness, like a stream carving a canyon. You were homesick. And it makes your heart flutter to know he felt the same.

“How about we sit, huh?” You suggest softly, and his arms tighten. Turning your head, despite the awkward angle, you press a reassuring kiss to his silvery locks, “I’m not going anywhere, love. I can’t support your weight much longer, though.”

Seemingly appeased, Sylus lets out an understanding hum. In a puff of black smoke, you find yourself settled on the couch, your back pressed into the soft leather with Sylus laying on top of you, his arms still curled around your waist, head resting on your chest. He nuzzles into you like a cat, letting out a long, drawn out sigh.

It’s adorable really. And jarring. While Sylus has never shied away from being affectionate, it’s always been in his rough, teasing way. This feels tender. Vulnerable. While you were originally planning to tease him to no end, you find yourself overwhelmed with a gentle kind of adoration for the man, your fingers softly fussing with his hair.

“You know, I think I like this side of you.”

“Hmmm, is that so?” Sylus mumbles sleepily, his eyes barely open as he gazes up at your face.

“Yah,” you breathe, tracing the relaxed line of his brow, fingers skimming down his cheek to brush the corner of his lips, “You’re acting so cute and docile. Maybe I should start calling you kitten.”

Even sleepy Sylus won’t let that stand. The second your fingers graze his lips, he nips at them, not enough to hurt, but enough to make you snatch them back, inhaling sharply. Heat curls in your chest, matching the heat burning behind his gaze as he flashes you that lazy yet dangerous smile.

“Don’t mistake my affection for passivity, sweetie,” he rumbles, pushing himself up just enough to graze his lips against yours, the smell of expensive alcohol and his rich cologne clouding your senses. “You should be more wary of a man when his restraints are loose. There’s no telling what he might do once you fall for his trap.”

Ah. You hold back a giggle, eyes narrowing up at him with mirth. So that’s what this was all about.

“Trap, huh? Is that what this was? Did you get tipsy and scare the twins on purpose so they’d call me?”

Sylus doesn’t look ashamed for even a second, offering a nonchalant shrug. The way his ears go red, though, tells you that you’ve hit the nail on the head.

“Aw, you did all that just cause you missed me?” Reaching up, you loop your arms around Sylus’ shoulders and draw him even closer. Your lips brush his as you murmur, “You could have just called, pretty bird.”

“And what fun would that be?” Sylus tilts his head, eyes flickering down to your lips. 

He wants to kiss you breathless, the sensation of your lips ghosting against his driving his already muddled thoughts wild. The way you look under him, hair a mess, dressed in such cute pajamas, is a perfectly tempting image, but it’s the fact that he can’t quite think straight that makes him hold back. While getting drunk was certainly a good way to get you here, it was not conducive to anything else he might want.

And simply having you by his side is enough.

You sigh as Sylus presses a sweet kiss to your lips. Unlike most of your kisses, this one isn’t about passion or hunger. Intense, yes, but intense in a way that feels like devotion. It’s reverent and slow, leaving a lingering hum under your skin as he draws away.

“Will you stay?”

Fondly, you rub your nose against his ever so slightly, “Of course.”

“Good.”

Sylus lowers himself back into you, face nuzzling into the crook of your neck. Your arms loop around him, fingers going back to his hair. The silence that envelops you is comforting, the only sound being that of your mingled breath. His warmth covers you so completely, you can’t help but relax, eyelids growing heavier with each second that ticks by. Sylus’ breathing steadily grows deeper, lulling you further and further into sleep. Until you slip under, your lips pressed to his temple as you fall asleep.

And that’s how Luke and Kieran find you the next morning. Cuddled up, with their boss curled around you protectively, like two lounging cats.

You wake up to a notification on your phone.

The picture immediately becomes your new background.

(And secretly, Sylus also makes it his, too.)

---

Hope you enjoyed, my lovely fishies!!!

[sumnthingabouther]

⋆·˚ ༘ * boss! Abby x subordinate! fem! reader

nsfw towards the end

cw: slightly obsessive abby, implied inappropriate activity in a workplace. men and minors dni

Now you didn’t know this but Abby always had eyes for you, ever since you first joined the company a year and some months ago. initially you weren’t under her division, having been under someone else in the finance department. Meaning she had to watch you from afar. But god did she love it when she caught you in the morning. Your slightly tired face while you held your leather binder tightly in your arms. The way you shuffled to the elevator in your almost barely work appropriate skirts. One time you had made the mistake of bending over in front of her. Accidently bumping into her in the early morn as you were making your way to your cubicle, causing all your papers to scatter across the ground. Apologies fell from your mouth profusely while work to get your fallen papers off the ground.

“Its all good, here let me help you with that.” The offer came from a genuine place, however when she saw you bent over in that extremely short skirt, a flip in her switched. After helping you she watched you scurry away, a smirk plastered across her face. God how she wished she could get a view like that again.

She spent months remembering your schedule, what time you got to work. what time you got lunch. what time you clocked out. Everything…. in a non creepy way of course she just wanted to see more of you. As time went on she began to grow antsy , simply knowing your schedule wasn’t enough for her anymore she wanted to keep a close eye on you. Eventually, she had some strings pulled getting you to transfer under her. It was better this way, she needed to keep an eye on you.

You never knew why you got transferred over to her so suddenly, but the position you were offered was much higher than your previous one and the pay was so much better. You took it with no second thought. Plus you were already well acquainted with Anderson, working under her would be a breeze. Or so you thought.

You began to notice how she would hover over you, initially you thought it was her making sure you were adjusting properly. “Just making sure you’re doing okay, don’t be afraid to step by my office if you need anything.” Then came the passive aggressive attitude towards your coworkers that got a little to got to close to you. Noticing how she scowled and folded her arms that flexed under her dress shirt when they walked away. “She can handle that just fine, if she needed your help she would’ve asked.”

Then came the day you dreaded, getting called into her office out of nowhere. your anxiety skyrocketed as you made your way down the hallway, heels clacking against the cold ceramic floor. Your hand hovered over the door knob of her office door, taking a breath before opening it. Abby welcomed you in, the tone of her voice was surprisingly soft which made you relax a bit, and to your surprise she spoke highly of you.

“As much as i love praising you, lets cut to the chase.” her tone immediately dark. fuck here it comes, you were so getting fired. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Wait huh? Abby shot up from her desk, she was circling you now with a dangerous glint in her eyes.

“E..excuse me? Ms. Anderson-” “Abby is fine,” she interrupted. “—and you heard me clearly, you’re a smart girl aren’t you? You can put two and two together.” She was taunting you now, and as much as you tried to hide it, it turned you on so bad.

“Now do me a favor doll, and lock my door for me.”

[rainandandy]

Watching the Abyss

Summary: You, Andy, Tyler and Bjorn enter the decommisioned spacecraft to find the cryofuel but Bjorn can't hold his anger against your girlfriends synthetic brother.

Pairing: Rain Carradine X GN! Reader

Warnings: Violence, strong language, angst

Word Count: 805

A/N: My requests for Rain Carradine are open! Just send me an ask

Rain sat on the edge of her seat; her eyes fixed on the video comms screen in the shuttle. The flickering feed showed you, Andy, Tyler, and Bjorn moving cautiously through the dimly lit corridors of the decommissioned space station. Every nerve in her body was taut with anxiety, her heart pounding as the shadowy figures of the team moved deeper into the unknown.

Navarro was at the comms desk, her fingers flying over the controls as she adjusted the feed. Kay stood beside Rain, her brow furrowed in concern. “You okay, Rain?” Kay asked softly, sensing the storm of emotions brewing just beneath Rain’s calm exterior.

“Bjorn’s pushing Andy too hard,” Rain replied, her voice clipped with tension. “I don’t like how he’s treating him. Just because Andy’s a synthetic doesn’t mean he’s expendable.”

Kay glanced at Navarro, who was listening quietly but didn’t turn from her work. “Bjorn’s parents were trapped in the mines by a synthetic,” Kay explained gently. “It was a calculated decision to save more lives, but they didn’t make it out. Bjorn… he’s never forgiven synthetics for that.”

Rain’s hands clenched into fists. “That doesn’t give him the right to treat Andy like this. He’s part of our team, and he’s my—” She hesitated, swallowing the lump in her throat. “He’s my brother.”

As they watched, Bjorn shoved Andy roughly aside, barking at him to hurry up and open the next door. Andy complied without complaint, his expression blank, but Rain could see the tension in his movements.

“Bjorn, cut it out,” Your voice crackled over the comms, firm but calm. You stepped between Andy and Bjorn, your body language protective. “He’s doing his job, just like the rest of us.”

“Stay out of this,” Bjorn snapped, his face twisted with anger. “He’s a machine, nothing more. If he gets fried, who cares? We can always find another one.”

Rain’s heart lurched in her chest. “Please, don’t,” she whispered to you, as if her words could reach across the void between them.

But you didn’t back down. “I care,” you said fiercely. “And you’re not laying a hand on him.”

The tension in the room skyrocketed as Bjorn’s face darkened with rage. Without warning, he lashed out, shoving you hard against the wall. The video feed flickered as the comms picked up the sound of the scuffle. Rain’s breath caught in her throat as she watched you try to hold your ground, but Bjorn was stronger, fuelled by years of pent-up resentment.

Andy moved forward, his voice calm but urgent. “Bjorn, stop. This isn’t helping anyone. We need to work together.”

“Shut the fuck up, tin can,” Bjorn snarled, raising an electronic bat, the same kind that could fry Andy’s circuits with a single hit. He turned his glare on you. “And you, stay out of my way, or I’ll take you down too.”

Rain’s vision blurred with a mix of anger and fear. She couldn’t just sit here and watch. “Navarro, patch me through. Now!” she ordered, her voice trembling.

Navarro quickly opened a channel. “You’re live,” she said, her tone serious.

“Bjorn, that’s enough!” Rain’s voice rang out, echoing through the comms. “Back off, or so help me, I’ll—”

Bjorn froze at the sound of her voice, his grip tightening on the bat. For a moment, it looked like he might relent, but then he sneered. “You’re not here, Rain. You can’t do shit.”

Bleeding from a gash on your forehead, you don’t move away. “Rain, it’s okay,” you said, your voice strained but steady. “I’ve got this.”

Tyler suddenly appeared in the frame, stepping between them. “That’s enough, Bjorn,” he said, his voice commanding. “We’re here to get the cryopod fuel and get out. We don’t have time for this.”

Bjorn hesitated, his anger still simmering, but he finally lowered the bat. “Fine,” he spat, glaring at Andy one last time before storming off towards the next door.

Rain let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding, her body sagging with relief. She whispered your name, her heart aching as she watched her partner wipe the blood from their face, your eyes flickering towards the camera as if you could sense Rain’s gaze.

“I’m okay, Rain,” you said softly, your voice reaching out across the distance. “We’ll get through this. Just hold on.”

Navarro and Kay exchanged a glance, their concern for Rain evident. But Rain didn’t care about them right now. All she could think about was getting you and Andy back safely.

“Just come back to me,” Rain whispered, her voice barely audible as tears welled up in her eyes.

As the team moved deeper into the station, the fight fading into the past, Rain sat back, her heart still pounding. This mission was far from over.

[hannahbarberra162]

Under The Microscope, Part 4

on Ao3 18+ MDNI

Links to the other parts

Your hands were violently shaking and your heart was racing in your chest. If Sabo didn’t want money and he didn’t want you for your scientific research, why did he want you at all? You didn’t think he wanted to kill you, he probably would have done that already and not wasted supplies on you. Someone like him didn’t need someone like you for romance, he could have anyone he wanted. Not knowing your purpose made your anxiety skyrocket. Sabo’s eyes flicked to your shaking hands. He reached out and held them in his own gloved ones, keeping them still. 

“Don’t be upset. Nothing will happen to you. I didn’t take you out of that base to harm you.” He spoke to you in a soft tone, like he was gentling an animal. Even though you’d had the same thought yourself, it didn’t make you feel any better hearing it from Sabo. The boat started rocking a little, bringing back your nausea. But you powered through, you wanted some answers only Sabo could provide.

“I don’t - I don’t understand. Why did you take me then?” You tried pulling your hands from his but Sabo didn’t let go. He gripped your hands even tighter, looking you in the eyes.

“I told you. They don’t deserve you. They didn’t value you or take care of you. So I will.” The blood drained out of your face as you realized Sabo had never been joking. He had been serious the entire time, thinking that you were some inept fool who couldn’t take care of yourself. The thought made your face hot with humiliation as his stare bored into your face.

“They did value me. I liked being a Marine,” you rebutted weakly, looking away from his intense stare. You weren’t lying, there were some parts of being a Marine that you’d liked.

“No, they didn’t. You don’t have to be a Revolutionary, but you’re not going back.” You looked away, face getting hotter still. What did he know about you? Your ambitions, your dreams? How could he say with certainty that you’d want to be with your captor and his army? Sabo brought your hand to his face and kissed the back of your hand, breaking you out of your thoughts. His warm lips lingered a bit too long on your skin, like he was savoring the moment. “Try not to worry, it’s not good for your health.” You almost let out a hysterical laugh - worrying was not good for your health? What about being drugged and kidnapped against your will? You yanked your hands back from Sabo.

“So, that’s it then? You’re keeping me at the Revolutionary Army HQ for the rest of my life?” you hissed at him. Sabo was contemplative but still looking at your shaking hands, not upset in the slightest.

“Probably not the rest of your life, we’re going to overthrow the World Government soon enough. Plans might change once we do,” Sabo replied evenly. This time a hysterical laugh did escape from you. He didn’t seem bothered by how upset you were, which was in stark contrast to his tender care of you during the previous days, fretting over your every need. Your stomach lurched again.

“I want my clothes back,” you said in a quiet but angry voice. You didn’t want to be wearing Sabo’s clothes anymore. They smelled and were soaked in sweat but you also wanted to regain a sense of self. You were a Marine, no matter what Sabo thought he could do to you. 

Sabo’s POV

“Oh, they’re gone. I burned them,” Sabo said, still staring at you. He agreed you needed to change clothes, but you’d only be wearing his. At least until you got to the first stopping point tomorrow. Then unfortunately he’d have to provide you with something more substantial to wear. You paled with Sabo’s last statement. Sabo didn’t want to upset you but he needed you to understand in no uncertain terms that your engagement with the Marines was over. Permanently. “I can give you something else to wear, if you’d like. I imagine you want to change after a few days wearing the same thing.” You didn’t answer, Sabo could tell you were thinking over all his words. Still, he got up and went to his trunk, rummaging around for something you could wear. He found a short sleeved tunic he hadn’t worn in months. He grabbed it as well as a fresh towel and washcloth, handing them to you. “Would you like a shower?” He could tell that it caught your interest.

“Yes, please,” you said, taking the bundle from him quickly. You looked ill again, like you were shortly going to be nauseous. Even so, Sabo had noted that your bouts of seasickness were getting farther apart. Maybe you’d be able to go to the top deck by the end of the afternoon.

“Follow me, it’s not attached to this room. It’s communal so let me check first to make sure no one’s in there.” You hesitated, clutching the bundle to your chest. Sabo put his hand on the back of your neck, bringing you warmth once more. “You’re safe,” he stated. “I’ll be with you the whole time.”

“W-what?” you looked at him in shock and tried to shift his hand off of you. Sabo raised an eyebrow and kept his arm in place. 

“You’ve been sick for two days and had to have multiple bags of IV fluids. I can stay right outside the shower door but I’m not going any farther than that.” You looked at him angrily, almost like he betrayed you, and tried handing him back the towel, moving his arm off your neck.

“I don’t want to shower.” Sabo contemplated his choices for a moment. He could force you, could make you shower with him in the room. But that would destroy everything he worked so hard to build. He looked at your face, which was getting paler by the moment. He shifted tactics, gently pushing your hand holding the towel back to you.

“I’ll make a deal with you. If you don’t vomit in the next five minutes, I’ll let you shower completely alone,” Sabo bargained. You looked at him suspiciously but your eyes flicked to the towel in your hands. Sabo knew he’d won this round.

“Ok. But if I don’t throw up, I’ll be alone in the shower? Completely? You won’t be outside the shower door?” Sabo nodded solemnly.

“Absolutely.” You huffed and sat down on the bed. Sabo wasn’t a betting man, but in this case, he wasn’t worried. He watched you clutch at the towel so hard your knuckles were white. You tried closing your eyes and laying back on the bed. None of it helped. You made it two two and a half minutes before he handed you a bucket. By three minutes, you’d vomited. Sabo came up behind you and moved your hair out of your face. He put a warm hand between your shoulder blades after you’d finished, stroking your exhausted muscles tenderly. He was sure you didn’t realize, but once he’d put his hand on your back, you inhaled a deep breath, relaxing a little. Sabo smiled to himself.

“You see? What if this happened in the shower and you were alone? Or if you passed out again? I’m not doing this to be intrusive, I don’t think you can be by yourself right now.” You didn’t reply, just wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, eyes still closed. If Sabo wanted to be intrusive, he would shower with you, he thought. He certainly wanted to. 

“Yeah, I guess,” you said glumly. Sabo dropped it, not needing to prove his point any further. After a moment, you opened your eyes and swung your feet over the bed. 

“Let’s get this over with,” you grumbled.

Your POV

You didn’t want Sabo with you, but you desperately wanted a shower. Maybe it would help you feel like a human being again. He led you to the bathroom, holding the door open for you to enter. You wondered when he’d drop the gentleman routine, he behaved like some noble or something. You fiddled with the towel in your hands.

“Can I at least undress by myself? It…I won’t take long.” Sabo nodded, he hadn’t even entered the bathroom yet. 

“Of course, knock on the door when you’re done. If I don’t hear from you in a few minutes, I’m going to come in.” You were grateful you’d have some privacy, even if it was temporary. Sabo closed the door and you stripped quickly, wrapping the large towel around yourself. You started the shower, waiting for the water to get hot, then knocked on the door. Sabo cracked open the door.

“Ready for me?” he asked. You didn’t answer, just pulled the door open even further. You weren’t ready for him , you were ready for the shower. You felt exposed by wearing so little near him, but you’d lost the bet. The water was steaming so you wanted to get in quickly before the hot water ran out. You opened the wooden shower door, grateful that it would obscure some of your body. Sabo would be able to see you from the calf down and the top of your head, but that was no big deal. You threw the towel to hang over the door and started rinsing the accumulated grime off your body. The hot water was almost too warm for you but you enjoyed the sensation, getting lost in the momentary reprieve from stress and anxiety. 

Someone had left some pleasant smelling soap, shampoo, and conditioner in the shower, the familiar scent of sandalwood and jasmine entering your nose. Where had you smelled it before? You didn’t really care, it was nice enough. Your hair was so tangled, you didn’t think you’d ever be able to get a comb through it again. You tried starting with the ends but you gave up and just threw conditioner in there while you scrubbed your body with the washcloth. Maybe you’d leave it in there and wash it out in the room sink later. You spent a few minutes zoning out and washing, thinking about nothing.

“Everything OK?” Sabo asked. You almost jumped, he had been so quiet you’d forgotten he was there while you enjoyed the water. 

“Y-yeah.” You didn’t want to engage Sabo in conversation while you were still naked. You figured he was telling you to turn off the water, so you rinsed your hair quickly, leaving some of the conditioner in. You were hoping it would work like a leave-in, allowing you to detangle later. Shutting off the shower, you grabbed the towel over the door and wrapped yourself up. You opened the door and saw Sabo leaning against the wall. It wasn’t a large bathroom, you weren’t sure where he’d go when you were changing. But you didn’t even have to ask before Sabo left, telling you to come out when you were done. You tried rinsing off the sudsy washcloth in the sink, but it had cracked, making it non functional. 

After Sabo brought you back to your room, you crawled into the bed. You hadn’t done much but you were exhausted. You wrapped your hair in a towel, you’d deal with it later. You snuggled into the pillow, inhaling deeply. Ah. There was the familiar smell. You’d used Sabo’s toiletries. Well, it was nice that he left them for you. Drifting off to sleep, you hoped you’d get a few hours of rest before the nausea returned. 

You woke up confused. The sun was low in the sky, had you slept all day? You were feeling better, you thought you were mostly done with the seasickness since it was nearly day three. Getting out of the bed, you walked around the cabin, surveying what was there. Sabo was right, this was a small boat without much on it. You knew he’d locked you in before, but out of curiosity you tested the doorknob. It turned. Maybe Sabo had forgotten to lock you in after your shower? Or maybe this was a test to see what you would do? You gnawed on your bottom lip, unsure what to do. Surely he wouldn’t be mad at you for leaving the room, it was his own fault it wasn’t locked. On the other hand, you didn’t really know Sabo at all. Maybe this would set him off and you’d be burned to bits. Deciding to take a risk, you turned the knob slowly, trying to be as quiet as possible. You opened the door, peeking out to see if anyone was watching. No one was there, so you crept along the hallway as fast as you could. Maybe you could find something useful for…whatever your next step would be.

Tip toeing through the hall, you heard Sabo in conversation with a woman through a door that had been left ajar. You hadn’t met anyone else on board, so you weren’t sure who it was. They sounded close, like they’d worked together for a long time. You strained to hear them. 

“- not a good idea, Sabo. What were you thinking?” The woman sounded exasperated.

“I didn’t want to leave her there. She’s a valuable asset.” You couldn’t see him, but you were guessing Sabo’s arms were crossed. You had been right, he wanted you for your research abilities and fruit powers, he lied to you. He probably thought he could get you to do research for the RA, and hiding his motives would help him. 

“That wasn’t the assignment, and you know it. You were supposed to neutralize her, not kidnap her.”

"The assignment was to neutralize the work being completed, not the scientist in charge,” Sabo rebutted. You backed away instinctively. They were casually arguing about murdering you. Leaving the cabin had been a mistake, you didn’t know any of these people or what they were capable of.

“What are you going to tell Dragon? And what are you going to do with her?” Sabo sighed loudly.

“Let me worry about that. She’s mine. And she’s staying with me.”

“On the island?” The woman sounded incredulous.

“For now.” You backed away from the conversation, wanting to get back to the cabin before Sabo saw you were out. Your hands were shaking so hard you were having difficulty working the knob. You finally managed to get it open and dart inside just as you heard footsteps coming down the hallway. You jumped into the bed, trying to look natural. The footsteps stopped outside the door, turning the knob. Sweating, you sat up on the bed, hoping Sabo didn’t come in. You were a bad liar, he would figure out you eavesdropped immediately. But the door never opened, you just heard the sound of the key turning, locking you in again. You weren’t sure that made you feel any more comfortable. You laid in bed for what felt like hours, twisting in anxiety about the conversation you'd overheard. You wanted to know more but weren't sure how to get the information without making it clear you'd listened in. Spying was not in your wheelhouse.

Taking a shaky breath, you reached for the cup on the nightstand and refilled it from the pitcher. Sabo had been bringing them to you to help with rehydration since the previous night. You drained it in one long chug, putting the cup back on the stand. Even though you had slept all afternoon, you were tired again. It made sense, you hadn’t slept for a long time during the storm and while you were sick. You yawned and leaned back on the bed, turning over to your side. You might as well sleep now, you were locked in the room anyway. Nothing else to do, you thought, drifting off.

The next day, you woke up in the late morning. You were warm and cozy, and basked in the feeling. The bed was rumpled, but you sometimes moved around a lot in your sleep, that wasn’t unusual. You stretched and raised your arms over your head, touching your hair. Oh, right. You hadn’t detangled it. It probably looked like a rat’s nest, you really did have to deal with it before it became a problem. You rewet your hair in the small attached sink, hoping your makeshift leave in worked at least a little. You didn’t see a comb or mirror in the room, so you sat on the bed, trying to detangle with your fingers. After a few minutes, you heard the sound of the door unlocking. Sabo came in, bringing with him a tray of food. You hadn’t had solid food other than crackers for days, so the smell of fresh eggs and sausage made your mouth water. Sabo set the tray down, watching you with your fingers in your hair.

“Do you want help?” Sabo asked, removing his top hat from his head. He had a pipe strapped to his back, which you hadn’t seen before.

“Help with what?” You were confused, you weren’t sick. What would he help you with?

“Detangling your hair. I used to do it for my younger brother all the time. He’d get bits of grass, leaves, even bugs in there.” It seemed a little too intimate for a captor to offer to his captive. You tried to decline.

“No, but if you had a mirror that would help.” Sabo frowned at you. 

“Your arms are tired and aching. You don’t have to do everything yourself. Let me help you, you can eat while I work on your hair.” You bit your lip. Remembering the neutralizing conversation from yesterday, you didn’t want to upset Sabo. If this made him happy, it wouldn’t be the worst thing. Besides, he was right, your arms were already aching and you’d barely started.

“Alright. But I don’t have a brush.” Sabo reached into his jacket pocket and brought out a small brush with flourish. You situated yourself on the chair in front of the writing desk and Sabo stood behind you. Picking at the food on the plate, you felt Sabo’s body heat on your back, as he carded through your hair. He started detangling your hair at the ends in the most tender and gentle way you’d ever felt, occasionally massaging your scalp after a particularly knotted section. You nearly moaned from the repeated contact. You knew you were touch starved and lonely but didn’t realize someone taking care of you could bring such satisfaction. You wanted to lean back into him and purr. Your hair was nothing special, but he held it like it was made of gold. You didn’t speak and neither did he. He was absorbed in taking care of your hair and you were glad for the reprieve from awkward conversation.  Once he was done, he kissed the top of your head, took the now empty tray and left the room without another word. Your eyes opened wide, what the hell was that?

Sabo POV

Sabo wanted to claw out his good eye for kissing the top of your head without warning. He didn’t regret it, it had felt so natural and right in the moment. But the look of confusion and alarm you’d had after made him realize his misstep. It wasn’t his fault, really. You’d been driving him wild, it was only natural for his affection to come out somehow. It had been pure bliss to offer you affection and for you to accept it. You’d let him in a slight bit, letting him care for you when you weren’t ill. It was a step in the right direction and he hoped he hadn’t derailed it too much by kissing you afterwards, even if it was on the top of the head. A kiss on the head could be brushed off as platonic, he rationalized.

His feelings towards you were anything but platonic though. When you’d been in the shower, he had been gripping the sink so hard he’d cracked it. He wanted to see your naked form so badly, but he knew it wasn’t the time. He contented himself by wondering what you looked like, what color your nipples would be, how sweet your pussy would taste. There would be a time, hopefully soon, where you would want to show him what you looked like naked and Sabo could hardly wait. He would take all the time you needed, he had plenty of it. While your mind was wandering off, forgetting he was there, he heard you softly humming to yourself. It was so endearing and cute, and Sabo now had evidence that you were feeling protected and safe enough to let your guard down. 

And yes, he had been drugging your water. Not very much, but by the time you’d had four or five cups, you’d be sleepy. It was a little habit forming, but nothing dangerous to your health. He couldn’t help it! After the first time you’d let him hold you all night long, he was addicted. He needed to feel you in his arms, knowing you were safe with him. Sabo loved watching you while you slept, curled up and warm. He purposely kept the window open at night making the room cold, so you would seek his body heat.  You nestled into him like a little cat, rubbing your face on his chest. How could he resist your charm? Besides, it was ok that he drugged you, it was in your benefit. You’d been sleep deprived for so long, this would help you get back to better health. 

Now on the deck, Sabo saw that the boat was finally arriving at the destination, it was time to go. He took his kerchief out of his pocket and got the keys to his room out of his pocket. Re-entering the room, he walked over as you were reclining on the bed, reading the book that he’d left out. It was a history of the Revolutionary Army, maybe you’d find it interesting.

“Time to go, the boat is docking.” You looked up at him, noting the fabric in his hands. “I’m sorry, I need to blindfold you. The locations of RA safe houses are secret.” You looked skittish and if you could have run, you probably would have. Sabo knew he didn’t have to blindfold you, there wasn’t a way you’d get off the island without him. Besides, it’s not like you knew where they were, you’d been completely out of commission during the trip. But Sabo wanted you to rely on him, cementing the idea that you needed him. You swallowed and nodded. Sabo gently but firmly tied the kerchief around your eyes, making sure it was completely blocking your vision. 

“Put your hands in mine, we’ll go slow together.” You blushed at his words, but Sabo hadn’t meant them in any kind of entendre. Still, it was nice to know he wasn’t the only one with romance on the mind. You raised your shaking hands and Sabo took them in his own. He still hadn’t taken off his gloves around you, but it might happen in the future. You clutched at his hands, afraid and unsure, swiveling your head as if you could see. “It’s alright, I’ve got you,” Sabo said softly, his thumb rubbing circles on the top of your hand. He helped you to standing and guided you out of the room. Koala was in the hall, preparing to move her things into the cabin, and gave Sabo a quizzical look. Koala thought this whole endeavor was foolish. Sabo knew she didn’t dislike you as a person, she disliked the deviation from the orders. She would come to see how wonderful you were, just like Sabo had, and she was always nervous around new people. Sabo guided you slowly to the top deck, where the plank to the dinghy was. Every step of the way he verbalized what was happening, to make you feel at ease. “One large step up, we’re at the entrance to the stairs,” he said, moving his hand to grip at your arm. It took a while to get to the deck, but Sabo wanted it to last as long as possible. 

You kept turning your head, trying to get as much information as you could with your limited sensory input but Sabo knew you weren’t getting much. Reaching the gangway, Sabo informed you that you would be carried. Not waiting for a response, he picked you up, causing you to squeak. He’d carry you as much as you’d allow, which didn’t seem to be much. Crossing over to the tiny boat, he sat you in his lap on the dinghy. 

“H-hey, let me sit by myself!” you protested, trying to feel for the seats. Your squirming wasn’t helping his growing erection, he hoped you couldn’t feel it. 

“If you want to be rocked by the waves and vomit all over yourself, sure. If I hold you, I can keep you more secure.” Sabo startled to lift you off his lap, but you stopped him.

“No, it’s OK. I’ll stay.” You already looked a little green, Sabo thought, rubbing your back. Luckily, the trip to the shore was exceedingly short. Sabo carried you off the little boat, sad for the loss of contact. Setting you on the sandy shore, Sabo reached to the tie of the blindfold.

“I’m going to untie your blindfold now. It’s a small island, please don’t try to escape. It won’t work and I’ll have to restrict your freedom more. It will make us both unhappy.” Sabo wasn’t actually worried about you escaping - you were on an uncharted island and even if you managed to get to a boat, your seasickness wouldn’t let you get far. But he still wanted to warn you, just in case. He untied the cloth, folding it back into a square and placing it in his pocket. You squinted, adjusting to the light. You looked around at the island, trying to determine where you were. You saw the little house Sabo had been living in for for about a year.

“Is it just us on the island?” you looked around quickly, probably trying to guess if there were others who could potentially help you.

“No, not just us. I’ll introduce you to my brother, Ace.”

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 19

Eminem x FemReader Fanfiction

Summary : Em is confronted by Nicole about his relationship with Y/N.

Tags : Bit of angst ? - Fluff

MARSHALL’S POV

Y/N ended up staying in the hospital for a total of five days. For the first two, she slept almost uninterrupted. Then, she started to manage to stay awake a little longer. They could have sent her home a little earlier, in fact, she was supposed to get out after 72 hours, but she was apparently demonstrating signs of PTSD. In fact, she had a lot of nightmares, which was understandable as her memory was starting to process the events. So, just to make sure, they kept her in the hospital for a little longer, giving her a few things to reduce her skyrocketing anxiety. Of course, Marshall was by her side for the whole duration of her hospital stay. He only left when he needed to shower and change his clothes, letting Talia take over. The whole team from the studio made sure to visit Y/N, who was definitely showered with gifts and affection. The whole hospital bedroom had almost been turned into a flower garden, thanks to Josh. Marshall couldn’t help but think that none of the situation would have happened if he had been as good at handling his liquor as he was good at keeping the Detroit flower business alive. Josh actually showed up to the hospital a handful of times and Y/N seemed happy to have her boyfriend by her side. Whenever he was there, Marshall took the hint and left the room, taking the opportunity to stretch his legs and, sometimes, grab coffee with Nicole, if she happened to be working and able to go for a quick break. 

Having his girlfriend work in the same hospital as Y/N was at was definitely an interesting experience. Whenever she was on break, she offered to bring him coffee in the room or suggested that they went for a quick walk. It was definitely sweet of her to offer, but he didn’t really want to : his attention was focused on Y/N and he didn’t want to take the risk of her waking up all alone in her room, especially since she hated hospitals. Eventually, what had to happen happened, and Nicole confronted him about Y/N, during one of their coffee breaks while Y/N was with Josh. 

So, for how long have you been here ? She asked. 

About four days, he said as he tried not to yawn. She’s going home tomorrow so tonight is my final night here. 

And she needs you by her side ? 

Well it’s… I don’t mind, he shrugged. I mean, she hates hospitals, so… 

I see, she said. Marshall… ? 

He sighed and looked at her, trying not to look too annoyed. He was exhausted and not in the mood for what he knew was about to come. 

Yes ? He asked. 

Obviously, we haven’t been dating too long, and your business is your business but… Should I be worried ? She asked gently. 

About what ? 

About Y/N, Nicole said. I mean, a girl can’t help but wonder, when she sees her date hanging around a 25 year-old, devoting so much time and energy… I guess I just want to know if I’m wasting my time here. 

That’s fair, he sighed. Look, I… We’re close. And, yeah, I spend a lot of time with her. She’s my best friend and I care for her, you know ? 

He knew he was lying through his teeth on that one. But he couldn’t exactly tell the woman he was dating that seeing Y/N lie in a hospital bed made him realize he was in love with her, right ? Even he knew that it would be a shitty thing to do. And it was not as if Nicole actually had anything to worry about. Nothing would ever happen between them. Right now, she was with Josh who had brought her yet another corny teddy bear and a bouquet (by now, he was probably just lacking imagination), probably planning their wedding. He couldn’t help but hear Talia’s words about them getting married. Obviously, they had just started dating, but at the pace they were going at, he wouldn’t even be surprised if Josh proposed in a month. Or maybe he was just grumpy and exhausted. But anyway, it wasn’t a conversation he really wanted to be having. 

Right, Nicole said sheepishly. So… She’s a priority ? 

Yup, he simply said. As I said, she’s my best friend and I care for her. She needs me, I’m there, that’s how it works. 

He wasn’t expecting it (right now, all he was expecting was to pass out from exhaustion), but Nicole let out a laugh. He wasn’t sure if it was a genuine laugh and that maybe he had been funny without meaning to, or maybe she was nervous. He looked at her, a bit surprised. 

And, you don’t get how I think that a grown man being best friends with a child might be a little inappropriate ? She asked as she was still laughing. 

Inappropriate ? He asked. How the fuck would that be inappropriate ? You asked me what the deal is and I just told you. 

You are at her beck and call. This girl has you wrapped around her finger and you don’t even seem to see it, she chuckled. Don’t you think she might be here for the wrong reasons ? 

Nope, he said. There’s not a doubt in my mind about Y/N’s intentions. Now, if you’re not confident enough to deal with the fact she’s important to me… I can’t do much about it. That’s on you, not me. 

She looked at him in surprise, her mouth slightly agape. She huffed and quickly drank the rest of her coffee. 

Well, I should let you get back to her, then, she said dryly. The ER is packed and I have work to do. Plus, you probably don’t want to keep her waiting anyway. Thanks for coffee. 

Before he had the chance to reply anything, she got up and left the cafeteria. He realized he was probably a bit too harsh with his words. He didn’t mean to hurt her, he was just pissed, grumpy and tired. In times like these, he wondered how people could seriously think of him as a womanizer. Obviously, he didn’t know shit about interacting with women. He sighed and got back to Y/N’s room. When he got there, he found her cuddling on the bed with Josh, looking at some books he brought. She was beaming, gently pressing her lips to his. At that moment, Marshall wasn’t sure whether he was about to pass out or puke. 

Hey, you’re back, Y/N greeted him. 

Yeah, he simply said. 

I guess that’s my cue to leave, Josh told her. Why don’t I take you out to dinner tomorrow night, to celebrate you getting out of here ? 

That would be lovely but I’m not sure about going out, she said softly. But maybe you could come for dinner and meet my roommates ? I think it’s time I introduced them to you. 

I would love that, Josh said with a smile. See you tomorrow. Goodbye, sir. 

Marshall tried not to groan as he settled in his chair. Great. Now she was literally introducing Josh to the people she considered as her closest family. He closed his eyes for a second and let out a small sigh. 

Are you alright ? Y/N asked. You seem… tense ? 

Just tired, he replied. 

Why don’t you go home and rest ? She suggested. 

I don’t feel like driving. My back hurts too much anyway, he said. 

Come here, she said. 

Why ? He groaned. 

Just come, she insisted. 

He went and sat next to her on the bed. She gestures for him to turn around and she ran her hands in his back, underneath his tee-shirt. He leaned into her soft touch, letting out a little groan. 

God, I’ve never seen a knot this big, she said. No wonder why you’re tense. 

She gently massaged his back. In a matter of minutes, the pain was relieved. 

Fuck, he said. That was good. 

I know right ? She chuckled. I’ve been told I’m a decent masseuse. 

More than decent, he said with a smile. If I’d known about this sooner, I would have taken advantage of it. 

She giggled and kept on massaging his back. He closed his eyes and relaxed. It felt good, though he wasn’t sure whether it was the release of the tension in his back or because she was the one touching him. 

So, how is Nicole ? She asked. 

Good question, he shrugged. 

You just had coffee with your girlfriend and you don’t know how she is ? Y/N mused. 

First of all, not my girlfriend, he replied. Secondly… Not my anything anymore, I guess. 

What happened ? She asked, suddenly stopping her massage. 

He groaned and sighed before looking at her. She seemed a bit confused. 

Nothing, I guess, he shrugged. 

Nothing ? You guess ? She asked. 

Yeah well, what do you want ? He snapped. I blew it, that’s it. 

Don’t take it out on me, she groaned. 

Sorry honey, he said softly. I’m just exhausted. And I guess I sort of took it out on Nicole too. I shouldn’t be allowed to talk to anyone when I’m this tired. 

Say more, Y/N replied. 

I don’t really know what her deal is, he shrugged. She asked if she should be worried about you and I spending so much time together. 

His best friend rolled her eyes and shook her head. 

And you don’t know what the deal is ? She chuckled. That’s an easy one. 

Walk me through it, he sighed. Since you seem to know everything. 

She was giving you an opportunity to tell her how much you like her, Y/N explained.

I mean, she could have asked, he said as he rolled his eyes. 

You know absolutely nothing about women, do you ? She giggled. 

Apparently not, he said as he rolled his eyes. 

It’s simple : we want to know if you guys can come through for us, on your own, she said. We could ask the questions, but then it might give you an idea of what the right answer is. It’s better if you come up with gestures on your own. Like… You can tell a guy that you’d enjoy a nice bouquet of flowers, but it’s so much more meaningful if he takes the initiative on his own. 

He hummed. What she was saying made sense but, at the same time, it really didn’t. No wonder he had stayed single for so long : getting a PhD in astrophysics seemed simpler than understanding women. 

How about the rose garden we’ve got going on here ? He asked with a grin. Is that an initiative ? 

It is, she giggled. Imagine what it would be like if I actually asked for flowers. I think he’d get a little carried away. 

You think ? He chuckled. I mean, shout out to him for keeping the flower business alive, I guess… And the stuffed animal business, too. You’ve got bears, a duck and… a lobster ?… Like, what the fuck ? 

She burst out in a fit of laughter and grabbed the lobster plushy, giving it a little kiss. 

That’s an inside joke, she said softly. You know, in Friends, when Phoebe tells Rachel that Ross might be her lobster ? Well today, he told me that he thinks I’m his lobster, and he gave me this. It’s super sweet. 

It’s corny as fuck, he stated with a grin. 

Well, I like it, she shrugged. 

Is he your lobster ? He couldn’t help but ask. 

I guess. I mean, look at all of this…, she said as she gestured around the room. No one’s ever cared for me like this. 

Marshall felt this one deep in his soul. Like a gut punch. Of course someone cared for her like this. Himself. Even more than that. He said nothing for a second and stared at her. She was looking at him and smiling, but there was a hint of melancholy in her eyes. 

I’ve had good relationships, you know, she added. But no one like Josh. I think that… If it doesn’t work with him, it’s not going to work with anybody. From that first date, he hasn’t stopped courting me and proving to me how much he likes me. That’s what every girl wants, right ?

Then why do you look so sad ? He asked. 

She lowered her gaze and he noticed that her lip was quivering, as if she was about to cry. 

I guess I’m just tired, she said. And, you know, people have been so good to me lately, it’s making me emotional. But I’m… I’m good, you know ? 

People are good to you because you deserve it, he said. They love you. I love you. 

I love you too, Marsh, she said with a smile. Thank you for being my best friend. 

“Not what I meant”, he thought to himself. He got closer to her and gently kissed her forehead. 

So, what are you going to do about Nicole ? She asked. 

I don’t think there’s much to do, he shrugged. 

You said you liked her, Y/N stated. 

I do, he agreed. 

And that she was great. 

She is, he agreed again. But if she can’t handle the fact that you’re my priority right now, I don’t think there’s much I can do. 

Maybe I shouldn’t be your priority, she replied with a hint of sadness. 

Why would you even say that ? He asked, his eyebrows furrowed. 

I love having you by my side, Marsh, she said. But I know you have things to do. You should be working instead of wasting your time here with me. You have other people in your life. You have Nicole. 

I’m here because I want to be, Y/N, he said as he put a strand of hair behind her shoulder. As long as you’re here, I’m here. I’m not leaving you alone when I know full well you hate hospitals and you’re having nightmares. 

Talia offered to take over, you know ? 

I know, but she has to work, he shrugged. I don’t. 

Except you kind of do, she said. 

Except I’m kind of my own boss, he said sternly. Plus, I think everyone at the studio could do with a break anyway. Now, I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me you want me to leave. Do you want me to leave ? 

I don’t, she said with a small smile. Although I think you’d sleep better in your house. 

I’ve been on tour, he said. If I can sleep in a tour bus full of people, I can sleep in a hospital room. 

You’re getting rid of me tomorrow anyway, she said with a smile. 

You know I’ll still be here, right ? 

It’s fine, she said. I’ll have Talia and Jamal at home. And Josh offered to take care of me too. 

Ok, he simply said. 

Now, who’s taking care of you ? She asked. 

What do you mean ? He asked with a yawn. 

Look, she said, you like Nicole, you think she’s great and I don’t want to be the reason why you guys are arguing. I know how guarded you can be, and how little you care for dating but… If you like her, if you think she’s great and if Hailie thinks she’s good for you… You should allow yourself to be happy. You deserve it more than anyone I know. 

We’ll see, he sighed. Look, can we… Talk about that later ? I’m too tired for this. 

Do you want to sleep ? 

Yeah, if you don’t mind, he replied as he got up to go back to the chair. 

Don’t be silly, Marshall. You can sleep here, she said as she gestured for him to come back on the bed and made a little room for him. 

He took off his shoes and layed next to her. She let out a little yawn and he couldn’t help but pull her closer to him. She was too cute. 

Thank you honey, he said softly. 

Good night, she said as she closed her eyes and let her head roll on his shoulder. 

Thirty seconds later, she was asleep. He stared at her for a moment, taking in her features. He pulled the cover over her, making sure she wouldn’t be too cold for the night. He noticed that her lobster was next to her and he couldn’t resist the urge to push that awful thing out of the way, letting it fall on the floor. No way he was sleeping next to that. Sorry Josh. He grinned at his own immaturity and closed his eyes, focusing on the only thing that actually mattered : the steady breath of the girl sleeping next to him. 

Y/N’s POV

You were woken up by the door opening. It was the nurse, coming in to check up on you. Marshall was still sleeping next to you, an arm draped across your body. Almost as if he was protecting you. As soon as she saw him lying in bed with you, she frowned. 

Someone’s sleeping soundly, she said with a displeased face. 

He could use it, you said softly. 

I know, he’s been here for days, she said. Wouldn’t let us throw him out anyway. 

Thank you for allowing him to stay, you replied. 

How are you feeling tonight ? She asked. How is the anxiety ? 

A little better, you said. 

Good. If you need, I can ask the doctor to give you a sedative, she said. 

I think I’ll be fine for tonight, you said. 

You felt Marshall stirring. He let out a small groan and changed position, one of his legs going over yours. You let out a small laugh as you noticed he was taking up more and more space in his sleep. 

I think you’ll be fine indeed, she grinned. You can also tell your “uncle” that he’s not fooling anyone. 

My what ? You asked in disbelief. 

Exactly, she said. Have a good night, dear. And enjoy, good men like this are hard to come by. 

She gave you a smile and left. You chuckled softly. Men as good as Marshall were, indeed, a rarity. You knew just how lucky you were to have him by your side. He was the most incredible person you knew, and all you wished for was for him to be happy. He deserved it. Even though the thought of him with another woman was breaking your heart, it made you a little sad to know that he had a little falling out with Nicole. From what you gathered, she was a good match for him. Probably even more so than you. You felt a little guilty at the idea that you might be the cause of an argument. He was the most amazing man you knew and he deserved the utmost happiness. So, even though it shattered your heart and your soul, you had encouraged him to patch things up with her. You were in love with him, but you knew these feelings were unrequited on his part, so you weren’t even hoping for a chance, here. You might have had one in the past, but it was long gone. Plus, Josh and yourself had a good thing going on, too. Yes, you had started dating him in hope to get your mind off Marshall, but you were starting to have feelings. It was not love, not quite yet, but you were sure it would grow. It had to : if the universe had someone in store for you, and it was not Marshall Mathers, it had to be Josh. Because he was ticking every box. You wanted to give this relationship a chance, because even though your boyfriend was not the one you thought about when you went to bed at night, he was making you incredibly happy, and you cared for him deeply. And it was all that mattered, right ? You just hoped that, in time, you would be able to let go of your feelings for Marshall. Because it wasn’t fair to Josh and you almost hated yourself for it. But you were ready to commit to this relationship. Josh deserved it. 

For now, though, you stared at Marshall and his perfect features. His face was incredibly close to yours, thanks to the small bed you were sharing. You gently ran your fingers through his short hair and kissed his forehead. 

Mmmh. I love you, you heard him say in a sleepy voice that made your heart melt. 

[arctickat2400]

Safest Place ∞ Soft! Billy Hargrove

*

You rarely went to the pool. Correction, you refuse to go to the pool. All the people, the screaming kids, the unsanitary water. It all made your anxiety skyrocket just by looking at the chaos. But, the biggest reason you aren’t a fan of the pool is that you aren’t too fond of your body, no matter what your friends say, no matter the compliments and the reassurances they give you. Even when your boyfriend tells, even shows you, how much he loves you and your body, you still have your days. 

Except today, the hottest day of the year, it seems, Robin begged you to go with her. Of course, you couldn’t say no; she’s your best friend. Plus, you get to see your boyfriend on the job. 

You walk through the gate, the screams already kicking off the anxiety rushing through your mind. You try to focus on getting to Robin and settling into your spot. Walking out of the short lobby, you immediately catch Billy’s eye. You don’t even think to look around for him as you keep on walking. Billy smiles, following your path, watching the rest of the pool in his peripheral. You reach the spot in the corner that Robin had chosen, and, despite how busy the pool is, it’s apart from other people.

“Hey, girl. You finally made it. Didn’t think you’d actually show.” Robin mentioned, looking up from her book. She may not seem like the book type, but soon after you met her and suggested one of your favorite books to her, she was hooked. You set your bag down by your lounge chair, luckily underneath the shade of an umbrella.

“I told you I’d be here. One, you asked me to come, and two, I didn’t have anything else to do. Wanted to hang out with my favorite girl.” You smile at her, earning one from her as well as you settle on the chair.

“Are you not gonna change? It’s so hot out, I don’t know how you can stand it.” Robin gestures to your clothes. You wore an oversized T-shirt and denim shorts. You have your swimsuit on underneath, but you weren’t planning on showing it off. But, now that she mentioned it, you’re hyperaware of the scorching heat and give in, reluctantly taking off your shirt and shorts, and throwing them into your bag.

Suddenly, you hear a whistle as you turn toward the pool. You were ready to flip off whoever was catcalling you until you spotted the sweet, irresistible smile of your boyfriend, Billy. Seeing his smile could make your darkest days just a bit lighter; it makes you so happy, you can’t help smiling at the mere thought of him.

You roll your eyes at him as he begins his descent down the ladder of his lifeguard post that stood a few feet away from your spot. You continue to settle yourself on your chair as Billy makes his way over to you.

“Now what do I owe the rare pleasure of seeing my beautiful princess at the pool? You didn’t tell me you were coming,” Billy settles himself on the end of your chair as you lean forward toward him, blushing at his compliment. He places your feet in his lap, rubbing his hand along your leg. Billy knew of your hatred of the pool. He knows you only ever go swimming in natural bodies of water - the lake, the ocean, etc. But, it’s rare that you get to go to those places.

“Just spending the day with Robin. Didn’t have anything to do, so I thought why not?” You answer him, lifting your sunglass to the top of your head so you could look him in the eyes.

“Well then, I gotta get back. Just wanted to say hi,” He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your lips, brushing his thumb across your cheek. “Hi,” You smile as he pulls away, staying close.

“Come on, you guys. Get a room,” Robin groaned sarcastically. You let out a laugh, turning your head and throwing your towel at her. She laughs, throwing it back at you before opening her book again.

“Okay, I’ll see you in a bit. Let me know if you need anything,” Billy insisted, placing a kiss on your forehead before standing and walking back to his post. You watch him settle at the top of the guard tower, then reach into your bag to grab your own book and water bottle. Except, you only come out with your book. Rifling through your bag, “Man, I must’ve forgotten my water bottle at home. I’m gonna go get one from at the front. [Do] You need anything?” You ask Robin as you pull out a $10 bill from your wallet.

“A snack would be great. Surprise me,” Robin smiles up from her book. You nod, placing your sunglass back over your eyes before making your way to the snack shack. You pass Billy’s post on your way as he reaches his hand down and you lightly place your hand in his in passing. He winks at you as you go, allowing for a deep blush to rise to your cheeks.

Paying for two packs of cookies and a water bottle, you make your way back to your spot, planning on stopping to ask Billy when he should be home after his shift. Once you locked eyes with him, everything else around you seemed to disappear, as did everything else whenever Billy would look at you the way he is - like you’re the only girl on the planet and he can’t take his eyes off you, like he was blessed with the most gorgeous woman on earth.

Then, it all happened so fast. You were there, then you weren’t. First, you were strolling poolside to your boyfriend, the next, your screams rang out in Billy’s ears as Cathy, your high school enemy, pushed you into the deep end. You gasp, the items in your hands disappearing as you submerge into the water you hadn’t intended on getting into. 

You never understood why, but Cathy always hated you. Even after you all graduated, she still seems to hold a grudge against you. Theories suggest it’s because of Billy, how he chose you over her, no matter how much she would throw herself at him, and she just thought it would be fun to torture you over someone else’s decision.

Usually, you are a great swimmer, for the most part at least. But, the shock of being pushed in when your mind was completely embedded in the love of your life shocked you to no end. You panic and begin sinking, the lack of air making it hard to breathe and fight for your life.

The second he saw Cathy start running toward you, her hands pressed against your arm, Billy was already on his feet. He doesn’t hesitate to jump in after you, swimming to your sinking figure, the only thought on his mind is getting you out and making sure you’re okay. 

Reaching his hand out to you, Billy grabs your hand and pulls your body against him, his arms wrapping around your waist, swimming you to the pool’s edge. Once Billy lifted you out of the water, you took a deep breath, choking on the water still in your throat. Billy notices Robin reaching out to help as he lifts you the best he can. You reach out to take hold of Robin as she holds you up so Billy can jump out of the water, picking you up bridal style in his arms and rushing you over to your chair, all while you struggle to catch your breath. 

Billy kneels down in front of you, caressing your hair out of your face as he helps you get the water out of your system, guiding your breathing. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” Robin exclaims, taking your towel and helping Billy wrap it around your shivering body. All the commotion has caused an audience around you, mostly nosey onlookers, and a few worried faces. Robin searches around and sees Cathy on the sidelines, laughing with some of her friends. Robin’s furious; she’s always had your back, being your best friend for life and she knew all about this hatred between you and Cathy, being the one you would rant to about your high school rival.

“What the hell is your problem?” Robin screams, rageful, standing up and stalking over to Cathy. “Why would you think it’s okay to do something like that? What did she ever do to you? After all this time, you think you would have grown up by now.”

Meanwhile, “Are you okay, baby?” Billy asks, looking you in the eye. He holds your hand in his, anchoring you to him, his other hand caressing your cheek to soothe you. You nod, still attempting to get your breathing under control. He watches as your eyes move to the side, your anxiety booming at all the people looking at you. Billy follows your nervous gaze and notices all the people standing around you. People really have no sense of personal space, and he’s had it.

“Give my girl some space!” Billy yells over the crowd. “There’s nothing to see here,” He adds before spotting Robin and Cathy in a heated argument. He looks back at you to make sure you’re alright, his heart breaking once seeing the fear in your eyes, how you look to be on a whole other planet. He stands, although not wanting to leave your side, and your hand slips from his as he rushes to the two girls in question. 

“As for you,” Billy hissed at Cathy. “You are banned from this pool and if I see you go anywhere near Y/N again-” 

Cathay interrupts him. Big mistake. She’s in for it and she doesn’t even know. “What? What’re you gonna do?” Cathy inquired in a snarky tone, her arms crossed over her chest, attempting to seem tougher than she is. Besides Billy, though, she failed severely. “Why are you defending her anyways? I don’t get what you see in her. Aren’t you embarrassed to be seen with her with that body in a bikini? I mean, come on. She couldn’t even wait until after she left the pool to eat yet another snack. I think-” Except, Billy doesn’t care what she thought, in the slightest. He’s done. 

“Just because I found someone who is beautiful, smart, kind, and so much more than you’ll ever be, doesn’t mean you can go around making her life a living hell, just because I chose her without even giving you a single thought. You’re gonna stay away from her and you’re gonna stay away from here. I don’t care if she’s around or not. I don’t want to see your face again. No one talks about my baby like that.” Billy snapped. He was furious, stunned that anyone could say, or even think such things about you. 

Knowing he can’t physically touch this girl, he calls for someone who can. “Heather!” Billy shouts over all the people and she rushes over to him. She’s always at his beck and call. Both you and Billy see the way she looks at him, but fortunately for you, Billy’s only got eyes for you. You’re just happy she’s not as ruthless as Cathy. 

“Get her out of here,” Billy starts, pointing briefly to the front gate of the pool. “If she ever comes back and I’m not here, send her away, whether Y/N’s here or not.” Billy finishes, making his way back to you. Cathy tries to protest, but she’s not getting away with what she’s done if Billy has anything to say about it. “Take the rest of my shift. I’ll pay you. I’m taking Y/N home.” Billy requests as Heather nods, taking Cathy by the arm and dragging her away.

Billy’s back by your side in no time, kneeling in front of you, taking your hand in his. “Hey, baby girl. Let’s get you home, yeah?” You nod before Billy looks over to see Robin holding your bag out to him. He thanks her, taking your bag in one hand and guiding you to stand with the other. Billy holds you against his side as he guides you to the locker room to grab his things before settling you into his car (he’ll drive you back to get your car later).

Helping you into your apartment, Billy brings you into the bathroom and turns on the shower, making sure the temperature is to your liking. Turning back to you, Billy reaches for the towel you held tightly around your body, but you back away, your eyes going wide as you meet his confused gaze. 

“Sweetheart,” Billy begins, his brows furrowing. “What’s wrong?” He knows that’s a dumb question. He knows exactly what’s wrong, physically at least. But even though he is always quick to make sure you know how beautiful and amazing you are to him, he doesn’t know the toll of what you heard today is taking on your mind. “Darling, you’re shivering. Let me help you.” He slowly steps toward you, placing his hands on your shoulders, and, to your surprise, you didn’t pull away.

“I heard what she said,” You mumble, your voice shaky. He doesn’t even have to ask to understand. “I know it’s all true.” A tear escapes down your cheek.

“My precious girl,” Billy lets out a defeated sigh, brushing his thumb to rid away the tear. He thought he was getting through to you. He thought that you were getting better. Now you’re back to square one because some people think they’re so much higher than others, they think they can say whatever they want and walk all over people.

Holding your face in his hands, “Nothing, absolutely nothing of what Cathy said was true. Here’s the thing: if you heard her, then you must have heard me. You are so beautiful, my love. But, not only that, you are so sweet and kind; you have a heart of gold. No one can live up to you in my eyes. I can’t imagine what’s going on in your mind right now, but I know that none of it’s true. I love you so much and I won’t hesitate to bring anyone down who thinks they have the right to tell you otherwise.” He speaks softly, brushing the back of his hand gently against your soft cheek. Your eyes never leave his even for a second. “As for your body, please don’t hide away from me. You know how I feel about you. I know you have doubts, but trust me, my love, I mean everything I say. You are gorgeous. I don’t care how much you weigh or what size clothes you wear or how big you think your thighs or tummy are. I love you and I think you are magnificent no matter what.” Tears streamed from your eyes as you took a deep, shaky breath before you let your towel fall to the floor.

You can’t take your eyes away from Billy, even when his eyes break away from yours, moving down your body. It doesn’t feel like he’s checking you out, though. He’s memorizing you - every curve and scar on your body doesn’t go unnoticed by him. Looking back up into your eyes to ask for permission, you nod. Billy guides his hands down your back, undoing the hook that keeps your bikini top fastened, and slowly removes it from your body. He traces his fingers down the curve of your chest, slowly so as to not startle you. He continues down the valley of your breasts until he reaches the curve of your belly, freezing his motions when he hears your sharp intake of breath. His eyes shoot up to yours, making sure you’re okay. He doesn’t look away, keeping your eyes on his, as he places both palms against your stomach, brushing against the smooth skin with his thumbs. 

Billy slowly kneels down in front of you, his hands placed on your hips, when he places a gentle kiss on your tummy, just below your belly button. His thumbs graze either side of your soft waist before hooking underneath the band of your bikini, tenderly pulling down, his lips still pressed against your belly. One last kiss and one last look at your tummy before Billy takes your hand in his, standing up to his full height. 

“See, princess? I can’t get enough of you. You don’t need to hide from me. I want to be your safe place. I love you, darling. Nothing and no one can change that.” Billy brings your hand up to place a soft kiss on your knuckles before leading you into the shower, but not before you pulled him back and rushed into his arms. He held you against his chest, a sweet kiss placed atop your head, his warm embrace the safest place you could ever be.

[josephquinnswhore]

Good Girl

Pairing: Male Nurse Joel Miller x female patient reader.

Summary: the nurse in triage calls you a good girl.

Word Count: 2k

Content Warning: Joel Miller with curly hair and glasses, praise kink. Taking pills—painkillers and steroids. Implied age gap, older Joel—mid twenties reader. No outbreak.

Note: based off the sexy male nurse tonight at hospital that called me a good girl 😭 maybe it was innocent but I have a praise kink baby! Anyway, I’m high off painkillers and steroids and I’m super sick so this is probably a terrible fic. Anyway enjoy… or don’t!

You were worn from the endless beat down and busyness that work had drained you with. Your car keys in hand jingle in the silence of the night, glad you put on that ugly navy-blue hand knit old man’s sweater you’d brought from lowes. It was cold—perhaps a symptom of her sickness, or maybe it was just cold.

It was too quiet for your liking—never taking too kindly to hospitals, let alone at 10:00pm, in the complete darkness. It was silent, not one pair of footsteps, not a monitor beeping. It sets the anxiety on hold in your throat skyrocketing into nausea.

Your converse on the ugly off-white tile is comforting, at least you’re not completely alone in the eerie building. You look around the front desk, sighing in annoyance that to your surprise, there’s no one there. The box of masks and tissues occupy the space of the counter. And a sign; made by the staff.

The notice was printed on a foul-yellow in big bold writing.

“STAFF ON BREAK. GONE FOR 30 MINUTES. PLEASE SEE TRIAGE IF STAFF NOT AVAILABLE.”

Oh—okay, that’s fine. Everyone needs a break, especially healthcare workers in these dire times.

Walking back past the section of the building you’d come through initially, the permanently open sliding doors, you come to find again; no one at the triage.

But there’s no note, perhaps they’re just busy tonight. If so; why was it so silent? The ache in your ear dulled, but still caught the sound of someone shuffling in the background, through the window you could see an older lady, short with greying hair and rectangular glasses remaking a bed.

You decide to press the giant green button that says “call.” The woman notices the sound, turning the alarm off as she approaches the desk.

Her voice is irritable; like you’re interrupting the most important task of her damned life. “Can I help you?” She asks rudely.

A man in dark blue scrubs interrupts. “Are you here to see a doctor?” His voice is husky, tired sounding but still kind.

“Yes, please.” You plead tiredly, eyes dropping lazily and scoffing at how late it was, and how you’d have to be at work tomorrow.

Damn it all, right?

“Come in sweetheart.” He swipes his card on the door that’s attached to the pocket on his scrubs, unlocking the door with a beeping sound, he holds the door open for you.

“Thank you.” You wearily and slowly walk into the triage, the body aches infecting every limb of yours too to bottom.

“Just sit down here, and we’ll get some of your details. My name is Mr Miller, but you can call me Joel.” He grins cheekily.

You sit on the uncomfortable leather seat, a monitor right next to you, a second seat next to your own remains unoccupied as you arrived alone.

The details are boring, your name, birthdate, address and allergies are all rushed through quickly, although you did seem to notice how the man’s ears reddened at the sound of your name.

Great, now you’re sick and delusional.

He scoots his chair over to you, the wheels rolling along the slick floors, his legs guiding him to the monitor, he puts the cuff around your arm and checks your blood pressure.

He frowns at the result.

You refrain from looking until he’s back at his desk typing notes. That can’t be good.

“Alright, what brings you in tonight lovely?” The man’s attention was undivided. Those deep brown—chocolate eyes were watching you. It felt a little intimidating.

“I’ve had a cough for a few days, but I’m struggling to eat and drink due to how swollen my tonsils feel. There’s also an ache in my left ear.” You explain hoarsely, your voice seemed to have changed as a result of your withering condition, even had started losing your voice.

“Alright now, I’m going to check your temperature first, so I need you to slip this under your tongue, okay?” Enamoured by how soft this man’s voice was, you only nodded in compliance.

He puts a small disposable plastic cover over the thermometer and when it beeps he throws the cover in the bin and hums to himself. “Temperature is okay.”

“Just going to have a look in that ear and see if there’s anything unusual going on, just hold on tight.”

You remain patient, watching his every move, eyes veering back and forth as you watch him, noting how small the ear torch thingy looked in his hands, Christ, was that even normal?

“Ears look alright.” He states confidently. “Now I just want to check your mouth, open up wide for me.”

You comply, wordlessly, tongue hanging out of your mouth, he can’t seem to find his torch as he rummages through his things, deciding to use the torch off his phone.

A phone that seemed old school to be owned by a nurse. “Just try and relax that tongue for me.” His voice was soft, squinting as he tried to see the condition of your throat.

He jumps in thought, pulling the small pair of glasses from his top pocket, he looks so sweet with them on.

“Let’s try again, just try and relax your tongue, keep it down on the bottom of your mouth if you can.” He encouraged, “relax that tongue for me.”

He pulls away, turning the torch off on his phone.

“Sorry sweetheart I’m going to need to use the tongue compressor.” He chuckles, you let out a huff of a laugh, due to your hoarse and irritated voice.

“Sorry—I was trying to keep it still, it’s hard when you’re trying to consciously keep it from moving.”

The man walks to the other side of the room, he lets out a laugh. “It’s alright—we’ll get you sorted.”

You notice more things about him as he walks around, the half sleeve that covers his elbow. Black and grey mainly, but a cherry blossom flower in pink. Not entirely neat, the ink had faded, you could only presume it was a result of being tattooed many years ago. Perhaps before your time.

His arms were thick, muscly. The poor seams of his uniform sleeves were holding with all their might in the double stitch. His neck were thick, and even though you could only see a small portion of his chest, you notice the defined collarbones and black coarse chest hairs that come up to the base of his neck. His hair was slightly grown out, curly hair seemed free range. The grey hairs in his hair matched his patchy—but neatly shaven beard.

God he looked tired, his expression matching your own, he yawned underneath the mask he wore haphazardly. “Pardon me, it’s getting to that time of night.”

“I feel you,” you mumble, tiredness laced in every syllable.

He takes the paper wrapper off the wooden stick, holding it out as he sits back in his chair, across from you. “Just gonna hold your tongue down and get a look.” He firmly presses the stick into your mouth, holding your tongue down to prevent it blocking where he needs to see.

Your tongue seems to dispute the sudden constriction and wiggles which he laughs at.

“Good girl, thank you.” He praises, sparing a glance before wheeling back to his desk to throw the wooden stick in the bin, going back to his computer to type in his notes.

Good what now? Surely that’s not apart of a normal checkup, or procedure, right? Your whole body tingles and you feel yourself feeling warm, almost faint at his praise.

“Alright darlin, if you wanna sit in the waiting room and wait for the doctor you’ll be right in,” he gives a polite smile, you miss the way he looks you up and down. He holds the door open for you, slowly you’re able to lift your aching body off the seat that's noulded around you, offering him a small smile as you walk past him. “Thank you so much.”

You hobble to the stiff seats, taking a spot in the second row from the front—directly across from the front desk.. where typically the attendant had turned the light on and sat back down, she stares at you as she takes down her sign.

The tv was quiet, but it depicted a movie you were quite fond of; Kingsman: The Golden Circle.

Well—your love for Pedro Pascal made the movie more enjoyable.

He made a fine cowboy after all.

After a few minutes of watching the scene on the quiet tv, and snap chatting with your friends to let you know that you’d been praised by a sexy nurse, you’re called into the doctor's office. In which; the sexy nurse himself was there, assisting the doctor.

“I hear you’re not feeling too well, young lady.” The doctor was an older man, lean and tall, one white patch at the front of his otherwise untouched brown hair.

“I’m just going to check a few things out, we’ll get this all sorted for you so you can go home.” He said cheerfully.

The doctor, same as Mr Miller—Joel.. checked your mouth, tongue, ears and asked a few of the same questions. After assessing you; he finally had an answer.

“Sounds like a viral infection—we’ll get you some pain killers, steroids and a list of symptoms we’ll need you to come back for, if you experience them. I’ll be back in one moment!” The lanky doctor exclaimed.

The nurse—Joel, stayed. “Why don’t we get you seated, you don’t look well.” His large hand guides your mid-lower back, taking your hand to sit you onto the freshly made bed, the linen now tainted with your sickness.

“Thank you,” a whisper is all your aching throat can manage.

The moment is ruined by the doctor. “These are the steroids and pain relief. I forgot to ask—do you need a medical certificate?” He tilted his head, handing you the small white paper cup that had 4 pills, two large and two small. With a cup of water.

“Yes please, I’m scheduled to work tomorrow but I don’t feel fit enough to work.” You manage softly, although feeling a little embarrassed to complain about working in your condition.

Joel looked tired and stressed, yet here you were complaining. You begin swallowing the tablets, the two large first, unable to stop yourself from gagging as the pill gets lodged in your throat—the swelling of your tonsils makes it difficult to swallow.

But you manage, thank t to the encouragement of Joel. “It’s alright, easy now, don’t rush.” He croons, standing a little too close to you.

You take his advise, taking a few moments to swallow the pills and eventually you’re done. “There you go, easy now sweetheart,” he murmurs gently. Your body halts it’s shuffling to get off the bed, but the man takes your plastic and paper cup and put it in the bin for you. You’re stunned by how thoughtful and beautiful this older man was.

“Medical certificate and some pain killers to take home.” The doctor stated, interrupting your delusion, sitting them down on the work bench across from your position on the bed. “If you start to feel worse, fevers, vomiting, shortness of breath please come back.”

You stand, suppressing a groan as your stiff ankles hold the ache for your weight. “Thank you so much. Have a good evening.”

He bids his farewells, and you pick up your paperwork and medication, noting how once again, the nurse is holding the door open for you, the stronger man gives you a soft smile.

“Feel better sweetheart. Don’t hesitate to come back. Want you looked after, yeah?” It sounded like a coo, like he was pleading for your condition to improve.

“Thank you for all your help.” You muster, feeling better already thanks to the fast working medication.

“See you around.” His hand brushed against your lower back as you walk past. “Have something to eat when you get home, won’t you?”

Your cheeks felt inflamed, not from sickness, but bashfulness. “I’ll do that.” You promised, making your exit out of that stale smelling room. Your stomach grumbled, as if it also wished to comply to this man’s sweet demands.

The only thought of that handsome man on your mind, was she imagining things.. surely not?

Either way, your immune system was no good, it was almost a guarantee you’d be back sooner or later.. you just hoped, nurse Joel Miller would be on the clock to assist you back to health.

[dimplesandfierceeyes]

Don't know if u r still taking bad buddy prompts. But if u r, high school patpran teaching kissing or practicing kissing and Pat realizing his feelings and getting together.

OP.

OP OP OP.

How did you know?

How did you know this was my weakness?

Anyway, when this prompt came in the whole plot basically appeared in my head fully formed and all I needed was the time to make it real. I hope you all enjoy!

~~~

Practice Makes Perfect

(I know, I know, the least original title ever)

Pran wasn’t sure when it had become an unspoken rule that they would meet in his bedroom. He guessed it made sense. Pat’s family was nosy; they walked in and out of each other’s bedrooms unannounced and didn’t seem to like doing anything alone if they could drag another person into it too. Still, every time Pat was in his room, Pran’s heart rate skyrocketed with anxiety. (Only anxiety, definitely only anxiety.)

Pat was here again, all lanky-limbed six-foot of him sprawled over Pran’s bed like he was entitled to it. He’d grown again. Up until last year they’d been neck-and-neck for height but this year, Pran had slowed down and Pat, annoyingly, hadn’t. Not only that, but his shoulders were getting broader too whilst Pran’s stayed stubbornly slim, just like his mae’s. Not for the first time, Pran wished he’d inherited more of his father’s easy musculature.

“So we just gotta watch the scene and answer these questions right?” Pat asked, staring at the sheet he was holding in front of him. He was lying on his stomach, propped up on his elbows so he could screen while Pran had claimed the desk chair.

“Yes.” 

“Oh, cool! That’s easy.” 

They were working on literature homework: the interpretations of play adaptation. This was the second version of this play they were watching and the questions were mostly about drawing comparisons. Pran clicked on the file the teacher had uploaded and blinked as a thumbnail popped up showing two male characters.

“I thought this was supposed to be the kiss scene?” Pat questioned. “Has the teacher uploaded the wrong file?”

“I don’t think so. Nobody else has said it was a different scene,” Pran replied. He was still staring at the screen, his heart pumping so much faster than it should have been as he considered the only other possibility. 

“So basically it’s a BL version,” Pat laughed.

“I guess.” Pran furiously told his heart there was no difference between watching a straight kissing scene with Pat or watching a BL one. It didn’t listen.

“Alright, let’s get started, I guess.”

Pran had never wished for his parents to get home early from the weekly shop but it turned out there really was a first time for everything. Unfortunately, no engine noise rumbled up to the front gate and Pran was forced to accept that this was, in fact, happening. 

He could barely pay attention to the questions on the sheet of paper in front of him, though he spent as much time as he could staring down at it as the men on the screen danced around each other, feeling the other out, before finally shattering the tension, reaching for each other as if starving. Pran had watched the exact same scene in class between a man and a woman without even blinking. Now he was hot all over, hyper aware of Pat lying on his bed behind him watching two men kiss on his computer screen, and he could only hope that his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt they should be. 

The end of the scene couldn’t come soon enough.

“Okay,” Pran said as professionally as he could manage, lifting his sheet in the air to show he meant business as he quarter-turned in his chair so he had his profile to Pat. 

“What do you think it’s like for the actors? To kiss a guy, I mean,” Pat chimed in with his usual inability to not send Pran’s mind into chaos. 

“Pretty much like kissing a girl,” Pran replied tightly, lifting his sheet a little higher. It was once again ignored.

“Do you think it is? Just the same as a kissing a girl? I think it would be different.”

“Why would it be different? They’re both just people.” Pran replied, unable to believe he was actually locked into this conversation.

“I don’t know,” Pat shrugged. “Have you ever done it? Kissed a guy?” 

Pran barely managed not to choke on his own saliva. “Wh-What business is that of yours?” 

Pat’s eyes went as round as saucers, his mouth dropping open. “Wait, you have?”

“I didn’t say that,” Pran replied rapidly but he could see it was already too late.

“Holy shit, you have! Why didn’t you tell me?” If a tone of voice could be a pout, Pat’s would have been a prime example.

“Why would I tell you that?”

“Who was it?”

“Why would I tell you that either?”

“You know all the girls I’ve kissed,” Pat complained.  

Unfortunately, Pran thought to himself. “It’s not like I ever asked for that information.”

Pat ignored the jibe, steamrolling over it. “So, was it? Was it different from kissing a girl?”

“None!” Pran replied spitefully, despite having never kissed a girl.

“Oh,” Pat looked disappointed. “Not at all?”

“What sort of difference should there be?” Pran asked, exasperated. 

“I don’t know, it just feels like there would be.” Pat frowned for a second before suddenly his expression released and he looked at Pran like he’d just thought of something. Pran got a sharp and defined sense of foreboding. “What if we tried it?”

“What?” Pran squeaked.

“I mean, I know you didn’t think there was a difference, but maybe it would be different for me,” Pat reasoned. 

"And this is my problem, how?" Pran managed to force out as his entire body launched into a state of panic hitherto only observed in mice fleeing a hungry cat. 

"Oh, come on," Pat whined in a way that was terrifyingly close to the way that had wheeled Pran into truly remarkable levels of trouble several times. "It's not like I'd be your first guy; I'd just be your second! It's not like it's special or anything."

"What kind of logic is that? Then I'd-I'd be your first!"

"I don't mind," Pat replied with a shrug and Pran's mind gurgled. 

He knew he had to say no, that if he kept just pointing out problems Pat would just keep countering them. But then he’d be saying no. To Pat kissing him.

“Come on, what do you want?” Pat asked, sounding exasperated.

“What?”

“I know you’re just stretching it out because you want me to agree to lose at something in return.”

“I don’t need you to agree to lose; I can make you lose any day.” Pran replied automatically. Pat rolled his eyes.

“Just name your terms, Parakul.”

Pran flung out an idea from the void. “The next rugby match. If I’m close to the goal post, find a way to fumble the ball to me.”

Pat frowned, brow furrowing as if in dilemma, before huffing dramatically. “Fine. The next match is yours.”

Pran’s already abused heart was electrocuted by the words, now hammering at double the speed. He’d agreed. He might not have actually said the words, but he’d agreed to let Pat kiss him. He didn’t know if he was a genius or insane. 

Pat seemed to be waiting for something and it took Pran a second to realise it was for him to walk over to the bed. His mind rebelled the idea, it felt too much like a capitulation to be the one to move. And what if he looked eager? He couldn’t bear the thought.

“I’m not going to you,” he said as dismissively as he could manage. “You were the one who wanted to see how different it was.”

Another huff was released and then Pat rolled his eyes so dramatically his whole head got involved in the action, but he did start to lift himself off the bed. 

Pran only realised what a mistake he’d made when Pat was already looming in front of him. Then Pat was leaning forwards and Pran was caged in, one of Pat’s hands on the desk next to him to steady himself and the other reaching for Pran’s cheek. It found it with a gentleness that was foreign, strange. Pran’s lungs pulled in short, sharp breaths through his nose as Pat’s long fingers settled around his ear and he was pinned by Pat’s uncertain gaze.

He waited for him to call it off, convinced that this alone would be enough to make Pat retreat, that he would pull back, laugh, shake his head, proclaim how weird it was, but instead… instead…

Instead Pat’s eyes fell shut and his head tilted and he bowed lower and lower until his lips made contact with Pran’s. The touch was soft but without hesitation, lips slipping open to catch Pran’s between them. Then, already, they were pulling away, leaving Pran’s mouth cold and wanting. Pran flicked his eyes open, not sure even when he’d closed them, and watched as Pat opened his own, slow and unfocused.

“You call that a kiss?” The question was supposed to be scathing, mocking, anything that brought them back to their status quo, but Pran’s voice was suddenly hoarse and breathless, as though he hadn’t spoken in weeks and his throat was parched. 

There was no hiding the want in every syllable.   

“What would you call it?” Pat asked. To Pran’s devastation, he sounded just as rough.

“Barely anything,” Pran replied, his voice half a whisper as adrenaline flooded through his veins. 

Because he knew what he was going to do next. 

And he knew there was no way of stopping himself even if he tried. 

As if the want inside of him had torn into his limbs, seizing control, his hand shot up and grabbed Pat by the back of his head. He dragged him down, no gentleness, no subtlety, no mercy. He ransacked Pat’s mouth like a thief ripping through a household, eager to take everything he could before occupants woke up. 

He didn’t expect Pat to fight back. 

There was no paralysed surprise, no frozen astonishment, Pat let him take and take and take and then stole it all back and more. His hand gripped at Pran’s hair, his teeth nipped and scraped over Pran’s lip, his tongue licked into Pran’s mouth like he wanted to own it. Pran could barely breathe under the onslaught, control slipping away from him as he tried to process the ferocity of Pat’s response. Then all the competition seemed to slip away and they were just kissing, kissing, kissing.

By the time they broke apart, they were both gasping for air. 

Pran looked up at Pat in astonishment, but Pat didn’t look back. His eyes were still closed, forehead bent against Pran’s forehead as he hauled oxygen into his lungs, like he was trying to fix the memory of their kiss in his head forever. The only sound in the entire room was their broken breathing.

Then he smiled, the single most beautiful and most ruinous smile Pran had ever seen, before he opened his eyes. He tilted his head as he grinned down at Pran like they were sharing a secret. Pran felt his mouth respond in kind and Pat’s gaze dipped down, catching on his lips before dragging back up.

Instinctively, deliberately, somewhere in between, Pran’s eyeline dropped from Pat’s captivating gaze to his tempting mouth. His lips were red and puffy, shining with a hint of…

Me, Pran thought. That’s from me. 

And he looked back up in time just to see Pat lean back down and then he was being kissed again. He responded instantly, surging up to steal more of Pat’s taste, and somehow ended up standing, his hands in Pat’s hair. Pat’s arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer, making Pran’s heart jolt as they were pressed together from hip to chest and Pat’s heat bled through their clothes. 

He’d never been this close to another person. Not even the only other boy he’d kissed, who’d sat next to him and kissed him awkwardly, neither of them entirely sure what they were doing. This—Pat—was something else entirely. He felt submerged in him, Pat on his tongue, on his skin, on his body, everywhere and anywhere, all at once, and he sank into him rapturously, a willing victim of his own drowning. 

Pat tugged and Pran followed, edging carefully, unhurriedly, across the floor as their mouths danced to a rhythm of their own making. Then Pat pulled away to drop down onto Pran’s bed, dragging Pran after him. Pran settled eagerly into his lap, unable to resist one little quip before bent his head to kiss him.

“In my bed already, Napat? Are you always this easy?”

“No, you’re just special,” Pat replied breathlessly and then Pran had to devour him. 

Pran didn’t know how long their fourth kiss lasted for but by the time they broke apart, the streetlights outside were turning a burnt umber and Pran’s lips were so sensitive they were tingling. He swallowed weakly, hands still twisted in Pat’s hair, hips almost bruised with Pat’s fingerprints.

 “So. Any differences?” he found himself asking. Pat chuckled breathlessly. 

“Just a few, yeah.” 

Pran smiled back at him, his lips almost sore but in a pleasant way as he curved them upwards. One of Pat’s thumbs had found its way under Pran’s shirt and was rubbing over the skin at the base of his waist. 

“Can we do this again?” Pat asked, eyes dropping to Pran’s mouth. “More than once? Can we do this many times?”

Pran laughed. “How often are you thinking?”

“I don’t know. Once a week? Once a day? Once an hour?” Pat grinned cheekily and Pran’s cheeks were going to ache from how broad his own smile was. 

“You’re gonna wake up every hour, are you?”

“It would be worth it.” That was too much for Pran. He closed his eyes, shaking his head as he laughed again.

“You’re so cheesy.” 

“Pran, I’m serious. I think we should date.” Pat continued earnestly, a smile still colouring his voice like a warm sunset.

Pran opened his eyes, wide and uncertain. Pat looked back at him candidly.

“Pat…That…”

"You don't want to?"

"I… didn't say that." 

Pat beamed, somewhere between delighted and smug and Pran shoved him backwards with more show than force. Pat faked falling anyway, tilting backwards dramatically before bouncing up with a grin. Pran tried not to be affected by it.

“If our parents found it, they would kill us,” he pointed out.

“Why would they need to find out? I sneak into your bedroom almost every week. They’ve never found that out, have they?” 

Pran loved how stubborn Pat was.

“We won’t be able to tell anyone. I mean, anyone. Not even Duke. Not even Pa.” 

“Is this you saying yes? Pran, are you saying yes to me?”

“Who said I’m saying yes,” Pran tried to sound aloof but it was hard when he was still straddling Pat’s lap and his hands had settled on Pat’s shoulders.

Pat’s smile spilled out over his entire face, eyes little more than curved lines as he laughed. “You are. You are saying yes,” Pat told him. Pran didn’t disagree.  

He also didn’t disagree when Pat said they should kiss again. 

~~~

Aaaand done. Don't think about what happens after the concert. @miscellar already made that mistake. Just don't do it yourself.

Anyway I hope you enjoyed it OP! And all the others that come across this mini fic! Look out for an actually edited version of this to appear on AO3 sometime soon....

[mxsonxmountx]

MM x Exam Season

Word count: 804

Requested: Yes/No

Requests: Open/Close

Bold: Mason

Italics: you

AN: I don’t go to uni so i had to look at the grades online, pls forgive me. I had this all typed out on my laptop which was supposed to be longer, then it all got deleted 🙃😭

 -----

You’ve had exams every other day for the past 2 weeks. 2 weeks you haven’t seen your boyfriend Mason, 2 weeks you haven’t seen your family. Being known as masons’ girlfriend had its pros and cons, being in the family and friends area at Chelsea every other week was the best part. Cons? Not seeing him as much as you’d like and the hate. But with both having busy schedules you both came to terms with it eventually. You had your last exam in a weeks’ time, you agreed that Mason could stay for the week since the football season is over. You was in your garden with your books and he was kick his ball up and down on the concrete, you never had an issue with it but the sound was beginning to irritate you more than you thought.

“Mase please can you stop? Just for two hours? Please? I really need to concentrate.” “But you don’t give me attention when you study. I haven’t seen my girlfriend in weeks and all she does is study when I’m around” and with that his ball smashes your laptop “y/n I’m sorry. Please forgive me” you didn’t even stay to accept his apology, you went straight to your study room, locked yourself in and screamed. You had books that you could study from, but all your notes was on your laptop... every single note you made was on there, and now it’s gone. Because of your boyfriend couldn’t wait for a couple of hours for your attention.

——

Before you knew it, it’s was approaching 7pm and you could smell the freshness of something cooking but you hadn’t done any shopping in weeks due to stressing over your exams. “Why have you done this? I told you I’d be okay on a coffee and red bull” “I made it because I can tell that’s all what you’ve had for the past two weeks, I’ve made you a proper home cooked stew. Just like when we was kids, what my mum used to make us both” “I’ll eat it, but after I need to study” “not until I’ve given you a bath, you need to relax. I can tell that your stress levels are through the roof. You don’t need to stress too much you’ve got the final exam and I know that you will pass it without a doubt” just those words made you cry, yes all the stress and build-up of the anxiety hasn’t helped but that just topped it off and you needed a good cry. “I know I know but it’s just all too much for me right now. I’m sorry that I haven’t been replying to your calls, or seeing you properly in the last two weeks but this is the big exam Mase” he hugged you even tighter than before “listen its okay. Once this final exam is over with, we’ll go on holiday. Just you and me. We need some time together we’ve both been stressed and struggling at the moment. We deserve it” you both stay there for a little while longer before deciding to eat.

——

A week later you was awake at 5am, going over your notes that you made, ready to leave for uni at 8am, for the exam to start at 9:15. You was nervous but you could just about keep your nerves to a limit. Going into the hall you felt your phone vibrate and it was a message from mason:

Mase: good luck today angel, we’re all behind you. Go make us all proud. See you soon. Love you xxxxx

You didn’t have enough time to reply but he was definitely your good luck charm. All the weeks of studying is now down to this final exam.

Roughly a month later, it was results day. You wanted everyone to be there with you but it wasn’t possible, so you and Mase decided to set up both laptops (he brought you a new one) and have a zoom call so your family, his family and the Chelsea boys could celebrate with you all at once. You would be getting the results via email, time was going slow, slower than before. Your anxiety was skyrocketing and so was your blood pressure. You kept refreshing your emails from 8:58, you was too nervous to read them out for yourself so Mason read them out for everyone.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the results are in…” “Hurry up Mase please this isn’t helping” “I can proudly say my girlfriend got a…” “It’s not higher than D1 is it?” “A1! You’ve passed baby! You’ve passed!” Everyone cheered, you couldn’t believe it, and you passed all the stress was finally worth it. “I can’t believe I did it, I passed. I’m now officially smarter than my footballer boyfriend” “watch it misses”

[starcrossedxwriter]

Built For Love Part 1 (MBJ x Famous Black OC)

A/N: So this is the official series for MBJ x Charlotte (Famous Black OC) - this will include random moments in their relationship to see how they got to where they are… and I'll do random one-shots like I've been doing in between. Hope you enjoy :)

Word count: 3k

***

“Aye yo, Els! Charlotte!” 

Charlotte whipped around as she walked toward her car on set, finding Michael jogging up to her. The neutral expression on her face curled into a bright smile as he approached her. 

“Did you just call me Els?” She raised her eyebrow. She really only went by one nickname in her life: Charlie and that was reserved for family and friends. She certainly never went by her dreaded middle name, Elsbeth. She despised it, a gift from her absentee mother - whoever met a black girl named Elsbeth? Or any girl for that matter? 

“Yea… your middle name is Elsbeth right? Els for short?” 

She chuckled. “How’d you know that though? And what if I don’t like nicknames?” 

He shrugged and winked at her, causing her to blush a bit. “I’d never reveal my sources. And well… I figured you might make an exception for me?” 

Despite the look of faux annoyance on her face, she could not deny that the nickname had a certain allure on his lips. Well… a lot of things did if you asked her. 

She laughed, playing along with their flirtatious banter for a moment. “Yea… maybe. I might need some more convincing though, Mr. Jordan.” 

“Well let me start now. Let me take you to dinner? A congrats on finishing a long week on set.” 

Charlotte immediately shook her head, laughing nervously. “Thank you but I probably shouldn’t? Need to head home and start reviewing my lines for next week a-and everything.”

She actually did not have many lines to review at all. However, as luck should have it, she and Michael would be filming their intimate scene during the next week. And though Charlotte did not want to show it, it made her anxiety skyrocket. So her vision for the evening was to merely sit at home with a glass of wine and wallow in her anxieties about the upcoming week. But she could not tell Michael that. 

She also would not hate the time to just decompress. Though she had been acting since she graduated from Juilliard, somehow this terrain felt different and more exhausting. She had only done her first tv role a few months before signing on to play Bianca. 

He shook his head. “Come onnnn… You’re gonna be great next week and every day. You’re a natural. You gotta eat dinner right? And I won’t keep you out too late. Promise.”

She wrestled with her internal debate for a few moments. Common sense said she should say no. However, the side of her that was drawn to Michael like a moth to a flame, the side she did not quite understand, was much louder. 

“Fineeeeee… but only because I’m starving,” she added with a playful wink. 

A bright boyish grin took over his features as he led her to his car. Their car ride was filled with lively conversation as they recapped the day on set. She had only known Michael for a few months, had only spent considerable time with him in the last two weeks but something about him put her at ease with every conversation. Since their chemistry test, their banter was effortless and, she will admit, flirtatious but she did not think anything of the latter. Ryan told her that her co-star was a charmer… on screen and off. So she assumed that was just par for the course with him and nothing more. Her character was meant to fall in love with his but she knew they could not. 

But still, it did not stop them from gravitating toward each other all day on set or hanging out in each other’ trailers. Though theirs could never step outside of the bounds of friendship, Charlotte appreciated his commitment to developing a relationship with her outside of their characters. She felt it made their chemistry on screen even stronger. 

Soon, she found herself sitting across from Michael at a back corner booth of a steakhouse. It was late so there were few patrons in the space besides them, allowing both of them to feel more at ease about being in public. Charlotte knew no one would recognize her but Michael had been acting since he was a kid. And last thing she needed was rumors on the internet about them tomorrow. 

“So you've seen me work for a couple weeks, it's my first movie - got any tips for me, super star?” She asked after the waiter dropped off their drinks and took their order. 

He scoffed playfully. “As if you need tips from me.” 

“Why’d you say that?” 

He shrugged, taking a sip of his whisky neat. “You’re almost too good. I've been tryin’ to keep up with you.” 

“I bet you say that to all the girls,” she waved her hand to dismiss his compliment. 

He shook his head. “Nah… haven’t found another girl like you out here.” 

Charlotte looked away from him, his smolder overwhelming. She let out a nervous chuckle before leaving his statement to linger without a response. This is always were the she lost her nerve. Occasionally, he would utter something that made her think their banter was more intentional than she originally assumed. However, she never had the nerve to press it and see if that were true. There was not a world in which someone like him wanted to be with her. And she did not believe in setting herself up for rejection. 

Instead, she simply shook her head and offered him a small grin. “I imagine there are plenty of girls better than me out there.” 

Michael sighed. “I doubt it. So did you always want to act or?” 

Charlotte nodded and sat up a bit straighter, leaning on the table as she spoke. Michael could not help how her face lit up slightly when asked about her work. 

“Y-yea, ever since I saw Audra McDonald in Ragtime when I was younger… My family will tell you I had a flair for the dramatic longggg before then and I did school plays and stuff like that throughout middle and high school. But that was the moment that made me see it as a career, you know? A real possibility for my life. Went to Julliard and then started working on Broadway. I thought I’d do that for the rest of my life… you know musicals and plays. I wanted to be just like her.” Michael noticed how the ghost of a smile on her face as she remembered a past life turned into a frown, her eyes filling with longing and sorrow. “Life just took some unexpected turns when I… h-had to leave New York and move to LA so I switched to tv and movies but acting was always the plan.” 

Michael nodded along as she spoke, quietly noticing her chose of hers. “Had to leave New York,” as if something forced her out. He made a mental note to find out the true story behind that one of these days. 

She paused. “That or owning an ice cream shop.” 

He let out a hearty laugh as her last statement caught him off guard. “An ice cream shop was your back up plan?” 

“Of course. 1. There’s always a market - who doesn’t love ice cream? 2. No one is ever angry in an ice cream shop because it’s amazing. Perfect job honestly.” 

“Can’t argue with that logic. What’s your dream role?” 

“Elphaba… from Wicked,” she answered immediately. For her, there was no other role. “It won’t get me a Tony,” she admitted. “But it’s always been the dream.” 

“Why?” 

“I dunno… the character herself is perfectly written. So layered. And her songs are perfection. That show is a true masterpiece and it’s one of the biggest shows in the world.” She shrugged. “Unfortunately… under that green skin, the actresses don’t look like me. But that just makes me want it more.” She glanced up at him and noticed the way he was staring at her, immediately feeling self-conscious. She coughed and sat back. “S-sorry… here I am just going on and on about myself.” 

“Nah, nah you good. I asked and I like hearing about you.”

She raised her eyebrow in suspicion. “Really?” 

“Yea… what? You don’t like to talk about yourself?” 

“Ehh, nah, not really. Don’t want to bore you.” 

“I don’t think that’s a word I’d ever use to describe you.” 

Charlotte blushed, her nervousness forcing her eyes away from him and onto a painting across the dim dining room. She did not understand how or why he had this effect on her. But whatever he was doing, she did not want him to stop. 

“How’d you feel after today?” He asked, referencing their scene choreography session from earlier. "Ready for next week? I know those scenes are fucking awkward as hell.” 

“Ummm… y-yea yea totally ready,” she muttered, pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth and bit in to it lightly. 

“You nervous?” 

How did he fucking know that?

“What? No, why’d you say that?” 

He leaned forward, a curious expression painted on his face that Charlotte hated that she could not read. “You bite your lip when you’re nervous… o-or anxious I think? You were doing it when we met for our chemistry test… and on the first day of our table read. Right before our scenes all week. Today during our session.”

Charlotte tensed slightly, curious of how he noticed such a subtle tick, something that she thought she was doing a better job of hiding it from everyone. Her eyes fell from his to the table, frustration coursing through her at her own emotions, emotions she wished she had better control over. 

“You are hella observant,” she muttered under her breath as she fiddled with her napkin.

“I’m your scene partner… my job is to know you. And aint shit to be ashamed of. I get anxious too… a lot,” he admitted. 

“Really? You’ve been acting your whole life.” 

He chuckled, his finger drawing patterns in the condensation of his glass. “Yea and shit is still hard. I still doubt myself… still get nervous and shit that I won’t do well o-or will let people down. It helps to talk about it though.” He eyed her for a moment and then asked, “So what makes you nervous about it?” 

Charlotte studied him for a moment, her brain churning to figure out if she wanted to share her deep anxieties with him. It had been so long since she had been vulnerable with someone or confined about her anxieties with someone. She always feared their judgement and pity. And even though she did not know Michael that well, for some reason, she feared his judgement and pity more than anyone else. She could not understand why it mattered so much to her but she wanted him to see her as strong and assured, everything she was not really but tried to put on for the world. She wanted him to like the facade because who she really was did not seem worth his time. 

However, the part of her that craved vulnerability and a safe place to land freed and propelled the words from their cage in the depths of her soul. Something about him felt… safe. And in that moment, the feeling of safety with him felt like relaxing in the warmth of the sun. She wanted to lean into it, not run away from it. Even if it was only between two friends, she craved it and just could not turn away a rare bit of warmth in her cold life. 

“Well…” she chuckled nervously. “I feel so fuckin’ lame saying this but… I’ve never done a sex scene before? A-and I g-guess I just feel more self-conscious than I should. I know it’s just like every other scene but it’s so intimate and,” she shrugged. “A-and there’s shit from the past coming back u-“ she turned and stopped herself, she was getting too real with him now. “I d-dunno. A-and I’m just self conscious about the amount of people who’ll be watching? Like that’s so weird, right? I-I just feel like I'm gonna look stupid. Saying it out loud makes me feel really dumb.” 

He chuckled, ‘Nah it’s not dumb and honestly, this shit is awkward as fuck. We just met two months ago and even though its hella choreographed, there’s a level of trust and intimacy we have to share to sell it. So I think if you’ve never done that shit before, it’s more daunting than people would think.” 

“Thanks for not making me feel stupid about it. That does make me feel better.” 

“Never. Look, my job is also to make you feel as comfortable and safe as you can be in every scene but especially this one. We are gonna be as close as two coworkers can be, I wanna make sure you’re straight. So let me know what you need and I gotchu. I want you to trust me.”  

She smiled over the rim of her glass. 

“I do… trust you,” she responded definitively. And she was surprised at how deeply she felt that in her soul. 

“That’s what I like to hear.” 

***

“Cheers!” Michael offered as he and Charlotte clinked their wine glasses together, a half-empty bottle of red wine sitting on the coffee table of his living room. 

“What are we cheering too?” She asked as she took a sip of her wine. 

He shrugged. “I dunno… to movie set firsts? To finishing one of our hardest scenes?” 

“I like the sound of both of those! Cheers.” She took another sip before sitting her glass down and leaning back, her hand running through her faux locs she had installed for her character. “Thank you for today by the way. You made it super light a-and fun, shockingly.” 

He twisted his face up in faux offense. “Shockingly?? Ouch. I thought every moment with me was fun?” 

“You aight,” she winked at him before grabbing the bottle to refill her glass. “I was actually surprised at how few folks were on set also. The way Ryan talked when we first went over it, it seemed like the whole crew would be there.” 

At Michael’s silence, she eyed him suspiciously as he nodded and glanced off to the side, scratching the nape of his neck. 

“You know something about that?? Tell me!” 

“Alright fine, I wasn’t gonna tell you but I ain’t gon’ lie to you either. When you said you were nervous about people watching, I texted Ryan and asked him to close the set. I didn’t tell him you asked o-or were anxious about it,” he clarified as he watched the heat rise in her cheeks from embarrassment. “I j-just reminded him that it was your first time on a movie set a-and we shouldn’t assume you’ve done a scene like that before. I hope that’s ok? I’m sorry if I overstepped. Just wanted you to feel more comfortable.” 

Charlotte tilted her head as she studied him for a moment. Part of her thought she should be mad at him for making requests on her behalf but she wasn’t? She found the action maddeningly kind and endearing if anything. That he took her words to heart and actually tried to help her be more comfortable. That he was silently working behind the scenes to make her feel safe.

Michael took her silence for anger. “You’re upset. I’m sorry, Charlotte. I over-“ 

“N-no. Don’t apologize!” She let out a breathy chuckle before adding. “I’m not upset. It just…that just might be the sweetest thing a fellow actor has ever done for me.” She leaned over and squeezed his hand, the heat from his body warming her hand. “Thank you. I really appreciate it.” 

He turned his hand over in hers and squeezed back, offering her a nod and smile. Charlotte’s eyes fell from his down to their connected fingers, heat rising in her at the simple touch. She felt it every time, even among the most innocent of touches, pure desire and electricity. Her mind drifted back to feeling his hands on her body earlier that day. The palms of his hands was rough and callous but today proved that his touch was anything but. It was strong and gentle. And she knew it was wrong but she left set today craving more of it, yearning for more of him.

Something in her snapped back to reality, forcing her to rip her hand from his quickly. She cleared her throat and busied herself with her glass of wine. 

“A-anytime,” he offered quietly, seeming equally as frazzled by their touch as she was. 

“I-I should head back to my apartment,” she whispered, deciding it was best to remove herself from his presence before she drank anymore wine and lost anymore of her sensibilities, which felt as if they were hanging on by a thread as it was. “T-Thanks for the wine.” 

“I’ll walk you out.” He stood and stretched lightly before walking her to his door. 

She slid on her shoes as he grabbed her coat from his closet. 

“Thank you again for today, seriously. You are the best scene partner a girl could ask for.” 

He closed the gap between them and wrapped her in a tight welcomed hug. Her arms wrapped around his broad shoulders as his hugged around her waist. She knew this was the exact type of touching she was leaving to avoid. But for the briefest moment, she remembered what it was like to have intimacy with someone else, to feel secure and whole in their arms. 

They both lingered in their soft touches for longer than they should have. Charlotte let out a content sigh as he rubbed soothing circles on her back and held her, her forehead falling gently against his chest. 

She was the first to break their sweet, hidden moment, the high tide of longing in her building to places too strong to be contained. She couldn’t allow herself to fall any deeper into this - whatever it was - for a million different reasons. He would never reciprocate it and she would never deserve it if he did. Why bait misery? 

She lifted her head from his chest to stare at him, his grip around her body didn’t loosen or move. They just stared at each other. Before Charlotte could say a word, his lips were on hers. She didn’t return it at first, her whole body paralyzed from shock. But it only took a few seconds for her to return it fervently. 

There was a small arch in her back as their mouths explored each other for the first time. She could feel a cloud of desperation and need settling around them. She had kissed him before, however, this - without the mechanics of acting guiding them - felt entirely different. This was pure bliss, his lips casting a fog over her brain that stopped the formation of any thought unrelated to the man in front of her. His tongue danced with hers as they moaned lightly into each other’s mouths. She never wanted this moment to end. 

But it did. He leaned back briefly, a need for air overcoming his desire to consume the woman in front of him. He wanted all of her for the rest of his life. Michael had kissed many women in his life but none had ever felt like that before. He had tried his hardest to keep his feelings at bay, to give her space and not push. When he realized he wanted to pursue a real relationship with Charlotte, he vowed to wait until filming concluded so she would not feel obligated or pressured to date him. He wanted her to want him as much as he wanted her. And some moments, he felt it so strongly and in others, he felt her pull away from him, causing him to doubt himself.

But the more moments he spent with the woman in his arms, the harder it was to keep those feelings at bay. Every moment with her was kindling to this fire and tonight was proof that it would only grow out of control if they did not finally choose to acknowledge that it was there.

With the brief reprieve to catch her breath, Charlotte’s desires quickly faded into embarrassment. 

What the fuck did you just do?

“U-um I’m sorry, s-so sorry, Michael,” she whispered as she took a step back from him, his arms releasing her from his web. She avoided his eyes as she grabbed her coat from the floor where it fell. Suddenly, the plain white walls of the front hallway in his temporary apartment seemed far more interesting than the shell-shocked man in front of her. “D-don’t know what came over me. I-I should go.” 

She quickly walked around his body and out the door, leaving him paralyzed and confused in his doorway. And by the time he regained his wits about him, she was gone. 

Charlotte slid into her car and let her head fall onto her steering wheel with a wave of shame and embarrassment. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Charlie??” She whispered to herself while one silent question oscillated through her mind: Why couldn’t things ever be easy? 

Part 2

Taglist: @certifiedlesbianbaddie @bangtanxmegan @reelwriter19 @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @msniaimani @hi888888sworld

A/N: Thanks for reading! Leave a comment with your thoughts and let me know if you want to be tagged!

[ivorydragoness44]

Doctor Leonard McCoy x Reader: Practice

Word Count: 766 Warnings/Notes: Established new romantic relationship, a little angst in the Reader being initially anxious to kiss Leonard for the first time, eventual kissing. Patient and understanding Leonard. Use of pet name: darlin’. Summary: The Reader and Leonard are studying, but he’s having a difficult time. Through the Reader’s intent listening encouragement, Leonard wants to kiss the Reader for the first time but finds that they are very much new to such a thing.

~~~~  ~~~~  ~~~~  ~~~~

   Starfleet Academy, the highway to your future and your current state of anxiety. Some of the time, at least. Studying, learning, everything was essential and crucial.    The unexpected, however, was the man now standing in front of you. Friends, you expected with great hope during your time there. A caring partner was not even on your list of expectations or what-if scenarios.    Doctor Leonard McCoy paced through your assigned dorm room before making his way back to you. “How the hell am I supposed to memorize, much less learn, these star maps? No matter how they arrange the stars on these maps, they all look the damn same.” The crease on his brow was beginning to appear permanent, and his face flushed in his state. “Charting stars, maps, whatever the hell they are, I can’t do. The human body, any body, is far easier. Gimme a medical problem and I’ll solve it. But this,” he sighed. Looking at you now, his brows furrowed differently, his eyes softer. “Are you just letting me vent, or are you that great of a listener?”    “Both,” you smiled, coaxing out one of his own. “You can’t force the information into your brain. You need to take it slow.”    Leonard huffed, “There’s a test in two weeks.”    “You know what I mean. Maybe…put it into a medical perspective or something in terms that you’ll understand. Like, pretend it’s parts of a body. Whether it be the stars as blood cells…or a nebula or a star cluster as tissue, whatever works for you.” Moving, you stood up and took a step toward him. “I mean, come on, Leonard, you’re ridiculously smart. You’re a doctor and a surgeon for more than just humans, you’ll figure this out. Just give yourself the time that you need.”

   Leonard ducked his head and smiled for a moment. As he looked back into your eyes, he placed his hands to your arms and slid them down to hold your hands. “You, darlin’, are the absolute sweetest. I don’t remember meeting someone as encouraging as you, ever.”    Taking a step closer, he was very much in your personal space. You caught the way his eyes darted down to your lips more than once, making your heart-rate pick up. After a moment, you realized that you started to do the same thing. As he leaned in slowly, you could feel your heart pounding throughout your chest. Your nerves were skyrocketing.   When his eyes began to close and his breath was upon you, you moved. In the next second, your hand was on his chest. Palm flat, yet firm. “Wait,” you squeaked out quietly.    Leonard stopped. With his head pressed lightly to yours, he waited.    A breath passed between you. “I’m sorry,” you said hardly above a whisper.    “No, no. Don’t be. Talk to me. Was I…coming on to strong?”    “No, I-just-…I’ve never been in a relationship before, so I don’t really know how to do the whole..kissing thing.”    At your open honesty, he smiled fondly. “We don’t have to rush into anything, especially if you’re uncomfortable. I’m certainly in no rush, darlin’.”    “Thank you, Leonard. I appreciate that.”    “May I kiss your cheek?”    You looked down briefly, feeling a rush of bashfulness. “Yes.”    Moving steadily, as to not startle you, he pressed a soft kiss to your cheek.    “I guess I just have to get used to this sort of closeness,” you said. “Well, not need to, but I want to.”    He gently nuzzled his face by yours. “Well, if you ever need someone for the practice—”    You laughed at his words. “Leonard, you’ll be the only one.”    “I promise not to let it get to my head.”    Tentatively, you kissed his cheek.    He brought your other hand to his chest. “Do you want to try? I’m probably not the best teacher, but I sure as hell will try.”    You gave a small nod. “Okay.”    His hands delicately cupped your face. Such warm hands.    Your heart-rate had since slowed. Feeling unhurried, and not surprised. Lips brushing softly over yours, you attempted to duplicate the action. After the third, you felt him smile before pressing more firmly and taking up your upper lip between his. You replicated the action with his bottom lip.    Humming, he whispered with a stronger southern drawl. “Darlin’, you had nothing to worry about.”    “I guess I’m just a fast learner,” you said with a shy smirk.    Leonard kissed the tip of your nose tenderly. “Well, my lips will be waiting for whenever you have the time.”

~~~~  ~~~~  ~~~~  ~~~~

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, maybe consider reblogging?

[pinkcannibal]

Could I request a Marilyn Thornhill x Reader, where reader is having a really terrible day because a series of horrible stuff keeps happening to Reader (For example reader's class work goes mising, her friend stands her up, something spills on reader's outfit and so on). Reader just ends up hiding in her room for the rest of the day. Marilyn notices that reader is missing, she goes to check on reader. Reader kind of jokes that she might be curse and that Marilyn should avoid her. Of course Marilyn doesn't like hearing that. So she does what she can to help reader feel better (I'll leave what kind of relationship Reader and Marilyn have up to you).

a/n so sorry for the wait! i promise im not ignoring requests just needing to find time to write them :) just wanna say as per most of my fics or requests reader is a student and 20. for this prompt its pre relationship. if you’re familiar with my writing i write marilyn not as laurel gates, but having laurel gates uhhh tendencies? so if requested otherwise that's her characterisation, i do also write for canon laurel gates!

-

title: it'll all work out

pairings: marilyn thornhill x fem!reader

tw/warnings: none kinda! just fluff, comfort, and mild panic attacks

summary: you can't cope with the intense wave of what the day throws at you, skyrocketing you into anxiety. and taking comfort in miss thornhill is the only thing that brings you back down

word count: 2160

requests: open!

It starts out like this.  

This morning, you slept through your alarm and were late for your Wiccan History class; so late you may as well not have showed up. And no attempt of explaining your situation stopped you from being handed a detention slip from your teacher- your ears burned in embarrassment at the action.

Then, two hours later, Wednesday made a seemingly inoffensive comment about your class work during a dissection and it was the way she said it that made you feel like all your hard work was actually unintelligent, uninspiring, and not worth handing in. And to top it all off, on the way to lunch, a tall, imposing fur accidentally bumped into you and you dropped your phone; cracking it right down the middle and making tears burn behind your eyelids when you picked it up because today sucks and nothing’s gone right and it times like this you wonder why you ever enrolled in this academy in the first place.  

Then it all comes fucking crashing down because when you finally, finally make it to your table, Enid reaches across the way with all her usual exuberance and excitement because her girlfriend Wednesday sits down across from her and she- 

Enid gasps, eyes wide and panicked as her thermos filled with hot coffee pours over the table and across to you. It soaks the class notes you were working on, just melting the ink of 4000 words from Botony class that you were slaving over and you immediately jump up, lips parting in shock as you move back from the liquid.

But it scalds your uniform, your skirt, and barely misses your thighs and you don’t even realise your eyes are being overcome with fresh tears until Enid exclaims.  

“Oh my god I’m so so sorry!” Enid rushes out, reaching out and picking up her thermos before it can go any further. Wednesday next to her widens her eyes, shuffling over slightly as it drips through the cracks in the table. 

You snap out of your shock, making a noise of panicked frustration.

“No, no no no shit-” You hiss, picking up the ruined essay and immediately dropping it at the temperature. But the damage is done, and you make this tiny noise that sounds like a pained whimper when you squeeze your eyes shut and run your hands through your hair, resigning to all that work being ruined. You bite your lip, so hard you want to taste blood. 

Enid, wide eyed and apologetic, looks like a kicked puppy at the mess she accidentally caused. “I-I am so sorry. Seriously, I was just-” 

A tear falls down your cheek. Fuck, could this day get worse?  

“It’s o-okay, Enid, you didn’t mean to.” You breathe out, trying to reign in your distraught panic attack that’s looming. The rest of the table, Yoko and Divina, look at you with matching pitying looks.   You flush and gather your things, unable to stomach their concern that feels like acid in your belly.  

“Um, look, I’ll see you guys later?” You rush to say, breath becoming laboured. “I just, I n-need to-” 

“Hey,” Yoko softly interjects. “Really, it’s okay, do you want one of us to come with you?” 

You shake your head, clutching your laptop and ruined notes that don’t matter anymore to your heaving chest. “No,” You blurt, pressing your lips together apologetically, then retrying. “No, I’m okay. I’ll um, I’ll see you guys at recess.”  

You leave quickly, the anxiety building and building so quickly you feel like you’re going to cry if someone so much as touches you. Your throat bobs on a sob wanting to escape, and you rush to your dorm and on the way scrunch up the essay in your hands and throw it in a nearby trash can and so distracted by your impending panic you don’t look up until it’s too late.  

You bump hard into someone, gasping and losing your footing immediately. You don’t hit the ground or fall, because two warm, comforting hands are righting you at your biceps and steadying your feet. “Fuck, sorry I-”  

When you look up, you blush, because- 

“Oh dear, are you okay?” Miss Thornhill breathes out, startled by the bump but covering it up with a polite smile that has your knees just, instantly weak. She’s wearing that green coat and red boots; she smells like the earth and rain and something so comforting you warm.  

Her hands haven’t left your arms and you feel even more unsteady and now because she’s here you feel like crying all over again.  

“Are you okay, honey?” She says, this little concerned furrow of her brows thrown your way and you part your lips trying to say something, but your eyes are glassy with tears and she called you honey, and you feel all melty and gooey inside.  

“Gosh,” She says, righting her glasses from the knock and softly chuckling. “I didn’t see you, I’m so sorry, you just came out of no-” 

“I-I’m okay,” You say softly, shifting on your feet. You watch Marilyn tilt her head worriedly at your shaking voice, and almost as if realising her touch, she delicately removes her hands, placing them in her coat pockets instead. You blush with how much you want them back on you.  

“Sorry,” You smile back slightly, clearing your throat. “I didn’t see you either. I’m just...super late for my next class.” 

You try and lie to save face, because you’re three seconds away from bawling your eyes out, but Miss Thornhill does this adorable scrunch of her nose, checking the inside of her wrist for her watch as she frowns.  

“Is that so?” She chuckles out endearingly, looking back up to you and sending you a raised eyebrow. “Your next class is mine, funny enough. If anything, you’re half an hour early.” 

“Oh,” You blush, stuttering as you realise the hole you dug. Marilyn sends you an amused look as you flounder. Then everything just- falls into you. The detention. Wednesday’s comment. Your phone. Your essay. The anxiety. And how just one concerned look from Miss Thornhill has you feeling like splitting at the seams.  

“I-I uh, must have gotten my timetable mixed up?” Then you sniff and bring your blazer sleeve up to your nose, shutting your eyes in mortification as your throat bobs and you whine on a cry. “Shit, s-sorry I just- I can’t-” 

“Oh, dear.” Marilyn breathes out in sympathy, watching you crumble inside of yourself and choke on a cry that bubbles past your lips. You can’t look at her, wiping at your eyes in frustration as you cry in the middle of the hall to the other woman like some pathetic child.  

“Sweetie,” She says softly, full of so much care and concern that you look up and flush red at how her hazel eyes are the most gentle you’ve ever seen them.  

Then she’s placing her hand at the small of your back, hushing you sweetly. “Are you okay?” She says kindly. 

You bite your lip, swallowing thickly as more tears escape. You shake your head, too vulnerable for words as you tighten your laptop and books in your grip against your stomach.  

Marilyn notices the reaction, eyebrows furrowing in worry.  

“Okay, you’re okay,” She says, coaxing and warm, and your neck goes red at the tone. “Do you want to talk about it? We can go to my classroom, it’s nice and quiet there, would that be okay?” 

The way she asks for your consent, how loving she sounds, sends you into a space you feel dizzy in. You nod softly, doe eyes looking up through your wet eyelashes to her. “I...Yes, please.” You breathe out, filled with so much relief your heart aches, pooling and pooling when her hand rubs in soothing circles to your lower back – something that sends shivers up your spine.  

- 

Miss Thornhill makes you chamomile tea from her own garden in the conservatory, and when she hands it to you her fingers brush yours and you feel unsteady again and the tears are back then she says “You’re safe here, nothing can hurt you, sweetie. Are you okay? What happened?” and it spills from your lips like water.  

At the end of it all, Marilyn is giving you this tender look, like she’s yearning to fix everything that’s wrong; and your hands are tight around the tea mug from where you sit perched on one of the desks, shaking as you stutter and speak through your tears. 

“And then Enid, she-” You whine, a frustrated noise leaving your lips at the memory as you screw your eyes shut. “She spilled coffee on my essay for your class and it was already late because you were nice enough to give me an extension but now it’s ruined and I feel like I keep fucking up and just-”  

“Darling,” Miss Thornhill interjects softly, stepping forwards and ducking her head slightly to catch your gaze. Darling. Darling. You feel your lower belly swarm with need at the term as you blink back at her in bashfulness. The other woman then gently unwraps your hands from around the scalding tea and places it beside you.  

Instead, she takes them in her own, rubbing softly and gently into your palms as your breath hitches and cheeks warm.  

“Shh. It’s okay. Take a deep breath for me, okay?” She says warmly, and you instantly copy her as your eyes flick down to her chest, rising with a breath that calms you instantly.

“That’s it, good job, honey.” Marilyn smiles kindly to you, and the soft praise has your throat drying and stomach flipping as you look back up and bite your lip.  

“I’m so sorry that happened,” She murmurs sincerely, eyes so genuine and kind behind her glasses that you almost forget how close she is right now. She’s almost between your legs with how she holds you, and your chest picks up at the thought. “That sounds like an awful, terrible day, sweetheart.” 

Oh. Okay. You’re floating now, you’re sure of it. 

“Yeah,” You breathe out, shifting in your spot, earnestly trying to get impossibly closer to her. If Marilyn notices, she doesn’t comment, but she dosen’t move away. “It was.”

You wince then, groaning and blushing when you remember. “And I’m really, really sorry about the essay. I can get it finished tomorrow if I-” 

Miss Thornhill snorts, shaking her head in amusement at you and fixing her glasses. “Oh gosh, that’s hilarious if you think I’m worried about that.”  

You widen your eyes, tilting your head. “What?” You stammer. “But, it’s worth like, twenty percent and I’m already two weeks late.” You stress. Marilyn squeezes to your hands, softening at your words.  

“There is no way I’m making you redo it after the day you’ve had, okay sweetie?”  

You part your lips, heart so heavy with love for her it stuns you. And you don’t really know what to do other than feel tears well in your eyes again, and suddenly your chest goes weightless and you dart forwards, wrapping Miss Thornhill in a hug, arms slinging over her shoulders.  

It forces her so close to you, you almost pull back as you feel her front pressed between your legs and brushing up against your thighs - and before you can die of embarrassment at how needy for her affection you feel, Miss Thornhill is making this noise of surprise at your action, a tender “Oh,” leaving her lips that feels like cotton candy inside your lungs. 

But then her arms are wrapping back around you.  

You feel her breath hitch as you bury into the soft spot of her neck, squeezing your eyes shut and holding tight. Marilyn holds back, hands soothing up and down your back as you cling to her.  

“It’s okay,” She coos, next to your ear and making you melt. 

“You’re okay.” Marilyn says softly. “I’m here.” 

[im-a-wonderling]

The Chosen One ~ Anidala

Well...I don't often write ficlets, and if I do, I don't post them. Buuut I was working on Rescue Me, and this just kinda happened, so I hope y'all enjoy.

Warnings: Unedited angst I guess?

Word count: 1.5k

To be the chosen one with no choices.

That’s how Anakin felt, standing on the balcony, fresh off his fourth nightmare this week. He watched the nighttime traffic of Coruscant whirl past, wishing he himself could hop on a ship and run away. He would never be able to describe the relief he’d feel if he and his wife just…left. If their responsibilities ended, and they had the chance to leave, to go to safety, to have their child in peace.

He let out a shuddering breath, trying to get ahold of himself. 

The dream tonight had been worse. He’d seen her die. He’d felt her life…stop. 

His ears caught the soft sounds of padding feet. 

“Go back to bed,” he said quietly. “I’m fine.”

The feet only came closer. He closed his eyes, a fleeting smile gracing his lips. He should’ve known better.

“Ani,” Padmé said softly. Just his nickname, nothing else.

Arms—his favorite arms in the galaxy—slid around his abdomen, and a face buried into his back. “Come back to bed with me.” Padmé’s coaxing voice lulled him back to sleep like nothing else had, not the excessive exercise, not the staying up until his mind was too tired to manufacture anything, not even sleep aids he’d taken from the infirmary.

Padmé made everything better.

A searing pain started in his chest as he remembered his dreams. 

“I’m not going to sleep anymore tonight.” He meant it. He wouldn’t sleep, even if he had to glue his eyes open. Being exhausted tomorrow was a small price to pay for the hope that he would feel less haunted when the sun came up.

The arms loosened, and Padmé swung around to face him.

The day her beauty failed to make his breath catch was the day his heart no longer beat. Her warm brown eyes held more power over him than anything else in this world. The rosiness of her cheeks reminded him of her luscious home planet of Naboo, and she was now more his home than the desolate planet on which he’d first fallen in love with her, thirteen years ago. And her hair?

He reached up to touch one of her curls, running it between his fingers with a sort of juvenescent fascination. 

Padmé studied his face. “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t answer. He knew his wife well enough to recognize the alarm in her face, but he didn’t want to give voice to the horrible images he’d seen, not in the presence of his angel. 

“If you don’t tell me what’s bothering you,” she said, her voice like balm on a burn, “then I can’t help you.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “The longer I can’t help you, the longer we’ll both be out here, not sleeping.”

How anyone in the Senate could resist Padmé’s silver tongue, Anakin didn’t know. He certainly was never able to begrudge her anything for long.

Padmé’s hand found Anakin’s hair. She didn’t smooth it down or comb through it, but just sank her fingers into the soft locks, holding onto as much of it as she could. “Talk to me.”

He shut his eyes, leaning into her touch. He hadn’t realized how much he needed it. “The dreams–” he broke off. “They won’t stop.” 

He felt Padmé lean away from him, and the distance made his anxieties skyrocket. 

“Ani, I’m not going to die in childbirth.” Her voice, while loving, was stern, and he hated it.

“How can you be so sure?” he asked, his voice shaking, opening his eyes again. “How can you discount–”

“Listen to me.” Padmé lifted her chin, the same way she did in Senate meetings when she was about to end a discourse. “I’m fine. All my check-ups have been normal.”

“My mother died,” Anakin croaked. “I dreamed it, and it happened.” He reached out for her, his hands settling at her waist. “I…I can’t survive losing you,” he confessed. “Without you–” his voice cracked. “Without you, there’s nothing left in this galaxy for me.”

Padmé remained still in his arms. He knew she was formulating the right thing to say, but he didn’t want her to say anything, for how could she have a solution if she didn’t even believe in his dreams in the first place?

“Anakin, if I die–” Anakin shrank away from her, unable to bear it, but Padmé walked after him, her eyes blazing with stubbornness. “You have to let me finish.”

“If you die, I die!” He knew he was being too loud, but there was no way to say these things quietly. “I won’t even think of living without you!” 

Padmé’s retaliation was sharp. “Do not condemn this child to a life without a mother or father!”

Anakin froze. 

Padmé drew nearer, reaching out for him, pressing Anakin’s metal and flesh hands to her belly. “If I die, this baby will need you more than ever.”

Anakin furrowed his brow. 

“You’re not only a husband anymore,” she said softly. “You’re a father now too.”

Father.

Anakin blinked. 

He hadn’t had a father. Obi-Wan had been the closest thing, and Anakin was already nine years old when Obi-Wan came into his life. 

A different fear gradually came into Anakin’s mind.

“What if I’m a horrible father? What if the baby hates me? What if it goes hungry? My mother did the best she could for me, but…there were times when we both went to bed hungry, times when Watto took advantage of us.” He shut his eyes, overwhelmed both by the memories and the compassion in Padmé’s face. 

Padmé’s soft and cool fingers ran comfortingly down his face. “You’re not on Tatooine anymore. And the baby won’t hate you. It’s half of you and half of me.”

Anakin didn’t reply at first, the gears in his mind turning. “I’m a Jedi. I don’t make any money, and the council wouldn’t let me raise the baby in the temple, not without me telling them I’m the father, and if I did that–” 

Anakin had to choose. He had to make the choice which hovered over him for years, the sacrifice he’d avoided being forced to make. 

The Order or his family.

Obi-Wan, the Jedi Temple, and Anakin’s very way of life or Anakin’s mother, his wife, and his baby. 

He tried to imagine the two different paths.

If Padmé died, the baby lived, and Anakin didn’t step forward, their baby would likely be sent to Padmé’s parents on Naboo. Her parents were unaware of their daughter’s marriage, and Anakin’s child would live with no clues as to their father’s identity. Meanwhile, Anakin, wracked with grief, would devote himself to the Order and bring peace to the galaxy, as the Chosen One was prophesied to do. 

However, if Anakin did step forward…he didn’t know the first thing about parenting. He didn’t know anything about babies, how to keep them healthy and entertained. He would flounder and perhaps fail miserably multiple times. But Anakin had always been a quick learner, and if he made up his mind, eventually he would figure it out. 

He could show his child the galaxy, teach them all he knew about piloting and fixing things. They would meet all kinds of people from all walks of life. And he would tell them stories. He’d tell them about wise Master Qui-Gon Jinn and powerful Obi-Wan. They’d learn all about the Clone Wars. They would know all about their strong, beautiful mother, and they would live every day knowing that both their mother and father loved them. 

But he’d be separated from the Order. 

Neither future was perfect. Neither one felt like destiny. 

But that wasn’t the way to think about it, Anakin could see that now. The Order could continue without him. Obi-Wan could continue without him. If Padmé died, their baby would need him. 

He opened his eyes again, suddenly calmly resolute. “If the worst happens, and you…you die, I’ll leave the Order.” His wife’s wide eyes told him she understood the weight of what he was saying. “Anything you could ever ask of me, I would do,” he told her. “And I will provide anything and everything our baby needs.”

“Anakin–”

“Without you and our baby, there’s nothing else for me,” he said simply. “Without the two of you, it all means nothing.”

“I–”

“I know, it’s a little bit crazy, but–”

“That’s not what I was going to say.” Padmé looked up at him. “I was going to say I love you.” 

“Oh.” Anakin let out a long breath. 

The pinch telltale of worry appeared between Padmé’s eyebrows. “Ani, are you sure about this?”

He brought his hands to her cheeks, holding her in place while he kissed the adorable scrunch. “Yes.” Padmé’s arms wrapped around him, holding him so tight, he couldn’t think of anything but her, just what he preferred.

Neither one of them spoke for a while. 

Then, wordlessly, Padmé led him back to bed. When Anakin settled under the covers and closed his eyes, he was still afraid, but he knew that if he woke up from another nightmare, he would wake up to see the woman he loved and remember the promise he’d made her. Because, as it turned out, the chosen one did have choices.

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