#maybe it’s just healing that part of me that got hurt by my parents saying ‘you can’t just be friends’

[ursulaincorporated]

Working on a “it’s getting better but better doesn’t always feel better” fic for Two Birds, which basically is the “two steps forward, one step back” kind of idea and I just… like love platonic relationships??? Especially when there’s a third party romance involved??? And they just accept it?

Obviously in Two Birds, Baghs and Cellbit are codependent on each other post-Purgatory. You see this a lot in Dying on the Inside specifically. Phil mentions that they are hardly ever without the other. Platonic cuddling my beloved, you know? I love the ‘literal sleeping together’ tag.

Because I decided to forgo the Doied plot line (mainly because I know nothing about it and it makes no sense in context), we have Roier and he’s just like “Yeah, my husband’s soulmate. She lives with us and sleeps in our bed most nights. She’s pretty chill.”

I kinda just love that for them. I love the just… found family of it. Cellbit and Roier are married. They are in love. They kiss sometimes. They hold hands when they feel like it. Guapoduo is everything. But there’s something so refreshing of just accepting that the trauma made them codependent and being fine with it? I love them. I love this AU.

[spideysbruh]

chicago

a/n I MISSED MAKING THESEEE

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y/n 💕

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tchalamet forever and ever

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y/n and always

shawnyn god WHEN

wonkaswhore if they ever break up I'll kms

tchalamet just posted a story!

~~~

@ceoofynandtim tweeted- it's kinda been a while since they posted each other huh... im scared. I MISS THIS ERAAA

@teddyyn replied- DONT EVEN THINK THATTT

@girlyyn replied- am I the only one thinking they're engaged? 🤭

@aliveyn replied to @girlyyn- but why aren't they posting each other at all!??!?!? it's v unlike them...

~~

@celebnews just tweeted- BREAKING ‼️‼️Timothée Chalamet and Y/n L/n have broken up. Verified by a close source, the pair have split after four years together.

@phasesyn replied- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO💔💔💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭

@wonkaswhore replied- love is dead.

@nightlyyn replied- no one touch me. my parents just got divorced

@ynxpaul replied- the way they spoke about each other... jesus how did this happen. never saw two people more in love.

@ronxyn replied- so we're all just believing this ?😭😭

@girlyyn replied- well. no reason to live now tbh

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y/n if it's real, then can you show me?

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pepperyn omg. that song.

yourfriend you're too gorgeous

rachelzegler MY PRETTY BEST FRIEND

sabrinacarpenter my shirt looks good on you

biyn LESBIANS !?!?!

dystopiayn girl they are friends 😩💀 sab has a bf!

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y/n trying to get in my horror era

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rachelzegler the horrors persist but so do we!!

y/n I love you

ynscurtains you're already a scream queen !!

harryynpot im literally a child of divorce omg

modernyn Timothée fumbled omg

chalsyn they both fumbled 💀💀

@celebnews just tweeted- Y/n L/n in a recent interview talking about her split from Timothée Chalamet: "We had a few months before the whole world knew, so I got to kind of heal and process everything in private without people looking at and analyzing my every move. Breakups are rough no matter what, whether or not you're public about it. There are days that feel worse than others, and.. it is because I really, truly, thought i was forever done with that whole dating portion of my life."

replies have been turned off

@tchalametupdates just tweeted- Timothée seen recently greeting fans! When asked about his and Y/ns breakup he responded with, "Some things you just have to get through by yourself. I'm glad that you're all sending me love and support, but I'll be okay!"

@timschal replied- CRYINGGG 😭😭

@laurieslaurence replied- bro he seemed so sad 😭😭

@ynsstan replied to @laurieslaurence- well he broke up with her so idk why he's so hurt 🙄

@steelyn replied to @ynsstan- omg didn't know that you were part of their relationship too... dumbass

@ynxtimmy replied- I still think they're soulmates like they're gonna get back together watch !!!

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y/n took myself out for valentines day this year. it was actually quite romantic

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sabrinacarpenter beautiful girl

liked by y/n

rachelzegler we should've gone together

y/n next year 🤭

timmytimstan MAKE HIM REGRET IT

ynscurtains you're literally a timmy acc hello ? 😭😭

ynsheadphones kms cause their valentine posts were so cute

ynsshoes FRR their captions were always the cutest 😭😭💕

y/n just posted a story!

caption- single girl era 💕💕

@ynupdates just tweeted- While promoting her newest movie, Y/n was asked about Timothée, she expressed how she still has love for Timothée and doesn't hold anything against him. "He was the best person I've ever had the pleasure to love. I hold no negativity in my heart for him. Truly, I wish him nothing but the best forever and ever." She also went on to say that an Oscar win is definitely in his future.

@paulsyn replied- maybe they just need some time apart 💔💔💔💔

@lonesomeyn replied- 'forever and ever' KILL ME NOW

@ynscurtains replied- THEYRE SO NICE ABOUT EACH OTHER PLS LET THEM BE TOGETHERRRR

@ringsyn replied- I hope they stay friends 😭😭

~~~

*3 Years Later*

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y/n and when im back in chicago 🎶

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timmyyn remember when timmy and her would go to chicago like once a month 😭😭💔💔💔

vampireyn girl let it go

ynsheadphones UHHH TIMMY LIKED !?!?!?!?!!?????

coolyn BITCH I AM UPPP OMGGG

happilyyn do NOT get my hopes up omg

rachelzegler no invite ??

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@celebnews just tweeted- BREAKING ‼️ Timothée Chalamet and Y/n L/n were recently seen getting close with one another in Chicago. Apparently they were trying to remain unnoticed when someone asked for a photo.

@horroryn replied- GOD IS REALLLL

@chappellyn replied- THEY LOOK SO CUTEEEE MY LOWKEY PARENTSSS

@timmytimstan replied- bro I've been waiting for this news omg 😭😭

@rhodeyn replied- they're like justin and hailey 2.0 omgg

@laurieslaurence replied- the way they're literally matching. they used to coordinate their outfits alll the time and they're doing it again 😭😭🫶🫶🫶🫶💕

@cutesyn replied- THE WAY SHES SITTING ON HIS LAP OH MY GODDD IM SO SINGLE

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y/n me when

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ynslipgloss ARE THOSE NOT TIMOTHÉES FEET 😭😭😭

tchalamet I wish I could like this 200 times

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sabrinacarpenter pretty girl !!

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blankyn I bet timmy took these pics

ynsheadphones HIS COMMENT OH MY GODDD

florencepugh how are you so beautiful

y/n no way you're asking ME that 😭😭😭🫶

airyyn can yall just hard launch already 😩😭😭

y/n okay!

airyyn HELLO!??!!

slyyn WE'RE SO BACK

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- falling... falling... fell

@celebnews just tweeted- Timothée Chalamet spoke about him and Y/n L/n for the first time in three years, in a recent interview. "I'll never forgive myself for being away from her for that long. She is the most exceptional, divine person I have ever known. Being without her, while I did learn and mature a lot, was torture."

@bookyn replied- how I like my men

@timmyandynstan replied- they had to be apart to come back together 😭😭😭💔💔

@halfbloodyn replied- i cant wait for all the content we'll get of them 😭😭🩷💕

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y/n please please please!!!!!

comments have been limited

tchalamet my beautiful girl

tchalamet who needs an oscar when i have you

sabrinacarpenter felt

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tchalamet Je t'aime de toute mon âme

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y/n how are you so perfect

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timmysgf ugh I thought we were free of her

huffleyn stfu 🖕 fuck off!!!

sabsyn DONT EMBARASS HER, MOTHERFUCKER

floralyn 😭😭😭💀

paulsdunes he didn't even embarass her the first time 🙄

sabsyn omg just play along, it's a song lyric

y/n my darling boy

tieyn remember when they broke up and she was saying how she thought she was done dating and now look 😭😭 back together FOR GOOD THIS TIME

wallowsyn MY PARENTS ARE BACKK

*

[ram-bam-writes]

Wisdom Teeth [Jake Seresin x NB Reader]

A/N: Per my parents recounting, when I got my wisdom teeth removed a few days ago, I cried in my bed because they couldn’t get paramount to play on my tv in my room. I wanted to see Glen Powell so badly that my parents had to dig around to find a charger for my computer so they could put it on… Twenty minutes later I have my laptop flat on my face while humming along to the soundtrack as the TGM plays… Ehehe :>

Summary: Jake’s partner gets all four wisdom teeth removed… Chaos ensues…  Based on personal experiences and made up ones. You guess which are which :>

CW: Wisdom teeth extraction, mentions of medical fears, mentions of blood, reader is suffering, Jake is being a little shit, hurt/comfort, no beta we die like goose, etc [The first part is the actual incident, which goes over fears and hinted past medical trauma, but the rest is lovely (irritating) banter between Jake and his lover. Blue will be everything to do with the angst if you wanna skip past it]

Word Count: 3206

“Honey…” Jake purrs, gently patting your arm in the middle of the waiting room. “Take a breath.”

It’d been several grueling minutes of staring at the clock on the pale wall of the oral surgeon’s office, foot tapping impatiently on the floor as you wait in fear for the extraction. You didn’t want your wisdom teeth out — you’d heard horror stories online. But they caused plenty of migraines and ear pain, and you absolutely needed them out when the bottom teeth grew in with cavities.

That, you decided, wasn’t fair to you at all.

But, alas, it pushed you to get them out. And the dentists advised to get all four out at once, since the top ones were also impacted. So it only made sense to get it all done in one fast sweep.

“Honey.” Jake says a little more firmly, gently grasping your hands. You blink up at him, eyes widened. “Sorry…” “Talk to me, hun. What’s up? They’ve done this a thousand times.” He points at the office wall. “And this is where I got my teeth out. You’re gonna be okay. They’re amazing.” As you tap your feet on the floor, you try not to think of the story your older brother had told you. He’d gotten his ripped out in the Navy, and they had him on not enough local anesthetics and, unfortunately, felt them ripping out his teeth one by one. Your biggest fear became feeling the pain or waking up in the middle of the surgery. 

“I know, I know…” Your hand squeezes his. You didn’t want to be afraid, but you’d woken up before, and your brother certainly didn’t help. He’d tried to — that’s why he told you his story. He was trying to express that he only went through that because, well, Navy. You wouldn’t deal with it. But that didn’t help.

“I’ll be right here every step of the way…” He promises, offering a reassuring smile.

The door besides the office opens, a blond haired dental assistant leaning out of it. “Seresin?”

You inhale shakily, standing up. Your partner quickly follows you, ushering you inside. They both get you situated into the white room, a set of crazy equipment set up in the middle of the room. The dental assistant sits you in a chair, then proceeds to hook you up to an EKG.

“Mmm…” Jake lets out a low purr as your shirt is lifted to attach the stickers. “You look good…”

As much as you want to glare or blush, your nerves take over. The EKG begins to read your heart beat, following the pulses and patterns effortlessly. But that sound…

Warmth blooms on your thigh as Jake runs a hand across your skin. His green eyes swirl with concern, smiling weakly at you. “Breathe.”

After signing a few too many agreements to acknowledge that you’re aware that tons of shit can go wrong in the healing process and that it won’t be the dental office’s fault, you’re situated more comfortably in the chair.

More comfortably? Maybe less so, given they escort your partner out all too quickly. Jake gives you one last kiss to the forehead, just between your brows, and slips out of the room reluctantly. 

The actual oral surgeon walks into the room, his smile friendly. He begins to talk to you about what you do. School, work, both? As you answer each question, he sets up the IV, admittedly a little rough on your right arm. He apologizes, unable to get the IV set up properly, resulting in him going to the left arm. 

As you attempt to keep your wits about yourself, the room swirls around you. “It’s… fine… I’ve had it in my-my hand once…”

When you attempt to explain the story of your hand IV incident, several pairs of hands begin touching your body. One around your neck, two around your legs, and two on each arm. Something is pressed against your nose, something choking your throat. The EKG is loud as it beeps, signaling your tachycardic state.

So you thrash. You thrash and thrash — they wanted to hurt you. With wild eyes, you frantically search around the room for anyone you can recognize, but it’s just several masked medical personnel. It isn’t until the oral surgeon pulls down his blue mask that you see a slightly familiar face, finally easing your breathing.

“That’s it…” The oral surgeon praises. “You passed out on us for a second… but it’s okay… you’re doing fine… you’re okay now…”

“I’m-I’m sor-so-sorry…” Tears slip down your cheeks as the oral surgeon rubs your arm to ease your mind. You can feel the soft hands of a sweet, younger dental assistant running through your hair, smiling gently down at you behind her mask.

“Don’t be… you’re doing just fine. We’re gonna give you the anesthetics, and it’ll be over before you know it…”

A sob shakes your body. “Please don’t let me wake up.”

“I won’t let you. It’ll be the best nap of your life…”

———

“The denshist was sho cute…”

A soft laugh resonates around you, but you can’t quite make out where you’re at or who you’re with.

“Yeah?”

“Yeash... the denshist was shuper cute…”

“Okay, hun..."

"Sho cute."

"Hun."

———

“Javy, can you help me bring them in the house?”

You knew that name. You knew that voice! People!

“That’s my boyfrieeeend!” You suddenly shout, leaning against Javy, incapable of standing on your own. You beam a bloody smile at the blond pilot standing across you, his arms held out in case you tumble. “That’s myyyyy boyfriend!”

“Jayyyy thasss my boyfrienddd!”

“I know.”

“My boyfrieeeend!”

“Y-yes!” Javy holds you tight, attempting to not drop you while he cackles.

“Boyfriend!”

———

You blink up at your boyfriend in a daze, Jake’s sweet smile staring down at you. He hands you a black table bell, one you had gotten him a few months prior. It reads: “If you hear this bell, bring me a beer.”

“Here, hun. Ring this when you need something from Javy, okay?” He pats your head lovingly. “I need to pick up your meds from the Pharmacy.”

He should have known better. Objectively, he should have known. You’re drugged! How can you not ring the bell seventy-million times in a row the moment you’re handed it?

“Hun.” A bright grin spreads across his face, his laugh warm as it swirls around you. “Don’t make me take it away, darlin’.”

The ringing stops. 

“Thank you.” He kisses your forehead as you set the bell next to your bed, eyes glimmering as you stare at the oh-so-tempting piece of metal. 

———

There’s a warm glow from the curtains as the sun slowly lowers behind the horizon line. Wind blows from the open window, the breeze comforting against your cold, sore body. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think it was a normal morning after a good night with your partner.

And then the pain strikes. A thin set of lines in the four corners of your jaw are stinging. Jake, always a master of knowing your pain, rounds the corner to the open bedroom door.

“Ow…” You groan out, gauze stuffed in your cheeks. “Why…”

His calloused hands reach out and caress your neck. He doesn’t dare to touch your jaw, not in your current state. That’s a recipe for disaster he isn’t keen on making, actually. “Take it easy… you’re still pretty high on narcotics…”

“Ugh…” For some reason, your whole body aches something bad. It’s like you got hit by a truck. “Drugs…”

“Yes,” he laughs sweetly at you as he helps you sit up properly. “Yes, drugs. Good ones, too. Red caps, orange bottles. Good stuff.”

“Opioids…”

“Don’t talk much… the clots are still healing.” Jake gently wipes at the corner of your mouth with a wet cloth, removing the excess blood from your skin.

Is that why there’s so much gauze in your mouth?

“Let’s get you some new gauze, okay?” His strong arms help you stand upright as you lean most of your weight against him. An arm snakes around your waist, his lips pressing against the side of your head. “I’ve got ya…”

He leads you to the roomy kitchen, setting you onto the countertop. You instinctively spit out the gauze, something he laughs at. 

“Hun… unsanitary.” He earns himself a glare from you as he wanders to the sink. “I’ve got new gauze right here. Throw these ones in the trash, copy?”

“Floor.”

“Trash.”

“Floor.”

“Trash.“

“Floo-“He decides to interrupt you by pressing a rolled pad of gauze against your lips. Not hard, not at all. But enough to shut your drug-addled self up.

“Now bite down and quit bein’ a brat.”

You do as you’re told, mostly because your jaw is actually beginning to hurt from speaking so much. And when he hands you the good pills, the ones you know are gonna help fix most of those pains, you eagerly attempt to swallow them down with water.

“Babe-“ Jake inhales, immediately bursting out into laughter when the pill dissolves on your tongue, your mouth not quite working properly.

When your face twists in disgust as you try to swallow the dissolving pill, your partner’s fingers quickly grab the pill. He holds it in his palm, saving you from the horrendous taste. Down the length of your chin and neck is a long stream of wetness, none of the water that you had taken a sip of making it down the inside of your throat. 

“Alright, messy little thing, let’s try that again, hm?” He hands you a fresh pill this time, hand manually tilting your head back. “Once more, baby…”

———

Food.

You crave food.

Sustenance.

A soft knock echos on the door to your shared bedroom, Jake stepping inside with a paper bag. “I’ve got food!”

The speed at which you sit up is concurrent with the pure hunger your body feels. Jake can only laugh when your eyes, large and focused, stare at the bag of food, your nose working to figure out what food he has for you. Jake sits down on the bed next to you, gently pulling out small round containers of food. One large one, one small one.

“Doc says you can have mashed potatoes and gr-“ Maybe he should have expected you to snatch the container eagerly, drool slipping past your lips.

You were finally allowed to take out the bloody gauze pads, the clots beginning to heal. Not enough to eat normal foods again, but fuck if these potatoes didn’t smell like heaven.

“Just go slow, darlin’.” Jake helps pour the gravy into the mashed potato container and hands you a spoon. “Don’t want you poppin’ a stitch just yet.”

As you eagerly scoop up the first bite of savory mashed potatoes, you run into your first problem. 

You can’t open your mouth wide enough. To fit. The spoon.

The spoon clatters against your teeth, and Jake silently thanks the gods it was just a plastic spoon. And when you pout, letting out a strangled whine, he laughs so sweetly as he cups your jaw. 

“Struggling to fit that, darlin’?” He teases, eyes twinkling with mischief. “Here, let’s get you somethin’… smaller.”

He digs around the paper bag, this time pulling out a plastic fork. After scooping up some room-temperature mashed potatoes, he gently feeds it through the small gap between your jaws that you can manage. 

“Fuck…” You groan, the taste on your tongue pure bliss. Had mashed potatoes always tasted this good?

Jake laughs at your sounds. The way your eyes flutter and weakened smile forms has his heart thrumming right out of his chest. You’re his baby, and he loves every second of it.

“That’s it, hun. There’s plenty more where that came from.” He feeds you another spoonful. “Nice and easy. Swallow all of it, darlin’. No spitting.”

… Did he really just…?

You deadpan your lover, a bit of mashed taters still coating your lips which slightly dulls the intended effect.

Oh, the laugh he lets out is a boisterous one. Grabbing you a tissue and gently wiping your lips, he offers a cheeky smile. “Can’t help it darlin’. This is who you chose.”

“You’re so lucky you’re spoon feeding me.”

“Fork feeding.”

———

Day two of the recovery period goes a bit better. Since the mashed potatoes yesterday, you’ve been able to have really really mashed egg salad, cold ramen with cut up noodles, more mashed potatoes, and even room-temperature tofu. With the opioids you’re on, you can’t quite get the average hunger cues, which is probably in your best interest given the nutrients you’ve been living off of consist only of mashed potatoes, yogurt, and chicken broth.

Javy has come to visit, since Jake had a few errands to run and was never gonna let you stay by yourself. You’d known Javy probably longer than you knew Jake. He’s a close friend of yours, especially given that he’s the reason you and Jake got together. 

“Javy…” You whine out, leaning dramatically on his lap. “Will you please get me more food…? Jake’s killing me!”

The man in question pats your head, his eyes never leaving the TV in front of him. “Nope. Jake has you on the diet you need to be on.”

If it weren’t for him being your friend, you’d have smacked him a lot harder. But maybe, just maybe, you could complain long enough and get some pancakes out of him. The sweetness of syrup and carbs sounds so damn appealing that your stomach growls in need.

“I can’t take it anymore! Please! I just want pancakes!”

“Sorry, love.” Javy points over to the bowl of yogurt on the coffee table. “Not yet. You can have pancakes on day four.”

“Did he leave you a list?” “Of course he left me a list.” Javy offers you his phone, seeing the frantic, detailed texts from your partner. “Several.”

As mad as you want to be, your heart warms with how much your boyfriend does to keep you healthy and well. Without him, you’d probably have already popped several stitches.

“Oh, and, out of curiosity.” Javy tilts his head to look down at you, gently placing the bag of frozen corn on your cheek once more. “Do you remember anything about the oral surgeon?”

You blink.

“What?”

Javy grins. “The dentist that took out your teeth. Do you remember anything about him?”

“Um… he calmed me down when I freaked out.” You wrack your brain trying to think of anything else. “But… not really.”

“How cute is he?”

“WHAT?” You wince from the sudden shout, your stitches not very happy with you. “How-how what is he?”

Javy’s smirk turns into a full blown grin, his laugh echoing in the small living room. “You don’t remember? You wouldn’t shut up on the drive home how cute the dentist was! I think you told Jake like, eight times in ten minutes!”

Your cheeks burn, eyes wide as you swallow thickly. Had you really? 

“Jake was having a blast. You were so head over heels for the dentist you actually cried when we left. And then, as if the dentist never existed, the moment I pulled you out of Jake’s truck, you refused to shut up about him being your boyfriend.”

He pats your head affectionately. “You were hanging off of me and makin’ grabby hands at him. I’d never seen Jake so in love.”

Javy laughs when you hide your face with your hands, whining with embarrassment at the story.

“And that’s before the photo incident.”

“The w h a t?”

Maybe you shouldn’t ask.

“The photo incident, darlin’.” Jake’s voice carries across the room, shutting the screen door behind him with several bags in his hand. “I came back from the Pharmacy that day to find you layin’ flat on yer back with a photo of me n’ rooster stuck on yer face. Javy say’s you cried when I left, but a photo sufficed.”

He sets down the bags in the kitchen, leaning against the door to the living room with a lazy grin. “You okay there, sugartits?”

“No!” You hide your face once again. 

“Oh, don’t be that way.” Javy waves his hands. “Jakey here cried himself sick when he got his teeth out because his cat walked away to go eat.”

It’s your partner’s turn to becomes flustered, his golden cheeks tinting red. Jake points at his best friend, eyes narrowed. “To the grave. That was. To the grave.”

Your hands quickly fly up to press against your mouth, less to suppress you hysterical giggles and more to keep your mouth from stretching too much. Javy stands and gently moves you aside on the couch, grinning all to mischievously. 

“That’s my cue to leave-“ Javy gives the two of you finger guns, walking towards the door. “I’ll have the missus bring some shakes over later tonight, ‘kay?”

You sight, flopping back down onto the couch.

“Pancakes?”

Jake’s lips press right up against your forehead, his tone loving and affectionate. “No, little chipmunk.”

“I’m not that swollen!”

———

With day three rolling around all too slowly, Jake takes the time to cuddle you endlessly on the couch. He did his morning run, workout, and shower routine early, wanting to give you as much attention for the day as he can. 

While you pain is bearable, every few words you’d speak would be met with a sudden jolt of pain to your gums, right where the stitches had been. 

Thankfully, you had Jake to nuzzle into, his breathing light and easy as random movies play on the TV. His hands stroke your scalp, lovingly giving your waist squeezes every now and again. He’d gotten pretty good at recognizing your pain cues, especially the sudden sharp ones.

“Need some ice cream, hun?” Jake begins to sit up, but you tug him down.

“Mac. And. Cheese.”

He blinks. “W-what?”

“Macaroni. And cheese.”

“It’s… It’s not even ten…” 

Instead of responding, you let your eyes bore into his, the intensity and need for Mac and cheese shining through. 

“You’re like pregnant lady…” Jake shakes his head with a laugh, standing up and walking to the pantry. “You want the weirdest things…”

You flop against the couch once more when you hear the box of dried macaroni rattle in his hands, happy hums slipping past your lips. 

And then you hear it.

Crunch.

Your body immediately perks up, eyes narrowing in on the culprit and the crime. “What are you eating?”

“Chips.” Jake makes a show of shoving a large tortilla chip in his mouth, crunching on it loudly. “Wan’ some?”

You could punch the motherfucker for that.

He smirks as you stand up and round the kitchen counter. “Aw, wait, I just ‘membered…”

“You asshat!” You shout, giving him a good shove as you take the box of pasta out of his hands. “Go eat your chips in the garage.”

“Hun-“

“Nope! You’re being exiled! Exiled.” Jake laughs as you swat at him, raising his arms in mock defense. “Go! Get!”

This is gonna be one hell of a long, annoying, irritating recovery.

And you’re gonna hate love every second of it.

A/N pt2: Lemme know if you want another part as time goes along with my healing and how I imagine Jakey would deal with it as time goes on :>

[aestheticpearl]

— 𝐩𝐨𝐯

✧·˚ elias shows you his tattoos

your fingers are gentle as you trace over the healed ink on elias’ warm bare skin, it’s enough to make his heart skip a beat or two. elias watches as your focused eyes are glued to his chest, scanning over his large chest piece.

“did it hurt?” you ask softly, eyes still glued to the intricate details of the piece.

“definitely one of my more painful tattoos, when they did my sternum it felt like my whole body was vibrating.” he says, his hands playing with the hem of your shirt and soon finding their place on your hips.

elias loved when you sat on his lap, you always seemed so comfortable there, like it was where you belonged.

“did you use numbing cream?”

“nah i powered through it like a champ.”

“something tells me you most certainly did not take it like a champ.” you laugh and elias pinches your sides playfully.

“hey tattoos are painful!”

"right right i'm sorry, you're very brave for enduring the pain." a silence falls on both of you as you continue tracing the healed ink on his chest. "you know i've thought of getting a tattoo before all this happened and i have to say, i'm definitely getting one after this is all over."

elias smiles and thinks your words over for a moment, 'after all this is over.'

"i don't know if i ever apologized properly to you," your hand stills on his chest as you lock eyes with him. "i'm sorry i dragged you into all this and that you have to live your life from inside this safe house."

"i appreciate the apology, but i don't think its necessary. you saved my life elias, if you didn't 'drag me into all this' i would be dead. so i think i'll be okay living in this house with you for a little longer." your hand brushes a stray hair from his face and you place a small kiss on his cheek.

elias turns to meet your eyes and he can’t help be notice how lovingly you look at him, like he’s hung every star in the sky. he’s only seen this kind of look once; with his parents, but then he remembers how that ended. he quickly looks down at his hands and tries to redirect the conversation again to a different tattoo.

“i think this one was the least painful.” he clears his throat and holds his forearm up a bit to show you the ink he is speaking of and you once again trace over the lines of it gently to really take in the artistry of the fine lines.

“i like the thin lines of this one, it makes it look like a finished sketch.”

“yeah i like the thin lines too.” he looks at you again unintentionally. he can’t help how naturally he’s drawn to you.��

“would you come with me to get my first tattoo?” a soft smile paints your features after you ask elias the question.

“yeah i would love that.” he matches your happy expression. “i can hold your hand if it gets to be too much, i mean only if you want me to—”

“i would love that.” you take his hand in yours and give him that look again and elias can feel his face grow hot at the close proximity.

your free hand trails over elias’ chest tattoo once more and elias feels himself leaning back on instinct as you lean in closer. your eyes flicker to his parted lips only for a moment before they return to his eyes. you feel his heart rate speed up at your action and you can’t help but let out a soft chuckle.

“do you want me to kiss you elias?”

his heart beat is now thundering in his ears and he nods faster than he means to.

your lips connect as soon as his head stills and he’s eyes flutter shut. he feels like a teenage boy who just got his first kiss even though he knows this isn’t his first kiss with you nor the last. something about the whole scene felt so intimate, the tattoo tracing, close proximity, everything.

elias’ hand finds its way to your cheek and traces your jawline down to your neck all while he deepens the kiss.

“you know” elias says in between kisses. “i was thinking maybe we could…” you pull away to let him finish talking, a string of saliva connects the both of you before you quickly wipe it away with a giggle, elias smiles and clears his throat before sitting up.

“maybe we could get matching tattoos together, only if you’d want to of course! i just though cause we’re gonna be bonded for life no matter what so why not have something physical that ties us to each other.”

“i would love that, let’s get little stars on a the side of our wrists!”

“you been thinking about this?” elias asks as you snuggle into his side on the couch.

“maybe. i’ve always liked that idea of small simple matching tattoos.”

.love always <3 pearl

.masterlist

[tmntxthings]

Can i please hsc or oneshot angst for raph (2018)

∑一Change・゜・。

author’s notes: O.o angst you say? I saw this tiktok and the sound made me so sad!! SO INSPIRATION!

warnings: hurt / no comfort, angst, short, drabble, unedited

—————————————————————————

Raph thought, that as long as he tried his best, things would work out.

It seemed simple enough. And in most cases, his best got things done. When it came to his family, he was able to keep his brothers out of trouble for the most part. He was able to provide for them. To distract them from the many problems that surrounded their home as well as stepping up when Dad couldn’t.

It got easier with time. And Dad healed, he became a parent again. Raph didn’t have the same responsibilities that he felt only he could shoulder. But still, it was hard to change those habits. Always feeling the need to carry the burdens. To be the one to fix things.

Communication is always key. Raph learned the hard way that bottling up his emotions only led to having a huge blow up later on. So he did his best when it came to his relationship with you. He didn’t want to be the reason things fell apart between the two of you.

So he did his best.

But as he watched you turn to leave, without even trying to talk to him about what was wrong. He didn’t know what to think. It had to be him. Something had to be wrong with him.

“Y/n!”

He called out to you. But you only shook your head and continued walking further away.

So he went after you. “Can’t we talk about this?” He called after you. His snaggletooth digging into his lower lip nervously as you continued to ignore him.

Slipping past your form before you could reach the ladder that led to the manhole cover. His body a blockade though it wasn’t his intentions to force you to stay. He just wanted to talk to you!

“Please,” he pleaded. “Just tell me what I have to do.” His hand went out, reaching for your own. He couldn’t help himself but try to find any sense of comfort in this moment. He liked your touch. You were warm. You had always been a safe place for him. For his feelings. Even if you were angry with him. “Tell me what I need to change, and Raph will change.”

It would be just that easy for him. He would do anything you wanted. He could be different. Whatever you didn’t like he’d change it. Whatever it was that he did to upset you, he’d make sure it wouldn’t happen again.

“…Raph” you said in a solemn tone, tugging your hand away from his hold.

His heart broke. He didn’t reach for you again. But he went down on his knees before you. Making himself smaller. He needed to be smaller.

“No no, Y/n! You make me happy, we make each other happy!” Raph said with absolute certainty. But as your face met his, it was the epitome of hopelessness. “Don’t we?” He cried out in despair. Not understanding. Needing you to spell it out for him. He wasn’t smart enough to figure it out on his own. He wasn’t like Donnie. He wasn’t like Leo.

“I thought-“ your voice broke, the back of your hand going up to cover it as you held back a sudden sob. It was all Raph could do to stay still. To not instantly scoop you into his arms and hold you close. To calm you down and tell you that everything would be okay. He’d fix it. But he stayed in his place as you recovered yourself.

“I thought this could work. When we were young and stupid, but Raph… I’m human and you’re..” the hand covering your mouth went down as it gestured towards Raph’s form. Mutant. Was the word that went unsaid. He was other. He wasn’t human. But he hadn’t thought… you hadn’t seemed to mind…

In those quiet moments where it was just you and him. When you would lean closer than friends would get. How you would constantly text him.

“I just don’t think it’ll work Raph. It was nice to pretend. It was nice to dream. But I’ve got to be realistic. I can’t spend my life down here.”

In the sewers. In the shadows. Raph didn’t want that for you either. Maybe he had been too selfish. For ever thinking that the happiness the two of you shared was something that couldn’t be broken. He had thought his bond with you was so strong.

Slowly, Raph got up from his knees. He shuffled away from the ladder. “Oh,” was all he could say in response. He felt… how did he feel? It was hard to describe. But you didn’t hesitate to linger. You started to climb.

It seemed like this wasn’t something he could fix. He looked down at his hands. Big rough maws. Green. Not to mention the claws. Nothing like a humans. Nothing like yours. His hand closed into a fist as the manhole cover closed overhead.

He was disappointed. That was what he felt. Crazily enough, it was because he couldn’t change for you. Even though he desperately wanted to.

[dreamwritersworld]

falling. (miles mórales x reader)

there will be a part 2 to this and I’m going to post outgrown part 2 soon I just fixed this up quickly to keep you guys in touch! 💓 enjoy and ily!!!

They were two teenagers in love. At first it was just a childhood crush…until they realized what they had was real, and special.

*memory*

“Y/n!! Get up!”

An exhausted Y/n laid on the wooden floors of the apartment out of breath from playing tag running around the sofa back and forth.

“give…me…a minute.”

“I’m gonna use my super powers to revive you!”

7 year old miles gently attempted to pick up the 6 year old Y/n old for both of them to stumble in each others arms leaving them a giggling mess.

*

The future for Miles became true, he had super powers and he was Spider-Man. In this universe Y/n was his spider-women even with all the powers she had…she trusted and gave that boy all of her heart. When you’re in a relationship like their’s you don’t need to constantly look over your shoulder to see who’s there. Miles made her the happiest and he was so deeply in love.

*memories*

“Miles! Ok open your eyes !”

Y/n had Miles seated on his chair while she walked forward standing between his legs with a Spider-Man plushy she knitted and box of his favorite snacks

“What! No way! This is awesome! Thank you babe.”

He hugged her tight, picking her up to lay them onto the bed..all followed by both their muffled laughter.

“Miles!..movie?”

Oh..he would say yes to Y/n a thousand times if it kept her happy. The two relaxed with the plushy in hand and snacks in their mouth. Giggling and joking around about the movie for the rest of the night.

*

The deeper Miles got involved with Gwen and all her antics…the more Miles took Y/n’s heart for granted. Y/n could see it but all she did was allow her tears to blur her vision.

Tears fell before they could be healed..Dates every week become unfinished…conversations became short..Y/n now had to look over her shoulder..

It had been another night Miles had forgotten about their date and it left Y/n to walk in the rain letting her tears fall with them…this was it. She was going to have the conversation she dreaded. Her eyes were red and swollen from the pain she let slip away. Those soft hands were worn out from rubbing them against each other for warmth and comfort.

Y/n’s breathing hitched and her hand couldn’t bear to knock on his family’s door. For the first time, Y/n no longer felt comfortable to just speak to him…she was scared if any of her thoughts had any truth to them. After a couple of minutes thinking Y/n settled on texting him to open the apartment door so that they could speak, she figured it’d be better than either one of his parents seeing her a mess.

“…y/n? What? What are you doing? What’s going on?”

His girlfriend took a quick glance thankful the apartment was empty and she took Miles hand; walking him to his room.

“Want to know what I was doing? I was standing in the rain waiting for you. Miles, this isn’t the first time you’ve forgot about our plans.”

Y/n tried to keep her voice low and her tears away but it was impossible not when she was looking at those brown eyes…and then suddenly her eyes caught the attention of his phone lighting up, she walked right up to it clicking on it…reading the messages…with both miles and her saved as his lock-screen

Gwen: why’d you hang up on face time?

Gwen: I was hoping we’d talk longer about our plans tomorrow.

“Y/n stop. Don’t touch my phone. I don’t know why you’re getting so upset. I’m sorry ok? But we always have dates, we don’t need them 24/7.”

It didn’t hurt that he brushed off his apology…it was the fact that he implied she simply wanted too much, but was it really? Miles loved dates, he was the one who planned their date today and he left her in the rain. Again.

“You love her..don’t you? Your favorite thing to do is dates…but your favorite person isn’t me..not anymore.”

“Right now? Yea maybe she is my favorite. When did you get so…so insecure? You were never like this.”

Immediately Miles put a hand over his mouth…he let his thoughts run farther than they should’ve and Y/n let out a cry.

In that moment she knew she couldn’t stay, not when it was more clear to her that he had fallen out of love with her.

“Forget what i said! It’s not what I meant!”

“Miles…please. I’m losing myself because I can’t lose you, I’m trying so hard. I’m putting you on a pedestal and I just can’t do it anymore- miles we’re done.”

There was no point in arguing anymore…what more was there to discuss?

“No, no Y/n. You don’t mean it. Take it back, you’re just mad right now.”

“I won’t Miles. I love you ok? I love you but I will not continue to lose myself in you. This has gone on way to long and I will not stand by and watch you leave me just because you’re growing feelings for someone who doesn’t even belong here.”

Hearing that made Miles infuriated and delirious. He let Y/n walk out the door, what hurt most was that Y/n knew he heard everything…

her tears..

her heart rate..

her breaths..

her slipping away..

and there was nothing he could do about it.

!💞!

Tag list: @justleila @tati-the-fangirl @kxllanxtdoor @abbersreads @abislays123 @not-aya @usernamepasswordsstuff @moralesluvrr @inluvwithneteyam @twinkletwinklenotastar @ilystarz @vodoo-heart @papichulo120627 @mashiromochi

[gmwsuperfan5467890]

911 Season 8 Wishlist

-Eddie has to come out immediately. It’s gone on long enough, let this man out of the closet. I think he’s gay and demi but I’m not too fussed on what label he is given in the show, we know that he definitely isn’t straight.

-Since Tim Tam is unfortunately still confirmed to be dating Buck, I want them to have a messy breakup. Trolley is acting like an ass constantly. For example, when Buck vents to him about Gerrard, Temu says, “You’ll just have to deal with it” or “Get used to it like I did” which enrages Buck. Everything Tablecloth does enrages Buck, from the way he chews his food, to him constantly calling him Evan. Eventually Buck has had enough and just goes off on Tic Tac and when Tetris says, “But Evan..” Buck will scream, “Stop calling me Evan! My name is Buck.” Then Buck dumps him.

-Contrast all of temu’s sins with Eddie being just who Buck needs for the full rom-com effect and boom we have buddie canon. Let me just say, if they’re making buddie canon, this has to be the season to do it because they’re not on Fox anymore and this not a shortened transitional season like season 7.

-Hen, Karen,Maddie,Chimney, Eddie,Bobby,Athena and Josh all hate Tommy.

-Chris and Eddie reconcile (of course) but I don’t necessarily want it to be a long process of Eddie having to earn Chris’ trust. I think that Chris will eventually understand why Eddie did what he did and realize that parents aren’t infallible and can make really stupid mistakes that unintentionally hurt others especially since he is at the age where kids have that realization about their parents. This and Chris and Eddie having a heart-to-heart about their grief over Shannon will lead to Chris forgiving Eddie. I think that it’ll take time for their relationship to heal but they’ll be stronger than ever eventually.

-Hen and Athena go undercover and find out that Councilwoman Ortiz is responsible for a lot of corrupt cases in the government and that she was the one who got Gerrard reinstated as Captain of the 118. Hen and Athena expose her and she and Gerrard both get fired. This allows Bobby to get reinstated as Captain of the 118 at the end of the 3 part premiere.

-Continuing off of the last point, Mara goes back to Hen and Karen at the end of the three part premiere and their adoption gets approved. After Mara adjusts, I’m hoping we’ll get to see her be more comfortable in the Wilson household and not get uprooted again.

-According to the preview, Madney are apparently considering having adding to their family. I think it’ll be interesting if they choose to adopt because I don’t think Maddie would want to go through another pregnancy or maybe they decide that they are happy as a family of three.

-More May, more Ravi and have more May and Ravi interactions. It’s a crime that they are not friends.

-Buck getting flustered over Eddie’s mustache and jealous Buck. I could see a scenario where Eddie starts going to queer events and making more queer friends. Eddie is chatting with one of his male friends and Buck mistakenly thinks they’re dating and gets really jealous.

-Bobby and Athena’s plots seem the most interesting to me, so I will be seated. I’m curious on who the person from Athena’s past will be, I’m going to throw my hat in the ring and say it’ll be her late fiancé’s mother?

[eiimeixi]

friend sent me an ss of a theory on the lc subreddit

(thank you prince<33)

so if that's the case.... if lu guang had hurt cheng xiaoshi's parents by accident and wanted to make up to them/to him by telling him or apologizing or something but time passed and he still wasn't able to say a word and before he knew it, he grew too attached to cheng xiaoshi and maybe he feared if he said he had something to do with his parents death then he'd hate lu guang, so he kept it secret from him.

but then cheng xiaoshi gets hurt, he get stabbed by-- lu guang??? or lu guang watched as cheng xiaoshi got stabbed? and all those mistakes he committed came crawling back ALONG WITH the guilt of being the one who killed cheng xiaoshi/watching cheng xiaoshi die and not being able to do anything about it

and so he goes insane, he breaks his rule of not messing with an important node and goes back in time to save cheng xiaoshi from dying

but.. he never truly heals from the trauma. he buries it all underneath MORE trauma and 😭😭😭

anyway, this brings me to my next thing:

i saw this video/clip on twitter where chibi cxs asks chibi lg if he (cxs) could also be considered as handsome and lg fucking GAGS😭😭

i read the replies and i saw this...

AND!! HM... WHAT IF, JUST WHAT IF.. .that part of him's because of how he never was able to heal from his trauma and acts immature around cheng xiaoshi sometimes (like sulking on the couch) because, with him, he still feels highschool.

IM SO SORYR.

[antitheticallyargumentative]

I’m going to attempt to explain why the ending of Ted Lasso re: Jamie and his dad, bothers me so much. I know a lot of other people have made posts about this, and excellent ones, too, but I also have a lot of thoughts. These are just my opinions. Feel free to disagree. Feel free to discuss with me why you disagree. I love respectful conversations.

 This is gonna be long. sorry guys.

tw/cw- James Tartt Sr., abuse, The Amsterdam Thing

not detailed, but they are mentioned. proceed with caution and take care of yourself, please. <3

It is not the decision to have Jamie reach out to his dad that I hate. It is not even the decision to put Jamie’s dad in rehab (though I do think it was… A Choice.) To me, it’s very unsurprising that Jamie would try to reach out to his dad. Not just because of who he is as a character, but because of what this kind of lifelong abuse does to a person’s psyche. A lot of kids who come from abusive or neglectful homes have an incredibly hard time cutting off their parents. Even if they’re scared of them, even if they’re angry with them, there is still a deeply ingrained need to be loved, that maybe this time it will be different. They’ll mean it when they say they’ve changed. They’ll love me. Going no contact is fucking hard. It’s also fucking dangerous. As much as Jamie says he’s done everything he has to spite his dad, there is a part of him that deeply, desperately craves James’s approval. Of course he would visit him in rehab, because, if he’s in rehab, he’s trying, right? And maybe this time it will be different. 

But it won’t be. Because James Tartt has a pattern. A pattern of playing super dad, presumably where he cleans up his act and “makes an effort” with Jamie. Does father-son things with him, talks to him outside of asking for game tickets or telling him he played like shit (I’m hypothesizing here), lulls him into a false sense of security. And then what happens? Well, things like Amsterdam happen. And I highly doubt that was the only time he pulled that act. He likely also pulled it when he first came back into Jamie’s life, and probably other times after Amsterdam, too. What he doesn’t do, ever, though, is apologize, or take accountability for his past actions. Because James is a narcissist. At least, that’s what I would say. He feeds off Jamie’s fame and success to make himself feel bigger, important, entitled. And narcissists lack empathy. They struggle to take responsibility for their actions. They’re also, commonly, very manipulative. 

James is not an abusive piece of shit because he’s an alcoholic. He is both an abusive piece of shit AND an alcoholic. Not only does acting like he was horrid because he was drunk perpetuate the stigma of substance use disorders, it also completely takes away accountability.  James going to rehab does not change what he did. It does not fix what he’s done. It does not mean that he is magically going to win father of the year because he got sober. More likely, he’s going to continue to the cycle. I truly do not see a way in which we get to the happy ending of the show. Which brings me to my final point. 

This is not a happy ending. Jamie going to see his dad does not fix things. Jamie forgiving his dad does not take away from his trauma. Jamie should not have to forgive his dad, not for James, not for himself, not for anyone. The thing that bothers me most is that the show plays this scene like it’s closure. Like everything is OK now, and they have a good relationship, there’s no fallout, no consequences, nothing left the heal. And I’m sorry, but that’s bullshit. 

The things our parents do and say to us cut deep, at least in my experience. It doesn’t matter if they apologize, it doesn’t matter if they learn and grow, it doesn’t matter if we forgive them. That hurt stays. It sticks. You remember it. You feel it. There is no way in hell that seeing his dad wouldn’t be incredibly difficult for Jamie�� just judging from what we’ve seen in the show. There’s no way it wouldn’t bring up all the trauma James has put him through, even repressed. It would not be easy. It would not be happy. And I don’t think it would be healthy. 

Whatever Jamie eventually decides to do regarding his relationship with his dad, whether its cutting him off or choosing to forgive him, which personally, I don’t think he should (but I also know that cutting off a parent is no easy feat), it would take time, it would take effort, it would be a struggle. It would take actually working through the years of abuse and trauma caused by his dad. And we don’t get any of that. We get “forgive <3” and problem solved! And honestly, I think that’s a dangerous message to be passing out. 

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. (Hehe, get it?) 

[yannaryartside]

ANALYSIS OF THE PORTRAYAL OF DEPRESSION THROUGH MICHAEL BEARZATTO

Why does this character mean so much to me as someone who was once suicidal

tw underneath: talks about self-arming/self-deprecating thoughts and substance abuse, particularly the last section that also will repeat the tw.

Disclaimer: This is about how I think Michael is one of the most helpful portrayals of depression I have seen and how I think it would have helped me, even though he died. The show is about healing from losing someone in this tragic way, but for me and my friends, the part that explores this character also means a lot.

A little about the importance of depiction of suicide and depression in media. You can skip this if it came from the character analysis; this is just to illustrate the characters that helped when I was going through it. See you at part 1.

When I was in my late teens, I entered a dark period in my life, with insomnia, depression, and memory lapses. It was primarily due to the emotional dread and trauma I got from having a narcissistic parent, being an autistic girl (not diagnosed back then), and the impending quarter-life crisis. I had no support group or emotional intelligence to deal with it all; I only got into therapy years before it all passed. That was until I met the girls that are, to this day, my two best friends, probably the only family I have ever known: V and E. V was going through a hardcore case of harassment in her school, and E had been neglected by her mother her whole life, only to definitely being abandoned by her recently at the time. We didn't know it by the time we met, but we would all hit the suicidal stages in our struggles with depression, even after we became friends.

We met in a Christian youth group we didn't want to be in. But in this space, we formed a friendship that will become our refuge from the world, our support, and the place to share our common interest in becoming writers. In the end, more than in the church we were attending, we found the courage to fight our demons in the pieces of fiction we were consuming. Because we could relate to those characters and their struggles. They seemed real to us. When I introduced them to the Bear last year, we discussed the things that the show got right when talking about Mickey.

Part 1: The portrayal of his loneliness

The inciting incident of the show is Michaeel's death. Still, there is a lot of discussion on how he was isolating himself long before that, and you could say the story of Carmy that we know today officially begins the day Michael cast him out of the restaurant. Which makes you think about why he did that.

Things that Michael was afraid of, that made him isolate himself:

For Carmy to see him act recklessly: now, we know Carmy saw Michael's explosive behavior before ("Fishes" and multiple family/staff anecdotes), but maybe he was starting to be afraid of not controlling his reactions or being aware of them. Was he having memory lapses? Was he afraid of losing his temper and hurting Carmy? The drugs could have dragged him to the point of not even recognizing himself.

Was Michael afraid of not being able to carry on the dream they had as kids? Was he buying on the idea that he was a failure and would never amount to anything good?

In addition to the previous reasons, I think Carmy's admiration was what he was the most afraid to lose. Most people have speculated that Carmy and Michael have an age difference of 10-12 years, and their father abandoned them, so Michael was the closest thing Carmy ever had to a father. This is one of the reasons Carmy idolized Miachel so much. Michael cannot even give Carmy a concrete answer in 'Fishes' about the restaurant's future and has emotional breakdowns afterward at the thought of disappointing him. It is even implied (by Richies look when Michael wraps himself in the blanket), that after that conversation, Michael may have consumed drugs. His behavior also becomes more erratic after this moment, losing track of stories he has told before and erupting in violence at the dinner table.

Part 2: The portrayal of hiding

Disclaimer: I can only speak of this thinking of my own family and the families of my friends who were depressed/suicidal like me.

Michael was already doing everything he could to hide his addiction, but I think Carmy was afraid of seeing the signs. Understandably so. People already mentioned that Michael was using, but Carmy never believed them. He was not thinking of Michael as his brother but as his parent. Because Michael was the only "parent" he could emotionally rely on. We can all have clouded vision by fear. Particularly if we are struggling and deeply emotionally wounded. There is no mention of someone else doing anything about it. Even his best friend, Richie, never confronted Michael about his addiction. Michael was the pillar of emotional security to everyone around him. They may even be afraid that confronting him will make things worse. God, after seeing "Fishes," I kinda understood why Michael didn't bring up anything to that environment; not only was everyone fucked up in their own way, but as Carmy said it "When you don't know what are you feeling, asking somebody else how they are feeling seems insane." I wonder how much Michael cared about his own feelings. That is something messed up to say, but is also true.

Part 3: The portrayal of Michael's responsibility.

Thoughts on the "what could have you done" scene. tw of suicidal thoughts particularly apply here.

I love that , when Richie said

"I wish I had done more," Carmy instantly replies 'What could you have done?"

It is essential to talk about suicide prevention while also understanding that nobody has control over your life or your life except yourself. A whole team of supporting, emotionally intelligent people may not have been enough to save Michael. The family is the environment when other genetic factors built it up, but nobody else pulled the trigger.

It is not like people cared more about their happiness than Michael's life; that is never the case. They all wanted to see, but no one is responsible for Mickey's death except himself. The thoughts of "what could I have done" to help him will just prolong a guilt that has no solution. When I was suicidal, I wouldn't have blamed anybody. There were people involved in my unhappiness, even aggressors, but I was the one who would have given up. Even Carmy tried to blame people for Michael’s death, Nat even blamed the restaurant.

I knew it was my responsibility to seek help or not. Finding ways to help my friends was difficult even if I knew them well and their situations. It is difficult to talk about, even if you want help. When my mom found out, years after the worst of it had passed, she would swear that she didn't see signs, but that is such a complicated topic. In the end, my friends and I just kept going. We all want to be the heroes of our own stories, but depending on the stories we tell ourselves, we may end our own chance to fight for ourselves.

Saying "they were afraid to see," is not the same as assigning blame, and I am sure the show will come to a point of having this conversation. It is probable that people tried to help Mickey or that he sought help himself at some point; it is very difficult to actually comprehend suicidal thoughts, more so if the person struggling with them is someone you love. Most of the people surrounding Mickey never would have imagined that he would die the way he did. Probably because that is the way Michael wanted it, even if he also wanted help, even if he dreamed about someone noticing. Because I dreamed of people noticing.

Part 4: The importance of a mirror

In the end, maybe he was more afraid of being found (ashamed, lost) than how much he wanted to be found (saved). He may have thought that all of his desperation/demons were more powerful than him. I once thought similarly, so I can relate to it. Adding the element of addiction makes it all more difficult. The show is about people dealing with the lost of Mickey, but this character made me revise a part of myself that I once wanted to keep in the past, afraid of looking at that darkness, which will prevent me from healing from it, even if the desperate thoughts that once made me suicidal are lone gone. Moreover I think Storer has chosen to show us so much flashbacks of Michael so we also can see the elements that broke him, in the context of knowing his tragic ending.

We get to know of much he meant to people, how much he shaped Carmy for better or worse. I was particularly touched by the fact that even when Nat found love in Pete and Carmy found purpose in cooking, Michael was likely never able to find fulfillment, or worse, if he ever found things that made him happy, he left them behind to keep the restaurant out of family responsibility, he may have thought that was the only thing valuable about himself.

We don’t know what things pushed him to the edge, but we know, as people that value the lives of our loved ones, that those things were based on lies, the lies he had learned about himself. The show made an effort of showing us those lies, the “you are not worth anything” and “you have no future” statements, the implied abuse, the addiction, the beliefs that all those lies could overpower him. We can see the good person that was hidden under that pile shit. The love he felt, the dreams he had. We get to imagine the future he could have.

We know, has people that have dreams of their own, that can feel love for this fictional character and can relate to him in some way, or just out of simple empathy, we wanted him to live too.

That is the most helpful way to depict suicide/depression, at least is the type of portrayal that has helped me the most. Don’t paint over it with thoughts and prayers, let me see it, in someone else struggling with it, I can see clues of the lies I once believed too, let me put myself in the shoes of this person that may be as broken as I am, and because I see the good and value in him, I can start to see the value and good of myself that my depression was forcing me to ignore.

I don’t know how a person that is currently going through depression will think of Mickey, but I think it at least will validate the things that break us in the context of what came to break him. Even if he died, because we wanted him to live, it may give us courage to fight our own demos.

About the future of Carmy.

There is abuse, addiction, emotional neglect, and many other things that caused the trauma they all carry in different ways, but since Carmy is probably gonna struggle with depression, self-deprecating, and even suicidal thoughts next season, I wonder if the characters are gonna reflect more on the ways they can support him, instead of latching to their damaging ways of thinking, that have hurt them all. This show is about healing, so I am happy to think Carmy will find solace in his support system.

Edit: I edited this post, changing actually the whole approach, because I wanted to choose my words carefully, maybe provide other writers on why characters like this are important. Thank you for reading.

[iamnotawomanimagod]

it's been years since my family has been in the same room at the same time. since before the pandemic.

and I just found out my sisters can't show up on the same day this year for the holidays

peeved at one of them. she spends literally every holiday with her in-laws. I guess her husband's mom really freaks out if they don't show. part of me is like... send your husband there, come see *your* family for once? but I doubt that suggestion would go over well. my suggestions to that sister rarely do.

the other one is showing up on actual Christmas Day with her son, and I feel like that's the day we should all aim for. but it sounds like this was all decided without me, so.

trying not to be super bummed. my only option to see my entire family is to make two visits in one week. not impossible, but a bit hard on me.

can't believe I'm about to cry over this, lmao. I guess I got my hopes up in a way I hadn't before. stupid of me. should never have assumed my sister might actually disappoint her in-laws over her blood.

oh well. I guess I'll go see my mom at some point. and just forget I have sisters. I've been trying to be in contact with them more since my sister got out of jail, but. feels like I'm making a lot of effort and they aren't. and now one of them doesn't even care to try to show up on the day the rest of us will. and if I know her, she's going to flake on my mom anyway and not show up at all.

we've got baggage, more than most families. but if we never get together, we'll never heal from that. maybe my sister just doesn't want to heal from it? Idk.

I'm honestly on the verge of just saying "fuck it" and not doing holidays, ever again. every time I get my hopes up about them, something stupid happens to fuck it up. I just wish they didn't exist.

and with my mom's health, I really feel like my family will never be in the same room at the same time again. we are running out of chances. Christmas Day is pretty much the one day off everyone gets. my sister spends SO much time with her in-laws. neither of those parents have chronic, terminal illnesses they will eventually die from. why can't she just show up? just once?

I should just give up. I hate how much this hurts.

[tictac-murder-spaghetti]

Mother Stands for Comfort - Lifetime Achievement Award Oneshot #1

As part of my effort to uh, actually post here again, there’s that Strychnine backstory piece I said I was writing forever ago! Finally finished it :D

Go little lab boy go

Content Warnings: Minor whump, lab whump, verbal and mental abuse child abuse, dehumanization gore, implied character death

Story under the cut!

She hadn’t run a test all day. #07 kept expecting it, for her to ask him to climb back onto the exam table, to ask him to stretch out his arms for more shots or lay down so she could cut back open his still healing vivisection scars, take another look at the black goo that filled him where organs should have been- but she didn’t. The closest thing she’d done was ask him to pull off his thin hospital shirt for a moment so she could change the bandages wrapped around his torso. Beyond that she’d… left him alone. He wasn’t used to it, but it was nice.

She’d stayed elsewhere in the lab all day, back turned to him as she cleaned tools and mixed chemicals, only stopping once to get him lunch without speaking to him at all.

It was almost peaceful.

#07 didn’t have the best track of time, but it was late by the time Belladonna finally came back to him, playing house with a couple random glass vials he’d found.

"Now #07, sweetie, I need to talk to you. You're merely a rough draft, you've served your purpose and it's time for us to move forward in my innovation. You've got a brilliant mind and an even better heart, and those parts would serve the project well, so I'm going to... repurpose you."

#07 gave his mother a confused look, his yellow eyes wide, "What does that mean Belladonna?"

"Now, don't be scared #07, you're merely a step on the road to perfection. While you're not the one, you will help me towards him. It will only hurt a little bit. Now go get ready, please, sweetie, go get yourself up on the exam table now."

"Okay Belladonna."

#07 turned and made his way towards the metal exam table, the straps on it used to hold him down countless times while he'd laid patiently as a scalpel drove through his chest or she poked him with syringes full of glowing substances that he'd have no way of knowing what they contained. He was always good. He was always perfect, why wasn't he perfect now? He stopped in front of the table, back still turned to her as he looked down at his gloves. He was a child, yes, but he wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t unaware. He’d put up with Belladonna’s procedures for years- his entire life, and it was finally starting to click. This wasn’t how a parent was supposed to treat their child. She’d talk about him sometimes, the one he was created to make up for, and she’d never treated him like this. He got to go to the park, see the sun and get ice cream, he got to read the books that Belladonna had only read to him once or twice whenever he wanted, he got a name.

“I- I don’t want to do that.”

“What did you say, #07? Get on the table.”

There was a threatening tone to her voice, one he was all too familiar with.

“You’re going to hurt me.”

“Not more than is needed. This is all just procedure-”

He cut her off, turning around to face her. His gloves were unbuckled.

“You’re gonna hurt me and I’m going to disappear.”

“Don’t be silly #07, it’s not like I can continue with you. You’re not my son. You’re broken. You are not human. So yes, you’ll go away, dear #07, but the next one may be the one to make it.”

“You hurt me-”

“#07, stop this! I don’t need your guilt trip, gods, maybe it was better that the previous ones couldn’t talk. Get on the table or I will force you onto it!”

#07 just gave her one more pleading look before he peeled the gloves off of his hands, black goo already running from his palms and sizzling as it hit the tiled floor. He ran at her, grabbing her left hand tightly in his own, feeling flesh peel away under his grasp. Dr. Belladonna screamed, trying to shake his grip as her own red blood mingled with the black acid running across her hands.

“YOU LITTLE MONSTER! I SHOULD HAVE SCRAPPED YOU THE FIRST DAY- WHEN YOU CAME OUT LIKE THIS!”

She attempted to toss him off again, but he kept his grip, feeling bone as his grip just tightened. She grabbed him at the hips, lifting him up quite aggressively and slamming the small boy down onto the metal table, making a desperate grab for the leather restraints that perfectly fit #07’s small size. He didn’t stop struggling from underneath her, crying as he desperately grabbed at the front of her labcoat.

She screamed again as a hand went straight through the fabric of her coat, searing directly into the flesh right near her collarbones. He kicked out wildly with both legs, causing Dr. Belladonna to recoil, #07 scrabbling to sit up and stare at Dr. Belladonna with wild eyes. He barely knew what he was doing, driven purely by panic and desperation and rage.

He launched himself at her, both mother and son hitting the hard marble floor as she tumbled backwards from his bodyweight. The noise when her head hit the floor was a horrible, dull thunk, but he could barely hear it over his own scream. He straddled her waist as he kept clawing at her, Dr Belladonna raising her arms to try and protect her face. Her struggles grew weaker as he continued, tears streaming down his face and breathing ragged until the rage subsided and the horror flooded back in.

He tried to stand, to back away from her, but he couldn’t, collapsing to the ground not far from her body and attempting to reign in his breathing.

He couldn't tell the difference between what was her blood and what was the acid dripping from his own hands. She just lay prone in a growing puddle of black, #07 himself kneeling on the slick ground, hands pressed to the cold tile floor. His hands, up to the wrist, were covered in a thin dark sheen, the same that coated his mother’s arm and saturated her lab coat as she lay there, unmoving. He couldn't tell if she was breathing.

"Belladonna?” No no, doctor, she’d be mad, she’d want him calling her doctor.

#07 crawled on his hands and knees, ignoring the wet squelching of the goo underneath him as he went to kneel beside her. Tears streamed down his face, dark as the acid that dripped from his hands as he raised a hand to gently brush a strand of her hair out of her face and touch her cheek in the foolish hope that it'd wake her up. Instead, the young boy recoiled as his hand went straight through flesh, more blood pooling around his fingers as her skin peeled away under his touch, skittering backwards in the puddle, smearing blood and gore across the floor as he did so.

"Doctor-" his sobs took away the rest of that sentence before he could even get it out. He pulled his knees towards his chest, curling into as small of a ball as possible as his hands still dripped, staining the knees of his shorts black. His hair fell across his face as his chest heaved with panicked breaths, he'd- he'd... his creator was lying there- he'd done it- she'd tried to. He was eight. He was eight years old and he could barely process what had happened. What he'd done. What she'd tried to do. #07 fell to his side, not caring about the slick floor under him or the way the gore splashed across his face and hair as he did so. He closed his eyes. He cried himself to sleep.

When #07 awoke, it was still dark. She still lay in the puddle. His hands still dripped an inky black as he spotted his discarded gloves a couple feet away, pushed aside by the scuffle. The boy got to his feet, slowly, as he grabbed the gloves and put them back on, securing every buckle, every latch and strap, just like Belladonna had done the day she put them on, telling him it was for his own safety. He was still covered in gore. He didn't need to look at himself to know that. He could feel the way it clung to his clothes, to his bare skin, the smell of bleach and burnt flesh overpowering all else. He didn’t know what to do. Where to go. He was a construct built to obey his creator and he had killed her.

There wasn’t anything for him to grab, anything to remember the place he’d spent the first 8 years of his life before he trudged towards the heavy metal door of the lab.

He had no clue how the door mechanisms worked, and while he was probably smart enough to figure them out, he was tired. He just- he wanted to be done.

#07 peeled one of his gloves off again, pressing his still bloody palm to the metal until it started to bubble away- the door creaking open once he’d demolished the lock.

The boy trudged through the door, nearly tripping and winding back up on his knees as soon as he stepped foot onto cold dirt. Real dirt, not cold marble tile, and there was a real sky, dark and cloudy but not shining through layers of reinforced skylight glass. Part of it made his heart- the only real part of him, ache. But it was beautiful.

And now, he could be a part of it.

[shojo]

Spellbound: Movie Review

Spoilers for the movie Spellbound ahead. I got things to say.

People seem to really hate this movie and.. idk it was charming and super imaginative. It's not perfect by any means but it wasn't terrible at all. The imagery and the music were by far the best parts and wow wouldn't ya know it Alan Menken composed it no wonder it's catchy as hell.

But I'm here to talk about the divorce. (I warned you about spoilers.)

I've heard reviewers saying that the happy ending of the parents separating wasn't happy. That they should have stayed together for the sake of Ellian. They should have stayed married, continue to hate each other, continue to be unhappy, just for the sake of the kingdom and their kid. Bullshit.

Divorce sucks at any age for the kid(s) involved and it sucks for the parents too but these parents realize they don't love each other anymore and they make the decision to separate before things get even worse (worse than being turned into literal monsters). Ellian is obviously upset but would you rather them continue to live in their misery? The fact that they divorced on positive terms IS the happy ending.

Maybe I'd still be talking to my father if my parents talked things out and separated cordially. How dare any reviewer/critic say that their separation isn't warranted or justified. I wish that would have been my ending. I wish everyday they would have remained friends if not partners. Of course I wish they were still together but people change and hearts change. The fact that they still can come together for Ellian's birthday party and be there for their daughter is something I wish for every single goddamn day. That is something I will never get and to see that genuinely happy ending be portrayed in a "kids" animated film certainly helps to heal my broken heart and maybe it'll help other kids too.

The line Ellian sings about her not knowing that when her parents fell out of love that they'd fall out of love for her too hurt. It hurt like hell. But her parents still love her and that's what matters most.

I really don't care if people like this movie or not, I'm not here to defend Lasseter or Skydance, but I swear if I hear anyone complain that the movie's ending isn't a happy one I will lose my marbles.

Ellian gets her parents back. It's not going to be like it was before. And that's okay. Her parents still love her. There's a lot of children of divorced parents, like me, who can't say the same.

[hashimasims]

Hypnos: It's good that you've been able to see your friends from before all this, even if it has been limited. Have you been able to keep in touch with them besides? I know I tried calling you before coming many times but it always went to voicemail.

Elucea: Yeah, I got a new number but I didn't want to cancel the old one just yet. I have my old phone turned off though. Kanaloa, though centuries old, is far too tech savvy for my liking. Maybe it has something to do with his military career. The girls and I . . . well Paka'a isn't a girl but they're one of the girls you know. *laughs* We text and email just about everyday but taking care of all these animals and crops just monopolizes all my time and I'm just so tired ALL THE TIME even with help.

Hypnos: Being pregnant I hear is a very tiring endeavor and you adding on ALL THIS isn't really helping that. I can give you something to help you get better sleep if you'd like.

Elucea: No, that's OK. It's strange, but I like feeling tired at the end of a long day, I feel like I accomplished something. I can honestly say that being out here, doing what I do now, nothing really bothers me anymore. I haven't really gotten into my own head at all, I don't think about the past really and it doesn't seem to bother me that much. There's been a few nights so full of nightmares I couldn't sleep, but those have all but gone. And I don't . . . I remember them mentioning something about me being like them - a Goddess? - but I don't feel like one. If anything I feel like I've been acting like a petulant child throwing a tantrum with this hiding out, or like Abs, all woe is me and hiding from his problems or bitching until he got his way. Something else I would like to avoid more of. But I can't . . . I don't . . . . I mean, I do miss them and I don't want to do this parenting thing alone, but I can. It'll be hard but I just want to give my kids the best life I can and keep as much negativity away from them as possible.

Hypnos: You can't protect them forever. They are going to have to deal with some hard things as they grow up.

Elucea: I know that but I will take control of all the things that I CAN. If that means keeping Absalom and Kanaloa away to keep my home peaceful then so be it.

Hypnos: I want a few more sessions with you, if that's alright? For the most part you seem to have a level head even after all the trauma you've been through, and maybe this farm is exactly the step you needed to take to heal. It hurt them when you left but they just want to know you're OK. They want you to let them in and they want to be in your life. Together. I know to you the Bond doesn't feel like it's changed at all since you left, but maybe that's because it doesn't have to. Maybe they've been OK since then. I know what you heard, and I can see how that can make you feel, so I can't MAKE you change your mind and I don't want to, you need to make that decision yourself. You being on your own for this time really has seemed to be doing wonders for your healing and mental well being, and from the way they spoke of you I was expecting to find a small, shattered thing, not the woman that's before me today. I can tell you that you can talk to them without them getting your location, through the Bond, if you really want to get in contact with them. With it, you can Dream Walk to them and have a conversation. I can show you.

Elucea: Are you sure they wont find me?

Hypnos: Yes. Let's get you to sleep and then I can walk you through how to make the connection.

Beginning|Previous|Next

[specialagentlokitty]

Daryl x reader - take on the world together

Part 6:

Following Daryl up to the watch tower, you sat down inside while he stood by the door leading to the platform.

“The boy?” He asked.

“Human if that’s what you’re wondering, it’s why I cover him in my jacket when we’re out, and keep him close.”

Daryl nodded.

“How did you really come across him?”

“I was looking for something to eat, it was the second week of the outbreak, I was in a small town looking for sick or injured stragglers left behind, the town had already been overrun by walkers.”

You sighed, and you pulled your knees into your chest, wrapping your arms around then.

“I couldn’t find anything, so I was getting ready to leave and I walked past this house, I heard crying coming from inside, so I walked inside. I walked to the basement door, two walkers were there, looking like they’d tried to get it over with before they were bitten, and they failed, turned anyways.”

Daryl glanced at you before looking out past the prison.

“I crushed their skulls, and I broke open the door, and downstairs was the little boy, huddled in the corner crying his eyes out, he’d hurt his leg trying to reach a window to climb out of. I’d never been one for humanity, but I couldn’t leave him there like that, so I brought him with me.”

You sighed.

“Turns out the walkers I killed was his parents, they wanted this little boy to survive on his own, they left him all alone. I wasn’t going to do that, so I packed a bag with food, and some of his stuff, took a couple of hunting knives and got the hell out of dodge.”

“How’d you know the walkers didn’t like you?”

“Well, you got all these dead things eating living things but none of them coming after me? That’s pretty concrete evidence you know?”

He scoffed, shaking his head.

“Why did the wounds close so quick?”

“Small wounds heal in seconds, larger ones would be minutes but without a good died I’d be looking at weeks, months even. As long as it doesn’t destroy my heart or brain I’ll always heal.”

He slowly nodded his head, sitting down in the doorway.

“What do you eat?”

“Same thing you guys do.”

He glared at you and you raised your hands.

“I’m telling the truth, I can eat anything you can providing I balance my diet. In order to be up to full strength, I need blood. We survive on human blood, but that doesn’t mean we need to kill in order to do it.”

“We? There’s more? Blood? You survive on fuckin’ blood and you expect me to just keep you around? Is that why you travel with the kid? A snack for later?!” He hissed.

You slammed your hand into the metal wall beside you, making it creek as you put a sizeable dent into it.

“Say that again I’ll take your heart out your chest…”

Daryl stared at you.

He just wanted to make sure everybody was going to be safe with you around, that spencer was safe around you.

Clearly you didn’t want to hurt Spencer, but he couldn’t be so sure about anybody else.

“I’m not going to feed on anybody, you guys have it tough as it is without being hunted down by more creatures. I go out, I find small wildlife, maybe a deer if there is one and I feed on them.”

“Why not feed in walkers, plenty of them running around.”

You scoffed a little shaking your head.

“I tried. I’d much rather drink a whole bottle of holy water than do that again, they taste like shit, like, you ever eaten rotten food? It’s basically the same. I’d have to eat before they turn, cause once they turn the disease or whatever it is destroys everything inside.”

Daryl thought about his next question for a moment.

“Can you tell if someone’s infected?”

You nodded.

“All humans are, I don’t know what it is, but since the outbreak the smell of human changed ever so slightly. No matter how you die, if the brain isn’t destroyed you come back, illness, a wound, bitten.”

You went quiet for a moment.

“I can tell if people are infected, sick with a cold or something, same with animals, can tell if they’re sick.”

“The fuck are you?”

“The original walking undead, vampire. Got no heartbeat, no blood pumping inside me, no body temperature, as cold as a corpse, don’t succumb to human illness, or wounds, or age, better senses, speed, strength. Whatever a human would need to survive this shit, I have.”

He slowly nodded, and he grabbed one of his arrows, stabbing you in the shoulder and you grabbed hold of his wrist.

You bared your fangs at him, red eyes meeting his.

He pulled the arrow out and you raised your hand to your shoulder, pulling it back to look at the blood.

“Then why’re you bleedin’?”

You placed your hand over your shoulder, feeling it already starting to heal.

“Still got blood dumbass, still falls out when I get stabbed. My body still holds blood, any I uh.. let’s just say drink, it gets absorbed into my own body, becoming my own meaning I’ll still have blood, it’s what helps me heal.”

You moved your hand from your shoulder, looking at your blood before you looked back at him, red eyes boring into his own.

You pushed yourself up, squinting a little as sun got in your eyes and you stepped back into the shade.

“The fuck is your problem now?”

“These eyes, the sunlight, they don’t really mix all that well. But you stabbed me, so I don’t really feel like relaxing.”

“Shit, if I wanted to kill you I woulda already dumbass.”

You shrugged a little, crouching down and resting your arms on your knees as you looked at him.

He never dared to turn his back on you, he wasn’t stupid, so, he kept his back on the doorframe.

You kept away from him, not wanting to risk your own life because one wrong move would be all it takes for him to kill you no hesitation.

You saw his gaze fixed outside and you placed your hands on your knees, pushing yourself up.

“What is it?” You asked.

“They’re pushing the fence again.”

Daryl stepped outside and you followed him, hand just above you eyes as you scanned over the walkers.

“You got another trick for this shit?”

You walked around, checking the other fences.

“It’s the smell, all these humans in one area, warm bodies, still alive, that’s what’s bringing them here. You could leave a walkers along the fence, dead ones but that would bring a smell.”

You ran a hand through your hair, and you glanced at him.

“I might be able to scatter some of my own blood, but with that many of you guys in there I just don’t think it’ll work all that ways. I can put some on a few trees.”

“The fuckin’ good is that gonna do?”

“Confused some hopefully, any that come straggling will smell me first, think it’s me and hopefully stay away. I need to know what time the guard changes though, I can go out, but only when I know it’s safe to come and go.”

“You think that’s gonna make me trust you dead ass?”

You shook your head.

“No, but Spencer is here. He’s happy, I want him to be safe. He asked me to help, I’ll help.”

“If he asked you to kill us?”

“If he had a good reason to, then I would kill you without hesitation. I will kill anybody who dares to put him in harms way, don’t mistake this for kindness Daryl, it’s not safe anywhere, he needs food, he needs water, he needs a shelter. That’s all.”

“You really takin’ orders for a kid?” He scoffed.

You said nothing and he shrugged a little bit.

“Fine, do it. I’m on watch tonight.”

You nodded, and you quickly left the watch tower, jogging back up the path to the courtyard.

Jogging up to the gate, you waited for it to open and you looked around.

“He’s inside with my dad.”

You nodded at Carl and made your way inside.

Walking into the cell block, you tried to find the man, and you looked up to the second floor to see him walking out of your cell with Spencer in his arms.

You took the stairs two at a time, and you stopped in front of him.

“He went to sleep, I think he had a nightmare or something he won’t say.”

“Spence?” You asked softly.

You placed your hand on his shoulder, and he spun around, tears on his face.

“Hey buddy, what’s with the tears?”

“You’re okay!”

He flung himself into your arms and you laughed softly, holding him closely, running a hand up and down his back.

“Of course I’m okay, nothings gonna happen to me, alright?”

He sniffled a little bit and nodded his head, and you smiled a little at Rick.

“Thank you…”

He placed a hand on your shoulder, moving past you.

For the rest of the day Spencer stuck closely to your side, and you waited for him to fall asleep before leaving the cell.

Jumping over the gate, you made your way to the bottom of the watch tower where Daryl was waiting for you.

I’ll take out as many as I can while I’m out there, but I’ll focus on creating a diversion.”

He nodded his head, handing you your knife.

“Show me how you get in and out.”

You nodded, gesturing for him to follow you, the pair of you jogging down the path to where two fences meet.

Putting the knife in your belt, you climbed part way up the fence, then you jumped to the next one, jumping over the barbed wire and you landed on your feet.

“Well shit…” he whispered.

“Would be easier if I could break the wire but security and all that, go back to the tower, I’ll come up when I’m done.”

“One wrong move.” He warned.

“Yeah yeah you’ll kill me good and proper.”

“Damn straight.”

You turned around to begin your work.

With the cover of darkness you had the ability to used your full speed, strength, whatever you could in order to get everything done.

You killed walkers, disposed the bodies as far as you could, scattering your blood along street and the top of some of the fences so they couldn’t see it.

You did some hunting, killing a few small animals so you could eat to regain some of the energy you were using.

You also found some scrap metal and brought it over, using it to fill some of the gaps in the fences, crushing them together.

When you were finished you jumped back over the fence, running to the watchtower before climbing up.

Daryl was stood at the top waiting for you.

“I’ve done what I can for now, and covered a few small gaps in the fence.”

He nodded his head.

“They’re going to ask about it.”

“Not my issue, it’s safe, all I care about. What did you see out there?”

“Not much, a few walkers, couple of animals, too many trees to be able to see properly and I was too busy with other shit.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

You walked over to the outside of the watchtower, slowly looking around.

For a human it was dark, and they wouldn’t be able to see much but you could see a lot more, you could see a few walkers wondering away, some a little curious but not wanting to come to close.

“It seems to be working.”

“Looks like it, guess you earned your keep for a while.”

You both went quiet for a few minutes, despite your efforts a few walkers could still smell the others inside.

“I don’t think it’s going to last for long, I’ll have to keep going out every few nights to kill them.”

“Don’t know why you’re telling me.”

“You’re the only one that knows, I want to keep it that way, I’ll need to match my time outside with your watches.”

“Oh hell nah, not a fuckin’ chance.”

You turned around.

“Daryl remember our deal, anybody else finds out I’m gone, you’re on your own. I can get to places you can’t, move faster, and move among the walkers. You. Need. Me.”

He grabbed you by the shirt, holding you over the edge of the tower, your cold hand gripped his wrist.

“We don’t need shit from a bitch like you…” he snarled.

“I could easily throw you off this building and to them walkers… nobody would ever find your body…”

“They’ll throw you and the boy out…”

You sneered, loosening your grip on his wrist and you help up your hands.

“Doesn’t change the fact I need to work on your watches…”

Daryl turned you around and threw you inside the tower.

“Fine, I don’t give a shit. Just get the fuck away from me.”

“No problem jackass.”

You left the tower, slowly making your way back towards the cell block, trying to contain your anger

[theoceanoasis]

Original asker her just want to say thank you. I have been loving your writing so far.

Can we get Part 5 of Cyberverse Soundwave and Hot Rod getting stuck in the EarthSpark universe.

Hot Rod and Soundwave are on the run trying to find a good place to hide. After the events that happened with Hot Rod getting hurt and them getting separated, Soundwave decides now might be the perfect time to tell Hot Rod his feelings (Soundwave decides to admit his feelings but casually in conversation and plays music through his speakers to help get the message across)

Also maybe them running into the Malto kids/Terrans.

Thanks

"Where are we going to go?"

Hot Rod gave Soundwave a worried look. His still healing injuries slowing him down and causing pain. The two of them walked for what felt like forever. His entire body protested and he felt like passing out.

"Can we take a break for a moment?"

Soundwave turned to him looking worried and also distracted by something which he assumed was getting out of here.

He sat down on a nearby bolder feeling exhausted.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

He frowned because it was obvious something was wrong.

"What did you want to tell me before all of this happened?"

Hot Rod tried to distract him and the Deception looked away.

"It's not important. We should focus on getting out of here."

"Come on Soundwave please I almost died. You might not get another opportunity to tell me."

Soundwave tensed giving him a look which told him how much he didn't like that statement before sighing.

"I was going to tell you that I'm in love with you. Sometime during the invasion my feelings for you changed and before I knew it... I was in love."

Hot Rod smiled getting up to hug him. When he went limp in his arms. Quickly lowering him to the ground he looked down at him in concern.

"Hot Rod wake up. Please you need to wake up."

He called his name begging him to wake up as the Autobot laid there.

"Hot Rod! Please I can't lose you."

He checked him over and noticed his hands coming away with energon from where he'd been shot. The wound must have opened when they were escaping. He'd been so worried about confessing he hadn't even noticed.

He looked up leaning over Hot Rod protectively when he heard someone come closer. Only to be surprised when he saw a group of what looked to be Cybertronians although there was something off about them, along with more humans.

"Decepticon!"

The older human female shouted pushing her kids behind her.

"Not a Decepticon. We need help."

He looked down at Hot Rod. Hating how weak he sounded asking humans and sparklings for help. But he was desperate. Hot Rods vibrant paint was fading and he needed medical attention.

One of the sparklings crept closer. Gasping when she noticed the wound.

"He's been wounded."

"They need our help. Decepticon or not we should help them."

"Okay let's take them back home."

The older human female decided and he carefully scooped Hot Rod up. After putting a seal on his wound to stop the bleeding. Which one of the sparklings gave him.

He followed what he learned where Terrans back to their home. Which they apparently shared with humans who they considered his parents.

He laid Hot Rod down inside their barn and got to work on fixing him with the help of the older female, who he learned was named Dot and surprisingly knew Cybertronian medicine.