#maybe don't give a person dissociative disorders if you want them to care

[crippledpunks]

if you try to police disabled peoples' diets INCLUDING how they spend their money on food: i just want to ask why? what do you gain from this? like seriously, what do you actually gain from displaying holier-than-thou behavior toward another person's spending and dietary habits? who cares if you would spend your money "better"? you're not them. this is a form of abuse. you literally have no idea what the disabled person can safely digest and actually gains nutrients and energy from. you have no clue, even if you share the same disorder, you are not that person, nor are you their gastroenterologist or other specialist.

telling disabled people to "eat healthier," "eat more salads," "eat more fresh fruits," "eat more fresh vegetables," "eat more grains," and so on can not only be outwardly dangerous for people who have digestive issues like inflammatory bowel diseases, gastroparesis, irritable bowel disease, acid reflux, a history of ulcers, gastritis, and a long list of other digestive health issues, it can outright kill someone if they form a blockage. this can also injure, sicken or kill diabetics, people with non-diabetic low or high blood sugar, blood pressure issues, kidney and liver issues, and many other people.

not only that but you're potentially forcing a neurodivergent person to eat foods that nauseate, sicken, or disgust them, and for what? autistic people know what foods are safe for them to eat. adhd people need to find finds they can manage to keep in their homes without spoiling. dissociative people, people with ADHD, head trauma, develeopmental disorders, other people with memory issues, dementia, alzheimers, psychotic people, and other mental and cognitive health issues need foods they can prepare safely, because many mentally ill and neurodivergent people can't safe;y cook without risk of injury or damage to their home.

people who deal with allergies and intolerances are constantly struggling with being told how to eat when they are the ones who know their experience the most. NOBODY gives a fuck about people with allergies and literally nobody takes food intolerances seriously. i can't digest animal products OR byproducts anymore. i lost the ability. but sometimes i question "maybe i can try it again because this food is cheaper." well. i decided i was spending too much on groceries due to inflation and bought cow's milk instead of almond milk and got so sick it was something i had never seen before. i do NOT need to prioritize "saving money" over eating foods i can safely digest. i had an IBS attack early this morning because i ate some cheese- because it is a "cheap, easy source of protein."

some disabled people need to use certain services like pre-prepared foods being delivered to their homes, be it meals on wheels, or hello fresh. guilting these people for using the services because they could "just cook at home" is insulting to say the least. many of these services have tailored meals with consistent ingredients with limitations on contaminants with allergens.

here's the big one that everyone fucking hates but needs to accept immediately: some disabled people are too exhausted, in pain, dissociated, psychotic, unable to focus, unable to follow instructions, or in other ways unable to cook for themselves and need to use food delivery services like doordash and uber eats.

some disabled people can't or don't want to drive due to their disabilities! blind disabled people exist! para- and quadriplegics exist! people with hand tremors exist! working disabled people exist! amputees exist! disabled parents exist! disabled people who care for partners and family exist!

this one is sooooooo taboo and i'm sick of it. first of all, dashers and uber drivers are every day people who need to earn income. these are people's jobs and their lives are in fact on the line because this is a lot of drivers' primary income. enough with guilting people on this one. i'm fucking sick of it. y'all hate independently employed people and it shows. this isn't a luxury just relegated to rich white moms: disabled people need to have prepared, easy to eat foods delivered to our homes too. y'all need to leave people the fuck alone when it comes to takeout.

the second someone poorer and more disabled than you does something you do regularly, suddenly you're sending articles and giving paragraphs and paragraphs of advice on how to spend money better and how the disabled person "just needs to eat rice, beans, ramen, and frozen vegetables" because disabled people are not allowed comfort NOR convenience in your eyes. this is absolutely asinine. stop it. EATING is not relegated to the privileged

disabled people are people and need to eat. why you are prioritizing money over a literal human need is beyond me this is sick behavior. why do you care so much more about the money than the person ?why is money more important than someone's safety to you? why would anyone rather see someone "spend money the right way" over a human being EATING FOOD and especially foods they KNOW won't make them sick. policing how any disabled person spends their money on food is also unnecessary and abusive. it serves nothing to gain and everything to lose. so what if you think a disabled person spends too much money on food? you do too- we all do: food should be fucking free. get over yourself and let disabled people eat. leave your greed at the door, stop feeling entitled over other peoples' finances and spending habits.

telling a disabled person how to "eat healthier" will not make you healthier, and it will not do them any good, either. all it does is serve to stroke your ego because you believed you ""helped"" someone but all you did was give unsolicited advice that will be forever moot because you do not live in that person's body. don't care if you know them personally: you ain't them. so back off, let disabled people eat. food ain't just for the rich. food ain't just for the abled. let people access food in ways that are safe for us or get the fuck out of our way because all you're doing is causing problems and making disabled people's health problems WORSE.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Don't Speak 49

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, stalking, manipulation, reclusive behaviour, disordered eating, dissociation, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader is a reclusive loner who ventures down to the library on a simple mission. Her task is complicated by the man she meets there. (f!short!reader)

Character: librarian!Andy Barber, Steve Kemp

Note: mondays are for pain.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me 

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

“What’s wrong with her?” Ann’s sharp tone is dulled behind the dim blur all around you. 

“She... she’ll be fine. She’s... adjusting,” Steve explains hesitantly. 

A heavy sigh makes your shiver, an echo of another monster. You sink further down into the bed, eyes shut, body locked up. You couldn’t move if you tried. 

“You had to get her? She’s stupid. Maria wasn’t--” 

“Shut up about Maria,” Steve barks at Ann. “She’s gone. You want a kid, this is what we do.” 

“Should we... should we talk about this here?” She asks. 

“You’re the one who brought it up, Ann,” he retorts. “Besides, she’s dissociating. She probably thinks she’s at home. It’s better she’s like this. Easier.” 

“It won’t be when--” 

“Shut up,” he snarls again. “Go.” 

Silence. Tense and thick. Finally, a set of footfalls depart and another come closer. You don’t react as the figure sits on the edge of the bed, not even as they touch your shoulder through the layers of blankets. 

“Sweetie, how are you doing?” Steve coos. “You wanna get up? You must be hungry.” 

You don’t answer him. You can’t. You’re embarrassed. He’s right about you. Ann is right about you. You’re broken. That fact doesn’t hurt as much as another epiphany; he chose you because of that. You’re not special, you’re not pretty, he doesn’t want you. They want what you can give them. Just like Andy. 

“Can I bring you some food? You have to eat, sweetie,” rubs your shoulder. “Not just for you.” 

You want to scream. Just the very thought of having a baby makes your skins crawl. Your muscles constrict to the point of agony every time you try to imagine it. To you, the very idea is a like a parasite invading your body. 

Just like they did. 

Andy. Ann. Steve. 

She’s right. You are stupid. You made the same mistake twice. Worse, you betrayed and abandoned the only person who every cared about you. The person who would never violate you or call you dumb and useless. You left Amber behind but you think it’s better that you did. Better for her. 

You have no where to go. You’re trapped. This is how it’s going to be. You’re going to keep letting them use you and then you’re going to have a baby. A baby! A baby? No, no, no. 

“Sweetie,” Steve pulls down the blanket to caress your face, “you wanna come to the office today? We can talk. Maybe after, we can go shopping. We’ll need to start getting stuff for the nursery.” You shudder as he strokes along your cheek, “you know, me and Ann, we never thought we could have another. You’re... you’re giving us an amazing gift. You’re making our dreams come true.” 

You stay as you are. He takes a deep breath and spreads his hand over your head. He bends over you and brushes his lips along your temple and to your ear. 

“Get the fuck up.” 

His voice makes you squeak and recoil. As you try to pull away, he catches the back of your head and keeps you there. Your eyes flick open and you gape up at him. He makes you sit up as he grips your skull between his large hands. 

“You’re not going to do this. Not to my baby,” he snarls, “so get up, get dressed, and be a good girl, dove.” 

You pout and your eyes wet, “Steve, please--” 

“You keep this up, and I’ll have to go see how your sister’s doing...” he intones. “Living all alone, she must miss you.” 

“What?” You croak. 

“Someone has to keep an eye on her,” he says. 

“What do you mean?” You whine. 

“You really want me to say it?” He snarls. 

“No, why? Why? You know—I t-t-told you—Andy--” 

He shoves you back down, so hard your neck snaps back and you bite your tongue, “don’t say his fucking name to me. Don't even breathe him in the same sentence as me. I’m not like him and you know that, sweetie. Look how much I’ve helped you. How much I’ve actually helped you.”

He stands and kicks the bed. “I’m giving you a purpose. Something you never had before.” He scoffs and paces around as you rub your neck, “you were nothing before. No one wanted you, no one needed you.” 

“Stop, please. That’s mean--” 

“The truth hurts, baby,” he growls. “So let’s get the fuck up and go.” 

You sniffle and shakily push yourself up. Your heart races and the rampant beat pounds in your ears. You push yourself to the edge of the bed and the blankets slip away from your body. As you stand, his eyes flash at you. 

You’re still naked. They just leave you like that when they’re done. You cross the room but don’t make it to the dresser. He catches you by your arm and drags you back. 

“Not so fast,” he shoves you towards the bed. “Just to make sure,” he forces you onto the bed. “Open up, baby,” he climbs over you, pinning you as his hand creeps between your legs. 

You close your eyes again. You recede back into the shell hewn form years of self-hatred and fear. The cocoon that never let you free. You would never fly free and be a butterfly. You would only ever be this. A burden. Nothing. 

He ruts into you but you don’t feel it. You can’t. His intrusion doesn’t hurt anywhere as bad as the truth. And you can’t blame anyone but yourself. You chose this. 

🕊️

It happens all at once. One moment, you’re sitting there, watching Avery and Harper run in circles around the front room, and the next, you’re keeled over, hurling onto the carpet. You don’t think much of it. Most days, you feel sick. You don’t have an appetite but they make you eat. You still have scratches around your lips from Ann’s manicure. 

You stay bent over the carpet, panting. Avery squeals, “Moooom!” and Harper snickers and adds a draw out, “ewwwwwwwww”. 

You’re pushed back against the couch. You’re breathless and dizzy. You gulp down the bile and watch Ann grimace down at the puddle between your feet. She puts her hands on her hips. 

“Steve,” she rings out. 

Another shadow appears. The adults are quiet as the kids loom behind, “is she sick?” Avery asks. 

“Go. Take your brother to his room.” Ann snips. 

The girl retreats as if away from a lash. You stare up at them. Steve bends and picks you up off the couch. You refuse to set your feet so he carries you away. 

“I’m not cleaning this up,” Ann snarls. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve says, “did you check the calendar?” 

Footsteps follow him as you hang limp in his arms. He takes you into the bedroom, the dark cell where you languish between their grabbing hands, where you wallow in despair and defeat. He lays you down. 

“Makes sense,” Ann drones. “She’s about on track.” 

He hums and nods. “I’ll clean up. We need to be sure.” 

“I’ll need help,” she sniffs. “Just look at her.” 

You stare at the ceiling. The world fades behind the ring of light in your vision as the light bulbs sears into your retina. You close your eyes and everything moves around you as you stay still. 

It’s quiet when you rise from the depths. Out of the void of your own mind and the prison of your body. The lamp next to the bed is on and you’re wearing a shirt you’ve never seen before. There’s a faint scent of urine in the air. You’re all alone. 

Your stomach turns, mulching in on itself, but you ignore it. You just can’t be bothered. The swell of sickness chokes you and you just wallow it back down. Your body spasms with the effort. 

You roll onto your stomach and close your eyes. When you open them again, you’re spewing puke down the bed spread, watching it pool on the hardwood. You wipe your mouth with the back of your head and groan. 

An inch away is the bin from the bathroom. If you’d been awake, you might have been able to reach it. You stretch out your arm and drag it closer. There's a rattle in the bottom. 

You stare down at the white and blue plastic stick. Without fear, you grab it and bring it up to read the little window. Pregnant. That’s it. That's the end. You drop the test into your own puke and roll onto your other side. You dive back into the despondency of sleep. 

You’re woken again by an angry voice. Then a swat on the back of your head, “disgusting, aren’t you?” Ann chides.  

You can hear her scrubbing the floor as the smell of puke hangs in the air. Puke and piss. Filthy, like you. 

When the room is silent and still, you lay on your back. You’re still nauseous. Weak and tired. Everything is so much more intense than it’s ever been. 

The door opens. You don’t react. Steve calls your name and you still don’t answer. He drags you up the bed and makes you sit against the pillows, placed against the headboard. Then he puts the little folding table over your lap. The scent of food makes you grumble. 

“You have to eat,” he says. “It’s not just about you anymore, dove.” 

His timbre is harsh, hateful almost. He holds up the spoon and you stare it down. You keep your lips sealed. 

“Open your damn mouth or I’ll do it for you.” 

You wince and obey. You don’t understand why he changed. He used to be nice. He used to be patient and gentle. He said he was going to fix you. You take the mouthful of porridge and swallow without tasting. 

“You’re... a doctor,” you squeak. 

“Hmm?” He scoops up more of the oats. 

“You’re a doctor... you’re supposed to help me--” 

“I have helped,” he rams the spoon in your mouth again. “You think it would be any different with him? He wouldn’t want you the minute you got knocked up.” He stirs the bowl as he speaks, “but if you give us a healthy baby, we’ll keep you.” 

If. 

You open your mouth again. You stay quiet. You don’t like talking to him. Not anymore. It's always about the baby. It’s always spiteful. He hates you. 

“You get it?” He sneers. “You are carrying our child, that means you have to take care of yourself,” he grabs your hand and wraps it around the spoon, “you need to grow up.” He guides the spoon into the bowl with a clink. “Because if you don’t start taking care of my baby, then I will make sure you fucking suffer. I’ve lost too much already.” 

You whimper and he lets you go. You raise the spoon and lean forward to put the heap of steaming oats between your lips. His eyes are as icy as his words. You’re scared. You’re even more terrified of him than you ever were of Andy. 

“Good girl,” he says but it doesn’t make you feel good. Not anymore. 

You finish the whole bowl, and the fruit on the side, and the orange juice. He gathers up the tray and leaves you. You slump against the pillows and rub your stomach, trying to calm the storm inside. 

It’s more than the latent tide of nausea that makes you restless. You’re head pounds. You can’t even close your eyes. If you sleep any longer, your skull might just split. Your body is achy and your heart feels as if its always racing. You sit up and look around the room. 

Nine months. You know that’s how long it takes. You’ll have less than that by now. You’re not sure how long it would be. 

You turn and shimmy to the edge of the bed. You slide open the night table drawer and take out your journal. You search through the pages. Steve told you to right down your cycle... 

Hm, you can’t figure it out. Probably two months? Maybe less? It doesn't feel like that long.

You put the journal back and your knuckles brush on the smooth cover of your tablet. You pause and lean forward to look into the drawer. You stopped using it because you didn’t want to be reminded of Andy. You couldn’t draw because your hand wouldn’t listen to your brain. 

You glance at the door then take out the tablet. You push back into bed and put your knees up, draping the blankets over them so if anyone walks in, you can hide the screen. You press the button on the side. It takes a moment but it lights up. 

You wait until the homescreen appears. Thirty percent. You can’t remember where the charger went. 

You pull down the notifications. There are a lot. Automatic alerts from the camera at Andy’s house, messages from a strange account that can only be him, and several app updates. 

You swipe them all away. You flick over the menu, back and forth, back and forth. You tap on Insta and wait for it to load. Your last post was a year ago; a drawing of a dove... 

You go to your followers. You don’t have many but you’re only looking for one. You tap Amber’s picture. Her profile opens and your fingers twitch in surprise. Your fingertip taps the little heart and it blooms red. You quickly press again to undo the like. 

Her last post is from a week ago. It’s her and a man. He doesn’t seem to want to be on camera as she kisses his cheek. Oh. You can’t bother her. She’s moved on. She’s happy and you’re going to ruin her life all over again. You’re not her responsibility. 

Your eyes fill with tears as you stare at her picture. A red dot appears at the bottom over the chat icon. It blinks as several messages flow in. It's Amber. 

‘Hey!’ 

‘Are u there?’ 

‘Says ur online. Pls answer me.’ 

You watch her messages pop up. Your lip trembles. What can you do? What can you say? You wipe your tears and snivel. Hey, sis, got myself knocked up and now I’m scared. No, that’s not it. 

You hover your hands over the keyboard and steady them. You blow out between your lips and sort out the words in your head. You tap the letters slowly, taking your time. 

‘I just want to say goodbye. I’m sorry for all the pain I caused. I’m glad to see that you’re happy. Love you.’ 

You read and reread. Over and over. Then you make yourself send it. You don’t wait for her response. What she says, doesn’t matter. She’s free from you. She doesn’t need to worry. You’re not worried either. This is just how it is.  

[gatitties]

Angst!

Headcanon or Scenario for Young!Whitebeard Crew and Old!Whitebeard Crew (separately)

if you can, something inspired by the manga Oyasumi Punpun, like YN with the personality and life of the protagonist

YN (fem) wants to run away with YN best friend to a distant island where they would never suffer again ( insert the sufferings) , but YN's friend ends up dying ( unfortunately couldn't stand the pressure of life itself) and YN is left alone until Whitebeard arrives on the island (I tried not to spoiler the manga, however sad as the manga is, I recommend it, so I wrote something very similar)ages vary between 13 and 14 years old in Young!Whiteboard crew and 17 and 18 in Old!Whitebeard crew, and they deal with YN's various traumas and her short-spoken personality

Whiteboard adopts YN with a lot of love and care, saving YN and giving a comfortable life full of love, being someone very special in the crew for her personality, however difficult, when YN feels at home, is a person who likes to be around and with the crew, however much she is a quiet person

YN suffers from her mental disorders that were not accompanied by a psychiatrist, dealing with them every day with difficulty -( depression and image dissociation for example)

And some images of the protagonist out of context

sorry if it got too depressed ( and very long), do it if you want!

─Young!Whitebeard Pirates & old!Whitebeard Pirates x fem!reader

─Summary: You are not going through your best moment in life but apparently there are people who fight for your well-being

─Warnings: mention of mental illnesses, suicide, self harm

this has taken so long, sorry about that but here it is! I heard about that manga, but I have many others on the list that I want to read 😩

─ Everything seemed to be going great in your life once all those situations experienced on your home island seemed to go away while you escaped from that hellish place.

─ Your family, neighbors, inhabitants in general had screwed you so much that you could have lost your mind at some point during the entire stay, thank God, your best friend accompanied you and supported you in every step you took.

─ They saved you from your own madness and kept you sane most of the time, you were both happy once you started from the bottom on another island, without resources, but with more will to live than ever.

─ Unfortunately, happiness is something ephemeral and you verified it once your friend passed away just a few weeks after experiencing all the previous misfortunes. This only made you fall deeper into your addle mind.

─ You lost all hope of life, you tried to end yourself on multiple occasions but you ended up giving up or something interrupted you, but today you decided to take the plunge, maybe your friend is waiting for you in the afterlife, maybe they misses you… you wanted to see them again and end all this.

Young!whitebeards crew

─An alarmed young crew almost contemplated your death, upset for you, relief for them, Marco saved you before your body fell off a cliff.

─ The fact that you looked just as young as them was Whitebeard's main reason for wanting you on board, he didn't care if you didn't know how to fight or even if you weren't able to fend for yourself, they were a family for something.

─ They had to deal with many of your injuries, they were all afraid to do or say something that could affect you in the slightest because thanks to your twisted mind, things could hurt you more than they thought.

─ They will walk with baby steps with you, they don't want to stress you if many of them try to help you with a problem or pressure you to express your feelings so openly.

─ Probably the least careful is Ace, he's still a young brat after all, but his nonchalance will change once he sees that you harm yourself just because of some bad thoughts you had.

─ Izo is the one who usually keeps you sane when you start to lose your temper and let the voices that haunt you inside your head get out of control, he will manage to calm them down somehow.

─ An inexperienced cook Thatch will try to communicate more with you thanks to the food and the excuse that he needs a helper, your calm personality is what he needs to focus on cooking without a noisy Ace that asks to be fed every hour.

Old!Whitebeard crew

─ Despite having more experience in some things, they didn't expect to see someone try to commit suicide in front of them, Ace was the one who was able to disarm you before you could finish everything.

─ They will be much more direct when facing your problems, Whitebeard can't just watch you fade little by little so he won't hesitate to confront you directly.

─ Marco will help you by controlling your medications, with a little more knowledge than his young him, he will know which pills he should use.

─ Izo will become a safe place to go to, from minute zero he went to you to know that if you were fighting against some pessimistic thoughts he could help you with that.

─ Thatch wants you to try all the new dishes he just perfected, he wants you to feel at home, so he will work twice as hard if you tell him your favorite dish.

─ In general, everyone knows when they should intervene when you are walking on the thin rope of sanity, despite having managed to calm you down and give you some hope, your head can always betray you from time to time.

─ They will not be as indecisive with their decisions towards you as they would have been in the past when they were young, they will take the step to get closer to you and break the walls that surround your damaged heart, they do not care about the past that you have lived, now you just have to live in the present with them.

[dervampireprince]

dervampireprince’s Audio Request Guide

Since commissions are closed there's not an easy way for people to see what I am comfortable or not comfortable with being asked to record, so I'm just making a little post here that I'll add as a link in my pinned post. Frankly though, basic rule I think you should always follow is 'don't ask person to create something with a very triggering/serious topic when you don't know if it's a trigger for that person'.

And just because you're into something that's on my 'will not record' list does not mean I am judging you or think you're bad for liking said thing, this is my personal list of what I'm not comfortable with so please respect that and don't try and convince me into being okay with something on this list.

And obviously people change, boundaries change, things can be added or taken off this list but if/when they do it will be my decision and no one else's.

I will not record:

Scenarios

any nsfw scenario for my ocs that is on their hard-limits list

the listener being under 18 (even in sfw audios)

comfort for serious mental health topics (eg suicide/suicidal ideation, eating disorders, self harm) (panic/anxiety attack comfort is fine to request, general cheering up and comfort for low-self-esteem is fine to request)

incest (including step-families, adopted relatives)

abdl/sexual age play (daddy/mommy kink is fine, non-sexual age play and age regression is fine)

misgendering/detransition kink

alcohol/intoxication

drug use

non-con, cnc

raceplay

bestiality (monsters and anthros are fine)

scat

vomit

piss/omorashi/watersports

anything containing bigotry/slurs

gore/guro

feederism

pregnancy/child birth

taking care of a child/interacting with any characters/listeners who are minors

degradation (light degradation maybe)

pain play (including spanking and slapping)

violence and torture

anything mentioning/to do with any real world religion

yandere (I did a yandere audio once to test the waters and really didn't enjoy it and so don't want to again. I just prefer making more comfy vibes audios, there's other creators out there if you want the darker topics (I personally would recommend Dark and Twisted Whisper if you want monster and yandere audios)

NSFW audios where someone with DID switches between alters, switching is not an easy sudden thing like it appears to be in shows like Moon Knight, it's stressful and tiring and the person is dissociating, whoever comes into the body during the NSFW activity has had no way to consent to the NSFW activity due to not having any memory of what's been happening while they weren't fronting, it would be wrong and a violation of informed consent to continue any NSFW activity in this scenario.

any scenario that requires multiple listener characters in the same audio (it would be impossible for me to record without it being confusing or having to give the listener's canonical names and pronouns which removes their ability to be self-inserts for the audience)

Characters and Fandoms

any female characters (genderfluid characters who also at times identify as male are an exception (eg Loki, Crowley) but I only voice them when they're identifying as male)

any character that is under 18

any characters from: the Harry Potter/Fantastic Beasts franchise

any characters from Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss

any real people (including Vtubers, SMP characters, etc)

FNAF animatronics that have dead children's souls inside of them (the animatronics from Security Breach do not and so are fine to request, Springtrap has an adult's soul so that's also fine)

specifically the ascended version of Astarion from Baldur's Gate 3

Cazador from BG3

Loki Series related audios (MCU film Loki is fine, but I will not be voicing the alternate version of him from the Loki Series or anything relating to that show).

Silco from Arcane. I have talked about this before, but in 2022 myself and friends spent time with Silco's voice actor in person at two comic conventions where he proceeded to make us uncomfortable, be inappropriate, threaten one member, and start a relationship with another (who was a fan, which is an abuse of that power dynamic). He was then also found to have been private messaging multiple fans, including sending them sexual messages. After all this happened I took a break from voicing Silco, tried to go back to it, but had to stop. Voicing the character brings all this back up and makes me too uncomfortable and distressed. Voice actors are not their characters and vice versa, but I can't think about Silco without thinking about all of this.

characters from these fandoms (I either don't know anything about these fandoms, don't know a lot, or just don't want to voice anyone from them yes even if I've voiced characters from them in the past, this list is especially subject to change): Dragon Age, Final Fantasy, Star Wars, Star Trek, Mass Effect, The Dragon Prince, Critical Role/Vox Machina

ASMR and comfort content are not replacements for actual therapy. I am not a therapist or psychiatrist, I'm not qualified or able to give out advice on serious mental health and other issues. There are always people around to help and listen but this is not the place to vent and please do not ask me to make content about trigger topics and serious mental health issues. If you are in need of help with serious issues please reach out to qualified individuals or appropriate hot-lines.

Please do not send me asks/comments asking for me to do comforts for serious mental health issues, not only is it inappropriate to ask of a stranger, I am in no way qualified to offer real comfort to strangers for this and could end up saying something that makes it worse by accident, and I personally find some of those topics very triggering to the point it makes me upset/uncomfortable to see them mentioned.

Me not being comfortable recording certain kinks does not mean I am kinkshaming anyone into those things, they just make me too uncomfortable for me to even act out in fiction.

Do not ask me why I don't want to record certain things or certain characters. Do not ask me why things are on this list. Everyone has different things they're uncomfortable with and their own boundaries and that should be respected.

This list is subject to future updates. Last updated: 2nd January 2025.

[beesflowers]

Hey hey bee! I'm just thinking...

Aizen would kinda be good friends with Shin just cause they both can play guitar so could i just have a fic of them playing together(while probably talking about their gfs cause miya and ena kinda close) ?

For aizen general description, he's in class 2-A, he is a smart boy but lazy one you know one of those guys that slept in class but somehow got good grades? Yeah that's him. He loves sewing and playing guitar. He's also the one that confesses to Miya first even though they're not in the same year. (Aizen is a 2nd year while Miya is a 1st year)

Aizen is also a disciplinary committee just like an! He does his job sometimes. He has a younger brother but will not be mentioned much. He absolutely adores and a fan of leoneed.

This is his relationship with canon characters<333 and yes he's online friends with nene as they would often play games together

Also if you actually want to make him talk about miya, i would gave you the basics of her personality. Miya kinda has dissociative personality disorder which makes her kinda like two-faced? She's could be seen going from energetic to moody/passive-aggresive from time to time. She tried to maintain her personality now and is getting better with aizen as her supporter! (God i love them both sm)

Im planning on making a 2d model of miya and aizen if I'm not too busy + i haven't started making aizen's stamp yet omg

Also sorry if I'm ranting too much-

-❄

Answer: Of course I can! And don't worry about rambling! In fact I'm glad because I can write headcanons/fic a bit better! So here it is Also, I really hope I got Aizen's personality well but if not then feel free to tell me! ^^

𝒮𝒽𝒾𝓃'𝓈 𝓅𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓉𝒾𝒸𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒜𝒾𝓏𝑒𝓃

Characters: Shin Hinomori, Aizen Arisugawa

Type: platonic

they definitely have guitar practices together! maybe even like once a week? Maybe even twice?

it's not a band thing or anything like that, even if they may treat it that way... they're just doing it to get a bit closer, play together and maybe relax after long day!

but of course it's not JUST practice! I can see them bringing some snacks and talk when they take a break from playing to not overdo it!

so Shin definitely talks a lot about his sisters and lover as well! So Aizen probably talks about Miya too!

"Honestly Ena can be a bit too much of a tsundere sometimes but I guess that's why I feel in love with her!"

"You just like tsunderes, huh?"

"It looks like it! But believe me, she can be sweet!"

"So she has mood changes? Like Miya?"

"Yes! You can see it like that! Except Ena is tsundere on daily basis but in private or when she's feeling a bit affectionate, she changes into cutie pie~"

their usual subject are their girls but I think they can talk a bit about Shiho and Leo/Need in overall too!

"Have you heard? Leo/Need is releasing new song this week!"

"Ah yes, Shizuku and Tsukasa had their meeting yesterday... release date is about in 3 days... but I have sister there! So I managed to get it for you early!"

I find it canon that Shiho get's 4 copies of their songs. One for Shizuku, Tsukasa, Shin and Aizen. Of course she will give it like she doesn't care and rest of Leo/Need just forced her (wchich is indeed the reason for first time she does it) but she's doing it because she likes them~

which also makes two boys practice a bit different! Hinomori will never listen to their song before meeting with his friend so they both can have first reaction together!

I think they'd listen to their song before practice so if they really like the song, they might try to play it together!

[kafus]

for the AMA, how long did it take for you to find a good therapist? ive struggled throughout the years with a lot of my own and even opening up to them, so i thought i would ask about it, especially in regards to DID therapy if that's alright. of course though, you don't need to answer this if you don't want to

this probably isn't a very reassuring answer but an honest one: around 8-9 years. i started therapy when i was pretty young (like 10 or 11, i don't remember exactly when) and i settled on my current therapist when i was 19, almost 20. that being said this was mostly because i was a minor and didn't have much control over my medical care, i knew the therapy and medication i was receiving weren't helping (and were often harming me actually) but bringing this up to anyone at the time was met with a resounding "you're just doing therapy wrong/you don't care about helping yourself" and refusal to get me the help i actually needed/wanted. i have a long history of being medically abused unfortunately.

all that being said once i turned 18 i had a lot more control over this matter and i very soon after looked for someone to treat my maybe-DID/OSDD (i wasn't sure on it yet at the time) and uh... well the first person i saw was AWFUL and super dissuaded me from trying again, but when i was 19 under the pushing of my girlfriend at the time i did try again and my current therapist has been great! she's a dissociative disorders and trauma specialist, including DID, and i've been seeing her for nearly 4 full years now. if you're looking for therapy i definitely recommend not giving up if the first person or second or third or whatever does not click with you or is downright bad, i PROMISE not every therapist is going to be that way even if it sucks doing the searching process </3 and it is not your fault at all!

[literatureloverx]

The Fairest One of All, our dear Snow White,

We know some of your fictional crushes. I mean, your biggest ones. But I was wondering if you could share with us all the fictional crushes you've ever had, all the ones you can remember? Is there a pattern between them? Well, there certainly is a pattern with mine. I don't know if that's a good thing though. But the real reason why I'm asking you this question is I'd like to see if maybe we have other shared favorite characters from different shows/movies/books etc. I relate to you, I feel like we are so opposite yet so similar at the same time, you are better than me at putting my thoughts into words. That probably would explain why you're my favorite blogger. Anyway, without prolonging this message any longer, please be safe and take care of yourself - keep up your great work. You’re unique and I find your passionate personality to be very inspiring.

Sincerely yours,

-🛵🌻

My dear 🛵🌻-anon, always coming up with the most thought-provoking questions… ♥️ I’m truly honoured to be your favourite blogger, thank you very much.🥺 (and you’re always welcome to share more thoughts!).

I’ll approach this chronologically, as I think it’ll give you a clearer understanding of my development over the years.

The first-ever anime crush: Zero Kiryu from Vampire Knight

I know… it’s a questionable anime/manga. But I was around 12, so bear with me, haha. I liked his seemingly cold exterior and, of course, his design. I was drawn to his inner turmoil—hating vampires with every fibre of his being while still being so deeply, pathetically in love with the vampire princess (who, by the way, I found utterly insufferable. Her stupidity was nerve-wracking, even for the 12-year-old me).

MBTI type: Definitely a Fi user. I would type him as an ISTJ, but I’m not entirely sure. It’s been way too long. *cries in 21*

Shin Se Gi from the K-drama Kill Me, Heal Me

The male lead of this drama has dissociative identity disorder, and Shin Se Gi is one of his personalities—if I’m correct, the first one to manifest. I didn’t watch this show to learn about the disorder (it was portrayed more as a supernatural phenomenon than an actual identity disorder), but purely for enjoyment because Kwak Tae-geun (Ji Seong) is an actor I deeply respect and love. I’m not sure if I would love the character as much if I watched it now, but my 14/15-year-old self certainly adored this undercover, soft-hearted bad boy. The comedic timing was spot on, and the actor perfectly brought out his charm.

MBTI type: This one is tricky. ESTP seems fitting, but I could also see him as a Fi user. I’d need to rewatch the show to conduct a proper analysis. However, ESTP makes sense, as I recall typing the core identity of the male lead as INFJ. ESTP is the subconscious counterpart of the INFJ personality type, meaning they share the same cognitive functions but in reversed order.

Lelouch Lamperouge from Code Geass

The mastermind with the goal of the greater good for humanity. Most ardently, my type. The many girlfriends aspect didn’t sit well with me, though. I believe I was around 14 here as well.

MBTI type: INTJ.♥️

Levi Ackerman from Attack on Titan

I was forced to watch Attack on Titan by my friends. Initially, I didn’t want to because it was so brutal, and I dislike excessive blood. However, I’m not as sensitive anymore (or at all), and AoT plays a huge role in that. Levi struck me as this beautiful man carrying more burdens than anyone should. The strongest yet the most unfortunate, sad one. He has such a big heart despite never fully showing it. He isn’t just a father figure but an incredibly dimensional character. I loved him for quite some time—it even bordered on obsession. I remember this era very clearly: I was 16, and it lasted until I was about 18.

(Seriously, his A Slap on Titan version will NEVER stop being funny to me. PAHAHAHA PURE GOLD. “Petra… please don’t cry. You’re so ugly when you cry.” “JAEGER BOMB.” “This was a great tea party… I just sat here and insulted all of you, and nobody talked back.”)

MBTI type: I think ISTP fits, as many type him that way anyway.

Isaac Foster from Angels of Death

Looking back, I realise I’ve always had a soft spot for people who are pure—not in the traditional sense, but in a spiritual and childlike way. Despite being a serial killer, he didn’t have much choice but to become who he was. He was aware of his own shortcomings, like his illiteracy, and he appreciated help, even if he didn’t express it positively or openly. He’s a deeply tragic figure, but I loved him in a pure, untainted way. I saw immense potential for him to become a good person because all the necessary traits were there. If only his chance for a better life hadn’t been taken from him… He was, and always will be, worth saving. And worth loving. I believe I was 16 or 17 at the time.

MBTI type: People type him as both an ISTP and ESTP. Where exactly is the strong Ti? I would type him as an ESFP.

Dabi (Touya Todoroki) from My Hero Academia

This might sound absurd, but I’ve cried over this man. I know he’s a fictional character, but there are real children out there like him, and it’s heartbreaking to see them failed by incompetent adults. They lose their chance at a better life. Seriously, he was just a child—what else could he have done? His desire to establish a new world order without the pretense of heroism resonated with me, though I don’t think he was entirely right. He was spot-on about some of them, like his father, for sure, but generalising wasn’t okay. The moral dilemmas that pushed and pulled the Todoroki family intrigued me. Honestly, I started reading/watching MHA solely because of him after seeing a random edit, skipping straight to his debut—lmao.

I’m not entirely sure why I liked him, but it must’ve been the saviour complex. My fixation with him lasted about a year.

MBTI type: People type him as an ISFP, but I don’t see him as a Fi-dom. He’s certainly too traumatised for accurate typing, but I’d say he’s an ISTP.

Malleus Draconia from Twisted Wonderland

The ancient dragon boy with a feverish need to connect, love, and cherish, yet also the need to isolate himself. To be alone but not lonely. I found his psyche fascinating. Knowing he’ll outlive his friends and family is heartbreaking, and it’s intriguing to see how that fact shapes him. His slow descent into madness—humming that lullaby and all—hooked me briefly when I was about 18. Maleficent is one of my favourite Disney villains, and I liked that he’s her descendant. Note: I’ve never played this game; to my knowledge, it’s not accessible in Europe.

MBTI type: Many type him as an INTJ… but where is the Te? I only see an INFJ with unhealthy Fe and obsessive Ni.

Scaramouche/Wanderer from Genshin Impact (Never played the game, lmao.)

One day, I saw a video of him on Youtube. It explained how his character was inspired by Queen’s song Bohemian Rhapsody. Naturally, it piqued my interest because it’s a song I already knew and liked. That led me down the rabbit hole—I researched his character and stumbled upon official videos where he spoke about his life, humanity, and the gods in such a deeply pessimistic and existential way. His dread and detachment intrigued me, and I couldn’t help but want to understand him better.

MBTI type: Fight me if you want, but I firmly believe he’s an unhealthy INFP. No way this man is a strong Te user.

Fyodor Dostoevsky from Bungo Stray Dogs

Hereby, as a picky eater, I solemnly swear: if my excessive, gut-wrenching crush on this man ever fades, I will eat one of the dishes I despise (though, let’s be honest, that’s never going to happen). I’ve been obsessed with him for three years now. I “met” him when I was 18, and it’s been downhill (or uphill?) ever since.

MBTI type: INTJ.♥️

William James Moriarty from Moriarty the Patriot

Here we are again—another man with the dream of creating a better world. In his case, he wants to build a better society and future. He’s brave, strategic, and intelligent. It goes without saying that I’m a sucker for masterminds, right? I believe I was 18 or 19 when I encountered him.

MBTI type: he could be an INFJ, but I’m not sure. I need to analyse him throughly someday.

Griffith from Berserk

I even wrote an analysis on him, which captures exactly why I find him so intriguing. His ambition, charisma, and overwhelming drive to achieve his dream fascinated me. My interest didn’t last particularly long, though—I believe I was around 19 at the time.

MBTI type: ENTJ.

Sauron/Halbrand from The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power

An ancient evil mastermind with good looks? Say less—my type through and through.

MBTI type: INTJ.♥️

Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings trilogy

I wasn’t sure where to include this because, technically, I’ve known about Aragorn since childhood. I grew up with the LOTR movies since my parents loved them, but my realisation of how perfect he is only hit me recently. Honourable, brave, intelligent, and trustworthy—he is everything one could want in a man. That being said, nobody’s perfect. His moments with Eowyn? I didn’t like those. (I mean, come on, I’m basically Arwen, children.)

MBTI type: INFJ.

Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars

This is another character I’ve been familiar with since childhood. I love his “fallen angel” storyline—it makes him such a tragic character. I had a crush on him even as a 9-year-old, though it was obviously just a childhood crush—nothing too serious (although none of them are serious because they’re all fictional characters, but you know what I mean). The reason he isn’t included earlier in chronological order is that, like Aragorn, I’ve known him for so long, but my moments of admiration came much later. My fascination with him would always fade after a few weeks of obsessing, only to resurface repeatedly over the years.

MBTI Type: This is by far the trickiest one. In his childhood, I might have typed him as a Te-dom, specifically an ESTJ. However, his adult version seems more like an Fi-dom to me, particularly an ISFP. The other types I considered but ultimately found didn’t fit as well were ENTJ and ESFP. Despite spending far too long analysing him, I’m still unsure about his exact type.

In conclusion:

I have noticed a clear trend in my preferences. I love pure characters with immense potential for redemption, but I’m equally drawn to unhinged masterminds who thrive on calculated corruption for the greater good. It seems complex. I probably need someone else to psychoanalyse me (you know who you are) because while I may excel at analysing others, I’m hopeless at analysing myself.

[lorisystem]

I hope its ok to answer to this post with some advice as someone who has a system and is in in treatment for complex dissociative disorders.

I recognize myself a bit in that person you described- i'm 28 now, but at around that age i could probably have said something like that person said and i wasnt diagnosed or nothing at the time.

When i was at around that age my switches were obvious to me while they arent so much now. At the time i was in a highly volatile and traumatic environment and my alters were very obvious to me and i thought i could track every switch (not actually true, i was just triggered a lot so got a lot more overt switches and the more covert ones flew under the radar). I could also switch "on demand" (again not actually really accurate, just bc of the context i was co-con a lot with many of my alters and assumed some wrong things).

I have no idea how obvious my switches were at the time but im willing to bet they weren't so obvious. On that topic i want to say that in OSDD and even in many forms of DID switches are not always obvious (especially if its an "easy" switch). Many people diagnosed with DID have covert switches.

Truth is you can't know if this person has DID/OSDD or another complex dissociative disorder for sure. Even specialized medical staff can get it wrong tbh. But it doesn't matter.

My advice is really don't invalidate them because if they think they have DID, that means they have had things happen to them they consider traumatic. They looked up DID and looked at their history and feel it's traumatic and no matter how you feel about that there's nothing worse than to be told or made understood that when you went through wasn't "that bad", it's subjective. So if you doubt they have DID/OSDD they might think you think their trauma isn't valid.

Don't necessarily encourage them either, though. It can be harmful also to lock oneself in thinking one has something (DID or other) but IMO you're better off letting them come to their own conclusions and seek the help they need for what they need. You can listen to them talk about it without judgement and encourage them to discuss their concerns with a therapist/trusted adult.

If it's not DID they'll find out at some point. Don't invalidate their system though, whether it's a DID, OSDD, or something else. If it's not a dissociative "disorder" (as in not considered pathological/actively harmful to their life) it can still be a coping mechanism, maybe the alters aren't exactly like in DID or something but they're still an important part of that person's life and identity. It's not harmful to take an interest in them and ask about them and interact with them etc- just communicate with your friend and establish boundaries if needed.

Also encourage them to seek the help they need if they're able to (depending on their context that can be retraumatizing so proceed with caution and don't force it if you notice they aren't receptive).

I hope this helps somewhat and I'm open to giving more advice if you have more questions.

Take care

DID/OSDD tumblr I have a question!

First of all, I understand that y'all are not professionals. I unfortunately can't talk to a professional about this, though, but rest assured I won't take your answers as the absolute truth and nothing but the truth.

So someone I know, the age of 15, tells me that they believe they have DID or OSDD. Okay, good to know, I think. They tell me that at age 11 they realized that they had headmates (they didn't know what headmates were then but they knew they had people in their head.) They also tell me that switching is fast and easy for them. They then demonstrate this by switching fast between headmates. I found this a bit suspicous, but I'd like to hear if this is normal and possible for some systems. They also named over ten alters, should they make a syslist? Should I tell them to make a syslist?

So I tell them "If that's okay, would your headmates be able to tell me if they're fronting?" And they say yes. A few minutes later, one of them says they are fronting and says their name. I notice that this alter's speech, mannerisms, posture, and voice are they same, and that they share a lot of the same interests. Is this OSDD1a? I don't know. Can system tumblr help me?

[atlasscrumpit]

Random talk about how Dissociative Identity Disorder is received and portrayed online (from my point of view)

I definitely don't like to be open online about having DID, I don't mind on tumblr because it's pretty accepting but places like twitter, Instagram and tiktok are really difficult

I think since DID has been more talked about and more seen in the media there's definitely more people who have been 'faking' it. Whether they have another mental illness and get it confused with DID or just do it for fun. It's very damaging

I don't mention that I have DID much online because it's very likely that you'll get called FAKE and even more by people who actually are FAKING it

A lot of people online think DID is just fake

I've been called the devil because of it

I've dated online a few times and a lot of the time these men would pick and choose who they wanted to talk to

They would set rules saying, this person can't come out, this person can and it destroyed me by the thought that they think they can make that decision

If you mention you have DID online, people will have a MILLION questions

Even more so if you did it after moon knight!

If someone asks to see proof or a medical document to prove it DO NOT GIVE THEM IT

It's none of their business

Try your best to not care if people believe you

I know a lot of people have wars with themselves thinking maybe they are faking it

And when someone says it to you, you get insecure

But, just remember that they don't know you. They've seen the word DID and gone YOURE FAKING IT. Without any backups

Feel free to add any of your own experiences!

[shai-manahan]

OK OK OK CALM DOWN CALM DOWN THIS IS NOT AM EMERGENCY BUT I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW JUST HOW MUCH I LOVE YOUR WRITING AND IF LIKE- ????? THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE THINGS IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND OMG THAT NIGHTMARE SCENE IS GIVING ME NIGHTMARES THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT SO I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU THAT I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR WORK AND HOW GLAD IM THAT YOU DECIDED TO BRING IT TO LIFE- SO KEEP IT UP AND PLEASE TAKE CARE YOUR HEALTH AS WELL 👍👍👍👍👍👍

also i have a few theories about our MC if you don't mind-

1. so... as i played through the nightmare scene for the 9th time in a row to fully relish the horror and trauma, i realized that our dear (but unfortunate) MC must have gone through something MUCH MUCH worse than merely watching their father get oofed off by their mother 🤔🤔🤔 because i once read somewhere that if someone experiences like a really bad traumatic experience their brain will instinctively suppress their memories and lock them away to protect the person from getting anymore affected and also to give them a sense of normality? dunno about that our brains can be really mysterious sometimes, which brings me to my second theory

2. OK OK OK i know this may sound crazy and also scientifically inaccurate, but i think MC has some sort of Dissociative disorder? i mean- how do you explain their sudden black out from their home to their journey all the way to Bale's territory and the bar? or maybe im just overthinking it and perhaps its somehow related to the hallucinations and the syringes that have been emphasized over multiples times in the demo

3. why do i feel our MC is being drugged with something 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 or maybe something happened before or after the incident with their father otherwise why would Alex act so sus, Vincent too, YALL TOO SUS

and so ends my theory spree as i have exhausted my remaining two brain cells to make SOME kind of sense and connection through this whole theory thing

ALSO ALSO ALONZO WHY DO I HAVE A FEELING I WRONGED YOU SOMEHOW AND SOMEWHERE AND IF I DID IM SO SORRY -

which puts me to my next question, i wonder why our MC just offed 11 of their coworkers 🤔 corruption maybe? whatever the case Is, it still doesn't excuse bernard (or whatever his name is, he's a jerk) for acting like the lil piece of poop he is, to both us and finn cause oh boy imma bout to throw hands (you better sleep with one eye open you lil shit)

ALSO ALSO ALSO MORE WESLEY LORE YAY omg now i feel kinda conflicted rn like i still wanna sock that lil bastard for exposing us but i feel kinda pity for him too, also that wholesome moment between them was so cute if not for the current angsty situation, but i guess i'll them off with one good bish slap on the face for the whole expose before listening to their side of the story

and now finally, after going through your whole blog i realized that we have a hidden mental health stat- lol my mc is gonna be one helluva self sabotaging half depressed boi bu the end of this IF 😂

SORRY FOR THE EXTREMELY LONG RANT / ASK I WAS JUST TOO EXCITED AFTER PLAYING THE WHOLE DEMO AGAIN OVER 9 TIMES BEFORE FINALLY FEELING SATISFIED- IM SORRY 😭😅

Oh that is long, but don't be sorry! I love seeing long messages like this 😌And I’m so glad you love the story to this extent 😭

First of all, so there'll be no misunderstandings, I want to make it clear that what the MC is going through isn't exactly a dissociative disorder, although there is some degree of disassociation happening. I can't explain further because it's a very huge spoiler, but not everything they've been experiencing can be solely attributed to the level of trauma and other related occurrences that DID patients often went through before being diagnosed. It's a little... different.

This does not mean, however, that the MC has no repressed memories 😔 If you look carefully, there are actually some more hints spread throughout the demo, although some of them are hidden behind certain routes. A lot are in Chapter 2, though. Anyway, the revelations relating to it won’t be the focus of Book 1, but there will be a lot more clues in the future.

And yeah, I'm afraid Alex and Vincent will continue to be sus all the way.

YALL TOO SUS

ah but I wouldn’t have done my job right if they’re not sus :)))

why do i feel our MC is being drugged with something 🤔

🤔🤔🤔

ALSO ALSO ALONZO WHY DO I HAVE A FEELING I WRONGED YOU SOMEHOW AND SOMEWHERE AND IF I DID IM SO SORRY

Well, I suppose that depends on the perspective but Alonzo does believe the MC has wronged them haha which is tbh actually valid.

which puts me to my next question, i wonder why our MC just offed 11 of their coworkers 🤔 corruption maybe?

To be fair, I don't think arresting them counts as offing lmao but yeah there's a heavy corruption occurring within the police force and everybody knows it; it's just that most of the people in Gaile cannot do anything to stop it. And don't worry about Bertrand, he already sleeps with one eye open lmaoooo although he does have kind of a huge role (spoiler: he will always be an asshole).

Wesley's reuinion scene, though... if you all think the flashback scene is already conflicting you, well, the reunion might uh.... actually nevermind, I'm not gonna spoil it.

and now finally, after going through your whole blog i realized that we have a hidden mental health stat- lol my mc is gonna be one helluva self sabotaging half depressed boi bu the end of this IF 😂

There are four types of mental health stats in the demo right now, but I'm arranging all the variables in a spreadsheet to see if I've missed anything. I kinda have a lot of them lmfao.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Do you have, or know anyone who has, resources regarding diagnosis outside of DID? I'm trying to do research, and am not doing it very well it seems. Suggested keywords to use on a search engine works too if that's easier. I'm trying to do research so I have anything to present if my health care providers try to dismiss me. But I also understand if this sort of question really crosses into a territory you don't want to discuss. Or don't feel comfortable with. In which case I'm very sorry. Either way, I hope you're well

hey, if you’re wondering about a diagnoses outside of did, it will really depend on your symptoms and the reasons you’re seeking a diagnosis. if you’re hoping that having a diagnosis will give your system validity and that is your primary goal for seeking help, we’d like to say that you don’t need a medical diagnosis to experience multiplicity or to be a real system. seeking a diagnosis as a form of validation probably won’t be the best path to take ultimately.

however, if you are struggling, and you believe you may have some sort of dissociative or personality disorder, perhaps look into these diagnoses:

dissociative disorders: other specified dissociative disorder (osdd) 1b and 1a, partial-did, dissociative amnesia, depersonalization/derealization (as a system with a did diagnosis, we found the did-research website immensely helpful with wealth of accessible resources for dissociative disorders of all sorts).

personality disorders: borderline personality disorder, paranoid personality disorder, schizotypal personality disorder, avoidant personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar (types 1 and 2)

you also might want to look into ptsd and c-ptsd, maladaptive daydreaming, bipolar, and schizophrenia, depending on your symptoms.

when researching these disorders, try to make a note of symptoms that align with your experience, and symptoms that you don’t have. if any of these seem like they might be what’s affecting you, maybe bring them up to you psychologist or mental health professional.

we will also say that the average time it takes for someone to receive a cdd diagnosis is something like 5-8 years. if you’re dismissed initially by your doctors, ask for them to explain their reasons for dismissal, and don’t give up. dissociative disorders are highly debated in the medical field, and many healthcare providers are likely reluctant to diagnose patients with these disorders (even if they truly are suffering from a cdd!).

advocating for yourself is not always easy, and we wish you the very best as you try and understand what disorders may be affecting you. hopefully we’ve been able to provide you with some tools to help things go smoother. good luck with everything!

🐢 kip and 🐺 october

[thegnomelord]

Don't mind me, just gonna defend my friend

Who cares about the size of your server? Whether it's 1 person, 10 people, 1k or 100k, that's no excuse for poor moderation and selective cencorship. If you can't moderate properly, get more or better mods and stop using the number as an excuse.

For someone who complains about a person "throwing around buzzwords and emotional manipulation and call it facts" and supposedly lying about your friend, you sure have no problem and love doing the same. Anti this, anti that, calling Zyo emotionally manipulative and shit, actively insulting and slandering people you don't agree with but bitching about them, supposedly, doing the same. Bro, you don't provide any receipts that Zyo started any 'witchunt'. Also, "Is actively pretending to have DiD/Dissociative Identity Disorder, generally only interacts with fandom to be a massive" and how do you know??? A person's mental health is a private thing and what proof do you want? Their medical history? Should they give you their address and social security number too? You are actively spreading misinformation and pushing your beliefs as fact, you fucking hypocrite.

3. Someone not being active in a server for a long time doesn't mean they're sitting in the corner doctor Evil style planning how to start drama. I'm in servers that I only respond to once or twice a month because life gets in the way or I'm tired or don't have anything to add to the conversation. But I still get notifications from the discord or look at the chat to see what other ppl are saying, so for you to say Jellycakes was planning to start drama because they're not active on a server is utter bitch behaviour.

4. About the 'nothing in that single comment was informational' bro didn't you even ASK Or let Jelly provide proof. It's reasonable to be skeptical but you didn't ask for any proof and by the timestamp of the messages you can see that you guys IMMEDIATELY just went 'mmhph DeLeTe ThIs'. You can't rage on a post demanding proof when you don't even give the person TIME to give proof. Also, for someone who said there's absolutely no politics allowed, you lot sure love letting politics in your chat.

Really left politics and irl issues at the door huh?

5. I don't agree nor condone people receiving death threats, but if you are going to say Leech or someone else is receiving death threats, give me proof. Leech has deleted all his socials, your cod server is dead quiet, death threats are a horrible thing but if you are going to say that certain people are sending you death threats, give fucking proof of those people sending you death threats because right now it's incredibly Sus that the people you dislike are conveniently sending you death threats. In your own words, you're a coward.

6. Your server has a 'stance' against politics but allows hate speech on your server, WHICH IS IN DIRECT VIOLATION TO DISCORD'S TOS. I find that just fucking haliariuos that I , apperantly, can't talk about Palestine or Israel, but I can unironically call a gay person a faggot or say women deserve to be in the kitchen if I just spoiler it

7. You do not know if those people do or don't do more for their activism beyond the internet. Maybe they don't have the means to be active politically in real life, maybe they are active both on the internet and real life. You just don't know. Saying that their activism is invalid because it's on the internet and yours is, supposedly, in real life, reeks of pick me energy.

Writing a massive CoD tea post, if you don't want to see it please block the tag CallofDrama. Love you guys take care of yourselves watch this space.

[rhythmicpirate]

MILGRAM current theories and personal verdicts

Spoilers under the cut!

Haruka

Judging by the PV it looks like poor Haruka's only crime was murdering a dog that his mother brought for him. It seemed as though the dog appeared to him as a wild animal though, and he only acted out fear. Perhaps that mistake is where his depression came from? He needs to see if there's like a therapy place in Milgram. Personal Verdict:Innocent

Yuno

I...I don't actually know what her crime is? I mean I know she had to have killed someone but I can't figure out who? Probably one her clients as I believe, isn't she like a prostitute or something? Verdict:Unsure? Will have to wait for part 2.

Fuuta

Compared to the other crimes here, Cyber-bulling is kind of tame. It's still wrong, of course, but we've got people here who got multiple deaths. Still his quick to anger personality doesn't give me good vibes. Not to mention playing the role of hero isn't a good excuse for your evil. Verdict:Guilty

Mu

Bullying in real life can do a lot of damage to a person. I believe that at the time she thought her actions were completely justified, especially considering that she felt trapped by them. But now that her personality has done a full 180 saying that "she did nothing wrong" ironically enough I'm starting to have my doubts about her so called "bullies". Not to mention she is in the 1% (rich), and probally a transfer student. Verdict:Innocent, but may lean towards guilty later.

Shidou

I don't think Shidou murdered anyone. Instead I think that all his paitents died on their own due to bad caretaking. The stealing of the Organs was a lie he made up so he could get Es to be innocent. In reality he probally donated them to something. However, the guilt of not being able to save a single paitent made him spiral into depression and maybe the reason he wants to die so badly is because thinks it's the only way to make things right. Verdict:Innocent

Mahiru

Look at the poor girl. It looked like her lover was abusing her either emotionally or psychically (as assumed by her end frame, a look of fear clearly is visible). Yet she was blind to do this and kept on believing that he truly loved her. However her true colors soon shown at the surface and decided to end it herself. It's not good that Kotoko reminded her of her wounds after words. Verdict:Innocent

Kazui

He seem to really care about the other prisoners in the Milgram and dosen't seem to mind getting a guilty verdict. Infact he seems like he dosen't care if he gets guilty or not, maybe he secretly wants one too. His actions are definetly strange at times, but I just can't bring myself to hate the guy either. If I drank beer I'd probably drink it with him. Also I'm not so sure he cheated on his wife, rather he let someone who he had loved dearly go, or they broke up with him. Verdict:Innocent

Amane

She's still so young, only a child, I'd feel guilty if I gave her a guilty. Yet...I'm worried. Is she to far gone in her own delusions that the cult had brainwashed her into believing. Is there still a chance to redeem her or was us letting her down the final straw? I don't think Verdict:Reluctant Innocent.

Mikoto

It's my theory that Mikoto is suffering from Split Personality AKA Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). One personality appears to be ruthless and rude while the other one appears to be polite. However, this evil personality may be less protective then we thought, and maybe selfish as well. Either way, that other personality may be a bit much. Verdict:Guilty

Kotoko

A wise Batman once said "If you kill a killer the number of killers in this world stays the same." I think that really applies to Kotoko. Sure she believes she's fighting for justice, but wolves are often used as symbols of wrath. Not to mention she might be getting more dangerous due to her use of bats on the other prisoers. Even if they do turn out to be "guilty" in the end, does that mean she has the right to do those things to her. Verdict:Guilty

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hi, I simply need to rant. I have an abusive mom and some kind of (unclear which) dissociative disorder as a result. So it is not "made up" "not as bad" etc. I have psychologists proof that my mom fucked me up. But I can't tell it anyone. There's this family friend, who's in her 40s, and we used to be pretty close, not as much anymore, and she grew up with an abusive mom too. From what I heard, her mom wasn't as different from mine. But this friend, married very young an abusive man, got 2 children, worked and cared for them until she had a horrible burnout from which it took years to recover. She knows I have "some kind of mental illness maybe" but she, truly in her heart, believes that the only way to get a mental illness is by overworking and getting a burnout. In her eyes I was always kinda pretending, at least acting it worse. Because I never worked I couldn't have a mental illness. And because she likes my mom. She kinda acts as if she has the copyright for having an abusive mom. And it is so damn frustration because.... She knows how it is, she could see the signs, if she would accept the possiblity.

On the other hand I don't want to, you know, shock her by giving her my diagnosis and telling her all the shit my mom does because... I don't want her to feel bad. That she likes someone, that's as bad as her mom was. I think that would really fuck her up. And also I don't want to destroy one of my moms few friendships because... She's no inherently abusive person. She just acts like that towards me so, there's no reason to deprive her of friends. It's not like that would help me anyhow or prevent anyone from getting hurt. I was the only possible victim and I am already destroyed.

And there's my family. My cousin is only 10 years younger than my mom (big family, her mom the oldest, mine the youngest) and they kinda grew up together, went to parties etc. Which is probably why I am too so close to her. But she too doesn't want to hear one bad word about my mom. I was occasionally giving hints and I could see that she got pissed at me and thought I was lying. Plus, her mom was very sick all her life and, at least, neglected her so maybe if I told her, it would seem normal to her.

It is so frustrating, I want people to believe me, to treat me the way I deserve (like, not talking shit about me because I can't work) etc but they will probably never believe me.

That's it. Fin.

Hi Fin,

I'm sorry about what you've been going through.

It's ridiculous to assume that the only way to get a mental illness or trauma-related disorder is by burnout from overworking and I'm sorry that she imposed that idea on you. It's possible that she may not react appropriately if you told her what you have or suspect you might. It sounds unlikely to me that someone who would express those kinds of sentiments to be understanding and supportive of other possibilities.

Regardless, if you do decide to tell her, her reaction is not your responsibility. You cannot protect people from their own emotions, you know? If she doesn't want to continue being friends with her mom that's her choice. If she acts based on the information you tell her, that's also not your responsibility.

You may say that she isn't inherently abusive if she's presumably only been mistreating you, but anyone who treats you like that is abusive period. That's never okay. If someone doesn't want to be her friend over what she's done to you, that's not your fault, that's hers. It's not your fault for simply speaking the truth, it's your mom's fault for mistreating you in the first place. If her reputation or friend circle is ruined over that, perhaps she should've thought twice about abusing you.

I believe you. We believe you. But please know that you do not need other people to validate what is already true. What happened to you was real and nobody can take that from you. There are people out there who may not believe you, gaslight you, or perhaps they've normalized abusive behavior themselves, but those people are not reliable to verify what is real. You know your truth.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[draganasimpsforjeff]

Hi can I have a creepypasta match-up please if you have time no rush!

Im 5'5 and im biromantic, I lean on guys more than girls.

My style is punk but it change whatever mood im in, I have long wavy brown hair, hazel eyes, and tan skin!

My hobbies are playing video games, watching movies, going out shopping and listening to music. I really want motivation to paint and do art but im always tired

My favorite seasons are winter and autumn it just comforts me tbh, there's something about it lol

My personality type is intj, im usually calm and chill but sometimes I can get very chaotic when I feel like it.

My positive traits are being a good listener, protective, laid back, going with the flow.

My bad traits are self critical, getting frustrated and angry at small things, being sensitive or crying out of nowhere, being chaotic and feral.

My favorite animals are frogs, cats, bunnies and lizards!

I struggled alot with anxiety and depression, ocd, and possibly adhd (i have no clue but my doctor said I could probably have it) dissociation disorder.

My date ideals are probably looking at the night sky in the woods or at the beach, going to the movies and arcades. At home we'd just watch Netflix and spend time together! I don't mind cuddles or anykind of kiss!

My love language is quality time and giving gifts. <3

Thank you for doing this when you get the time I hope everything is going okay too!

Oh I feel so bad for how long you've had to wait! But I'm getting to it now 😋

I MATCH YOU WITH:

Bloody Painter

Ugh omg okay this is too cute

I feel like Helen is such a homebody that even with small things like going out to shop is a big move for him (he looks a bit more normal compared to others to so it help with going out in public

He needs a better wardrobe anyways as a lot of his clothes have paint stains

He's not really the type to play video games but he still enjoys watching you play or listening to you in the background especially when you rage quit 🤣🤣

If you have motivation to paint boy oh boy is he the best teacher

Everyone is under the impression they have to be the best especially with art. But art is subjective there is no wrong way to do it

However if you need to learn basics, he'll spent hours with you and share his tools

He also has beginner books for tips and ideas

But if you don't have motivation he has no problem with you just watching him while he still teaches you with his techniques

I feel like Helen would be such a shocker when it comes to date especially if it's in the woods, he'll set up a cute but reasonable date site like maybe some lights through tree branches, a table big enough for you, chairs, maybe some flowers in a vase

Lowkey feel like he's the type to find a flower and place it in your hair 🌸

However with arcades, you could easily beat him a 5 yr old with not the best motor skills could beat him 🤣

You guys definitely spend a lot of time together even if jts in the same room, it's just so safe and comforting to be near each others presence 💖

He would love to give gifts his would just be his artwork be whether it's his emotions towards you, him recreating a photo he took of you and painted it, or sometimes even your favorite songs in a very life like way

Like however the song sounds or feels he'll find a way to paint the way it feels or might look like as well as the color he thinks are associated with it

He does give you things you like tho it's just if he has no money or not sure how to get it he'll paint something for you

He loves your personality tho, he's a narcissist but nothing compares to your own opinion about him

Those people still deserve love 💘

He's very quiet and reserved unless really bothered or really comfortable around someone aka you then he'll become talkative

He needs someone with your personality to mix with his, you guys are very similar but in different ways kind of like ☯️

Oh gosh he'll definitely help you catch random animals as long as there is enough room.and resources to help them. He hates when ppl just take in animals bc of how cute they are but have no way of taking care of them

Luckily a lot of people in the mansion have disorders such as yours and he's very observant so he tries to find a slow and gradual but healthy way to help with your triggers

Tries his best to keep you away from certain situations even tho sometimes they can't be helped

He'll keep a close eye on you especially if you dissociate. He's never really experienced but as much as he can read about it he will never know how it feels

Obviously he's very creative and if you need a certain way to organize your schedule or work area, whatever and wherever you spend a lot of time doing, he'll try to customize it for you (as someone with adhd myself I have to do a lot of color coordination)

Helps you with reasonable and small daily tasks

Not to make you sound like a dog but he'll give you a small treat with each task completed

You drank a bottle of water? X amount of kisses

You took a shower? (Honestly he'd join it cuz I feel like he forgets too sometimes haha) but he'll pamper you during it

Whatever small goals you have you guys will discuss your goals, whether that be a new game, making him go places, etc you get the idea

I hope you liked this 😁😁

[marshmallowprotection]

hey! SE Saeran anon here! I agree Unknown/SE Saeran is a diff personality than Ray & Suit Saeran, bc he came to be during that 2 yr time period. But I like to believe that SE Saeran, Suit Saeran, and Ray are all aware of each other! Ik you've written abt them before but from my understanding, they aren't/don't share experiences and memories? Sorry if I'm interpreting wrong!

That's actually a whole point of what happens with dissociative identity disorder.

You are pointedly disconnected from your trauma to the point that it's protecting you from something that is a very bad and detrimental to you. Not every single person within the system will be a trauma holder. Not every person is going to have the same memories and not every person is going to know what's going on at all times with the body. That's the whole part of the dissociation. Most people that find out that they are not a singlet tend to find out when they're older in life, when you start missing hours and days, being places that you don't remember getting to, and vice versa. There may be a very specific reason why you don't know, trauma is a very touchy subject.

I guess let me preface this with the fact that I link Another Story and the Casual/Deep Routes. I do I know that many people don't do that but that's what I do and that's why I do certain things when I'm writing with them.

I can say this from secondhand experience with my partner who I've been with before knew he had DID. They did not appear and come forward until the situation called for it, and we found out that way. In my take on SE Saeran, he was once Unknown, and now he's just going by Saeran at this point. He is trying to get his life back together and just as he starting to open back up and work on everything that he's been pushing away, Ray awakens once more and is needed. Saeran is overwhelmed and cannot handle is going on around him and Ray can. That was his purpose when he was the host of the system.

He was dormant, meaning that he was literally gone for two years. He woke up in a reality where he didn't exist anymore, he was living in the bunker, and he was nowhere near Magenta and he had no explanation for it. He had no way of accessing the memories that belong to Saeran. He can't just magically connect to those pieces because that's not something that he has. He has to learn by looking through things and asking a lot of questions. His role is kind of a caretaker because he can do anything without complaining and take care of everything.

Now, in comparison to that, Suit Saeran was not dormant in this timeline. He just wasn't needed, not in the way that he was needed when Ray was around. Unknown was able to do what he had to do and be a strong person so Suit never had to go step into things. And, when Saeran starts to really suppress his anger because he's scared of hurting people, this is too much for Suit, he'll tell the household to call him Grave later on, and he lashes out. He has held on to all of the anger that they had, and when someone isn't dealing with anger how they used to it makes him want to lash out. He comes out because Saeran is scared of being angry but the thing is, it's okay to be angry, it's just you have to know how to express it without hurting others. Grave hasn't quite learned how to do that. He contains a lot of the same memories that Saeran has.

I implied in the one shot that was his that they were co-conscious sometimes. I could describe that to you how I've heard it described to me before and that's like two people being in the front seat of a car together. Like you can both see where you're going with one person might be steering in the other person might be directing, it's different for everyone.

There can be times when two personalities blur together and that tends to happen with Grave and Unknown a lot. It's just that Lila, my MC, had no way of knowing that. Nobody did. Saeran was aware of Grave, but he didn't think Grave was going to be a problem because he had been quiet for quite some time.

There's Su-Jin as well, but you didn't ask about their little so I won't go into detail about that unless you want me to. They do become aware of each other after this point so while they do know that everyone exist at this point they may not always be connecting with each other. It's a little hazy as Saeran gets used to this sensation of having more than himself around again. As they try to learn how to work together and exist together.

Yes, they can talk to each other and interact with each other but they may not hold some of the same memories. Again, that's the point of the disassociation. Sometimes they may have shared memories if they were co-conscious during the same situation or maybe they have an idea of what they were going to be doing that day but not quite what the other was doing at that moment. If you're talking about memories in the context of what may have happened in the past, then no they don't always share memories like that. Like, Saeran cannot recall things that happened to Ray. Su-Jin holds very specific trauma memories from their childhood that some of them can't even remember with glaring detail, for example.

Does that make sense? I can try to explain it further if you need me to or give you a reference material to read up on or watch. Cause, I'm just a singlet doing my best to be mindful and respectful. They are aware of each other once they make their presence known, meaning Ray, Grave and Su-Jin. Like, Ray didn't tell Saeran that he was there until the third time he happened to wake up in the body, he was scared and thought it was a fluke.