#im not kidding i skip through all the present day shit like an ad on youtube bc i dont cAREEEEE

[akascow]

man yellowjackets would be so much better if it didnt keep cutting back to the present day

[shhhlikeme]

I ALMOST NEVER SEE ANYONE WRITE ABOUT ARAN SO IM JUMPING IN- ;-; Can I ask for his girl helping him relieve some stress, massaging him and his hands then just a nice cuddle session after..? also Ive been shy to hop in but hi you're pretty and Id love to be friends with you ;-;

UMMM A BIG ACCOUNT LIKE YOURS THAT JUST REACHED 1.25K followers (congrats beb!!) peeps my work ?? And compliments me + gave me my first Aran requestttt ?!

*faints*

I feel like this is a proposal and the answer is YES boo 💍🥰 friendssss 🥺🤗

Anyway I hope you like it newest friend💞

————————————

Some Aran Ojiro x Reader Romance 😩🌹

————————————

you and your boyfriend Aran haven’t been able to see eachother much in the past year at all

He just made the Japan National Team which meant he was practicing and travelling all the time

You two keep up with nightly Facetime dates every night which is great but he almost always falls asleep on you in the first 20 minutes

sleepy muffin that we love so much

You don’t blame him considering his training regimen.

When he wakes up he’s literally talking your ear off apologizing because he feels like a shit boyfriend for falling asleep every time

“I did it again and I know you say it’s fine but it’s not. I’m so sorry Y/N. When I get home, I promise I’ll make it up to you baby girl, I promise. Have a great day Queen and remember I’ll be home to spoil you in 10 days. You’re not ready. I love you! Peace!”

As you lay in your empty bed the next morning, you just smile at the video of him apologizing to you while he is running around his hotel room to get ready for morning practice

Your man works so hard but he never fails to make sure he’s the first thing you see when you wake up and the last person you see before you fall asleep. It’s endearing

He is super super busy being a professional athlete but that doesn’t stop him from making you feel special in the little and big ways

Sometimes, he orders you breakfast or dinner from your favourite brunch or sushi spot that you two like to go to so that he can put a smile on your face when he’s travelling

All he asks in return is a cute selfie of you in your pjs and messy bun with the food and that is the only thank you he needs

Seriously send it though or he’ll spam your phone lol

Can I tell you a funny story related to your mans sweet foodie gestures?

Okay so One random night last weekend.....

You heard a knock on the door of your condo and you quickly paused your Netflix movie to dust the popcorn crumbs off Aran’s t-shirt you were wearing

You opened the door excitedly thinking it might be another Uber Eats surprise from your boyfriend but instead you see a grumpy looking Osamu standing in the delivery guys place

“Your boyfriend is annoying.” Osamu deadpanned as he glanced at you once before letting himself in.

“Uh, Nice to see you.....too, Osamu-san.”

Samu murmured something in response grumpily and went over to your kitchen island to place down a large brown paper bag.

“Stupid professional volleyball playing friend and brother,” He muttered under his breath. You watched him take out lots of food from his restaurant from your spot by the door, by the look (and amazing smell) of it the bag was packed with all your favourites. You were thrilled even though the grey haired boy in your kitchen wasn’t.

“Look at me! I’m Aran. My stupid Uber Eats app won’t work from mutant-spider Australia so instead of just chilling like a normal person I call and beg my very handsome and very successful restaurant-owner friend to make my girlfriend all her favourite dishes and drive them over in the middle of a rain storm. A rain storm!”

You held your ground back at the door (knowing good and well not to get in the way of Samu when he was in one of his signature bitchy moods) as a smile crept on your face. It felt like someone was squeezing your heart as you watched Osamu comfortably rummage through your cabinets and find your dishes. He plated your food beautifully like the professional chef he is, all while mumbling angrily under his breath about his quote unquote “Simp of a best friend.”

When he was done with the food, Osamu also pulled out a bottle of your favourite wine from his restaurant that only Aran knows about and poured you a glass perfectly, swaying the liquid around first to make sure it was rich. Satisfied but still annoyed, Osamu cleaned his restaurant’s paper bag contents away and then walked over to your spot on the couch to take a handful of popcorn. Still a grump, he met you back at the door.

Samu looked down at you with the irritated expression you’ve become accustomed to over the years.

“Aran also told me to give you this.” He deadpanned before leaning down to kiss the top off your head then left. You smiled, unable to stop bubbling over in giggles because you knew Aran just added that to annoy his affection-challenged best friend. You poked your head out to the hallway of your condo building, seeing Osamu’s retreating figure you sang:

“Thank you, Samuuuuuu! 🎶”

Effectively adding to his annoyance just like your boyfriend would have wanted you to.

Without looking back, Osamu just lifted up a cool peace sign that your boyfriend and the two brothers were notorious for.

That trio, man.

dinner that night was the best you’ve had in forever

Not only was it delicious but

You realized that very night that your boyfriend was the most remarkable human in the world and you didn’t deserve him

You checked your phone as you sipped your wine because you received several texts from your boy asking where his picture of you eating is and also asking how funny Samu’s reaction was

You giggled as you read the text and then you had an idea! 💡

You put down your phone and quickly changed into some lacy lingerie for the picture:

Your boyfriend always asked for simple ‘rates PG’ pics because he loved to see you bare faced and wearing his big clothes. It was so cute to him.

he would make each new picture you sent his two backgrounds on his phone and he relished in the fact that you were so beautiful when you didn’t try

You knew this, but you also knew that your man deserved a little ‘sumn sumn’ for making tonight so special for you 😉

You put on a little sultry makeup to go with your sexy number and went back to the kitchen to your food and wine

You took a much sexier picture than he would ever expect

Actually you chose to send him a boomerang:

one of your hair slightly disheveled and your tits basically out despite the lacy cover. You pressed the wine glass to your red lips and winked in the boomerang, wiggling your hips ever so seductively

•••

in a luxurious hotel in Australia, your stunning boyfriend just finished his shower in his hotel room

He dried his face with a towel and opened his iMessage app on his phone... effectively ignoring the:

“🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼it’s done.🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼”

text from his best friend Osamu and clicking your name instead

Aran swiped left on his phone hoping to see another cute picture of his girlfriend being sent to him that makes his day the brightest but what he actually sees instead almost makes him drop his phone out of his wet hands

No Deadass he almost dropped it! it slipped out of his hands 4 times

His heart beating because of his phone but mostly because you were the finest woman he’s ever seen, he replays your sexy boomerang 30 times, literally engraving every detail about you into his mind. If his teammates weren’t so nosy he’d love to make what you just sent him his background on his phone......but that wouldn’t work

He really treasured you and what you sent though. For Aran, the next 9 days at this Global Tournament could not go by fast enough.

Aran’s never asked for naughty pictures from you not once because he doesn’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, but seeing that you did it on your own, of course it made him want to skip his National game tomorrow just to fly back and make love to you all night then rub your back the way you like until you fell asleep

Mans is in LOVE, you feel me?

He wanted to show you just how treasured you are for sticking by his side through all this travelling shit. He wanted you to always know you were his queen even if he was miles away

So, by you sending this sexy Boomerang and treating him like a King even though you didn’t have to, your man fell even harder for you

He had so much planned when he came home like always: spoil you with a shopping trip with your girls, a romantic spa trip for you both and a trip to the amusement park, but it seemed so far away now

Frowning, Aran texted you back a paragraph telling you how beautiful you are and how lucky he was to have you in his life for a plethora of reasons

He Facetime’d you for the expected classic 20 minutes while you wore that lingerie BUT he actually stayed up for 36 minutes because he was fighting sleep like a damn boxer. He wanted to see you... but of course his fatigue got the better of him and he fell asleep with a big smile on his face because you whispered goodnight

•••

the next day, after sleeping in, Aran woke up for his first tournament game and did all of his pre-game rituals which included calling you, and his best friends Kita & the twins.

He proceeded to his 6:00pm game as planned in the grand court of Sydney.

Aran sweetly signed autographs and Jerseys with his name on it that fans and little kids eagerly presented to him before and after the game that they had won.

“Mr. Ran’! Mr. ‘Ran! Volleybwall is my most favouritest sport to pway , too! Can I have hug???” Asked a particularly bouncy little African-Australian girl in the crowd. Aran glances at the dad for permission and upon granting Aran nodded kindly and picked up the toddler so she was propped up on his hip. The girl wrapped her miniature arms around the big volleyball star’s neck and squeezed tightly. Aran chuckled in his deep voice, exclaiming an “Ow! You’re a strong one, aren’t you? A future Ace for sure.” The little girl gasped at her idols words and hugged him harder. The dad had to literally rip her out of Ojiro’s arms because she didn’t want to let go.

“Don’t break the volleyball player, honey. They’re sore.” Said the father to his daughter.

Aran reached in his gym bag to collect a clean tournament shirt from his bag and handed it to the hysterically crying little girl. “Sore is an understatement. But....here, ‘future Ace.’ When you make the National Women’s Team and I’m the one at one of your games, maybe you can give it back to me.”

The little girl’s whole life was made as she immediately stopped crying and smiled widely, hugging the shirt close to her chest as if it might disappear if she let go.

Because he was a teddy bear and wanted to sign as many kids memorabilia as possible, plus give the youth encouraging messages....Aran usually stayed an hour or two later than the other players after their away games. Telling his teammates to go on ahead back to their hotel without him

HE’S PERFECT 😩

Sore as hell and more tired than ever after his big games, he picked up his phone to call you on his way back to the hotel

He loved hearing your voice it was so soothing to him

No answer. He tried 5 times.

Thinking you were probably working hard from home, Ojiro dragged his feet past the hotel concierge and used all of his slumped body weight to push open the door to his hotel room.

He didn’t remember it being this dark in here or even shutting off the lights when he left, but being too tired to care he dropped his huge bag on the floor, gripping his aching shoulder as he took one step to the right to flip on the lights

When he did, he had to rub his sleepy eyes because he couldn’t believe what he saw

“Y-Y/N?!”

Standing in the middle of his hotel room, you smiled brightly and ran to your boyfriend, wrapping your legs around his waist in a koala hug. You wore that lacy number you used in the picture you sent him last night. Your man stumbled back from the impact and overall surprise but once he was stable he hugged you back tightly.

“Oh my God, you look incredible, what-what are you doing here?!” He asked, still in disbelief.

You pecked his lips and jumped down. “After last night I missed you so much. So I just called into work, booked a 9-hour direct flight and now I’m here! I’m staying for the rest of the tournament. Hi, handsome!!!!” You had so much happiness and light in your eyes that it literally woke up your boyfriend by contentment, even though he was just on the verge of collapsing on his bed from fatigue minutes ago.

He grabbed your face softly in his large hands and tilted your head up towards his to give you a proper kiss, letting you know how happy he was through the kiss.

You pulled away. “Whoa! Someone’s happy to see me!” You poked his tummy.

“An understatement—Wait, what is that?” Finally looking away from your face for the first time since he entered his room, Aran looked behind you in awe. There was a rather large massage table set up in the centre of his suite.

“Oh, that old thing?!” You questioned playfully as you jogged over to the big table and showcased it with your hands like a Wheel of Fortune prize girl. “I tried to book a massage for you for tomorrow because I know you always forget, but they were all booked obviously so I just asked the guy downstairs—after name dropping you—if they could bring this up and they had no problem with it!”

Aran looked at you incredulously so you continued. “Lay down, babe. I know you must be sore after your game. I ordered food for you too but they said it will be up here in an hour and a half. So, I’ll get out some of your kinks now, we’ll eat, and then I can massage you more until you fall asleep.”

Aran couldn’t believe this was happening.

“But you just got off a flight, Y/N! You must be tired, too! I couldn’t possibly—“

You gave your boyfriend your best Osamu impression with your seriously annoyed frown. “Aran. You do everything in your power to make sure that I’m feeling more than amazing every single day even when you are halfway across the world. So now since I’m a mere halfway across the room, I want to do this for you. Please. Let me return the favour.”

Feeling too tired to bicker and knowing you meant business, your big man gave in. He removed his shirt when you asked and settled face down on the comfortable table.

You put on some soft r&b and took out the essential oils you bought from the spa and began to give your man a sensual but remarkable rub down, taking immense care in soothing his muscle pain in his legs and back

You listened for his groans when you reached particularly sensitive spots on his back and spent a lot more time in those areas

When you were massaging his shoulders you made sure to lean down every few minutes to kiss the side of his neck and Aran would sigh in delight every time.

“Y/N. I know you want to get all of my kinks out and trust me this feels amazing, but, if you keep kissing me dressed like that I’ll stop this massage to make love to you on this table. Okay?”

You giggled and smacked his booty.

“Kay.” 😇

When the food came, you and Aran opted to sit on the couch and eat, feeding eachother and kissing and just being all cute n shit—🙄

A/N: Can you tell how jealous I am?

After dinner and your night routines, you told your baby to give you his hands in bed.

you lotioned them in between your smaller ones and gave him a long, much desired, kneading hand massage in the pitch black room until he was on the verge of falling asleep.

“I love you, Y/N.” whispered Ojiro, his deep voice slower because he was half asleep. “Please be here when I wake up....” He whispered before succumbing to a deep slumber.

You stopped your massage, kissed both of his hands and cuddled into his warm body.

“I’ll be here when you wake up, Aran.” You closed your eyes too, feeling sleep wash over you as well.... “I’ll always be here.”

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23

More homestuuuuuck

I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.

oh, always

(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)

> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit

cuuute

In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.

another dave raps quietly to himself.  i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy

(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)

KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.

Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he?  like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.

KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.

oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping

> ==>

DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor

Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it.  So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~

well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all

DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said

Oh holy shit.  That’s yet another way to put it.  Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today?  cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent

DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose

exactly

DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that

yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias

DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing

perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it

ah this’ll do:

its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form

[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean

Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point

DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about

Great examples of Light being good and bad!  Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything.  --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects.  That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place.  The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.

DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.

Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers.  This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.

DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely

--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged

do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth?  or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot

KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.

That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be.  :)

> ==>

OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

indisputably.

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2.  So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations.  Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.

I think that’s what they’re going for?  Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues.  And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.

DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this

Oh god damnit.  Karkat’s limited lifespan.  As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation.  We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we?  >:(

I guess it had to be discussed, though.

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die

Jesus.  I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.

Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason.  Which it won’t!  Right???  >:T

> ==>

Dishwasher ding

> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.

Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck.  I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry.  God damnit.  SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!!  *click*

Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.

> ==>

okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging

> ==>

*put*

> ==>

*foot*

> ==>

DAVE: ok go on

I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends.  That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery

> ==>

That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.

True

KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.

Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation

KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

D’AWWW

And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT

I mean it’s true.  What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this?  It’s pretty fucking great.

...hm.  Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy?  Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.

KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.

Pff.  He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much.  <3

KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.

KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.

Hah!!!  Point taken.  Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.

KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.

Okay, this is great and wholesome.  I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up.  :)

> ==>

Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.

He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.

Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.

EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.

> ==>

Smooooch!

That was nice.  Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat.  See y’all next time!

[waywardcosplays-blog]

OFF TOPIC: Life and Such (EDITED)

If you don’t know me you might think of this as a strange thing to do. So, you might just wanna save that time for something nicer. I would probably do that too. I don’t even know why I am doing this. Or maybe I do. I always have been very focused on people’s reaction. If they liked what I do and who I am. I cannot remember how or why or when I got so obsessed with it. I never truly got bullied. Sure, there was this guy who occasionally called me ugly and fat because I was the only one getting off my bus station and thus, cost everyone about twenty seconds of their lunch break. Or boys in my class who’d whisper behind my back because I had bought a new scarf and thought it looked pretty on me. Well, it apparently didn’t. Silly me.

   I actually can think of a few things like that right now, but that’s not what I want to write about. Because after all, it’s not what made me the person I am but merely added to it when everything was going down anyway. I think I used to be a very sympathetic person, kind and honest and... nice. I was that girl that everyone at least sort of liked or accepted around. I could talk with everybody but rarely did. I was terribly shy and when I opened up I usually felt silly afterwards. I just couldn’t bear the thought of me potentially putting people I saw everyday off by telling them about my feelings. Therefore, I resorted to writing on a safe space about it. Some people don’t get why writing is so much easier than talking but I think it’s plain simple: you can contemplate every word before you make it public. Talking always seemed much too spontaneous and risky.

   After a failed approach to twitter when I was about twelve (how the hell could I know that I needed to follow people not to have an forever empty timeline?) I grew into it a few years later. And I fell in love for the first time in my life. He was a sweet Scottish boy my age. It all started when I was looking for a name I could give my e-bass (so edgy) and he suggested his’. I agreed; and we continued chatting. What I cannot remember is whether I went on a holiday to Scotland “due” to him or if we booked it before I developed any feelings for him. I sure wanted to go there anyway but yeah. It probably doesn’t matter anyway. Either way, I was so looking forward to it. I told all my friends about it and I remember at least one of them telling me that I looked so happy and nice. I really was happy. There was this cute boy out there who told me things I never heard before. That he liked all the things I hated about me Right now, I feel so terribly dumb for I am sure everybody knew how much of I fool I was -- except for myself. This relationship was destined to fail and SPOILER: it did. I travelled through Scotland with my mum for almost two weeks that summer before meeting this boy in Edinburgh. I was so anxious that I couldn’t eat and sleep and the people on our travelling group would ask me at dinner if I was ill. I at least was sick. Love sick.

   We met at Scott’s Monument. I told my mum to let me wait on one of the benches on my own (she agreed but hid behind the monument to make sure that guy was the one I was supposed to meet (and take sneaky photos)). I pretended to be reading but I couldn’t get past the first line. But it didn’t really matter since there he was. Green-white striped shirt, blue jeans and a white bag. I can see it so clearly in my mind. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I went up to him, probably red faced, and awkwardly waited until he noticed me. And he did.

   I don’t think we talked much. We were both so nervous and even though I am good at English having only gotten to know the Scottish accent in those ~11 days before didn’t make things any easier. But it didn’t really matter anyway. We went to the square in front of Edinburgh castle where they were testing the tattoo’s new seating constructions. We sat on the bottom watching all the tourists walk by. I had my hair dyed a ginger red back then and an Asian woman came up to us and took a photo. No joke. We looked at each other and decided to leave.

   Our next stop was the National Museum of Scotland. We played some kids’ game on the top floor, did the sports quiz (where I absolutely knew nothing, I am Jon Snow) and went to the roof where you have a lovely view on the whole city. I also remember him comparing me to the bust of a hairy man and me trying not to be upset about it. I was, though. Because I wanted him to think I was beautiful and exciting. I had brought along a gift for him since he was a Hibs fan and passionate drinker. It was green sickly sweet vodka and I gave it to him in the museum’s staircase. We both had a few sips right there. I had taken quite a few photographs throughout the day and took one there as well. The ones I took on our walk were blurry and shaky because we were moving. And even the one I took while blocking the stairs was awful because as mentioned before I wasn’t eating well and was a little drunk. He covered his face when I took it. People tend to interpret too much into past events but in an upsetting coincidence those unclear pictures perfectly sum up my relationship with that reckless boy. I never was the one he meant to clearly see him.

   I reckon we walked around for a little longer and then parted. In the evening, we once again chatted online. And I think I was the one being bold/pessimistic, telling him I was sorry for being weird and that I loved that day even though I was incapable of showing it and that I should have kissed him. He quickly answered that he felt the same way. I probably jumped around. He actually seemed to like me! And he still thought I was pretty after seeing me in real life. I was the luckiest girl alive. And the saddest for I was leaving the next day. I would have to wait so long to see my one and true love again.

   I actually never met my love again. I mean I met him, but with a completely different feeling. Within a few months, a girl texted me. She told me the truth about him. How he was telling like three girls at the same that he liked them and I felt like dying. I am not sure if I or she confronted him or he was forced to tell me. I told him it was okay. And I maybe really always felt that I wasn’t a girl that was enough. Sure thing is, we kept talking. And I texted a lot with that girl. We don’t talk anymore but I do cherish the memories I share with her because she is an amazing person and deserves all the luck in the world. Anyway, more than a year passed before I saw him again. And her. All three of us met and spent a day together. I wanted to cry through it. It was one of the most painful experiences I have ever made and I should have just put an end to it months before that. But I wanted to be special so badly.

   When we went to the bus station I channelled all my courage and asked him to go to a side street with me. I gave him a necklace very dear to me and it was the stupidest thing I have ever done. Like seriously. This guy had treated me like shit and I put an expensive necklace around his neck. I struggled whether to give him a peck, or hug, or just go when our friend showed up. And so we parted silently. However, I started to cry when I walked back to Princes Street with her. Again, she was so sweet telling me not to be sad and that I should stop saying that I was stupid. And I tried. Trying still didn’t stop me from stumbling down Princes Street with stinging eyes.

      Throughout the years, I didn’t really get better with people. There was one in Manchester. A beautiful singer and precious yet troubled soul. We went to see a Wolverine movie at the cinema and both fell asleep. When I was shivering at the tram station he put his arms around me and I felt so safe. When I wanted to make a donation for his bandcamp page it ended in a huge argument and after that we never really spoke again. It felt weird being so ignored so easily after spending so mucnt ime with him.

   My Gymnasium (=college) years were the loneliest ones in my life. I had no friends and I wanted none. The only person I knew was a girl from my former school and she just stood with me out of pity I guessed. I felt so lucky when I found my best friend. Of course, he lived in the UK as well. But he understood me. We chatted all day when I was in class or had breaks, on my way home and when I curled up in my bed. We sent pictures of blur to each other, made bad puns, he was my Pete Doherty and I was his Carl Barât. And then he didn’t show up on our first date. He eventually did on our second, half a year later, three hours too late and I could only bear to throw his present at him and then leave. I slowly got worse. Because I slowly figured that all those things happened because I am me. All the tricking myself into believeing that I was someone didn’t work after all.

   Our third attempt would be during my short summer at a school in London. I think I sensed something would go wrong because my ED got more and more obvious to a point where I had to drop sports. But he bought tickets for Graham Coxon at the Rounhouse and I was really looking forward to it. And 2nd August came. I skipped my afternoon classes and patiently waited for him to tell me when and where to meet. No answer. So I asked him. Still no answer. I told him I would wait for him at Camden Market. And I did for three hours. I only left when the gig had already started and the market was being closed. I was too ashamed to arrive early at my host parents house after telling them I was going out with a friend until late, so I walked around for two hours. I still arrived way before midnight but managed to sneak into my room. Defeated by my own stupidity that anyone would spend their limited time with me. And I thought make-up and getting skinny would change things. It obviously didn’t.

   So I gave up on that. I guess, I gave up on a lot of things after a certain thing happened. Or actually, I haven’t. I just went from controlling and restricting myself to do that with others. Because even I sometime am in charge of things. I won’t lie and say it doesn’t feel good but I truly came to realise what I have done and it hurts. Because I know how much the people that have endured me now must hurt. Because it’s the cruelest thing to be untrue to people that give you all they have. Stabbing them right where they’re most vulnerable. I have become all those people that made me hate and mutiliate myself. I would use the excuse of them “teaching” me and that I do not know better but maybe, just maybe I am a bad person. Because sometimes I think I get those guys. How they might just been in love with different people for different reasons. How erasing someone you like from your life is easier than awkward future interactions. How they were so scared of messing up that they did it straight away. For the greater good of all parties involved.

   The thing I know for sure however is that I still feel sorry about it everyday and they might don’t. They probably don’t. They live their lives in sunny California or the UK, playing football being in a great shape, sharing a home with their beautiful girlfriends. And I cannot blame them for not knowing my name anymore. But I hope I never forget anymore for I did hide it in a corner in the back of my mind too long. Forgetting what lies and arrogance do to people. Still, I feel like I must move on to get better and be able to be affected by men and women again.

   I, and especially people that used to really care about me, have paid a price far too high for my inability to feel anything but burning wrath or dull apathy. And I am sorry. I truly am. I loved and still love every single one of you and I hope you’ll find someone who treats you the way you deserve. Well, I know one of you already kinda has. And hearing about that was one of the rare things that made me smile that past year.

.

   I don’t really know what the purpose of this post is. Whether I wanna pity myself, understand my feelings a little better, if it’s a sad and pointless sorry, or if I just want to feel a bit less alone... I really don’t. But I hope I will find out someday.

[argaliaofficial]

@sangwoosers alright here is that general overview of jace post i promised u!!

i didnt intend to get this long but i wanted to write a backstory rundown again because each time i keep adding new insights that really helps me flesh out my characts i hope its not too daunting--

i also included more simple trivia bits at the bottom too

alright so jace, birthname jacques viorel eden, was originally a member of nobility, and also a fandom oc (for tales of vesperia lol) however recently i’ve been thinking of working out my own original universe to squish him into (hence the lack of proper names for places/people in this draft cuz im still in the world building process lol)

thankfully, his backstory pretty much works for the setting i am thinking about. he was born the youngest of 7, to a mother who wanted nothing to do with him because he wasn’t a cute girl she could project her lost dreams onto, and a father, who while a nice man, was always so busy with work he hardly had time for his children. his siblings too were less than nice as well, and that is mostly due to his eldest brother, gabriel. gabe was nothing but a vicious bully to whoever his younger siblings were, and by the time jacques came along, he pretty much had the other brothers tormenting jacques for their own amusement.

he had two older sisters, as well, but only one of them, annabelle, ever paid attention to him. she was a kind sister, always watching after him and making sure he was alright due to the fact that jacques had a weak immune system and got sick often.

he was very very young (bought 5 years old) when his father was accused of conspiring against the monarchy. jacques, of course, had no clue what was happening; he had woken up extremely early in morning to a very serious anna telling him to gather a few valuables and get dressed. due to their relation with their father, the council (currently the powerhead due to the lack of an emperor/empress at the time) saw fit to punish the entire family, and any generation that came after them. 

the scorn from the citizens, and the burning of the brand on his hand made the walk though town to the edge of the city borders terrifying. and then the trek through the wilderness?

his father didn’t survive. being the older man he was, he was the one to fall behind when a pack of vicious wolves attacked the family

from there, it seemed as if everything continued to grow worse. jacques’s mother fell into a deep state of depression, and with no access to their vast wealth before, food and housing was scarce- especially for a family that had just been branded public enemy #1

they eventually managed to skip over to a new continent as refugees, and from there, they were given a very basic, tiny home to live in. his mother’s depression only grew worse, and soon, she was having a series of flings with a married man

of course, when he found out she was knocked up, he wanted nothing to do with her. for 9 months she carried the child, only to give birth to another boy. this was the final nail in the coffin, and a few weeks later, jacques found her dead, having committed suicide. 

The father of his step son took the baby in, but left the other children to their own devices. from there. everyone just went their own way.

anna took care of jacques the best she could, managing to save up some money to get him a bow and cloak for one of his birthdays. it was also around here where he started trying to learn about medicine and healing magic in hopes of being able to get a job in the field to help out

anna, in the meantime while jacques studied, eventually married a man in hopes of getting them some sort of financial stability and a roof over their head. he was by all means a monster, however, abusing both her and jacques in more than one way.

one day, when he was about 14 years old, he tried to stand up to anna’s husband. this went over about as well as could be expected, jacques was so severely beaten he was bed bound for a week. because of this, he eventually ran off, terrified to stay, and terrified to return. eventually, he managed to crawl into a new town, on the brink of dehydration and starving. from there, he bounced around, trying to make something of himself. he continued studying healing artes on his downtime, and continued practicing archery. he also took up offensive magic after he got fairly proficient at healing, thinking having multiple skills would be useful, and that if he got strong enough he could return to his sister and get her out of that hellish home. it wasn’t easy, having grown up frail and sickly, but he persevered. he was going to make up for abandoning his sister, he would make his step brother pay for the shit he had put them through

those plans unraveled when he stumbled upon  a secret base for a notorious assassin’s guild. there’s something terrifying about being dragged to the dungeons to be interrogated by the leader of the guild. something terrifying about your life on the line, as the guild could not risk outsiders revealing the location. jacques didn’t want to die. he still had to return to his sister- his last family member. quickly, he tried to sell his skills. a guild of assassins could surely use a healer, and he was a fairly competent one. he could also use a bow and arrow, and was a fast learner. he could pick up any other trade they needed him to.

it took a few days, but he was accepted under strict surveillance until he could be proven trust worthy. from then on, he would need to create an alias and discard his past. there was no room for that as a newfound assassin.

in a sense, jacques eden had died, and jace had taken his place. jace was supposed to be nothing like jacques. jace was supposed to be cold, calculating, detached.

he couldn’t help but feel bitter, though. his entire life had been in shambles since he was a small child, and now he had to throw away his family name for good. 

one day, a new kid was brought into the guild. he called himself zelvene, or zelv, for short. he was a kid more damaged and fucked up than jace was himself. and jace had been partnered with him.

the two did not get along at all. zelv was a rambunctious nut, and jace was mr. killjoy. it was like that for the longest time before a mutual sort of stolckholm syndrome kicked in, and they became sorta friends- to the point where they are weirdly protective of each other, but still banter like they hate each other.

zelv eventually became privy to jace’s past, and jace became privy to zelv’s. it helped them understand each other, and in turn, helped them to care for each other. it was strange for both of them- having someone care. jace had known it with anna, but it had been so long since he had seen her that he had almost forgotten what it was like.

the two, being the damaged insomniacs that they were, would spend late nights talking about getting revenge. zelv said he’d already gotten his when he killed his parents and burnt the house down, and he told jace he’d help him carry out whatever plan he could come up with to get his vengeance. 

and one day, it appeared that the perfect opportunity would present itself. a client came in one night, asking for a hit to be put on a man named faris clemens- a rising knight in the very city jace had been unjustly exiled from. the details about why they wanted faris dead were uncertain, but it didnt matter. an excuse to go back and deal a heavy blow to that shit hole of a capital... maybe get to ruin a few other things while he was there-

he jumped on the job immediately, and zelv was fine with it himself. if all went well, they would be able to do satisfying damage to the city.

he sadly could never return to anna anymore. not with how mightily he had fallen down a dark path, but if he could do this, and then kill his brother-in-law, and leave anna a fair sum of money to get herself a stable home while she found a job to support herself...

well, maybe that would make him feel a bit better with himself.

and there ya go. backstory rundown lol. now for the easier to get thru trivia shit lol

by the start of the story he is 23 years old

his astrological sign is gemini and his birthday is march 14

he really really likes coffee

he clung to studying nobility customs and aesthetics, wanting to cling onto what bit of family tradition he could remember

he’s a moody piece of shit and extremely sentimental

he lowkey loves cuddles and affection and could snuggle for hours if given the chance

he’s highkey paranoid tho and that interferes with a lot of personal shit like that

if you wanna ask anything else about him feel free! i hope you enjoyed reading this :)