#math crimes

[canisalbus]

math test machete, what crimes will he commit

.

[rho-of-cabbage]

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a 7-adic bar.

The last one (carrying a beer as she walks in) orders six beers, and the bartender says “Ok that’ll be $60. I’ll have it out to you once I’ve taken the other orders.” The one before her orders 42 beers. The one before him orders 294 beers. The bartender goes “I see where this is going. You all should know your limits,” pays them 10$, and grabs the last mathematician’s beer before kicking them all out.

[melonishus]

01001000 01101111 01110111 00100000 01101101 01110101 01100011 01101000 00100000 01100100 01101001 01110010 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101000 01101111 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101101 01100101 01100001 01110011 01110101 01110010 01100101 01110011 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100110 01100101 01100101 01110100 00100000 01100010 01111001 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100110 01100101 01100101 01110100 00100000 01100010 01111001 00100000 01100110 01101001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100110 01100101 01100101 01110100 00111111

Hacking into the wireframe

How much dirt is in a hole that measures four feet by four feet by five feet?

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

demanding a series in the same vein (heh, vein) as Dexter/Hannibal wherein a prolific serial killer plays cat & mouse with the police--except the serial killer in question is a preteen schoolgirl. this would make for compelling television due to the fact that middle school frequently causes girls to become deranged, and more media should reflect this

[brucewaynehater101]

I'm bad at math, but is Bruce theoretically 38 years old when he goes into the time stream?

Hear me out (and canon likes to fluncate their ages, so this is my best guess without trying to account for birthdays):

Bruce becomes the legal guardian of 9 year old Dick when he's 23. That's a 14 year difference.

Jason becomes Robin when Dick leaves at 18. Jason is 13. That's a five year difference.

Jason dies at 15, and Tim becomes Robin at 13. That's a two year difference.

The age difference between Tim and Bruce would thus be 21 years.

Tim becomes Red Robin to find Bruce at 17.

That means that Bruce had to be 38, right? Why was I imagining him closer to 50?

Adopting so many kids must have aged him

[the-least-undefinable-ordinal]

One thing I find interesting about Dr House is usually when we see him arguing with someone to get what he wants, he doesn't seem to believe his own arguments, he just tries to derive contradictions from his opponent's worldview.

*Guy who studies math voice* I'm getting a lot of math vibes from this: in math there are very few (if any) absolute truths, what we do have are the consequences of assumptions we make, the axioms we take for granted.

House seems to take a mathmatician's approach to winning arguments: he deduces what axioms the other person is working with and tries to prove that either they imply he's right or they aren't self consistent and so should be discarded.

I realize that so far it seems like regular arguing but the thing I think sets him apart is he almost never tries to get the other person to adopt part of his worldview, he limits himself to arguing within the other's framework, probably because he can tell how alien his system of morality can seem to others; the moments when we actually get a glimpse of his worldview are usually when he's getting frustrated or otherwise emotionally invested in the discussion.

[acespeon]

catch me thinking about how the Stan twins start being the antithesis to the other but end up needing to assimilate parts of their twin that they never thought they'd need

[ineffablesheets]

sherlock holmes can deduce your entire life story from your shoelaces but can’t figure out why people don’t like being called 'idiots' every five minutes

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I snuck out of school but got caught by the neighboring kindergarten, but they had a sub so I pretended to be a kindergartener for an hour so I wouldn't be sent back to class. Then the class was over and I broke into my math teacher's house, stole her purple shoelaces, pet her dog, and left through the front door. 

[gothamcity-official]

My work is doing a joint research project with WE and I’m moving to Gotham for at least 6 months very soon. Any tips for a new soon-to-be resident?

Since you are coming in with Wayne Enterprises, you likely got a kit. Ask if it's a short term or a long term kit to see what you have to get when you arrive.

Keep your gas mask on your person at all times and be aware that, even when most inmates are still in Arkham, small-time villains will also use gas attacks. Here are the most common instructions on how to keep yourself safe during any generalized gas attack.

Most tap water is unsafe, but you will be working with Wayne Enterprises and they can get the management to filter the systems properly. While you are in the WE buildings, the water will be safe. While outside the WE buildings, either boil water and let it cool down, or use a Gotham-certified filter.

Statistically, the least amount of crimes happen in Gotham on Sundays and the most happen on Wednesdays. Not that crimes stop happening or really lessen that much, but that is what the numbers say.

Here is a list of the currently active Bats and Birds. There are part time members of the Colony, but you really only need to remember those who are currently active.

If any major rogue attacks, let the Colony handle it. It is the GPD's and their jobs to handle it.

Good Luck!

[six-of-cringe]

I think that one of the reasons why people misinterpret Wylan's character and arc, among others, is because they misinterpret the relationship between him and Kaz. This post has kind of mitosised off from the BFWP (Big Fucking Wylan Post) I'm writing because it's a bit of a different focus and constitutes its own post.

A lot of people talk about Wylan's character and development as though it's meant to match Kaz's - starting out as a nice kid who the city forces to become amoral, indifferent to violence, and well-versed in crime. These qualities are usually talked about with a weird reverence as an irrefutable symbol of "badassery", as though it's always a positive development for any character regardless of the story's narrative, which annoys me but is not the topic of this post. That's part of the BFWP's job.

Following Kaz's exact development is not the point of Wylan's character. The point is that Kaz and Wylan narrative foils - very similar in many ways, but with a fundamental difference that creates the "broken mirror" effect/shows how they could have turned out if they'd chosen differently. I think that difference is how they respond when they climb out of the harbor after their respective betrayals. Narratively, Ketterdam represents a very harsh system that presents the people struggling there with very few options. You can either choose to ditch decency, play by the Barrel's rules, and live, or you can hold on to decency and die.

When Kaz returns to the streets after Jordie's death, he chooses the first option. He copes with what happened through ideas of revenge, and to survive long enough to see it he quickly turns to thievery and violence. He thinks to himself after he robs a kid for money and food that it was much easier to survive when you've left decency behind. He survived through violence, creating the Dirtyhands persona around himself for protection.

When Wylan has to fend for himself, he choses the second option. He finds "honest work" at the tannery, where they exploit workers and expose them to toxins. He wonders if he'll live long enough to use his savings to leave the city, or if the chemicals would kill him first. He was smart enough to steal and survive, but he chose decency, and with it, he chose death. There are a number of reasons why he chose differently than Kaz despite their similarities - his older age and thus more developed moral code, having no one to avenge but himself when he believed himself worthless, his more privileged upbringing, and his relatively low drive to live. Alone, he would have died.

Then Kaz steps in. Kaz's role in all the crow's lives is that, intentionally or not, his ruthless rule of the Barrel creates a sort of haven that allows them to survive where they would have died had they stayed alone. Wylan is a really clear example of this, and though Kaz's intentions were at least partly self-serving, his involvement both kept Wylan from dying of exposure or street violence as well as prevented him from needing to do the more terrible things that it takes to survive in the Barrel. Throughout the books, we see Kaz kind of taking the brunt of enacting violence in Wylan's place - traumatizing Smeet's daughter, killing the clerk on the lighthouse. Wylan could get by making explosives in the workshop rather than having to shoot or stab or beat the life out of people. And at the end of the series, Kaz sees to it that he never will have to. Of course Wylan did bad stuff to survive when working with the Dregs, it's the Barrel. But the extent is greatly lessened because of Kaz's involvement.

Wylan's arc was never about becoming comfortable with violence, or becoming just like Kaz - the way people characterize him as some sort of ruthless murder mastermind is inaccurate and redundant with Kaz's character. He isn't nonchalant or celebratory about crime or death or violence by the end of the book. He doesn't HAVE to become like Kaz, because Kaz himself gave him the space to continue being decent, intentionally or otherwise. Understanding that dynamic is important to understanding what Wylan is like as a character and as a person. If you assume Wylan's trajectory is to become "Kaz 2.0", then you're going to mischaracterize him. I've seen posts about how Kaz was the Jordie that he didn't have to Wylan, and I think that makes a lot more sense. Because Kaz is willing to do the horrible things in his stead, Wylan has the third option otherwise impossible in the Barrel - maintaining his decency and surviving.

[leibnizstan]

(Not) Fun Math Fact

In 1978, after 19 years of unsuccessful study towards a PhD, candidate Theodore Streleski murdered his advisor with a ball-peen hammer. When he was released after 7 years in prison, he stated "I have no intention of killing again. On the other hand, I cannot predict the future."

[plutotimeslot]

forensic science class shenanigans

In Junior Year (3rd) of High School I took a forensic science class. Normally classes had around 30 kids, but this was a new class at the school so there was only 15 weirdos in this one.

Loved the class, loved the teacher, learned a lot. Here's what happened.

Found out how absolute shit human memory is

Found out what bugs will eat me when I die

CUE existential crisis

Talked A LOT about geometry and what blood spatters can tell you

Talked about how if you purposely use your nondominant hand to kill someone, you can tell they are using the wrong hand. (with blood spatter patterns)

Laughed about criminals' stupidity

Laughed about police's stupidity

Put fiber and our own hair under a microscope

Was able to (fairly) accurately determine if classmates had EVER dyed and/or bleached their hair before.

Got to find out that my town is into choking, they just aren't good at doing it safely.

CUE existential crisis

Got to hold a brain (a real one, VERY wrinkly VERY textured)

Got to hold a swollen heart (some sort of heart disease)

Got to hold lungs (VERY spongey)

Get to touch fat (slimy and greasy, ew)

CUE existential crisis

Decided I never wanted to smell formaldehyde EVER AGAIN

Got to collect evidence from a real crime scene my teacher put together for us in an empty class room.

There were bloody footprints from shoes she borrowed from a fellow teacher.

Gave a presentation on who was the culprit and why for our final.

In the presentation my friend presented the last few slides

At the same time as the presentation, a Senior event was happening (involving the whole school) so I'm Feeling 22 played over the loud speakers during our presentation.

As my friend was finishing the slide the song was on full blast so the end of our presentation went like:

"And Mr. C took the hammer," EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT "and he swung once," IF WE JUST KEEP DANCING "twice, three times!" LIKE WE'RE TWENTY TWO-O-O

Thanks Taylor, you really enhanced our forensic science final lol

[proshippy-fox]

can people PLEASE stop saying proshippers have to be supportive of radqueers..... yeah I like weird fiction and yeah I think people who claim to be "transmexican" or "transkorean" are being disrespectful. those aren't linked to each other.

[stonerfromlesbos]

i hate school.

[krokaxe]

What if I told you that this is only one branch of a much larger tree?