#medications tw

[karnakian]

boohoohoo me scrolling through this blog i miss leon man i miss writing i miss being here so much

[aslyfcx]

I feel like I hurried back here too quickly and I apologized for leaving again so soon (taking a very very long break) after I announced I’m back. I thought I was ready but in reality I wasn’t. The threads are on hold, asks are on hold.

I’m gonna explain why I’m leaving again under the more section but it’s gonna touch some touchy subjects. It’s gonna be a veryyyy long post.

I am not asking for advice. I’m simply posting this because I want you guys to know what’s going on and why I’ve been on and off more often than usual.

Having an alcoholic stepfather scares me a shit ton because he just gave me a fucking heart attack because I could hear him coughing and choking from the living room while I was in my bedroom. Mom heard it too.

Mom, younger brother (he’s an adult, just want to clarify), and I dealt with him so many times because he has fallen a lot of times this year, stumbling around, putting his pajamas on only to fucking fall over, drinking every damn night…some days, it got to a point where he will drink in the morning and other days he just drinks all fucking day long. He denies being an alcoholic and he denies that he drinks even though he does.

My younger brother had to be the one to legit lift him up off the fucking ground whenever he falls.

On top of that, it’s bad enough I have to deal with helping my mom out with her grandmother and watching my mom be responsible for my grandma’s financial stuff because my grandma is still getting taken advantage of by my toxic ass sister and my toxic oldest nephew. They’re still fucking asking her for money even though they don’t even have the fucking guts to go to my mom to ask because they’re fucking scared of my mom and they won’t face my grandpa because my grandpa was fucking infuriated, told them off when he first found out.

This shit has been going on since February of this year and my mom’s been taking care of her shit for months, fucking months because nobody else knows how to handle financial shit. My mom never had a close relationship with her mom but damn—she’s only doing this to make sure my papa doesn’t get screwed over.

Everything is so fucked up and I’m tired of trying to put on an optimistic facade here in the server and out in public but I know I have to so I don’t have to make people worry…although I am finally getting all of this out.

I did let my therapist know but it just keeps getting worse and worse. I tried a new medication and that didn’t fucking help so I’m left with the current medications I’m taking.

And we had to look into my grandparents’ wills, we had to update my papa’s will with his consent because he didn’t feel right leaving everything to my toxic ass sister and my oldest nephew. My grandma basically just left every single fucking thing to my toxic ass sister and nephew, she made my toxic sister the representative in which we’re not changing because my toxic ass sister had been using her fucking card for OF aka OnlyFans, expensive shit too. We had to get her a new card when we first found out and then recently we had to close her card because somebody used her card for Hiltons Hotel which was $1,500 in which my mom declined that purchase, the bank closed her card.

My grandma is paying for my uncle’s rent and home (the home that should’ve been paid off years ago but it wasn’t), my toxic ass sister and nephew’s rent for the place they’re staying in, car insurance for my toxic ass sister and my uncle. My sister put my grandma’s name under her car on the fucking Audi while she wasn’t herself at the time. She fucking took advantage of my grandmother.

She’s paying for the goddamn truck that my nephew drives. She is paying for everything.

It hurts seeing my mom busting her ass and my own grandma doesn’t even care. She just jokes saying she will go to prison when we told her that it’s serious about this matter. She just fucking jokes about it.

My grandma has been diagnosed with primary biliary cholangitis back in February or so. She has liver issues and she doesn’t drink. She never fucking drank. She’s on medications to help her liver keep going and help get the toxics out of her liver otherwise she will not get enough oxygen to the brain if she doesn’t take these goddamn medications.

[herleaf]

YALL IVE BEEN HAVING THE WRONG MEDS FOR TWO MONTHS AND DIDNT REALIZE UNTIL THIS MORNING. The med I thought is was didn’t auto refill and they didn’t tell me and so I picked up the med to take when I get anxiety attacks only and thought it was the stomach acid meds. So I’ve been wondering why my stomach hurts but I’m so calm and didn’t question it. The dumb bitch juice was chugged. But all is well and my psychiatrist told me what to do but like… how did the stars align so right but so wrong for this to happen?

[ghostlytalkin]

I want to be super clear, and because this deals with my attempt and some pretty dark ass stuff regarding MYSELF I am going to put it under read more, nobody is obligated to read it but to clarify for probably more my sanity. But I ask that please don't go to others blaming them for what I tried to do. I took things that was said and let it swallow me instead of ignoring them like I would do towards a lot of people. This being said, here is a crazy long message.

TRIGGER WARNINGS:

suicide attempt, medications, hospitals, stalking, death threats, police {briefly}, long ass post

I am not going to blame ANYBODY but myself for my attempt at suicide. I suffer greatly from suicidal idealization and the idea of dying before getting old. I suffer from depression and my therapist and I are working to narrow down the type of depression I have because it acts like the tide changes and they do not want to give a automatic diagnosis. I also deal with minor obsessions and hyperfixations which we're working on.

I did spend some time under suicide watch in the hospital. I had my sister checking up on me through my nurses, who were super nice and one let me talk her ear off for nearly fifteen minutes before my meds kicked in and I passed the fuck out. I have been going through the motions of anti depressant medication and tbh I kinda hate them because of how tired they make me. But I am still taking them because everybody has told me that it takes time to adjust and my therapist said that it cane take a bit for your body to adjust. Plus I have insomnia and so the sleep I guess is needed because I've sleep deprived myself for years and worked on only 1-4 hours of sleep since I was in middle school.

I know I said that rpcvent outed me, but it was pointed out I had an earlier post where I put that I was evie/eevee. I honestly forgot about it and thought people pieced it together from rps I've mentioned having been in. That is on me. Even if I don't agree with rpcvent on things everybody has their own opinions and it is whatever.

I am getting help, I have decided to put this blog on pause for myself except for 1 day a week I will put things in the queue to run for the other 6 days. I will be having my inbox open for others to still come to if they choose, nobody is obligated to come to my inbox. But my inbox will be monitored by another so if death threats start coming in the inbox will be closed again. This is not up for debate and my person monitoring my blog will delete anon hate directed at me.

If anybody wants to be respectful and be like "hey this thing that you did had hurt me/a friend/somebody I know." I am open to it and bringing it to my therapist to find a corrective action on how to change and do better. I will also apologize. I never intended to cause people harm, more like call out their behaviors after they'd been talked to. I want to be better and do better and not having been told before I was causing issues I had no idea. I want to do better and make sure I am not that person.

For the people who were saying I was online while I was away and reporting it to other blogs

Please, don't monitor somebody's online status like that. For me personally it triggered my ptsd. I spent the last 6 years with an online stalker in the witch community who would monitor when I was online to try and narrow down my timezone to then would start asking my friends where I lived. They used multiple accounts to try and find out and get close to me under fake names. It got to the point where police were involved because they told people they had found out the area I lived at the time in Oregon and had gotten a plane ticket to come find me and kill me. And this all started because they were watching for me being online.

I am a pretty guarded person because I am scared of that happening again. I was almost doxxed three times, twice to this kind of person. It got so bad that police both in my state and their state was involved and it was confirmed they did have a plane ticket to Oregon. On discord I have a constant status of being idle, sometimes I will switch it to DND if I will be away longer than a few hours and forget about it, and it's because of this situation. I have a protective order against my stalker and charges had been pressed for telephonic harassment {which sounds fake and I thought it was fake until the officer I was working with showed me it was a real thing}.

And I'm sure somebody will run to tell this to other blogs, fine. Yeah I was stalked for SIX years. But what did I do? I told them I could no longer help with a situation I won't get into detail about and other people started to talk about how creepy stalker was and they said it was me telling people. That is the jist of it because frankly that situation has been dead to me and I've been trying to live my life despite my stalker persisting up until two weeks ago.

Please don't just monitor somebody's online status just to report it to others. That's really uncomfortable.

AS FAR AS THIS BLOG:

I will leave it up. There is two call outs that need to be up for others. This being the Elysium items, which was requested that I reblog and leave open for everybody so they can always have the receipts of behaviors and that of Cody because I've also been asked as he still is not taking accountability for his behaviors towards women and those who look feminin.

I will be doing more research before I post things, I'll look into whatever you guys send me or I will continue to ask for proof. Again, no proof sent will be posted without permission unless it is proof I personally found and posted. I want to do better, so I will make myself more informed.

I'm not going to join rps though to find things, that's weird and I think would be suspicious and I am not comfortable with doing that. What other people do and then send to me is on them. But right now I will be only answering things one day a week and will converse with my therapist regarding things because it's important to monitor. I'll be taking the rest of this week and next week off to allow myself a break and have time to further process and heal for myself for what I've done.

Thank you for reading this if you did. I am apologetic for the hurt that I have caused and I hope y'all have a lovely day.

[compassionatereminders]

The worst thing is that there is so much potential for exploring the horror of psych wards from the angle of medical abuse, ableism, forced treatment/drugging, loss of autonomy, power imbalance, demonization, dehumanization, etc, and YET the horror genre keeps defaulting to "insane asylums and psych wards are scary because there are mentally ill people in there"

[queerbauten]

I freaking love Sudafed

[cowboylexapro]

look at my doctors dawg im gonna die

[ruporas]

dragon meat, you, and me

[whatcha-thinkin]

Tell your stories in the tags, if you want to share!

[fatliberation]

anti-fatness is not just body shaming.

anti-fatness is discrimination. anti-fatness is having next to no legal protections for being discriminated against. anti-fatness is being denied housing, jobs, receiving less pay and promotions (legally) because of your size. anti-fatness is being denied access to clothing, seating, transportation, and other human rights because infrastructure has been designed to exclude you. anti-fatness is less likelihood of receiving a fair trial. anti-fatness is dehumanization. anti-fatness is being denied necessary surgeries, but not surgery that amputates the digestive tract with the intent to starve and shrink you (it doesn’t work either). anti-fatness is mutilation. anti-fatness is being subject to torture devices that bolt your mouth shut. anti-fatness is being told by close friends, family, and professionals that you are better off living with an eating disorder or other life-threatening illness. anti-fatness sells you starvation as a guaranteed opt-out of oppression, but doesn’t tell you that bodies will always regain weight to survive. anti-fatness blames and punishes you for failing at an achievement that is quite literally impossible. anti-fatness is a $90 billion dollar industry. anti-fatness is being denied gender-affirming care. anti-fatness is being barred from in vitro fertilization and reproductive healthcare. anti-fatness is being barred from adopting children. anti-fatness is being removed from your loving parents because they couldn’t make you thin. anti-fatness is intentionally starving your own baby so they won’t get fat. anti-fatness is disproportionately high suicide rates. anti-fatness is being killed at the hands of medical neglect and mistreatment. anti-fatness is the world preferring a dead body over a fat one.

[shamebats]

[uncanny-tranny]

Fat people deserve mobility aids, too. No matter if it's connected to their fatness or not, because having a mobility issue that is connected to one's fatness won't change that they're still fat and still have the issue at hand. Fat people don't deserve to "tough it out" because fatness should be this divine punishment doled out to those who "deserve" it. Fat disabled people deserve to have the peace of mind that they can exist in whatever way is most comfortable and accessible to them

[go-star-sailor]

homoerotic wellness checkup

[genderkoolaid]

medical literature about intersex people be like "there are problems that can be caused by forcing surgery on babies. luckily we are solving this by forcing surgery on even younger babies. it is vital that this baby CANNOT be left alone to develop normally. here is our 36 step guide on which surgeries you should force on which babies. also some people have said that forcing surgeries on babies might be "harmful" so consider that too I guess"

[compassionatereminders]

Hey did y'all ever think about that if doctors blame all fat people's medical issues on them being too fat without proper investigation and then feel justified in neglecting their medical concerns, then statistically more fat people WILL develop and potentially die from serious health issues and it might not actually be because of the fat when everything comes down to it

[dailyhistoryposts]

Dora Richter

Dora Rudolfine Richter/Dora Rudolfa Richterová (1892-1966) was the first known person to undergo a complete surgical transition. Born to a poor farming family, she was immediately noted to be feminine in her actions and dressed as a girl. In 1916, she was encouraged to go to Magnus Hirschfeld's medical practice.

Officially living as a man (and arrested multiple times for dressing as a woman), she worked at the Hirschfeld Institute for Sexual Research, and over 9 years had multiple surgeries, including being the first transgender woman to undergo vaginoplasty.

In May 1933, students attacked the Hirschfeld Institute and all records were burned. Richter, like many others, was presumed dead, but had successfully escaped to Czechoslovakia, and later Bavaria. She lived until the age of 74, where she was remembered as a sweet old woman who fed the birds and let them nest in her handbag.