#much more to say about this movie but thats it for now
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Heyyy I saw you’re taking request so here’s a fun one! Can I request a hurt/comfort Thanos x reader post games fic? A soft reunión if you will! Obviously an AU where either the X votes win OR where Thanos actually survives his supposed death and gets out. I’m thinking he and the reader got super close during the games but completed lost track of each other afterwards. And one day they just do happen to reunite ☺️
a/n: hi anon!! thank u so much for requesting!! i keep rewatching squid game js for thanos i have a problem
warnings: light drug use, mentions of addiction, i think thats it but please tell me if i missed something!
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you don't know how you got into this mess, how you managed to get into a deal so bad that it put you in deep debt. which brought you here, with all these people. in green tracksuits, all of them reduced to a number rather than a name
'it's okay, i'll play a few games, get my money and finally get back to my life' you think to yourself, fiddling with the sleeves of your jacket as you look around nervously. you don't know what this was, some form of pyramid scheme--gambling den? whatever it was, it didn't exactly bring ease to your mind
you're startled by the sudden sound of someone behind you, tapping your shoulder. you look back and see a man with purple hair, smiling like an idiot. you furrow your eyebrows, who the hell was this guy?
"seniorita excuse me" he says and smirks, "couldn't help but see you over here, all nervous--please, i know i'm too hot to handle but im sure.." he trails off and looks over you once, twice, before looking back at your face, "you can handle it" he says and you raise your eyebrows, repulsed by his actions. you back away
"who the hell are you?" you say, grossed out by this clearly overly confident guy
"im a legend!" he says and makes a little pose with his hands, "thanos." he says and wiggles his fingers, showing off the different colors of each nails
"thanos?" you scoff, "as in...that guy from the movies?" you say and he nods, wiggling his fingers even more to really emphasize the so called infinity stone colored nails
"don't worry seniorita! i have all the power in the world to protect you from these demons!" he says and surrounds you, looking at the people around you exaggeratedly, all of whom don't even spare him a second glance, clearly busy with their own problems
"uh...yeah thanks. im okay" you say and begin to walk away, to the crowd where everyone was listening to the instructions and such.
soon, you were all in the large sandy field, spreading out to begin the game. red light, green light they said. all of this just seemed...too easy. there has to be some catch, there's no way you play some child's game and walk out with billions of won
when you go around and take your place, you can hear running, and you look behind you to see none other than that same purple haired freak that was desperately trying to reach you. you roll your eyes and turn away but he was quick to get beside you
"phew! thought i wasn't gonna get to you in time" he says, as if it you two planned to be playing together or something, "don't worry, we'll play these games together--then you, me, billions of won in our hands. you think our kids would be proud of their appa for protecting their eomma and making sure she wins too?" he says and you just raise a brow, huh?
"who said we're playing together?" you say and begin to move away but to your luck, the game begins, and you have no choice but to stay frozen in place. where, thanos was right beside you, smiling triumphantly at the fact that you were still here
as the game begins, the players all seem to be moving calmly, nobody had lost till now. and it was all very relaxed, huh, maybe this wasn't as bad as you thought
but your relaxation went as quickly as it had come. a woman, not too far ahead of you, had a bee fly on her neck. a man beside her informed her about it and she--like any other person, panicked and moved, making her the first loser.
like in any other game, if someone lost they leave the game. so everyone expected her to just walk out, but as soon as she moved, a loud shot was heard. and you froze, the sight of her, falling to the ground--bullet to her head with blood already beginning to pool, you panicked.
what the hell was this? you knew this wasn't right! you knew there was a catch--but this? your heart raced, barely able to hear anyone with you. you watched helplessly as people began running and screaming, each one who moves an inch dies instantly by the shots firing from the sky.
you ran with every inch of strength you had, and just as the giant robotic doll stopped singing, you stopped. a tear streaming down your cheek, but you were too slow to realize--you were about to fall right when she turns her head.
you closed your eyes, accepting your fate. but somehow, you feel yourself still. you open your eyes, your chest heaving, you look down, seeing a pair of feet right beside you, probably the person holding you up
"don't move...okay? i got you" you hear the person say and you instantly know who it is, the same purple haired weirdo that had been trying to flirt with you earlier. his voice is...different though. it's not as cocky as it was before, you could hear a slight tremor, he's probably just as scared as you are
"th...thank you" you whisper out with tears streaming down your cheeks, the two of you continued on. holding on to each other as the game kept going, as soon as you finally reached the finish line, you hugged him tightly.
"thank you...thank you so much" you cry softly, so grateful. you thought he was just another guy that would probably let you die if it meant he wins, but to your surprise he wasnt.
he was a bit taken back by the sudden hug, but hugged you back. "i told you ill make sure you win too didn't i?" he says and you two pull away, and you smile half heartedly. annoyed by the reminder of his remark earlier, but still grateful. "i think it would be...kind of a bad story if i tell our kids i let their eomma die" he says and you shake your head, annoyed
soon, everyone was sitting in the room silently. not a single person was speaking, everyone was quiet. processing what they had just been through. you could see everyone had splashes of blood on them, probably from the people that have been shot around them. you sat alone, till you see thanos come and sit beside you
he's definitely not as scared as he was before, more hyper and aware of things. you could see him unable to sit still, sitting beside you while singing something to himself. he looks at you and grins, "im a kind man! ill share" he says and opens his cross necklace, which was fully supplied with candy. clearly not just any candy and probably the thing making him so hyper
you raise a brow and shake your head, you've been on that road before, it's what got you here. you'd rather not. "thank you...no. not again..." you mutter the last part to yourself, and he slows down his movements, noticing the distant look on your face.
"you try?" he says and you just nod, more to yourself than him.
"you don't wanna get too hopped up on that stuff...it's..not pretty" you say and he instantly closes his necklace, and kind of...just looks ahead, thinking.
soon, the guards come and everyone panics, some people crying and begging for them to spare their life. but the guards just stand there, trying to explain that that's not what's happening. one of the players, 456, suggests the idea that there should be a vote. you look at thanos for a moment
"are you...staying?" you say and he just nods, "i need to! im a legend yknow, this stuff is easy! can't go without my money" he says and you just look down. but he quiets down, "uh...are you?"
you quickly shake your head, "no--no i just...i want to go home." you say and get up to get in line for the vote, and he just follows you.
you vote for x, and go with the group, people cheering for you. thanos was right after you, and you can see him hesitate for a moment. his friend, can be heard telling him to keep playing. but he glances at you, just for a second, and presses x.
why would he do that? but he was in debt, he needs it way more than you do
after that, you woke up in the street. it was all a quick blur, as soon as the votes were counted up. the x votes more than the o. everything fades and you were alone in the street, tied up loosely with your clothes in a pile beside you. you managed to knaw the rope loose, and untied your legs, getting dressed.
the days went by quickly. you don't know what you were doing, but something just felt...wrong. not the games of course, never that. you'd rather die than play them again...but you die in the games too so its not really a good analogy. but anyway, it was just something. you were back on your own, without anyone, as it always was.
and you never did mind. you were used to it, so why was it...so strange now? so wrong?
you roamed the streets of korea, just lost in a daze, not really wondering where you're going. till you reach the arcade that was in the alley, you walk in and bump into someone
"hey! don't you--" the person's voice quickly came to a halt when they looked at you, you looked at them. it was none other than thanos. thanos! you don't know why, or how--but that feeling you've been going through ever since you managed to get out of the games, it was completely gone now.
the two of you looked at each other for a long time, before he smiles. "seniorita! i thought i'd never see you again!" he smiles and jumps around like an idiot. you should be weirded out, leaving and saying you don't want to see this freak again. but you don't. you stay and actually smile back
"this is great! now i have a partner to play with, les gooo!" he says and drags you along with him into the arcade without even giving you a chance to respond. the two of you had spent that time together, playing games and it was actually fun. for the first time you were...enjoying yourself
soon, you were both some convenience store nearby, eating ramen and laughing about how you both suck so bad at playing.
after a while it had grown quiet, and you wanted to just ask.
"...why did you vote x...when we were in the games?" you say and he just kind of looks away for a moment before looking back at you
"well!" he begins, trying to sound cocky, but you can tell he's just putting up a facade, "can't have the future eomma of my kids get hurt now, can i? to not be able...to go home" he says and just looks down, mixing in his ramen
you just look at him for a moment, its all so quiet. he was a freak, a weirdo when you met him. you said to yourself that this guy was clearly another junkie, some asshole thinking hes a big flirt. but right now...all you saw was just...thanos. hes just thanos.
"thank you thanos..." you say, just looking at him, and he stops mixing and looks at you, his cocky expression fading.
"choi su bong...my name...is choi su bong. thanos is just for...the ones i keep at a distance" he mutters and looks down, his hands--as if trying to reach for his cross necklace again, but you can hear him sigh when he realizes its not there
"did you lose it?" you ask and he shakes his head
"no...im not on that stuff anymore. well im trying at least." he says and you're surprised, you're pretty sure just a few days ago he was offering you a full stock.
"why's that?' you ask and he just looks back at you
"it's not pretty" he says, repeating your exact words. "well..still a long way to go but im starting" he says and nods to himself and you just smile
"you can do it...i know you can" you say and--mentally facepalm at what you're about to do, but you don't care that much. you hold up your hands and make the exact same pose he made to you when you were at the games, "you're a legend, thanos! this is easy" you say and he just chuckles at your attempt to imitate him
"yeah well i got you with me seniorita" he says softly, but quickly returns to his cocky expression, "im unstoppable now!"
you don't know what this was exactly. but whatever it is...you were happy with it
#squid game 2#choi subong#thanos x reader#thanos#thanos x you#thanos x y/n#player 230#thanos squid game#squid game thanos#player 230 x reader#player 230 x y/n#player 230 x you#squid game#squid game x reader#bunnywrites<3#choi su bong#choi su bong x reader#choi su bong x you#choi su bong fanfic#choi su bong squid game
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I have noticed that you draw Luke a little…different than most of the dinluke fandom 😅 Is there a particular reason?
Maybe I'm the greatest freak out there and that’s why I'm in disharmony ? Mostly I work with the impression that I get of his character in the Mandalorian, movies and books (except for my crack comics, that is OOC, its crack guys) I think the dinluke fandom clearly prefers his new hope personality than his mandalorian personality but pairing him off with Din in the former gives me serious DiCaprio vibes so I'm just like naaah. I'm also fascinated by his metamorphosis from new hope to the character that he is in the mandalorian because that's HUGE change, and to let him remain static doesn't seem appealing to me personally.
Now Luke was always supposed to be a different kind of hero. One that valued kindness and compassion before violence, a different way to represent masculinity that the typical macho of the 70's (And not in everything because he did A LOT of contradicting shit in the movies) but it seems like the dinluke fandom took those exact traits to say yes, indeed, having those traits instead of the ones like, say, Din Djarin (one that fits these within those traits better) makes you less of a man, less of a hero and thats why his representation in the fandom is mostly, well, of a person that cannot take care of himself much less of other people, among other things.
Or perhaps I'm just reading too much into this and it's just a byproduct of Pedro Pascal being a very attractive man and the author's or fanartist's desperate need to bend Luke's personality to make him more relatable to the author's own so that it can fit the fantasy better. Makes sense I mean wiseass cosmic wizard is not exactly relatable. But I want to believe this is not true because it saddens me deeply the implication that to make someone relatable to oneself is to take away their drive, their powers, their self esteem and capabilities and in turn, to elevate their love interest (Din djarin) so that he's powerful, a king, rich and sexual driven.
Or maybe like I said I'm just full of shit and I'm the freak that can't see the bigger picture. Maybe I'm the fackin Jacqes Audiard from Emilia Perez!! Please understand that I'm stating my opinion and reasoning because I'm being specifically ASKED about it. Mostly I just sit down silently and do mediocre drawings, that's my specialty. Also I'm no social knight I believe in freedom of speech and that everybody is free to write and draw whatever they want, even if controversial or whatever (including criticism and satire).
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watched tbosas today. needless to say i am obsessed with the red uniform skirt and they should have been wearing those the whole movie. thank you.
#tbosas#much more to say about this movie but thats it for now#actually no lets TALK#they literally changed how the games end which is fine but like how is no one noticing#also um clemensia dropped in got bit and thats it?? bye bye? have fun?#also this annoying bitch in my grade said she hates sejanus in the movie but loves him in the book um please get his name out of your mouth#if you're gonna be speaking filth about my son#ugh#anyways um rachel ate#love how the movie can tell the whole story tho i *am* conflicted about my feelings on how fast paced it was#and then again not seeing his inner monologue is a problem but like it's a movie so idk#also ofc the vibe is different between parts 1 and 2 and part 3 idk why people dont like it i think its cool and like thats the point to se#his evolution#sejanus' death was horrible like i'm sorry the mockingjays reproducing his last cries for help are just.#anyhoo#i will not shut up ok let's keep going#ik that like ppl are simping for tom blyth and as u should tbh same but you COULD NOT CHANGE HIM OR FIX HIM IK ITS A JOKE BUT IT BOTHERS ME#SO MUCH#like ik it's being silly and goofy but it just rubs me the wrong way cause like its not true#also Tigris and Snow's story is so fucking sad kms#also TF WAS THAT MOMENT IN THE ARENA WHERE SEJANUS ALMOST KISSED CORYO WE ALL SAW IT OK#sejanus is not straight at all lmao he spent the whole movie batting eyelashes at coryo but ALSO i love the angst of the marcus x sejanus i#idea i made up#also coriolanus is so fucking goofy like bitch pls “mY oLd SeLf. I kIlLeD hIm To Be WiTh YoU” bestie sit down#ok rant over#yelenaposts#sejanus plinth
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thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.
And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.
And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.
And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?
Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.
Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.
#humans are space orcs#humans in space#earth is a deathworld#earth is space australia#tagging this so that ppl can find it even though the space shit i write about always feels like its in direct opposition to all the pop tag#also my biggest pet peeve in all of writing - all writing. everywhere. not just in fanfic but books and tv and movies too - is when people#write off an injury by saying something like 'oh nothing bad just a couple of scratches some bruising and a minor concussion' like girl WHA#MiNOr ConCuSSioN is such an oxymoron and I hate it so fucking much. like i dont care how minor it was thats still brain damage.#especially when the same character does this more than once. like im sorry ms. but uh. you can no longer read. or talk eloquently. sorry#evidence: my brother has had two 'minor' concussions and now cannot read write or speak without tremendous effort. And like its totally#ruined my ability to watch action shows/movies because now i just sit there and count how many concussions there characters are getting#after a certain point it becomes totally impossible to believe that these guys are able to function. (still fun to watch tho im not a hater
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A lil guy !
#honkai star rail#dan heng#genuinely have a million things i wanna draw and then zero energy#so dan heng in a hoodie#now i gotta go get dinner sooooo maybe that will give energy and then i can draw more of what i actually wanna draw#but i kinda spent like ... hours ? talking to my mom earlier today#since shes been in the hospital for many many days#so i was catching her up on whats been goin on and showed her silly lil videos#and telling her how hyped i was for summer hrid and she (very patient with my fe talk)#was like you always tell me about banners being bad so it must have made you REALLY happy to say the whole banner is good#and im like yeah and i had multiple people on multiple sites like hey salmon/moeblob did ya see the banner#and she was like thats so cool that people acknowledge who you like and im like yeah it is p cool#and then i told her how mad i was at the absolutely criminal act of limiting how you can watch clue (1985 hit movie)#like i told her yeah sure i own it twice on dvd and once on itunes and that the only way to watch those#are either desktop or ps2 and how i dont have access to my itunes email#and i dont have it on my laptop so i sadly would have to rebuy the movie on itunes under a new acct#then i said how i loved that it was free to watch with ads on yt and id watched it twice that way#but then recently wanted to watch it on there but laptop and hoo boy you have to buy or rent it now#so i v angrily was like fine whatever ill do the thing and leave my room and go watch it on my moms tv#while she isnt around and use her amazon prime where it should be included except ! IT WASNT!#YOU HAVE TO HAVE PRIME TO BUY OR RENT IT NOW TOO!#HOW ARE THEY DOING THIS AND WHY ! who in the world is watching this movie so much that isnt me that they have to charge for it now#on all platforms unless you straight up pirate it#and hey why would i of all people be needing to pirate a movie i own physically two times and digitally once#this is literally a personalized attack to me#and my mom was like i understand how you feel cause yeah thats really weird to do to a 1985 movie#and im like yes exactly i have morals and principles that make me opposed to this and its v maddening#and she said she understood and its ok next time we are having power issues and i have to shut down#that if i really wanna watch it i can rent it on her amazon account and i looked at her and shes like oh you feel v strongly about this#and i do! I HAVE HAD IT GIFTED TO ME TWICE ! I BOUGHT IT ONCE! WHY DO I HAVE TO RENT IT FOR MORE MONEY!
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super disorganized sketch page because i do what i want
#my art#not sure if i wanna tag these... hrm#i wonder if alt text shows up in search results.... shudders#well anyway. i wanna ramble about these!!#for willy mafton: i've been working on designing more of the human cast. mainly all the big name important ones#it's been a slow process + a little challenging but i like getting the chance to practice drawing faces! :]#in regards to His design specifically.. it's very much based off of his movie apperance#but with a reference to that Classic sprite thrown in#bc i thought making him a little cartoony and inhuman would fit him :] but idk im not an expert on his character or anything#about the rabbit lady: i forgot how i had that idea initially but it ended up looking so fucking cool tbh#im always a fan of making her design less of a feminine eye candy type of design and more of a Spooky Murderer type >:3c#it also gave me the idea to try making some similar designs for the glams...#but if i do that im not gonna be giving them that vintage rubber mask look... since they're meant to be super flashy and high tech looking#so i was thinking they could have faces with more of a silicone texture.. and that have a style based more off of their in game art work :]#so they'd be like giant dolls with weird moving faces rather than having a vintage animatronic look#also that van in the bottom middle is 100% a homage to a specific user i wont be mentioning but iykyk HFJZJFJF#ANYWAY the 🌞🌜 stuff: dont be weird about it please HFJZJG#im aware that these tags are very easy to ignore but like. genuinely pls dont be weird about them#dont romanticize it. its not meant to be ''y/ndere'' or anything like that#its actually a bit personal to me so like... interpret it as you like but be aware its not meant to be a happy or positive thing#anyway i think thats all i have to say... i've been trying to branch out a tiny bit regarding the things i draw#it's always nice to challenge yourself even if its tough... especially if its tough!!#i mainly draw just for my own sake but i hope ppl see something they like here#these tags got so fucking long oops... i'll stop now JFKZJFKSJGKSJG
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Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level#for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda#changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is#don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men#his transness wouldnt change that#only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically.#Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band#is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name;#over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had#he becomes more caring more supportive#it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind#and learns how to be a kinder man.#all of which have no contradictions with him being trans!#In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences#i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways#to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring.#Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL.#at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it#so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine#i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt#but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues#and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does#again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol#AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans#do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model#I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA
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me seeing a dog in the film. immediately pausing and looking up doesthedogdie.com
#HAPPY TO SAY THE DOG DOES NOT DIE THANK GOD THANK GOD AND THANK GOD#THATS WHAT THE DOG WAS FOR LMAO??????????????????#I WAS CONVINCED HE WAS GETTING PAST THE METAL DETECTOR SOMEHOW#were only 40 min into a 2 hr film?????????????????? what the hell else happens???? everything is happening so fast#OK SPOILERS AHEAD. BUT#HE WOULD HAVE SUCCEEDED IF HE HADNT DONE THE FUCKING SPEECH...#<- i guess the point is that he doesnt actually wanna like. murder someone. hands shaking etc.#but man...................... ofc it was too early in the film for him to succeed#and now the fight is so much bloody and worse#arguably thats what hes used to though huh. it seems that hes not used a gun before#mannnnn now i gotta be like does the alphonso die. ohhh#WHYD HE THROW THE GUN#ALSO NEVERMIND ON THE NOT WANTING TO MURDER PEOPLE LOL#awww mate ur about to die of infection.#i guess he wasnt necessarily thinking of an exit plan. like he was supposed to kill this guy even if he died after#but now like. is the guy even actually dead. bet hes still alive#oh hell yeah its trans people time???????#anyways this is patels directorial debut? its fucking awesome i hope he does more movies
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god is swuarshing me beneath his thumb like i am an aphid or perhaps a clover mite. yeah. its slow and painful and im small. and also meek
#just me rambling again#guys. guys i have been just barely scraping by for what feels like so long it's genuinely so overwhelming and confusing and just very#unsettling for me to be having good feelings especially like.. big ones#i kind of feel like im dying ?? not actually physically but my entire brain just really doesn't know what to do#ive got some rational anxieties but also a lot of really stupid small ones just that are so all over my brain#and the cause feels so stupid. ok cool so ur falling for one of ur friends. happens. ok so same friend VERY OBVIOUSLY likes you too. ok ok#a little weirder but something that has happened before#but there's just so much in mybrain anxious abt stuff (ive been forgetting to take my anxiety meds a lot the past week(#idk i just feel like somehow it's not fair to them??#like. being with me or me trying to maybe be with them feels like... im taking away something from them or from their life#even tho we literally talked last night abt dates we really really wish we could go on#and how we obviously would just work well together we're compatible in basically every way#it also would be low pressure not heavy commitment because at the end of the summer we're both planning to move for college things#and she's looking at colleges in New York and nyc and im looking at colleges in oregon or Washington#so yeah.. literally across the entire country from each other#but that almost scares me more bc i have the it will come back hozier type of attachment issues where it's so so difficult for me to ever#let go of things once ive latched on (everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it or whatever) and i really don't want to leave my#claw marks in them bc like. god i really would adore having a thing for however many months we have but im so goddamn scared#that im either not going to be able to let go or one of us is going to detach well before we leave bc thats a reasonable emotional response#and thatll be it's own hell#but also#im 18 almost 19 (and i will make clear that they're in the year below me which also makes me feel really bad but that's a whole other can o#worms there) and its been a long while since ive just. let myself LIVE. ive been the shell of a man for months now. maybe another#stupid and wonderful and beautiful and terrible teenage romance wouldnt be the end of the world.#hell i was so convinced i would never ever ever not be in love with my more recent ex girlfriend and i still love her as a person but im#definitely not still in love with her and our splitting hurt but it was something that i was able to cope with and grow through#idk im rambling a lot longer than i have in a while i just have a lot of feelings right now.#i want to kiss them (again and more) i want to go to a stupid drive in movie and go to museums together and a picnic and all the shit that#we talked about last night and we both love in similar ways and feel our feelings really big and unapologetically#idk i have so much to say but running out of tags on here. double date maybe on friday ? we'll see what happens i guess.
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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.
Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.
#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that#here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking#that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like#have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production#on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still#get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues#as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing#days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials#and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic#and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that#done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated#on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big#Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually#hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary#everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I#enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all#lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like#I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the#architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of#city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public#transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those#spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still#definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter#ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise#condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh
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SHUT UPPPP him getting the expert idea to throw a guy at his brother and then laughing about it is so...
#ash rambles 💚#chain breaker ⛓️#THE LAUGH???#he was grinning throughout the whole fight too- usually he's all 😐 and >:(#he just likes beating people up huh.......... thats not hot at all... (It's hot)#these are peak youngest sibling activities#i say this as a youngest myself#but also. this crush came out of nowhere...#veteran's discount for you if you've been around here for 3-4 years and saw me ship with another character from this series#and then move on a few months later-#this crush may be new but god does it feel good to come back to my guilty pleasure bad action movie franchise#but ahem#this clip..#his fucking laugh..#god he's such a little shit#he's so excited to beat people up huh? that's such a him and Ash date activity ngl...#getting into some fist fights and then cracking open some beers and laughing about it#ugh#this crush is so embarrassing- (I've been smiling like an idiot)#it's been years since I've seen this movie but hiiii h.iroto hiiiiiiii#i don't plan on posting him to the same extent that i post. say. my y.akuza boys but this clip is too fun for me not to share#he took that eyebrow raise from his brother personally LMAAAOO ugh i love them so much.#whenever i watched the series initially i actually liked his brother more than him-#well it's been a few years and um. now I'm into him so uh yeah fun times#the first like ten minutes of their spinoff film is honestly my comfort movie.#like yes i wanna watch the a.mamiya brothers beat people up in an abandoned building that has LED strips everywhere#for no reason other than that it's cool as FUCK#any action movie that has cool neon lights wins my heart instantly lol anyways I'm at tag limit so um. Yeah I like him hehe! his laugh... 😳#such a good scene... ough and that head tilt stretch thing he does before a fight or when he's amused? he ever looks at ash like that#and she might just pounce on him- i wouldn't be surprised if they had beat the shit out of each other before dating... hehe so romantic!!
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man yellowjackets would be so much better if it didnt keep cutting back to the present day
#incoming tag rant#I DONT CARE ABOUT THESE GROWN ASS WOMEN SHOW ME THE LORD OF THE FLIES SHIT#like i dont wanna see that shauna is having an affair i wanna see these teenagers go crazy dude#im not kidding i skip through all the present day shit like an ad on youtube bc i dont cAREEEEE#its starting to frustrate me BROOOO#also how are they making three seasons outta this what more story can you tell#bc if its not about the wilderness im not gonna watch it HAHA#one could say im impatient and thats the point of tension and buildup BUT i can argue that these ladies' lives are fucking boring HAHA#i wanna know more about lottie and why she has weird visions (which they allude to in the cold open) bUT we're back to taissa and her bs#n e way both actresses who play misty are great i wanna kick her fucking throat in LMFAOO /pos to the actresses#we dont even see how it traumatized them in present day which would actually be interesting#all we know is shauna is guilty and taissa is vegan now LIKEEEEE who the fuck cares man HAHAH#and i guess someone is blackmailing them? okay ?? and ?????#sidenote does it ever bother anyone else when shows/movies show [usually] girls naked that are supposed to be teenagers ?#like the actress is 20-30 n a consenting adult but in the eyes of the show im supposed to be looking at a 16 year old girl ? thats weird !#seems like a weird loophole that we dont talk about enough ? id rather not see a naked teenager even if its not real thank you very much🧍🏻#takes me out of the show too lmao im like wait this is supposed to be a minor i dont think i should be looking at this :/#why did tumblr gender neutralize my emoji HAHAHA
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the really beautiful landscape/skyscape animation in makoto shinkai's works tends to be the big thing i see focused on and that is understandable and deserved like the weather and lighting effects are unREAL but i do think we should also appreciate how absolute insane the plotlines of his original movies get. at least two movies with in universe catastrophes with major ecological implications. the guns and explosions. theres that one movie i havent seen yet with the guy who turns into a chair (?)
#just watched weathering with you. it was really good. REALLY good#i remember when it came out people were saying it was better than your name. but now it seems the general opinion switched?#your name changed my brain chemistry and outlook on life. i think weathering with you may do the same#so to me i think they're like on pare with eachother. i dont know if i can choose which is my fav now LOL#they are sisters to me..... sisters to me...... quick review below watch out for spoilers#i dont think i'll be too detailed but i do also just recommend watching it its a great movie#I DID like the soundtrack in your name a BIT better like the score had a few more hooks for me and i loved all the insert songs#while in wwy i liked the last three inserts but the first couple didnt really grab me. but its all radwimps so its all good LOL#the side characters in wwy were so good tho like i loved all the cast so much#of course i adored the main characters of your name and wwy both. but the side cast in wwy ruled i think i'll remember them for a long time#the taki jumpscare was also great. my boy was here. my boy was here. just for a minute#i also adored how unhinged the main character of wwy was. hodaka was like. a bit unwell? HJKDJHKFD i thought it was great#weird and quiet but desperately a bit violent in a way that i think was very relatable#i also loved the like. message? sorry that sounds sappy but i liked that like the story was kind of like#coming to hina who is working so hard and forced by herself and circumstance to grow up so early and sacrifice so much#and grabbing her by the shoulders and telling her YOU CAN LIVE!!! YOU CAN HAVE FUN!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!#i think it was so sweet and such a strong sentiment. wonderful movie. also there was guns and i was so scared#i think that might actually by why i love how high stakes the plots get in these movies like the character design and personalities are so#real and down to earth so when you go to the beautiful planetary skyscapes and also the exploding vehicals you get like so in awe or scared#it does also make me laugh tho now thinking about the your name nendos. you can just barely make nendos of them. you cannot make a nendo of#hodaka. hina maybe. but not hodaka. he is. some guy. the most some guy. visually at least. mentally hes got. something happening <3#loved him so much. hes normal. hes normal. oh they did make some popup parades thats cute#altho it is a bit funny looking. that is just like two normal teenagers JHKLDSHKFDLSafdjksd#anyway next up i'll probably watch the chair movie. ive heard a couple songs from it and they were pretty good so im excited#it also makes me realize i need to watch more of his back catalogue other than 5cm.... he has way more movies than i remembered#i hope someday he gets to make the yuri movie he wanted to. it would be unreal. huge beautiful skys. ecological disasters. girls kissing#oh i hope he gets to do it one day..... one day.....#EDIT: WAIT THEY DID MAKE A NENDO OF HODAKA AND HINA.... LIKE FULL NENDOS NOT EVEN PETITE.....#HODAKA REALLY DOES JUST LOOK LIKE SOME DUDE.... AWESOME
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I love this movie about.... zoro's past boyfriend being taken over by a curse
#zoro having a friend from his childhood seems ooc. thay guy had kuina and thats it. he is weird and has been#this movie and the last one started the same. nami has an ides for money and robin corroborates it with some facts and there they go#'he has already cut ties with you loser pirates' lmao harsh#alos zoro vs sanji.... got cooked....#usopp jumping after luffy akdhakdjka 💀💀💀#'cooking keeps my mind off the pain' 🚬🚬 he is so upset about his bf#zoro is smelling something fishy bc he always does but is going thru with it.... but now they have touched luffy so i sense this is it#luffy being dumb as rocks i miss you. well he isnt dumb but idk enjoys being silly too much at the expense of his and other's safety#i am sure they have went to every important place that will be relevant in the future#also this reminds me of the sims 4 game pack jungle adventure. many such cases#zoro making another promise... he has too many.... well if he turned evil its kinda sad....#sanji saying 'promise 🚬' exactly..... more bitterness....#luffy stumbling into the gems qjdjaksjk#oh no maya is going to sacrifice herself for the good of the island.... meanwhile luffy with the gems jumping out of a geyser: 😁#luffy is so sweet and earnest in these movies... he says what he means and everything.....#this boy reminds zoro of saga as a kid.... omg... i was right zoro didnt have a friend as a child... he had a bf...... this is so sad#luffy carrying people like a sack of potatoes.... compelling...#also zoro lost to saga.... his streak is OVER!!! this sacred sword power is really cool looking... cutting people with a swirl of the hand#omg emotional swordfight under the full red moon..... zoro with the stars behind him.... he got the same scar as zoro omg.... AND DIED????#thats why he called him there.... bc he is steong enough to win.... cant believe they killed maya and zoro's bf... nvm he is alive.... ofc#he isnt even hungry... his tummy aches just by seeing his ex bf with a girl.... after they swordfought under the moonlight....#sanji is also pissy ajshaja#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies
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Happy one year anniversary to one of the biggest mental breakdowns of my life That made me see i have to start changing my life to better myself and my relationships with others by being responsible for my mental illness upkeep and stop living for others and live for me and now im taking film and theatre classes with a job on the side and have a short movie to my credit
#cherry says#woooo its been a year .....#would i still do absolutely anything to take back what i did and not have wrecked that shit up badly#yes but it was my doing and my realization of the history of it caused me to see how bad my mental illness got#it is what it is but it did push me off the cliff to act and clean up myself#and none of it was fucking easy that mental rehab shit was so much work but it made me finally clean it all up#and start over and be responsible#and push myself out there#that fall semester was A LOT but i loved it i wanna stay in theatre its connections there#its like a rich fountain of connections#and you know what work creates more stuff to think about and thats okay#spring was more relaxing and i again accomplished a lot#that damn short movie y sabes que say what u will with Khalil but that there is a combo of networking#me finally being brave enough to make moves to somebody mixed with working on a movie#yea bitch...... worked on a movie before i got kissed or asked out but thats the lords doing#but i love where i am its always work its always getting up its always seeing what i need to do and fix#and its okay because its all good and everything rolls on like the great gatsby#we beat against the current bitch#im gonna go clock in now
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a little sad and frustrated again over HFY. I used to love all these stories, and I’ll admit I haven’t been involved in it lately so I could be completely wrong, but are there any... good stories anymore?
(ngl this is just a vent post about nothing important bc I love to complain, but hey if you have any recommendations... ;_;)
It feels like so many of them steal ideas from one another, and- fine. It IS a fandom, after all. That’s kind of the point. But it seems like so many stories out there are just really wonky (barely there) science facts without any real overarching story. Or stories with interesting ideas but NO drive to explore them. It’s just “woooa humans have this funny organ/bio-chemical and it makes them WAY BETTER than these weak silly aliens who have the personality of a wet napkin haha!” (which is its own problem too ngl)
(and some of them are like, ‘posted 8 hrs ago’ and blatantly rips off a 5m youtube video that just came out about the exact same super niche trivia knowledge... like... cmon)
And then there are the... pro-war, weirdly eugenics-y ones out there that make you raise your brow at the moral. Like all the stories where humans (or whoever) have to prove their personhood, and then... they do. They prove it, as if they needed to in the first place. Or the ones like “fuck with humanity and find out” and then the aliens fuck around and they find out, and there’s SO MANY of those, why are there so many...?
And like I’m not saying there can’t be stories with complex and flawed societies! I’ve read great stories out there like that! It just doesn’t feel like those are being written anymore, and any sense of nuance has been lost, exchanged for this sense of genetic or mental superiority, and it’s so off-putting...
And I think it’s frustrating ‘cause I have read super amazing stories that frankly, baffling that they’re free?? Like, published-book-quality stories I would’ve been glad to pay for. I remember Prey, an unfinished story where humans were one of two of the only predatory species in the galaxy - and sure, it wasn’t perfect, the enemy was genetically evil. But, as the human race was being shown in its complexities within the story, and their predatory-nature was mostly political and they directly acknowledge the more nuanced hunter-gatherer type of background humanity has had, maybe there would’ve eventually been something like that for the other species too. Sad it ended, but it was showing a lot of promise for unraveling more nuanced ideas along the way.
And then there’s Betty Adam’s short stories! Where, yes, the humans are wacky but their alien counterparts are just as wacky, too! And, not only are the alien cultures unique, but so are the individuals within the cultures as well! And they’re not all just drab fucking dry and salty fucking white-coat scientists! (Just god how much I have come to loath that character sub-type) (I should just be reading those ones honestly, like can I tell you how fucking refreshing it was that, instead of reading another adrenaline-story ((you know the ones they’re ALL the same)) I read a short story where a cleaner wouldn’t start cleaning cause someone moved his favorite broom, and an insectoid person was like ‘what does it matter lol also you have a favorite broom???’)
And then the shorter stories that actually had heart to them, stories that were smaller in scale but just as passionate as the galaxy-wide stories. I remember this one where a man crashes onto a planet, and is rescued by the aliens living there, only they don’t live as long as he does... he ages so slow in comparison that he becomes a sort of living historian/weather predictor for them, and when he finally dies at the end, its like such a profound shift, like this man who has seen generations after generations of this species live and grow and thrive, and he’s just... gone, too. Like everything else that came before.
I dunno. I just needed to vent about it I guess. I miss those stories. Maybe they still exist and I just can’t find them because the sites they’re posted to aren’t really meant for story-archiving and they become buried and lost, but if they’re there then I cannot find them, and I get sad thinking about that too.
#humanity fuck yeah#humans are space orcs#i dont mean for this to be taken seriously#the fact that people can get stuff written AT ALL is seriously cool#and I do envy it cause it is NOT easy#and I always say 'if youre making it for free then go gives a shit?"#but still...#I just feel like the entire identity of the fandom has been altered or lost or something#it might just be me but trying to find any stories about nuanced alien species/cultures... it just seems impossible#tho i have heard of one book#but thats the point yanno? Ive heard of ONE book that could fit the same theme#i probably wouldnt care so much if it was more mainstream and could be found just about anywhere but honestly FHY online spaces are the#biggest producers of these sorts of stories (that i know of) so to see if take such a shift is#i dunno#its like how every superhero movie now is just marvel#i would probably love superhero stuff if I could find such movies that werent marvel/the same generic stuff over and over#FHY feels like its been taken over by marvel-mindset i guess is what im trying to say
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