#men abuse trans women too. any abusive man should be outed.

[girlbloggercrowley]

trending tag right now is filled with “guys the author is a terf!!! and this is an election year!!! think about the implications!!!” and all i’m thinking is

1: the allegations are not about trans women. the allegations are about a cis man behaving abhorrently towards two women. the author, whatever her beliefs may be, is not speaking from a transphobic perspective in the piece. she is talking about misogyny, and how powerful men get away with things. this is not about trans people. you are using trans people as a deflection from discussion about men in power, something that affects trans people.

2: you guys are deathly allergic to even considering that a man might have committed sexual assault.

3: this is not a government psyop are you fucking stupid

[genderqueerdykes]

if you are a trans boy, especially a teenage trans boy, i wanted to say that as a trans man in their 30's, you have my deepest respects and condolences for what you may be going through right now.

it has become socially acceptable and basically online custom to bully teenage trans boys & mascs, call them cringy, or excuse misgendering them for whatever reason. people put trans boys on this pedestal of "must perform masculinity and manhood to cartoonish degrees" even though they're still children.

people make trans boys fight for their manhood before they can even be boys. i am sorry people can be so judgmental and harsh on you. you are not wrong for wanting to be a boy. you are experiencing something wonderful. it's okay if you still want to be a boy even if people have treated you poorly, or tried to make you feel bad for being a boy. there is nothing wrong with being a boy.

it's okay if you never socially transition. it's okay if you're afraid to come out because it's not safe. it's okay if you never change your outward appearance. it's okay if you try very hard to pass but struggle to. it's okay if you wear "women's" clothing and shoes, bras, makeup, etc., it's okay if you're gay and love other men. it's okay if you're scared of hrt. it's okay if you don't want surgery. it's okay if you mainly occupy girl's spaces still. people will find every reason to pick these things apart and ridicule trans boys for, but they are all perfectly fine experiences that do not make you any less of a boy. you are the one who is in control of your transition, presentation, and state of being- you should be able to prioritize your safety over the comfort of random strangers who have no impact over how you live your life.

i've been put through this too, but later in life as i came out when i was an adult. people still try to make me feel bad for identifying as a trans man, for whatever reason they have in their head to justify hatred of a trans person. i've had enough. there will never be an excuse for how people try to excuse the infantilization and abuse that trans men and trans boys face.

take care of yourselves, no matter what age you are, if you are a trans boy, man, or masc you deserve to know that other trans men care about you, especially when people are scrambling to find ways to punch down on you. there are people who suck, but there are also a lot of people who care about you. keep your chin up. you know who you are

[aromantic-pantyanarchy]

It's me. I'm the cis, heterosexual, aromantic man. I will never marry, I will never be married, I will grow into middle age and elder age and I will die unmarried. I will be forced to support a household of myself on only my wages alone for the rest of my life. I will be asked about women and marriage and children by my family for the rest of my life (or men, the progressive ones might say). I may not ever come out to them. I feel like I burned my coming out on something stupid. I don't want to explain it. I don't want to run them through the definitions and intricacies. I don't want the acceptance without understanding, placating me with ceased questions and poor explanations to other, drunk adults.

I like my hair to be long, I spent a year with it dyed a golden blonde with dark roots because I like the trashy party girl aesthetic. I want to dye it again with pink tips. I like painting my nails, black and blue are my favorite colors. I like wearing chokers. I also like wearing baggy jeans and ratty hoodies. I like having stubble. I like having chest hair. I like having a square jaw and broad shoulders. I wish I had a flatter stomach and a thinner profile frame. I don't know what this makes me, perhaps this is something no more GNC than Machine Gun Kelly. I think about this a lot, how queer my appearance truly is. I should think about it less. I have thought long and hard about if I could be trans or if I could be non-binary or if I could be genderqueer and the conclusion I ultimately came to is that I most enjoy being a man open to whatever self-expression I want.

I don't date, but I've thought about it. I would like to meet people, and I would like to have sex with them. But I don't want to hurt them. I fear if I explain what I am beforehand it'll scare them away. I fear if I explain after they'll feel manipulated or abused. I don't know how many people in the dating scene want what I want. I fear my own lack of experience will make me a bad lay, an embarrassing story to tell to confidants in hindsight. I fear my own virginity, a boundary to those I wish to be like. All of these fears are baseless, as I've not been able to even begin a single relationship in my life. Despite this I still heavily identify with terms like "slut" and "manwhore" and "thot" because my interests lay so deeply within casual sex, sex without great intimacy or emotion. This may be some form of stolen valor. I hope the true sluts are not too mad at me.

I made this blog several years ago because a mutual of mine reblogged memes making fun of aro and ace people, making fun of the concept of aphobia, and in addition well known aphobes. I didn't feel comfortable talking about aro stuff on my main blog, for as little as I talk about it. Living through the ace discourse of the 2016 era has largely caused me to cringe in embarrassment any time I am forced to discuss my orientation with people who aren't aro or ace themselves. I no longer follow this person. I unfollowed many people I was mutuals with from that time, most of them because they posted too often about how much they hated men and I didn't want to see that, some because our interests simply drifted too far apart, only one for explicit aphobia reasons. (Also one because they became a "both sides are bad, any vote is wasted" libertarian, but that's unrelated.)

I guess at this point I don't care deeply about what strangers on the internet think of me. If a trusted friend told me that they don't think I'm truly queer that may hurt. But I am going to continue to use the word for myself. I take up no resources. I go to events that are open to me. If an event was not open to me, I think I'd not want to go anyways. I am not a hypothetical, I am not a strawman, I am a person with lived experiences both within and exterior to the queer community. If you hate me, I will permit you to continue to do so. But ultimately, I am who I am, I cannot change these facts, and I would not choose to do so even if I could.

[velvetvexations]

Can confirm I've been on here for years now and before Gamer Gate and then the rebirth of Terfism happened the widely accepted feminist talking point was that men suffer under the patriarchy and how we need to talk about that because one of the fastest ways to get cis men on our side was to show them we were already on their side!

I remeber posts with hundreds of thousands of notes talking about how men are assumed to be worse caregivers than women to the point that in custody battles even if the mother is beyond a shadow of a doubt the worst abusive mess ever and the dad is the embodiment of a perfect parent the kids will end up with the mom. It doesn't even matter if the dad says he wants the kids and the mom says she doesn't, the women still gets assumed to be the better caretaker!! This is misogyny effecting men!!

And I know MRAs are terrible but I remember a video going around talking about their recruitment points, like how more men die doing dangerous jobs and the draft or men getting no help when they've been abused by women and being assumed to be violent predators even when they haven't done anything and like yeah, they 100% came to the wrong conclusions about what causes the problems and what the solutions are bcs it's easier to act like women are the problem, but those problems as they were introduced in the early 2010s were actual problems feminism is trying to address, and if these men could see that we are fighting the same fights and join US we'd be stronger. There was a prominent internet feminist who got full on red pilled just by listening to men tell her about their real actual problems, and the time they pulled the rug out on blaming women it was too late, she was convinced, because yeah women aren't the real problem at the root of men's issues they do HAVE ISSUES. The trick is that they just need to tackle the patriarchy, not women. I also saw stuff that legit talked about how to recruit men by pointing out how badly the patriarchy "serves" them!! (GamerGate quickly ruined any and all salient points that existed in the MRA movement bcs the internet is a feedback loop and anger is easy/fun sadly but yeah I feel like it's weird to act like they were always wrong no matter what when they at least did point out real problems.)

And like RBG partially made her name in the courts defending a CIS MAN on the basis that he was being discriminated in a way a CIS WOMAN would not have been, and the ruling allowed for insane amounts of progress for women. A man not being allowed a tax credit to hire a nurse for his bedridden mother is one of the first things that challenged discrimination on the basis of sex in America. But sure men ONLY gain benefits from the patriarchy. It NEVER hurts them too!! And helping them won't benefit us!!! Making them our allies is silly they should all shut up 🙄

Hell back in the 2010s I still remember seeing trans men talk about how horrible and alienating it was for all of their female friends and family to suddenly start acting like they were a threat, and not just pointing out the inherent transphobia, the guy went on to talk about that they finally get why cis men are the way they are, they suffer from systemic emotional neglect. And yeah that obviously does not mean women owe them emotional avaliablity and sex, but maybe the patriarchy telling men to be big tuff guys who never hug or cry or like anything even a little girly HURTS THEM and is a direct cause of a LOT of the problems we're dealing with rn!!! There was a whole study about how widows tend to live a lot longer after their husbands because they have friends and family to lean on and weren't taught to suppress their emotions, meanwhile widowers tend to die VERY quickly after their wives because they no longer have someone who it's okay for them to be open and emotional around, and not having someone you can do that with KILLS PEOPLE. People were saying again, this does not mean women HAVE to take on all their problems, but maybe that we need to stop assuming men don't need emotional support and teach our sons to not be afraid of being ulnerable, honest people because systemic emotional neglect IS BAD FOR YOU ACTUALLY.

These were ACTUAL conversations that swept this damn site. This was the direction feminism was going in. We were on the cusp of a beautiful age of 4th wave feminism with the knowledge that the patriarchy seves no one well and free the nipple and no gender segregated bathrooms and sports, and now just pointing out that we need to maybe understand the ways men struggle under the patriarchy if we've ever going to have them join and help us build a better world gets my inbox flooded with both terfs and so called progressive feminists calling me a gender traitor for being willing to admit men arent the source of all the world's ills and WE NEED THEM ON OUR FUCKING SIDE. I used to proudly call myself a 4th wave feminist back when people still claimed to be of the 3rd, and now idk what I even am. A bell hooks and leslie finberg feminist I guess, since they actually seemed to get it.

Yeesh. Anyway sorry that got heated. This has just ruined my brain. I do not understand where tf we went wrong, bcs hell back in the day we also pointed out how TERFs were wrong to want men and people they perceive as men and those "tainted" by men put to death for existing so they could build their stupid white supremacist wombyn utopia. We KNEW hating men just for being men was wrong and regressive and hurt maringalized men and did NOTHONG to push feminism forward. We talked about the issues that men face and how to raise our sons to be better. But idk I guess Gamer Gate and the Incel movement took off right as TREFs figured out the whole ace and truscum discourse thing wasn't working and they just needed to doctor their arguments against men better and radical feminism took off and this entire site regressed 1000 years and thinks trans men of all people are just as bad as cis men and trans women have a monopoly on an entire axis of oppression like?????

And I'm not putting the blame squarely on anyone aside from the radfems who started this shit but it does NOT surprise me that we are seeing a massive resurgence of biphobic, transmedicalism, and aphobia since half the queer discourse I see these days is anti-transandrophpbia assholes just word for word repeating the kind of blatant aphobia and truscumery that would have gotten you suplexed off the face of the earth in the 2010s with the identities swapped. Just word for word monosexist aphobic shit. Legit is giving me flashbacks, it's insane.

I have never in my life been more disappointed in my community of queer feminists. This is masks all over again. Like is this how kids who grew up evangelical feel when they realized actually the adults didn't mean literally love all your neighbors silly just the Correct ones?? I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. What the hell happened to us.

Thank you for writing all this anon, you put enough work in it I'm gonna toss it in the tags, I think it deserves to be seen. <3

The problem with MRAs was never that they believed men had problems too, but that they used certain things - like their disadvantage in custody hearings, for instance - as a cudgel in a malicious crusade against a target they hated anyway for not fucking them. Now with as quick as people are to say things like "what, are you saying androphobia exists too?????" it feels as though we've completely forgotten the actual reason we ever hated MRAs to begin with.

It's the same with the dating article where the most basic possible interactions between two adults mutually seeking a hook-up were taken to be pick-up artistry.

[plaidos]

Im a trans man who was on the outside circle of a friend group led by another trans man, there was one trans woman in the friend group, and she was dating the guy who kinda led the friend group. I didnt talk to her much, because i didnt talk to anyone there much due to bad experiences with the people in that group (tried to bring up stuff like experiencing dysphoria before I was out and got screamed at by the lead guy for “appropriating trans culture” and how i couldn’t use terms like gender envy to describe how i wanted to look exactly like a cis man youtuber i watched. He also shamed me for my interests which he deemed morally iredeemable (homestuck) before getting back into it himself, and then it was fine) but yeah i didnt talk to her much, and then suddenly i was dragged back into the friend group to do an intervention for the lead guy for a lot of insane things, and the tgirl was the one who asked me to help. When i was known as the only girl in the group, i was the group therapist and mom basically, i didnt want to be, and when i pulled away/came out as a trans man it seemed they replaced me with the tgirl as the group mom. And we started talking. And oh my god. Anything they did to me wa %1000 worse with her. She had to convince a grown as man that being homeless was not in fact a good fall back plan to not being able to find a roommate and no it wasnt easy. But nothing compares to the way she was treated by the main guy she was dating. The things she told me were so awful, she was basically his bangmaid abuse prisoner, he convinced her to move in with him, and then she had to do everything for him because he was “too depressed” he would sit at his computer all day cheating on her with other trans men while she cleaned his whole fucking house, and cooked, and got physically ill from all of the mold that he had let grow on things like dishes. He only really interacted with her when he needed comfort or sex. And he literally forbade her from doing anything sexual herself including masturbating without his permission because “it made him feel like she was like the pedo that groomed him when he was young” any kinks she had she was told were perverted and degenerate, she age regresses which he compared to pedophilia, it was so awful on literally every level, and he had convinced her she was so worthless and unloveable that when i told her she should leave him she said it was fine and they were working on it. It never got better and when they did break up he spread rumors that she had been raping him. She then dated another trans man who did the exact same thing down to the rape acussations when they broke up. And i was one of the only people who tried to convince her to break up with either of them initially, i was the only person who was the first to speak up. Apparently the other men in the group agreed with me they just didnt say anything till after i did then suddenly they were all agreeing. Shes doing better now and her self esteem is slowly recovering, she still talks to that friend group excluding her exes, i dont talk to any of them except her anymore. Anytime i see a trans man say they cant be misogynistic or transmisogynistic i kind of hate them for it. I was literally screamed at for trying to come out because then the group wouldnt have their “token cis girl” yes that was my title in the group, to dump their issues on. And as soon as i pulled away they replaced me with a woman they treated even worse just because she was trans and easy to beat down. Literally the only two women in the group and we were forced into the mom friend role. Its awful and i hate that people cannot acknowledge it happens. Trans men are not magically exempt from misogyny, and the ones who claim they are are lying to themselves and others so they can benefit from it. That first guy? The one who was so awful to both of us? Hes on tumblr and hes a pretty popular fanartist, he reblogs save trans women shit all the time, i hate him so much and i hate people who are compicit to the abuse trans women face, sorry for writing so much

don’t apologise, thanks for having the courage to share your experiences. it makes my heart sink how familiar this story is, the amount of people who have shared fundamentally identical experiences to this — the belief that trans men do not and cannot utilise male privilege above trans women (even in trans spaces) is without a doubt the reason so many are able to get away with this. i’ve heard this same story dozens of times; trans girl who is being physically & sexually abused by her (trans) boyfriend, regularly being raped, yelled at, often hit & abused in countless other ways who then turns around and says “actually she raped me” when she finally has the courage to break it off. And people believe them, because they believe that trans women are all rapists one bad day away from hurting everybody, but trans men are biological victims who can never do any wrong.

im sorry this happened to you. i hope your friend is in a much better situation now. ❤️

[blossomthepinkbunny]

Poor rendition of queer characters in HH and HB

Here I am again talking about queer representation in Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, this time just more generally. Because it's always a little weird to me when people claim HH/HB to have good queer representation, when in actuality most of the queer characters are either just blatant stereotypes or get mishandled somehow. And with Helluva Boss recently winning the Queertys - Web series reward I think that this is probably a pretty good time to acknowledge that kind of stuff (as people have done before).

TW: Sexual assault, R@pe (when referring to the actions of characters)

Blitzø (Pansexual): is very sexual and seen on screen multiple times either having sex or just having had sex. Pretty much fits the general stereotype of queer men always being sexual and also the stereotype of pansexuals just sleeping with everybody. Like, he literally screwed the mutual Ex of his coworkers even though he knew how much that guy hurt them.

Stolas (Gay): also mostly sexual (from how he was introduced) and he is in a pretty terrible "relationship" with Blitzø, which includes coercion, SA, Power dynamics and fetishization. Another very sex-driven queer man. Also just great proof for the people assuming that queer relationships are inherently predatory, unhealthy and never work out.

Moxxie (Bisexual): is often forced into a very feminine role because even in relationships with women, queer men always have to be pointed out to be feminine and putting a guy in a dress is funny I guess.

Fizzarolli & Asmodeus (Queer): they're actually better than a lot of the other characters here but there is still some of that uneven power dynamic going on with them and there are obvious issues with their relationship. Overall they aren't too bad though. They didn't get that much sexual focus and what they got is kinda warranted since Ozzie is the Lust demon. But there is that one scene with Fizz stepping out of his car with Dildo confetti canons (I think) and that was sorta weird, since in an episode before that they presented Crimson as being homophobic and stereotypical for assuming queer men are all obsessed with dicks. Which is just interesting because thats most of the queer men in Vivzepops stories.

Chaz (Queer): just a sexually abusive asshole because we definitely needed more predatory queer men in this show.

Sally May (Trans mtf): basically the single recognized trans character in both shows and she only had one line. After that they made fan merch for her which consisted of her in a bikini with her bulge being drawn pretty visibly (multiple times). Of course there's nothing wrong with Trans people who don't have surgery but it's just a tiny bit weird to me that fanservice merchandise is what she got reduced to, when something like that wasn't even the joke of the only line she had in the show and because she hasn't recieved any kind of focus after that.

Angel Dust (Gay): now there is a lot of stuff that could be said about Angel. On one hand he is another very sexual gay man whose screentime often just consists of sex jokes and references. On the other hand that's a big point for his character. How he tries to act confident in his sexuality when in reality it's the main source of his problems. Though he does often harass other men in the show and that's just so unnecessary. Talking about Angel mostly leads into discussing if he is good representation for SA victims or not, which is something I don't want to talk about that much because I feel like it's not my place to judge that as someone who never has experienced SA. I'm gonna say that I do find Viv's treatment of him outside of the show insensitive (with the pro-shipping, diminishing Valentino as an Abuser and general sexualization of the characters) but as far as the portrayal of him in the show goes I've heard different opinions and you should read the discussion's of actual r@pe survivors about this topic if you want to know about more about it.

Husk (Queer): I don't have anything to say about Husk. He is a very refreshing queer man in these show's and there is nothing bad about him I could think of right now.

Valentino (Queer): for him I mostly want to talk about how he is treated outside of the show which doesn't sit right with me. He is a villian in HH so it's understandable that he is gonna do effed up stuff. I also like that the show tries to make a point about how men get sexually assaulted too (wether they succeeded in that inside the show I'm not gonna judge too hard like I said). But there are a lot of people who not only sexualize him, but also his actions and his relationship to Angel and from what I know Viv never really spoke out against that. She actually interacts with people who do that stuff and I it's just kinda gross.

Vox (Queer): I also don't have a lot to say about him. He and Val are a couple so he is dating a r@pist but he is also a villain so you can't really expect more from him. Especially since he would still be interacting with a r@pist even if they weren't dating.

Alastor (Aromantic, Asexual): is obviously not interested in relationships or sex but his identity is pretty much ignored by a huge amount of the fandom. Vivzepop never say's anything about people blatantly invalidating him like that. It seems to me like she doesn't care about characters who can't be involved in shipping but still wanted to have more diversity in her show so she just called him AroAce. In Hazbin Hotel he isn't bad representation though. His sexuality is never the focus but thats fine, it's mostly just the treatment he gets outside of HH which I don't like.

Charlie (Bisexual): doesn't have a lot to her sexuality. This is something I talked about pretty lengthy in my other post, specifically about the lack of Sapphic content in both shows, so I won't go into too much detail here. Her relationship with Vaggie would probably be the best in both shows if it wasn't for the fact that they both never get the real spotlight as a couple. And there is that thing in Vivzepops stories where the women are pretty much sexless without men and that's obviously something that is generally an issue when talking about the lack of Sapphic representation (which is also a topic heavily tied to sexism). Charlie's portrayal isn't necessarily stereotypical but that's just because there is nothing to her identity in the show.

Vaggie (Lesbian): like I said I already talked about the Chaggie relationship so now I wanna focus on something I didn't even mention in that post. Her name literally being Vagina and that's apparently funny because she is a Lesbian so she obviously likes Vagina. That's just incredibly stereotypical and also excludes Trans Lesbians and Asexual Lesbians who don't want sex. The whole joke was that Adam named her that because he is obsessed with sex and he's a jerk. But her name was always Vagina even in the pilot (from what I know Adam wasn't conceived then and neither was the idea that Vaggie even is a former exterminator).

That's all the queer characters I could think of. I hope I didn't miss any.

I thought about including Millie here too. But she was also already included in my other discussion post and I still don't know if she is canonically Bisexual of if that is just a headcannon so I didn't put her here.

I'm just gonna say that i don't have a problem with queer men being sexual (or any queer person in that regard). But it's pretty much every one of her queer male characters. This is especially bad when a lot of the relationships are toxic as well.

I just think too many characters fit stereotypes and to me that isn't good queer representation. If you like the depiction of queer characters in HH or HB that's good for you and you don't have to agree with me. But you also can't really deny a lot of this stuff and you can't expect others to just be fine with bland, hurtful and sometimes even toxic representation like there is in these shows.

[pokegyns]

the way that baeddelism & antitransmasculinity permeates & slips through every corner of the trans community and nobody does anything about it because transfems are this Protected UwU Baby Girls™ is actually so sickening. i’m tired of seeing literal baeddels getting away with saying shit like “men are oppressive. but by men we do not mean just cis males we mean trans men too! they are also men!” like. “validating” my gender identity only to dehumanize me & throw “tme” at me in a demeaning manner is not progressive at all. i am not “privileged” for being transmasc & i am not violent or abusive or powerful or capable of systemically harming trans women. i am not simply oppressed on the basis of being trans, i am quite literally, quite factually oppressed for being a trans man– i am oppressed for being a person of the female sex, and doubly so for being a person of the female sex who misaligns with cisheteropatriarchal ideals & inherently goes against what the cisheteropatriarchy has set upon me. i was punished & shamed for being gnc during my childhood, for being gnc in the way that female people are gnc. i wasn’t seen as a feminine boy, i was seen as a masculine girl, and i lived the childhood of a masculine girl. i went through all the hardships cis girls did, and i also experienced a subset of misogyny that specifically targets masculine & gnc girls– antitransmasculinity. i was punished for not fitting in with the cishet norms, for being autistic & not understanding gender roles, for not liking boys, for being the “strange odd girl”…

when i learned what dysphoria was & began identifying as trans, i did not suddenly gain male privilege overnight. saying that transmascs are a category of marginalized men might seem like a harmless statement, but it is often used for erasure & furthering transmasc invisibility, violent invisibility. it might “gender us properly”, but saying we are a category of marginalized men often fails to fully encompass the factual reality that we aren’t seen as men. we aren’t marginalized just for being trans, we are marginalized for being female & for being transmasc. our oppression more aligns with the way that lesbians, especially gnc ones, are oppressed, than it does with the way that any other category of marginalized men are oppressed.

telling transmascs that we “need to make sure everyone else around us is comfortable” & that we “should pander to the women around us” literally reeks of this specific type of misogyny that targets us. the way that the trans community tends to treat us as “just queer men” & quite literally erase the fact that we are trans, is rooted in deep misunderstandings of lesbophobia, antitransmasculinity, misogyny & gncphobia. when we are punished for being gnc during our childhoods, we aren’t punished for wearing dresses & liking make-up– we are punished for not doing that. when we are punished for not being opposite-sex attracted (i know not all transmascs are same-sex attracted, it’s just that a lot of trans people in general do tend to be ssa), we aren’t punished for liking boys/men, we are punished for liking girls/women. in what world are regular men punished for liking women? in what world are regular men punished for not being feminine? antitransmasculinity in the trans community either malgenders us & paints us just as capable of perpetrating misogyny as cis men are (even when we aren’t even out, apparently it’s ingrained in us– does that smell of gender essentialism???), or it straight up attacks us on the basis of our observed sex without even trying to hide it– see “afab privilege”, “theyfab”, “tme” (not necessarily inherently bad, but the way in which it is used is bad), “trans guys need to be subservient & quiet”, literal fetish accounts made by transfems who openly misgender us & talk about “detransition kink”… it all goes back to the good ol’ “shut up and let the smart people speak”.

this is not the way that normie men, even normie marginalized men, are treated. the crowd that malgenders us & expects us to be okay with their little “kam includes trans men!”, “all men are bad! including trans men!”, “trans men’s gender identity harms trans women!” comments because they’re “affirming” us… no. shut up. i do not care about being “affirmed” if the way you are “affirming” me is dehumanizing. transmascs do not have the systemic power to oppress neither cis, nor trans women.

the baeddel belief system, that misogyny is born out of transmisogyny (& not the other way around, at the very least), is also so fucking wild and insane. transfems refusing to accept that they’ve generally been male socialized & that they were punished for being gnc in the way that they misaligned with the cisheteropatriarchal ideals for being seen as feminine boys & not for being seen as masculine girls is one thing– dysphoria can take a massive toll on your beliefs, and i get being uncomfortable with the whole gender socialization theory (although it is legitimate, even if some people do use it maliciously), but it is another thing to firmly claim you weren’t under any circumstance ever treated as a boy at one point (then are you denying transphobia exists?? what???), but at the same time, transmascs absolutely were socialized female & we have this nonexistent “afab privilege”, BUT we’re also evil men who hate & oppress women of all sorts. but god forbid we ever enter women’s spaces or connect with women in any way, especially not with lesbians. we have no right to those spaces, and we are “invading” women’s spaces even if we do not pass– but non-passing trans women who are literally hypermasc & would look like the average normie guy if people didn’t know their gender identity (i’m not talking about masc passing transfems, transfems def can both pass as women & be masc) are free to call themselves lesbians & enter women’s spaces, and we are evil and bigoted if we say that’s dumb as fuck. we cannot ever connect with lesbians or, i apologize for the heresy, do the vilest sin humanity has ever seen & even call ourselves lesbians. we are hurting lesbians! we are totally capable of harming cis lesbians, because we totally yield systemic power over them, even if we do not pass at all. the trans woman whose lesbianism is fully dependent on her inner identity is more free to enter lesbian spaces & her lesbianism is more valid than mine, a visibly gnc transmasc butch’s who-is-not-out-as-trans. the trans woman who didn’t even experience transmisogyny growing up & wasn’t ever even gnc at any point in her life, is somehow more valid to call herself a lesbian, than i, a person whose childhood was practically made of antitransmasculinity & lesbophobia, am.

baeddel ideology is inconsistent. they either use radfem talking points but flip them all the way around & turn them upside down, so trans men are now as evil and abusive as cis men & oppressive to both cis & trans women & the entire reality of us being assigned female is erased, or they straight up attack us based on the very fact that we are assigned female & treat us as if we are not Truly Trans. either way, we are never acknowledged as trans. the former sees us as “just guys” (but keep in mind that crowd never uplifts us & babies us in the way they do to cis men, so again we aren’t even really seen as guys), and the latter sees us as “stupid theyfab ftms tmes” “who aren’t really trans”. in simple words, the former sees us as cis guys undeserving of male privilege (but still claiming we somehow have it), and the latter sees us as cis girls undeserving of cis privilege. baeddelism was designed to harm transmascs, and while it can also do harm to cis women (with the whole misogyny part of it), it specifically harms transmascs & even just gnc cis women. it deeply hurts me when i realize that these sort of people are out there dating trans men & transmascs. some of them even actually do the next step & start with physical abuse. it makes me so incredibly sad. i will never shut up about antitransmasculinity, no matter what.

– mod zoroark

[chrissy-kaos]

If we're too masculine then we're disgusting freaks. They collect the most masculine of us - innocent women minding their own business trying to live a life that was denied to them - and mock us, openly discussing how nobody could ever love us, how nobody could be fooled that we're women.

If we're too feminine then we're stupid men. They find the most tone deaf quotes from trans girls, usually those who have been out for only months if they're out at all. They find these quotes of girls still learning how to be women, post them everywhere as proof that we are just pantomime caricatures of women.

If we are too strong then we are violent and dangerous. We are an unfair factor in sport, evil men just trying to steal victories from real women. We could lose our temper at any moment. We are a risk that cannot be tolerated. If we're too weak then we are to be mocked. They call us failed men who ran to womanhood because we couldn't take it. We're victims of our own masculinity. Poor feminine men to be saved... In the same way that Republicans want to save those 'poor unborn babies.'

If we lose our temper we're back to dangerous men. But if we cry, if our shoulders buckle under the weight of endless, endless, ENDLESS, ENDLESS, ABUSE. Then they mock us again. They share pictures of trans women crying and laugh over it. Of course they make sure to find the pictures where our stubble is showing, our makeup has already run. It's not the way that women are mocked for weakness; it's the way men are. They find videos where are lips are trembling. Where our voice has gone deep because we don't have the energy to keep it at its heightened octave.

If we find ourselves ugly they mock us. But if we're happy with ourselves then we're disgusting degenerates. "Autogynephilic." Medicalized. They find the tweets of newly out girls who said something improper in their tiny moment of not guarding themselves. An awkward, amateurish attempt at roleplay or dirty talk becomes a meme. A woman who likely spent years growing the courage to begin sexual exploration, probably for the first time in her life, sees herself come up every so often in their replies, their threads, their gifs. What happens to these people? Is it even possible for them to ever resume that exploration?

We're trying to trick everyone into dating us. We should be required to show visible identification on us at all times; to be trans without the people around you knowing is deceit. But also, nobody would ever date us, everyone can tell, immediately, always. Everyone knows, the terfs say GLEEFULLY. Reveling in the idea that our subconscious is constantly telling us this. Basking in the thought of our depression and anxiety eating our minds until there's nothing left.

Even the terfs never stay the same for long. One moment it's a wall of 'concerned mothers' with all the passive-aggressive venom of a white woman calling the police because she doesn't want to put a leash on her dog; make ABSOLUTELY NO MISTAKE that these are the same people. The next it's anime-avatar alt righters. The next it's puritanical Christians claiming we are the natural result of the "rainbow agenda." It's lesbians saying that we're destroying lesbianism, following right on the heels of a pastor saying that anything that isn't a man and a woman is unnatural.

Half the URLs are Mumsnet and half are Kiwifarms. How many are bots? Sock puppets? How many really are just transphobic housewives accessing Kiwifarms from their phones? How many took the full plunge? The answer to all of the above is, we don't know, but it's a whole lot more than zero.

Every time we go into a bathroom, there's a chance we'll be the next screen shot pasted over reddit. It doesn't matter whether it's the men's or women's. They are equally unsafe.

If we need a women's shelter, we flip a coin on whether the person running it has already decided she hates us, because of these people.

We cannot upload a picture to facebook without this risk.

We cannot post about our lives without this risk.

We cannot appear at our work without this risk.

We cannot exist without this risk.

Every possible action we could take will be judged. There is no outcome that isn't negative. There is nothing we can do that isn't negative. Masculinine, feminine, pretty, ugly, angry, sad, sexual, frigid, proud, ashamed, strong, weak. Pre-op, post-op, non-op. Vagina, ovaries, chromosomes, fertility: womanhood is defined as whatever we aren't in that particular context.

I don't want to think about how many people this has killed. To call it a moving goal-post is inept, it is a void, an endless mass of hatred that follows us no matter what we do. Nothing is good enough. Everything, every single thing, is just waiting to be weaponized against us.

It has killed so, so many.

It won't kill any more.

If you're trans and you're reading this you already know everything I said. We've lived through it. You already know that I've spent time as all of the above because you have too. That when I get SIX HUNDRED COMMENTS calling me a man I want to swing my fists and I want to cry and I want to curl into a ball and I want to scream and I want to end my own miserable existence. The ugly beautiful girl in the mirror is so angry and sad and prideful and ashamed and violent and passive and this constant stream of abuse has torn me apart and created so many ugly things in this mind but if there is ONE. FUCKING. THING. THAT. THEY. WILL. NOT. MAKE. ME.

It is dead.

I will live. I will survive. And I don't even care about justice anymore. These people will get away with all this. Somewhere in that mix of the trans population and the infamous 40% number is a figure of how many people they've killed, but they'd never care. I'll live because all of their jeering and mocking and gaslighting and those goddamn fucking insufferable legions of laugh reacts, they don't do a fucking thing.

That's all it comes down to in the end. It's hard and it's painful and it hurts, it just ENDLESSLY hurts to weather their blows. But my name is Alexia. I am a woman.

You can hurt me all you like, but that won't change, and you can die mad about it.

- Lindwyrm Weisseritter

[tirfpikachu]

cw: me holding women accountable for sexism/gncphobia.

let's be real gyns... at some point, it does become weirdo behavior when tumblrinas who don't face male-specific gncphobia foam at the mouth to excessively call any flamboyant or unmasculine man the f slur or a twink or something related to being gay or trans bc a dude can never be too gnc or it must be a gay thing or a trans thing.

listen, i make jokes like that too. i prob sometimes still will. but i'm being self-aware and noticing my own sexism. i'm still working through my own internalized gncphobia, it's a life-long journey. i was taught growing up that anyone gnc and male is either creepy, gay, or a sex thing. and sometimes the jokes we make do get a good chuckle out of me! but i think we do have to be like... okay at this point are we making the gender roles boxes tighter? are we actually helping at all normalize gender nonconformity in society? do we truly uplift ALL gnc people or do we just do the woke equivalent of calling them girly f*gs for daring to not be hugh jackman level masc 24/7? do we truly see them as men, or lesser men? and if he wears a croptop or a skirt or shows emotions immediately he's "gay coded" or slutty? as if gnc men and transfems don't get chasers all the time for just existing. it's turning anyone gnc into a fetish category and honestly it feels Weird.

idk, if i was a gnc het man rn growing up with kids bullying him laughing calling him girly and f*ggy and gay etc, something that often turns violent, bc we know how male bullies are, going through that all the time... fearing getting hurt for existing, and then coming into leftist spaces and seeing all these nonstop jokes about any male person even remotely gnc being a wh*re or "visibly gay" simply for breaking gender norms, for saying fuck you to the patriarchy and wearing and doing whatever harmless things that shouldn't be gendered to begin with... even we leftists need to hold ourselves accountable for upholding gender roles. also, if you're not affected by male-specific gncphobia, you should be a good ally. i know this is the horny male blorbo website, but gay men shouldn't be our laughing stock all the time either. we shouldn't infantilize them or fetishize them or dehumanize them. people who don't face male-specific gncphobia should keep their sexism and homophobia in check too.

some of y'all, and me back when i was a teen honestly, really do at times objectify gnc behavior that should be a totally normal thing. we turn it into a spectacle. we re-enforce the guy in a dress looking embarrassed and laugh at it instead of seeing it as the result of him being aggressively kept in a box since toddlerhood to not do anything that wasn't a Boy Thing. often involving parental trauma and violent bullying as well. i want gnc people to be comfortable and normalized and be totally normal. i want to wheel past a guy in a croptop and not immediately think "omg he's so obviously gay" bc het men can just look/act that way! women ABSOLUTELY can be horrible sexist bullies and at times full-on abusers and keep gnc men in sexist gender roles. i have seen women say the most vicious gncphobic shit to men.

the reverse, of course, also applies to gnc women. sorry for committing the crime of caring about both gnc people and women. sorry for mentioning men & transfems who face gncphobia that we just can't relate to. i know it's seen as cringe, don't think about men even existing if you don't want to, idc. i have an equal foot in the women community and the gnc community. i do not care for sexist, gncphobic women, outside of generic feminist sisterhood. i as a gnc woman do not feel safe if all gnc people aren't respected. i know bisexual women protect bi men from biphobic women all the time, and woc have to protect men of color and get shamed for speaking up too bc they're all seen as "male bootlickers" or whatever. at this point sexist women make me shake my head and move tf on. immature, childish, defensive, and assuming bad faith. i align with disabled men before i align with abled women in some instances. at times, i align with gnc men before i align with sexist women. sisterhood is not unconditional. breaking gender roles will free us all.

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

I losing my mind https://www.tumblr.com/lesbianchemicalplant/726381536709132288/extremely-unsettling-how-some-people-have-actively

existing in public = having sex in public apparently? no you dont have a right to have sex in public if you have nowhere else to go? i mean ive never called the cops on anyone and i am myself not quite „innocent“ in that regard but this attitude is so odd. my neighbor keeps having really loud sex and it makes me part of something i didnt agree to, i dont watch porn so i certainly dont want to be in live attendance to other people fucking. but people in an apartment or a motel room are not even in public so i dont really see how any of this applies there. being bothered by being made part of a sexual situation you didnt agree to does not make you dangerous or violent what the fuck it just makes people understandably uncomfortable.

yeah calling the cops on prostitutes is something people do and it sucks but also i completely understand people dont want to live next to brothels or in the red light district because its not just people having sex its women being abused right next door and people understandably dont want to be made part of that. and also dont want to walk home and stumble over people having sex or worse, women being sexually exploited in the alley or in a car parked outside their house.

what really took me out is the reply though. no you shouldnt have sex with people who did not consent around and there might be consequences if you do? what is up with these obvious exhibitionists using sex positivity language (consent) and leftist ideas (cops are dangerous) to defend their fetish? if you dont have a private space to have sex, dont have sex. its not a human right, its not a necessity, you can just not have sex, especially if you dont have a private space. yes also if youre gay or homeless.

the only one i agree to obviously is women whose nipples are showing. but i feel like thats kind of thrown in there considering the rest mentioned. and i dont even think men should pee in public. they never wash their hands too. at least try to go somewhere nobody sees you but most men dont give a fuck they will stop walking right in front of you and whip their dick out like its normal. so i certainly dont think people who have sex in public should complain about consequences (like paying a fine, complaints and maybe even having the cops called on you).

another thing that is not even mentioned is that especially in public you dont know if someone is being assaulted? like if i hear something in a bathroom stall or see something in the park or an alley i might be afraid someone is being assaulted right in front of me. because its very difficult to determine as a witness.

this whole post can be summed up as shut up and let me be inconsiderate. porn brainrot guised under concern for marginalised people.

and to those of you who didnt guess it, of course, of course op is a trans identified man calling himself a lesbian. i knew this whole „we just want to exist“ sounded familiar. make of that what you will

[makoto-shizumu]

A Long Rant About the 2024 Olympics Boxing Gender Row

Disclaimer: DO NOT REPOST. This post contains personal opinions and information gathered over the past week concerning female boxers and Olympic finalists 🇩🇿 Imane Khelif (left) and 🇹🇼 Lin Yu-Ting (right), as well as their opponents. You are welcome to share your thoughts, but if you come to me with hate or an attempt to convince me they are men through claims such as that of XY chromosomes (which have never been proven, mind you), especially if you or your source(s) cite the corrupt, biased and discredited International Boxing Association (IBA), will be blocked and have your comment(s) deleted. If proper fact-checking is too much work for you, I suggest you save your energy and block me instead. On the other hand, if there are relevant updates or information that I may have missed, do let me know in the comments, and I will edit this post accordingly. Lastly, I do not condone the harassment of any of the individuals involved - that time is better spent on more valuable causes such as 🇵🇸 helping Palestinians, 🏳️‍⚧️ supporting trans people, and calling for the rearrest of convicted child rapist Steven van de Velde. Thank you for reading.

Angela Carini is not a hero.

We all know Carini abandoned her match not even a minute in and complained about being “punched too hard” by Khelif - who made the women’s lightweight quarterfinals in Tokyo. The cop competed in the welterweight division and lost her opening bout 2-3 to 🇹🇼 Chen Nien-Chin (who will join Khelif on the Olympic podium, fuck yeah).

Carini’s involvement has gradually garnered less attention since her apology, but she will have a long way to go before she can be forgiven, especially by Khelif. An Italian posted and translated her deleted tweet before the infamous 46-second bout clearly alluding to Khelif as a man, and Algérié Football Média recently released a recording of Khelif, where she explains how Carini’s club and the Italian media took advantage of her.

What’s worse, the IBA decided to offer Carini a hundred grand as a “consolation prize.” At least this time the Italian federation values their dignity more and refused the money.

Luca Hámori is not a hero.

Remember the Instagram story reshares that she had to take down? Besides the bull-headed giant, Hámori reshared another which called Khelif a korcsot - a dehumanizing Hungarian slur which Google interprets as “monster” or “freak,” but more accurately translates to “mongrel.”

Hámori entered the ring expecting to walk out as a “savior,” but it was Khelif who turned out to be the bigger person that day. Upon her victory, Khelif called out the IBA for their abuse towards her, but she fights on because of her faith in justice.

Svetlana Staneva is NOT A FUCKING HERO. Neither is her equally ill-informed coach, Borislav Georgiev.

This case makes me especially furious not just because I’m also a Taiwanese woman like Lin Yu-Ting, but also the abysmal immaturity of 34-year-old Staneva, THE SECOND OLDEST BOXER IN THE FEATHERWEIGHT DIVISION. Even Hámori has shown more decency in the ring, and she’s eleven years younger!

If you, like me, have watched their full match, you should acknowledge that Yu-Ting was undoubtedly the better boxer that day - same case in her RO16 bout against Sitora Turdibekova.

On the other hand, you’ll see that Staneva doesn’t need “protecting,” considering she literally held Yu-Ting by the head and SLUNG HER ACROSS THE RING (around 3:25-3:30). I’m sorry, Staneva, did you ever realize the audience was there to watch boxing and not wrestling?! And she calls herself a “proud XX woman.” Our commentators did not witness that gesture, but if they did I trust they would’ve been fuming as much as I have the past few days.

If she truly were a proud woman, she would not play dirty the entire time, then give up five seconds before the final bell. Look me straight in the eyes and tell me that you would want to be represented by such behavior. I feel sorry for the Bulgarians and her other supporters who had to witness such a shameful performance.

Oh, one more thing… Guess who the IBA gave a bronze medal in the 2023 World Championships after disqualifying Yu-Ting?

That’s right, it was Staneva. No wonder her coach was willing to give up all professionalism and pander to the IBA’s lies. And look what that got them - now they’re not allowed anywhere near the Olympic podium! This could be unlikely, but let’s hope they are punished by the IOC and/or any relevant departments back in Bulgaria.

(I’m not going on Twitter for a better resolution of this photo. This one fries my eyes enough.)

Esra Yıldız Kahraman is not a hero.

I am at a loss of words.

What the actual fuck, Kahraman. We thought you were better than this.

I will only say this once. DO NOT confuse bad sportsmanship, disinformation, transphobia, (inter)sexism, and racism with “defending women’s sports.”

Reducing womanhood to chromosomes, genitalia, physical appearance, and/or some other bullshit is the most despicable and disgusting thing to come out of such hatred, and I will die on this hill. And gender tests? They were abolished due to their ineffectiveness at identifying maleness after Atlanta 1996, but the IBA won’t admit it. And considering their latest mess of a press conference, they would rather stay relevant with empty claims and unnecessary threats. Stop giving them the time of day! Listen to the podcast Tested instead for more info on this matter.

Imane Khelif and Lin Yu-Ting did not make the podium in Tokyo, but they will both leave Paris with their heads high up and medals hanging down their necks - all the while the likes of “fEmInIsTs” and bigots such as J.K. Rowling, Elon Musk, Donald Trump, and Logan Paul can only COPE AND SEETHE. Their victory is a victory for women, a victory for Algeria, a victory for Taiwan, and a victory for the boxing world that I never thought I’d care so much about.

I’m counting on Khelif and Yu-Ting to win gold and dunk on all the haters all over again. But respect to every other medalist in the welterweight tournament for being great sports - 🇨🇳 Yang Liu, 🇹🇭 Janjaem Suwannapheng, and our dearest Nien-Chin. You all deserve the podium! 💖💖💖

[l0veraven]

why the fuck would you reclaim the violently transphobic webcomic instead of writing your own thing. awful. are you tme? don’t think i’ve ever met a tma leasebound enjoyer. funny.

I'm trans-masc (this is the first time I've seen the term TME so that was pretty cool to see), but there's more to it than just reclaiming the story.

I 100% disavow the author, Rusty, and her beliefs that she shoehorns into her story. Many of her characters are bland and one-note, and (even though the original story is wildly transphobic), it's turning the transphobia on its head and taking a critical look at transphobia while also focusing on the actual lesbian love story.

I'm not sure if I mentioned it in the Author's Notes from the top of my head, but the love story is heavily overshadowed by the story being a soapbox and shouting, "trans women are evil and ugly and [insert more insults here]." In my fic, I'm still bringing topics of gender into it, but in a way that, again, takes a deeper look and is an integral part of how the characters interact with each other.

We also need to talk about how allergic Rusty is to depicting men. That's actually another major issue I have. The flavor of terf/radfem beliefs that Rusty upholds is genuine misandry (prejudice/discrimination against men). I don't use misandry lightly and don't mention it much in conversation.

Chapter 12 actually highlights this point.

(Spoilers for people that haven't read the chapter)

Shez's backstory is explored and details how her trauma with her mother being in abusive relationships with men had negatively impacted everyone involved (the mother, siblings, and herself). The character being averse to men and having trauma is completely valid and I would never critique someone having PTSD. I, myself, have PTSD from abusive relationships (familial and otherwise) throughout my entire life, so this isn't something foreign to me, but everyone does experience trauma differently.

I bring up Shez's backstory because even though it's a perfect way to explain why she hates men, it perpetuates the idea that men are inherently violent, predatory, and abusive. This isn't helped by how Meriam, the mother, is genuinely heterophobic and refuses to acknowledge that therapy would be beneficial for her.

(Here are the heterophobic panels in question)

I understand where Meriam is coming from, even though I don't have the same trauma as her. It's understandable that she wouldn't want a man in her house. I see why she's avoidant of meeting Rissa's boyfriend. It's normal to avoid triggers.

What isn't normal is actively avoiding seeking help to work through trauma. This isn't to say she should invite men to her house and "get over it". It's that she needs to learn that not every man is out to hurt every woman they encounter. I had to get therapy myself in the past and had to learn that not every romantic partner will manipulate me, but need to establish boundaries to ideally avoid being in a situation like that again.

To point out the heterophobic lines (which is wild because this is the first time I've seen actual heterophobia in any piece of media)"

Rissa: "[...] SHANEZY doesn't NEED to date women. [... Your ex-husband] was ONE man, mum. ONE. [...] He treats me like a QUEEN. You'd know that if you just gave him a CHANCE!"

Meriam: "One chance is too many. Nice men are the best liars."

This is where Meriam is unable to see the nuances of human interaction. People with enough charisma, period, are the best liars. Could be Ted Bundy, could be your mother-in-law. Anyone and everyone is capable of lying and tearing a person down. Toxic lesbian relationships can and do exist. You don't avoid liars just by attracted to the same gender or only interacting with the same gender.

Rissa: "And WOMEN never lie?!? They're just perfect angels who can do no wrong?!"

Meriam: "Women cannot make you pregnant."

We'll look past the women being able to impregnate (trans women do exist, but that's besides the point). Rissa is making a very valid point. Anyone is capable of lying and you can't avoid toxicity by only avoiding one group of people. Liars exist in a variety of spaces and have a variety of identities. Men are not the only ones capable of bad behaviors.

Rissa: "[...] So my options are: be a fucking lesbian or die alone? Great!"

Meriam: "Rissa... I am not saying this."

But she is. To a degree. I'm assuming that Meriam would be fine if Rissa abstained from relationships entirely (but we can't forget that terfs tend to not acknowledge asexual and aromantic identities), as long as she wasn't with a man. In theory, assuming that Rissa is straight, she would unfortunately be pressured by her mother to remain single.

THE BIGGEST POINT HIGHLIGHTING THE HETEROPHOBIA HOWEVER:

Rissa: "What if we get married, hmm? You just won't come to the wedding? You won't meet his family? Nothing?!"

Meriam: "I cannot support this, but I cannot stop you either."

Rissa: "Well, I guess you'll just never see me after that then!"

Meriam: "You will always have a home here..."

THIS is the problem. Instead of trusting her daughter to ensure her own safety and establish hard boundaries in her relationship with someone she hasn't even met yet, she just doesn't trust men. Period. This dialogue is something that comes straight out of a conflict with a homophobic parent. Remember the lines, "I cannot support this, but I cannot stop you either," and, "You will always have a home here." This reeks of "I don't support your lifestyle, but I still love you and you're always welcome here. Just not your partner."

Why go on about heterophobia?

For one, it demonstrates how hating men is acceptable in the comic, because with how the conversation is treated within the comic, Rissa is the irrational one for not siding with her mother. The other aspect is that it perpetuates "man violent," which isn't really beneficial to anyone. It fails to understand the nuances of people as a whole.

We also can't forget the gay couple with a gender nonconforming son that only appeared for a split second and never returned. Again, Rusty is allergic to men. I actually hate how her friend rags on her "inability to draw men". I think it's untrue, and frankly, I like some aspects of Rusty's art style. However, Rusty herself has mentioned that she refuses to depict men in her comic (unless they're characters like Trinity AKA "Madame President" as shown in Chapter 13).

THE POINT IS:

Why not take a shitty piece of media and re-write it to make it better? It's kinda like being mad at all the anime abridged series out there because the original media is shitty in one way or another. Besides, the story itself has SO MUCH POTENTIAL, but it's completely ruined by the transphobia and focusing on that aspect rather than developing the relationship between Jaden and Riley.

This comic has been going on for 5 7 years and we got the backstory of a side character before getting a look at Riley's backstory. Focus on the main characters please. We haven't even gotten to the inevitable break-up between Riley and Blaire yet.

Who knows, maybe one day I can publish this fic as its own book like with 50 Shades of Grey 🙈

[psychicbouquetofstars]

Feminists for decades: here’s how the patriarchy and sex/gender binary hurt men too. To fix this, we need to get rid of these systems and fix how everyone is raised and treated so everyone can be equal regardless of gender/sex.

“Feminists” on tumblr: haha look at those transandrophobia truthers! They’re so stupid! Feminine men are attacked by cis society cause of their proximity to trans women, the Only Oppressed People Alive. What do you mean homophobia? What are white woman tears? How could women ever have power over men? If a disabled man is being mistreated by his female caretaker it must be his fault. Women are good and pure and wholesome and can never cause harm. Trans men and women have equal and opposite experiences that line up with cisfeminist framework. Kicking you out of your support groups is gender affirming, is it not? You’re a man, why do you need to be in women’s spaces? Reproductive rights? Stop erasing women. Haha look at that pregnant man, so funny! Why are you calling me transphobic? I love boypussy and girldick. We should all worship the Dolls (but if they aren’t perfect and feminine then they’re tainted by Male Socialization and inherently evil cause men are inherently evil). Radfems love trans men! You’re just pissy cause you’re ugly and sweaty and balding and fat and gross cause of testosterone. You don’t have any real issues, you just want men to be oppressed.

I’ll never understand how we got from an ideology focused on bridging the artificial gaps between humans to the cesspit of ✨inclusive✨ gender essentialism that has sprung up. Men and women aren’t different species, neither are cis and trans people and neither are the people who fall outside all those categories. You would think that focusing on how these systems of oppression harm everyone would be the next logical step toward breaking them down but we still aren’t there. How can we get rid of these systems if we only focus on half their effects and abuses? How does saying “your problems aren’t real or as bad as these peoples problems so just deal with it” increase solidarity? If you aren’t working towards solidarity, what’s your goal? How will it help us break down these systems once or for all? Or do you just want us to shut up so you don’t have to deal with having bad opinions.

Like at this point I wouldn’t be surprised to run into people whole-heartedly believing that men in general can’t be feminists. I mean, knock on enough doors and the devil will answer but we’ve seriously regressed in our understanding of gender and feminism and it’s sad.

[thelesbianpoirot]

It AMAZES me how trans identifier males have become the all knowing arbiters of lgb but mostly lesbian culture. That people treat these fetishists like they’re so precious and soft while reminding women that they’ll cause harm to those who don’t fall in line. Sick. I remember back when I was in the ‘let adults do what they want to their bodies if it’s healthy’ camp what made me turn was the way they’d always say ‘you should me open to dating trans ‘lesbians and black lesbians’ as if males and us are the same. It was so disturbing and nasty and it made me furious watching non black lesbians agree and try and fight me when I spoke out against the racism. The fact that people allow racism because they don’t want to hurt these males feelings is insane and pathetic and how I know no one thinks they’re women because women could never get away with such toxicity and inanity. Idk sometimes I lose hope because part of me feels like this trend will be over in another five years, but even waiting that long seems crazy. Plus it really could go on forever because people are obsessed with men no matter what outfit or pronoun they claim 

Sweetie! You're setting me off. It enrages me beyond belief that BLACK WOMEN are being classed in the same category as these loser failure men by these fucking nutjobs. It is even worse to me when they say black butches and studs shouldn't be "transphobic" because we're "practically" men. The amount of racism I have felt from this community is just overwhelming because you don't expect it. They even seem to go to lengths white conservative don't go to. Because in order for them to justify why they are worshipping delusional men, they have to start ranking women based on least and most like men, and they have decided women they aren't attracted to, Black women, gay women, fat women, tall women, and muscular/athletic women, even poor women are Men-lite. I have heard this rhetoric from trans people and their supporters more than right wing bigots. It's nasty! It's pathetic! It's sick! And Racist. And I don't go around pulling the race card for any old mess, but if another fucking white kid from the suburbs say some dumb shit to me like I can't talk about the black FEMALE experience because it is not inclusive enough, I will fucking go off. It riles me up too because black women are the most feminine women on the planet, AND That's a bad thing! I don't know another group of women who spent more time on beauty procedures, heterosexual roleplay, and value motherhood/having kids more than us. I read a korean book "If I had your face by cha francis", about how women are going into debt for their cosmetic procedures and are willing to undergo so much pain & discomfort beauty and it sounded so much like black women everywhere in the world. And I think a big driving factor behind the huge escalation in black women's behavior has to do with how common place it is for young black women to hear this outdated evil talking point that we are more like men than any other women. This is archaic evil shit man. Despite modern gynecology being based unethical and cruel experiments done on our female ancestors during transatlantic slavery. We are the blue print for womanhood, yet ours is being called into question, weighed and measured. WE INVENTED THIS SHIT! Five years is too long, I need this trend to die out NOW! And I am glad women are taking screenshots, videos and other catalogue of evidence. When this trend dies, whether I am forty or 100, I don't need people saying it wasn't that bad, or they didn't said any of this, or that they aren't susceptible to propaganda. You're right, I do think people will obsess over men forever, and this movement is the finale form of the patriarchy, when your serial killer wears you skin and larps as you, and can now receive government benefits, special treatment and law reform for it. This is a man's world and never has this statement been more true. Men are still abusers, rapists, enslavers of women and we are now bullied into accepting them as one of us. INSANITY. How am I not stark raving mad is beyond me?

[cringefaecompilation]

Wdym by mra-y arguments? I've seen some things that mill down to "Imogen is a crazy hysterical bitch that they need to put down" but i wanna know if there's anything I missed :0

i kinda brushed up on it in the ask, but the insistence about imogen not giving a crap about his feelings because he’s a man is/was weirdly popular. which is a flagrant lie, imogen understands how this mission sucks for him getting triggered day in and day out by having to interact with the guy who traumatized him, and has enough empathy to not want to take away the gods for fear of mass-traumatizing others. also, if you think she hates him or thinks her trauma is “worse” skill issue, no the fuck she doesn’t. please actually watch the show instead of getting angry at a “no boys allowed” twitter user quip about how much they want imogen to punch him in the face.

this also affected fearne a bit too, mostly in the way of “if only dorian was here, he would understand how orym is feeling/ashton is the only person in bh that cares about orym’s feelings” as if fearne isn’t his best friend or went through similar things. also dude’s just very “don’t rock the boat-y” in all his actions and often intentionally distracts the team from his feelings because he doesn’t want to bother them and at some point you can’t blame everyone else for it.

unlike most drama, this one actually has reasoning behind it. unfortunately, that reasoning is stupid. it took the massively equally dumb shipping drama behind the beau.jes community that was inundated with trans woman exterminatory radical feminists and applied it to im.odna and bell's hells. while there were and still are people who acted like women were perfect and all the men were abusers in the c3 fandom, a lot of complaints about the guys ranging from casual nitpicks to bad faith fanfiction were painted with the same brush of “crazy man-hating feminists” (because i guess trans women don’t exist or something?) and acted like all the women were evil demons getting every one of their eviiiiiiiiil actions excused because they had estrogen in their bodies. it was fucking dark. if you headcanoned imogen as a lesbian you were basically chucking heterosexual little boys into a meatgrinder. why else do you think laudm.oore got so insufferable?

look, i get it. it got annoying seeing people demand fcg get blown up for being reckless or that laudna should eat orym or that they should have abandoned ashton on the side of the road any time any of them did something sort sighted. but the way to get around that is not to start saying that imogen’s meant to go full dark phoenix and kill the party because she’s crazy and murderous or that laudna is just a delilah chrysalis from day one and is biding her time to strike. or that they’re going to be evil demonic lesbian twin bbegs that get murdered and then perc’halia and fjorester can make out on their grave.

on the flipside, watching people chuck orym and ashton under the bus any time one of them did/does something that they took personal offense to is so odd it loops around to being funny. double if they’re a delilah stan. like, who is worse for laudna? an abusive white supremacist-adjacent woman that tortured her nonstop for 30 years and tried to kill her thrice over the past month or two guys who act like selfish tunnel-visioned pricks to her intermittently? like you think that it’d be no contest, but a shocking amount of people choose the abusive woman because they headcanon her to be far more interesting than she really is and/or “at least we’re not forced to think she’s a good person!”

[loveless-arobee]

Cis woman really love to jump on any chance they get to hate on trans men huh. And during pride month at that, but what am I expecting from cis people?

Literally anything about criticising men and you can be sure cis woman will be like "yes trans man are horrible because evil bad man 🤬" Cool opinion we were talking about the abuse enacted by white cishet men on all marginalised groups tho.

"Every single trans man out there is a horrible misogynist and choosing to be a man is disgusting and you should die or go back to being a woman because woman good pure perfect and man bad, and no, that’s not transphobic, how dare you accuse me of transphobia you misogynist??"

Also saw a post full of cis women shitting on trans men for… preferring male characters in fiction? Focussing on male characters in fiction? Headcannoning female characters as trans men? Totally normal trans man stuff literally??? Like yes maam, that’s a boy trying to figure out his gender, it’s totally understandable if he’ll spent most his time with male characters????? That doesn’t mean he hates women?! How are you even getting to this conclusion? (Also literally harassing people for their preferences in fiction is… something. Especially trans people, yknow?)

I'm literally so tired of cisfeminists.

Cis white women really love to look for marginalised men to beat up and make fun of and act like it’s "punching up" because evil bad man and all man are oppressors (just ignore history! All man are oppressors and no group of men has ever been oppressed, least of all trans men! Because as you know, everyone accepts when a woman finds out he’s actually a trans man and he now gets all social benefits of cis men. Ignore the past and lived truths of trans men and other marginalised men right now!!!! I’m right about everything!!! You stupid little bi- I mean bad evil misogynist!!!)

Happens to MOC. To trans men. Queer men. Disabled men. Cis white woman just love abusing marginalised men. (Also happens to women who are not cis or white or abled or thin etc., too. And people who are neither men or woman and don’t fit into their cisfeminist worldview. Cis white women just love punching down in general.)

Trans men don’t have any systemic power over cis people. That’s why they’re so easy for you, dear white cis women, to attack. You have systemic power over them.

Anyway. Appreciate the trans men and mascs in your life today and everyday :)

To every trans man who sees this: you don’t deserve this treatment. You aren’t bad for being a man, the world is a better place with you in it. Much appreciation and support from your multigender sibling here :)