#tw implied sex abuse

[antitheticallyargumentative]

I’m going to attempt to explain why the ending of Ted Lasso re: Jamie and his dad, bothers me so much. I know a lot of other people have made posts about this, and excellent ones, too, but I also have a lot of thoughts. These are just my opinions. Feel free to disagree. Feel free to discuss with me why you disagree. I love respectful conversations.

 This is gonna be long. sorry guys.

tw/cw- James Tartt Sr., abuse, The Amsterdam Thing

not detailed, but they are mentioned. proceed with caution and take care of yourself, please. <3

It is not the decision to have Jamie reach out to his dad that I hate. It is not even the decision to put Jamie’s dad in rehab (though I do think it was… A Choice.) To me, it’s very unsurprising that Jamie would try to reach out to his dad. Not just because of who he is as a character, but because of what this kind of lifelong abuse does to a person’s psyche. A lot of kids who come from abusive or neglectful homes have an incredibly hard time cutting off their parents. Even if they’re scared of them, even if they’re angry with them, there is still a deeply ingrained need to be loved, that maybe this time it will be different. They’ll mean it when they say they’ve changed. They’ll love me. Going no contact is fucking hard. It’s also fucking dangerous. As much as Jamie says he’s done everything he has to spite his dad, there is a part of him that deeply, desperately craves James’s approval. Of course he would visit him in rehab, because, if he’s in rehab, he’s trying, right? And maybe this time it will be different. 

But it won’t be. Because James Tartt has a pattern. A pattern of playing super dad, presumably where he cleans up his act and “makes an effort” with Jamie. Does father-son things with him, talks to him outside of asking for game tickets or telling him he played like shit (I’m hypothesizing here), lulls him into a false sense of security. And then what happens? Well, things like Amsterdam happen. And I highly doubt that was the only time he pulled that act. He likely also pulled it when he first came back into Jamie’s life, and probably other times after Amsterdam, too. What he doesn’t do, ever, though, is apologize, or take accountability for his past actions. Because James is a narcissist. At least, that’s what I would say. He feeds off Jamie’s fame and success to make himself feel bigger, important, entitled. And narcissists lack empathy. They struggle to take responsibility for their actions. They’re also, commonly, very manipulative. 

James is not an abusive piece of shit because he’s an alcoholic. He is both an abusive piece of shit AND an alcoholic. Not only does acting like he was horrid because he was drunk perpetuate the stigma of substance use disorders, it also completely takes away accountability.  James going to rehab does not change what he did. It does not fix what he’s done. It does not mean that he is magically going to win father of the year because he got sober. More likely, he’s going to continue to the cycle. I truly do not see a way in which we get to the happy ending of the show. Which brings me to my final point. 

This is not a happy ending. Jamie going to see his dad does not fix things. Jamie forgiving his dad does not take away from his trauma. Jamie should not have to forgive his dad, not for James, not for himself, not for anyone. The thing that bothers me most is that the show plays this scene like it’s closure. Like everything is OK now, and they have a good relationship, there’s no fallout, no consequences, nothing left the heal. And I’m sorry, but that’s bullshit. 

The things our parents do and say to us cut deep, at least in my experience. It doesn’t matter if they apologize, it doesn’t matter if they learn and grow, it doesn’t matter if we forgive them. That hurt stays. It sticks. You remember it. You feel it. There is no way in hell that seeing his dad wouldn’t be incredibly difficult for Jamie— just judging from what we’ve seen in the show. There’s no way it wouldn’t bring up all the trauma James has put him through, even repressed. It would not be easy. It would not be happy. And I don’t think it would be healthy. 

Whatever Jamie eventually decides to do regarding his relationship with his dad, whether its cutting him off or choosing to forgive him, which personally, I don’t think he should (but I also know that cutting off a parent is no easy feat), it would take time, it would take effort, it would be a struggle. It would take actually working through the years of abuse and trauma caused by his dad. And we don’t get any of that. We get “forgive <3” and problem solved! And honestly, I think that’s a dangerous message to be passing out. 

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. (Hehe, get it?) 

[abrillustrated]

something that i really like about blue eye samurai, now that im thinking about it, is that it discusses violence against women without becoming torture porn. like, in a lot of media that portrays women's issues, they show you that scene. like they give you this extended visual of a woman experiencing something traumatic and then laud themselves as feminist for doing so.

blue eye samurai doesn't do that. the whole show is set in a world that is extremely antagonistic toward women, and it makes a point to tell you that being a woman right now sucks, because they are property and are used sexually. but even though it doesn't shy away from this, it doesn't show you the violence itself, which you would almost expect it to because of how graphic the rest of the show is.

im thinking specifically of kinuyo. they very well could have shown us a scene of her being abused, but they didn't. they didn't show the abuse itself, but they did show how it affected her. they showed her seeing a doctor for her sores. they could have made this incredibly traumatic and grotesque scene a spectacle, showing us exactly how powerless she is and how powerful he is. they could have shown us this incredibly triggering event in full detail for our entertainment, but they didn't. they chose not to. and i think that's how it should be.

it is not necessary to have an extended visual and auditory reenactment of violence against women. we the audience understood the gravity of the situation and were able to empathize without needing that scene. having that scene would have completely detracted from the point they are trying to make. it would have turned something completely reprehensible that women everywhere fear because it's a very real issue into entertainment.

[a-j-s-the-only]

Would you rather be alone in the woods with a man or a bear?

“a bear would stop at death”

“we aren’t choosing the bear because we’d think we’d survive.”

“I’d rather feed a bear and it’s cubs than feed a man’s sick fantasies”

“people would believe me when I told them I was attacked by a bear”

“people would stop the bear”

“if I survived a bear attack, people would call me a warrior, not a whore.”

“a bear wouldn’t come into my room again.”

“A bear would do it out of survival, not enjoyment.”

“I wouldn’t have to see the bear at family reunions”

“a bear wouldn’t rape you.”

“if it was a bear, who’s going to ask me what I was wearing?”

“bears live in the woods, not in your house.”

“I wouldn’t be told to forgive the bear.”

“a bear can kill her or leave her alone, and a man has that and a million other opportunities.”

-a collection of women, and men

[skunkes]

not so easy

[tornoleander]

Jay’s been through it

CW: Sexual assault Implications brief discussion of sexual predators + lotta swearing

(Please let me know if I missed any content warnings and Check if you are ok to hear this theory before reading. This type content has potential to help or hurt you depending on who you are as is the nature of problematic themes. Safety over curiosity.)

This is cannon compliment. Uhh kids show?! Yeah I know shouldn’t really have these themes but they’re there hear me out. Spoilers for season 6/8 I guess.

I’m bothered by this scene and how It connect to certain events so I’ll cautiously share

Sons of Garmadon Episode 7:

Here is the clip

Kelo asks “Where’s the green Ninja”

WHAT THE FUCK! Dude the double take I had when first watching this.

So he looked at Kelo’s… lower half and basically said ‘Cole shut up that man’s crotch is too close’. And not in Jay joking tone, he’s like dead serious and stressed. (The scene just cuts away after)

Jay you ok? Why is it implied some guy might have tried something?! Why else would he say that?! Who the FUCK touched my boi? What even is this scene?!

The fact it’s Jay that said it out of everyone is bad because it’s been implied to him before.

So let’s talk about the darkest Ninjago theory that’s been quietly circulating for a while in fan content. For simplicity I’ll call it captains quarters theory, If you’re unfamiliar I’ll explain.

Basically some speculation happened because of a certain villain that displayed subtle ongoing predatory behavior. And a part when Jay was his prisoner that caused people to worry what happened before the scene started.

As some of you have caught on It’s the scene where Cole rescues Jay from Misfortunes Keep.

He didn’t find Jay in his cell where he should have.

Cole found him beaten as ninjago has ever depicted except when literally dying.

Alone

no explanation given.

In the corner of Captains Quarters.

Nadakhan’s room.

Dude :(

And his concern afterwards.

And thinking he didn’t deserve saving.

“Thank you for trying to save me,-

It’s Just a lot.

Doing awful things to make Jay wish it all away is terrifyingly in Nadakhan’s character. Not just the sadistic torture part.

Nadakhan has many behaviors similar to a sexual predator. I’ll go over it briefly but see my last post for a detailed analysis.

He Seeks out vulnerable people for victims. The Ninja are teens and he waits till or makes them emotionally vulnerable. The way he talks about gifting his wishes and giving his victims anything they desire can be read as grooming behavior. His secrecy in getting all the ninja alone and doesn’t even talk to his crew about his plans. Manipulative and Controlling obviously.

And the most glaring issues he’s WAY tooo fucking touchy all the time. Like watch his body language during Skybound and see how uncomfortable it is

“Too slow junkyard boy”

Not to mention how explicitly he doesn’t care about consent….

And “If you don’t come willingly Nya, I will take you regardless” followed by a forced marriage.

Side note he doesn’t refers to Jay with his name and the things he calls him…uggh “What lies is our little canary whistling now, hmm?”

So… It’s cannon compliant that something was attempted or happened to Jay. Bruh wtf.

Well if you feel like you resonate with this or it may help there a few great fanworks that explore this I can recommend if interested. Mmm comfort angst.

(Note don’t bother anyone for enjoying Nadakhan as a character. It’s fiction and it hurts no one)

[faceless-is-a-mess]

DON'T TOUCH ME, DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, IT'S NOT FUNNY, IT'S NOT CONFIDENCE, IT'S JUST GROSS AND DISGUSTING, STOP FUCKING TOUCHING ME!!!!!

[a-j-s-the-only]

”Tell me about the party.”

I feel his hands on me

creeping, crawling

laughter downstairs, is it to me?

in a room full of people, I have never felt so alone

but I was never alone, and that is what I fear

I feel his hands on me

creeping crawling

[gor3sigil]

When i was 14/15 i was groomed by someone at my school who was around 19 and my parents let them sleep over at our house. They would drive me to the mall to hang out with them too. My mothers bf would constantly make jokes about us having sex and me running off to prostitute myself to older men. My “parents” were my number one enablers when it came to sexual abuse. I could go on forever about their mistreatment, jokes and overall piss poor behavior.

Enough rambling though, i wanted to share a part of my experience because ive never seen anyone else mention their parents enabling the abuse they went through in a similar situation to mine.

I hope you are taking good care of yourself.

I'm so, so sorry it happened to you. That's horrible. I'm slowly healing, it's hard but we do our best. I hope you are too.

I'll talk about my experience here, feel free to not read further if it might trigger you.

My then boyfriend used to say my age to his friends and they would find it weird for a 20yo to date a 16yo until they saw a picture of me. All of his friends were cis men. They saw pictures of me and went "oh yeah, figure, she's hot".

And because I had an early puberty, my family and the people who were close to my bf saw it as normal. That's pretty fucked up.

He even showed a pic of me to his DAD who said that he hsd "the same taste in women" HIM.

[cider-est]

If anyone here thinks George not found didnt sexually assault an 18 year old girl and that both parties are at fault I need you to block me right this instant

you disgust me

[halfbakedlicorice]

My Average Contradicting Morning

My inner thoughts

TW: Cursing

Me

TW: Suicidal mentions

Yay for once I’m not tired! Here comes the migraine Hey I got up early today! Go back to bed, everyone will think you’re fake sleeping if you get up now. Hey, I’m gonna work really, really hard today! You’re still only making three hundred bucks per month. I have spending money! It’s not even enough to rent the dorm, you’re still short a hundred from last month…But I tried really hard and that’s all that matters! No one cares, you’re not the only one in the rat race. I should see some friends! The same ones you flirted with because you like him and he doesn’t like you? No, my best friend! The one you cursed out because she said your problems were getting out of hand? I…uhm…maybe I should just go to the mall…You look like skin and bones, you anorexic fuck. Right, maybe I should stay home…You lazy idiot, do something with your life. I should see my therapist…The one who left you or the one who made you cry like a bitch two weeks ago? I should buy a rope…Good idea, but the store’s out of the medium thickness ones, it’ll either break or you’ll fall through the loop. I have some…The ceiling of the dorm won’t hold more than fifty pounds genius. W-Where’s the knife..? You forgot to sharpen it, you couldn’t break skin if you wanted to, you worthless little bitch. Then I’ll buy a sharpener…You can’t, the store only has the shitty ones that don’t work, not that you know the difference between “Course” and “Fine” anyway. I should see Daddy at the prison…The same one who raped you and made you like this? I’m gonna go see Mamá…The one who speaks Spanish but won’t teach you and still doesn’t even accept that you’re a faggot? I…I th-think I’m just gonna sleep…Good idea.

[iciatheguardess]

Icia opens her eyes, blinking uncomfortably to the bright light around her.

She groans a little, rubbing her back as she stretches out in the hardly padded chair. Compared to how she remembers falling asleep- in a large, cozy bed with a warm comforter, wrapped in Lance's arms- she feels as if she had been sleeping on rocks.

Icia stands, cracking her back with a wince and rubbing her eyes until she can properly see around..... the sight makes her blood run cold.

A hospital.

Icia feels her stomach churn and heart race until she glances down. The floor is clean and enough for her to vaguely see her reflection.... not a single piece of ice holding her to the ground. Not a single speck of frost sparkling on her socks.

Icia relaxes just slightly. This is a dream, thank goodness. She's still disturbed and afraid, anxious as always, and she's probably frozen both Lance and at least one of the cats to the bed, but at least this all is just a dream.

Balling her fists and closing her eyes, Icia tries to wake up. If she focuses enough, she'll wake up, and maybe she'll be able to break out of the ice and get the bed dried up before Lance wakes up...

A few seconds. Nothing. A minute. Nothing. A couple more minutes, and still nothing.

Why isn't this working? Icia thinks, lips pursing in frustration. I always wake up after a few seconds, a minute at most. Come on, come on, I have to.... to...

.... wait.... why am I even here?

Good question. Icia's dreams mostly- no, always took place in either a forest, clouds, a coastal city, a house, the Kingdom, or her favorite: anywhere with her loved ones. The bright, modern hospital was none of those, and Icia found herself alone in the hall that stretched so far it faded into a haze in both directions.

There are a couple chairs along the walls, open for equipment or rolling carts or doors. Icia notes that all the doors are blocked out with blinds, and more than likely locked...

Except for the closest door. The one next to the chair she woke up in. It's wide open, to... well, a hospital room. Nothing special. Icia peers inside.... the room is somewhat dimmer than the hall, a welcome sight for her slightly strained eyes. All she can see at the moment is the window ahead of her, blinds rolled up to show the tips of empty branches against the pitch black sky.

She steps inside and peers around the corner. The room is quite a bit bigger than she expected, or maybe that's because there's nothing in the room except a single empty bed and monitor. But someone stands out among the white, blank interior.

"Starro??"

He whips around, stumbling back and crashing into the monitor. It clangs against the wall, a stray wire getting caught around part of his leg, which prompts him to jerk it forward. Before Icia knows it, Starro is on the ground with the monitor on the ground next to him, and a wire around his leg.

"Ow.... I'm- I'm okay... fuck, that hurt more than I thought it would..." Starro groans, grabbing blindly until his hand catches the wire and he throws it off. Icia kneels down in front of him, helping him stand up.

"Are you sure you're not hurt?"

"Yeah, I'm sure... just didn't expect to see you here."

Icia starts to question this 'dream' of hers. Starro seems a bit too.... real. She notes that her senses aren't hazy as they are in normal dreams. He feels real. The cold ground feels real. Everything feels real..... too real.

"I didn't expect to be here."

"Yeah.... I don't know what's going on either. But this dream, it just... it's... different."

"It feels oddly similar to being transported to the kingdom by magic, in my opinion. It all feels uncomfortably real, but not all certain either..."

"Yeah. Kinda."

Icia looks her friend up and down... Starro doesn't meet her eye, rather looking at the bed to their side. His stars, all of them, are a deep, ocean blue... a vivid hue Icia's seldom seen. It causes her worry to grow once again.

"Where are we?" She asks.

"Hospital."

Icia internally curses herself for asking such an obvious question.

"... why are we here?"

Starro remains silent for, maybe 10 seconds at most. It feels more like 10 minutes.

".... I dunno."

His voice cracks, and he visibly swallows back a cry or sob. Icia reaches forward and takes his hand, causing him to glance back in her direction.

"Starro.... what's going on...?"

"... I don't know. You're never here before."

"Before? Is... this a dream of yours? Are... is this something recurring?"

"S-sometimes...." He looks down, sniffling and trembling.

Icia takes his other hand and leans down a bit to try and meet his eyes. She doesn't know what to ask, or what to say... so she stands in silence and waits for Starro to say something else, anything else.

Eventually, he looks up at the dim-ish ceiling light, shakily sighing. "God, where do I even start...?"

"Here, let's.. take a seat and talk. Hm?" Icia motions to the bed. It looks comfortable to sit down on, considering there're no seats in the room, but Starro sinks to the ground and hugs his knees tight. Alright, that works too, I suppose... She kneels down as well.

Starro stares down at the ground, clearly trying to figure out how to say this or even start. Icia waits patiently, hands no longer holding his and rather one on his shoulder. He always does seem to do better with physical affection.

"... yeah. This is my dream.....a memory."

"Are you comfortable saying what it is...? What usually happens...?"

He swallows again. "... it varies. But it's always in this room. Sometimes, there's someone in the bed. Sometimes I'm just... just folding sheets."

Icia nods a bit.

"..... I kind of wish you could remember this place too. You weren't here, though."

".... what exactly is that supposed to mean? Starro??"

Icia stares at him, perplexed and surprised. He looks back at her with tears streaking down his stars.

"......."

".... Starro.... please- tell me what's going on.... what do you mean I wasn't there?"

"You were missing."

"Missing...??? What do you mean?"

The hospital around them suddenly changes and morphs.... as if adding water to a painting, the colors and shapes twist and contort until the room has fully changed. It's.... a meeting room?

Icia suddenly stands, looking around anxiously. Definitely some kind of meeting room... and judging by the emblem on the wall, a police meeting room.

Starro notices the room as well, holding himself tighter. This place definitely holds some bad memories....

Before Icia can ask, she hears yelling from outside. Very loud, very muffled, very angry yelling. Starro squeezes his hands over his ears, he doesn't want to hear any more.

Icia walks to the door and presses her ear against it. Curses be to the twisted non-logic of the dream world, it doesn't help the clarity of the argument.... but she does manage to catch a few sentences.

"Mia, love, please...."

"DON'T YOU 'Mia, love' ME!!! --------.... ------- GOD WILL BRING HER HOME, SAFE AND SOUND!!!"

Icia freezes. The voices sound..... oddly familiar. But from where...?

...... are they.... talking about.... me?

She looks back at Starro, who's still shaking and trying his damndest to block out the yelling. But before she can get to him, a speck of blue on the table catches her eye.

She only has to scan the picture on the file for a second before she recognizes it. She recognizes the tan skin, the bandana, the blue-and-black hair and the scar under her left eye.

The girl from the mirror room.

Her.

The screaming fades into nothing more than a hollow ringing in Icia's ears as her stomach begins aching once again and adrenaline shoots up. Why is her picture on this file? What even is this place? What does Starro know?

She exhales shakily. She has to know.

".... Starro."

He doesn't say anything or move.

"Tell me why we're here."

"......"

She starts asking more questions.

"What do you mean I'm missing?"

"....."

"Who's yelling outside?"

"...."

"What do you know that I don't?"

"..."

".... who are you?"

".."

".... who am I?"

".... Vivian...."

Icia looks back at the folder, reaching out with a trembling hand. The picture slowly slides off as she opens the page....

Only to be met with yet another picture of the same girl. And a caption.

"Vivianna Lucia Marino"

Icia stares at the girl in the picture.... if her face wasn't as horror stricken as it is, she may have confused it for a reflection.

If.... this is me.... and.... does that mean..... I'm.... Vivianna? No.... that doesn't sound right....

Vivian? Am I Vivian?

*ding*

[MEMORIES STATUS: RESTORED.]

Icia's eyes widen as the realization kicks in and she snaps back. They're no longer in the meeting room, but rather, a house. Specifically, a small and homely kitchen. Starro stands up, confused about the new location.

"...... this was our home......" Icia whispers, lips curling into a tiny smile. She drags her hands over the wood counters and checkered towels draped over the oven handle. The overhead lights flicker slightly, although it's hardly noticeable among the fake candles illuminating each corner.

She recognizes this place from some of her dreams, dreams of cleaning and laughter, and delicious food....... but also dreams of yelling. Fighting. Screaming. A defensive feeling, almost like walking on eggshells, pools through Icia's whole system.

Her fingers brush against a metal picture frame on the counter, and she picks it up.... this picture has always been blurry before. But now, it's so clear.

A family photo, on a beach seemingly. The mother of the photo stands tall and proud, with piercing eyes and a short haircut, an older man behind her. His glasses are a bit crooked, and his smile is meek.

But who Icia notices the most are the two teenagers with their mother's arms around their shoulders: an older girl and a younger boy. The girl is undoubtedly Vivian, given the blue hair and bandana... the boy looks somewhat similar, with black hair and a freckled grin so big you'd think it's his birthday.

Memories flood Icia's mind as the puzzle slowly completes itself. She looks towards Starro, unable to see the tears in his eyes through her own.

"..... I'm Vivian...."

He nods.

"And that means.... you're...."

"... Tonio.....?"

He nods again, choking on a sob. She sees a streak of yellow flash through his stars, only to be immediately washed out by deep blue.

"I've wanted to tell you for so long..."

Icia tries to keep her voice from trembling as much as her hands.

"How long have you known?"

"Since Raina..."

"Tonio, you should've told me you knew."

"I‐ I didn't know how...." He buries his face in his hands, failing to wipe away the tears pouring down his face. "I was so... fucking stuck on the idea that I'd know my sister when I saw her, but when... when the thing with Raina happened.... I heard you.... and I heard me.... and we were talking. In the real world. As Viv and Antonio.

"I knew it meant something.... and I kinda pieced it together.... but after the talk during the festival, and what I said..... I.... I couldn't bring myself to do it. Y-you've been right here the whole time Viv. You... you knew. You fucking knew, that's why you called me your brother from the start, isn't it?"

Icia's heart cracks a bit more as sobs escape Starro.

"I can't believe I didn't see it from the start, I was so stupid... this whole fucking time, the only reason I came here was to bring you home, and you were here the whole damn time-"

"Wait. Hold on a minute."

Icia sets down the picture and walks over to him, barely holding back tears. "Tonio, you came here for me...?"

Starro nods timidly.

"How long was I missing?!"

".... four years, by the time I left."

"But everything you worked for!!! The choir, the dance team, the theater, color guard, gymnastics- what about it?!"

"Ma pulled me out of it all."

"I thought Dad was funding it all, though! He had that say, not her!!!"

A few seconds of silence go by before Starro breaks down, gripping Icia's arms.

"Papa didn't make it, Viv. His heart couldn't take it. He died a couple years after you disappeared."

Icia feels her heart sink as the tears breach her eyes. She clutches her stomach with one hand and tries to hold Starro up with the other, although failing as her knees buckle and she falls to the ground. The kitchenscape around her starts to break, large black cracks tearing through the walls and cabinets.

".... Antonio, stop lying to me, no he didn't. He didn't, he didn't, he didn't, STOP LYING TO ME. PAPA IS ALIVE. HE'S WAITING FOR US, HE'S WAITING, HE'S... he's..."

Starro's sobs grow into wails as he shakes his head, unable to form words as he hugs Icia. She stares ahead blankly, tears racing down her face and soaking into Starro's fur. Her mind is numb with sudden grief, refusing to believe he's actually gone.

".... g-gone.... he's gone Vivian..."

He must be. Antonio never lied about death. And he'd certainly never lie about their father.

"..... I didn't even get to say goodbye...." She whispers, hands making their way over and around Starro. She pulls him in tighter, feeling the room grow tighter as chips and pieces of the dream fly off into oblivion.

"Everything got worse when you left for your stupid job," he cries. "I couldn't stop Ma and Dad from arguing. Not like you. She was so sure you would come back, that God would bring you home..."

Icia clenches her teeth. "Isn't that just like her..."

"She wouldn't listen. Dad wanted to stop searching after the first year. It was killing us all, and he knew it. She wouldn't listen to him. We all were fighting daily. I did everything to distract myself from you... drinks, parties, sex, all of it... that got me kicked off some teams.

"And then Dad just..... died. And Ma was so done with him by that point that she couldn't even stand my face, so she took all her anger for him out on me. She forced me out of everything else I was in. She tried sending me to some conversion camp. Tried taking all of my clothes because I wasn't enough of a man, 'just like my papa'. She did everything to try and just.... strip me of me, and replace you."

Icia can barely focus on his words, she's trying too hard to not be sick.

"... wh.... what happened next?"

"... I sent Ma to a dementia home. She tried attacking me, kept calling me by our Dad's name, and said she never wanted to see me again. And.... one of the few friends I had left told me about something I could buy from the black market. A headset. From C&A."

Icia nods.... she sees where this is going.

Starro tries to continue through painful sobs and wheezes as he struggles to catch his breath.

"I had to find you, Viv, I had to bring you home. Ma was gone. Dad was gone. You were gone. Everyone I lived for was gone, I couldn't stay around bearing the weight of not knowing where you were. If I was going to do anything with myself, I was going to find you and maybe get you home."

The walls of the kitchen and house completely rip away into the void, leaving only the floor that the two are laying on. Tile after tile, the space shrinks.

"I'm so sorry Vivian, I didn't want it to be like this, I should have stopped you from ever going to work for these monsters who took you and ripped our family apart...."

Icia pulls back from the hug and reaches forward, taking her brother's cheek and wiping some tears away. He jumps a bit, shocked, as she shakes her head sadly.

"It's not your fault, Tonio. None of this is your fault. You have nothing to apologize for..."

"..... I could have done so much more though."

"You were a child. You weren't even 15 when I went under."

"........"

She gives him a bittersweet smile as she feels the tiles directly around them start to give way.

"..... it's just us now, Viv. It's just us two. And we aren't even in the real world, we're just.... here."

".... I know."

Starro looks down at the few tiles keeping them up in the pitch black before looking at Icia again.

".... We're never going home, are we....?"

She shakes her head, tears soaking into her skirt as she smiles more.

"Oh Tonio, I don't think you get it.... there is a difference between a house and a home. A home has our family. Our friends. Our loves. Our safety. Our comfort. This is... only a house now."

He tilts his head a bit, as only 2 tiles remain.

"What do you mean....?"

Icia's smile grows bright and genuine through her tears as she squeezes his hand right before they fall.

"I mean we're already home, Tonio."

The remaining tiles fly out from underneath both people, and they start falling through the void.

Icia's panic once again sets in as she doesn't dare let Starro go. The two fall through the endless expanse, spinning, plummeting faster, and faster, and faster....

.... until Icia wakes up with a scream.

Her eyes don't need to adjust to the dark for her to see mounds and mounds of ice everywhere... it's all over Lance, all over the sheets, under Icia, it looks as if she had a proper mental breakdown just now.

Which, Icia supposes she did.

She feels her tearstained face with one hand and breaks ice off of Lance with the other... he stirs slightly, but doesn't wake up. Of course he wouldn't wake up....

That's not her concern right now though. She needs to find Starro. She doesn't care that it's the middle of their agreed upon 'nighttime', she needs to find her brother now. Knowing him, if he's woken up as well then he has the exact same idea as her.

Icia gets up and grabs her cape. The ice over her pajamas certainly doesn't help with her shivering, as she slips her feet into the first pair of shoes she sees (aka, a pair of slippers that belongs to Lance) and gets ready to leave.

She pauses before she does so however, and looks back at Lance. The majority of that ice is going to melt and make a mess.... even if more of it dries by the time he wakes up, there's no way all of this will be fully gone by the time he does.

Icia rummages around as quietly as she can for everything. A dry comforter and sheets, a hairdryer, and all the towels she can find. She sets them all on the least iced piece of furniture in the room- her vanity chair- before writing a note. Even in the dark, she knows exactly what to write.

"I'll try and be home before you wake up. If not, here is everything you may need to clean up (although hopefully, when you do, most of it will have evaporated). I had a breakdown and iced the room. I'm sorry, but I need to find Starro. If you need me, I will be with him. Ti amo, mio re. I will be home soon, take care.

Love, Icia"

Icia leaves the note open on top of the stack of towels before hurrying down the stairs, not caring to keep her footsteps quiet as she goes downstairs with a towel. She gives it to both cats (who are soaking wet from melted ice) and makes sure they're alright before finally leaving her house, closing the door, and racing towards the circus tent.

[theleechyskrunkly]

VENT! Heed warnings in the tags.

honestly I’m so scared of adulthood. And exams. What do you mean that for me to be a functioning member of society I have to know how to find the area of a triangle and the mass of the moon? What do you mean one day I’m gonna have to wake up everyday, go to work, and realize 80% of what I cried over and what ruined my mental health in school is gonna be useless to my day to day life?

with the way this world works, I just want to live my teenage years at full blast (which I’m not allowed to) and then just die early. I don’t wanna live past 25 years of age because then I’ll constantly be haunted with the constant “when are you having kids? When will you mature? Do you have a partner? Do you have a good job? When will you become a lawyer?” And so on.

The school system is driving me insane. Why do I feel like if I don’t pass this math test I’m not worth anything? Why do I feel dumb, stupid, incapable of understanding what everyone is? Why do I feel like crying because I don’t have all As? Why is everything so tough to keep up with? Why do I have to study 8 different things everyday for years just to forget everything and work an underpaying job that will barely help me get through in this economy?

why am I, as a teen, already worrying about how I’m gonna pay bills in the future? How I’m gonna pay taxes, what career I should take, how will I take care of my parents when they’re old and incapable of working anymore, what I’m gonna do when they die, how will I take care of my sister?

i just don’t get why I can’t enjoy myself the way my friends do. Going out and having fun and getting good grades and being model students and teens in general. Why am I so different? Why am I locked up at home without even being allowed my phone despite being a good behaving daughter? I don’t do drugs, I don’t vape nor smoke, I don’t cheat, I don’t tell my address to random people, I don’t talk to strangers on the street, I don’t sneak out. So why is it that I’m such a horrible daughter? Why am I worse than my 24 year old brother in me mother’s eyes, despite him raping me? Harassing me? Beating me for years straight? Why am I worse that him just because I didn’t do the dishes or told a lie or used my phone for too long? Why am I always the problem? Why can’t I be allowed to make a mistake, once or twice?

why is it always me? Always always ALWAYS me.

i just don’t feel alive. Nor do I feel like living. What if we live and die and it runs out there’s nothing after we die. We just lose consciousness and never wake again. Then what was it all for? All the studying, the crying, the hurting. What was it all for? What is it all for?

[studyofnsfwhump]

NSFWhump Prompt 4

Whumpee suddenly experiences a traumatic flashback while having sex with their lover.

[raccoonrobyn-imagines]

I decided to write this out after thinking about it and chatting with @moonliched ...

This is a small AU that I thought up and wanted to write a blurb about! I might write more eventually if I find more to write about!

Daycare attendants my beloved!

-----

Sun and Moon have kept Their Protected Child safe for many nights, and tonight is no different. They will always keep her safe, and no man would be able to stop them.

-----

TW for: intruders, implied attempted assault, implied attempted child molestation, implied attempted child sexual assault (nothing happens, but keep yourself safe! I don't condone these actions and the like in real life (I can't believe that people have to hear me say this since I write fiction and it isn't up to me as an author to tell you right from wrong))

And with any First Plushie and their Protective Intent, comes The Shadow Monster. The Shadow Monster is the one who hides in the darkness under any bed the Protected Child sleeps in. The Shadow Monster is well known in folklore to keep any child that they are given to safe, along with any visiting child. The Shadow Monster would take the protection of any child visiting on a sleep over just as seriously as their own Protected Child.

-----

Like all Plushies that babies are given once they've been born, The Plushie that were given to any child would be given the Protective Intent so that it could keep you safe from True Monsters. The Protective Intent that is imbued when the family of the newborn baby chose The Plushie from the countless toys from the toy store was well known to keep any child safe from any harm that could befall them.

For Sun and Moon? They take the forms of small happy jesters, littered in sun's and moons and stars.

Sun has loved their Protected Child since they were first awoken, laying side by side with the newborn baby. His Protected Child was a small girl, easily the same size as Sun himself, despite the fact that Sun was smaller than the average newborn. Sun's Protected Child was born sickly, having inhaled some of her own poop while in the womb, along with her mother's body not giving her the sustenance that she needed.

However, the girl thrived once she was able to get the proper nutrition and medical care that she needed. She has since grown well, with only minor hiccups in the past, and is now 5 years old.

Sun, of course, had his own other half of the equation to keep his Protected Child safe. He had Moon.

Moon has been by Sun's side since they were given to the girl in the hospital. Moon has dutifully kept Sun company whenever their little girl would go out and play during the day, and Sun was happy to believe that they were good friends by now. They both adored their little one with their entire beings and love to watch her play in the room with any of the friends she brings over.

However, Sun has been told by Their Protected Child that a strange new family member is visiting, and the uncle has given her strange looks. She has told the one who she believes to be a plushie that she doesn't like how he looks at her, and that he seems weird.

Sun knows that he must tell Moon, so he dutifully stands up once his Protected Child and the rest of the household had fallen asleep and hops off the bed to talk to Moon.

"Moon, did you hear what she said?" Sun asks, looking into the darkness under the bed. When two glowing red eyes peer back out of the darkness and shake to the side slightly, Sun continues. "She said that a new uncle is visiting, and he's made her feel yucky and weird when he looks at her. We need to be prepared to fight him should he attempt anything." Sun explains.

Moons growling voice replies, "Is he sleeping here?"

Sun nods, fretfully twisting his small plush hands together. "She said he is visiting for a week, and that-."

They're both interrupted by the door clicking slightly as it opens. A male face peeks in slightly, and upon seeing the girl sleeping deeply, he opens the door even more. He pays no mind to the rest of the room, not even noticing that the toy that stands next to the bed is a Plushie and not a robot or anything.

Moons snarl lets loose, and Moon easily combines with Sun. As they combine, and The Eclipse begins to grow, slowly stretching their limbs and becoming more and more twisted, showing eyes and fangs and claws where there shouldn't be, the man finally takes notice of them.

When he does, his face grows pale and sweaty, taking a step back and opening his mouth to scream, but The Eclipse is there far faster. When they cover the man's mouth, their innumerable amount of hands and arms cover the rest of him. One of The Eclipses' mouths whisper, "Do not wake the child."

------

The next morning, Sun watches as their child wakes and hears about how the new uncle had somehow left in the middle of the night and left a note about how he had to go and do some things.

The child remains blissfully unaware of what could have happened, and Sun and Moon are both happy that Their Protected Child's innocence and happiness was kept secure for at least one more night.

The man tasted awful in Moon's opinion, but he would eat a thousand more terrible people if it meant that he could keep His Protected Child safe one more night.

[a-j-s-the-only]

I have a new start

these walls have seen no tears

heard no please,

seen no unwelcome hands.

for this room is untouched by him,

I am untouched by him

I have a new start

[bluestrawberrybunny]

To start this post off: I know this seems like a weird crossover fic; HOWEVER, warning before people begin reading: this fic contains major character death, mentions of su*c*de, SA, s*x and s*x work, murder, blood, abandonment, child neglect, child ab*se, and emotional ab*se. If any of these make you uncomfortable, I would suggest finding another fic to read.

While this crossover seems really weird to some readers at a glance, this is a very serious fic that covers the topics mentioned above.

Ok… I am having some issues with the Apprenticeship AU (specifically dealing with writer’s block), but this is an AU and crossover fic I have not been able to stop thinking about. There are planned to be 15 chapters in total. First chapter is out now. It’s something that I really like, and I can’t wait to work on this story moving forward while I figure out how to tell the story I am wanting to with the SMG4 Apprenticeship AU.

So in the meantime, I’m going to be updating this one a lot more frequently during my recovery time from eye surgery, so… yeah.

No, I have no abandoned the Apprenticeship AU (and I am also planning on posting both fics on AO3 eventually, but I was writing them originally on WattPad so… yeah. Give me time to put those on AO3 for those who don’t have WattPad).

Basic rundown of this Space Pirates AU:

Crossover between SMG4, TMNT 2012, BABQFTIM (only Quest!Cuphead and Quest!Mugman are in this fic tho and no I do not support the original AU’s creator), Cry of Fear, Borderlands, and my OCs in a scenario inspired by the show Firefly.

This takes place during TMNT 2012 Season 4, when the group is in space (duh). This AU deals with very difficult topics, especially when regarding how I feel about a certain character from the 2012 series *cough* April *cough* and how she was handled, especially with her relationship to other characters, especially when one of the characters canonically died on screen from her hand.

Basically, this is a “What-If” scenario with a lot of angst, but also a fun found family story surrounding our lovely pirate crew, as well as a fun twist that is revealed at the end of the first chapter and will be explained more throughout the fic.

Again, I know this seems like it would be a crack fic, but it is taken seriously and I am actually taking this story seriously. To be honest, if this story wasn’t so rooted in the story of TMNT 2012 season 4, I would likely take this and make it its own thing. However, I do hope people do give this fic a shot (unless any of the topics I mentioned at the very top of this post make you uncomfortable, in which case I am perfectly fine with you skipping this one for your own mental health).

So… yeah. This is not a crack fic. It’s just me telling a story with a bunch of different characters from different continuities as if they’re all from the same one.