#me to all my girlies and myself
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#music#self love#persuasive#sza#doechii#spotify#favorite#me to all my girlies and myself#dance and be happy
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I just wanted to say I really admire how effortlessly masculine you are but how you also love so many traditionally "feminine" things. I am working on coming out as a trans man and dread people telling me I'm not allowed to knit and stuff anymore
One of the annoying aspects of transition is you become this walking litmus test for weird gender essentialism - even in progressive folks - and you're gonna learn just how much people deprive themselves of personal joy because of it.
I cannot tell you how many well-meaning people ended up shitting on my hobbies out of a desire to give me "man lessons" that I never asked for in the first place.
All I can say is, stick to your guns. Sure, knitting has also historically been a masculine activity, but to acknowledge such feels like giving credence to the argument that you have to drop "unmanly" interests. Knit because you like to knit, not because you are "allowed to" based on some gendered technicality.
Don't feel like you need to sacrifice parts of yourself in order to transition. If the best version of you is a man who knits, or a man who likes pink, or a man who enjoys wearing makeup, resist the urge to destroy these pieces of yourself.
Detractors will attempt to weaponize everything about you in an attempt to de-legitimize who you are. The most radical thing you can do is show them how your passions only make you stronger.
The dread is real, but it gets easier to assert yourself over time. You might even find yourself becoming an ambassador to other men wrt your hobbies. Good luck!
#trans stuff#my toxic male trait is that if you do this enough to me#I will very much double down on my 'girly' likes out of spite and to assert dominance#make fun of my laptop stickers at work?#watch me come back next week with them plastered all over the thing#and me arranging myself at the large conference table to make sure they're always in your line of vision#'men don't do [your hobby]' I hear a lot#I dunno sounds like a skills issue to me#anyway ty anon for the 'effortless' compliment ❤️
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pro hero!bakugou x reader | fluff, a little bit domestic, a little bit intimate, a little bit suggestive? (not really) | cw: cursing, a very modest bath scene
-bakugou only knows how to give, you wish he'd let you do the same for him-
Thinking about the newly domestic give and take between you and Katsuki. It doesn't come naturally to him. He's hell bent on doing everything himself, at first. That's the way he's always lived after all—hyper self-sufficient, independent to a fault, and so goddamn stubborn about it all.
It makes you feel almost useless, his insistence on doing everything, not only for himself but for you as well. Honestly, you should have expected it; he was like that well before moving in together. Taking all the responsibilities on himself, wrangling you out of the way when you so much as try to help, because he "feels like it", or he's "better at it", or "just move, f'r I make ya".
But you were a guest in his house, then—so you let him have his way, bullheaded as it was. Now that you share a house—a home—you want nothing more than to take care of it, of him.
Though moving mountains would be easier than convincing him to accept it.
You try brute force, first. And it goes as well as you might expect, like throwing pebbles at a brick wall. Putting yourself between him and the dishes is just as futile; he cooked dinner, you should be the one to do this. It's only fair. Still, he takes it upon himself to pick you up and physically remove you from 'his' spot by the sink, ugly yellow gloves dripping dishwater all the way to the counter.
The floor is completely soaked by the time he plops you down on the countertop, as are your jeans, your flailing arms and exasperated "Katsuki!" having done little to deter him. Your mouth opens in protest but his hands, firm at your sides and eyes, red, and stern and definite leave no room for discussion.
So you try to 'talk about it', second. When his mood has cooled and he's feeling a little sweet. He usually is, when hero work has worn him down, chipped away at his fire until there's nothing left but his worn down bones and the aching desire to be enveloped in you—his head on your chest, your fingers in his hair.
He's nothing but mush in your arms by the time you bring it up, nearly two hundred pounds of limp muscle, eyes half lidded, and slow, warm breath. You think he doesn't hear you at first, more likely he pretends not to; but then you hear a half-hearted, "hmph". And you sigh.
"I'm serious, Kats." you rake your fingers across his scalp absently and he groans in appreciation, furling into you more. "You can't do everything, just look at you."
He peers up at you with one eye, an almost glare, more playful than anything; too tired for anything more. He huffs gently, warm breath across your chest when you don't back down. "We'll talk about it later."
'Later'; meaning never. Still, you don't press him. Not when he's so tired, not when this small moment of peace is all he allows you to offer him.
Ever predictable; there isn't a later, and he finds a way to avoid the conversation, in one way or another. Over and over and over again. You're at the end of your rope just trying to get him to listen.
So you try a last ditch effort at patience, at compromise (usually a losing battle, with him); working him over, little by little.
And it works, mostly.
You find that, most times, you can slip past him while he's cooking to steal the dirty mixing bowls and discarded pans; wash them while he's preoccupied trying not to burn the chicken or fretting over cutting the vegetables 'just right'. That him doing the cooking is non-negotiable, but he'll let you help as long as you stop trying to kiss him while he's "tryin' to make y'r dinner over here, god damnit".
(Don't let him fool you, he likes it).
That it takes you far too long to realize how much he craves being asked for 'help', instead of your usual insistence on helping him. That when he feels appreciated and useful, he's almost eager to share the housework with you, looking almost boyish standing there, hands stuffed in his pockets, the tepid scowl twisting his pretty face betrayed by the blush creeping up the back of his neck when you hum a lilted, "Thank you, Katsuki".
Your strategy's not foolproof, of course; he's still quick to steal whatever you're working on once he's finished his, itching to make himself busy once more.
But it's progress.
Still, no matter how much you try, or how long you pester him, he puts his foot down at taking care of him while he's sick, while he's training or on patrol. Anything that could end with you hurt, or put you in harms way is a hard 'no'—always, always, always.
That's not to say he doesn't let you take care of him ever. Though it was more hassle than it should have been, getting him to just sit comfortable instead of disappearing into the bath for hours, or taking his frustrations out on his poor, battered training equipment.
These days, when he's had an especially tiring evening, he'll sink down into the sofa without you having to say a thing, let you press your fingers into his shoulders and down his spine until the knots unwind. That occasionally he'll let you take him by the hand even, coax him gently into warm water and vanilla scented bubble bath.
That he becomes particularly docile when you're massaging your flowery conditioner into his wily blonde hair. The scent of you—over his waist, around his shoulders, in his hair—it's almost intoxicating, and he wraps his arms around you, like he's desperate for more, burying his face in your chest; sighs like he's at ease for the first time in his life.
It isn't easy, teaching Katsuki to take—but when he lays down with you at night, his eyes are a little brighter, hands hold you a little tighter, a little longer than when all he knew was how to give, give, give. And when his lips find yours, and you can feel his smile against them, you figure all the trouble is worth it.
And when he rolls the both of you over til you're pinned beneath heavy thighs, impish grin on his lips and calloused fingers beneath your shirt, trouble and promise brewing behind his newly fired eyes, well that's just a bonus.
#bakugou#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#bakugou x you#bnha#mha#bnha x reader#mha x reader#bnha x you#mha x you#had to physically restrain myself from writing 'he could teach you a thing or two about taking' in the last line djshfd someone stop me#happy katsuki day to all my bkg girlies mwahmwah mwah 💗
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listen
cait’s nipples are not baby pink she’s 75 % asian they’re BROWN
if cait and vi had a kid (a daughter bc cait needs an heir duh) she would not look “exactly like vi!!” or “like powder reincarnated 🥺” NO. that baby would have epicanthic folds like be so fucking for real cait’s cunty asian genes are dominant and would prevail
#thanks for coming to my ted talk#low-key pisses me off when this is inaccurately portrayed#cait is asian and i’m tired of people ignoring it#idgaf if you think baby lavender or whatever will have pink hair that’s fine but like don’t erase the asian features pls#(also they wouldn’t name that baby lavender like its name would start with a c and last name kiramman)#another ted talk in the tags here#also this is pissing me off so much i am breaking character and posting about nip color on main#on a platform i basically no longer use#arcane has taken me places#i say all this as an asian girlie myself btw#caitlyn kiramman#caitvi#arcane#something else on cait might also not be baby pink#WHO SAID THAT
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it feels so…… weird… seeing a cishet dude be so chill with queer themes lmao your soda-in-drag moment, the stevepop of it all, even guys with queers in their friend circles can’t bring themselves to partake sometimes lmao 😭 but it’s cool !! refreshing even sjksksndks this is a /pos statement I promise
Thanks lol! I think it’s cos I’m fairly secure. Sorta. (I’m still prone to compensating for things and being a stupid teen boy, but like, I’m aware of it, at least when I stop to think. Yk I’ll still join in on dick measuring contests, but deep down I’ll know it’s dumb and performative.)
I guess I feel a kinship to queerness. I go to art school where I’m sometimes the only guy in a class of girls, and I’ve been the token straight guy in every friend group I’ve been in since freshman year of high school. Beyond that, growing up I was frequently mistook for a girl- I had long-ish hair (post bowl-cut era 😭) and I’m part Asian, I was pretty androgynous lol. People irl have thought I’m gay, or a trans man on testosterone (I mean fine, I guess I am pretty short and hang with a lot of trans guys.) Hell, I did drag on a dare once, back when I was even more secure. (And I was hot asf in drag lemme tell ya. It felt lousy and it’s definitely not my thing, but man if I had a clone who was a girl-) All this to say, I say I’m straight, but honestly I don’t really know. I like girls a lot, but I have seen a buddy of mine in drag, and lemme tell ya I felt something but I’m not gonna examine that rn lol. Straight just feels comfortable, safe, and it’s good for interacting with folks who ain’t so progressive, so it’s what I’m sticking with…but I’ll admit there’s a gray area.
I relate a lot to the guys in the Outsiders, and irl I like to present myself as a tough, cool, Very Masculine guy. Hell, sometimes I play dumb about stuff because it’s “feminine” and a guy like me shouldn’t know about it. I act a lot like how I write Steve Randle, he’s my guy I like to project on lol. Honestly, I’ve got a fair amount of internalized toxic masculinity. But I think because I know how silly it all is deep down, I can interact with queer themes in art without feeling like I’m not “man enough”. Idk, I suppose it’s an outlet in some ways. Who knows maybe in 2027 I’ll come out as bi or something, but don’t wait up.
idk, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I like exploring queer themes, not because they’re queer necessarily, but because they’re human and I relate to them. And that’s hard not to partake in, y’know?
#rambling#ask#personal stuff#idk if all that’s like…ok for me to say and all but like…it’s just how I see the world at this point yk?#idk if you’ve seen derry girls but the character james maguire is me fr lol#(well i think I’m tougher than him but yk. he’s a guy who’s only friends are girls/queer people)#I worry sometimes about representing things poorly…#but like ig it’s not about representation to me. It’s not about anything. It’s just…expression i reckon#lord I dunno if I’m explaining this very well#For the record I find it interesting that I’m so chill too. There’s definitely a part of my brain that’s confused about that#like- I can’t wear a pink shirt cos that’s girly but I CAN try on heels because I’m bored???#I won’t pierce my ears even tho I wanna cos that’s “feminine” but I’ll write a 40k word fanfic about stevepop?? where’s the consistency??#I have to be the strongest in the room or I get pissy…but I want a girl to hold me?? that doesn’t make sense!#why am I a walking contradiction??#For all I’ve tried to explain it here at the end of the day idk why I am the way I am#I just…am. I wish it made sense but it doesn’t and I guess I gotta live with that lol.#talking about myself#srry ik this is long#ig it’s something I’ve avoided thinking abt much but now that you bring it up I’m…thinking. A lot.#(that’s a /pos thing I like thinking) (usually)
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#can i yap for a moment#im extremely sleepy but im feeling very upset and mad and confused#also lowkey questioning whether me feeling all that is justified or if i am overreacting#anyway#made out w a boy tonight#and he wanted to go to his place#and i was like no i wanna stay and dance with my girlies#and he gets upset??#asking why i'd kiss him if i don't wanna hook up and i said i just wanna have fun?#made me feel so stupid#that anger in me led to a little fight with another boy (who was unfortunately very cute) and i just wanted to punch him#i just hate when boys think they're so superior#so i argued with this stupid but hot man#until an ex? friend shows up and he was pretty drunk just yapping about things#anyway he basically told me he'd like to rekindle our friendship#but not in a heyy haven't talked in so long let's meet up again#it was in a heyy let's hang out again got a new big car and moved out of my parent's house 😋#which gave me the ick bc that's why we aren't friends anymore and i told him no multiple times#and got sad bc he was one of my closest friends#anyway and then we left the party#this guy pulls me aside the parking lot#and i was so embarrassed bc there were so many people and they were all looking and i could already see people gossiping about it#and i just wanted to die#and then he just CONFESSES??#gives me flowers and all which is saur saur cute#but i legit have zero feelings for him </3#and have commitment issues and have never been in a relationship and don't wanna be in one#actually grosses me out thinking about relationships </3#the confession was so random and i kinda lost another friendship? even tho i wouldn't rlly consider him a friend we just share sum classes#but yeah boys are so stupid and confusing and i dunno how and why i get myself into these situations :') m sorry just needed to rant </3
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listening to love potions, doing makeup, gossiping and eating sweets with my girls at 4am on halloween
#canon bee event#i adored this halloween#and met the loml irl<3#so! yeah#no cuz i had a next to me and o was behind me when we were trick or treating and i was like omg hes so pretty#then they looked at me and were talking and i was like YES SIR YES MAAM WHATEVER U SAY#like all thoughts of o went RIGHT out the window#should i make a full 2024 bee love interests iceberg#this sounds really funny#i love losing all my dignity in front of my 2000+ girl mutuals#i might start a sort of open journal on my little blog js cuz i love talking about myself + i love talking with all of u#plus it sounds super fun and personal#thoughts ୨𖹭୧#girlblogging#it girl#wonyoungism#girlhood#pink pilates princess#girly tumblr#this is what makes us girls#girly stuff#girlcore#girlworld#halloween#halloween 2024#autumn 2024#autumn#girl talk#girl therapy#girl code
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OK so I'm severely suffering from owl Yuan Brain rot and im planing to let it all out tomorrow but like shen yuan as the Duolingo owl.
Imagon a disciple forgets to do their homework and owl Yuan menecingly looking through the window just staring. Like sqq scolding you or punishing you is scary but owl Yuan is straight up a terrifying menece. Everyone fears him and he's so proud of it.
Anways I'm back to looking at cute owl Videos for refrence
#svsss#owl yuan#maybe this is Duolingo's way of telling me ive been neglecting my studdies#this is my first time actualy writing an idea#usualy i just go straight up to drawing#no where near writing fics yet but im working on it#im also usualy more of a normal human sy x abomination binghe girly but this has been eating at me#i think it all started when i saw the cute cat owls#also there is lore#cuz i cant help myself from un nesecery world building#but i think im no where near actualy writing ut down#so it will remain a mystery sadly
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is it just me or are family vacays overwhelming af ♡😣💕
#cant wait for this to be over ૮꒰ つᯅ⊂ ꒱ა ՞ˎˊ˗#it's one thing to live in a house w them... n another thing to always have to be wherever they going :'(♡#m trying to stay positive ♡🫶🏼💗#but it all makin me cry :(♡#feel like m getting no me-time at all (⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄‸o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝)#s so hard to deal w my fam without having some me time to keep myself sane :'(♡#anyone wanna kidnap a girl in new york heheh? ♡🙈🎀#pls save me :(♡#liana's diary ♡#tw: negative ♡#coquette girl#just girly posts#just girly things#girlblogging#girl hood#girl blogger#girlhood#girly stuff#girly#girlblogger#girly girl#coquette dollete#pink coquette#coqeutte#coqette#coquette#dolletecore#dollete aesthetic#dollette#hyper feminine
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🎭 #torokatober2024 day 12/31: pierrot 🎻
Even the bed creaks stutter with Quatre’s hips, the pressure between his straddled legs bursting in waves. This is where he usually screams.
He doesn’t. The circus grounds are so quiet, and this is their last night together before Trowa goes on tour to the farthest cluster known to man.
Trowa brings him down to his feverish chest, turning them on their sides on his narrow bed, in his cramped tent.
Quatre strokes the glitters on his cheek from tonight’s makeup. He’ll miss him.
Trowa kisses him deeply, his tongue and his hips moving again.
Quatre sighs, his toes curling.
find the list of prompts here!
#torokatober2024#g wing#3x4#seaofolives original#gundam wing#i'd say this is rated t+#but yes it's me I'm the idiot who put 'pierrot' as a damn prompt and stumping myself#so that's how this became the steamy drabble bc I needed to shoehorn it in somehow but I think I like how this turned out!#I think I could be a bit more on the nose about the prompt especially bc there was a circus one earlier#but I think I did okay given the circumstances!#also trowa is a performer he fing needs makeup!!!!!#that face is gonna drown from all the lights without some severe contouring man!!#yearly give trowa an ass and some makeup challenge#(for quatre's first xmas present as his boyfriend he gets him some hyaluronic serum from innisfree and teaches him how to use it)#(quatre is beyond thrilled bc he gets to bond with his sisters a bit more now)#(yes trowa is an innisfree boi bc im an innisfree girly it's the only k-skincare brand that touches my skin 😌)#(yes it's expensive 🥲)#(actually tucks that headcanon in somewhere safe)
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i was never a boy band girlie (or boy crazy in general) but damn how i loved big time rush
#big time rush#btr#i say “loved” as if i don't listen to their songs all the time#in fact i am watching the show. again. i love the silly sound effects#wish i could've gone to one of their concerts last year#that one kendall clip lives in my mind rent free#(u know the one. man on his knees while lifting up his shirt and singing his lungs out to any kind of guy)#always a kendall girlie#also don't mind me using the term 'girlie' when idk what the hell i am. i'm too old to be questioning myself i'm just queer#kendall schmidt#carlos penavega#logan henderson#james maslow#yipyip
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Today was such a long and busy day but a really good one and im very thankful for that ᰔ
#went to daves hot chicken for the first time in a year#and it was so yummy#there was a cute guy there that was def into me#but then he stood up and he’s def shorter than me (rip)#I got to play a bit of wuwa!!#I’ve been looking for one specific sonance casket and I finally found it. my exploration for that location is now 100% yipeee#I had a really fun paint night w the girlies#and then went on an even funner target run w them#got me some dunkaroos and yummy smelling soap#when I came back home I had a decent amount of dishes to wash#but it’s ok I had a good time bc I got to listen to the recent music I added to my playlist#so I was just jamming as I washed#and now im heating up some leftovers and then I’ll treat myself to dunkaroos for dessert after#and then answer lotus’s ask bc I’ve been meaning to do that all day
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Honestly despite being f2p player I honestly just thinking fuck the 300 primos I'm not that desperate for it actually
#Tbh I do typically do everything to get those free primos#N naturally I got the 40% on the first area#N yeah maybe it my fault for leaving everything to last min so now I'm scrambling n so everything is pissing me off#N honestly if that how it feels to play a game? Idk I rather not play actually#I'm having like rlly bad server issues despite my internet being decent? The creature gameplay being Jacky so it also pissing me off#Tbh making me feel like I'm force to play lest I loose out on rewards? Yeah idk#It making me not want to play ig? Cuz with every other region till natlan I was like rlly good at doing the#Archon AND world quest that I typically never have quests in my logs that some ppl were like wtf @ me#N there was no rewards for doing that but alas they start rewarding u for natlan n Low n behold im uninterested#Ig it also the fact of how much I despise the mechanics in this region that making me not want to explore the region naturally#Tbh even w the natlan character story I only did mualani despite getting rewards for that too#Anyways I was just thinking staying up to do 3 world quest n explore to 80% without a compass?#Yeah no I'm not torturing myself like that especially when I don't have mavuika she least make everything less painful I rather loose what?#3 or 4? Extra pulls? Yeah fuck that actually#There apart of me where I wish I hadn't left it so last min but actually playing again in the region n getting pissed again cuz of that#But I know I would have felt piss even earlier n honestly yeah no rip to my wanting to complete everything to get the rewards self but I#Rather have some fun so rip to those rewards cuz I rather wait till I get mavuika the all terrain girly
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i want to see exactly how many people actually have thought i am for research because ive gotten this quite a few times from different people i just wanna see how far it goes
#please understand while im not doubting so much now im not going to base off everything by peoples perceptions of my online behavior but#i feel like it does give good insight#i just always have a little hesitation in me because i feel like no one can get a full scope or honest picture of myself to Know me enough#to say that i can trust their opinion of me without knowing me enough in that sense#gahh. cuz i always feel like im doing Just Fine Enough i feel normal enough but im not guhh.#GUHHGGGHGH#it literally wouldnt change anything for me. like im autistic . ok! shrugs my shoulders. i cope i cant to anything more to help myself#than that#do u guys get it. do i have to go eat bricks or do u guys get it. my internal struggle. im like sisyphus#i cant trust other peoples opinions of my and i cant trust my own perceptions#while of course self diagnosis is a wonderful thing i dont want to put a name on myself that serves me no purpose#autism is awesome but do i deserve that title when dont feel like i own it wether i am autistic or not#im just so conflicted.#do you get it. do you get me. am i being reasonable . am i just fighting a truth about myself or are my doubts realistic. but the Evidence.#im so tired#i do not wanna b one of those tiktok girlies saying theyr hyperfixated on cooking pasta#Now do you get me#all my long winded rabbit trail rambles out of me before i finally get to my one point condensed conclusion#and now i just cant delete the rest of my tags because of all my time spent on them#enjoy my indentity crisis lol#i Might delete some of these tags later
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update on fancomics!
Part (chapter) 5 of Romance in Rivendel (my celrond fancomic) is Sooo close to being finished y'all! Just a few more pages :) Also just finalized the scripts for Part (chapter) 6, and will be working on the thumbnails today for it :D Part 6 introduces Glorfindel btw ;)
Also for Of Blessed Thyme & Thistle (my farawyn + Eothiriel fancomic), I've finished all the thumbnails for Chapter 1! Will be 33 pages in total 😳
I'm hoping to really 'crunch' down and get a bunch of pages finished before the end of november (tis' tricky tho! I'm moving house in November so we'll see how functional i am this coming month LOL) for the Comic Crunch Challenge! 52 pages may be a bit ambitious, especially seeing as I Am in the middle of moving house, but even if I get just a couple pages done, I'll be happy :)
Anyway, I hope to create a bit of a buffer for both these comics, so that we can hopefully see some more consistent updates going forward :D
#lotr#lord of the rings#silmarillion#the silmarillion#silm fanart#lotr fanart#lotr fanfic#silm fic#lotr fic#tolkien fanart#I feel like updating y'all on this to hold myself accountable XD but of course... don't hold me to it TOO Strictly I'm a#chronic illness girlie and i know that between the heavy duty moving part will take place during the 'bad' part of my pmdd cycle...#i also am already exhausted from packing old house stuff up LOL#so we'll see how productive outside the move i can even realistically be lol XD#That said! Even just finished thumbs for all current (and part 6 of RiR) chapters!! helps a ton :)#so hopefully that'll help there be more updates more consistently anyway :)#also DON'T @ me if Glorfindel wouldn't have been in imladris the same time Celebrian and her mother was staying there!!!! I wanna live in#ignorance about this whole thing XD the story is so much more fun with my golden boy in it
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i giggle so hard whenever i see one of my posts on someone else's blog like omg..... i'm actually liked by people..... blushing rn
#just happened to me and every time i smile so hard#i am filled with an overwhelming gratitude today#ilysm guys </3#my babiiiiiiies#i cannot explain the comfort this little blog brings me#i've met some of my best friends here#and i'm so grateful ☹️☹️☹️💞💞💞#thank you so much truly😭🩷🫶🏻#not to be sappy. but#i have never felt as valued and grateful for everything and by everyone i have in my life before this silly little blog#i love u sm#thank you 🫶🏻#i think at my core i am a very selfish person. i often do things for myself and myself alone#even the nice things are for my own benefit a lot of the time#i want to help people but most of all i want to help myself and it makes me feel bad sometimes#because i know a lot of people in my life online and irl see me as this kind selfless person#but only i know it doesn't always come from a place of kindness for others#i think there's some underlying problem there i need to look into genuinely. but i am so grateful for u guys genuinely#i love you all w my whole heart 🫶🏻#ok ill shut up now#thoughts ୨𖹭୧#girlblogging#it girl#wonyoungism#girlhood#pink pilates princess#girly tumblr#this is what makes us girls#girly stuff#girlcore
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