#mental illness tw

[youneedsomeprompts]

~ IN A VOID ~ FORESHADOWING DEPRESSION PROMPTS

requested by: @crochet-cafe request: How can I foreshadow or hint that my character has severe depression? I want to make the reveal a big deal when it happens and catch readers off guard

Feel free to use and reblog!

having other characters associate the person's mood with their character traits ("they're always grumpy")

masking their depression really well but being absolutely drained and a lot worse as soon as they're alone

appearing as a 'neutral' person, when their neutral mood actually indicates the emptiness they feel inside

their growing passivity makes them fade into the background

the more excited other people get the more downcast the person becomes (they get perceived as a killjoy)

they don't accept invitations anymore

they always say they're busy but can't answer the question what exactly they're doing

they show no emotional reaction in a fight

everyone says about the person that they have such a hard shell

they usually have been very caring and sensitive to everyone around them but suddenly they seem like they couldn't care less

for more inspiration/how to help: ~ SHOWING SUPPORT FOR SOMEONE WITH DEPRESSION ~ WRITING PROMPTS

note: If you or someone you know feels that way and really needs help, please seek professional help <3

[awkward-sultana]

Dissociation (v) - A mental process where a person disconnects from their thoughts, feelings, memories, or sense of identity, essentially experiencing a detachment from reality, often as a coping mechanism to deal with overwhelming stress or trauma

[absolutelybatty]

My boy getting proper medical care.

[gor3sigil]

I have to share a story about why I HATE the term "trauma dumping".

So basically, we were at my at the time partner's house with friends of them and we were talking about mental health.

I don't remember exactly how we came to this but one woman started talking about psychosis and her sister who is schizophrenic.

She had a lot of preconception about this and, while I am not schizophrenic, I dealt with psychosis and hallucinations.

So I started to talk about my experiences with that, stating AGAIN that I wasn't schizophrenic but I thought it was an interesting point of view.

Some other people started asking questions so I answered them, asking here and there if it was okay for me to talk about it, and nobody, INCLUDING the woman who started the conversation in the first place, said anything.

And at one point I saw she was uncomfortable and asked her if she'd rather drop the subject.

And then, she BLEW UP on me saying that I was trauma dumping, that she felt like she was partaking in a conversation she NEVER ASKED to partake in (again, she was the one who brought up the subject), that I was being insensitive and over sharing shit and that she didn't like it.

Like, bitch, I asked a bunch of time if it was okay, you were the one talking about these symptoms without even living it and trying to teach people some crappy over the counter shit, but now that she wasn't the Main Character with the Knowledge it became an issue and I was the problem.

I know that I'm open about my experiences and tend to talk about it but I ALWAYS make sure that people on the other end are okay with me sharing this. This was just utter bullshit.

And online or IRL, I just noticed that the term "trauma dumping" is just the easy way out of a conversation that makes you feel uncomfortable while putting the blame on the person doing it.

You can absolutely put boundaries, but don't you dare guilt someone just to avoid being seen as an asshole and make yourself clean of anything. It's healthy to state that you are uncomfortable talking about things, but you can do so without making up shit about others.

[theprofessionalpromptmaker]

“The difference between caffeine induced ADHD and natural ADHD is that caffeine induced ADHD has Bipolar mania hanging off his arm, Bonnie and Clyde’ing it, whispering in his ear ‘money is an illusion and dopamine is real’, whereas natural ADHD has Bipolar mania tied up in the trunk with duct tape over her mouth with ‘mood stabilizers’ written over it.”

[4ssmallasad0ll]

i’m going to vibrate if my parents say no to therapy AGAIN after i talk to my doctor abt it.

also i have a question

i used to think i might’ve had a specific mental illness but now idk so how do i ask my doctor to help if i don’t know like what i need help for yk

if anyone knows pls tell me !

[jofms]

open @anchoragestarters

where: maiden alley cinema

josette had quickly taken ill after the discovery of the case at her new place of work but she needed to get back to work to start stabilising herself. it felt like one thing after another and the hardest part was staying afloat whilst she felt like she was getting pushed down, harder each time. the brunette had finished her ticketing shift at the maiden alley cinema for the evening and it hadn't been so bad. it wasn't something that majorly elevated her stress levels, she managed to have some interesting conversations with customers and employees alike about movies and themes - things that took her mind off things for at least a few hours. putting on her jacket ready to go, she looked towards the door and just stopped. what would have been the coming of the night sky just filled her with absolute dread. had she left it too late? she'd worked a little overtime but hadn't expected the light to drop this significantly. what if whoever left the tape for her was waiting? they'd already been inside her place of work and had known about her recent employment. the woman just hung around the front door, onlookers wondering if she was coming or going.

[babyjakes]

tw; mental illness, medication

abruptly ran out of my meds a few days ago and i’m actually,, my brain is ?? i need to go get them but ? im like can i evendrive rn ? i need to never do this again this is terrifying i will probably i think just force myself somehow to go get them today like i think it will definitely get worse if i keep going without

[elliscousland]

this post is meant to dissect ellis' experiences with bpd! okay, while writing this i would like to say that in no way am i trying to villainize bpd. i am trying to talk about how ellis navigates it & how it affects him / has affected him throughout his story & interactions. if you feel like anything here does the former, feel free to reach out to me privately & we can talk about it.

relationships. ellis is drawn to people & rushes into relationships with them very quickly. this can be romantic, platonic, anything else. he thinks he knows how he feels about a person very quickly, without necessarily knowing them to a full extent? he aches to be known, he begs for that kind of connection with someone else but in trying to achieve that doesn't always know them in full. this can lead to very intense but unstable relationships. example: his relationship with morrigan. he loves her with everything in the moment. during the blight, she is at the center of his world & follows her around like a lost puppy. he looks to her as a rejection of the values that failed him, he looks to her as a light in the darkness. like a candle burning very bright, but quickly. he falls out of love quickly after the blight because his priorities shift with the situation. he goes from wanting to find her to wanting to find their son when he doesn't go through the eluvian. she is no longer physically present & so neither are the things that he loved about her. things that were surface level, things that he wanted to see. i am a big fan of the idea of them always being doomed because neither of them had lived enough in the world to really know who they were & what longterm would look like together.

a lack of emotional regulation. ellis is always on one side of the emotional spectrum or the other, he doesn't really do in between. he can't half-ass his emotions & because of that it's not difficult for him to build false narratives around situations? his feelings get hurt, he will build up a whole scenario in his mind as to why it might be on purpose. he'll believe that scenario until presented with facts to disprove it. ellis tends to take things very, very personally. he can't really go ' it's not that deep ' because to him, it usually is. even if something is meant to be superficial or a joke, he might take it out of context & weaponize it against himself. which can of course lead to splitting & extreme emotional reactions, because he thinks the intent is to hurt & he is like. well, i'll get you first! though the concept applies from a positive perspective too. if he thinks someone is starting to like him, he will throw himself at them. he will cling to every detail about them maybe wanting him around. how he processes that changes with age, but it is his knee-jerk reaction when meeting & interacting with new people

splitting. ellis' emotions can turn sooo quickly. if he feels backed into a corner, he'll turn his teeth on the people around him. he assumes that people are constantly looking for a reason to leave him & if that feeling comes to the surface, he wants to give them a reason. either that or he wants to leave before they do, but either way his mood can flip from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other when the right triggers are aggravated. it's very much that bpd thing of he can experience every emotion ever known in the span of 10 minutes & mean every second of it. on the outside, it might look like he is having big, overblown reactions to things when in reality, he feels with the intensity he presents if that makes sense? like of course they are bigger reactions than a neurotypical brain might have, but they are sincere.

highs & lows. on top of splitting, it's also super super important to emphasize that there isn't very much of an emotional midground within ellis. whatever he is feeling, he is feeling through his whole body. his soul. his being. it's a huge part of why he cries & emotes overall so easily, because he is always bursting at the seams with whatever he is currently experiencing.

sense of self. his sense of self can be very distorted, though this is definitely aggravated by his schizophrenia. i won't be getting into how here, but i will link the schizophrenia post when it's up. but in relation to his bpd, he is constantly in a state of reinvention. his definition of who he is changes by the day, with the people he surrounds himself & the situation he's in. he reflects the needs of the world around him & defines himself by those needs. because of this, he is left with super intense feelings of loneliness & emptiness. he feels unknown because not even he knows who he is all the time. he doesn't always value himself as well & defines himself by how the people around him perceive him, which is a very mixed bag & intense thing to live by when he is a public figurehead. example: ellis at the beginning of the blight is terrified of magic. scared to death of the propaganda he has willingly engaged in via the chantry his whole life, because that is the same propaganda the people he loved bought into. after he kills connor, he does a complete 180 about blood magic because he see's it as a necessity in the people around him. blood magic becomes something that can save people instead of standing by the long standing moral ' of blood magic is bad. ' both of these stances are affected by the needs of the people around him & he feels very strongly about his stance both times. longterm, he does pursue blood magic as a means of staying alive which sort of cements that shift / the inherent hypocrisy in him rejecting it until he needed it.

the people around him. he often expects the people he loves to be looking for reasons to leave him / cut ties for him. which leads him to throw himself at relationships w a lot of the intensity mentioned earlier. he wants to savor every intense, burning hot moment, with other people but knows by the end he will be left with nothing but ash. this is, of course, not always the case, but it is a matter of his perception. he expects that things will not work out & so he prepares for it in every relationship. this can lead to some unintentional manipulative behaviors in him, whether or not he makes a conscious decision to do so. he wants to remain useful & wanted to the people around him for as long as he can, despite what he often feels is always an inevitable end. i actually think these songs ( here, here & here ) kind of explain the feeling.

he holds grudges. where someone without bpd might get over something in an hour, a day, a week ellis struggles in letting go any imagined & perceived slights. he doesn't just " get over things " in any context. even if he claims he's emotionally moved on from something, he will still lament about how he acted & what the past held. even in his mood swings, there are things that he will always return to in his mind because he can't just put them down & keep them there.

survival instinct. his survival instinct rises & falls in a very unregulated way. a huge part of ellis' fluctuating moral compass is also wrapped up in how terribly he wants to live. he doesn't have goals in wanting to live, he has ideas of what he might do but he wants to survive the things in his path desperately when it comes to him thinking about the longterm. in the moment, that concept doesn't always apply. he will throw himself into dangerous situations without a second thought if he thinks that is whats nescessary, which he often does. he doesn't really engage in a lot of behaviors to maintain the longevity of life he wants to, save for the aforementioned blood magic & measures outside of whatever moment he is experiencing. example: ellis, via astoria, sends avernus a steady stream of grey warden recruits in order to experiment on them & find ways to extend ellis' life via the blight. he makes sacrifices for his desire & instinct to persevere & survive. but, when in a fight he will throw himself at a threat without thinking about whether or not he is going to walk away from it. he's willing to do these horrible, terrible things to extend his life without doing things in the moment to preserve it. he drinks too much, he fights too much, he's prone to engaging in behaviors that will hurt him longterm because he has difficulty envisioning that longterm. also this plays a huge part in him making the decision to do the dark ritual with morrigan but not operating in the battle against the archdemon with much thought about how he was going to survive it. that is a conversation for another day though.

dissociation. because of the intensity of the highs & lows ellis walks, it is not uncommon for him to try & distance himself from those emotions in order to try & survive them. the world & his actions cannot always be real because if they were, they would drive him more insane than he already is. so he has a little space in the back of his brain where he tucks himself. though it's easy to rip him from that place, it's not a graceful transition & coming back to earth means everything is going to hit him harder. a lot of his goals aren't set to improve himself, but instead to move away from the emptiness of his lack of self-understanding or the pain of things he can't let go & overcome

there is honestly probably a ton more that i can add, but this is where i'm starting with the dissection of ellis' mental state. thank you so, so much for spending the time to read this & try to understand ellis. i have put so much love into him over the years & i really want to make it clear how his brain works & why i love to peel him like an orange

[ellinorefm]

──   (  synnøve karlsen. twenty4. cis woman. she/her.  ) thank god you’re here, man - have you seen ELLINORE 'ELLA' ANDERSEN anywhere? i totally lost them after their rendition of long snake moan by pj harvey last night. no? they’re like, aye - high and go to PALLADIAN - i think they’re a SOPHOMORE studying FASHION DESIGN? but who knows, these days. all i know is that they’re CREATIVE & ERRATIC and a CAPRICORN . last night they kept going on and on about how they won MOST LIKELY TO NOT WORK A DAY IN HER LIFE last year, which is cool and whatever, but i just wouldn’t expect it out of them, considering they’re so, like, COMPETITIVE & OSTENTATIOUS , you know? anyways - i’m going to check down by the lamb and flag, i think that’s where they like to hang. text me if you see them, okay? bye! / as penned by kate.  28.  gmt.

triggers: death, mental illness, abandonment tw

growing up, ellinore believed that she was an only child born to an american father and a british mother. she never saw much of her father due to his work commitments so raising her ultimately became her mother's job only. she would grow up splitting time in each country, making sure that she had that connection with her mother's parents, etc. the andersen's were extremely wealthy - her father had inherited millions from his late father and his high flying law career only added to the pot. ellinore's mother had not come from wealth and for some reason, she was ashamed of it. the woman would go on to say how wealth felt very isolating. by the time ellinore was twelve, they'd move permanently to the states for her father to start his own law firm, leaving england behind. the move would hit her mother the hardest.

unfortunately, her mother would pass away just a year later and it would leave ellinore confused, having more questions than answers. it had been clear that her mother wasn't happy - had she missed something? the loss of her mother was a great one - ella turned to partying and considering her father was never home, she had the perfect place to host. many people turned up but there was no one who could she could actually call a friend. it felt like no time at all until her father had replaced her mother with a younger model and this only lead to further resentment. he spent even less time in the house, said that she 'looked too much like her' - the to were married within six months and that raised alarm bells - how long had it actually been going on?

ellinore's own mental health started to rapidly decline and all of the people around her failed to notice. she had managed to make a friend at her new school, someone that stuck by her and defended her when necessary but it didn't feel enough. learning that she had a sister, that her father had cheated on her mother like that, that he had rejected the other - it was the ultimate betrayal. she wasn't good enough for him, that's what it felt like. after that revelation, it made her wonder whether her mother had known and that had caused her quick demise and if so, how much pain she was truly in whilst trying to look out for her daughter at the same time. it was the unknown that greatly upset her. ella didn't trust him, she couldn't. although he hadn't been around much, she did idolise him due to his work ethic but that quickly faded once she learned the truth about him.

she'd got drunk at her birthday party, slept her her friend's boyfriend and suffered what could only be described as a mental break. it had all got too much and she was in such a self-destructive mode that night. despite being hurt, her now ex best friend had been the one to call the emergency services that night. she'd lost everything, her mother, her best friend, her father as she was convinced that he hated her - he only came to the hospital once to visit her and then never again (he was too busy travelling around europe so it was clear where his priorities lie).

all of her higher education plans were cancelled for the meantime. she would go on to study fashion design but was finding recovery rather difficult. it was hard to be in that big house by herself. ellinore had rejected her sister as well but this was the time she was so close to reaching out, however, they didn't know each other, it wasn't like she could reach out for help. two years later, ellinore started to go to university but dropped out six months into her first term. there was a lot of pressure, she felt unsupported, she had become the 'mean girl' stereotype because she knew that people had a hard time liking her so why not just play into it? her sense of self and self-worth was greatly lacking and people saw her as trouble. of course, she was excellent at parties, a charmer just like her father, but it was all surface level and what people said to her face instead of behind her back was very different.

feeling like she was getting worse and worse, she finally reached out to her aunt, in bath, and went to stay with her (it was something she should have done a long time ago). the woman was warm, patient with the challenges that came with having her in the home and letting her adjust. at first, the constant attention did frustrate ella but looking back, it was because the other woman was concerned about her behaviour, about the lack of love her father had shown her, even in her darkest hour. it was her aunt that helped her get back on track, helped her apply to palladian, helped her with her portfolio.

just when ella finally felt settled into this new chapter in her life, another curveball was thrown - what did you mean, her sister now attended the same school as her? it felt like fate was laughing at her, trying to disrupt her life again. it is an unneeded stressor that she never thought she'd account for and she can feel herself starting to spiral again. she's older now so can deal with it a little better but corvina's presence does bring up a really dark period in her life and all the emotions associated with it.

little notes:

she hasn't disclosed her struggles with her mental health and wants to avoid it when possible. however, if she drinks and gets upset, it definitely shows and leaves people wondering what's going on with her.

gets carried away with a party - drinks too much but also never wants to leave until closing, even if she's in tears.

ellinore also has somewhat of a fake standard english accent - her mother's influence, a way to distance herself from her father, lack of sense of self, there's multiple reasons for the accent tweak but she'd been talking like she does for years now and it has stuck.

can really sing! she used to be part of choirs but got bullied for it so hard in her high school freshman year, she quit. calls singing 'lame' but then gets on karaoke and...

is trying to actively avoid bumping into her sister (that won't last long).

isn't sure what she wants to do with her life. she's really into fashion design and fashion (dare i say that she's a fashion queen with her unlimited daddy's money budget?) but isn't sure what she'll actually do with it. the goal would be to become a creative director for a major fashion brand but she doesn't feel that feasible. versace's going to start looking, right? maybe an influencer is more up her street...

is a loewe stan.

loves pj harvey.

a fan of dark nail polish.

sometimes talks in her sleep.

[pclarcld]

──   (  nick robinson. twenty4. cis man. he/him.  ) thank god you’re here, man - have you seen SEBASTIAN "BASH" STARR anywhere? i totally lost them after their rendition of come on eileen by dexys midnight runners last night. no? they’re like, aye - high and go to LANGSTON - i think they’re a GRADUATE level studying CHEMISTRY? but who knows, these days. all i know is that they’re ASTUTE & ABRASIVE and a SCORPIO . last night they kept going on and on about how they won MOST LIKELY TO END UP IN JAIL last year, which is cool and whatever, but i just wouldn’t expect it out of them, considering they’re so, like, DAUNTLESS & STOIC, you know? anyways - i’m going to check down by book stew, i think that’s where they like to hang. text me if you see them, okay? bye! / as penned by parker.  twenty7.  est. 

BIO PINTREST MUSINGS VISUALS WC INSPO THREADS

STATS

full name: sebastian "bash" samuel starr

birthdate: october 31st, 2001

parents: daniel starr (estranged) & elizabeth morrow (estranged)

siblings: cameron starr (deceased) & ______ _____

gender: cis man

pronouns: he/him/his

sexuality: pansexual

languages: english, asl

height: 6'1

hair color: brown

eye color: brown

tattoos: multiple scattered stick n poke

PERSONALITY

+traits: astute, dauntless, inquisitive, creative, loyal

- traits: cataclysmic, abrasive, impulsive, stoic, overwrought

labels: the crimson, the hellion, the bibliophile

aesthetics: bruised knuckles, making a “fuck you” gesture at authorities, glossy & reddened eyes, cigarette smoke, the smell of old books, writing obscene messages in the bathroom stalls, doc martins, black coffee, picking locks

character inspo: john bender (breakfast club), jess mariano (gilmore girls), lip gallagher (shameless)

fears: claustrophobia, the unknown, dying alone

hobbies: writing, reading, photography, gaming

likes: cats, winter, solitude, sex, drinking, drugs

dislikes: hypocrites, loud eaters, mushrooms, the heat

myers-briggs: intp-t

hogwarts house: ravenclaw

temperment: choleric

moral alignment: chaotic neutral

HEADCANNONS

bash is your local dirtbag asshole who thinks he's 2 cool to get close to people. catch him pushing everyone and anyone away !!

but he's kinda just an asshole as a defense mechanism. he has a heart sometimes :(

once he cares/loves u he probably won't ever stop even if he acts like it . like end of the day even if it was the worst falling out over he'd still probably drop everything. he's loyal as fRICK

def spends wayyy too much time partying. is he ever really sober ? idk. he def has some problems he doesn't wanna admit

he’s a scholarship kid baybeeee

catch him with a bpd diagnosis but never doing anything to healthily cope ever . very on/off on treatment plans

he hates authority and he hates being told what to do

he just wanna be cozied up reading a book and forgetting the world

hes estranged from both his parents and likes to pretend they don’t exist ! his mother walked out when he was fairly young and his dad liked to numb his feelings with alcohol which made him quite !!! unpleasant to be around

he's the smartest idiot you'd ever meet. iq says he has braincells but he's so stubborn on thinking he's always right it can get the best of him

his undergrad was in chemistry and minored in journalism and he kinda battled like does he wanna do a smart big kid job or like.. have a job he actually enjoys

he has a older brother that passed and due to all of that he kinda spiraled and thinks he needs to do something bigger than himself, so he thinks the way HE can make a difference is getting into forensic scientists and being able to collect allll the facts. he likes it but also ... there's kinda this creative gap and void

prolly always carries a lil pocket notebook to write ideas, poems, and doodle

WANTED CONNECTIONS

SIBLING ; the only one who knows how and why they're both so fucked up. "siblings are like branches of a tree. we grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one". open to backstory changes, or half sibling? maybe even step siblings could work. i love me some complicated family dynamics.

RIDE OR DIE ; no matter the hardships, they always have each others back. maybe they knew each other before college or grew close more recently. "even though we're goin' through it. and it makes you feel alone. just know that I would die for you"

FIRST LOVE ; someone that finally made him let his guard down and open up his heart. "but if the world was ending you'd come over, right?"

PARTNER IN CRIME ; perhaps they're a bad influence on each other, but they know how to have a good time. "they'll call our crimes a work of art. you'll never take us alive."

ENEMIES ; these two hate each other. always have and probably always will. whether it's just personalities clashing or a drama-filled falling out. "your words up on the wall as you're praying for my fall."

other ideas, but always up for some brainstorming: tutored, old bully/bullied, childhood friends, exes (good terms/bad terms, i only imagine him having a serious relationship or two tho), fwbs, one night stand, ex friends, frenemies, unlikely friends, unrequited love/crush, drug dealer, friends that typically only hang for partying/drinking/drugs, someone he's gotten into fights with, the "other" person.

[zuzsenpai]

mental health update

I've been having a pretty shit year as far as mental health goes. I mean, I had an actual mental health crisis in February that was one of the scariest times in my life. It was all because I was trying to taper off a psych med and apparently that was a BAD idea.

In the months that followed, I was able to avoid a bad depression spiral thanks to getting back on that particular med. But I've been getting more and more exhausted, and when I have anxiety, I have it REAL bad. Like shaking and chest pain bad. Thought I had covid and nearly passed out waiting the 15 minutes for the test results. Zuko was sick and had surgery and I was in a constant state of misery and shaking and dizziness. I know I should probably get like... Xanax or something for this. Maybe I will in the future.

Anyway, my focus is almost non-existent these days. During and after Zuko's health crisis last month, I have been at a point where my brain just can't move. I think I've spent the last 30 days scrolling tumblr because that and projects at work (the ones with deadlines) are the only things I can actually get my brain to do.

I want to work on fanfic. So I open a project, but then am immediately like "no I can't get myself to mentally be on the same page as this project". I think about a different project and my chest feels tight because I both want to do it and don't want to do it. It's painful. I accomplish nothing. I want to play a game or watch a show but the thought of putting effort into those things destroys my ability to do them. I just sit and continue scrolling tumblr. I long for conversation but when I'm actually conversing with someone, I can only manage a few words and I hate myself for it. I long for validation or praise on past projects to help motivate me into writing fanfic again, but I know that's selfish and I know it doesn't motivate shit.

This is where I am right now. I don't know how to have fun or relax. I don't know how to focus on anything. I don't know how to want to focus on anything. I waste entire days fretting about doing nothing.

I've also never been more exhausted in my life. I got bloodwork done on vitamin D, B12, iron, and thyroid. All are within normal range. So I'm getting a consultation with a sleep doctor (I get about 5% deep sleep per night, which is NOT good). We'll see how that goes.

I'm starting an exercise routine soon. I'm hoping that does something helpful. But I keep pushing the date back in my mind like "let's start exercising next week"... so you can imagine how that's going.

[theprofessionalpromptmaker]

“Maybe it’s a good mood. Maybe it’s a manic episode.”

[whileurmine]

might go for a lil stint in a mental hospital in the morrow. (ill be good really dw about it) which means there's a chance i might both disappear for a week or two or suddenly become v active and i don't know which. so just giving a heads up for everyone if u see me being v inconsistent thats why.

[sweetmage]

Me: I should be more open about living with BPD to fight the stigma!

Also me, affected by the stigma: But what if people don't understand what BPD actually is outside of pop culture demonization/fear mongering and are scared of me?

:(

[nekrophoria]

Situational depression, seasonal depression and chronic depression are having a freakin party in my head rn