skychasezone

[skychasezone]

They both collapsed onto the bed, sweat slicked bodies feeling even muggier in the Floridian heat.

 It was a normal night - a Friday night, actually, and the two decided to ease the stress of the week with a little fun.

 "You don't know how surreal this is Miya," the older of the two started. "I've spent so much time daydreaming of this - of holding you in my arms."

 Miya couldn't help the smile that found its way to her face. "I think you mean of being in my arms," she said, squeezing Asha in her hold.

 "Mm," Asha noted. "But you still have to agree that you turned out to be less 'in control' than I expected."

 Miya laughed at Asha's honesty. With a personality like hers, it would've made more sense if she were more "dominant." But truth be told, she enjoyed being pampered by Asha. There was something so lovely about putting one's trust into the person they loved - giving them entire control over oneself and knowing that they would never breach the love and trust between each other.

 "That's true. But in all honesty were you really surprised?" Miya asked. "I've always been gentle with you."

 Asha drummed her fingers along Miya's biceps. "I still think I was a little surprised. You were always especially kind and patient with me - I think it's why I was so helpless when it came to falling in love with you. But even then, as we got older and I started thinking of you more intimately, I always thought we'd explore things together and you'd be the first to dive into the deep end."

 Though Asha's words were genuine and simply reflective, they still pulled at Miya's heart. Their story was like that of a fairy tale; two lovers blessed by fate to meet each other as children and have their love blossom and grow as they grew through the years. But fear was an ugly thing. Miya felt she wasn't enough for Asha. The latter was on course for a full scholarship to a well known college, while the former had been rejected from the schools she applied to.

 So she distanced herself from her friend, her crush, even when Asha had reassured her that her worth was not determined by college. Still, she could not help but feel small. Asha shone so brightly. She deserved someone just as bright, not someone that didn't know what to do in life.

 And in that guilt, self hate, and withdrawal, she lost the person most important to her, when all that person wanted to do was support her. It stung. To all hells it stung, knowing that all this time they could have continued to grow and nurture one another, instead of playing catch up.

 But there was nothing she could do about it.

 She had to move forward. And she did. It was the reason Asha was in her arms now.

 Miya shook her thoughts away. Instead, she focused on the woman just a hand's length away from her. "I think...maybe if I acted on my feelings, and we were each other's firsts, I would have been like that. Not saying that it's bad that we weren't, but, you know what you want, what you like. I'm just happy to give you that," she smiled.

 Asha shook her head before resting it against Miya's chest; the steady heartbeat of her lover nearly lulling her to sleep. "You don't exist to serve me, Miya. I love you - never stopped loving you, and I still want to explore things with you."

 "I-I know, but I just mean that...you probably already have your preferences and--"

 "Please don't deny me the chance to learn of love with you Miya." It came out as a whisper, but the weight of it resounded like a freight train. "There are things we missed, things we learned without each other. But that doesn't mean we're done."

 The drumming against her biceps stopped, and Miya could only lie there in silence as she absorbed the wisdom of Asha's words.

 "You're right, I'm sorry. I just...have such a hard time coming to terms with the hurt I made you feel."

 Soft hands wrapped themselves around Miya's waist.

 "I can't deny it hurt to lose you, especially over something self inflicted, but I understand why you did what you did. All I can say is that I never gauged your worth based on your education. You were always so brave; so ready to step in and endanger yourself when someone was wronged. I admired you so much, Miya. I wanted to be as righteous as you were. And perhaps I didn't say it enough. If I had, maybe things would have turned out differently? Maybe you would have felt more assured, and you wouldn't have left without a trace."

 Asha paused, and Miya could feel the way she trembled slightly, tears threatening to fall.

 "But you are here now, and you know how much I love you. So please," Asha's voice dropped, "don't distance yourself when I need you the most."

 Tears stung at Miya's own eyes; the raw emotion in Asha's voice tearing into her soul. She pulled back from Asha to meet her gaze. "I'll be here for you, I promise. I know I'm stupid and misread things, but I'd never run away from you again Asha. Ever since I met you in kindergarten, I knew I'd never have eyes for anyone but you. You lit up my world - filled it with love when all I knew was neglect. You were my best friend, my crush, my dream, and all I wanted was the best for you... even if it wasn't with me."

 She paused, hands shaking - from nerves or guilt, she didn't know - as she brushed Asha's tears away with her thumbs. "But I know now that that isn't what you want. And all I can say is that I'm sorry. But I'll do anything for you, anything you want of me. I love you more than words can say."

 Asha smiled into the touch of her lover. "Thank you, Miya. We have so much to catch up on, so much to learn, but I know we can heal and come out with an even stronger love. You just have to communicate and believe in the love I have for you. You are the love of my life and you are always of equal standing with me."

 "I know...except sometimes I still have some doubt, I'm sorry," she said as she leaned down to kiss the top of Asha's head.

 "It's okay. I know that all those years of neglect and emotional abuse make you doubt yourself. If I could, I'd wind back the hands of time and tell whatever creator you believe in to not even think twice about giving you any hardships."

 Miya could only lie there and tighten her hold on Asha. Asha, who believed in her and wanted nothing but the best for her. Asha, who still held so much love for her. Asha, whose compassionate heart still wanted to build a future with her.

 How could she not feel like the most blessed person on the planet?

 And how could she not want to give Asha more than her best effort?

 "Thank you, Asha. I'd say I don't deserve you, but then we'd be here arguing for another ten minutes," she jested.

 Asha's lips curled into a smile as the tenderness between the two of them stopped her tears without her even realizing. "I'd argue longer than that to show you how much you mean to me. But I'm glad you aren't going to make me do that."

 "At least not today..." Miya joked once more.

 Asha lightly slapped at Miya's hip. "Just as playful as you used to be, hm?"

 "Only with you," Miya said. "Only when my heart is full."

 "I'm glad to be the one to fill it." Asha pulled back from her lover's hold and lied on her side. It seemed like it had been so long since they last had a talk like this, lying on their sides and having heart to heart conversations.

 Miya looked on at Asha, her sweat slicked skin glistening in the moonlight.

 "This feels like the sleepovers we used to have as kids," Miya smiled, hand reaching out for Asha's. She was glad to have a segue to another topic. "Minus the nudity of course."

 Asha hummed in agreement. "I was just thinking the same thing. I remember how you used to be afraid of the dark."

 Miya's eyes widened slightly, embarrassment forcing a goofy smile to tug at her lips. "Yeahh..."

 "Everyone is afraid of the dark, even adults to this day. There wasn't anything wrong with it; it was endearing. And it brought you closer to me," Asha said, recalling the times she'd wake up in the middle of the night to Miya holding onto her tightly.

 "Sorry, I hope I never bugged you. I didn't really have anybody to teach me not to fear the dark. Well," Miya paused. "Until you, of course. I remember you told me that if any ghosts came to get me, you'd fight them all back with your nerf gun and protect me."

 It was Asha's turn to laugh at her childish antics. "Did I really say that?"

 "Mhm."

 "Interesting. Well, I stand by it. And I'm glad you hold memories like that so close to you." Her hand gave Miya's a reassuring squeeze. "Do you want to hear one of my favorite memories as a kid?"

 "Of course," Miya smiled.

 "My favorite memory is by far PE."

 "Oh yeah, that was always fun."

 "It was, and I remember how you'd always race to grab the gym locker next to mine. Any confessions to make on that, Ms. Srey?"

 Miya couldn't help but laugh. She was caught red handed and could do nothing about it. "I already told you I had a crush on you since kindergarten..."

 "The feeling is mutual," Asha said as she leaned in for a kiss, smiling as Miya met her halfway. "And to give a confession of my own, I couldn't help but be a little curious."

 "What do you mean by that?"

 "Having you change into your PE clothes right next to me everyday, I couldn't help but admire you. Even then you were incredibly in shape. All that martial arts you did growing up made you the best in class."

 Another grin popped up on Miya's face. "Gotta admit I did flex just a little whenever I felt you looking at me."

 "Would you be happy to know that it worked?"

 "Yeah," Miya smiled.

 Asha returned a smile of her own. The conversation felt so fluid, so easy. She was always comfortable in Miya's presence, and it was cathartic knowing that even after all those years apart they were still able to fall into comfortable conversations like nothing had happened.

 "But what were you gonna say?" Miya prodded.

 "Oh. I was going to say that, again, after having you so close I couldn't help but let my mind wander."

 "To...?"

 "Don't laugh at me," Asha cheesed, "but I used to wonder what color your nipples were. Were they brown like mine? Or were they pink and translucent? And now, to think that I can play with them whenever I want..." she brought her free hand up to one of Miya's nipples and gave them a light squeeze.

 "Ah! Hey," Miya gasped, sucking air in through her teeth. "Stop, you're gonna tempt me for another round."

 Asha stuck her tongue out. "Maybe that's the plan. But no, I'm kidding. I just couldn't resist."

 "Ha. Would you have preferred pink nipples?"

 "Oh, no." Asha couldn't help but grimace. "No I don't think they'd fit you at all."

 "Thanks?" Miya laughed.

 "I just wasn't sure, you know? I know you look a lot like your mom, and she's pretty pale so...I'm pretty sure she had pink nipples. And I thought you might get them too. BUT I also thought maybe not, because you did get your dad's skin tone."

 "Mm, I get what you mean. And yeah, as payback for pinching me, she DOES have pink nipples."

 "Euggh," Asha cringed.

 The strong reaction got another chuckle out of Miya. Conversations seemed so easy with Asha. They could talk about anything and the hours would simply tick on by like seconds.

 "But yeah, PE was fun. I definitely tried showing off for you at every chance I got."

 "Except..." Asha drawled. "For your Achilles heel. Cardio."

 Miya jokingly retracted her hand from Asha's embrace and flipped herself over so her back was facing Asha. "Well, that was a fun chat! I think it's time to go to sleep, goodnight."

 Asha scooted after Miya, hands aiming at her sides and tickling the younger woman. "Noo," Asha giggled. "Face your fears Miya."

 Miya laughed along with Asha as her fingers ran across her sides and made her jump. "I didn't face them then, and I'm sure as hell not facing them now."

 "Stubborn as always," Asha smiled. She gave up on her tickling and pulled Miya flush against her, her hands wrapping themselves around her lover's waist. "But that's part of the reason why I love you. You were so enigmatic when it came to sports. You loved PE - would outshine everybody. But when it was time to run the monthly mile, you'd always walk the entire thing."

 Miya smiled, both at Asha holding her close, and the memory of how much she truly hated running the mile. "I just hate running..."

 "But you love soccer..."

 "Yeah but that's cause you're running for a purpose! You're trying to go after the ball or keep control of it. Running the mile is just running in circles for no reason..."

 Asha squinted her eyes in thought. She could see where Miya was coming from, admittedly, but she still loved giving her girlfriend some grief. "I guess I'll let that excuse slide. But you're still on thin ice Ms. Srey."

 "If being in your arms is 'on thin ice,' then I'm okay with it."

 Asha's smile seemed forever plastered on her face. The love of her life was right there with her, her warmth hotter than the humid Floridian night. They were still so in love - so happy to simply be in each other's presence. All those years she spent dreaming of Miya lying in her arms had finally reached an end. Or rather, had finally just begun.

 She could see them when they were first graders, so simply happy as they chased each other around the playground.

 She could see them when they were eighth graders, asking each other out as friends to the Sadie Hawkins dance.

 She could see them when they were juniors, planning their senior schedules around one another to take as many classes as they could together, and turning down every confession of love from others that came their way.

 She could see them now, huddled against one another after so much time spent apart, but the history and affection for one another easily bridging that gap.

 And so it was no surprise that she couldn't wait to see them in the future, still lying in each other's arms - still so eager to learn about each other.

[skychasezone]

"Oh...my love, what did they do to you?" Rough hands, so gentle in comparison to the bloodied, hardened gauntlet of their form, reached up to caress the steel helmet that permanently encompassed her lover's face. "Whatever it took to bring hope to a cause..." Pangs of pain shot through Leakana's heart repeatedly - pangs of fire, of lightning, that came from every direction to settle into her chest. It ached and stung in a way nothing had ever hurt before. Not even the cause of her own trauma compared to the helplessness and sorrow she felt in this moment. "Anel..." she repeated, as if speaking their name would somehow help cement the fact that the being - the primal - in front of her, was truly real. A steel hand ending in murderous claws came to press itself against the small hand on their cheek. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to hurt you, but I want you to know the truth." The hand atop her own felt so cold, so deathly cold. It wasn't natural. This wasn't natural. But the fear and pain in her heart did not manifest for her own safety; it manifested from the indescribable grief for her beloved. To be turned into a weapon - a god, against their will for a cause they didn't wish to partake in... Leakana simply couldn't comprehend it. She stood there, a mix of bewilderment and worry written across her face, unable to do anything but gaze into the faceless being that was Anel. "Anel..." she repeated, her hand dropping to her side. Wings of immense power stayed fanned behind her lover's back. Like an angel of death, with horns and claws and a weapon of destruction, Anel looked every bit a demonic savior. Perhaps that was the image they were made to be shaped in. But though they were made to be a god, a killer, Leakana knew they were anything but. A path was forged for them, paved in blood and suffering and prayer, but she knew they could pave their own path. "Anel," she said once more, barely a whisper. "My Anel..." She hadn't even noticed the tears that welled in her eyes until she felt them slip past her cheek. "How long have you suffered like this? Alone against the world, left with the burden of the people that trapped you?" Anel looked down at their warrior; so tall and proud normally, but so small and frail now. It hurt. Much more than they had anticipated. It was no easy decision to reveal their form to Leakana, but they deemed it the right one. She deserved to know the truth. "Some days it seems like just yesterday; others it feels like a millennia. I don't know how long it's been. I don't know if I want to remember." Leakana reached once more for the draconic helmet that was her lover's face. Her hands shook - in fear, in anger, she didn't know - but she steeled herself. The pain Anel faced was immeasurable, there was no denying that. But it could be mitigated, perhaps, through support. And no amount of blood, wings, or claws, would keep her from protecting her beloved. "You are so brave, Anel. So brave, and so kindhearted. You have experienced enough pain for an entire realm, but you are still so gentle and forgiving." She took a moment to pause, a nervous gulp she didn't know she needed to take breaking up her speech. "You have the power to fell soldiers, monsters, and city states alike, yet you kneel to me in forgiveness - forgiveness you need not seek." Though they had no eyes - no tear ducts to produce tears the way their lover did, Anel felt every word untwist at the dagger of anger and hurt lodged in their heart. "I don't know how much it means, but you are, and always will be my Anel. God or Au Ra, know that I will be here for you; that you have open arms aching to grasp you and heal you of your pain when you need it." Soft arms opened themselves up futilely, to drive home her point. But it was all that Anel needed. Dispelling their primal form, Anel launched themselves into Leakana's waiting embrace. "You don't know how much I needed to hear that," they choked out. Their ability to cry returned to them and they didn't even try to hold back the sobs that wracked their body. "I've been so alone, Kana," they continued. "So alone and so scared for so many years!" The shock of Anel's towering form suddenly dissipating was short lived; as soon as she felt small arms cling to her, Leakana clutched back. "It's okay, it’s okay Anel, I’m here,” she cooed, kissing the top of her dragoon’s head. “You’re not alone anymore.”

They knew they weren’t alone anymore. Though they were deathly afraid of how Leakana would react, they knew deep down that she would stand by them. And to have that reality prove itself true... it was simply too much for Anel to handle in the moment. 

“Thank you Kana. You don’t know how much that means to me...and I’m sorry for scaring you. I just felt that you deserved to know the truth. You bared your soul - all your hurt and trauma to me, and I wanted to do the same. I didn’t want any secrets between us.”

Leakana shook her head gently. “I’m not afraid of you, Anel. I was afraid for you - all the hurt you endured...I couldn’t even begin to comprehend the pain. If I could go back and take your place, I’d do it a thousand times to spare you from the horrors you faced.”

Anel could do nothing but continue to cling to her lover. The warmth and love that seeped from the warrior was all that Anel wanted when they were younger. They wanted to know what it was like to play with other kids, what it was like to have a family to run home to when they were afraid. As fate would have it, they were idolized - revered to the point of fanaticism, and fashioned into a weapon for others to use. There was no one to run to. They were the person - the god - to run to. 

But now, amidst a love so genuine, they could lower their guard; could allow themself the once unattainable luxury of being vulnerable. They were not defined by the power thrust into their hands. They were not a means to an end for those that sought vengeance.

They were Anel.

They would walk their own path, free of idolization - free of fear.

And they would walk it with the person that looked their past in the eyes, and still chose to stand by them.

[skychasezone]

It was a serene night. The stars lit up the aether filled sky, though their brilliance was dimmed; the glow and hum of the Garlean processing plant in the distance overpowering the natural light of Eorzea. Other than that, life went on. The trees swayed in the gentle breeze and the fauna of the land were fast asleep in their dens.

Amidst the purple and blue sky was a small orange glow - a flame crackling in the night, warming the adventurers that started it.

There were four of them, all huddled around the fire. Their combined presence along with the calming warmth of the campfire soothed the aches and pains of the day.

"Hey Leakana."

But no peace could last forever.

Tired eyes found their way to the woman who spoke her name. The pugilist of the group held her gaze, something along the lines of uncertainty and resignation burning behind her eyes.

"Hm?"

"I just wanted to know what that was about today. It's not like you to hesitate and it could be a problem if it keeps happening."

A chill ran up Leakana's spine. She was the tank of the group. Her job was simple: catch the attention of the enemies they encountered. She was sturdier than the others in the group, though less nimble. The pugilist, Miya, was able to zip between enemies and deliver devastating blows with ease. Anel was a dragoon - their lance able to pierce the toughest hides and metals as they danced through the sky and rained blows on their enemies. Asha, the scholar, was of utmost importance considering she healed them steadily over the course of the battle along with her fairy. Enemies naturally prioritized her, so it was Leakana's job to always make sure she was a bigger threat to them than Asha.

So while what Miya said made absolute sense, it still irked her to no end.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again," she said simply.

Miya's eyes squinted. "Wanna give us an explanation or?"

"It's personal. It won't happen again though, I promise."

"And how do we know that for sure?" Miya prodded.

Leakana's brows furrowed. It was obvious all eyes were on her now, and she didn't feel like exposing her past trauma in such a fashion. They were hired to protect Asha in case she ran into hostile mobs - all of them mercenaries with one job. They didn't know each other prior to joining, and though they were growing closer as time went on, she still thought it unnecessary to unveil her demons.

"I--"

"Look, I'm just thinking about the team," Miya interrupted. "We need you to get in everyone's faces so we can do our jobs. If you freeze up, everyone is in danger, including yourself."

A sigh escaped Leakana's lips. It didn't seem like their pugilist was letting up, even if she did have a point. "I know. Believe me when I say I always give my best effort, but I don't see this being a recurring thing, so I don't think you need to make a big deal of it."

Leakana could feel the watchful gazes of her teammates boring into her. Anel was quiet as always, and she suspected that Asha didn't want to add fuel to the fire.

"Alright," Miya sighed.

It seemed as if she finally relented.

Leakana sighed and found herself staring at the ground between her feet. It was stressful enough having to deal with the appearance of a sudden Garlean scout; she didn't need her friends drilling into her about it. Maybe one day she'd tell them about her fears and trauma - how Garleans attacked her village and nearly razed it to the ground, simply for sport. But today wasn't the day.

"It won't happen," Leakana repeated.

Miya stared at the distressed warrior; the need to fully get her point across burning in her mind. "I think we also shouldn't put unnecessary stress on Asha. She's got her own mission and it isn't healing us all the time."

Asha's eyes widened. While it was true that her mission was to uncover the secrets of ancient scholars, she wouldn't ever outright say that her teammates were stressing her out when they were injured. Or rather, if she did, she'd put it more politely.

Leakana's gaze made its way to Miya, a new frustration and anger burning behind them.

"You want to chastise me about causing unnecessary stress?" Leakana asked. "What about you? The fighter that goes in before I do - the fighter whose unnecessary scars and wounds are closed by the very healer you're trying to protect?"

It was Miya's turn to knit her brows together. "Hey look--"

"I don't want to hear it. You want to poke and prod at me about my trauma, but what of yours? You who craves the spotlight, who thinks the adoration of people is a fair substitute for the love you didn't receive? Do you think about the stress you cause for Asha? For us?"

The fire crackled and sputtered, the flames dancing wildly and illuminating Miya's already intimidating visage with flashing oranges and reds.

The jugulars along the sides of the pugilist's neck strained against her skin as she shouted. "And who the fuck do you think you are to psychoanalyze me?"

Leakana stood from her seat, the full height of the highlander woman reinforcing why she was chosen as the group's tank. "It doesn't feel good, does it?"

Miya stood there, lips moving as if to speak; but she could find no retort. Instead, she huffed off to her tent.

Worried eyes looked back and forth between the towering woman and the tent their hot headed fighter retreated to. "Um...I think it's best that we all get some rest for now," Asha said. "For the record, Leakana, I don't have any plans to remove you from the group. We all have our own issues and I want you to know that you have our support."

For the first time that evening, Leakana felt a small smile tug at her lips.

"Thank you, Asha. I will talk to you about it some day when I'm ready, but for now all I can say is that I'll be prepared for sure."

Asha gave a smile of her own. "Of course. You've been a great help and I don't want you putting extra pressure on yourself. I'll see if I can get to Miya." With that, the scholar excused herself and retired to the tent she shared with Miya.

A small hand intertwined with Leakana's, pulling her attention away from the tent that housed the source of her frustrations.

"Anel..."

"Are you alright?" the dragoon asked.

"I'm still upset, but I can already feel it easing away," Leakana stated as she gave the hand in hers a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lose it."

Anel shook their head solemnly. "You don't need to apologize. Perhaps I'm biased, but I agree with you. It seems as though we all have our own demons. I think Miya's heart is in a good place, but she did not handle the situation in an ideal way."

It was true - and Leakana agreed wholeheartedly. Had Miya come up to her in private and asked about it, she would have been more willing to talk and cooperate. It still would have been a difficult conversation, but at least there would have been some sense of privacy.

"Thank you Anel, that means a lot. But I don't want you to blindly take my side."

It was Anel's turn to smile. "You needn't worry about that. My entire life was spent being idolized; I'm wise enough to avoid the same blind devotion. But come, I think it's time we let the fire die out."

Leakana could only nod and follow her companion back to their tent.

---

When Asha walked through the opening to her tent, she saw Miya lying on her back, arms crossed behind her head, staring up at the ceiling.

"Is it true, Asha?"

"Hm?"

"What Leakana said - am I making things difficult for you?" she asked.

Deft hands closed the entrance to their tent, ensuring the night winds wouldn't nip at them as they slept. "Do you want the genuine answer, or the coddling answer?" She turned her attention back to Miya and caught the tail end of a smile.

"I want the real answer. And maybe a coddling answer after..."

Asha nodded as she sat down beside her anxious fighter. "Things have definitely been different since (NAME OF FAIRY) went dormant. It's a lot more work, but it's good training." She paused to lie down, her head coming to rest upon Miya's biceps as she draped an arm over her stomach. "I appreciate your concern, I do, but if I had a problem I wouldn't have any issue bringing it up myself."

Asha could hear the little hum of agreement Miya let out.

"Yeah, you're right. I didn't mean to speak for you. And I'm sorry for yelling too - I know you don't like the sound of raised voices."

Asha twitched her Viera ears playfully at Miya's apology. "All is forgiven." A smile fell over her features as she felt the anger seeping away from Miya. It was an interesting feeling - to say the least - to be able to calm someone so strong down by simply being in their presence.

"Needless to say, I owe Leakana an apology too. Don't know when it'd be best to do that, like, in case she needs to calm down or something."

"I think it's still best to do it as soon as possible," Asha started. "If you apologize and extend an offer to talk, she'll know you prize her friendship over your pride. Plus, she'll appreciate it and will let you know when she's ready to talk."

Miya brought a hand up to intertwine with Asha's. "True. What's it like being a wise scholar? You seem to have the answer for everything."

"Not eeeeeverything," Asha smiled, squeezing Miya's hand gently before continuing. "For example, I don't have an answer as to why you're so cute."

"Wha--well," Miya fumbled, a blush beginning to creep up towards her cheeks.

Asha's ears, strong as they were, could hear the increase in Miya's heart rate.

"But you're still being chastised so I can't compliment you too much right now," Asha smiled.

Miya couldn't help but chuckle at Asha's "stern" discipline. "That's fair. Will you be nicer to me in the morning?"

"Maybe..."

"Then let's get to sleep so I can maybe hear those compliments you have for me." The fighter pulled her arm out gently, giving Asha time to lift her head, before turning on her side. "I need you to big spoon so I know you still love me."

A sweet giggle escaped Asha's lips as she pulled Miya into her.

"Of course. Goodnight, don't let the psychological horrors of childhood trauma bite."

"Asha..."

"Kidding, kidding. If you have a nightmare I'll wake you up, and you'll be right back in my arms again," she said as she kissed the back of her fighter's neck.

Miya hummed in response, melting into Asha's hold before closing her eyes and letting sleep overcome her.

---

"I'm fine Anel, I promise."

The other half of the group also chose to return to their tent for the night.

"You say that, but I know what trauma is like." Anel brushed their knuckles along the side of Leakana's cheek. The warrior lied with her head in Anel's lap, content to enjoy the contact of her lover.

"I don't want to dump my burdens onto you when you already deal with so much," Leakana reasoned.

"You deal with just as much, yet you always encourage me to speak about my thoughts and feelings. Why do you not extend the same care towards yourself?"

Leakana gazed up into Anel's eyes - deep, brown hues looking so gently at her. It was hard to maintain her resolve when such tenderness was thrown her way.

"It's...different when it's someone you care about. But I won't be stubborn about it anymore. It's just...not easy when something happens and you seize up like you're a kid again, especially when I'm supposed to be the protector."

Anel's eyes softened at their lover's confession. "Kana..."

"I know, I shouldn't be hard on myself," she paused, her hand coming up and placing itself over Anel's, "but I don't want to ever feel that helplessness again."

"But you are not helpless," Anel started. "You have grown so strong - have helped us so much. So what if you freeze up? We are all here to protect one another, and we'll protect you the way you do us."

A smile spread across Leakana's face. The sincerity and hope that filled her with every word that left Anel's lips was indescribable. She knew she had a long journey ahead when it came to overcoming her trauma, but with Anel - and her other friends - it felt like the journey would be shorter than she thought.

"So wise, so compassionate... what's your secret Anel? It seems like every word you say just melts away my fears."

It was Anel's turn to smile. "I'm very observant. But if you'd prefer a cuter answer; your happiness is infectious - your smile a beacon of light in this world I thought so unjust and fanatical."

All Leakana could do was stare into Anel's eyes. Their gaze was so soft and full of love...so genuine and soul baring.

"Perhaps your weakness is not your past, but rather..." Anel paused to lean down, their lips pressing gently against Leakana's, "me?"

The warrior could do nothing but melt against the chaste affection. Her hand came up to cup her lover's cheek, their skin soft underneath her rough fingertips. "You have no idea Anel..." she trailed off.

"The feeling is mutual. Though it's more of a double edged blade."

"Yeah, you're right. For you I'd give the world - would fight against all odds to protect. You make me want to be a better person. But...if something were to happen to you, I don't know how I'd react."

"Mmm," Anel agreed. "I believe it's for the best. There must be a balance to everything, lest you spiral out of control and become a primal."

Leakana scoffed at the joke. "Don't worry, I never considered it."

"Would you become one if it meant saving me?"

"I--" the warrior stuttered.

"I know the answer to that." Anel brushed aside their lover's bangs before planting a quick kiss atop her forehead.

"Didn't people tell you to not ask questions you know the answers to?" Though it was said scoldingly, Leakana couldn't help but laugh.

Anel gave a chuckle of their own. "Sometimes it's nice to hear it spoken out loud. But though your love for me runs deeply, I would never want you to go to such lengths."

"It is easier said than done... But I suppose I have Tiamat to look towards as an example."

"And you would do well to not repeat her mistake," Anel smiled before pulling back and sitting up straight.

"Of course," Leakana assured. "But thank you, Anel. Today was more than a scare and the evening was just as stressful, but I know I can get through it all if you're here."

"Such pressure," the dragoon joked. "We can talk about it more tomorrow or when you're feeling better. Miya might want to chime in again too, so you might want to steel yourself for that. But for now, I think it’s best we get some rest.”

Leakana shifted, pulling herself up to a sitting position to let Anel move. She lied down on her side and patted the space before her – motioning for Anel to curl up beside her.

“Little spoon?” the warrior asked.

Anel shook their head, instead opting to lie facing Leakana. “You’ve had a rough day. Let me protect you.”

A serene smile graced Leakana’s features. As she pressed her face into Anel’s torso, she couldn’t help but inhale deeply before sighing – the scent of the forest and Anel’s almost undetectable jasmine perfumes comforting her.

“Thank you, my love,” she whispered.

Two strong arms enveloped the warrior as she closed her eyes. Life was full of twists and turns; ups and downs. The bonds forged between friends and lovers was no different. But should those friends and lovers weather the storm with her, they could enjoy the accompanying crescent after.

Outside the campfire dimmed to but a faint glow; the orange overpowered by the aether filled sky and ever present blue glow of the Garlean processing plant. The animals were still fast asleep in their dens, and as the group drifted off to sleep one by one, they all knew that tomorrow would be another day – another day to apologize, another day to make amends, and another day to strengthen the already deep bond between them.

[skychasezone]

She kicked her feet absentmindedly, the pool's water slowing her movement. It was a quiet night--the neon glow of the pool lights and the moonlight their only company.

She looked over to her companion beside her. Her pale, greenish blue skin was so much different than the brown skin she herself had; a silent reminder of the fate her friend had suffered. She was reanimated through science. She was dead.

But she was still so alive.

Her grief, her anxieties, her fears--they all manifested in behaviors that held her back. In spite of the hand she was dealt, however, she still managed to be such a wonderful person. The care she had for others far outmatched the care she had for herself.

So it was only natural for Bopha to gravitate towards this person--this person so stricken by grief, but still so tender and caring.

"Hey Tode?"

The girl with the greenish blue skin looked up from the moonlit water. "Yeah?"

Bopha met her gaze, her features calm, serene from the time spent with her friend. "What are your plans for the future? It doesn't have to be super specific. Just, I guess where do you see yourself in like five years?"

A brief look of panic washed over Tode's features. Her eyes darted here and there as she pondered the question.

"Umm, to be honest I haven't thought about it. I just, I don't even know if I'll be..."

Bopha clicked her tongue and scooted closer towards Tode, her head coming to rest atop her friend's shoulder. "Tode..."

"I know, it's just--"

"It's okay," Bopha smiled. "I can't even imagine what you're going through, but I want to let you know that I'm here. I don't want to see you go."

Tode couldn't help but feel a spark. Maybe not of love, but of happiness. Life had lost a lot of meaning; it seemed like everything had become a chore. It'd be so much easier to just...just disappear. But to know that she was wanted--was cared for, and so openly too, was something that kept the fight in her going.

"Bopha..."

"Sorry. You can stop me if I go too far, but I just want you to know that you're important to me. I've been around a lot of people. Not sure if you've ever been to the village I'm from, but I've seen personalities and problems of all types, and there's always a way out."

Tode felt a hand slip atop her thigh to intertwine with her own, warm fingers meeting her slightly cooler ones.

"You're so strong," Bopha started, squeezing Tode's hand gently. "Life might not seem like it has much to offer right now, but you'll find something worth living for some day. It might be Trofio, or it might be a hobby, or your own peace. Whatever it is, you're just as deserving of life as anyone else. You'll find a way. I know it."

Tears welled up behind Tode's eyes. She knew that she was worthy of life. The issue lied more in...an exhaustion that ran so deeply, she couldn't help but think about how difficult life was.

"I'm so tired, Bopha." Tode gripped tightly onto the hand in hers. "Everything is so hard, so dystopic. I feel like I can't even make enough to keep myself alive--much less afford to do hobbies."

Bopha felt the words in her soul. The world had fallen to ruins due to greed, and life was much harder than it needed to be. Basic needs were hard to meet, and medical insurance was practically only for the wealthy. There was hardly any room for recreation because society turned people into soulless husks meant to drive labor only.

"I know," Bopha whispered. "I feel the same way. But I still try to find reasons to keep going."

"What's important to you?" Tode asked, eyes downcast to the hands in her lap.

"I think community is important to me. Alone, I don't feel like much, but when I'm able to help others and they show how thankful they are...it means a lot. Which isn't to say every day is a good day, but," she trailed off. "You're also important to me, if it's worth anything. So please be kinder to yourself--your circumstances. I don't want to lose you."

A sad smile graced Tode’s lips. Bopha’s words were so kind and genuine...she couldn’t help but feel her heart warm up at such an honest proclamation. But she knew that dark times would come rolling over again eventually, and she would feel lost...and Bopha would have to keep fishing her out of the abyss.

“But,” Tode started, “aren’t you tired of it Bopha? Tired of this...this depressive cloud that I am. Aren’t you tired of sending me messages, only for them to go unreplied to?” Bopha pulled back, her hand slipping away from Tode’s. “Look at me Tode.”

Tode turned her body to face Bopha.

“I can’t deny that it’s a little disheartening to have my messages go unread or whatever, but that’s okay.” She raised her hand to Tode’s face, fingertips brushing against the other woman’s jawline. “Because I can’t expect you to be happy all the time. It would be unfair of me to. But I’m your friend and I want you to know that I’m here to support you through the good and bad times.”

The calm gaze meeting her own, the moonlight and neon lights mixing and highlighting the soft features of Bopha’s face...how could the mechanical ticking of her artificial heart not pick up? Life wouldn’t always be full of highs, but with Bopha around, maybe the lows wouldn’t be too bad--or too long. Tode brought her hand up to Bopha’s, cold meeting warm, and pressed both their hands into her cheek.

“You know we can’t have a normal life,” Tode trailed off. “You’re such a caring person Bopha, you don’t deserve being tied to someone like me--someone whose life could be shut off at any moment. You could have...you could have anyone, so why me?”

“Because,” she started, “we’re going to get you out of this situation. Nobody will ever hold a button to your heart and hang threats over your head again. This I promise you,” she said as she leaned in, her forehead resting against Tode’s. “I’m here for you, Tode, if you’ll let me in.”

Tears that welled up behind Tode’s eyes quickly fell at the rakshasa’s words.

She was a corpse.

She was dead.

But with Bopha promising to kiss her tears away and stand up to her fears and anxieties, she knew that she was anything but a soulless husk.

“I think I’d like that. And to answer your earlier question, I think, in five years, I’d see myself still standing beside you,” Tode smiled, before closing the distance between the two of them. 

[skychasezone]

“Keo?”

“Hmm?” The woman in question tilted her head in the direction of the voice that called her.

“What’s your opinion on this hot as balls weather?”

The woman that grabbed her attention was none other than Avidus--local succubus and swindler, collector of all things valuable.

“It’s nothing I’m not used to,” Keo started. “Cambodia gets pretty nasty like this. But I can’t deny that it’s fun to show as much skin as possible.”

Avidus grinned from her inner tube just a ways over. The two were enjoying a cool dip in some high end resort Avidus had managed to get them into, and they were taking full advantage of the luxury.

“That’s my girl,” Avidus smiled as she brought a Blue Hawaiian up to her lips.

Keo couldn’t help a grin of her own, coupled with a splash towards Avidus’s direction. She was also sunbathing atop the pool on her own flat pool float.

“Being your trophy wife is fun too, of course. I can feel the jealous stares.”

Avidus raised a brow, a smirk plastering itself across her face as she reveled in Keo’s words. “This arcane that good huh? Got you talkin’ like that,” she smiled, her free hand reaching for the string of Keo’s bikini and tugging lightly.

The corners of Keo’s lips turned upwards as a smirk of her own showed. “Don’t,” she warned. “If you pull that off I won’t hesitate to start an orgy.”

“Is that a threat, or a promise?” Avidus smiled.

Keo couldn’t help but giggle. “Insatiable...”

---

Five Blue Hawaiians and a mango passionfruit Palm Bay later, and Avidus’s inner tube floated suspiciously close to Keo.

“Heyyy Keo,” the succubus chimed. “Hey Keo, are you having fun? Also try this, it’s a Baja Blast with tequila in it...so basically a margarita.”

Keo was lying flat on her stomach, content to simply enjoy the warmth of the sun on her back. She wasn’t really one to drink since it didn’t affect her much, but who was she to turn down some affection from her favorite succubus? She propped herself up onto her elbows and reached over for the glass in Avidus’s hand.

“I’m having fun for sure, and this just made the deal even sweeter,” she winked. There was a little paper parasol in the margarita glass that she moved aside--a cute addition that probably hiked the price of the drink up by a considerable amount. It was a luxury hotel, after all, and Keo wouldn’t put it past them. Humans were so silly...so greedy.

“You’re not just saying that, right?” Avidus looked over with false puppy eyes--clearly already aware of the answer.

Keo smiled into the rim of the margarita glass, the taste of salt kissing the corners of her mouth as the lemon-lime flavor of the soda filtered its way through her taste buds. “And what would I gain from lying?” she asked. “That tastes great, by the way.”

Avidus kicked her legs slightly, spinning her inner tube around. “Wellllll, being spoiled rotten is a pretty perk.”

“I’m sure there are a hundred men in this hotel alone that would be willing to take me on as a sugar baby. Money isn’t what I want.” She leaned over to grab Avidus’s inner tube, lightly spinning her back around so they were face to face.

“What I want, above all else, is right here,” Keo said, leaning over and tracing over Avidus’s jawline with her fingertips.

“I didn’t take you for an exhibitionist,” Avidus smirked before dropping her voice to a whisper, “people are watching.”

It was Keo’s turn to smile--a smug look that matched her comfort and confidence. “Let them. And maybe untie my string while you’re at it.”

[skychasezone]

Avidus opened the door to Keo's apartment. She knew that she kept the door open during the day--at night too, honestly; Keo didn't have to worry about intruders cause they'd just get a beak through their eyes. It made things easy for Avidus though. She could stroll in whenever she'd like. Such was the current case. The apartment smelled like...brownies? Avidus sniffed the air again, the unmistakable smell of warmed chocolate filtering through the homey apartment, replacing Keo's typical body mists and perfumes. "Babe!!" Avidus called. She rounded the hallway corner to see some animal documentary paused on Keo's tv.  "Hey hot stuff," she started upon seeing Keo hunched over the kitchen counter. A smile immediately found its way to Keo's face. "To what do I owe this honor?" "I was just in the neighborhood, y'know, swindlin," Avidus grinned as she brandished some poor sap's Rolex. "That, and I heard that a little someone had some goods baking in the oven."

"I don't recall missing any periods." A toothy smile of Keo's own spread across her features as she moved towards her shorter girlfriend. Avidus, momentarily stunned, could only stand with slightly widened eyes. "I--"

Keo cupped Avidus's face gently, both her thumbs running over the soft peach fuzz of her lover's cheeks, as she leaned in for a quick kiss. "I'm just kidding. If ever a time came for something like that, I'm sure we'd have everything talked about and planned ahead of time, right?" Her hands lazily ran down Avidus's arms until two pairs of hands intertwined themselves together. "Right..." was all Avidus could mutter. It was strange to be the target of such a calm love. She had amassed riches over the ages and could spoil Keo until the Earth ceased to exist, and yet, that was not the focus of her lover. Her eyes were not set on the digits in Avidus's bank account or the jewelry gifted to her. Part of it made Avidus feel...like she didn't have enough to give. But the other part of her saw the soft gaze of her girlfriend and knew that all Keo ever wanted was the person she was, not her fortune. Keo tugged on Avidus's hands, gently leading her to the kitchen. The sink was filled with various bowls and mixing cups, and a carton of eggs still laid open on the counter. "It's not much, but I know you like chocolate and caramel, so I decided to bake some caramel filled brownies for you." The source of the smell lied in front of Avidus's eyes. A small sheet pan with brownies cut into squares lied amidst the mild chaos of Keo's kitchen. Caramel seemed to drip from the sides, filling the gaps that Keo had cut with liquid gold. A light dusting of powdered sugar topped the brownies off. It must have been applied recently if it hadn't absorbed into the batter yet.

"You made these for me?" It was such a small gesture, but...something about Keo made all the small things seem like grand gestures of their own.

"Who else for?"

Avidus paused to think. "Well," she started, "yourself, for one."

"And miss out on an excuse to call you over? I don't think so," Keo smiled. "Besides, the inspiration for it is...a bit embarrassing."

Avidus's brows raised, genuine curiosity written across her features. She couldn't recall any time Keo felt embarrassed.

"And why is that?" she asked, hand already reaching for a brownie.

"That," Keo paused emphatically as she took the piece Avidus was reaching for, "is a secret."

Avidus couldn't help but grin at her girlfriend's cheeky behavior. She's opened up a lot in the time they've gotten to know each other--her playful personality coming out and teasing Avidus lovingly. It was such a stark contrast from the wise, guardian-like attitude Keo had before. Avidus sensed that it was because Keo had let so much of the barriers surrounding her heart down. And she couldn't deny it was a privilege. To be Keo's first love...she knew she couldn't mess things up.

"Aww, how about a hint then?" Avidus batted her lashes and pulled up flush against Keo's side.

Keo tapped her chin in thought. "I suppose...but only because you came while the brownies were warm." The garuda tilted her head toward the TV, with its still paused documentary. "Well, I guess I'll just give it to you. But only because you're so cute."

A mischievous grin crept up Avidus's face.

"I was watching some documentary about rainforests and it talked about hornbills--birds--that loved eating figs. They'd fight over figs in a tree and all that. There were some serious fights. But as the fight died down, the narrator talked about the importance of securing a good food source, and it's not always because of a bird's own self interest."

Avidus listened intently, acutely aware of the fact that her bird demon girlfriend had an obvious soft spot for birds. "David Attenborough has a wonderful narrating voice, and I'm sure it really tied the scene together, because as the camera focused on a hornbill picking a fig between its beak, Attenborough's ever calming voice said that...giving gifts is a way to deepen a bond. And once a bond is established, the pair stay together for life."

Keo turned to face Avidus; her free hand reaching for the shorter woman's. "I have no grand gifts to give--no such fig to win your heart over. All I have are pleasures of the flesh and small gestures. But I feel a vulnerability in both of us, and instead of distancing myself from it, I want to embrace it, if you'd give me the chance," she whispered. Avidus felt soft lips brush against her knuckles--a small ring of powdered sugar sticking to the space that Keo had just kissed. The whispered words and raw emotion that left Keo seemed to knock the air from the succubus's lungs. She was so strong--a demon that could tear anybody asunder, a demon that could sink deadly talons into jugulars and rib cages as if they were paper. Yet there she was, wearing her heart on her sleeve and asking for forgiveness when there was nothing to forgive.

"Don't..." Avidus started. "Don't think that way baby. I spoil you because I feel like I can't give enough--you don't owe me anything. You don't--"

"But I do," Keo interjected, a serene smile gracing her lips. "You've taught me how to love, to let loose the bindings of apathy. I used to think immortality a curse--something humans yearn for foolishly. But if immortality means a thousand lifetimes by your side, then perhaps I need to recount my blessings."

Avidus wasn't the type to tear up, but a sting still caught in her eye. Every word that slipped from Keo's lips felt like a promise from the gods--like kisses that would ease away any insecurity that would ever pop up in Avidus's life. Every word added to the thunderous beat of Avidus's heart until all she could hear was her body's devotion to her lover. Her own hands reached to grasp Keo's face like the most delicate rose. Tip toes brought her closer to her lover until their lips met--the chocolate and caramel from the brownie still not enough to drown out the taste of Keo's tropical kisses.

"You mean more to me than you'll ever know, Keo." Avidus rested her forehead against Keo's; their noses just a centimeter apart.

"Then show me," Keo smiled.

[skychasezone]

Miya waited eagerly, parked in the family's new soccer mom van. It was something Yasmine had teased her about previously--having exchanged her Ninja for something so out of character for her--but they all knew it was nothing but jest. A 2019 Toyota Sienna Le was hardly something she would have considered in her grittier youth, but after having the greatest joy in her life bless her, she wouldn't dare put her life at risk. She wanted to be there for Sokha--and Asha--every step of the way.

And Miya was no goddess--no immortal who could do no wrong. She had more than her fair share of mistakes and regrets, but in spite of everything that happened, the love around her was strong enough to pick her up and lead her back towards the right path. Markus and Kerven were large parts of what held her together in her teens. However the greatest influence on her, unsurprisingly, was her beloved. Asha had been nothing but patient and understanding. It was clear that the two of them wanted to grow, both individually and together; and they did just that. Fast forward to the moment, and they have a loving family, with a first grader that needed to be picked up from class.

It was a typically hot day in Miami--the warm stickiness from the humidity was always something that people were aware of, but those accustomed to it never let it break into a sweat. Even so, Miya kept the AC running as she waited, lightly tapping her fingers along to the songs on the Spotify playlist Asha made for her. She didn't know what kind of day Sokha had, and at the very least she wanted to give them a comfortable space.

A small smile found its way to Miya's face as she reminisced on the days where Asha would do the same for her. On days where they'd both go to the gym, Asha had always insisted on driving so they could both have a nice ride back home, singing along horribly to whichever oldie Asha had playing. And of course, Asha always made sure the AC was on. There was nothing better than being greeted by cold air after a long workout. It was one of the small signs of affection that Asha showed; little details that others would overlook or not even bother with.

So whether or not Sokha knew, it was something Miya had learned and wished to share too.

A sudden ringing pulled Miya's attention from her daydream. She looked out through the windshield and saw children running excitedly to their parents. There was a waiting area out in the front of the school where parents could wait around for their kids, but it was reserved for kindergartners only. Probably to ease their anxieties about having to walk around and find their parents' cars. It was unfortunate that she couldn't wait out front for Sokha, but she understood that too many parents waiting around was a potential fire hazard. Plus, Sokha drew a good amount of enjoyment from searching for where she parked. It was almost like an extra treasure hunt or something, except instead of finding treasure at X marks the spot, it was mom's van.

A distinct pink shirt caught Miya's attention as it walked around the crowd. Sokha's new favorite color was pink, even though it had been red just a few weeks ago. Miya couldn't help but feel a little bit of pride at her child sharing the same taste as her. But of course, children were always absorbing new things and finding different things to enjoy. She remembered when her favorite color shifted a lot as a kid, too. For a good while it depended on which power ranger was the coolest in the season, before she ended up favoring red permanently. She wanted to say the same applied to Sokha, but she knew that they had developed the preference for pink because Asha's carnations had bloomed, and they were amazed at how pretty the flowers were. And...naturally, children wanted anything and everything in their favorite color. So when Sokha asked to go shopping to pick out a few new clothes in pink, how could she and Asha not cave in? They knew they were a little more giving when it came to Sokha's wishes, but Sokha was a miracle that both of them had never dreamed could happen to them. So they spoiled them a bit. Maybe a little more than a bit, but they always taught Sokha to be humble and thankful, so it was alright. Right?

A knock on the passenger's window grabbed Miya's attention and she turned her head to find Sokha peeking through. They were still a little too short to see completely past the door, but they jumped up and down to make sure they could see Mom.

Rolling down the window, Miya called out to them.

"Hey baby, how was your day? And you know you still can't sit in the front," she said with a smile. The back door slowly slid open and she turned around to watch Sokha hop in. Their little sneakers were covered in grass stains since the current PE unit was soccer, and maybe in a different life, she would have minded the stains tracking all over the car. But she loved Sokha much, much more than some car.

"Mom when can I sit in the front?"

Miya paused. She admittedly couldn’t remember when kids were allowed to sit up front. Something about a certain weight? Or was it height? Either way, it wasn’t any time soon. "When you're ten, I think? It's safer in the back for you," she finally got out.

"So it's not safe for you in the back?" they asked, looking up with curious eyes.

"It is! I can't stay back there and drive, though," Miya laughed.

"Mom when can I drive?"

Miya tapped her chin in thought. "Maybe when you're sixteen? It depends."

"So that means you're sixteen?" Sokha asked.

Sokha was so innocent and cute, Miya could never get upset with their curious little questions. "I used to be sixteen, Khakou."

Sokha gasped in amazement at the remark, their mouth forming a little circle as they moved to buckle themselves up in their car seat.

"Cool..." they finally settled on.

And with that, they made their way home.

------

Having pulled into the driveway, both Miya and Sokha saw Asha's car already parked. After the initial wonder at their Mom being older than sixteen, Sokha dozed off into a little nap, tired from their adventures at school.

But as soon as the engine shut off Sokha woke up. Seeing Asha’s car parked out front, the excitement of Mama being home early was enough to pull them from their post nap haze. They quickly unbuckled their seat belt and waited for Mom to open the door for them (child safety lock being on and all), before dashing for the front door and repeatedly ringing the doorbell, leaving behind their backpack next to their car seat.

A warm figure opened the door soon after, her aura radiating love and kindness, and even though Miya was still locking the car and putting up the sunshades, just the sight of her made her heart flutter.

"Mama!!!" Sokha shouted, before being scooped up into Asha's arms. A quick kiss was planted on their forehead as Asha hoisted them up onto her waist.

"How was my little baby's day?" she asked, voice calming Sokha's nerves immediately.

Sokha was all giggles and laughs. "It was gooood," they drawled out, the way kids do when they're trying to think while the words are already coming out.

"What was so good about it?" Asha asked sweetly, freeing an arm to blow a kiss towards her wife. She was always intent on making sure Sokha truly talked to them. As a therapist she saw the importance of communication and how early problems can carry over. So she wanted to ensure that their child felt nothing but comfortable when talking to them, and that Sokha didn't feel like a burden when sharing their feelings.

"Like, today we learned about dinosaurs, and the T-Rex was...the KING of dinosaurs," Sokha smiled.

Miya walked up to the pair, Sokha's backpack in hand, and gave each of them a kiss--Sokha on the cheek and Asha on the lips. "What makes the T-Rex the king?" she asked.

"Well," Sokha started, "it was big and strong, and it ate other dinosaurs with its big teeth." They pulled their lips back to show their own teeth, a few having fallen out, leaving gaps and giving Sokha that iconic little kid smile.

Asha stepped aside to let her wife in and closed the door behind her. "You have big teeth too, Sokha. Are you going to eat other dinosaurs and be a king?"

Miya made sure the door was locked before following Asha and Sokha to the family room. Sokha was still clinging to Asha, even though they were six now. Not that it mattered. They both knew of parents that refused to hold their children because they'd reached a certain age. The worst part was that it was out of shame. To feel ashamed to hold your own kid, because they were "supposed to grow up." How ridiculous. The way the two of them saw it, they'd hold Sokha as long as they had the strength to, no matter Sokha's age. Weening children from something like physical touch and affection all because of societal shame seemed so wrong.

Sokha thought Asha's question over, not entirely sure what they really wanted. "No..." they finally got out. "I don't want to be mean."

"Even if it means being king?" Miya asked.

"Yeahhhh," Sokha said, resting their head against Asha's collar.

Asha smiled at their child's sincerity. She knew Sokha was humble in nature, but it was good to see that she and Miya's careful parenting seemed to affect Sokha positively. They didn't want to raise their child to strive to rise above others. A lot of parents only wanted the best for their children, but they raised them with the wrong ideals--to want to rise to the top and be respected through power or riches, instead of for their character.

"Well that's good," Asha chimed in, bringing a hand to lightly pinch at Sokha's cheek. They still had their baby fat and it was simply irresistible to not poke and prod at their cute little cheeks. "What good is a king if he's mean?"

"Yeah!!" Sokha yelled suddenly.

It made Miya laugh lightly to herself as she set Sokha's backpack down. The warmth and love that radiated off of Sokha was so much different than what she felt during her childhood. It was nice. More than that, it was...incredible. Her own childhood was so opposite of Sokha's, and when she and Asha first talked about starting a family, she knew she'd do everything in her power to give their child the childhood they deserved. Nothing but unconditional love and understanding...it was all she ever wanted, and now she had it, and gave it. To see such a healthy family, and to know that it was because of her and Asha's efforts was simply indescribable.

A sudden soft feeling against Miya's hand startled her and brought her out of her little daydream. She looked down to see Paka, the family's cat dog, walk by and move to meet Sokha; her tail swishing slightly in excitement. Paka wasn't really a cat dog, but she might as well have been. Savannah cats were large and had the tendency to follow their owners around the house, instead of the usual aloofness that was attributed to cats. Despite Paka's dog-like personality, she was still nervous around strangers, and would walk away to her own little corner if someone new was around.

"Paka!" Sokha shouted, squirming a little to let Asha know they wanted to be put down. Asha bent down and let Sokha run over to their expensive, unusual pet. Paka rubbed her head against Sokha's legs affectionately, and Sokha busied themselves with petting her in return.

"How was work?" Miya asked, taking her place by Asha's side.

Asha smiled and leaned in for a gentle kiss, her hand resting on her wife's hip. "It was alright, not much new. One of my patients recently reconciled with their sibling and their mood improved drastically. So we had a nice session."

Even though they were almost a decade into their relationship together, every bit of affection and contact from Asha made her heart skip a beat. "Was that the one that was too stubborn to initially talk to them when you suggested it?"

"Yeah, but I don't hold anything against my patients. I understand how it's a situation I've never encountered, so I can't force them to do something they don't want to. I only give suggestions. They tend to open up after awhile and it's a very rewarding experience." Asha smiled, reaching for Miya's hand and bringing her knuckles to her lips. "Like a certain someone I know."

Miya couldn't help but grin at Asha's words. "It takes a certain kind of person to be able to listen so everyone else's problems. Just listening is such a hard thing for people to do, and you do it AND give advice to help them through it."

"I have my talents," Asha laughed. "But how was your day? Any trouble getting Sokha up in the morning?"

"Nah, they didn't give me any trouble. They sure were sleepy; we told them yesterday that staying up late to watch another episode of whatever it was they were watching would be bad. I still don't think they believe us though," she smiled. Miya was mostly a stay at home mom. She worked part time to supplement Asha's majority income; Muay Thai teacher from 6PM to 10PM, stay at home Mom the rest of the day. They didn’t really need the extra money, but Muay Thai was still a passion of hers. So if she couldn’t perform at a professional level herself, then why not share her skills with others? But even then, it wasn’t enough to make her truly consider a full time career as a coach. Their main priority was to ensure that one of them would always be with Sokha, so they wouldn't grow up lonely. And with Asha bringing in the big bucks, they could easily fit that schedule.

"Well maybe one day they'll learn. Or maybe one day we'll be stricter on them." Asha's thumb brushed across the back of Miya's hand one last time before she let go. "Sokha said they wanted to make their lunch tomorrow with us. Want to join?"

Miya looked over to the family room, where Sokha was still petting Paka; only now, Potato rolled over to join them.

"Sure. Did they ask for anything in particular?"

"No, not really," Asha paused. "Other than a bag of chips, they said they just wanted to watch us make their lunch."

Miya raised a brow. "They just wanna watch us?"

"Mhm. You've been out late recently with all the students asking you for advice after class, and Sokha misses watching you make lunch for them, cause you do it in the morning while they're getting ready."  A small smile reached Asha's lips at just how much affection Sokha needed, and how they were so comfortable in talking about what was bugging them. "Our baby misses you, Miya, even when you're here most of the day."

A slight tremble found its way to Miya's lips at the thought of her slight absence affecting Sokha so much. "Well, what if we make an early dinner today with them too? I didn't mean to neglect them..."

"I know you didn't. You didn't know it was affecting them. I'm sure they'll appreciate being able to help out in the kitchen too."

The two of them looked over to Sokha again, their little kid playing so happily with Potato and Paka. Sokha was so full of love. And they'd do everything to cultivate that and let them grow to be a kind person.

"What do you see, Asha," her voice dropped to a whisper, "when you look at Sokha. What does it make you think?"

Asha's eyes followed Sokha, their little hands switching between gently petting Paka and patting Potato's rump. "I see...a child filled with love, and everything along the way that led to this."

Miya turned her gaze to Asha.

"I see," Asha continued, "the first time I saw you at the gym, the first time I considered a romance with you. I see the first time we went on a date, the first time we moved in together. I see the day you suffered a broken leg and the aftermath of it. I see the pain and loneliness we both felt, but even then, I still see the day you proposed to me, along with the day we both said I do. And I see the day we both sat down and talked about the possibility of a family."

Asha paused. "When they smile, their eyes lift up the same way yours do. And when they laugh, their nostrils flare a little the way mine do. Their lips are so full and plump, like yours--"

"Yours are the same, you can't give me all the credit," Miya smiled.

"Patience Miya." Asha's own smile shone as she playfully slapped her wife's arm. "Their lips are full like yours, and their hair is thick like mine. They have my beauty mark, and a mix of both of our skins. When I see Sokha, I see everything we've been through, and the love we have; how it all turned into another soul, already so full of love and kindness. It's a miracle, and it's a privilege, to have had Sokha. And I wouldn't have liked to share the experience with anybody else," Asha stopped to turn to Miya, "than with you."

Sokha took that exact moment to turn around to look at the two of them.

"Mom why are you crying?" they asked worriedly.

Miya couldn't help but smile at both Sokha's sincerity and Asha's soul baring words. She didn't bother wiping away at the tears welling up in her eyes, because she found no shame in crying--especially not when they were tears of joy.

"Mama just said something really sweet to me, Sokha. And I love you so much, it...made me cry," Miya reasoned.

"But don't you only cry when you're sad?" Sokha asked.

"Not always. Sometimes when you feel so good, you don't know what else to do but cry. And that's okay." A little sniffle made Miya pause, but she continued, trying to find a way to explain it to Sokha. "Have you ever laughed so hard your eyes watered, Khakou?"

Asha smiled at the interaction. The two of them always tried their best to explain things in terms Sokha would understand, and she felt as though Miya would nail this explanation too.

"Yeah one time, when Paka was carrying Potato by right here," Sokha moved over to point at Potato's scruff, "Potato farted and it scared Paka and Paka, she jumped and ran away. But it was, was like Potato's fault and she still holded onto Potato."

Asha herself couldn't help but laugh at the retelling. Sokha had a bad habit of slipping people food out for Potato and it resulted in a more active...gastrointestinal tract. They both lectured Sokha on why they couldn't give Potato their food all the time, and it seemed to have gotten through after they explained that Sokha wouldn't eat Potato's kibble, so Potato shouldn't eat their food. Plus, Potato was on a strict diet since she couldn't move very much. They didn't want to give her even more health problems.

Miya let out a little huff of air at Sokha's memory. She was there when it happened. Watching Paka run around fearfully with Potato in her mouth, while Potato seemed to be having the time of her life, was very amusing.

"Well it's like that," Miya started. "I was just so happy, I couldn't help but cry."

Sokha stood up and walked over to the two of them, their little arms wrapping around one of each of their legs in an attempt to hug them both. "I wanna be so happy I cry too." They looked up at their parents with a smile.

Asha and Miya simultaneously cooed at their child's display of affection.

"Here, why don't we all do something together then?" Miya asked, picking Sokha up and letting them rest on her hip. "Mama told me you missed me. You don't have to be shy; you can tell me whenever anything is bugging you, Khakou."

"I know but...I keep forgetting and I'm too sleepy to wake up in the morning," they frowned.

"And that's why Mama had to come to the rescue," Asha chimed in with a smile. She patted Sokha's back. "But remember, you never have to hide anything from us, okay Khakou? If anything is bothering you, you can tell us. Promise?"

Sokha looked at Asha curiously, as if she'd somehow lie about something so important. "Can we make it a piiiiinky promise?" They held their pinky out and stuck their hand out towards Asha.

Asha quickly stuck her own pinky out and wrapped it around Sokha's. "It's a pinky promise," she smiled.

Miya followed the same gesture. "Now, what do you want to make for dinner, Sokha? We'll make your lunch afterwards when we're done eating."

Sokha's eyes lit up at the freedom to pick whatever they wanted for dinner. "I want...dinosaur meat."

Miya blinked in surprise. "Dinosaur meat?"

"Yeah!!! Like," Sokha paused and squirmed a bit before Miya let them down. When they were free they ran to get a piece of paper from their backpack, and returned with some crayons. They went over to the dining table and climbed atop a chair; their crayon quickly scribbling and sketching a little drawing of what seemed like a chunk of meat with a bone through it. "Like this!" Sokha finally finished.

Asha and Miya looked the drawing over, both unsure of what kind of meat would ever look like that. The closest thing Asha could envision was maybe fried chicken? Maybe a drumstick or two for Sokha while she and Miya had the wings or thighs. They never bothered buying chicken breast anymore.

"I don't think--" Miya started, only to be lovingly interrupted by Asha.

"I think we can make it no problem. Do you want to help, Sokha? You can pretend like you're a T. rex," Asha said.

"YEAHH!!" Sokha screamed, standing a little on the chair cause they were so excited.

Miya looked over at Asha with a little confusion. Her voice was just above a hush as she spoke to Asha. "Asha how are we gonna make it?"

Asha smiled as she watched Sokha run and grab Potato and tell her about how they were gonna have dinosaur meat for dinner. "We still have drumsticks right?"

"Yeah, we do. OHH I gotcha," Miya grinned. "Fried, right?"

"Mhm," Asha replied.

"Well let's get everything out then. Do you wanna prep and I batter and fry, or which would you prefer?" Miya had no preference for either, but she wanted to make sure Asha didn't work too hard considering she had already worked the entire day.

Asha tapped her finger against her chin. "Why don't you batter and fry? Sokha would probably want to help with that, and they're doing this cause they miss you, after all."

Miya smiled at that. "I'm getting showered with a lot of attention. You gotta step your game up if you wanna get that mom of the year mug," she laughed.

Asha feigned a gasp. "That's unfair; Sokha sees less of you since they're at school all day. That's why they miss you, Mom of the year runner up," Asha grinned.

It was Miya's turn to gasp as she imagined a cup with ‘world's #2 Mom’ or something along those lines on it. Their playful back and forth would have continued a little longer had it not been for Sokha running up with Potato.

"Mom!! Mama!! Can Potato watch us make the dinosaur meat? I told her she could...even though I didn't ask," they looked towards the ground dejectedly.

Asha raised a brow at the idea of putting a dog up on the counter while preparing food. It wasn't a thought she'd entertain, but she didn't have to hand the news to Sokha rudely. "Aw baby, we can't put Potato on the counter. She has a lot of germs rolling around on the ground all day and we don't want them getting in our food. I'm sure she'd be happy to play with Paka in the meantime," Asha smiled apologetically, rubbing Sokha's back.

"Okay!" Sokha smiled, their mood taking no hit at all. It seemed they were more guilty about committing to something before asking. They went to the living room couch and gently placed Potato on a pillow, leaving her be with a little kiss on her head. Her tail started wagging, and, unfortunately her wiggles made her lose her balance and slide off the pillow. But she didn't seem to mind; her tail still thumped against the couch all the same.

Sokha ran back up to their parents, their hands outstretched, gesturing for someone to pick them up. "I wanna sit on mom's shoulders."

Miya happily obliged, bending down to pick them up and hoisting Sokha up behind her neck. "Hold on tight, okay?" she asked, holding onto Sokha's knees just to add more security.

Asha looked at the two of them with a smile, before opening the fridge and looking around for the ingredients they'd need to make dinner.

Their home was so happy--so full of love and warmth and security. It was something that took time to cultivate; all of it starting with her and Miya's relationship, but it was something she'd relive over and over again if she could. All the hardships and good times led to smiles and unending affection. It was something that she knew didn't happen magically; love had to be nurtured and tended to, or else it would shrivel and wither away. It was a lesson Miya knew all too well, but, Miya was no longer a Srey. The Sarrs loved differently, and she'd ensure they all worked towards creating a home filled with unconditional love.

[skychasezone]

She lied atop her bed, the events of the day playing once again through her head. It was a normal one; she got up at 6AM and showered before heading to work, where things went by as usual. She worked on replacing the oxygen sensor, as she had the past couple days, only to get chewed out by a coworker for taking an assignment he had (even though he'd neglected it in favor of off time).

It wasn't until she got off and got a text from Yasmine that her daily routine was thrown off. It was her birthday. She knew that. The same way she knew Yasmine would call her over and surprise her with Markus and Kerven. It was a tradition they'd fallen into for the past...maybe three years? Ever since she'd moved out of her adoptive parents' place, there wasn't really an opportunity to celebrate her birthday, so they all decided to bring the party to her.

It was a sweet gesture--one she appreciated greatly, but there was still something missing. She knew what it was. Something so small, so seemingly simple, but so important.

Over time she had tried to push down the fact--said she didn't need it, that it wasn't important--but after all the years that have come and gone, it still kept her up at night, crept up on her like a slow poison, until she found her chest tightening.

She was twenty four now. Long gone were the days where she'd have parties thrown in extravagance, simply for her parents' ability to show off their wealth. She should have gotten the message: she didn't matter to them. Maybe once, she did. But now? Now they couldn't even be bothered to send a letter or give her a call. It was like she didn't even exist. How could the very people that brought her into this world pretend like they hadn't done just that? It was a question she found herself dwelling on far too much. She'd endured a lot; found out the hard way that her parents didn't care about her. But as much as she liked to pretend that it didn't matter...

It absolutely did.

There was a feeling of absolute loneliness that she couldn't describe. It had tears welling up in her eyes, which she always fought, but no matter how much she tried, they always fell. Her breath picked up as she tried to keep herself composed. She didn't need them. She had a new family--had a new friend. They loved her. She didn't need theirs.

But then there was that thought--the thought that always broke her down; took a fearsome, trained martial artist and tore her down, leaving behind a five year old with one question:

'Why didn't they want me?'

And suddenly she screamed. An agonizing wail of pain brought on by year upon year of neglect and hurt. She clutched her arms around herself as she turned onto her side and curled up into a ball. She was worthy of love. She didn't deserve any of it. She was just a kid. Why did they hate her so much? Why did they abandon her? Why didn't they love her? The thoughts filtered through her mind rapidly, relentlessly.

Why didn't they want her?

Why didn't they want her?

Tears streamed down her cheeks--her eyes shut so tightly the tears could only well up in her lashes before falling. Her shoulders shook as the sobs wracked her body. All she wanted was to be loved by her parents. It was as simple as that. There was no feeling in the world equatable to being unwanted by the very people that should give one unconditional love. They were horrible people. She knows that. But she didn't know just what she did as a kid--what absolute horror she could have committed, for them to toss her aside so carelessly.

She was all she had.

Alone, in a dark, empty apartment, she had no mother to hold her in her arms until she calmed down. She had no father to lay a gentle, understanding hand on her shoulder. All she had was the reminder that she was utterly alone, unloved, and undeserving of love.

And as her sobs tired her out and left her simply shaking, she drifted off to sleep--her tears drying up and leaving behind crusts of salt--unaware that she had once again completed a yearly birthday tradition.

Though, this one had gone on much longer.

[skychasezone]

An angry voice stirred her from her thoughts.

“Miya.”

It was said sternly--the owner’s voice holding no room for jests.

“Hmm?” she asked in return, tone playful, as she always was. Endless years of knowledge made her lighthearted and joyous at every waking moment.

“Why did you do it? Why did you pretend to be one of our gods?”

She couldn’t help the light laugh that came out at the accusation. It was true, but the fact that Asha had been so insightful was hilarious to her; able to guess the culprit on her first chance. “It wasn’t me,” Miya said. “Where’s your evidence?”

“Don’t play games with me Miya. I know it was you. This strange child of the earth that talks about technology we haven’t even dreamed of--able to shape shift into who knows what. Who else is it supposed to be?” Her eyes were ablaze with genuine anger, red hot. Asha’s body language was completely new to her. There was no warm and inviting aura to her.

“Okay well, you got me,” she smiled, “What’s my punishment?”

“This ISN’T a game, Miya. And the fact that you’re continuing to treat it like one is exactly why I’m upset. Our god is one that we hold near and dear to our hearts--a being that looks over us with protection and teaches us the kindness of caring for the earth. Why did you pretend to be it?” Her voice softened at the end, the anger dissipating for just a second to reveal the true hurt behind her anger.

A twinge of guilt hit Miya in the heart as the meaning of Asha’s words really sunk in. It was ironic that she had become so detached from religion and the possibility of higher beings, considering her own immortality was given to her by one, but it was a lesson with a harsh reminder. “I just...thought it would be nice to see proof of your god. To have everyone in the village see it and know that their efforts are being rewarded, and that they should continue doing what they do.” With every word that came out, Miya felt her resolve crumble; each word sounding less and less like a reason and more like an excuse.

“Well it means absolutely nothing if it’s from an impostor,” Asha spat.

“Hey I didn’t mean to--”

“Didn’t mean to what, Miya? Didn’t mean to lie to our entire village that’s housed you and welcomed you with open arms? Is this your way of repaying us? By false gods?”

Asha’s words were true, and even though she’d been insensitive towards their religion, Miya couldn’t help but feel hurt. She just wanted to make the village feel better--wanted to raise their spirits by giving them a blessing by their own god. “Hey look, I was just trying to help, okay? I just wanted to be nice and show everyone that their god IS looking out for them.”

Asha’s anger flared up again. “Except it isn’t! You can lie to them and make them believe in a false blessing, but you can’t fool me, Miya!” She took a step forward and shoved Miya at the shoulders, forcing her to take a step back. “You may be a child of the earth, with powers far beyond our understanding, but you’ll never understand why this means so much to us, and why you’ve crossed a line.”

Miya’s jaws clenched as her own anger bubbled up inside of her. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I just wanted to help.”

Asha shook her head solemnly. Her eyebrows knitted together as the fury settled down and turned into hurt. “I trusted you, Miya. We’ve shared things together that I wouldn’t share with anyone else. I still love you, but this insensitivity has just shaken me so much.”

Miya’s stubborn, knee jerk rage subsided immediately at the first signs of Asha’s pain. “Asha no, no I’m sorry,” she begged as she stepped forward to wrap her arms around the other woman.

But Asha just swatted her hands away.

“You claim to know everything. From strange metal objects that move of their own will, to fish evolving into humans. But when it comes to basic humanity, you seem to have forgotten.”

“Asha, I--”

“No, no more, Miya. Not right now. The village is singing praises; celebrating the arrival of our beloved, throwing feasts in its honor. But they’re wasting resources. All because of you. I want to talk to you Miya, but I can’t right now...not like this,” she said, her own arms coming to wrap around herself; the burden of knowing there was no real blessing hers alone.

Miya clenched her jaws shut. It was insensitive, yes, but she had good intentions. And to have them thrown back in her face, Asha making her out to seem like some villain hellbent on tearing her village apart, was too much for her to handle. “Fine. Yeah, whatever. Have it your way,” she said as she turned her back to Asha and walked away. She didn’t look back, but she knew that Asha was still standing there, arms clutched around herself for any semblance of comfort.

If she wasn’t welcome, then that was fine. She’d just go lie down and become part of the earth again.

She hadn’t walked far from the village, though she probably should have. She was upset, sure, but she didn’t plan on leaving for good. The two of them just needed to let things blow over--let the steam out so they could talk to one another again. But the shove and near genuine disdain kept replaying in Miya’s mind. Had Asha truly hated her that much? It wasn’t like she was trying to pose as their god to tell the village to do something to her bidding; she just flew around in the sky to inspire them.

She sighed as she reached a small grove. The shade of a large mango tree was too inviting amidst the hot Ugandan weather. So, Miya rested her back against its trunk and closed her eyes, willing herself to sleep. A nap would hopefully give them enough time to cool down and ease the tension somewhat.

Miya awoke to the sound of a thud. Her eyes opened slowly, painfully; crusted shut by excess moisture around her eyes. She looked to the source of the sound--a monkey that had dislodged a mango and thrown it to the ground. It looked at her in fear before grabbing its prize and scampering off into the treetops. She thanked it silently for waking her up from her stupor, before getting to her feet and dusting off the dirt that had accumulated on her clothing.

The fight with Asha was still on her mind, and while she was still a little hurt at having been turned away so harshly, she didn’t hold it against her. Her feet took her down the path to the village--one that was near second nature to her, after all the time she spent with Asha just traversing through the beauty of the jungle. The path seemed a little more beaten than before. Not that it was a bad thing; it absolutely made for a smoother walk.

She reached the village rather quickly--perhaps in just a half hour? She found herself passing through the center of town, cause it was the fastest route to get to Asha’s hut, and all the normal sounds of every day life filled her ears with joy. The market was as lively as ever. Which was surprising, considering Asha said that everyone was throwing a feast for the appearance of their god. But maybe it was a multiple day celebration and people were preparing for day two? Miya smiled to herself at the thought. To see everyone so happy made her feel a little less guilty.

Eventually, she reached Asha’s house. It seemed larger, for some reason, but maybe it’s because she was approaching it at a different angle? She’d normally take the back paths, but she was coming from the market this time, so it made sense for her perception to be skewed a little. Miya knocked on the wood of the “door frame.” In reality it was just an opening that was covered by a piece of cloth from the inside, but she still respected Asha’s privacy and didn’t want to force her to talk if she wasn’t ready.

But the face that greeted her wasn’t one that was familiar.

“Hello?”

The woman looked to be around her middle ages. Maybe mid 40′s? She didn’t exactly know who she was, but she shared a bunch of Asha’s features, so she assumed it was an aunt.

“Um, hi, is Asha here right now?”

“Asha?” she asked curiously, eyes scanning up and down Miya’s body to better judge her, before turning around behind her and calling out ‘mama.’

Miya blinked roughly. Did she just...?

But before she could ponder the thought, another figure stepped into the doorway and pulled the cloth aside.

Warm, brown eyes stared back at her as they widened. Braids that once framed her face were nowhere to be seen; a simple, pastel green headwrap took its place instead. Time had been kind to her, but time had still taken its toll. Wrinkles lined the edges of her eyes perpetually, where before they only showed whenever she’d laugh, or when her lips pulled up into a smile. But she was still lovely.

She didn’t know how long they stood there in silence. All she knew was that she had to break it.

“Asha,” she breathed out, heart feeling as though it were tearing itself apart and rebuilding itself five times every second.

“You’ve come back to me,” Asha said in return, lips trembling as they tilted into a smile. “My lover of the earth, so untouched by time...why do you return now?” She looked back and called to whoever else was in the home, telling them to not worry, as she stepped outside.

“Asha, I,” Miya stuttered, trying to find the words to say. How much time had passed? She’d just taken a small nap, that’s all. She wanted to let her anger settle so she could speak with Asha with a level head, not...not this.

“What is it, Miya?” she asked, voice so soothing and gentle, slightly raspy with age, but still the tone she’d come to know her for.

“I--I, I didn’t, it, it was a--a mistake, Asha,” her heart pounded in her ears, her thoughts zooming off in a thousand places, frantically trying to find something to say. “Asha,” she pleaded, tears forming in her eyes as the realization hit her. What seemed like a nap to her was, perhaps, fifty years. And in those fifty years she’d left Asha alone--taken her love away inadvertently and forced her into heartbreak and abandonment.

Warm hands reached for her face, soft thumbs wiping away at the tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. “I’m here, Miya,” she said.

Her shoulders shook as she fought to keep her sobs in. It was all so overwhelming. So much time had passed, so much had changed. Asha had a family of her own--picked herself up from the heartbreak of their relationship. “Asha, I didn’t mean it--I didn’t mean to be away that long, I--”

“Shh, shh Miya. I’ve done my grieving. I’m happy to see that you’re still alive and well. Here, come inside,” she said as she pushed the cloth of their home back, “I’ll have Nafula get some tea for you, and we can catch up on lost time.”

[skychasezone]

The sun was setting earlier than usual. The shades of orange slowly gave way to the pinks and lavenders of dusk as the sun slowly set behind the sea in front of you. It was fitting, you can't help but think--that this particular day, the sun would follow you in some falsely beautiful metaphorical sense. Not that it mattered; today is your last, and you won't remember a thing. But in spite of that, you turn to the memories of old--the memories that brought you here in the first place. From the time you could start retaining memories, you knew you were never wanted. Neglectful parents that would eventually come to disown you weighed down on your soul more than you'd like to admit, though it was transparent to everyone else. Especially her. Her with her inquisitive ways and the ability to see the hurt and pain in someone. You didn't know if it was something learned, or some innate ability she just seemed to possess, but she was always able to see the truths that people hid--the truths that you hid. And it helped you so much as the two of you ventured around as kids, so full of life and the will to explore. She made you feel wanted--made you feel accepted and worthwhile. You shared your childhood with her; shared your first and only love with her. So it baffles you when you think of how your pride got in the way. Financial troubles? Everyone deals with them. But you were too stubborn to admit defeat--too prideful to ask for help. And you paid for it dearly. You lost everything that mattered to you in search of vain glory and riches. It wasn't a fruitless effort though. You _did_ get what you wanted, be it at a price you couldn't (and still can't) pay. What your parents did to you, you did to her. The ignorance, the lack of reciprocation, the distancing. You became someone you didn't want to be, and the love the two of you shared withered and died. But her, with her heart of gold and kindness that none could compare to, forgave you. And you didn't deserve it--you still don't. But who were you to turn down a chance at redemption from the love of your life? So you reconciled. Fell for one another again. But you know there was something different--something that would never go away no matter what you did. There was a strange distance between the two of you. She was still as kind and sweet as ever. There was no malicious intent anywhere. But in place of the carefree love you had growing up, there was now a barrier, it seemed like. As if she could never give you all of her heart the way she once had. And you understood that; she was careless with her heart and gave it to someone who couldn't fully appreciate it. And though she claims that you're the only one for her, you know she won't ever truly love you the way she once had. But she also won't love another the way she once loved you. And it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair for her heart to know such pain--to be scarred so badly, forced only to keep beating on the off chance that you would return and undo the damage done to it. The two of you knew that would never happen. Things had changed. You forced both of you to grow up faster than you needed to--forced her to watch her best friend walk away from her and destroy everything the two of you had. Needless to say, the guilt ate away at you. So here you are. Against all odds, you're about to rewrite time, sitting atop the very island she will eventually become Kahuna of. You've left her once more; alone in the apartment the two of you have come to known as home. She should be getting home now at this hour, and it pains you to know that once again she'll have to feel the disappointment of you not being there. But you promise it is the last pain she'll ever feel. You would do anything to give her the life she deserves--one void of all the pain she's persevered through. You want to give her a life full of the happiness that was once so apparent in her life. Her smile, her laughter, her love; all once so abundant, are now rarities to be treasured. And you want to give them back to her, even if you won't be around to experience them. You know you don't have much time left. You've given yourself advice that you hope you'll follow, or else all of this would be for naught. But it's a risk you're willing to take. To prevent yourself from hurting her--to give her the love she gave to you, you would sacrifice yourself a thousand times over. It hurt though. God, did it hurt. You wanted nothing more than to hold her in your arms as you faded out of existence. But perhaps this was your repentance. For all you've done to her, you're feeling now, alone on this cliff, as she was alone when you left. But even in your hurt, you find solace in the future that is to be. The sun has set beyond the waves of the sea--its warm hues replaced by cool indigos and violets. You don't know if it's the cold of night, or the way you're slowly disappearing, but you can't muster up the courage to see why you feel so chilled to the bone. You close your eyes, finally, feeling the way every sense just seems to disappear. How long has the chill of the air stopped bothering you? How long has the smell of the sea salt gone away? How long have the waves stopped crashing against the shore? How long has it been since you stopped tasting the salt of your tears? But you don't dare open your eyes to check if they've failed you too. Instead you make a final oath. "I'll be with you soon, Asha," you say, as your consciousness fades away, filled with thoughts of the future _she_ deserves to have.

[skychasezone]

You’ve heard tales of this captain. Someone with a broken heart and a soul belonging to the devil, sailing the seven seas in infamy. She was said to be ruthless; bodies of enemies and innocent lives littering the waters she sailed through. The world above feared her. Some accused her of belonging to the underworld herself. 

But the sirens told a different tale.

To them, she was a champion. She was a brave soul. Wherever she sailed, sirens were free to roam the water column, for under her orders, no harm would come to them. Sirens sang praises for her--this valiant captain who felled men (the largest threat to sirens) like they were cattle. It was also said that at the end of her bloody battles, after the last corpse was kicked into the ocean, a kiss was blown to the sirens below.

So what was the truth? Was she a vessel of evil like the humans above claimed her to be? Or was she the benevolent, beloved captain the sirens held her to be?

You liked to believe that the latter was true. The other sirens spoke of her with such fondness--such devotion and admiration, you couldn’t help but follow their lead. But there was always the chance of all of it being a simple rumor. So you bit your tongue and stayed still, obedient in your ways and tending to the kraken.

Until one day, word came round that she was in your waters.

Sirens raced past your reef, their brightly colored scales shimmering against the sun’s ray’s, telling you to come along--to see the sea captain in all her glory, in person. And thoughts of freedom, of unrestricted access to the deep blue, was too much for you to handle. How wonderful would it be, to be free? To have no shackles binding you to a sedentary life with no surprises. The sea captain offered safety, the sea captain offered sacrifices. And you couldn’t resist.

So you swam harder than you ever had before, fins held tightly against your body as you sped through the water. Would this captain be all she was talked up to be? The only way you could know was to see her for yourself. And though you didn’t know it, your heart had already begun to race at the thought of this captain being all of this and more. Would the sirens sing for her? Would they sing as she chummed the waters with your most feared predator? You couldn’t know for sure. But the thought made you push yourself to your limit. Maybe if you were lucky, you’d get to see her famed death kiss, too.

---

When you got to the scene, the waters were red and set ablaze with that foreign liquid that smelled of disease. You and the other sirens hid behind the safety of the rocks along the shore. Others told you that things had calmed down considerably; there were no more roars that cracked the sky, no more balls of lead that pierced the waters and sunk to the depths below. You asked how things were, if anybody had seen the captain, if she was victorious, if the battle had ended. The sirens looked to you with a smile on their face, immediately knowing it was your first time in the captain’s presence.

“She never loses,” one said.

“And she’s just as lovely as ever,” another cooed.

“Why don’t you go closer? The fighting has stopped, I think it’s about time we accept her offer,” said another.

You could do nothing but wait with baited breath as you followed the others. There were many sirens, all vividly colored in their own patterns, all lovely species from tropical waters, but they all paled in comparison to the woman above. A body fell from the world above, and all the sirens poked at your back, pushing you above towards the surface so you could catch a glimpse of the captain. You poked your head above water cautiously, for you still did not know if she was all she was made out to be. Would she be startled? Would she pierce you with one of those humanly devices?

But as you breached the water, you saw nothing but divinity. A tanned face with a fierce look, an eye covered by a patch. You could see what inspired the dreaded devil myth. But as you looked closer, your presence still undetected by her, you noticed her lips--soft and plump, like the lips you’ve come to love atop yours. And her hair, tied in a high knot atop her head and falling to one side of her shoulder, shimmered like the warmest water filtering over the rocks in the tide pool. Her clothes were coated in crimson, blood splattered across the gentle tans and browns of her attire. But in spite of the destruction, her stance was powerful; legs planted firmly on the ship she had absolute dominion over, broad shoulders pulled back straight and low, an immaculate posture that humans had to deal with, for water did not support them. She held an image of grace, but also an image of ferocity. It reminded you of the image the sirens had too. Beautiful sea maidens with voices as lovely as the waves kissing the shore, but a desire to consume humans by luring them to their watery graves. You realized how similar you were, then, and how she had captured the hearts of so many sirens.

For you were nearly one in the same, and perhaps she realized this too. Perhaps this is why she extended such kindness to the sirens.

But regardless of her motivator, one thing was certain: she had captured the hearts of the sirens and grounded the rumors with truth.

And, you did not know when you had started to get lost in your thoughts, but when you returned to reality, you saw the captain turn to you; her single eye meeting your gaze. Your heart caught in your throat as she brought her hand to her face, index and middle fingers touching her lips ever so briefly, before uncurling outwards towards you.

[skychasezone]

Tired eyes stared at her across the table. Amidst a warm coffee shop with Christmas songs playing in the background, she found that the atmosphere was anything but pleasant. There were many things she wanted to say--many things she wanted to know. But above all else, she wanted to know,

“Why?”

Weary eyes, sluggish in movement, moved to focus on her visage.

“I couldn’t tell you.”

Her teeth grind against one another, a flame burning up inside of her, boiling her blood and forcing her to restrain herself. Brown eyes brimming with pain looked over to green eyes filled with nothing but apathy.

“So what did you invite me over here for, then?”

“I just wanted to apologize,” she says, reaching for her cup of coffee. “I didn’t think you’d have the same number.”

A pain once forgotten opens up again; scar tissue ripped off clean. 

“What did you expect? That I’d just pretend like none of this ever happened?”

“Look, Miya I--”

“No.” Her voice is stern, so much unlike the meek girl she once was. A heart torn apart and sewn back together cannot forget, cannot forgive. “You don’t get to come at me with some half-assed apology and then tell me to calm down. You don’t GET to do that, Jessica. You destroyed me you know? And fuck, I know it was only high school, but I told you everything, and you didn’t give a shit.”

Brown eyes meet with green, one pair burning, the other already given up.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Miya. We were in high school. We were young and reckless--”

“YOU were young and reckless,” her voice raises, attracting the attention of the others in the coffee shop. She settles down, hands in her pockets. “You were reckless,” she repeats softly. “I thought you loved me. I really did.”

She stays silent, coffee filling the silence she can’t seem to break.

“I told you everything Jessica. How my parents were, how it affected me, how I was inexperienced. You used all of that to your advantage; used all of my weaknesses for your gain, and when you got tired of me you just threw me away. Did you ever stop to think about what you did?”

“I did, that’s why I’m here now.”

She scoffs, unbelieving of the event playing out in front of her.

“Took you that long, and you haven’t even changed.”

“Miya, just listen. I’m just trying to leave on a good note. Don’t make this difficult.”

“So that’s what this is, then? Just some cheap apology so you can sleep easily at night? Tell me Jessica, are you really sorry? Cause this seems like it’s more for you than it is for me.”

Downcast eyes and silence once more.

“So why did you do it?”

A deep inhale. “You know why.”

“I want to hear you say it,” she presses.

“I used you to make others jealous, it’s as simple as that.”

A jolt of pain shoots across her heart. Like the many times before, it seemed as though all anyone ever wanted her for was to invoke envy in the hearts of others. 

“Well,” she says, abruptly standing and pushing her chair in. “Guess karma’s a bitch. I’ve found a real love, you’ll never fool me again.”

[skychasezone]

You hear the sound of crackling fire, wood chips sparking and popping angrily as it is consumed by the flames. You go outside (the small alley still the same as it was before) to find her cooking meat as she always does; on a stick, rotating it every so often to thoroughly brown every angle. It was her best, and even if it didn’t compare to the food and drink the gods knew, it was the best tasting meat you’ve ever had.

“Miya,” you say, placing a hand on her shoulder and kneeling beside her.

She looks up at you with a smile (as she always does). “Yeah? I’m almost done, if you were getting too impatient,” she laughs.

“I wouldn’t dare rush you while you’re perfecting your craft,” you jest in return. “I just wanted to keep you company.”

“You’re gonna have the neighbors teasing me again, telling me how I jump like an ibex.” She laughs before leaning over for a quick kiss.

You grant her wish, placing your lips atop hers briefly. “It’s not my fault though, is it? I said that you had work the next day, but you were feeling daring. I hope you didn’t get in trouble though.”

She laughs once more, pulling the stick away from the fire and standing up. “I almost did, but my neighbors helped me out. They’re really nice you know? Always checking up on me to make sure I’m okay, and when I thank them for it they tell me they’re not doing anything special; they’re only following Isis’s wishes.” She looks to you and smiles again, but you can see the love in her eyes (can see her thanking you). “But come on, let’s go inside. I wouldn’t dare make you eat cold meat.”

You follow her inside, a question (a revelation) burning inside of your mind, just begging to be asked. But you figure it can wait.

—

You lie in bed (her bed, still made of straw and wool) and think of how you should go about this. There were so many ways to break this to her, yet none of them seemed right.

“Did you want me to blow the torch out?” she asks. “There’s a full moon out tonight so maybe I can save the torch life a little. I mean, unless you can’t see in the dark.”

You smile, still amused by the fact that she was so concerned over…mortal things. If anything, you could simply bring to life another flame, but she still chose to do things without bothering you. ‘Though…’ you think to yourself. She could easily learn to create a fire of her own. She had the divinity for it, she just didn’t know.

“Come here Miya.” You pat the space beside you, sitting up and crossing your legs.

She does as told, forgetting all about the torch at hand and kicking her sandals off before moving next to you. Her eyes are full of curiosity as they level with yours. Though she quickly lies down, placing her head in your lap.

“Would you like to hear a story, Miya?”

“What kind of story?”

“I have two to tell, though I’m afraid I can’t let you pick the order. They’re linked hand in hand, but I think you’ll find them enjoyable all the same,” you say, running your fingers through her bangs, combing the slight knots that formed throughout the day.

“Well I guess it wouldn’t hurt. I love listening to your voice; it’s so calming. I almost forgot the sound of it once.” She interlocked her fingers with your free hand, a look of sorrow briefly tainting her grand features.

A streak of pain shot through your heart at the thought of the pains she had to deal with. You were fading, you knew your time would soon end. And yet you pursued her–fell in love and made her fall for you too, despite knowing you would leave far sooner than she. It was selfish of you (perhaps the most selfish thing you’ve ever done) to want to end your time feeling loved, the way your people hadn’t loved you for a long, long while. And you found it in her. Her tender embraces, selfless kindness, and patient devotion. You thought leaving her would be easy (thought she would move on), but before you knew it, you were back on this planet, in a foreign room in a foreign country, gazing upon the war torn body of the woman who defied the laws of existence. For you, it was a brief moment in time. Like a nap. But for her? You couldn’t even begin to imagine how the years felt.

Tears threatened to spill, but you kept them at bay. She was here with you now, and you with her. There was nothing to feel sorrow over. Especially not now.

“I promise I won’t ever put you in that same position,” you whisper before bending over and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. She sighs in return.

“It’s okay. I know if given full control over the situation, you wouldn’t have let it happen that way.” She looks up at you with nothing but adoration in her eyes; the trust and genuine emotion forcing your heart to drum like thunder. “But what’s this story about?”

“Would it be conceited of me if I told you it’s about myself?”

“If you were anybody else but you, I’d say yeah,” she grins.

“Is that so?” You giggle in return. “Well, this is the story of my creation; of how the goddess you believe in came into existence.” You don’t think it necessary, but you let your true form show; your arms moving to embrace her countenance, fingers lightly grasping at her jaws while your feathers covered her torso.

She smiles a small smile. Your true form was nothing new to her, but you knew she loved catching glimpses of you that you did not share with the rest of the world.

“Before there was Kemet, there was nothing but water, dark and never ending. All was lifeless. There were no sounds, no sights. Nothing, save for the endless abyss of Nu, existed. But then, something strange happened. Light filtered over the surface. It was red, blood red, but faded to pink, then orange. For the first time, the Sun had risen. And I don’t know what I was before. If I was a spec of sand drifting along the infinite body of Nu, then I had no conscious–no way of knowing that I existed. And perhaps I always had one and just didn’t know, or perhaps the sun breathed life into something where there was none. I couldn’t tell you for sure,” you smile, amusement bubbling up at the pout on her face. Perhaps she wanted a more straightforward answer to how you came into being, but that was all you knew. “And with this newfound light–this newfound life–I drifted to the surface of the water, aching to see more of the sudden light that had cast itself over the darkness I once knew. But when I reached the surface, reached the end I once thought was endless, I found that I could go no farther. It was unfair, I remember thinking. How could this beautiful light show up and not let me get closer? I don’t know how it happened, but I imagined myself moving through the air, doing whatever I could to get to this bright orb.”

She brushes a hand against the feathers atop her body, instantly picking up the next part. “So you…made wings?”

“Yes,” you whisper. “I don’t know how, but, I imagined…something–anything that could get me to the source of this life giving light. And when I reached it,”

“It gave you your name?” she interrupted.

You smile. “Yes, it gave me my name. But it is not the Isis Kemet knows. My name–my true name, you already know. Asha. Do you know what it means, Miya?”

She looks up at you, eyes ablaze with realization and astonishment. “It means life,” she says, grinning with her teeth showing.

“It means life,” you repeat, bending down to place a chaste kiss upon her lips. “I do not know if it was chance, or if it was purely intentional, but that is my name; the name of the goddess that would come to create everything.”

“At least it makes sense. Would be a little strange if your name meant death,” she laughed. “But I’d love it just the same.”

“Do you think flattery will win my heart over even more, Miya? You have all of it already.” You brush your thumb across her lips, feeling them pull into a smile. “But I was given a name, and with the wings I created, I decided that it would not be fair for me to be the only one with the gift of life. How many others existed in the waters of Nu? The answer could have been anything. Ten, twenty, thirty; a thousand, ten thousand, a hundred thousand. Or even none at all. I did not know. But it was strange being the only thing in existence. Save for the sun, but that is a being that transcends god hood. The feeling of loneliness–absolute loneliness, is a feeling I would rather not relive. There was light, there was darkness, and there was me. Nothing more, nothing less.”

She shifts slightly, moving into a more comfortable position. “So…during this time were you, uh, did you look like a human? Or were you…a ball of light with wings or?”

You chuckle at her curiosity. Perhaps you should have been clearer. “Yes, I already had the shape of a human. Or rather, humans took on the shape I had. But when I first created things, I was not very…imaginative. Do you know of the sponges that live in the sea?”

“Uhh,” she pauses, brain working overtime to recall any sort of memory. “The ones that look like rocks?”

“There are various forms, but yes. They were the first thing I created. I thought that if there were other beings like me living in the waters of Nu, maybe I should give them some company so that they never know the absolute loneliness I once knew.”

She smiles again, for the fiftieth time that night. “So from the very beginning you were selfless too. No wonder we all fell in love with you.”

You tap your fingers lightly along her jaw. You were not free from selfish thoughts and actions, but you appreciate the compliment. “Well, it was not that way from the start. I went on to make many more creatures and structures before humans. Fish, plants, landmasses, the forces of nature. I will spare you the details and skip to the…interesting part?” You look to her to see if she’s alright with omitting things. When you hear no disagreement, you continue. “But these creatures I created, lovely as they were, did not satisfy me. They were smart in their own ways, all fighting to survive, but there was something else inside of me that I did not know at the time. It burned, it ached. I wanted to create something that was beyond intelligent. I wanted to create something…like myself. I wanted to create something that could express themselves the way I did–something that could create like I did. So I took my wings and breathed life into a form similar to mine; took the light that gave me my own conscience, and gave it to this creation. My hands, my eyes, my heart. They would be just like me–could think just like me. But,” you pause. “I was fearful that they would somehow overthrow me. If I made them too powerful, would they take away everything I’ve done? I could not know for sure. So I withheld some things. Language, most notably. I did not give these humans the ability to understand one another.”

She looked up blankly. “But we do understand each other?”

“Yes, but it was not that way in the beginning. Originally, the first humans could only grunt in varying pitches. Perhaps it was the creativity I instilled them with, but these first humans came together and created a small language of their own. A grunt this way would mean something, while a grunt coupled with a gesture would mean something else. And do you know how wonderful that felt, Miya? For the first time I created something that could think beyond the limitations I had placed on it. The fish in the sea communicate with one another, but nowhere near the level that the humans did, and continue to do. And their intelligence and language only continued to grow over time. Instead of just fighting to survive, these humans began forming communities. They took the two forms I gave them; the ones you currently know as male and female, and created communities around that. Instead of wandering around and being nomadic they started to stay grouped up. And they saw instant results. In working with one another they were able to increase their chances at hunting. And eventually, many, many many years down the road, they learned to settle down and cultivate food of their own. Farming, Miya. They learned how to farm--to grow food instead of chasing it. I was in tears. My little creations came so far. They learned so much...”

The smile on her face grew slowly at first, until it reached from ear to ear and split entirely, revealing her pearly white teeth. “I had no idea you felt all of this. It’s so...cute? I don’t know how else to describe it, but, seeing you fawn over all of your hard work...and just, getting a feel for the emotion you felt? I always just assumed you were kind of the thing that created everything else, and that you were detached. But you’re not and it’s so...enamoring.” Her eyes were filled with such boundless joy and adoration--such raw emotion. It made you want to kiss her until the morning sun, until her stomach hurt so much from giggling, until her mind was numb with the endless amount of love you had for her. 

But, you had a story to tell.

“How could I not love the things I’ve created? They all filled the abyss I once knew with such vibrant colors and sounds--such amazing sights, smells, and tastes. Without them, I would still be alone in the waters of Nu.” You bend down once more, your hair falling around the two of you like a blanket. “Without them, I wouldn’t have you,” you whisper, feeling her lips coming up to meet yours after she processes the weight of your words. You pull back. Tears are forming in her eyes, but the smile on her face tells you that they are not tears of sorrow.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” she laughs, hastily wiping at the unshed tears.

You chuckle along with her. Her selflessness seemed to know no bounds, apparently. “You weren’t, don’t worry. But the point I’m trying to make is that I never expected this much from humans. They created something out of essentially nothing and only continued to grow and grow in their intelligence. In learning how to settle down and have food at their disposal, they were able to slow down the pace of life. For once, they were able to stop and smell the flowers. And this newfound time they had allowed them to grow even more. They were able to protect themselves, they had food, they had family. So instead of thinking about survival, they were able to stop and dwell on their own thoughts. And do you know what this led to, Miya?”

She shakes her head gently. “I’m stumped this time,” she grins.

Your wings start to shimmer; the natural, godly glow you kept hidden so often, finally given the chance to reflect your godliness in its true glory. “It led to the creation of Isis--the creation of me. The humans longed to know how they came to be. It was a question that burned so strongly within all of them; this innate curiosity within them, that allowed them to conquer their fears and come together, had finally taken them back to questioning their origins. And they had no answer, for I left no trace. But, with the creativity and vast imagination I imbued them with, they came to a conclusion that...something, something higher than them must have made them. They chose to address it by what they knew as a woman, for they assigned that gender to the people that are able to birth the next generation. And they named this woman, this goddess--the creator of all they ever knew, Isis. And I was so taken aback. Never once did I think they would be able to come this far--to think of such things with vibrant detail and imagination. So I took the name; took the role. From then on, I was Isis.”

“So when you say your true name is...Asha, you mean to tell me that you did not name yourself Isis?” she asks, eyes still full of wonder and interest.

“Yes,” you reply with a small smile. “I am Asha, but with the language that the humans themselves created, and the love in their hearts for their creator, I was known as Isis. And I loved it--loved them. I created them, and they created me. Such is the story of Isis’s beginnings,” you whisper, moving to lie down next to her. Your glow dissipates, your wings turn to nothing once more.

“I,” she paused. “I don’t know what to say. This--you, you’re so much more complex than I thought. I, you just, you’re so,” she floundered once more, struggling to convey thoughts and emotions you could already feel. “You’re amazing, Asha,” she decides to settle on.

“Yes but, the same could be said for you, my dearest Miya.” You’re facing her now, lying on your side with a hand cupping her cheek.

She scoffs, apparently unbelieving of the compliment. “I never set forth the motions of an entire civilization,” she says. A hand snakes around your waist, lying limply atop your hips.

“But you have done something else that no other being has done before, Miya.”

She raises an eyebrow in gest. “And what’s that?”

“That,” you reply, eyelids gently closing, “is a story for another day. I promised you two, but I’m afraid I must go back on my word.”

You can feel the smile on her face as she presses her lips to your cheek. “I guess I’ll wait till then.” She pulls you in just a little closer, burying her face into the crook of your neck. “I don’t know what to say. All of this is so overwhelming, but...I’m glad that I got the chance to meet you, Asha.”

“Believe me when I say that I’m honored to have met you too, Miya. Your heart is far too golden.” You bring a hand to the back of her head, gently easing her just a little further into you. “But I would give all of this up--all I have ever done, if it meant staying with you forever. Though, I suppose that would be futile anyway.”

“Why’s that?” she asks once more.

“That is a story for another day, my love.”

[skychasezone]

You wanted to punch yourself in the face now more than ever. It was always a rule of yours to never bring someone home while you were inebriated, but you had one drink too many, and the man in front of you was too charming. His words were sweet, his manners proper. Perhaps a little too proper. But your head was spinning, thoughts void of anything but how much more handsome the man in front of you would look underneath your hips. So you brought him home, drunken clumsiness not even a problem, since he was there to catch you every time you faltered. It was sweet, you couldn’t deny that. But as with everybody else, it would never amount to anything--could never amount to anything.

Unfortunately, he didn’t take too well to that.

He claimed he was the one for you, that the two of you were destined to meet and fall in love. He gripped your hand and stared deep into your eyes; a threat display that got its message clear across. His desperateness was an instant red flag. Normally, you would have flown off the handle and smacked some (verbal) sense into someone so lost in themselves, but you knew you couldn’t do so in this situation. He was volatile, and adding any more fuel to the fire could easily bring more danger to yourself.

So you smiled that saccharine sweet smile of yours and cupped his thigh, telling him that you’d be back soon enough, you just had to go to your room to change into something more comfortable. It seemed to calm him down enough, but you knew it wouldn’t last long.

The second you reached your bedroom, you locked your door. It was unfortunate that your bedroom window didn’t have a fire escape stairwell, but maybe leaving someone alone in your home while you fled wasn’t the best idea. Picking your phone out of your pocket, you immediately switched to the dial pad to call 911. But a nagging feeling made you hesitate. How would the authorities react to your situation? How could you know they wouldn’t tase you? Blame you for this entire thing happening in the first place? You bit your knuckle. A feeling of helplessness overcame you as you realized how alone you were. It would only be a few minutes before the man in your living room realized he was abandoned, and judging by the muscles bulging out of his t shirt, you figured he would have no problem kicking your door down.

You gripped your phone, looking down at the 911 on your dim screen. To even be in this situation (weighing your odds against the people who were supposed to protect those in need) was a painful reality so many people like you faced. Would the police turn this against you? You couldn’t say for sure. But the fact that that was even a possibility was enough to keep you from calling them entirely. But what else could you do? Fight the man off? Your only method was the pepper spray in your bag, which just happened to be on the coffee table in the living room. You were an athlete, but your frame was more lithe, like that of a track runner. Besides, you didn’t even know much about self defense, since fighting wasn’t an interes--

‘Fighting.’

Within an instant you switched to messenger, rapidly tapping your screen to get your message across.

“Miya, please come over”

Your heart was racing; she was your only hope. You glanced at the time at the top of your phone. It was nearing 1AM but she was a night owl that somehow managed to run off of three hours of sleep every day, so the chances of her being up were probably still high. You couldn’t say for sure; all you could do was pray to see those three dots pop up.

“what do you want i’m six ft deep in my cervix”

You would have laughed normally at the fact that she remained unchanged, still as much a wanton being of the night, but you couldn’t spare a second.

“Miya please, listen to me. Do you still have the key to my apartment?”

“ya”

“Okay, good. I need you to come over immediately.”

Three dots. Three dots that could make or break your safety.

“bitch wtf why? i’m like two mins away from busting”

“I brought someone home and he’s dangerous, Miya please. I don’t want to call the cops cause they could easily pin this whole thing as prostitution, or something worse.”

The same three dots popped up and you swore you had never waited with such baited breath before.

“i’ll be there”

You let out a sigh of relief and sank down, your back leaning against the only thing keeping you from danger. Somehow, some part of you knew she’d be there. Her loyalty was unfaltering; her gratitude eternal. You saved her--extended a hand out to her when no one else would. She wouldn’t forget that. Ever. Despite all the teasing and trash talking thrown at one another, the two of you knew that at the end of the day, it was all in jest. She was still your best friend, and even though she never explicitly said so, you knew you were hers too. And she would do anything to see to your safety.

It filled you with a sense of hope--a sense of security. And as you heard the sound of a motorcycle’s engine blaring down the street, you couldn’t help but feel as though everything would be alright (would be okay), even with the hands banging against your door.

“Thank you Miya”

[skychasezone]

“Don’t you dare wear your human facade around me,” she spat. Her voice was harsh, not at all flowing and sweet the way it normally was when she prayed. Her snakes lie behind her, their seven hooded heads coming together like a fan. It was a threat display and you knew it. She was asserting her dominance, her superiority, her immortality.

It made your skin crawl--made your blood boil. “I’ll use whichever fucking form I want.” You stand your ground, stepping closer to her.

“Do you tell yourself that when she’s around?”

Your eyes widen and she knows she’s hit a nerve. Her smirk is small, but sets you off nonetheless. Your tusks are bared despite the futility of it all. She isn’t afraid (has no reason to be), and though you could easily gash through the toughest hides, you are powerless against her.

“You claim that you’re a benevolent spirit; a loving protector of Buddha, but I see no hospitality,” you say through clenched teeth. You try your hardest to remain calm, for the second you lose control, you know anything you say will fall on deaf ears.

“I am a protector of Buddha and his followers. You are a danger to them--are a danger to her. I know of your ways, you rakshasas and your thirst for blood. You may be different, but I know the second you find a way to feast on their forbidden red meat, you will. Don’t think for a second that I am blind to your conniving ways.”

You grind your teeth together and bite down the urge to bring your arms (all four of them) around her neck. “So do you scold the monkey, for eating the beetle? Or the crocodile for eating the deer? I am no different, yet you scorn me.”

“The monkey does not bring fruit to the ant, the crocodile does not sing songs to the deer. They do not manipulate one another in order to gain something. The same cannot be said for you.”

You pause, thinking back to your very first reaction upon seeing Asha. It was not of hunger or malicious intent. She was beautiful, so, so beautiful. But you couldn’t deny that soon after, your mind wandered to an appetite that could never be quelled. “I’m not, I don’t,” you whisper weakly, eyes falling to the ground.

“Oh?” She chuckles. “Does your stomach not ache, day in, day out, for them? For her? Do not lie to yourself Miya, you are every bit a rakshasa. You may be able to fool her with the sweet fruits you bring, the sweet songs you sing, but I know that you are not sated--will never be sated until you sink your fangs into her sweet flesh.”

Within a second your skin darkens, and your arms aim for her neck.

“Don’t you ever compare her to livestock.” Your hands are pushing forward, despite the fangs digging into your wrists. She was too quick; her snakes were there to seize your arms, their poison dripping into your blood, setting fire to it. But you did not relent. “You can take my humanity away, you can turn me into a monster, you can make me pay for a thousand lives, but don’t you ever reduce her to something meant to taunt me.”

She turns her head away, perhaps in shame, for stooping so low. Her snakes loosen their grip and retreat back to her side, and you take a step back, lowering your hands. “Go lick your wounds, Miya. She’ll be here soon. Don’t make her worry.”

You turn away wordlessly, choosing to walk the anger off instead of arguing futilely. 

---

“Miya,” she says warmly, and you crack an eye open to see her face.

You smile slowly, patting the ground beside you softly. Your wrists still ached, your hands still shook. Though you were blessed with immense strength and vitality, the poison of an immortal was still taxing. “Sit with me, Asha.”

She sits next to you, her back leaning against the tree you were propped up against. She smells of jasmines and frangipanis, most likely from a recent blessing.

“Have you gone to the monks today?"

“Mmm, only for a little. I brought rice, but didn’t stay for lunch. I got a little blessing though, the same longevity and easy life as always,” she said, resting her head on your tanned shoulder. “No matter how many times I go through it, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the first drop of water that surprises you.”

You wanted to laugh, but your lungs burned, so you ended up smiling again. “I’d probably get scared too.”

“You’re sleeping in the forest, where snakes or boars could easily attack you and you’re telling me some water would startle you?” Her laughter flows naturally, smooth and sweet like honey, just like the fingers intertwining with yours. “I’m just kidding.”

Though your nerves are still shocked, you squeeze her hand as gently as you can, thankful that the damage done to your true form didn’t transfer to your human form.

“I thought of you today during the blessing.”

“Oh?” You tilt your head over to look at her.

“I know I don’t have the authority to bless people, but I thought y’know...maybe I could share some of my blessing with you. I mean, I know it’s silly but, who knows? Maybe it’ll work." She scoots over closer to you, flush against your side. “Gifts are best when shared, aren’t they?”

An ache pangs along in your body, but it is not from the venom, is not from the perpetual hunger. It did not stem from your lungs or your stomach. No. It stemmed from your heart.  

“Longevity sounds nice, as long as I get to spend it with you.”

She slaps your shoulder lightly, her laughter filling your ears once more. “Of course, Miya. I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

And you knew then that no amount of poison or taunts thrown your way could sway your thoughts. You had forgotten about hunger, and learned of love.

[skychasezone]

Things were comfortable, but you’d never become too comfortable.

You loved her with all of your heart and wanted to continue loving her with all of your heart. You’ve heard stories about people falling madly in love, then quickly spiraling out of it. As hardheaded as you are, you’re not stupid. You know why such things happen, and it’s all because of complacency. Once people woo their partners and put a ring around their finger, they think that things are settled permanently--that they’ve reached some sort of end goal of love. No more spontaneous, proclamations of love. No more flowers for Valentine’s day. No more small dates to freshen things up.

Love, like a flower, must be carefully tended to. Without proper care, it will wither and die.

You knew that.

So you made it a goal to always show your love for her.

They weren’t always big, grand things (they didn’t need to be), and she appreciated every little gesture. From slurpees from Seven Eleven, to surprise massages, you made sure to show your love for her in every little way you could slip thought and care in. And of course, there were fancier, more coordinated things you’d do for her, like renting out Casa de Cobre for Valentine’s day for a cozy atmosphere. 

And she appreciated each and every gesture, no matter how small. You couldn’t tell if it was because of her natural ability to sense the feelings of others, or if she’s just become so accustomed to having to read between the lines (from your earlier, less affectionate days), but she somehow managed to smile that heart stopping smile of hers whenever you did something even remotely sweet.

And naturally, you noticed everything she did for you too. Like the way she’d cook pot roast without carrots, because you couldn’t stand them. Or the way she’d comb through your wet hair at night, carefully detangling all the knots while she listened to your adventures for the day, telling you every now and then to not be too reckless. She had her large displays of affection, too. Beach days were a common thing for the two of you, and more often than not, the two of you would just lounge around on your towels, soaking up the warmth of the sun. She’d always take the opportunity to compliment you about your beauty--both inner and outer. It’d start with your pronounced collar bones (followed by a break in the shower of compliments as she takes the time to kiss every feature she speaks so fondly of), and inevitably end up on your kind heart, that she claimed was far too big. Not that she minded, of course.

It meant the world to you, and only made your love and eternal loyalty to her grow stronger. It set forth a cycle of kindness--she showed her love for you, and you in turn would return the affection tenfold, only to find her doing the same. Your love could only grow with such reinforcement; such constant reminders that your hearts belonged to each other, and each other alone.

And your love, once just a flower, had bloomed into a wondrous garden filled with vibrant colors and aromatic scents; constant reminders that you should never--would never--take her love for granted.

[skychasezone]

Is that so?

You fell back to the bed, skin slick with sweat. She followed soon after, breath heavy after working to keep you satisfied. It made your heart soar, knowing that she would devote herself to such strenuous motions just to make you feel like you could touch the stars. So it came as no surprise that you would moan, her name rolling across your tongue like the holiest of prayers to be sung out to the highest, most benevolent gods. Her name was all that could leave your lips; your thoughts void of everything but the hands on your chest, the hips rolling in to meet yours, and the bites and kisses lining the junction where your collarbone met your neck. You cried her name out, sometimes in pairs of two’s, three’s, four’s; sometimes in continual bursts lasting minutes.

So as you lied there, looking at her smiling countenance, you couldn’t help but think: what did her name mean? You said it daily, with the fondest affection, yet had no idea of what it entailed.

“Asha,” you say, this time clear, all lust gone with your sated drive. “What does your name mean?”

“Hm? That’s a random thing to ask, especially now,” she smiles, a hand reaching down for the thin covers and pulling it up to your stomachs.

You wrinkle your nose in return. It was a seemingly random thing, but with a little explanation, things would be clearer.

“Yeah, but I mean...I say it all the time, especially during times like this, and it makes me think y’know? What does it mean? I just wanna get to know you a little better.”

She looks to you with that unwavering smile of hers and points over to the small banana palm sapling in the corner of the bedroom. “Asha means life.”

You blink, taking in that simple, yet complex sentence. How fitting, you thought, that the woman who helped guide you through the dark, the woman who showed you that you were worth loving, the woman who kissed your scars closed, would be named life.

“I like that,” you say, your gaze meeting hers, unable to look anywhere else than in the warm pools that saw something to love in your broken, battered heart.

She giggles, a light, melodic sound, and you swear it’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever heard. 

“Well I’m glad you like it. I’m not quite sure what I’d do if you didn’t like its meaning. What if it meant something like...sewer water? Would you have a nagging feeling at the back of your head every time you heard my name?”

You wanted to tell her that even if her name meant sewer water, you’d still love it--would still whisper it with the gentlest of care, as if anything above that would be too brash, too barbaric for her. But words were never really your forte.

“I...” you pause, still lost in her eyes--the same eyes that looked to you with such warmth and anticipation, as if every moment the two of you spent with one another was an adventure. “I’d still like it...”

“Is that so?” she laughs again. You can tell she’s amused, and probably knows what you’re truly trying to convey. “How about you? What does Miyameia mean?”

You pause, this time out of genuine uncertainty, and perhaps a little fear? Your name, in addition to being absolutely absurd, had no real meaning to it. There was no hidden beauty behind it; just a pathetic attempt at seeming unique. Your full name was a closely guarded secret only few knew about, because it was an embarrassment to explain. Your parents wanted you to stand out from the crowd so much, that they gave you a name that was sure to turn a head or two. You didn’t know what to tell people when they asked you of its meaning. You almost wanted to say that it meant ‘my parents are assholes,’ but you refrained from doing so, and usually just shrugged and told others that you didn’t know of its meaning. But faced with the question now, in front of the only woman you’ve ever truly loved, you find yourself coming up with a different answer. If it didn’t have a meaning, then who was to say you couldn’t give it one?

You scoot closer to her, moving to lie your head down against her chest as your arms wrap around her torso. You can still smell the mango passion fruit perfume on the crook of her neck, and part of you wonders how it can last even after all the two of you have done, but another part of you thinks that it’s only natural for anything and everything to want to linger on her for as long as possible. You feel her own hands come up to caress you--one at the back of your head, the other at your back--and you wonder how you ever felt unsound, when the key to your security lied in her very arms.

“It means ‘I’m yours,’” you whispered into her neck, gently tightening your hold on her. Your words were genuine--there was no playful flirtation behind them meant to make her heart swoon. She had all of your heart, every broken piece of it, and there was absolutely no one else you could possibly give it to. Your love hadn’t reached its pinnacle, no. You don’t think it ever could with her around, but it had definitely settled and had no intention of moving.

You expect to hear another giggle, perhaps another light slap on your shoulder for being so sweet, but instead you feel her arms wrap even tighter, and her heartbeat picking up in her chest. Your heart can’t help but pound faster too, in knowing that she holds your love in such high regards.

“Is that so?” she asks again, pulling you close and resting her head atop yours.

You close your eyes and nod gently, feeling yourself lulled to sleep by the sound of her heart, so full of love--all for you.