#mental health and addiction issues

[in-sightjournal]

Ask A Genius 1000: Dad Called

Rick Rosner, American Comedy Writer, www.rickrosner.org Scott Douglas Jacobsen, Independent Journalist, www.in-sightpublishing.com Scott Douglas Jacobsen: As I noted when you were questioning me in “Ask Scott Anything,” sessions one through five, at least those done so far, my father is an alcoholic. He also did some heavier drugs, apparently, but to uncertain amounts. As far as I have known…

[tin-can-iron-man]

I'm just gonna say it again real quick:

Yes!! Iron Man is a tragedy! It has and always has been since the very first appearance in 1963 which describes itself, Tony's life, and legacy, as such.

Tony causes most of his issues himself, he is his biggest villain, a majority of his rogues gallery are caricatures of the worst versions of himself brought to life (when they're not just being racist cuz...60s...). The worst thing about being Tony Stark is that he can't stop being Tony Stark (he tried!!) That is the point.

The majority of pain Tony goes through, is pain he inflicts on himself, whether intentionally or inadvertently. That is the point.

He is not A villain (at least. Not usually. There are...some rough moments and arcs that are. Not great. As there is with any character as old as he is). But he is his own main antagonist.

[aftgficrec]

Do you have any recs for alternate endings to the championship games?? This will scratch such a major itch!

Thank you in advance! You guys are amazing!!

Hi there, @caffeinated-croissant Unlike Baltimore, or Neil’s visit to Evermore, there’s surprisingly little canon divergence regarding the Foxes’ championship win, and a lot of it is pretty dark.  We did our best, and this is what we found.  If anybody knows any more, please let us know! - S

Also see...

canon-divergent angst post-TKM here 

'eat their young - Fox!Riko au' series here

Hearts In Halves by heybabyricecake [Rated M, 247291 words, complete, 2024, locked]

Instead of killing Riko and sending Neil back to the Foxes, Ichirou banishes Riko and takes Neil back to the Edgar Allen Ravens to be their starting striker. This is basically post canon, if the very last scene in The Kings Men happened differently. Neil has to adjust to life in the Ravens Nest, and the Foxes have to deal with losing Neil right after championships. The Nest is a nightmare, and Andrew is reeling from the separation from Neil. Andrew and Neil have to burn it all to the ground to find their way back to each other.

tw: violence, tw: rape/noncon, tw: torture, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: emotional manipulation,  tw: drug addiction, tw: withdrawal, tw: drug overdose, tw: kidnapping, tw: major character injury, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: homophobic language, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced eating disorders

too late. by carmellian [Rated T, 1199 words, complete, 2024]

Andrew is running before he can see anything else. Somebody shouts. It might've been Dan. Neil turns, and looks up, on his knees as the racquet comes crashing down onto his skull. His body drops like a stone. Riko raises the racquet again. Andrew is faster. basically, i rewrote that scene from the very end of king's men but what if andrew didn't make it to neil in time

tw: major character death, tw: graphic depictions of violence

Am I Screaming to An Empty Sky? by phan_taloon [Rated M, 32016 words, complete, 2022, locked]

His stomach sank, a heavy weight settled, twisting his insides even more. His breathing had been labored before, but his lungs seemed frozen now. He didn’t understand. This couldn’t be happening. The Foxes were staring at the scoreboard expecting it to change. A chill settled around Neil, and he really couldn’t breathe. Basically, what if the Foxes lost the finals? This is so self indulgent, I just love putting myself through pain via these characters. Title taken from Anathema by twenty one pilots Upped the rating, added warnings, so buckle up, the updates will hurt

tw: violence, tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: suicide attempt, tw: self harm, tw: major character injuries, tw: rape/noncon, tw: dissociation, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced depression, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: drug addiction

White by heart0fdarkness [Rated G (we say T), 862 words, complete, 2019]

Hallucinations. He says they will pass, like everything else. Like the inability to line up words and walk straight without tripping up and getting hurt. Like the memory lapses and the blackouts. Like the emptiness.

tw: traumatic brain injury, tw: gun violence, tw: blood, tw: assumed suicide attempt, tw: attempted murder, tw: psychiatric drugs administered without knowledge

Shadows and Monsters by starlonging [Not Rated, 4433 words, incomplete, last updated Dec 2018, locked]

Neil didn’t know they’d reached the last minute of the game until the buzzer blared overhead but his body understood and finally gave out on him. He fell to his knees on the court, stomach twisting and entire body feeling like a big bruise. His gasped breaths did nothing for him but he forced his head up to look at the scoreboard when the buzzer blared again. Nine-Ten, Ravens’ favor. They’d lost.  They’d lost.

tw: dark, tw: violence, tw: torture, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced child abuse

King Without a Court by FatesOfConquest [Rated T (we say M), 8264 words, incomplete, last updated Nov 2018]

Ichirou had spared Riko's life after the championships, leaving his younger brother adrift and directionless. But Riko is nothing without Exy, not even alive, and plans his revenge against those who had taken everything from him; the Palmetto Foxes and their new vice-captain.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: torture, tw: violence, tw: kidnapping, tw: panic attacks, tw: major character injury, tw: blood

Remembered. by LunnVic [Rated T, we say M, 10756 words, complete 2017]

Ichirou Moriyama lets Neil Josten go. But not so easily. He lets him go back to the last game with a clear deal: if the Ravens wins, Neil will be executed. But if the Foxes win, Neil will have to execute Riko and clean up his mess. He will be the person who cut losses everywhere, he will have to make dissappear people from Carolina to South Carolina. Cops, doctors, moles. Proust. And when Nathaniel Wesninski has done with this, then he will be free to be Neil Josten. Not a minute before.

tw: dissociation, tw: violence, tw: murder, tw: canonical character death, tw: blood, tw: cannibalistic thoughts, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: knives, tw: nonconsensual drug use

Two Kevin-centric post canon fics where Riko survives TKM:

Funeral Pyre by KweenDay [Rated M, 9581 words, incomplete, last updated Aug 2024, locked]

Kevin did everything to prevent ending up on a team with Riko Moriyama: he waited until he was sure Riko signed with another team, and then picked one only two hours away from Jean and Jeremy, and half-a-country away from Riko. He'd planned everything just right. And it still wasn't enough in the end. Now, he's stuck in the same city, team, and damn apartment, with Riko, and this time, he doesn't have Neil and Andrew and the Foxes to back him up. Kevin is all alone against him. Or at least that's what he thinks—Jean and Jeremy have other plans.  AKA Riko doesn't die in TKM and Kevin ends up on the same team with him after graduation. Jean and Jeremy plot Riko's murder (probably😂)

tw: violence, tw: panic attacks, tw: emotional manipulation, tw: psychological torture, tw: drug abuse

Things you can tell just by looking at him by RJSawyer [Rated T, 36768 words, complete, 2020]

Going on Kevin's third year with the Foxes, he wanted a smooth year. He wanted to be over the crippling anxiety of his time at the Ravens nest. He wanted to win championships for the third year in a row. He wanted to hear Riko's name and not flinch. He wanted to get though the week without a nightmare. Kevin wanted a lot. For Kevin, want and need were interchangeable since he was never really able to want anything. After the Foxes first championship, Riko's broken arm, the Master stepping down and Kevin being back on top of his game, the Breckenridge Jackals had climbed tooth and nail up the standings. They knocked out Penn State and Kevin knew they were going to be the new power house. So why did they not recruit one of the best Strikers Kevin had seen when they already had him in their circle?

tw: panic attacks, tw: drug overdose, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced suicide

Riko becomes a Fox:

Quarter House by Noomynoom [Rated M, 2316 words, incomplete, last updated June 2023]

Riko knew the cast on his arm is not a guarantee of him living long enough to take it off, and so he ran. Foxes save a stray from becoming a roadkill.

tw: injuries

Redeeming Riko by Rachello344 [Rated M, 3792 words, incomplete, last updated July 2022]

Riko has lost everything: Kevin, his chance with his father, the big game, his brother's respect, and now his pride and what little freedom he had. He can either let the Foxes take him in and show him a life outside of the Nest or he can die. Riko would rather die, but Kevin has other ideas for him.

tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: injuries

fandom fun post

 Why am I gasping? I already knew that by @bvrtysbvtches [tumblr, 2024]

pov: me reading the final game between the ravens and the foxes from jean's pov

Art

kandreil WINNING🗣️ by @deklo

Neil playing as backliner against Riko by @s-hanna-h

The Epilogue cartoon by @unkingly for @giveyourbacktome-zine (tw: gun violence, tw: graphic murder)

[herbaklava]

Planning on going back to college soon for my B.A. in Psychology degree (minoring in addiction studies) and eventually my masters. Please send good vibes for my work ethic omg

[randomly--accessed--memories]

random non-canon idea: what if vox had his wife lobotomized back when he was alive and that's why alastor feels justified in doing all this

[thursdayglrl]

thinking about how on some level being in the rcm and being white means harry can on some level “afford” to hit bottom. like obviously he can’t escape like the sunday friend or like dora he is decidedly not upper class but like. people are more forgiving of officers of the law. and people did die and leave him but the thing is that he’s allowed a grace period to “get his shit together” when he doesn’t even remember his own name. it’s not the first time that (what’s left of) his unit is there to play cleanup crew. it’s kim and his kineema that make him get up that first day. like the idea of being abandoned and left for dead sucks but it sucks because we’ve seen what happens to those people. the only other people who have that kind of loyal backup are like. the hardie boys and the mercs. (who are also police on some level, or serve as parallels to it). like i look at all the other characters and i think like... there’s no one coming to save them. cuno? the smoker on the balcony (”[...] he won’t be there when times get rough, i guess.”/”is that even a friend?”)? the man on the boardwalk? the drunks? the pigs? *kim*? like i don’t even have a very solid point here it’s just bleak

[duke-and-acceptance]

I convinced myself that I didn't want all the things in life I never felt worthy of.

a wife, children, a family, stability, happiness, I talked myself out if it all.

It was easier to break my own heart then let my own heart break me over and over.

[gayjaytodd]

just saw a tiktok from someone being like "the 911 writers can't write well-rounded female characters bc taylor was a bitch!" and like ---- first of all; wtf do you call hen/maddie/athena/karen/may if not 'well-rounded' characters??? and second; sometimes women suck, sometimes women are cruel and overly-ambitious and lack empathy, and portraying a woman as such doesn't make her 'not well-rounded'

[josephgraham]

some ppl on twit r being well nasty like lmao you dont even have to like max but mocking issues that ur followers or friends might also struggle w is horrible behaviour m8

[forget-me-not-automaton]

Bitches be having horrid self esteem issues over one (1) person’s post on the interwebs. (I’m bitches)

[teardropsonsmyguitar]

.

[aftgficrec]

Can't believe I caught this open. I love your page. Was just wondering about fics centered around medicated Andrew. Like the foxes realizing that the drugs were more harmful than helpful. Thanks!

Medicated Andrew is an AFTG hot button theme with a good amount of fandom meta, discussion, and umbrage to be found. Some fic writers go the fix-it route with time travel aus or canon divergent stories with different or zero meds (here's the ao3 unmedicated Andrew tag). When Andrew is on the problematic medication it’s usually Neil who wants it gone, but sometimes other foxes see it too. We also found aus with unexpected people wanting Andrew off the meds…can you say Tetsuji Moriyama or Fox!Harry Potter? We have a good amount of Andrew’s pov, and fanart that’s like whoa. What I’m saying is, buckle up for a wild ride, rabbits. -A 

previous recs:

Andrew’s meds here

‘They All Burn the Same’ here (updated)

‘take two’ here

‘Deals With Devils’ and ‘The Sun Still Rises’ here (both updated) 

‘The Sphynx and the Hare’ here (completed)

‘Hope Was A Dangerous, Disquieting Thing’ here (updated)

‘i'd die for you (that's easy to say)’ here

‘California Drifting’ here (updated)

‘Of Ocean Tides’ series here

‘This Is What Hollows’ here  (completed)

andrew pov:

‘The Court-Hole Fox’ (completed), ‘Fuck the Game’ series, and ‘oh be cautious, do not stand too near’ series, plus ‘Monster’ and ‘Monster 2.0’ (both updated) here

‘Fold me in your palms’ here

‘Therapy session’ here

‘Odd Eye’ here

‘Stranger To Stay’ here (updated)

‘The Real Thing’ here

‘And we’ll be running’ here

‘One More Time (With Feeling)’ here (updated)

‘we destroy everything we need’ here

you may also like:

post easthaven andreil reunion here

foxes revise opinion of Andrew here

‘Live Once More (This Time Will Be Better)’ here

‘Inked Truths’ series (parts 1 and 2) here

‘The Unkindness of Ravens’ here (updated)

I hate your smile by PateticabutBunny [Not Rated, 2066 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

One day on the relationship between Andrew and Neil And the drugs

tw: vomit, tw: addiction, tw: mania, tw: medication side effects

Another Raven in the Nest by 0bsessednerd [Rated M, 4051 Words, Complete, 2024]

“Minyard will cooperate, I’ll find a way.” Kevin ensured them. and Riko gave him a dangerous look. “If you don’t I will.” Riko said coldly, and everyone knew he would. Kevin better keep his promise, thought Neil, or Minyard was going to not have a good time. No one spoke for the rest of the flight. ~~~ Neil has a nightmare of Andrew being in the nest and part of the perfect court. As imagined it doesn’t go well

tw: nightmares, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: abuse, tw: torture, tw: ptsd

I would choose to live all this a thousand times, if in the end, I had you by FayeS2 [Not Rated, 42517 Words, Incomplete, Updated June 2024]

After almost a decade together, Neil and Andrew travel back in time to Neil's first year at Palmetto. Now, they must relive demons from the past. But at least they still have each other.

tw: drug use, tw: homophobia, tw: violence, tw: blood

Good Men Lie Too by heybabyricecake [Rated M, 100678 Words, Complete, 2024]

Me: Andrew and Neil are perfect for each other <3 their love story is iconic and they are otp and it's a crime to ship them with anyone else!!!!! Also me: Anyways here's a KevNeil fic :) Canon reimagined as if it were Kevin and Neil falling in love!! I take some of the story line from the original series but there's also very different plot points for Kevin and Neil for obvious reasons! Not Kandriel sorry. This fic answers the question: What happens when two Exy obsessed idiots fall in love???

tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: nightmares, tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: vomit, tw: canonical character death, tw: recreational drug use, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: homophobia, tw: involuntary outing, tw: assault, tw: blood, tw: attempted rape/noncon, tw: kidnapping, tw: alcohol abuse/alcoholism

Glow In The Dark by Anonymous [Rated M, 20984 Words, Complete, 2024]

If Riko Moriyama is Exy's number 1, Kevin Day is number 2. But, if Riko Moriyama is King of Exy, Andrew Minyard is the opposing pawn who’s crossed the board to become Queen. Andrew has spent far too long denying Riko what he wants and Riko has spent far too long fantasising about the day Andrew finally breaks to leave things as they are. And if you want a job done right, you really do have to do it yourself it seems. So RIko invites Andrew to Evermore for the holidays.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced medical abuse, tw: threatened rape, tw: abuse, tw: torture, tw: blood, tw: emotional abuse, tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: nonconsensual restraint, tw: nonconsensual nudity and photography, tw: internalized homophobia

Vivid by Anonymous [Rated M, 6884 Words, Incomplete, Updated Feb 2024]

Andrew returns to Palmetto State after his spending his winter break at Edgar Allan. And he's fine. Totally fine. Obviously. Hello. Welcome or welcome back. Vivid is finally here and got longer than I expected. So technically, this is a sequel to Glow In The Dark but you don't need to have read it to understand. Everything important is either there in the summary or will be explained in the fic.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced medical abuse

A collection of Andreil one-shots by Auviic [Rated E, Collection, Incomplete, Updated Jan 2024]

Chapter 1: Andrew Minyard's mistakes [6567 Words] Andrew and Neil find themselves amidst a zombie-apocalypse.

tw: graphic descriptions of violence, tw: blood/gore, tw: implied/referenced suicide, tw: gun violence, tw: drug addiction

Chapter 3: Tongue tied [5125 Words] Nathaniel Wesninski is paired with a new partner.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: torture, tw: blood/gore, tw: implied/referenced abuse

Sunrise by DeeLeBee [Rated E, 26499 Words, Complete, 2023]

Part 1 of Sunrise, Abram, Death 

Listen. All fans of All For The Game hate this fucking series just as much as they love it and I am no exception. Nora's writing doesn't make sense in so many parts, there are plot holes, WHAT ARE ANDREW'S MEDS ABOUT, and Nora was a coward because she planned to make Kandriel a thing but chickened out. (Love you , Nora.) Anyway, I am here to remedy all these ailments.

tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: recreational drug use, tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: nonconsensual kissing, tw: canonical character death, tw: self harm

We work well with crazy. by MBlack93 [Rated E, 45145 Words, Incomplete, Updated May 2024]

Neil is on the run for his serial killer father and apparently a Yakuza family with delusions of grandeur. Harry is on the run for the Dark Lord, the Light Lord, and practically the whole Wizarding World, except for the Goblins. Because Goblins are awesome.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced food withholding, tw: homophobia, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced human trafficking, tw: nonconsensual drug use

Andrew pov:

A Monster, A Defender, A Psychopath (You Maniac) by Lytta323 [Not Rated, 1953 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

Andrew has a bad psychotic episode due to his medication and gets the help he deserved sooner.

tw: self harm, tw: blood/gore, tw: mania

What if I’m the Monster? by 0bsessednerd [Not Rated, ​​1130 Words, Complete, 2024]

The pills sat on the counter taunting him. He really didn’t want to take these. But when had Andrew ever gotten anything he wanted in his life? It was his fault he had to take them. That’s what everyone told him. If he hadn’t gone too far, if he hadn’t been a problem he wouldn’t have to be on these. He wouldn’t have to be high out of his mind every fucking day. He wouldn’t have to give in to the addiction. He wouldn’t have to go to therapy. He wouldn’t have to be reminded he could never be free. He wouldn’t be a monster. ~~~ Andrew taking his medication for the first time and how he felt doing it. And how he felt after the effects kicked in.

tw: implied/referenced hate crime, tw: implied/referenced violence, tw: negative self image

a foxhole collection: on possibilities and digressions by vicariously kingly (pelted) [Rated T, Collection, Last Updated 2016] 

Chapter 21: andrew minyard in wonderland [734 Words]

for the prompt: pre-andreil snippet. in summary: andrew on drugs.

Feet Don't Fail Me Now by freefromenvy [Rated E, 56824 Words, Incomplete, Updated May 2024]

Neil was an exceptional runner until his past caught up with him. After years on the run, he was taken back to the Nest where he had to learn how to survive all over again. After Neil helps Kevin and Jean escape the Nest, Riko sends Neil to Palmetto to inform the rest of the Foxes that he will keep attacking their team, just like what happened to Jamie Smalls, unless Kevin and Jean return to the Nest. If Neil fails in his task, the Moriyamas will giftwrap, and hand deliver Neil to his father after he is released from prison. Neil has always known he has lived on borrowed time. He lived Alex's life, Stephen's life, James's life, and many more. Now all he wants to do is to be able to die as Neil and not as Nathaniel Wesninski.

tw: violence, tw: abuse, tw: blood, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced human trafficking, tw: blood/gore, tw: mutilated dead animal

Apathy by Marquee [Rated G, 144 Words, Complete, 2023]

Andrew thinking about people in his past. Including but not limited to awful foster homes, people who him on the drugs, people calling him crazy, just yucking people in general

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

Love Bites, Hate Bleeds by kongruenz [Rated M, 6286 Words, Incomplete, Updated May 2024]

Andrew's at juvie with nothing to look forward to, no life, no passion, just the constant need to be numb and bury what happened, to forget. Until Coach Wymack, Kevin Day and Neil Josten appear in his locker room to recruit him to the Palmetto Foxes. _ An AU in which Neil joined the Foxes before Andrew, and Andrew looks at Neil for protection instead.

tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: violence

I don't want to by The_7th_Void [Not Rated, 3017 Words, Complete. 2024]

Andrew runs late night errands with Neil and tries to fight his drugs. Neil is confused but helps him anyway. Or Neil lies. Andrew is honest.

tw: vomit, tw: addiction

I took the pills for these empty nights by All_for_the_andreil [Rated T, 6013 Words, Complete, 2022]

He gazes at Neil and thinks about all the questions he’s too afraid to ask. Would you still want me when I’ll be a mess? Would you stay even after you see how fucked I am? Would you hate me if I stopped playing exy for good? And perhaps the most important one: Will they kill you if we fail this season because of me? -or- Andrew gets diagnosed with bipolar disorder and is prescribed medication. Given his history with that, he has some issues.

Träumerei by Sashe [Rated E, 12038 Words, Incomplete, Updated May 2024]

Andrew never planned on joining the Ravens, not when Riko and Kevin demanded it, but Coach Moriyama is willing to bargain. And he sees right through Andrew in a way no one ever has before. He’s offering Andrew a home, people who believe him, a family who will never abandon him, and a chance at something to build his life around – something to live for. All he has to do is play Exy for him for five years.  or Just another Raven!Andreil AU

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: emotional/psychological abuse, tw: implied/referenced child abuse

We will survive to live by Whyreme [Rated M, 20663 Words, Incomplete, Updated April 2024]

Andrew had been a Spear since the age of thirteen. He endured a lot, but he had a mother, a father and a home. Until it all fell into ashes and his world was turned upside down. He fought back and lost everything, earning himself mandatory medication in return. So when Riko Moriyama and Kevin Day offered him a tempting deal, he couldn't refuse. He'd be a Raven, but that was a bigger cage than his alternative, right? or AU where Andrew never met Aaron and Nicky, was adopted by the Spear and has a very good reason to be a Perfect Court member. (Raven!Andrew and Raven!Neil AU)

tw: dark, tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: hallucinations, tw: horror, tw: blood/gore, tw: implied/referenced child abuse and neglect, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: medication addiction, tw: torture, tw: murder, tw: vomit

The Avarice Never Ends by stuntinf8 [Not Rated, 1341 Words, Complete, 2022]

Andrew liked Neil Josten in the way that a cat might like a mouse: easy to tousle by the tail, quick to fuss, simple enough to rattle. The meds made it even easier. (OR A medicated Andrew reflects on the anomaly that is Neil Josten.)

fandom thoughts and meta:

Dependence and Addiction in All for the Game meta by @the-greater-grief [Tumblr, 2022]

I need to talk about Andrew's medication meta by @deadliestpieceontheboard [Tumblr, 2021]

if Andrew wasn't on anti-psychotics, what was he on? meta by @amiandthechaos, @sinistercacophony [Tumblr, 2021]

why abby was so vehemently against committing andrew to rehab early? discussion by @bookmarkmyword, @deadliestpieceontheboard [Tumblr, 2022]

Andrew -Medication or Incarceration ? meta by @lemonboyjosten [Tumblr, 2021]

thoughts about Andrew…his mental issues and medication? by @palmettomonsters [Tumblr, 2017]

Andrew’s meds make me so fucking angry by @kazzyboy [Tumblr, 2021]

Happy Pills by Weathers song analysis by @meanie-boy-minyard [Tumblr, 2019]

Art

Alien Blues art by @fortheloveofexy, on ao3 here

“It’s a cruel world” art by @swarenar

Put on a happy face :) art by @allfortheslay25

bloody smiles art by @rhyva

meds art by @/rhyvva on twitter

I'm not okay art by @creekgods

apathy is a tragedy art by @doesephs

medicated Andrew art by @yolkylemon

sober vs medicated Andrew cosplay by @/csplyxeva on tiktok

aftg-tober day 4 art by @i-did

[fictionkinfessions]

sometimes i think abt how multiple of my kins use alcohol as a coping mechanism / are canonical alcoholics and i think Hm. Id Better Keep An Eye On Myself. (i know im genetically predisposed to addiction as well so like. Hm. Hmmmmmmmmmm.)

[sendmyresignation]

one of the things about where are your boys tonight i really appreciated and, to me, seemed like the most significant thrust of the book (but never garnered much attention, imo), was the focus on the business side of things and particularly the way the many bands never saw long term success or stability or the way a lot of very young people were taken advantage of even after making their labels and handlers metric butt-tones of money and this really culminated with the discussion about paramores record deal and the inherently coercive nature of making a 14 year old sign a record deal (not even really mentioning that record deal was 20 fucking years lmao) and yet i still see people argue she was an industry plant or whatever. sorry ig one of my fatal flaws is i give child stars the benefit of the doubt considering the fundamental exploitation necessary for that position to exist or whatever

[glittertimes]

I shouldn’t have to actively fight to not get addicted to things! Like why are things that are addictive so easily accessible to me!

[behindscenes-identity]

(TW: Discussion of Suicide, SH, Substance Abuse, and other related topics.)

Ten Important Signs of Suicide to Look out for as Someone who's Lived Through Suicidal Close Friends and Family:

1. Giving away gifts/belongings. Many who are going to commit may hope to give keepsakes or hope that others will take care of their stuff, or perhaps an apology gift for what comes next, and this can happen regardless of gift value.

2. Pushing others away in sadness or anger. Many, to ease the guilt, will push loved ones away and begin to act distant to ease the burden before taking their lives; some may feel that severing ties makes committing easier in general.

3. Substance abuse, such as drugs or alcohol. Many who are struggling may turn to drugs are alcohol to cope, though some may use it in hopes to purposely overdose, others may use it as a form of escapism to make the act easier.

4. Not discussing their future. In my experience, before one of my close friends attempted I noticed whenever I spoke of a future with him, he was avoidant, refusing to give straightforward answers, or when talking about the future himself, he didn't focus upon himself or include himself in the picture.

5. They seem to "get better". Many people on the verge of suicide will begin to retract common signs of depression, such as cleaning their room, grooming themselves well, doing chores, being more helpful, and overall more joyous; they may do this as they have finally decided on committing and have a spark of happiness due to finally being able to escape.

6. Self-Harm. Self-Harm, abbreviated often as SH, can come in many shapes in forms, such as minorly poisoning one self, cutting, burning, scratching, making pets scratch/bite, and many more. Not everyone who self-harms is suicidal, and not everyone who is suicidal self-harms, but the two do often overlap.

7. They lose their passion. Whether art, music, writing, sports, anything really, a person who is suicidal may lose interest in their passions and dreams as they may feel a sense that their death is now inevitable and do not seek to continue their passions, or procrastinate heavily.

8. Opposite to #7, they begin to overwork themselves in their passions. Suicidal people may feel an urge to get things done and feel a sense of accomplishment before they leave the earth and can overwork themselves or get completely absorbed in their work for escapism.

9. Talking about death or being a burden. Whether jokingly or not, they may begin to excessively mention these topics in conversation, which can often be an omen to their later actions.

10. Reckless actions. They may drive faster, take more risks they'd never do before, eat more or less, and experience either insomia or excessive sleeping. Many sleep or eat to escape, and others simply can't as their mental state begins to worsen.

Now, if I missed anything, let me know. I have experienced suicidal ideation and actions myself, but I neglected to mention this at the beginning; I made this for all my friends and my family who feel these ways and have shown them, and I want you to know, you're seen. To any stranger out there reading this, I see you too, even if we don't know eachother, you are heard, and you are not alone. Stay safe out there, and remember, not everyone who shows these traits is suicidal, as some are signs of mental illness/mental health, but it takes nothing to lend an ear or a hand. ❤️