#moving past the pain

[atths--twice]

First meetings, dinner, and some conversation. ❤️

Chapter Four

Melissa Scully, or Mel as she preferred to be called, was easy to talk to and incredibly funny. She had a quick wit and sometimes it took a second for Fox to get her joke, but when he did, he could not help but chuckle.

She was more straight laced than Dana, her style of clothing leaning toward a more sophisticated fashion. Designer jeans, shoes, and a handbag, showed she had exquisite taste. Unlike many women he had known in his life who shared the same style, for her it seemed effortless and without thought of being seen as above anyone else. She wore it all with an air of ease and grace.

She seemed to bring Dana out of her shell a bit more, engaging her in conversation and laughing over inside jokes. But then there were moments when he saw Dana falter and pull back, a frown tugging at her eyebrows. When she did, Mel would touch her hand, or look at her and smile, drawing attention to something on the table or in the room.

She’s grounding, he thought as he watched them, Dana nodding with a slight hint of a smile as Mel rubbed her back.

He remembered the term from the therapy sessions he had gone through when he was in middle school.

Angry over his parents divorce, he had gotten into fights at school, refused to do any schoolwork, and became a problem in his classes.

One of his favorite teachers, Mrs. Stuart, had brought him to a meeting with the school counselor, kindly explaining how she was worried about him. He had acted nonchalant, shrugging often as if it had not bothered him, but hearing the worry in her voice had hurt him exceedingly.

Letters had been sent home and therapy sessions began not long after. He had hated them at first, not speaking at all and wasting the entire hour.

But once he had actually spoken, opening up about how he had been feeling, he found that it did help with his anger and anxiety. He continued seeing the same therapist until his sophomore year of high school.

“When you’re overwhelmed, when you feel an anxious moment coming on… stop,” his therapist had said. “Stop where you are and breathe. Look around you. Find three round objects. Then breathe. Or think of the names of dog breeds. Count backwards by fives, whatever helps you in that moment… then breathe.”

It had been a long time since he had felt that level of anxiety. But even without realizing it, he had been using those techniques in his day-to-day life.

He would name the parts of the camera in his head. Baseball teams in order of preference. Recite little songs he had learned as a child.

Her big cardigan, he thought suddenly, realizing that she was using it more than as a way to cover up. It was something she could touch, something tactile for her to implement when she became anxious or overwhelmed.

He drew in a quiet breath and let it out, anger on her behalf rising to the surface.

Fuck Tom and fuck any man or woman who caused a person pain and suffering. Especially to that level.

“Any room left for dessert?” the waiter asked as he approached, smiling far too happily, but providing a much needed distraction.

“Uhh,” he said, knowing he did not want any dessert. “I’m… Dana? Mel? Any dessert?”

“Oh, none for me, thanks,” Mel said, smiling at the waiter. “Dana?”

“No, thank you,” she said quietly and Mel smiled as she squeezed her hand.

“Just the check then,” Fox stated. “Actually, could you just charge it to room 511?”

“Certainly, sir,” the waiter said, nodding and walking away.

“Well,” Fox said, laying his napkin down and standing up. “It was a pleasure having dinner with you both. As I’ve been here to this resort many times, may I suggest taking a walk around the grounds before you turn in?”

“Yes, I’d like that,” Mel said, standing as well and picking up her bag. “Come on sis, let’s go see how the other half lives.”

“As if you couldn’t afford to get married here,” Dana scoffed as she stood up, rolling her eyes as she stepped back and pushed in her chair.

“Oh, we could now, but we’re already married. Opportunity missed,” Mel said, shaking her head in mock sadness as she looked around the lavishly decorated room.

Dana caught Fox’s eye and she shook her head with a slight smile and he felt the anger and annoyance leave his body. He smiled back and nodded.

The waiter brought over the invoice and Fox signed it, gesturing for Dana and Mel to walk ahead of him as they left the restaurant.

“Well,” he said with a smile as they reached the lobby. “I’ll leave you two to it. Enjoy your walk and I’ll see you in the morning.”

“You’re not coming with us?” Dana asked with a frown.

“Yeah, what?” Mel asked, shaking her head. “You’re the one who suggested it to us.”

“Oh. I was meaning the two of you would like…” He looked from one to the other as they stared at him, not budging, and he laughed softly. “Okay. Yes, I can join you.”

“Good,” Mel said, taking Dana’s arm as he put his hands in his pockets and walked beside them.

It really was a beautiful resort, especially at night. The lights were soft and placed strategically around the grounds, adding to the ambiance. There were many places to sit and relax, large fire pits lit that allowed for a pleasant moment to talk.

“You know,” Fox said, pointing as they approached one of the fire pits. “They sell these little kits to make s’mores over the fire. Everything you need to make a single s’more.”

“Really?” Dana asked with a smile.

“Yeah. Would you like to do that?”

“I would, yeah. Mel?”

“Sure,” she agreed with a smile.

They walked over and spoke to the woman selling them and got one each. Claiming a spot, Dana began to open her small kit with an excited hum.

“Oh,” Mel said, handing Fox her bag and shaking her head as she looked at her watch. “Dane, I just remembered that I need to call Ryan before Layla goes to bed. I said she could stay up until I called and I’m sure she’s getting tired by now.”

“Oh, we could wait for you.”

“No, that’s okay, babe. You stay and I’ll see you back in the room.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely sure.” She smiled and nodded to them both. “Goodnight, Fox. Thank you for dinner. It was nice to meet you.”

“And you. And you’re welcome.” They shook hands and then she hugged Dana before waving and walking into the hotel.

“Well,” Dana said, holding a marshmallow in her hand. “I guess we’re on our own.”

“Looks like it.” He smiled at her and she nodded as she exhaled a breath. “So, how do you like your marshmallows toasted?”

They sat down, discussing marshmallow toasting preferences and before he knew it, a quick glance at his watch told him an hour had passed.

“Wow,” he laughed. “Time really does fly sometimes. Are you ready to head up? We have an early start tomorrow.”

“Last one,” she said, placing a marshmallow on her stick and then holding it above the fire.

“Here, I’ll get the rest of it ready for you.” He unwrapped the chocolate and laid it between the two graham crackers, watching as she took her time to perfectly toast her marshmallow. “I like that you take the task so seriously.”

“If you want the marshmallow to melt the chocolate, you gotta take the time to do it right,” she said, turning her stick as she nodded.

“And you’re not feeling like you’re on a sugar overload after the last two s’mores you’ve had?” he teased and she shook her head.

“No such thing.”

“Okay,” he laughed.

Soon, her marshmallow was done and he held the graham cracker steady as she placed it on top of the square of chocolate.

She took the s’more from him and squeezed it slowly, the chocolate indeed melting slightly as she took a bite. The marshmallow squished out the sides and she hurried to eat it before it dropped to the ground.

“It’s puhfahc,” she said, her mouth full.

“Good,” he said, laughing again as he held up some napkins, silently asking if she wanted them, and she nodded as she took another bite.

They walked as she finished her treat, him carrying one of the bottles of water that had been offered, along with the napkins.

“That was so much better than any dessert in a restaurant,” she said, taking the water bottle from him and taking a long drink. “It’s simple and yet so delicious and satisfying. Makes you feel like a kid again, you know?”

“Yeah,” he agreed as they stepped into the elevator.

She wiped her mouth and her hands, getting one of the napkins a little bit wet to do so. Finishing off the water, she threw it into a recycling bin as they stepped off the elevator.

They were quiet as they walked to her room, which was down the hall from his own, but she stopped him before they reached the door.

“Thank you for tonight. For letting my sister stay and treating us to dinner. It was kind of you. Not that… not that you usually aren't. I just meant…” She sighed and shook her head. “I appreciate it. That’s what I’m trying to say.”

“You’re welcome. More than welcome.” He smiled and she smiled back, though it did not quite reach her eyes. “You go in and get some sleep- if you’ll be able to that is, after all that sugar.” She exhaled a soft laugh and nodded. “Do you want to meet for breakfast? Or would you rather eat before we meet up?”

“I think I’ll go down to the coffee shop and then bring it back here to eat while I’m getting ready.”

“There’s no need to go to all that trouble. Just order something up to the room.”

“I can’t do that,” she said, frowning as she shook her head. “That’s… no, I can’t do that.”

“You can. Whatever you’d like. There’s a menu in the room-”

“I can’t, Fox,” she whispered, looking down at the floor. “It would be…”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he said quietly, touching her elbow briefly. “But please don’t hesitate because you feel I wouldn’t want it. You’re here because you work for me. I mean with me. You need to eat before you do said work and there is a kitchen downstairs waiting to fill that request. Considering our early morning departure, it's easier and makes more sense to have it brought to you, to us, rather than leaving to get it.”

She raised her head and looked at him for a second before she drew in a deep breath and nodded.

“I still feel like I shouldn’t do it. But, okay. I will,” she whispered and he smiled.

“Your sister as well, if she wants anything.”

“No. I agreed to the order for me,” she said, shaking her head. “But I won’t-”

“Okay,” he said, putting up his hands and chuckling softly. “Okay. You win.”

She nodded and licked her lips, stepping forward and continuing to her room. Taking her card key from her pocket, she looked at him and sighed.

“Thank you again. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Bright and early. With a full stomach.” He raised his eyebrows and she smiled.

“Yes.”

“Good. Goodnight, Dana.”

“Goodnight, Fox.”

She put the key in the reader and the light blinked green. Pressing the handle down, she opened the door and stepped inside, smiling again as she closed it. He waited to hear the lock turn before he continued down the hall and around the corner to his room.

Tomorrow would be long and tiring by the end of it, so as soon as he entered the room, he began to prepare for bed.

Lying down, he smiled as he set the alarm and turned out the light. He thought of Dana as he drifted off to sleep, remembering the intense look she had as she toasted her marshmallow and the happiness in her smile when she then bit into the gooey s’more.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[equill]

Reuniting with a distorted past.

Extra:(New personality tested gone wrong)

wanted to play with rin living in the aftermath aus aswell and had these drawings laying around to share so yay

Panel 1: Was buried alive.

Comic 1: Who are you supposed to be?

new friends

Comic 2: Misguided protection.

obito still sensing the warning signs of rin losing her temper. anyways they proceeded to be dragged into the ocean by rin like some sea monster

Comic 3: Finding out (Now what will you do?)

obito is harshly brought back from his delusions because now its not just kushina but rin too who he needs to ripped out the tail beast from

[fluffylord]

Look how far I went, for fear of losing you.

[aroaceleovaldez]

we should make Nico more fucked up, actually. enough woobifying him. that boy should be covered in blood and viscera

[queenbeekb13]

AU where Simon does go with Edwin to escape Hell and Edwin convinced him + crew that he should stay on with them. After a few awkward weeks Edwin and Simon eventually become friendly (Edwin has someone new to infodump to who is clearly attentive and also someone who understands what’s it’s like to be displaced from his specific time) and maybe Simon even gets brave and a lil flirty now that he knows he and Edwin ARE the same (gay) and that Edwin has forgiven him since the whole murder WAS an accident…..

Meanwhile Charles is perpetually in the background absolutely seething bc that’s the boy who’s responsible for his best mate ending up in Hell (and also he’s super jealous)

[thedisablednaturalist]

literally my boyfriend is my painkiller.

Whenever I'm with him my pain goes down so much I can ignore it. Yea sometimes there's days where nothing helps the pain but at least he's there to take care of me. Most times tho his presence has a drastic effect on my pain levels. Maybe it's cause when he's around I feel less stressed and more safe and secure? Or maybe it's cause he's basically a human-shaped heating pad

[snek-eyes]

See you in hell.

[ID: A series of gifs from the Good Omens 2.2 minisode "A Companion to Owls."

Sitis looks disbelieving as she says, "…No. God wouldn't!" Crowley gives an exaggerated frown and replies, "Are you sure?"

Sitis looks horrified and says, "But they've done nothing! They're innocent!" Crowley nods impassively: "So were the goats." Sitis stares at him in horror.

In the cellar, Aziraphale looks back over his shoulder, seeming offended. "God's [side], of course!" Crowley reclines, raising his eyebrows and nodding. "Oh, really. Same God that wants me to whack the kids?"

Aziraphale looks very uncertain, and slowly says, "…Yes. But…" Crowley grins slowly, gesturing to Aziraphale and saying, "That's just how it started for me."

Back in the house, Sitis looks devastated and desperate. "If my children are dead, then… I will curse God, and—"

Crowley swings abruptly around the doorframe and rushes over to interrupt Sitis. "WHOA! That never ends well."

At the cliff's edge overlooking the sea, Aziraphale looks on the verge of tears but determined. "Well. I'm ready to go." Crowley asks: "Go where?" Aziraphale swallows. "To hell."

Crowley sits down on the rock and says, "I'm not taking you to hell, Angel." Aziraphale looks over at him, his tearful expression turning confused. "Why not?" Crowley replies mildly, "Well, I don't think you'd like it."

End ID.]

[raayllum]

I thought maybe there was something we needed to know. But it doesn't matter. I told you not to come on the boat! You were crying, I thought something was wrong. Nothing was wrong. Either way, the sun's set and it's crazy cold out there.

[thepersonalquotes]

We invent what we need to get us by, but in doing so we are really continuing to hold on to the pain of yesterday.

Stephen Richards, The Pain You Feel Today Is The Strength You Feel Tomorrow

[aurorangen]

Time will heal the wounds Held deep in my heart But still leave the scars That are tearing me apart

[al-luviec]

juvie buddies

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Having the Pool Dream again, handsome?

[bidisasterevankinard]

Wip Wednesday

do I have the stage where I start new wips but barely write the one's I have because I'm super indecisive and not inspired? yes. let's hope soon I will be fine and work on my wips I want to work on. Anyway meet new wip where bucktommy will have long angst in their relationship because Tommy needs to grief "what ifs" with Sal he never thought about till he sees Sal as Captain of 118 (it's an au where Sal is a captain instead of Gerass)(it's only the start of the fic btw)

thanks to nonny @racerchix21 and this song (the title taken from the song and it's "I tried to go on like I never knew you"

Tommy knows it all should be in the past. In stolen kisses in bars they knew Gerrard and the team would never come too. In usually passionate and wild - almost never tender and sweet - sex. In secrets they shared under sheets, when they both knew that the moment their fabric cover was gone they couldn't talk about those moments of comfort and vulnerability they shared. In breakfast’s Sal made for him and his nonna's lasagna recipe Tommy cooked for the man. In wild dreams Tommy knew could never be a reality. Especially not when Sal changed stations and firstly their meetups were less and less frequent until they stopped after Sal’s wedding. 

And Tommy swears he thought he was over it. Over Sal. Over dreams of the future they could never share. But one look at the man whose appearance barely changed since Tommy last saw him five years ago, staying near 118 trucks the same way he always did, while talking with Chim, and all that got back at him. All the memories of stolen love and painful hope to be happy, proud and loved. Preferably by his “best friend”. By the one of the best men he ever met even if they could be rough with each other or rude or just wrong. Sal always came back with sorry, that Tommy knew was genuine. They were so wrong together, but also so wrongly perfect. So electric. Sal made him feel how almost no one could. Only his first crush Eric from the army, Sal and …

“Hey, handsome, sorry for the delay, Hen needed help to choose a present for Karen,” Evan kissed his cheeks, smiling like thousands of suns.

If Tommy didn’t know and was pretty acquainted with Evan’s quirks and little signs of his fatigue, he would never think the man just ended his 48 hour shift.

“It’s fine, baby.”

Tommy smiles and he hopes his inner turmoil of seeing an old friend is not shown on his face.

“Have you met my new captain yet?”

“No, but I don’t need to.”

Evan adorably tits his head and Tommy wants his heart to be so fast only because of it and the taste of Evan’s lip balm on his cheek, but he swears he can feel the taste of liquor he and Sal were drinking last time they kissed. Right before Sal asked Jennifer out on their first date.

“I worked with Sal. Even more than Chim and Hen,” Tommy says and Evan for a second frowns and then hits his face.

“And they were no less inseparable as you and Eddie,” Chim says, with the loud sound of gum bubbles breaking.

Tommy doesn’t know when he and Sal got closer to them, but he would really happy if they never see that Tommy was there at all. 

“God, of course. In my defense it was so long ago I just haven’t even thought that all three of you were a team.”

“Yeah, I left the station almost a decade ago and it feels like it was in another life, so it’s fine, Buck.” 

Sal smiles at his boyfriend and Tommy wants to make as much room between them as possible. Maybe it will help him to to separate all these feelings of worry and anxiety and love and confusion from the sight of the man he had loved for years, but had never had the opportunity to own his love completely for himself, never feeling that Sal had given him his heart, and a man who he knows is step away from get into his own chest and rip out his heart with all the vessels and give it to Tommy if he just says the word. Sal would never do it even if Tommy would beg

I was tagged by @tizniz @cal-daisies-and-briars @diazheartsbuckley @diazsdimples

Tagging @wikiangela @neverevan @hippolotamus @watchyourbuck @evnnkinard @evansboyfriend @evanbegins @evanbi-ckley @repressedqueen @rogerzsteven @racerchix21 @eddiebabygirldiaz @theotherbuckley @pirrusstuff @saybiwithme @steadfastsaturnsrings @devirnis @giddyupbuck @honestlydarkprincess @kinard-buckley @loveyouanyway @lonelychicago @bigfootsmom @bekkachaos @bi-buckrights @bewilderedbuckley @monsterrae1 and anyone who wants to

[sunsetsover]

'cat for cash has no plot!!!' how about we try watching the trailer with our eyes open this time <3

[tea-tuesday]

travel tales: seoul, south korea