ellinorefm

[ellinorefm]

"that's what i always say." ella nodded in agreement. "didn't really sign up for an orientation day and why do people suddenly just forget that maps exists as soon as they step foot in a different university? wild." she deadpanned, waiting for a moment and fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "pretty sure if you asked google there would be the local's guide ready and waiting... but it depends what type of vibes are for you, really. i often go to the lamb and flag, it's a pub and it's cosy and chill - the campus bar is... less classy." ella had said that as if she was acting classy in there when it couldn't have been further from the truth. "or are you the type that likes... books?" her eyebrows raised in interest.

" oh . " she wondered if she should put on a british accent , pretend to be a palladian student who was also stressed about the merging . she wasn't sure she could pull it off , and she couldn't become a laughing stock . " it' so stupid . they act like it's the first day of kindergarten . we're all adults here . news flash : google maps exists . " her arms were clapped loosely behind her back and the toe of her brown ugg dug into the ground as she rocked side to side . " but , well , uh , do you know of any cool places ? like not the professor mandated ones . " she thought it would be best to ask a local .

[ellinorefm]

ellinore could be a tour guide when she wanted to be but had had enough of showing people books - it was so dull to her and she made it obvious. the young woman had moved away from all of this only for it to follow her back with the arrival of her sister. why on earth did they have to end up at the same university when the world had so many? it was definitely fate laughing at her, maybe punishing her from her earlier mistakes. ella had stayed away from the rabbithole for a while, usually opting for the pub and then her suite as she was trying to be better, trying to get less upset as she never ever wanted to leave a party but now she found herself in the bar, knocking more than enough drinks back and it emphasised her lack of self-control. she always tried to act so put together - the fashion student looking like someone out of a magazine (or someone that should be working for one) - but underneath, ella was anything but...

"me?" she pointed to her chest as her brow raised quickly before she stepped closer towards the stage. "well, what do you have lined up already? what's the vibe? i don't want to massively mess up your flow because i decided to put an absolute banger on too early."

location: rabbithole, several hours later ....

open :3

staying put was more of a challenge than the langston transfer was willing to admit – in her defense, she was scheduled for a show that evening, which meant she’d harassed the rabbithole staff enough for them to agree to give her the post-lunch pre-dinner opening, no coincidence half the place’s customers were still broken off on campus tours. avarice was smiling, an expression that was decidedly unsettling to anyone familiar with the dj. her fingers moved like circuits, as one might type a strongly worded letter, forceful and erratic. she’d been told more than once she really knew how to push someone’s buttons. if only they knew, she’d hum to herself, how good i am with a launchpad. the crowd gathered before her only fed her undeniable god complex, and the tickle that set off in her chest ( where a heart might likely be, one day, excavated in all its fossilized glory ) was pleasant, indeed. it was, unfortunately, embarrassingly easy to stroke avarice’s ego. the ten or so college students, and the real fans she could count on ..  less than one hand, were jumping, off beat so that the small crowd seemed to pulse. this is why she always felt as though she were pulling on puppet strings as her fingers sprayed – more bullets, now, than triggers –  against her equipment. 

“requests? requests?” she finally looked up from her own hands, though she still felt them buzz just below her line of vision, almost glowing with heat. “you look like you’ve got a song on your mind,” finally, with a finger like a knife, she called from the small stage. “if it’s good, I’ll let you touch the buttons.” her eyebrows wriggled like dainty, carnivorous worms.

[ellinorefm]

ella chuckled once more, a big grin forming as she shuffled on her feet. "oh no-" shaking her head, she rested her arm on one of the bookcases. "don't do that." if she got into enough of a state, she could be very unpredictable and this conversation was only tempting fate. "we can all be unpredictable." instead of chuckling this time, she said it with a straight face and a slight eyebrow raise. there was a hint of uncertainty in her demeanour, what she considered the dark parts of herself wanting to be seen but she couldn't let it win. "so, it's still early. would you want to go to the pub? sneak into my halls like we're eighteen or something? this place is so strict, feel like we're in the dark ages at times." she crossed her arms. "it's up to you. your welcome to the palladian realm and all that." what on earth was she doing? ella wasn't even able to answer that. she was indeed acting but didn't know why - perhaps if she was more herself then more people would like her, that she'd actually have friends yet she would revert back to these tactics every single time.

the  bar  was  low  in  expectations.  it  took  a  lot  to  shock  bash  nowadays.  there  weren't  many  that  were  worth  being  invested  in  his  perspective.  no,  he'd  put  his  heart  on  the  line  one  too  many  times  to  really  be  interested  in  peeling  back  layers.  maybe  it  was  cynical,  but  that's  just  how  his  stubborn  brain  worked.  push  away  and  hurt  first  so  it  didn't  catch  him  off  guard  if  it  was  returned.  the  woman  in  front  of  him  possibly  being  someone  to  stand  out  seemed  to  be  far  fetched.  it  was  only  natural  to  judge  and  assess.  〝    i  suppose  you  consider  yourself  to  be  oh-so  unpredictable  then,  〞he'd  take  that  as  a  challenge,  ready  to  uncover  the  case  and  put  it  in  his  stockpile  of  i-told-you-so's.  still,  the  only  thing  to  pique  his  interest  more  than  a  book  was  a  good  time  out.  a  party  would  be  right  up  his  alley  of  a  much  needed  distraction  from…  all  of  this.  〝    i  drink.  consider  me  humbled,  i'm  now  ready  to  be  welcomed  by  palladian,    〞he  mused  out  with  a  smirk  playing  on  his  features.

[ellinorefm]

it hadn't been the first time that ella would catch sight of the other. she had seen her the day she arrived, or perhaps the day after and had quickly walked in the opposite direction. her father had done so much wrong and the other was yet another confirmation that he could take off whenever he wanted and 'leave her to it'. apparently it was good for her character but it further enforced her isolation that lead her down a very dangerous path. around eight years had passed now and she had been doing better with the support of her aunt, but the other's presence was affecting her more than she liked to admit to herself. of course, finding out at first had prompted a distressed phone call to her aunt and the woman trying to calm her all the same.

her mother hadn't been good enough for him, maybe that's what also tipped her over the edge, she didn't matter as he had another daughter that was around her age - how long had it been going on for, or was it just a one time thing? there could have been others; it made her sick to think about. feeling the other's eyes on her, ella shifted uncomfortably, pretending she had yet to see until the stare became so much that she had to look back. "you're watching me, you little creeper." she couldn't hold it back but the engagement put her heartbeat in her ears. "why did you come here?" she knew why, that was a silly question but she had spat it out in the moment.

᧔ 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑡 THE AMPHITHEATRE ♡ 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 @ellinorefm ᧓ ( MONDAY MARCH 3rd — 2 p.m )

— ᧔♡᧓ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: corvina x ellinor — ᧔♡᧓ 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔: n/a

𝐈𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 months since she answered a call from her father and today was not going to change any of that. Corvina stared down at the third call that morning, debating whether he was entirely cooked in the head or if he really just couldn’t take a hint. Though she had agreed to let him pay for her schooling, she never promised him a relationship. Never claimed or attempted to be a family when he had made it so clear all those years back that her life meant nothing to him. A text came through soon after her finger hit decline

Find Ellinore

Though she had scuffed at her phone, a sliver of curiosity invaded her thoughts. What was she like? Did she know about her? Had he told her she was here? Corvina didn’t want to get close enough to be harmed the same way again. Didn’t want to feel hope when the last time she tried to be a family she’d been treated so cold. 

Vina knew what Ellinore looked like. Though the two had never spoken, she’d been too curious not to have looked her up. She wanted to know if their features were anything alike. If they stood besides each other, would people notice the similarities in their blood? Would they? But looking up her socials put even more distance between them. Ellinore - Ella as she seemed to be called by many - had dark brown hair and eyes, where hers differed greatly. Their faces were similarly structured, she did noticed, like that of their father both their chin’s met at a structured point. 

Looking at her now, all Corvina could see were the ways in which they were entirely different people. From the clothing that they wore - Vina’s being all purchased at thrift stores and fast fashion boutiques, while Ellinore looked straight out of a catalog - to the confidence with which the other woman carried herself. So lost in her head that she hadn’t realized the two stares at one another, Vina broke contact and hurried to hide behind the first thing she could find. 

[ellinorefm]

random place outside @memoryservves

"tell me what i did to deserve this?" if she really wanted it answering, ellinore wouldn't have asked it. coming out from giving the 'book tour', she'd pulled out a cigarette and proceeded to light it. "there's only so many times that you can say 'and here's this section-'" her eyes widened as she feigned a smile just like she had been doing moments ago. "it's bad enough that we all now have to share but i did not sign up to be a part of the welcoming committee." she shook her head. having worry about ghosts from her 'past' looming around was definitely having an affect on her, deducing her to her 'mean girl' persona that didn't want to help anyone when she just wanted to be liked by people. "sorry." she sighed stepping away from the other. "i can put it out if you want. all this merging has me stressed. are they going to ask us all to stand in a circle and do some happy clappy games next? i thought i was at university, not... whatever this is." she put one arm across her jacket as she shuddered from the cold.

[ellinorefm]

"predictable?" ellinore's face twitched as her brow furrowed before she let out a soft hum. "i don't know who you're hanging about with babes but people are far from predictable. well, some of us, anyways." she wasn't really sure why she'd taken this approach with him, the other no doubt just wanting to get on with it after so much change but ella couldn't help herself. new people meant new perspectives and maybe they would see her differently to someone that had known her for over a year, that had been there long enough to see the cracks and red flags of her behaviour. "look, do you actually want to spend this time looking at what books are available or do you want a have some sort of welcome party? well, maybe not a party this early in as i don't want to get in trouble, but a little welcome drink wouldn't hurt, no? then you can go back to your books or something. oh, if you actually drink..." it was worth asking but she would always be part of the group that would peer pressure people into participating.

there  wasn't  a  single  fiber  in  his  being  that  was  daunted  by  being  one  of  the  'new  kids'.  the  city  had  it's  stigma,  he  was  fine  to  go  along  with  whatever  assumptions  made.  still,  he  didn't  consider  the  consequences  of  the  sore  thumb  of  a  conversation  starter.  what  happened  at  langston?  does  new  york  really  smell  like  piss?  are  you  jetlagged?  small  talk  wasn't  exactly  something  that  captivated  his  attention  for  long  and  he  certainly  wasn't  the  type  to  play  nice.  〝   i'd  argue  that  most  people  are  predictable.   〞he  stated  nonchalantly.  most  people  he  felt  he  read  just  as  easily  as  a  novel.  〝   bash,   〞he  stated  plainly,  crinkling  his  nose  slightly  as  ella  seemed  to  stay  in  her  place.  he  crossed  his  arms  over  his  chest  loosely  out  of  defense,  as  if  revealing  his  name  was  already  a  layer  too  much  that  was  peeled  back.  one  would  think  coming  from  the  city  that  meeting  new  people  would  come  with  a  breeze,  but  something  about  introductions  always  made  sebastian  a  bit  antsy.

[ellinorefm]

it hadn't taken ellinore long to resign from her tur guide duties. she would say she was fantastic at it but wanted to be doing anything else. the fashion design student was in her own world, mainly scrolling through social media when she should have been promoting the extensive library - it did make her day to point out oil & orgasms to get some confused expressions. after hearing the other's voice, she straightened her stance and looked towards the new arrival. "flesh blood, 'ello." raising her eyebrows towards him, ella let out a bit of a chuckle. "sorry, am i in your way?" why was she always in the way? an inconvenience? still, she wasn't about to address that with the stranger. "didn't have you down as one for the classics but i suppose people are just full of little surprises, aren't they?" nothing was stopping her from musing out lound in his presence. "i'm ellinore, ella. and you might be..." she motioned her hand towards the other to prompt him to answer.

WHERE: the book stew, deviated from group 5. WHEN: march 3rd. STATUS: open @langstonstarters. 

being  a  sheep  never  quite  resonated  with  bash.  as  soon  as  he  was  given  an  order,  might  as  well  kiss  that  wish  goodbye.  he'd  do  the  opposite.  it  didn't  take  long  for  boredom  to  strike  and  to  deviate  from said  schedule  and  the group  he  was  tasked  to  herd  with.  he'd  much  rather  adventure  on  to  a  guided  self-tour  than  listen  to  strangers'  opinions  on  their  biased  perspective  of  these  structured  buildings.  it  was  definitely…  different  from  the  hustle  and  bustle  of  nyc  that  bash  shockingly  grew  just  a  slight  liking  towards.  the  graduate  left  the  seemingly  never  ending  walls  that  were  scattered  with  paintings  and  found  himself  in  a  room  that  had  endless  amount  of  novels instead.  classics,  to  originals,  to  obscure  genres.  bash  liked  art  and  paintings  and  all,  but  this…  maybe  bath  had  something  to  offer.〝  can  you  move ?  〞sebastian  questioned  bluntly  as  he  gravitated  towards  the  classics.  courtesy  never  had  been  his  strength  either,  but  that  was  a  fact  he  was  rather  apathetic  about  changing.

[ellinorefm]

──   (  synnøve karlsen. twenty4. cis woman. she/her.  ) thank god you’re here, man - have you seen ELLINORE 'ELLA' ANDERSEN anywhere? i totally lost them after their rendition of long snake moan by pj harvey last night. no? they’re like, aye - high and go to PALLADIAN - i think they’re a SOPHOMORE studying FASHION DESIGN? but who knows, these days. all i know is that they’re CREATIVE & ERRATIC and a CAPRICORN . last night they kept going on and on about how they won MOST LIKELY TO NOT WORK A DAY IN HER LIFE last year, which is cool and whatever, but i just wouldn’t expect it out of them, considering they’re so, like, COMPETITIVE & OSTENTATIOUS , you know? anyways - i’m going to check down by the lamb and flag, i think that’s where they like to hang. text me if you see them, okay? bye! / as penned by kate.  28.  gmt.

triggers: death, mental illness, abandonment tw

growing up, ellinore believed that she was an only child born to an american father and a british mother. she never saw much of her father due to his work commitments so raising her ultimately became her mother's job only. she would grow up splitting time in each country, making sure that she had that connection with her mother's parents, etc. the andersen's were extremely wealthy - her father had inherited millions from his late father and his high flying law career only added to the pot. ellinore's mother had not come from wealth and for some reason, she was ashamed of it. the woman would go on to say how wealth felt very isolating. by the time ellinore was twelve, they'd move permanently to the states for her father to start his own law firm, leaving england behind. the move would hit her mother the hardest.

unfortunately, her mother would pass away just a year later and it would leave ellinore confused, having more questions than answers. it had been clear that her mother wasn't happy - had she missed something? the loss of her mother was a great one - ella turned to partying and considering her father was never home, she had the perfect place to host. many people turned up but there was no one who could she could actually call a friend. it felt like no time at all until her father had replaced her mother with a younger model and this only lead to further resentment. he spent even less time in the house, said that she 'looked too much like her' - the to were married within six months and that raised alarm bells - how long had it actually been going on?

ellinore's own mental health started to rapidly decline and all of the people around her failed to notice. she had managed to make a friend at her new school, someone that stuck by her and defended her when necessary but it didn't feel enough. learning that she had a sister, that her father had cheated on her mother like that, that he had rejected the other - it was the ultimate betrayal. she wasn't good enough for him, that's what it felt like. after that revelation, it made her wonder whether her mother had known and that had caused her quick demise and if so, how much pain she was truly in whilst trying to look out for her daughter at the same time. it was the unknown that greatly upset her. ella didn't trust him, she couldn't. although he hadn't been around much, she did idolise him due to his work ethic but that quickly faded once she learned the truth about him.

she'd got drunk at her birthday party, slept her her friend's boyfriend and suffered what could only be described as a mental break. it had all got too much and she was in such a self-destructive mode that night. despite being hurt, her now ex best friend had been the one to call the emergency services that night. she'd lost everything, her mother, her best friend, her father as she was convinced that he hated her - he only came to the hospital once to visit her and then never again (he was too busy travelling around europe so it was clear where his priorities lie).

all of her higher education plans were cancelled for the meantime. she would go on to study fashion design but was finding recovery rather difficult. it was hard to be in that big house by herself. ellinore had rejected her sister as well but this was the time she was so close to reaching out, however, they didn't know each other, it wasn't like she could reach out for help. two years later, ellinore started to go to university but dropped out six months into her first term. there was a lot of pressure, she felt unsupported, she had become the 'mean girl' stereotype because she knew that people had a hard time liking her so why not just play into it? her sense of self and self-worth was greatly lacking and people saw her as trouble. of course, she was excellent at parties, a charmer just like her father, but it was all surface level and what people said to her face instead of behind her back was very different.

feeling like she was getting worse and worse, she finally reached out to her aunt, in bath, and went to stay with her (it was something she should have done a long time ago). the woman was warm, patient with the challenges that came with having her in the home and letting her adjust. at first, the constant attention did frustrate ella but looking back, it was because the other woman was concerned about her behaviour, about the lack of love her father had shown her, even in her darkest hour. it was her aunt that helped her get back on track, helped her apply to palladian, helped her with her portfolio.

just when ella finally felt settled into this new chapter in her life, another curveball was thrown - what did you mean, her sister now attended the same school as her? it felt like fate was laughing at her, trying to disrupt her life again. it is an unneeded stressor that she never thought she'd account for and she can feel herself starting to spiral again. she's older now so can deal with it a little better but corvina's presence does bring up a really dark period in her life and all the emotions associated with it.

little notes:

she hasn't disclosed her struggles with her mental health and wants to avoid it when possible. however, if she drinks and gets upset, it definitely shows and leaves people wondering what's going on with her.

gets carried away with a party - drinks too much but also never wants to leave until closing, even if she's in tears.

ellinore also has somewhat of a fake standard english accent - her mother's influence, a way to distance herself from her father, lack of sense of self, there's multiple reasons for the accent tweak but she'd been talking like she does for years now and it has stuck.

can really sing! she used to be part of choirs but got bullied for it so hard in her high school freshman year, she quit. calls singing 'lame' but then gets on karaoke and...

is trying to actively avoid bumping into her sister (that won't last long).

isn't sure what she wants to do with her life. she's really into fashion design and fashion (dare i say that she's a fashion queen with her unlimited daddy's money budget?) but isn't sure what she'll actually do with it. the goal would be to become a creative director for a major fashion brand but she doesn't feel that feasible. versace's going to start looking, right? maybe an influencer is more up her street...

is a loewe stan.

loves pj harvey.

a fan of dark nail polish.

sometimes talks in her sleep.