#sorry for no readmore im on mobile and dont know how to add one

[puzzlebones]

I don't think ur links in ur pinned post work. I tried to click your rules And it wouldn't let me see them.

[Unfortunately my links on my pinned post only work on desktop, doesnt work on mobile. Been too lazy to fix it lmao but I can copy paste the rules here in this ask under a readmore]

~ DA RULES ~

- No Godmodding

- No pedophilia

- No Beastiality

- No Crazy Sexual kinks (ask if your wanna know which ones)

- Mun is over 18 (hewwo Im 32 lmao), and most muses on the blog are also over 18. any muse under 18 will not participate in any kind of suggestive or adult explicit content

- No pushing or rushing me to do threads or asks….it will only stress me and make me not wanna answer yeh xD

- No Begging me or harassing me for RP’s. It’s fine to ask once or twice, but if you start spamming me and trying to guilt trip me or beg…I will more then likely ignore/softblock. This is one of the Very few times, I will actually ignore someone.

- This blog DOES contain Darker themes and explicit content from time to time, such things will be tagged with a TW, if I miss something please feel free to shoot me a message or anon and I will fix it, no biggy. If certain muses trigger you, I do have their tag listed in the muses infos, feel free to add their tag to your blacklist.

I DO NOT RP privately in the DM’s nor do I RP privately on Discord or other outside chat programs, those are strictly for OOC interactions as fas as Im concerned. I am Very Picky and selective when it comes to shipping at smut, I’m more comfortable RP-ing those types of things with people I have become pretty familiar/Close friends with. It’s a personal thing to me

Other then that, Im flexible.

Dont have to worry about triggers cause most things dont bother me to that point

ON OC’S - I have no issues with OC’s C: just make sure you got some information about em so I know what I’m getting into lol.

ask memes, Tagging me, @me if yeh want. Occasionally I take a break from replying but I WILL get to you…eventually.

I AM SLOW AF…so I hope your okay with me taking 5ever to respond sometimes.

Sometimes my Muses are finicky! and some threads may take me longer to do then others, simply because the muse is being an ass at the time. Make sure you check which Muse is active or not in my Pinned post! Cause sometimes your ask/Thread starter will just sit in the void that is my drafts/ask box if its for a muse that is taking a nap.

There are times when I only feel like doing certain threads at that point in time, this is nothing against anyone and I’m not ignoring you by any means…just sometimes some threads get replied to faster then others.

I will 100% admit that I do respond faster to Friends that I talk to mostly on a daily basis, I’m sorry thats just how it is with me…it’s only cause I feel more open and comfy with buddies then strangers….all the more reason to hit me up OOC and be a feral gremlin with me :D

I am MUTUALS ONLY…meaning we have to be following each other for me to reply. This is for my own comfort as well as easier to track my activities. That doesnt mean you can’t interact with me…I still accept asks from anyone for questions, Headcanon stuff, OOC stuff, and even just general bugging my muses….just don’t expect me to answer if you turn that ask into a thread or something :C

I dont care about Reblog karma so dont worry bout it, but hey if you practice it, more power to yeh…I just have a really bad memory and couldnt remember to practice it

I have a pretty bad issue of fluctuating motivation, so there might be days where I will reply spam, and other times where I might just vanish for days/weeks at a time. This is an anxiety/depression thing.

ON PERSONAL BLOGS

- Unless your personal blog is attached to a RP side blog, please do not reblog In character or Out of Character stuff from me! Doing so will result in a straight up Block from me.

[[OOC]]

Out of Character I use the pokemon Vaporeon as my Mun Face Claim…I also have a tendancy to post OOC alot when Im in weird moods lmao, but I usually try to clean it up later on

I only ask that you please refrain from copying or outright stealing any idea or headcanon I post to this blog. I put a lot of effort into this and would hate to see it go to waste. I understand that sometimes duplicates will have the same Headcanons, and sometimes a same hat situation happens. Thats fine, just don’t blatantly rip off my HC’s.

As for how I run my blogs….I’m very ‘Wing it’…in that I don’t normally have a fully fleshed out idea when I start said blogs, I just let whatever happens shape it…Dont get me wrong I DO have an idea when I START the blog, but really I’m just flexible and like to see where things go. I let my interactions with others shape my muses in their growth.

If you’ve read and fully understand my rules, Toss me a “NYEH HEH HEH”

[readandwritesilver]

anon asking abt part two of my wwdits post-s3 fic i got ur ask while i was out earlier and i mustve deleted it by accident im sorry 😭😭 tumblr mobile is dicky as it is and i also dont really know how to use it fhdjjs.

(readmore bc my answer to this is kind of long and rambly and i dont want to clog the dash w it lol)

in short it is still. coming. ive backburnered it for the moment because a) im a highschool student with a pretty heavy courseload this sem (two uni preps and two academics, all with heavy workloads and just like. high level courses yknow) and b) when i was writing a long-er multichap last year i found that if i didnt write an individual oneshot between chapters id get really burned out and id slog through writing the fic only to churn out stuff that was. not good. which i do not want to happen bc !! i love the first part and i want to add to it in a way that im proud of. i have pretty limited time to write, because between above coursework + the fact that im in ? i think five or six extracurriculars not only am i busy im like. tired lol. but yeah said limited time is currently devoted to other wips (primarily one but i do bounce between a few others sometimes), and when i finish one of them, prob my main one, my brain will be unblocked and ill finish the sequel. initially my goal was to finish both before december, then it was oneshot before december and sequel before winter break, and currently its oneshot before break and sequel before christmas. mostly im just aiming to have them both out before the new year

also i just want to say. ok your message was really nice and i realize that by typing out the whole above paragraph ive kind of nullified what im about to say but. please dont send me asks like this. again this isnt the fault of you personally but this is the reason i almost never do ongoing works, because people just immediately build up these expectations about when the rest is coming and will hit me with this "where's the update" as though i have it sitting in a box under my bed. itll come when it comes, and if it doesnt........ im sorry to have dissapointed you but also im just a teenager with access to google docs writing pretend stories that are pretender than the pretend people theyre about. i dont. uh. i hate how this sounds but i dont owe you an update. again anon your message was very nice im not angry at you personally !! like 75% of messages/comments i get like this are very nice and well-intentioned, and obv im honored that you like what i wrote so much that youre actively seeking out when theres gonna be more but just. yeah these messages are wayyyy more stressful than they are flattering.

[genderfreezone]

mom didsome fucked up shit n im ventig. gonna call me therapist bc i dont know what to do.

how do ii add a readmore on mobile i odnt know

---

its hrd to move and my eyes keep de-focusing and my drunk mom screamed and touched me and tickled and pulled on me when i didnt get out of bed, threew my gender in my face, threatened to withhold my terminally ill infirm grandmother's basic needs of the toilet and warmth wgen i didnt do what she wanted immediately when she wanted it.

i get pissy and annoyed when im interrupted by grandma needing something, but i always come downstairs and help. if i donnt do it one time because my body is having problems i deserve to be screamed at and vilified and touched and told what a horrible awful selfish lazy sexist male scum pile of dogshit i am.

why yes mother that completely fixes whatever physiological ailment is keeping me from doing what you demand of me. yes i really am being willfully lazy and selfish when i dont think its safe for me to try helping my dying grandmother who is begging for your help im ny current physical state.

yes mother i WANT to be sleeping 22 hours a day and doing NOTHING. it feels GREAT and im doing it COMPLETELY ON PUROSE. i LOVE being ducking powerless when my grandmother calls desperately for help. i am WILLFULLY dizzy and unsteady on my feet. it feels AMAZING to be an IMPOTENT UNCONSCIOUS LUMP.

ny head hurts, my body feels aawful, and i kust want to crumble into sand.

i can push through it for maybe 20 minutes at a time but rhen i need to sleep for like 3 hours. my friend was here for a day and a half and i spent most of that time PASSED OUT.

m sorry im weak and useless. im not as capable as its convenient for you to believe. my limit is so much lowers than everyone else i know and all you do is tell me that im lying andd just beifing lazy and selfish.

im so scared to tell her anything ever. i never know what shes gonna freak out about, what shes gonna invalidate, or what shes going to deem unimportant or "a lie". whenever i tell her i dont feel good, all she does is list all the ways my suffering is my own fault through some failingh of mine so i deserve it and she doesnt have to go easy on me or think about it anymore. like shes "tryig to figure out the reason" why i feel bad, but it either ends up being some self-care thing i was too "lazy/selfish" to do, or i cant find a reason so i must not actually feel sick.

shes never gonna be happy, so she has to make sure everyone she "loves" knows how terrible and awful and selfish they are.

im dont see any way to get out. i dont have friends or family in the area that i can rely on. i dont see any future. i know its there, but i dont know what it looks like, it could be worse than this, it could be homelessness and starvation and being denied the medicine i need to stay alive. im scared. i let all my friends drift away. its my fault that i have nobody. its my fault that i dont have noelle anymore. i dont think im really even worth talking to. im just a sad-sack pile of mommy-issues and chronic medical conditions. im not worth anything outside of what i produce: ideas, art, conversation. and im so fuckign slow and awkward and sparse with all of those. i dont know how to talk to people, i dont know how to make firends, i dont know how to make myself interesting, i dont know how to make myself better than i am. i jsut want a mom that isnt insane. i want a family. i want someone i can just connect with if nothing else. i want my old high school friends back. i want my childhood back. i want . i want noelle back.

[skychasezone]

She lied atop her bed, the events of the day playing once again through her head. It was a normal one; she got up at 6AM and showered before heading to work, where things went by as usual. She worked on replacing the oxygen sensor, as she had the past couple days, only to get chewed out by a coworker for taking an assignment he had (even though he'd neglected it in favor of off time).

It wasn't until she got off and got a text from Yasmine that her daily routine was thrown off. It was her birthday. She knew that. The same way she knew Yasmine would call her over and surprise her with Markus and Kerven. It was a tradition they'd fallen into for the past...maybe three years? Ever since she'd moved out of her adoptive parents' place, there wasn't really an opportunity to celebrate her birthday, so they all decided to bring the party to her.

It was a sweet gesture--one she appreciated greatly, but there was still something missing. She knew what it was. Something so small, so seemingly simple, but so important.

Over time she had tried to push down the fact--said she didn't need it, that it wasn't important--but after all the years that have come and gone, it still kept her up at night, crept up on her like a slow poison, until she found her chest tightening.

She was twenty four now. Long gone were the days where she'd have parties thrown in extravagance, simply for her parents' ability to show off their wealth. She should have gotten the message: she didn't matter to them. Maybe once, she did. But now? Now they couldn't even be bothered to send a letter or give her a call. It was like she didn't even exist. How could the very people that brought her into this world pretend like they hadn't done just that? It was a question she found herself dwelling on far too much. She'd endured a lot; found out the hard way that her parents didn't care about her. But as much as she liked to pretend that it didn't matter...

It absolutely did.

There was a feeling of absolute loneliness that she couldn't describe. It had tears welling up in her eyes, which she always fought, but no matter how much she tried, they always fell. Her breath picked up as she tried to keep herself composed. She didn't need them. She had a new family--had a new friend. They loved her. She didn't need theirs.

But then there was that thought--the thought that always broke her down; took a fearsome, trained martial artist and tore her down, leaving behind a five year old with one question:

'Why didn't they want me?'

And suddenly she screamed. An agonizing wail of pain brought on by year upon year of neglect and hurt. She clutched her arms around herself as she turned onto her side and curled up into a ball. She was worthy of love. She didn't deserve any of it. She was just a kid. Why did they hate her so much? Why did they abandon her? Why didn't they love her? The thoughts filtered through her mind rapidly, relentlessly.

Why didn't they want her?

Why didn't they want her?

Tears streamed down her cheeks--her eyes shut so tightly the tears could only well up in her lashes before falling. Her shoulders shook as the sobs wracked her body. All she wanted was to be loved by her parents. It was as simple as that. There was no feeling in the world equatable to being unwanted by the very people that should give one unconditional love. They were horrible people. She knows that. But she didn't know just what she did as a kid--what absolute horror she could have committed, for them to toss her aside so carelessly.

She was all she had.

Alone, in a dark, empty apartment, she had no mother to hold her in her arms until she calmed down. She had no father to lay a gentle, understanding hand on her shoulder. All she had was the reminder that she was utterly alone, unloved, and undeserving of love.

And as her sobs tired her out and left her simply shaking, she drifted off to sleep--her tears drying up and leaving behind crusts of salt--unaware that she had once again completed a yearly birthday tradition.

Though, this one had gone on much longer.