#made myself way too emotional thinking about this

[hisfavegirl]

Fire Of Passion - Aegon Targaryen x Twinsister!Reader.

Summary : Despite your love for him, being Aegon’s betrothed was no easy feat. His wandering nature often drove you to anger, jealousy, and despair. The nights when he stumbled into the Keep reeking of wine and sin were endless. Yet, somehow, you always found yourself forgiving him, pulled back by the way his silver hair glimmered in the firelight or the softness of his lips against yours as he murmured promises of change.

Word Count : 13k

Warning : Teasing, P in V, edging, oral sex (f receiving), overstimulated, aegon being sub, fingering, rough sex, public sex (kinda).

Aegon Targaryen Masterlist.

House Of Th Dragon Masterlist.

and also big thanks to @zaldritzosrose for let me using yours beautiful dividers 🫶🏻.

The early morning light filtered softly through the heavy drapes of the Red Keep as you made your way to Aegon’s chambers. Your heart pounded with a mixture of anger, hurt, and a lingering sense of betrayal. The sound of your maid’s quiet sobs outside your door had confirmed what you feared: Aegon had yet again overstepped the bounds of decency, disregarding the love and trust you had tried so desperately to maintain between you.

As you approached his door, you took a deep breath, steadying yourself before pushing it open without knocking. The familiar scent of wine and stale air hit you as you entered, and there he was—Aegon, sprawled lazily across his bed, the evidence of his indulgences scattered around the room.

“Aegon,” you said, your voice cold and firm, startling him awake. His bleary eyes blinked open, and he sat up slowly, a look of confusion turning into one of guilt as he recognized the fury in your gaze.

“Love —” he began, but you cut him off sharply.

“Don’t,” you hissed, stepping closer, your arms crossed tightly over your chest. “I don’t want to hear your excuses, Aegon. Not this time.”

He sighed heavily, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and rubbing his face. “I didn’t mean—”

“You didn’t mean to?” you interrupted, your voice rising in anger. “How many times have I heard that from you? You didn’t mean to hurt me, you didn’t mean to disgrace me, but you keep doing it.”

Aegon looked away, guilt shadowing his features. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I know I’ve messed up.”

“Messed up?” You laughed bitterly. “You’ve done more than just ‘mess up.’ Do you have any idea what it feels like to have a servant cry to me about how you forced her to your bed?”

“I was drunk,” Aegon defended weakly, standing and trying to approach you, but you stepped back, the sting of his actions too fresh. “I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“Drunk or not, it doesn’t excuse what you did!” you exclaimed, your hands trembling at your sides. “You are a prince, Aegon. You have responsibilities, to me, to our family. Do you think this is what I signed up for? To be humiliated, over and over again?”

“I know I’ve hurt you,” Aegon said, his voice low and filled with remorse. “I hate myself for it. I love you, and I don’t know why I do these things. I don’t know how to stop.”

Your heart clenched at his words, the pain in his voice conflicting with the anger in your heart. “If you love me, Aegon, then show it. Stop hurting me. Stop hurting yourself.”

Aegon reached for your hand, his grip gentle yet desperate. “I want to change. I’ll do whatever it takes. Just… don’t give up on me.”

You looked into his eyes, searching for the sincerity you so desperately wanted to believe in. “This is the last time, Aegon. I mean it. If you can’t change, if you won’t try, then I can’t stay.”

“I will,” he promised, his voice thick with emotion. “I swear to you, I’ll be better.”

You nodded slowly, the ache in your heart easing just a little. “Then prove it. Not with words, but with actions.”

As you turned to leave, Aegon caught your hand, pulling you into a gentle embrace. “I will,” he whispered. “For you, for us.”

You allowed yourself a brief moment of solace in his arms, hoping against hope that this time, he would keep his word.

You felt your body soften in Aegon's arms, the tension slowly dissipating as you let out a long, shaky breath. His embrace was warm, familiar, and for a moment, it almost felt like everything might be okay. Aegon's lips brushed against your ear, his breath hot as he whispered, "Stay a little longer, won't you? Join me for a bath."

His request was gentle, almost pleading, and you couldn't help the small, soft laugh that escaped your lips. The anger that had been simmering just moments ago melted away, replaced by a warmth that only he could ignite.

You felt the unmistakable press of his cock against you, a clear sign that your presence, even in anger, had stirred something in him. He always had a way of finding your fiery temper irresistible, and you knew it.

"Aegon," you murmured, pulling back just enough to meet his gaze. His eyes, still tinged with remorse, now held a glimmer of mischief.

"You're impossible." He grinned, his hands lingering at your waist as he leaned in, his lips brushing against your neck. "I can't help it. You're even more hot when you're angry."

You rolled your eyes, a playful smile tugging at the corners of your mouth despite yourself. "Flattery won't get you anywhere this time."

"Won't it?" Aegon teased, his voice low and seductive. He kissed your shoulder, trailing his lips along your collarbone. "Stay, just for a little while."

You bit your lip, momentarily tempted by his touch, but you knew better. "As much as l'd love to, I can't. Mother's waiting for me."

Aegon groaned softly, his arms tightening around you as if reluctant to let go. "She can wait a little longer."

You laughed again, placing a hand on his chest to gently push him back. "No, Aegon. I've kept her waiting long enough."

He sighed, resting his forehead against yours. "Fine," he relented, though his disappointment was evident. "But tonight... you're mine."

Your heart fluttered at the possessiveness in his tone, and you nodded. "Tonight."

With a final, lingering kiss on your lips, Aegon released you, watching as you stepped away. "Don't keep me waiting too long," he called after you as you made your way to the door.

"I won't," you promised, casting him a fond smile over your shoulder before slipping out of the room.

As you walked through the corridors of the Red Keep, the echoes of your conversation with Aegon lingered in your mind. There was still a long way to go, but for the first time in a while, you felt a glimmer of hope that perhaps, just perhaps, things could be different.

As you entered your mother’s chambers, the warm light filtering through the windows highlighted the intricate tapestries and elegant furnishings. Your sister, Helaena, sat beside your mother, engrossed in a discussion with the royal seamstress. Swatches of fabric in shades of gold and emerald lay spread across the table, and the delicate beading of your wedding gown caught the light as the seamstress adjusted it on a nearby mannequin.

Helaena’s face lit up as she saw you. “Oh, there you are! We were just discussing the final touches on your gown. Isn’t it beautiful?”

You gave the dress a cursory glance, the weight of the upcoming nuptials pressing on your mind. With a playful, yet slightly sarcastic smirk, you remarked, “I’m sure it’s lovely. Not that it’ll matter much after the ceremony when Aegon will be more interested in getting me out of it.”

The room fell into a brief, stunned silence. Helaena stifled a giggle behind her hand, while the seamstress suddenly found the hem of the gown incredibly fascinating. Alicent, however, fixed you with a sharp, disapproving glare.

“Must you always be so improper?” she chided, her tone stern but tinged with exasperation. “This is a sacred ceremony, a union blessed by the gods. You should show more respect.”

You shrugged nonchalantly, moving to the chaise and reclining comfortably. “Oh, Mother, don’t be so serious. The gods have had plenty of opportunities to bless this union.”

Alicent’s lips pressed into a thin line, her knuckles whitening as she clasped her hands tightly in her lap. “You should conduct yourself with dignity and decorum, especially now. The eyes of the court will be on you.”

You softened slightly, recognizing the worry in her eyes. “I understand, Mother. I’m sorry if I offended you. It’s just… Aegon and I have always had a more… informal way of expressing our affections.”

Alicent sighed, some of the tension leaving her shoulders. “I know, but appearances are important. Especially for you both. The realm needs to see unity, strength, and propriety.”

Helaena, sensing the need to lighten the mood, chimed in with a gentle smile. “Besides, you’ll look like a queen in this gown. Aegon won’t be able to take his eyes off you.”

You chuckled softly, reaching out to squeeze Helaena’s hand. “He never does, no matter what I’m wearing.”

Alicent’s expression softened at your exchange, her maternal pride shining through her worry. “Just promise me you’ll try to behave during the ceremony. For the family’s sake.”

You nodded, meeting her gaze with sincerity. “I promise, Mother. I’ll do my best to make you proud.”

Satisfied, Alicent turned back to the seamstress, resuming their discussion about the final alterations. As you watched her, a pang of guilt tugged at your heart. You knew your playful irreverence often caused her worry, but it was your way of coping with the pressures of your impending role as Aegon’s wife. Still, you resolved to temper your wit with grace, at least for the sake of those who cared for you.

As the conversation continued around you, you leaned back, allowing yourself a moment of peace, knowing that soon, the weight of the crown would rest upon your shoulders.

You leaned back lazily on the chaise, your fingers idly tracing patterns on the soft fabric as your mother, Alicent, meticulously examined a selection of ornate headpieces laid out before her. She moved with a determined grace, her eyes scanning each intricate design, from gold filigree adorned with emeralds to delicate silver circlets set with sapphires. Her determination to make your wedding with Aegon a grand affair was evident in every careful decision she made.

“This one,” she murmured, lifting a diadem encrusted with shimmering green and gold gems. “It will complement the gown beautifully, and it symbolizes the strength of our house.”

You sighed softly, watching her with a mixture of affection and resignation. You knew that, for Alicent, this wedding was more than a union of love—it was a statement, a declaration of power and legacy. “Mother, does it truly matter which headpiece I wear? Aegon will hardly notice, and the court will have their opinions regardless.”

Alicent turned to you, her gaze steady but softened by a hint of concern. “It matters because you are not just marrying Aegon. You are a princess of the Seven Kingdoms, daughter of the king and queen. This wedding must be a testament to the strength of our house, to the purity of your Valyrian blood.”

You shifted slightly, the weight of her words pressing down on you. “I understand the importance, Mother. But sometimes, it feels like this wedding is more about politics than love.”

Alicent’s expression faltered for a moment, a flicker of vulnerability crossing her face. She moved to sit beside you, placing a gentle hand on yours. “I know you love Aegon. And he loves you, in his way. But there is more at stake than just your happiness. Your marriage secures the future of our house, strengthens our claim, and ensures the legacy of our bloodline.”

You nodded slowly, understanding the weight of her intentions but still feeling the tug of frustration. “I love him, Mother. I truly do. But I also know that if I hadn’t agreed to this marriage, Father might have conceded to Rhaenyra’s request to marry me to Jace. And that was something you could never allow.”

Alicent’s jaw tightened, and she looked away, her hands clasping in her lap. “Rhaenyra has always sought to undermine our family, to claim what is rightfully yours and Aegon’s. I could not stand by and let that happen. Your union with Aegon solidifies our position, our power.”

You leaned forward, capturing her gaze with yours. “I understand why you did it. But sometimes, I wonder… what would have happened if I had been betrothed to Jace? Would we have found a different path to peace?”

Alicent shook her head firmly. “There is no peace with Rhaenyra. Not while she vies for the throne. Your marriage to Aegon ensures our survival. It’s not just about love, it’s about duty.”

A heavy silence fell between you, the unspoken tensions of the past lingering in the air. Finally, you sighed, offering a faint smile. “I do love Aegon, Mother. And I will do my duty. But I hope, in time, we can find a way to bridge the divide in our family.”

Alicent’s eyes softened, and she reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I hope for the same, my dear. More than anything, I want you to be happy. And I believe that, together, you and Aegon can bring strength and unity to our house.”

You leaned into her touch, finding comfort in her presence despite the weight of her expectations. “I’ll do my best, for you, for Aegon, and for our family.”

Alicent smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “That’s all I ask.”

As you both sat in the quiet of the chamber, the flickering candlelight casting shadows on the walls, you felt a renewed sense of resolve. Your marriage to Aegon was more than a union of love—it was a battle for the future of your house, a fight you were determined to win.

The sun had set, casting a warm, golden glow over the Red Keep as you made your way to your chambers. Your mother, had released you from her meticulous planning session, but only briefly. She had made it clear you were expected to join her for supper in her private solar, a family gathering meant to discuss the final arrangements for your upcoming wedding to Aegon.

After bathing and slipping into a fresh gown—a deep green silk adorned with subtle gold embroidery—you made your way down the familiar corridors, your footsteps echoing softly against the stone floors. The palace was alive with the muted hum of evening activity, servants bustling about, and the occasional murmur of conversation floating through the air.

As you approached the entrance to your mother’s solar, the soft murmur of voices reached your ears. You pushed open the heavy wooden door, stepping into the warm, inviting space illuminated by a cluster of candles and the flickering light of the hearth.

Inside, the scene was both familiar and comforting. Your mother sat at one end of the table, her posture graceful and poised, engaged in a quiet conversation with Helaena. They were discussing the floral arrangements and decorations for the wedding, their voices a gentle hum of excitement and anticipation. Helaena, with her dreamy expression, nodded along, her delicate fingers toying with a small bunch of lavender.

On the other side of the room, Aegon lounged in a chair, a goblet of wine cradled in his hand. His face was flushed with the warmth of the drink, a lazy smile playing on his lips as he exchanged words with Aemond, who stood by the fireplace, arms crossed, his expression as stoic as ever.

You entered quietly, your presence noted by Aegon, who lifted his gaze and offered you a lopsided grin. “Ah, the bride-to-be has graced us with her presence,” he drawled, raising his goblet in a mock toast.

You arched a brow, making your way over to him. “Is that your first or third goblet of the evening, Aegon?”

Aegon chuckled, taking a long sip. “Does it matter love? It’s a celebration, after all"

“A celebration that hasn’t happened yet,” you reminded him, though your tone was light. You glanced at Aemond, who offered you a subtle nod in acknowledgment.

“Mother insisted on this supper,” Aemond interjected, his voice calm and measured. “She wants everything to be perfect.”

“Of course she does,” you replied, moving to sit beside Aegon. “Perfection is her forte.”

Alicent looked up from her conversation, her eyes softening as she observed the interaction. “I want this wedding to be memorable,” she said, her tone gentle but firm. “For both of you. It is not just a union, but a symbol of the strength and unity of our house.”

You met her gaze, offering a small smile. “We appreciate everything you’re doing, Mother.”

Helaena chimed in, her voice airy and melodic. “The flowers will be beautiful. White roses and lilacs, with touches of gold ribbon. It will look like a dream.”

Aegon leaned closer to you, his breath warm against your ear. “A dream, indeed,” he whispered, the mischief in his eyes unmistakable. “But I’m more interested in what comes after the wedding.”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes, gently elbowing him. “Behave yourself, Aegon.”

He laughed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. “Only if you promise to keep me entertained.”

The supper proceeded with a mixture of light-hearted banter and serious discussion. Alicent’s attention to detail was evident in every aspect, from the seating arrangements to the choice of music. Aemond contributed thoughtfully, offering strategic suggestions on security and logistics, while Helaena continued to dreamily discuss the aesthetics.

As the evening wore on, you found yourself relaxing, the tension from earlier dissipating in the warmth of your family’s presence. Despite the complexities and challenges that lay ahead, for this moment, you were simply a daughter, a sister, and a bride-to-be, surrounded by those you loved most.

The meal was a lavish affair, the table laden with dishes that smelled as divine as they looked. You sat beside Aegon, attempting to focus on your food and the polite conversation around you. Alicent was discussing the final guest list with Helena, while Aemond offered a few terse comments about security.

But your concentration was waning.

Aegon's hand had found its way under the table, resting on your thigh. At first, it was a gentle presence, a reassuring touch meant to calm your nerves. But as the minutes passed, his fingers began to trace slow, deliberate circles, inching higher with each pass. The warmth of his hand against your skin sent a flush of heat through your body, your breath hitching slightly.

You speared a piece of meat on your plate, bringing it to your mouth in an attempt to stifle the soft moan that threatened to escape. Aegon, seemingly unfazed, continued his conversation with Aemond, discussing the details of the upcoming wedding as if his hand wasn't setting your body on fire beneath the table.

"The banners should reflect the combined strength of our house," Aemond was saying, his tone serious. "Black and red, to honor our Targaryen heritage."

"Indeed," Aegon replied, his voice smooth. His thumb pressed into your thigh, making you grip the edge of the table tightly. "And gold, to represent our status as rulers."

You closed your eyes for a moment, struggling to control your breathing. Each subtle movement of Aegon's hand sent waves of pleasure coursing through you, and you bit your lip to keep from making a sound. He was utterly shameless, his fingers slipping ever so slightly higher, teasing the sensitive bud just beneath your small cloth.

Alicent turned her attention to you, her smile warm. "What do you think, dear? About the color scheme?"

You opened your eyes, swallowing hard before offering a strained smile. "I think... it sounds perfect, Mother."

Aegon's fingers pressed just a bit harder, and you nearly dropped your fork. Your heart pounded in your chest as you fought to maintain your composure. He leaned closer, his breath warm against your ear. "You're doing so well, love" he whispered, his tone laced with amusement.

You shot him a warning glance, but the twinkle in his eyes told you he was thoroughly enjoying your predicament. His hand continued its maddening exploration, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. You gripped your napkin, twisting it in your lap as you struggled to keep from moaning aloud.

Just as you felt yourself teetering on the brink, Aegon withdrew his hand. The absence of his touch was both a relief and a cruel disappointment. Your body ached with unfulfilled desire, and you exhaled shakily, glaring at him from the corner of your eye.

Aegon, ever the tease, simply smirked and took a leisurely sip of his wine, acting as if nothing had happened. He returned to his conversation with Aemond, leaving you flustered and frustrated.

As the meal continued, you did your best to regain your composure, though your mind was already plotting how to repay Aegon for his teasing later that night.

The warm glow of the torches in your mother's solar illuminated the room as you sat across from your mother, her voice steady as she went over the finer details of your upcoming wedding. Helaena sat to your side, absentmindedly twirling a strand of her pale hair while humming softly to herself. The mood was peaceful, but your thoughts were anything but.

Your mind drifted to the earlier moment at the dinner table, the warmth of Aegon's hand on your thigh, the way his touch had teased you and left you craving more. You barely heard Alicent's words as they blended into the background, replaced by the memory of his whisper against your ear. Your body still tingled with the remnants of his teasing.

"Are you even listening?" Alicent's sharp voice cut through your reverie, jolting you back to the present.

Your head snapped up, and you saw her frowning at you, her hands clasped tightly in front of her. "I-yes, Mother, I'm listening," you stammered, though the guilty flush on your cheeks likely betrayed you.

She was asking if you preferred red or gold accents on the canopy," Alicent said, her tone tinged with exasperation. "It's an important decision. These are the final touches that will be remembered."

You blinked, struggling to focus. "Gold," you said quickly, hoping that was the right answer. "Gold will complement everything beautifully."

Helena giggled softly, her dreamy smile never fading. "You're thinking of something else, aren't you? Or someone else."

Your cheeks burned hotter, and you shot her a glare. "Don't be ridiculous, Helaena."

Alicent sighed, setting down the fabric samples in her hand. "You've been distracted all evening. This is your wedding we're planning. Surely you understand how important this is."

"I do," you said, nodding quickly. "I'm just... tired, Mother. It's been a long day, and I want to be sure l'm giving this the attention it deserves."

Alicent's expression softened slightly, though there was still a trace of disapproval in her eyes. "Very well. We can continue this tomorrow morning. But I expect you to be more present. This is not just about you; it's about the legacy of our house."

"Yes, Mother," you said, rising from your seat.

"Thank you for understanding." Helena watched you with an amused tilt of her head as you made your way to the door.

"Sleep well, sister," she said in her lilting tone. "And try not to dream too much of Aegon."

You gave her another sharp look, but she only laughed softly, returning her attention to the embroidery in her lap. Alicent dismissed you with a wave, already engrossed in discussing floral arrangements with Helaena.

As you stepped out of the solar and into the dimly lit corridor, you released a heavy sigh. The air was cool against your flushed skin, and you allowed yourself a moment to breathe. Your thoughts, however, were already racing ahead, wondering if Aegon was waiting for you in your chambers. With a shake of your head, you began the walk back to your room, determined to face whatever teasing or mischief awaited you.

The door to your chamber creaked softly as you pushed it open, stepping inside to find Aegon lounging on the bed, his silver hair catching the light of the flickering candles. He looked entirely at ease, leaning back against the headboard with a sly grin playing on his lips, one hand resting on his knee.

As soon as his violet eyes met yours, he straightened slightly. "Lock the door," he said, his voice low and inviting.

You hesitated for a moment, but the look he gave you left no room for argument. With a small sigh, you turned and slid the bolt into place before walking toward him. The sound of your soft footsteps on the stone floor seemed to echo in the stillness of the room.

When you reached the bed, Aegon wasted no time. His hands found your waist, pulling you closer until you were standing between his knees. He gazed up at you, his smirk softening into something more affectionate. "You were so good tonight," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Obedient, even."

You rolled your eyes but couldn't suppress the warmth that spread through your cunt at his praise. "Obedient? Is that what you call it?"

"Yes," he teased, leaning forward to rest his chin against your stomach, his fingers drawing small circles against your sides. "You didn't complain, didn't lash out-at least not publicly."

You threaded your fingers through his hair, the silky strands sliding easily through your touch.

"And what about you, Aegon?" you countered, your tone sharp but playful. "What do you call your behavior at supper? Teasing me like that and then leaving me to suffer?"

His smirk returned, mischievous and unapologetic. "Ah, that," he said, tilting his head to kiss the fabric of your dress where it clung to your hip. "That was just a little fun. You looked so beautiful struggling to stay composed. It's a sight I'll treasure."

You groaned, tugging his hair lightly in frustration, though you couldn't help the small laugh that escaped you. "You're insufferable," you muttered, though your tone lacked true venom.

"And you love me for it," he replied, his arms tightening around you. He nuzzled against your stomach, his lips brushing faintly over the fabric. "But you're right. I left something unfinished, didn't I?"

You looked down at him, your heart racing at the way his eyes glinted in the dim candlelight. "More than something," you said pointedly. "You're the one who started it, Aegon."

He chuckled, the vibration of it sending a shiver through you. "Then I suppose I owe it to you to finish what I started," he murmured, his voice dripping with promise.

But before he could do anything, you tugged his face up gently, forcing him to meet your gaze. "Don't think you're getting off so easily," you said. "You're going to pay for teasing me like that."

Aegon's smirk widened as he let you guide him, leaning into your touch as though he would happily follow wherever you led. "I wouldn't have it any other way," he said, his voice a soft hum as his hands began to trail upward, brushing against your back.

"You're impossible," you whispered, leaning closer as his lips hovered near yours, a breath away.

"And you adore me for it," he replied, his voice low and teasing. Then his lips met yours, and the world melted away as you gave in to the undeniable pull of him, forgetting for the moment all your frustration, your teasing words forgotten as you surrendered to the warmth of his embrace.

As your lips melded with Aegon's, you could feel his smirk against your mouth, his confidence as palpable as ever. But tonight, you weren't going to let him have the upper hand. Slowly, deliberately, you guided him back onto the plush bedding. He complied without resistance, his gaze locked on yours, curious and expectant.

The flickering candlelight cast shadows across his sharp features as you reached for the soft silk cloth draped at the edge of the bed. Aegon raised an eyebrow, his lips quirking in amusement. "What's this?" he murmured, his tone laced with intrigue.

"You like playing games, don't you?" you replied, your voice low and teasing. "Well, it's my turn now."

Before he could respond, you captured his wrists and guided them above his head. His violet eyes widened slightly, though the smirk remained firmly in place. "You're full of surprises tonight," he said, his voice husky as he allowed you to tie his hands securely to the ornate headboard.

"Stay still," you instructed, your tone firm but playful as you tightened the knot just enough to ensure he couldn't escape. "You're not in control anymore, Aegon."

He chuckled, though there was a flicker of vulnerability in his expression. "And what exactly are you planning to do, my fiery little twins?"

You leaned in, letting your lips hover just above his. "Make you pay for earlier," you whispered, your breath brushing against his mouth. Then, without another word, you pulled back, ignoring the frustrated groan that escaped him.

Standing at the foot of the bed, you began to undo the laces of your gown, deliberately taking your time. The silk fabric slid off your shoulders with agonizing slowness, revealing inch by inch of your skin. Aegon's jaw tightened, his eyes darkening with desire as he tugged lightly at his restraints, testing them.

"Gods, you're cruel," he muttered, his voice thick with frustration. "You know exactly what you're doing to me.

You smiled coyly, letting the dress pool around your feet. "Oh, I know," you said, stepping closer but staying just out of reach. "You've had your fun teasing me, Aegon. Now it's your turn to feel helpless."

His gaze roamed over you, a mix of admiration and torment etched onto his face. "You're playing a dangerous game," he warned, though his voice betrayed his enjoyment of your control.

"Am I?" you asked innocently, climbing onto the bed and straddling his waist. You leaned down, your lips brushing lightly against his neck, his collarbone, before pulling back again, leaving him yearning for more.

Aegon groaned, his muscles straining as he tried to break free from the silk bindings.

"You're driving me mad," he admitted, his voice hoarse. "Untie me, and I'll show you exactly how mad."

You chuckled softly, running your fingertips down his chest, savoring the way his body reacted to your touch. "Not yet," you said, your tone teasing. "I want to hear you beg first."

His head fell back against the pillow, a low growl escaping him. "Beg? You've truly lost your mind if you think l'll-"

You silenced him by leaning in, your lips capturing his in a searing kiss. When you pulled away, his breathing was ragged, and his defiance had softened. "Please," he murmured at last, his voice almost a whisper.

Aegon tugged at the silk restraints around his wrists, his frustration growing by the second as he realized he was utterly at your mercy. His violet eyes burned with a mix of desire and exasperation as he looked up at you. "You're enjoying this far too much," he said through gritted teeth, his breath hitching when your fingers grazed his stomach.

You leaned down, your lips brushing against his ear as you whispered, "Oh, I am. Did you think l'd just let you get away with teasing me earlier? You forget, dear brother, that we share the same blood. The same fire. The same madness." Your voice was low and sultry, and the way you trailed your fingers down his chest made him shiver.

Aegon groaned, tilting his head back against the pillow as you pressed a lingering kiss to his neck. "You're insufferable," he muttered, though the tremor in his voice betrayed just how much he was enjoying himself.

"And you love it," you shot back, a smirk playing on your lips. You shifted slightly, your body pressing closer to his, and he inhaled sharply, his restraint fraying with every passing moment.

"Let me touch you," he demanded, his voice thick with desperation. "I'll do anything. Just untie me."

You raised an eyebrow, feigning surprise.

"Anything, you say?" you teased, running your hands down his sides. "But what if I prefer you like this? Helpless. Powerless. Completely at my mercy."

His jaw clenched, his pride warring with his need for you. "You're cruel," he growled, his muscles tensing as he tried once more to pull free. But the silk held firm, and his efforts only made his predicament all the more tantalizing.

"You think this is cruel?" you asked, leaning down to nip at the sensitive skin of his collarbone. He let out a low, guttural sound that sent a thrill through you. "This is nothing compared to the torment you put me through at supper."

Aegon's breathing grew heavier, his frustration palpable as you continued to tease him. "You've made your point," he admitted, his voice strained. "I was wrong to toy with you earlier. Now untie me, and I'll make it up to you."

You laughed softly, your lips ghosting over his as you murmured, "Not yet. I'm not finished with you." Your hand trailed lower, brushing against the growing evidence of his arousal.

He groaned again, his head falling back as he struggled against the restraints. "You're driving me mad," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "I can't take this anymore."

You tilted your head, pretending to consider his plea. "Hmm," you mused, your fingers dancing along his skin. "I could untie you... or i could keep you like this a little longer. After all, it's not every day I get to see you so... vulnerable."

Aegon's eyes snapped open, and he glared at you, though the effect was diminished by the way his body betrayed him. "I'll get you back for this," he vowed, his voice laced with both frustration and a begrudging admiration.

"Oh, I don't doubt that," you replied, your smirk widening. "But for now, you're mine."

You moved with deliberate slowness, your fingers trailing down Aegon's thighs as you worked to remove his pants, your eyes never leaving his face. His frustration was palpable, his teeth clenched, and his violet eyes blazing with a mix of anger and longing. Every brush of your hand was intentional, every movement designed to tease him further.

"Gods, you're insufferable," he growled, his voice thick with pent-up desire. When your fingers accidentally-or purposefully-brushed against his hardened length, he let out a low, guttural groan, his hips jerking slightly in response.

You smirked, your own excitement growing as you saw the way he struggled against the silk binding his wrists. "Oh, poor Aegon," you teased, feigning sympathy as you finally freed him from his pants. "You look so... frustrated."

Aegon glared at you, his breathing uneven. "You'll pay for this," he promised, his voice low and dangerous, though the effect was somewhat undercut by the way he was practically writhing beneath you.

You laughed softly, your fingers tracing the muscles of his abdomen as you slowly crawled back over him. "Is that so?" you murmured, your lips brushing against his ear. "Because from where l'm sitting, it seems like you're the one paying."

He tugged at the restraints again, his muscles flexing, but the bindings held firm. "Untie me," he demanded, his voice rough with need. "Let me touch you, or so help me, l'll-"

"You'll what?" you interrupted, a playful glint in your eyes as you straddled him. "Struggle harder? Moan louder?" You leaned down, pressing a lingering kiss to his chest, right over his heart. "Face it, brother, you're completely at my mercy."

Aegon growled in frustration, his head falling back against the pillow as you continued your assault on his senses. Your lips moved lower, leaving a trail of kisses along his chest, your tongue flicking over his sensitive skin. His body tensed beneath you, every muscle straining as he fought to maintain some semblance of control.

"You're driving me mad," he admitted through gritted teeth, his voice laced with both anger and desperation. "Is this what you wanted? To see me like this?" You paused, your lips hovering over his skin as you looked up at him with a wicked smile.

"Exactly," you purred. "And you look so beautiful when you're helpless, Aegon." His jaw tightened, and he glared down at you, though the effect was ruined by the way his body was betraying him. "When I get out of these restraints—"

"You'll what?" you interrupted again, pressing another kiss to his chest. "Tie me up? Take control?" You smirked, your hand brushing against his arousal again, drawing another tortured groan from him. "Oh, l'm counting on it."

Aegon's breathing grew heavier, his body arching into your touch as you continued to tease him. "Gods, you're impossible," he muttered, though there was a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"And you love it," you shot back, your voice full of confidence as you leaned down to capture his lips in a searing kiss. For a moment, his frustration melted away, replaced by raw, unbridled passion. But when you pulled back, leaving him on the edge once again, his glare returned.

"You'll regret this," he promised, his voice low and dangerous.

You laughed softly, your fingers tracing lazy patterns on his chest. "Maybe," you admitted. "But for now, I'm enjoying every moment of it."

Your fingers moved with maddening precision, grazing against Aegon's cock just enough to send a shiver through him, but never enough to give him what he so clearly craved. His head fell back against the pillow, his lips parting as a low, frustrated groan escaped him. His wrists strained against the silk bindings, the muscles in his arms flexing as he struggled against the restraint.

"Gods," he muttered, his voice rough with need. "You're torturing me."

You tilted your head, a playful smile curving your lips as you leaned down, your breath warm against his ear. "Torture? Oh, Aegon," you whispered, your tone dripping with mock innocence, "this is just the beginning."

He opened his eyes, the frustration blazing in his violet gaze making your heart race. "Don't test me," he growled, his tone both a warning and a plea. "Untie me. Let me touch you."

You chuckled softly, running a single finger down his chest, tracing the faint scars and defined lines of his torso. "And miss out on seeing you like this?" you teased. "I don't think so."

Aegon groaned, his hips bucking slightly as your hand move slowly against his cock. His jaw tightened, and he turned his head to glare at you, though the effect was diminished by the way his body betrayed him, trembling under your touch.

His eyes darkened, and he bit down on his lip, trying to stifle another groan as you resumed your slow, deliberate movements. "Faster," he demanded, his voice strained. "For the love of the gods, go faster."

You shook your head, your smile widening. "Where's the fun in that?" you replied, your tone teasing. "You've always been so impatient, Aegon. Maybe this will teach you some restraint."

His response was a string of curses muttered under his breath, his chest heaving as you continued your torment. "You're going to regret this," he warned, though the quiver in his voice betrayed how close he was to breaking.

"Perhaps,'" you said, your voice soft as you leaned down, your lips brushing against his collarbone. "But for now, I'm enjoying myself."

His head snapped up, his gaze locking onto yours. "You're cruel," he hissed, though there was a flicker of amusement in his eyes. "But I'll make you pay for this. You know I will."

You laughed, your hand finally stilling for a moment as you met his gaze. "I look forward to it," you said, your voice a low purr. Then, with deliberate slowness, you resumed your movements, drawing another deep, shuddering groan from him.

"Gods, I hate you," he muttered, though the way his body arched into your touch told an entirely different story.

"And yet," you said, a playful lilt in your voice, "you're completely at my mercy."

Your moan loudly as you settled yourself fully onto him, your hands gripping Aegon's face firmly, forcing him to meet your gaze. His lips parted in a shaky gasp feeling how your walls squeezed him tightly, his violet eyes darkened with both frustration and need as they bore into yours. You leaned forward, pressing your forehead against his as a small, satisfied smirk curled on your lips.

"Not so fast," you whispered, your voice a Silken tease.

"Gods," Aegon groaned, his head tipping back against the pillows. His hands strained against the silk bindings at his wrists, the muscles in his arms flexing as if he could break free through sheer will alone. "You're tormenting me."

You chuckled softly, brushing your lips along his jawline, trailing kisses down to his neck.

"You deserve it," you murmured, your voice laced with a mix of amusement and punishment. "Do you think I forgot what you did? Do you think I'll let you off so easily?"

Aegon gritted his teeth, his hips jerking upwards in an attempt to quicken your excruciatingly slow movements. But you placed your hands on his chest, pressing him back down firmly. "No," you said, your tone leaving no room for argument.

He let out a frustrated growl, his violet eyes snapping back to yours. "You're cruel," he muttered, though there was a hint of admiration in his voice.

"And you're impatient," you countered, your lips brushing his in a featherlight tease. "Perhaps this will teach you to be more considerate next time."

Aegon groaned again, his body writhing beneath you as you continued your torturously slow pace. "I'll do whatever you want," he said, his voice desperate now. "Just-please. Please, my love."

You paused for a moment, your eyes narrowing as you leaned in closer. "Do you mean that?" you asked, your voice low, a challenge in your tone.

"Yes," Aegon gasped, his head nodding frantically. "I'll prove it. Whatever you ask, I'll do it."

You tilted your head, considering him for a moment before a sly smile spread across your face. "Then beg," you said simply, your voice a soft command.

His eyes widened briefly, surprise flashing across his face before it was replaced with determination. "Please," he rasped, his voice raw with need. "Please, my love. I need you. I can't take it anymore. I'm yours. Always yours."

Satisfied with his answer, you finally began to move faster, drawing a sharp, broken gasp from his lips. His head fell back, and his body arched beneath you, every muscle taut with the overwhelming sensations you were giving him.

"Good boy," you murmured, leaning down to press a lingering kiss to his lips.

Aegon moaned against your mouth, his hands flexing against the silk ties. "Untie me," he pleaded, his voice muffled against your lips. "Let me touch you. Let me worship you."

You shook your head, your lips curling into a wicked grin. "Not yet," you replied, your voice soft but firm. "This is still your punishment, remember?"

"But-"

"No," you interrupted, placing a finger against his lips to silence him. "You'll take what I give you. And you'll thank me for it."

Aegon let out a strangled moan, his eyes fluttering shut as he surrendered completely to you, his body trembling beneath yours. And as the night went on, you continued to hold him in the palm of your hand, ensuring he would never forget who truly held the power between you.

Aegon's groan echoed in the room as you continued to ride him, pushing him further into a frenzy. His pleas and broken gasps grew louder with every passing second, and as you decided to finally release his hands, you saw the flash of determination in his violet eyes.

The moment his wrists were free, he wasted no time. In one swift motion, Aegon grabbed your waist and flipped you onto your back, pinning you beneath him. A wicked grin spread across his flushed face as he leaned down, his breath hot against your ear. "You've had your fun, love," he whispered, his voice rough with desire. "Now it's my turn."

Before you could respond, he thrust into you with a force that knocked the air from your lungs. A loud, unrestrained moan escaped your lips as he began to move with a relentless pace, leaving no room for your earlier teasing.

His hands gripped your hips tightly, pulling you against him with every thrust, and the intensity of his movements left you breathless.

"Aegon-" you gasped, your nails digging into his shoulders as he buried his face in the curve of your neck.

"You think you can tease me like that and get away with it?" he growled, his lips brushing against your skin as he spoke. "You'll pay for every second you made me suffer."

His teeth grazed your neck, and you felt a sharp nip that made you arch beneath him. His hands roamed your body, one gripping your thigh to hook it around his waist while the other slid up to your throat. His fingers wrapped around your neck with just enough pressure to leave you dizzy with pleasure, and he smirked as he watched your reaction.

"You like this, don't you?" he taunted, his voice low and dripping with satisfaction. "Seeing me lose control like this, knowing it's all because of you."

You could barely form a coherent response, your head tilting back as he tightened his grip slightly. "Aegon... please..." you whispered, though whether you were begging him to stop or keep going, even you didn't know.

"Please what?" he pressed, his lips trailing down your collarbone as his pace quickened.

Your hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as you gasped, "Don't stop... gods, don't stop."

Aegon chuckled darkly, the sound vibrating against your skin. "I wasn't planning to," he murmured before capturing your lips in a heated kiss.

The kiss was messy and desperate, both of you too consumed by the moment to care about finesse. His hand on your throat loosened slightly, his thumb brushing over your jaw as he deepened the kiss. His other hand gripped your waist, anchoring you as he fuck you with an unrelenting rhythm.

"You drive me mad," he muttered against your lips, his voice rough with a mix of frustration and adoration. "Every time I look at you, l lose control."

Your breaths mingled as he pressed his forehead against yours, his violet eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. "Say it," he demanded, his voice a low growl. "Say you're mine."

"I'm yours," you whispered, your voice trembling with need.

"Again," he ordered, his pace never faltering.

"I'm yours, Aegon," you cried out, your voice breaking as the overwhelming pleasure threatened to consume you.

"That's right," he murmured, a triumphant smirk curling on his lips. "You'll always be mine."

Aegon's grip on your hips tightened as his movements grew impossibly faster, his focus completely on the sight of you trembling beneath him. Your hands gripped the sheets desperately, your cries filling the room as wave after wave of pleasure crashed through you.

"Aegon-please!" you gasped, your voice hoarse from crying out his name. "I... I can't take any more."

But your plea only seemed to spur him on. He leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, "Yes, you can. You're mine, remember? I'll decide when you've had enough."

Your body betrayed you, arching into him despite the overwhelming sensations. His hands roamed your body possessively, as if to remind you of his claim. He pressed a kiss to your jawline before nipping at your skin, leaving another mark to join the others he'd made throughout the night.

"Aegon, please," you whimpered, your voice breaking as another wave of pleasure crashed over you, leaving you gasping. "I can't... it's too much..."

But he didn't stop. If anything, your pleas only seemed to spur him on. A dark smirk played on his lips as he leaned closer, his silver hair falling over his face, casting shadows over his violet eyes.

"You can handle it," he murmured, his voice low and dripping with confidence. "You were made for me. For this."

You arched beneath him, your hands clutching at the sheets as he pushed you further and further toward the edge. The heat between you was unbearable, and you could feel every ounce of his passion and love pouring into you.

"Aegon, please," you begged again, your voice barely a whisper as your body trembled uncontrollably.

"You're beautiful like this," he muttered, his voice low and rough. He pulled back slightly to look at you, his violet eyes dark with lust. His hand came up to brush a stray strand of hair from your face, his thumb lingering on your cheek. "So beautiful... and all mine."

You could barely respond, your body writhing beneath him as you teetered on the edge once more. "Aegon... I-"

"Come on, love," he encouraged, his voice softening just slightly. "Let go for me. Let me see you fall apart."

With one last sharp thrust, you shattered completely, your vision going white as you cried out his name. Your body tensed and then melted beneath him, every nerve alight as the overwhelming pleasure consumed you.

Aegon leaned down, his hand moving to cup your cheek as he kissed you deeply, his lips claiming yours with a desperation that left you breathless. When he pulled away, his forehead pressed against yours, his eyes burning with an intensity that made your heart race.

Aegon followed moments later, his movements becoming erratic as he groaned deeply, burying his face in the crook of your neck. His body trembled against yours as he spilled into you, his grip on your hips tightening as if grounding himself in the moment.

For a few moments, the room was filled with nothing but the sound of your heavy breathing.

Aegon eventually shifted, his lips brushing against your temple as he murmured, "You're perfect."

You turned your head slightly to look at him, your body still trembling from the best sex you've ever had with him.

"You're relentless," you whispered, your voice barely audible.

"And you love it," he teased, a lazy smirk spreading across his lips.

You rolled your eyes, but the small smile tugging at your lips betrayed you. "I hate how well you know me."

Aegon chuckled softly, leaning down to kiss you again. It was a slower, gentler kiss this time, a stark contrast to his earlier intensity.

"I'll always know you, love," he murmured against your lips. "You're my twin, my equal... my everything."

His words sent a warmth through you that had nothing to do with the physical. For all his flaws and infuriating habits, you knew deep down that Aegon loved you just as fiercely as you loved him.

As he pulled you into his arms, the two of you lay tangled together in the aftermath, your bodies and hearts entwined. The world outside the chamber faded away, leaving only the two of you and the bond that tied you together so deeply.

The soft knock on the door of your chambers startled both you and Aegon awake. Your mother’s voice followed, firm yet calm as she called your name. “It’s late, my dear. We still have much to discuss regarding the wedding preparations. I expect you in my solar shortly.”

You sighed, burying your face into the pillows for a moment. Aegon chuckled softly behind you, the deep rumble of his amusement vibrating through your body. “She’s relentless, isn’t she?” he teased, running his hand lazily down your spine.

Turning your head, you gave him a mock glare. “She’s doing this for us, Aegon. For our marriage.”

Aegon smirked, his fingers brushing the marks he’d left on your neck. “I suppose she wouldn’t be as enthusiastic if she saw these,” he mused, his tone laced with pride.

You swatted his chest lightly. “And whose fault is that?” you replied with mock indignation. Rising from the bed, you began searching for a gown that would conceal the evidence of your shared passion.

Aegon propped himself up on one elbow, watching you with a satisfied grin as you selected a high-necked emerald dress. “It’s a shame you have to cover them. They suit you,” he said, his voice dripping with smugness.

You glanced at him over your shoulder, shaking your head. “You’re incorrigible.”

“And you love me for it,” he replied without missing a beat.

Despite your exasperation, a small smile tugged at your lips. After quickly donning the gown and tying your hair back neatly, you moved to leave the room. Aegon caught your hand, pulling you back toward the bed.

“Don’t let her work you too hard,” he murmured, his eyes softening slightly. “You’ll need your strength later… for me.”

You rolled your eyes but leaned down to kiss his cheek. “Behave yourself while I’m gone,” you said before slipping out of the room.

Walking through the Red Keep’s halls, you could feel the lingering warmth of Aegon’s touch on your skin. The thought made your cheeks flush, but you composed yourself quickly as you neared your mother’s solar.

When you entered, Alicent was already seated with a pile of fabric samples and sketches of floral arrangements. Helaena sat beside her, humming softly to herself as she admired a cluster of tiny pearls meant for your gown.

“Finally,” Alicent said with a mix of relief and mild frustration as she looked up from the papers before her. “I was beginning to think you’d forgotten our plans.”

“Forgive me, Mother,” you said with a small bow. “I overslept.”

Alicent’s sharp eyes studied you for a moment, her gaze lingering on the collar of your dress. You were certain she was trying to discern whether you were hiding something. “Hmm,” she murmured. “Well, you’re here now. Let’s begin.”

As Alicent began explaining the latest changes to the seating arrangements and decor, you found your attention wandering. Helaena noticed and leaned closer to whisper, “Did Aegon keep you up late again?”

Your face grew hot, and you avoided her knowing smile. “I’m just tired,” you replied softly.

Helaena giggled, her amusement clear. Alicent glanced at the two of you, raising an eyebrow. “Is there something you’d like to share with the rest of us?”

You straightened, clearing your throat. “No, Mother. Please, continue.”

Alicent gave you a skeptical look but returned to her notes. As she began describing the ceremonial processional, you forced yourself to focus. The wedding was only days away, and you knew how much this meant to her.

Still, as you nodded along and gave the occasional suggestion, your thoughts drifted back to Aegon and the way he had looked at you that morning, his love and desire etched into every touch and word. You couldn’t wait for the day when you would stand before the realm as his wife, bound together in every possible way.

As your mother left the solar, satisfied with the progress of the wedding plans, you let out a relieved sigh. You turned to Helaena, thinking she might want to discuss something more lighthearted. But instead, she was looking at you with an amused glint in her eye, her hands resting delicately on the table.

“You know,” she began softly, “I could hear you last night.”

Her words made you freeze mid-motion. You turned to her, your cheeks immediately flushing red. “What?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Helaena tilted her head, her expression innocent but teasing at the same time. “Your voice… and Aegon’s. It was, um, quite loud. It carried through the walls.”

Your hands flew to your face in embarrassment, and you groaned softly. “No… no, it didn’t,” you tried to deny, though your flaming cheeks betrayed you.

Helaena nodded, her soft giggle filling the room. “It did. I didn’t know you could be that… vocal.” She paused, a playful smile tugging at her lips. “It was hard to sleep with all that noise.”

You buried your face in your hands. “Helaena! Don’t say that,” you said, your voice muffled by your palms.

She laughed a little louder now, clearly enjoying your embarrassment. “I’m not blaming you! I’m happy for you, truly. It’s just… well, maybe you could keep it down next time?”

You peeked through your fingers, groaning again. “Was it really that bad?”

Helaena shrugged, her smile turning gentle. “I think half the Red Keep might’ve heard you.”

You stared at her, your mortification growing. “You’re exaggerating,” you said, though deep down, you weren’t so sure.

“Am I?” she countered, raising an eyebrow. Then, she leaned in closer, lowering her voice conspiratorially. “Next time, just make sure the door is locked properly… or at least stuff some pillows under it.”

You shook your head, standing up abruptly to avoid further humiliation. “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation,” you muttered, turning toward the door.

Helaena laughed again, her voice light and carefree. “Oh, come now. You’ll laugh about this one day.”

You stopped, looking over your shoulder with a mock glare. “You’re impossible, Helaena.”

She just smiled at you, her laughter still bubbling up as she waved you off. “Go on, then. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Shaking your head, you left the solar, your face still burning. You couldn’t decide if you wanted to confront Aegon about his lack of restraint or avoid him entirely for the rest of the day.

Your steps carried you toward the balcony overlooking the training yard, where the sound of clashing swords echoed in the crisp morning air. Leaning on the stone railing, you caught sight of Aegon and Aemond sparring below. To your surprise, Aegon seemed focused, his movements more deliberate than you were used to seeing. It was a rare sight to see him with a sword in hand rather than a goblet of wine.

You tilted your head, observing how Aemond pushed him, his strikes calculated and precise. But then Aegon glanced up and caught sight of you watching. A sly grin spread across his face, and his focus faltered.

“Pay attention,” Aemond snapped, stepping back with an annoyed glare.

Aegon ignored him entirely, tossing the training sword aside and making his way toward you.

You arched an eyebrow as he approached, his grin growing wider. “Shouldn’t you be sparring?” you teased when he climbed the stairs to the balcony.

“I’ve been sparring all morning,” he replied, brushing off your remark. Without hesitation, he closed the distance between you, his hands finding your waist and pulling you close.

“Aegon!” you gasped, startled as he leaned in and kissed you, completely unbothered by the public setting.

You placed your hands on his chest, intending to push him away, but instead, you felt the rapid beat of his heart beneath your palms. It made your resolve falter just enough for him to deepen the kiss.

When he finally pulled back, you gave him a half-hearted glare. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“Impossible to resist,” he quipped with a wink, clearly pleased with himself.

Your cheeks flushed, and you looked around nervously, hoping no one else had witnessed the moment. “You’re supposed to be training, Aegon. Not… this,” you said, gesturing vaguely between the two of you.

“I’m already good with a sword,” he replied, his voice dripping with confidence. “And besides, Aemond takes this far too seriously. I’d rather spend my time here with you.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips. “Aemond’s going to be furious.”

“Let him,” Aegon said with a shrug, leaning against the railing and pulling you into his side. “He needs to loosen up anyway.”

Down below, Aemond was glaring up at the two of you, his sword still in hand. “You’re wasting time, brother!” he called out sharply, his tone laced with irritation.

“Don’t wait for me,” Aegon replied lazily, waving him off. Then he turned his attention back to you, his grin softening into something more genuine. “I needed a break, and seeing you makes any day better.”

You sighed, shaking your head. “You’re incorrigible.”

“And you love it,” he countered, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face.

Despite yourself, you laughed softly. “Maybe,” you admitted, letting him hold you for just a moment longer.

You leaned closer to Aegon, lowering your voice to a whisper as you glanced around to ensure no one else could hear. “Helena said she could hear… everything last night,” you murmured, your cheeks heating with embarrassment.

Aegon’s grin widened wickedly as his eyes sparkled with amusement. “Everything?” he asked, clearly reveling in your discomfort.

You nodded, your voice dropping even lower. “She said it was loud enough to reach her chambers.”

At that, Aegon laughed—his deep, rich laughter echoing around the balcony, drawing the attention of a few passing servants below. You quickly shushed him, pressing a hand to his chest to quiet him.

“And that’s not all,” you added, your tone slightly panicked. “I think Mother suspects something. She gave me the strangest look this morning, and… I think she knows why I’m wearing this high-collared gown.” You gestured to the neckline of your dress, which you had purposefully chosen to hide the marks Aegon had left on your skin.

Aegon tilted his head, his grin softening into something more mischievous. “Well, if she didn’t know before, she definitely knows now.” He reached out and tugged lightly on the edge of your collar, revealing a faint glimpse of one of the reddish marks just above the fabric. “You missed a spot, my love.”

Your eyes widened, and you slapped his hand away, quickly adjusting the collar to hide the mark again. “Aegon!” you hissed, mortified.

He chuckled, clearly enjoying your reaction. “Oh, let her see. She should be proud,” he said smugly, leaning in closer to you. “The whole of the Red Keep should know that I’m the only one who can make you scream like that.”

Your cheeks turned crimson, and you swatted his arm in frustration. “Do you have no shame?”

“Not when it comes to you,” he replied with a teasing smirk. “Besides, I am proud. And you should be, too. You’re mine, after all.”

You groaned, pressing your palms to your face. “You’re impossible, Aegon.”

“And yet, you adore me,” he countered, his tone playful.

You peeked at him through your fingers, unable to suppress the small smile that tugged at your lips. “I’m starting to reconsider.”

He gasped dramatically, clutching his chest as if you had wounded him. “Cruel. My own twin sister, my beloved betrothed, turning on me?”

You rolled your eyes, stepping away from him to lean against the railing. “If Mother asks about the marks, I’m blaming you,” you said pointedly, though your tone lacked any real anger.

“She’ll know they’re my handiwork,” he replied smugly, moving to stand beside you. “And she’ll know just how lucky I am to have you.”

You shook your head, exasperated but unable to stop the warmth spreading in your chest. No matter how insufferable he could be, he always managed to make you feel special—and for that, you couldn’t stay mad at him for long.

Aegon grasped your hand firmly, tugging you down a quiet, dimly lit corridor. The sound of his boots echoed faintly as you struggled to keep up with his brisk pace, your skirts swishing behind you. The hall was eerily silent, a part of the Keep that had been abandoned long ago. No servants, no guards-just the two of you.

"Aegon," you murmured, glancing around nervously. "Where are we going? Someone might-"

"No one's here," he cut you off, his voice low and laced with urgency. He glanced over his shoulder at you, his violet eyes glinting with something that sent a shiver down your spine. "This part of the Keep is empty, remember? Just trust me."

Finally, he stopped near a narrow alcove by a stairwell, the faint light from a torch casting flickering shadows against the stone walls.

Before you could ask what he was doing, he spun to face you, his hands finding your waist and pulling you flush against him.

"Aegon, what-"

"I can't stop thinking about you," he murmured, his voice rough and filled with desire. His forehead pressed lightly against yours, his breath warm on your lips. "The way you looked last night... beneath me, trembling, crying out my name..." He groaned softly, his grip on your waist tightening. "It's driving me mad. I could barely focus during training this morning."

Your cheeks flushed as his words sank in, and you felt your heart race beneath his intense gaze. "Aegon, we shouldn't-"

But before you could finish, his lips captured yours in a kiss that stole your breath. It started soft and teasing, but quickly grew more urgent, more consuming. He pressed you back against the cool stone wall, one hand sliding up your side while the other remained possessively on your waist.

"Aegon," you whispered against his lips, your hands coming up to rest on his chest as his body caged you in. "Someone could see us..."

"Let them," he murmured, his voice muffled as he kissed along your jaw and down the side of your neck. "Let them see how much I adore you. Let them see that you're mine."

His lips found a particularly sensitive spot on your neck, and you gasped softly, your hands clutching at the fabric of his tunic. "You're impossible," you breathed, though your voice was weak with desire.

"I'm yours," he corrected, pulling back just enough to meet your gaze. His violet eyes were dark and burning with a possessive hunger. "Just as you're mine. No one else will ever touch you, look at you, or hear the sounds you make when you're beneath me. Only me."

The sheer intensity in his voice sent a shiver through you, and you found yourself unable to look away from him. "You're insufferable," you muttered, though there was no real anger in your tone.

"And yet, you love me," he replied with a cocky grin before his lips were on yours again, his kiss filled with a fiery passion that left you breathless.

His hand slid down your back, pulling you even closer against him as he deepened the kiss. You could feel the desperation in his touch, the way his body pressed against yours as though he couldn't bear to be apart from you.

Aegon's kisses deepened, his movements growing more deliberate and filled with purpose. His fingers deftly worked at the laces of your corset, the tension of the fabric giving way under his touch. The moment your gown slipped from your shoulders, cascading to the floor and pooling around your feet, the cool air of the corridor grazed your bare skin, sending a shiver up your spine.

Your breath hitched as you instinctively crossed your arms, but Aegon's hands caught yours, gently lowering them back to your sides.

"Don't," he murmured, his voice low and filled with reverence. His violet eyes roamed over you with such intensity that it made your knees weaken.

"You're perfect," he said softly, almost to himself, as if he couldn't believe you were real.

His hands traced the marks he had left on your skin the night before, the faint bruises standing out against your pale complexion. His thumb brushed over one on your collarbone, and you couldn't suppress the soft gasp that escaped your lips.

When you whispered his name, "Aegon..." it came out as more of a plea than you had intended, and his lips curved into a satisfied smirk.

"You sound so sweet when you say my name," he whispered, his lips brushing against the spot where your neck met your shoulder.

You felt yourself leaning into his touch as he lowered himself to his knees before you. His hands slid down the sides of your body, lingering on the curve of your hips before one of them trailed down to your leg. Slowly, he lifted your foot, carefully placing it on his shoulder. The movement left you feeling exposed, vulnerable, and utterly at his mercy.

"Aegon, what are you-"

"Shh," he interrupted, looking up at you with a gaze that burned with both desire and devotion. "Let me worship you."

His lips pressed against the inside of your thigh, and your head tilted back, a soft moan slipping past your lips. Your hands gripped the wall behind you for support as your body threatened to give way beneath the sensations he was evoking.

"Aegon..." you said again, your voice trembling as your fingers found his hair, tangling in the soft silver strands.

His movements were slow, deliberate, and filled with an intensity that left you breathless. "You don't know what you do to me," he murmured against your skin. "How maddening it is to see you, to touch you, to hear you."

You could barely form a coherent thought, let alone a reply, as his hands and lips continued their worship. The weight of his touch, the heat of his breath-it was overwhelming in the most intoxicating way.

Your knees buckled slightly, and he steadied you, his grip firm yet gentle. "I've got you," he said, his voice low and reassuring. "'ll always catch you."

The vulnerability of the moment made your heart ache in a way that went beyond physical desire. This was Aegon-your twin, your other half, the one person who could unravel you completely and put you back together again.

As his lips continued their path, you couldn't help but whisper, "Aegon, you're insufferable."

He chuckled against your skin, the sound vibrating through you. "And you love me for it," he replied, his voice filled with smug certainty.

And he wasn't wrong.

Aegon's soft chuckle vibrated against your cunt, his lips and tongue never leaving their path of torturous affection to tease your sensitive cunt. Your body trembled beneath his ministrations, your hands tangling in his hair as your breaths came in short, uneven gasps.

"Aegon..." His name fell from your lips in a desperate plea, your voice trembling with both need and frustration.

"Yes, my love?" he teased, his warm breath brushing against your most sensitive spot, sending another shiver down your spine. He lifted his eyes to meet yours, his gaze full of mischief and pride as he took in your flushed face and trembling frame.

"You're cruel," you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. "Stop teasing me.."

Aegon smirked, his tongue darting out again in a slow, deliberate motion that made your back arch against the cold stone wall. "Oh, but you love it when I'm cruel, don't you?" he murmured, his voice a husky whisper that sent a wave of heat through your body.

Your fingers tightened in his hair, pulling slightly, eliciting a low groan from him. "Aegon, please," you begged, your tone wavering between desperation and impatience.

His smirk widened as he pressed another kiss to your inner thigh, his hands gripping your hips to keep you steady. "What was that?" he asked mockingly, his tone playful and maddeningly calm. "I didn't quite catch that."

You glared down at him, your frustration growing with every second of his deliberate torture. "You know exactly what I want," you snapped, your cheeks flushing with both embarrassment and desire.

"Do I?" he replied, tilting his head as though in thought. "You'll have to be more specific, my love. Use your words."

"Aegon!" you hissed, the sound coming out as more of a moan as his tongue brushed against you again, so agonizingly slow it left you gasping.

"Yes, that's it," he murmured, his voice laced with satisfaction. "Say my name. Let everyone in the Red Keep know who's making you feel this way."

Your body trembled beneath his touch, your resolve crumbling with each deliberate movement of his tongue. "I need you, to fuck me" you finally admitted, your voice soft and filled with desperation. "Now."

He paused, his eyes darkening with a mixture of desire and triumph as he rose to his feet, his hands sliding up your body to cup your face. "That's all I needed to hear," he whispered, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss that was both tender and possessive.

Without another word, he lifted you effortlessly, your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you deeper into the shadows of the quiet corridor. His lips found yours again, his kisses growing more demanding as he pressed you against the wall.

"I'll give you what you want," he murmured against your lips, his voice low and filled with promise. "But don't think for a moment that I'm done teasing you."

You could only gasp in response as he finally gave in, his movements both commanding and tender, driving you to the edge of madness once more.

Aegon's pace was relentless, each thrust pulling a gasp from your lips as he buried himself deeper into you. Your hands tangled in his silver hair, pulling slightly as your nails grazed his scalp. The sound of your voice calling his name only spurred him on, his grip on your waist tightening to the point of leaving marks that would surely remain for days.

"You're mine," he growled against your neck, his teeth grazing your skin before he sank them into the sensitive flesh. The sharp sensation mixed with the overwhelming pleasure, sending a shiver down your spine. He soothed the bite with his tongue, leaving a trail of new marks that overlapped with the ones from the night before.

Your head fell back against the wall, your eyes fluttering shut as you surrendered to the sensations overwhelming your body. "Aegon..." His name was a breathless whisper, filled with desperation and need.

He lifted his head to look at you, his violet eyes dark with lust and pride as he took in your flushed cheeks and parted lips. "Say it louder," he demanded, his voice rough and commanding.

You obeyed, his name falling from your lips in a broken moan that echoed down the empty corridor. Aegon smirked, his chest swelling with satisfaction at the sight of you completely undone beneath him.

"You're perfect," he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear. "My perfect little twin, made just for me."

Your nails dug into his shoulders as he shifted the angle, the new position making stars explode behind your closed eyelids. Your legs tightened around his waist, pulling him even closer as your body arched into his.

"Aegon, I can't-" you gasped, your voice breaking as the pressure building in your core became too much to bear.

"Yes, you can," he whispered, his voice softening as he pressed a kiss to your temple. "Give it to me. Let go for me, my love."

Aegon smirked wickedly as he hoisted you onto the sturdy surface of the table, your back pressed against the cool wood. His hands gripped your hips possessively, his violet eyes gleaming with both lust and triumph as he watched your flushed face and trembling body.

"You look divine like this," he murmured, leaning in to nip at your neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive marks he'd left earlier. "My perfect twin, completely undone for me."

Your breaths came out in uneven gasps as he lined himself up and thrust into you once again, the new angle sending a sharp jolt of pleasure through your body. You cried out, your nails digging into his shoulders as he set a brutal pace, each movement precise and unrelenting.

"Aegon..." you whimpered, your voice barely above a whisper as the overwhelming sensations consumed you.

"Say it louder," he growled, his grip on your hips tightening as he slammed into you even harder.

You obeyed, his name spilling from your lips in a desperate moan that echoed down the empty corridor. Aegon chuckled darkly, clearly satisfied with the effect he had on you.

"You're mine," he declared, his voice rough and full of possessive pride. "No one else gets to see you like this, hear you like this, feel you like this. Only me."

You could do nothing but nod, your mind too clouded with pleasure to form a coherent response. Your body arched into his, seeking more of the intoxicating connection only he could provide.

Aegon's hand moved to the small of your back, pulling you closer as he buried himself even deeper inside you. The new angle made stars explode behind your closed eyelids, and you cried out his name again, your voice trembling with desperation and ecstasy.

"That's it," he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear. "Let go for me, my love. Show me how much you need me."

His words were your undoing, the coil inside you snapping as a wave of pleasure crashed over you, leaving you trembling and breathless.

Aegon wasn't far behind, his movements becoming erratic as he chased his own release. With a low, guttural groan, he buried his face in the crook of your neck, his body shuddering against yours as he found his end.

For a moment, the two of you stayed like that, your bodies pressed together as you caught your breath. Aegon eventually pulled back, his violet eyes softening as he took in your flushed cheeks and swollen lips.

"You're breathtaking," he said, brushing a strand of hair from your face. His tone was softer now, filled with a tenderness that belied his earlier intensity.

You rolled your eyes, though a small smile tugged at your lips. "You're insatiable," you teased, your voice still shaky from the aftershocks of your release.

Aegon chuckled, pressing a lingering kiss to your lips before carefully helping you off the wardrobe. He adjusted your gown, his fingers grazing your skin in a way that sent a shiver down your spine.

"We should go before someone finds us," you murmured, glancing nervously down the corridor.

"Let them," Aegon said with a smirk, his arm wrapping possessively around your waist. "Let them see who you belong to."

You rolled your eyes again, though you couldn't deny the warmth that spread through your chest at his words. Despite his arrogance and unpredictability, you knew he was yours just as much as you were his.

Tag list : @danytar @julessworldd @hangmanscoming @yazzzmints @callsignwidow @giirlinblack

[creatie123]

CHOI SU-BONG/THANOS X PREGNANT!PREADER PART 2

Part 1 Part 2 part 3 Part 4

tw: mentions of suicide, abusive tendencies, strong language, light manipulation, emotional whiplash, drug use

“Green light!’ the doll calls out.

We all start walking forward. When the doll calls out red light the man, 456, shouts out for everyone to freeze. I can't help but flinch every time. We have made it to about half way when a girl starts screaming. She laughs and says something, then there is a loud bang. 456, starts yelling orders. For people to not move. I'm confused until a lady screams and people start running. There are many loud bangs as the voice on the intercom reads out a list of players that are eliminated. 

456 finally gets everyone's attention telling them to get in single file lines with taller people in the front. I hide behind a tall girl. She was the girl who I was behind in the stairwell. The intercom repeats the rules before the doll calls out ‘green light’ again. 

We have almost made it to the finish when my stomach starts cramping and I lean over to grip the girl's shirt groaning in pain. 

“Hey are you ok?” she asks.

“Yes yes. Just.. just a stomach ache.” If people know I'm pregnant they may think I'm weak.

When we cross the finish line I look back out over the crowd and see the amount of blood sprayed over the field. I double over and spill my guts.

“Celina.” I hear his voice.

I freeze and go to walk away but a hand on my upper arm spins me around.

“What the hell are you doing here?” su-bong asks me.

His pupils are huge and I give him a disapproving look. I shrug his hand off my arm and turn to walk away, getting mixed with him is not something I want to do right now. Once again I find myself being forced to look at him. 120 grabs me and pulls me behind her. Glaring down at him. He scowls up at her before turning to walk away.

She turns too look at me with concern. “Friend of yours?”

I place my hand on my stomach. “Uhm..”

Her eyes widened “oh.. Oh!”

“Shhh. Please I cant have people thinking i'm not a good teammate.” she nods.

When we are all taken back to the main room I feel fatigue set in and I immediately go to lay in my bed thankfully I don't have blood on me like most players so I don't need to take my jacket off yet, not like I want to. The scars that litter my arms I know would cause unwanted attention. 

“Uhm… 121?” I hear a soft voice behind me.

“Hm? Oh 222, hi.” I say

Behind her are an elderly woman and a younger boy. 120. Is also with them.

“Can I help you guys?”

“We were wondering if you would want to team up with us?” she asks.

My eyes widen and I feel unnecessary tears well in my eyes. I nod my head

The sliding suddenly opens and the man with the square mask starts talking. A lady begins begging for him to let her go. Before I know it we are in the process of taking a vote for who wants to stay and leave. We started with 456, I watched su-bong skip up to the button and press the o, our eyes met for a second before I turned away. When my number is called I slowly walk up to the button my hands trembling. The internal debate of getting out alive but the mountain of debt I have. I hope to survive and get out with the money. Suddenly I felt a kick in my belly. I gasp and lean over the button. Guilt racks my heart as I forgot I am not deciding for only myself anymore. A tear escapes my eye, as I hit the x, the room shining red for just a second. I hear a mix of sighs of relief and disappointment. I receive my patch and go to stand beside 222 and the elderly lady. Even without looking I can feel his eyes on me. When the voting is done I feel tears escape my eyes when I see that we will be staying for another game. I walk back to my bed in defeat. When I got there su-bong was already sitting there with his friend.

“So I wasn’t just high. You really are her babe.” he says getting up.

I back away from him falling onto someone else's bed.

“What are you doing here babe?”

“Don't call me that su- thanos.” he would always get annoyed if I called him su-bong in public.

“Don’t be like that, I have missed you girl.” he says grabbing my wrist and pulling me down so I am sitting in his lap.

Panic as his arms wrap around my stomach and his body stills. At that exact moment my child has chosen now would be a good time to be active. And I can feel him kick my stomach. Right. Against. His. hand. 

“What the fuck. Are you-” I shoot up out of his hold and bolt off to the bathroom.

Slamming the door open I kneel in front of the toilet and empty my guts. Tears burn my eyes at the burning feeling in the back of my throat and the aching in my chest. The door to the bathroom slams open and I hear su-bong calling out my name. He sounds beyond furious. I sit huddled on the toilet clutching my stomach. I remember all to late that the door is not locket as its slams open omitting a crashing sound when it hits the wall.

“Are you.” it wasn't a question at this point.

I simply nod, I try but the tear will not stop.

“Is it mine.” again it was not a question.

I nod. Before I can blink he is kneeling in front of me staring at my stomach. He reaches out slowly being met with a little kick in return. His face is full of hurt confusion and anger.

“How far along are you.”

“24 weeks.” I whisper, dropping my head.

“How long have you known.”

“I found out at 14 weeks.” 

“And you left me at 10.”

“Su-bong I-” I am cut off with him slamming his fist into the wall. I flinch and shrink into the toilet seat.

I yell out as his fist tangles in my hair and yanks my head back to look at him. His jaw is tense and his pupils are shot.

“How did you find out.”

“I-I.”

“Dont fucking stutter when you talking to me bitch.” he spits yanking my hair again.

My scalp burns with the abuse. “I found out when I was at the hospital!” I cry.

“Why the fuck where you at the hospital, celina.”

“Su-” a sharp tug on my hair corrects me. “Thanos, please stop hurting me.” I sob.  

“Baby you know I hate repeating myself.”

“I wanted to die!” I sob.

His motions freeze. I think I could hear his breathing stop for a moment.

“You. you tried?” I nod the best I could with his grip on my hair.

Before I know it I am being pulled into my ex’s arm. He cradles my head to his chest and I bury my face in his chest letting out all my frustration and sadness and anger. And god damn it i missed him. I missed my su-bong.

“Can I see?” I hear him whisper.

Sniffling, I pull back and look at him, “see?”

He looks at my stomach.

“My arms are… gross.”

He just cocks his head at me like a stupid fucking puppy not understanding why its getting scolded. This is why I hate it when he is on drugs. He gets so bipolar.

“I want to see,” he says placing his hand on my stomach again.

I sigh. With trembling hands I unzip my hoodie and let it slide down my area. My short sleeve shirt is just slightly too tight against my growing bump. Despite wanting to see my belly his eyes immediately lock onto my arms and his face contorts into an emotion I have never seen on his face. I wrap my arms around myself. 

“Before I came here.” he pauses, placing his hands on my shoulders and running them down to take my hands. “The recruiter found me on a bridge. I was gonna jump. There was my debt and then the drugs and before I knew it you were gone and I didn’t know where you were. I missed you so much baby.” 

I’m the one to pull him into me this time “su-bong-”

The door to the bathroom slams open, cutting off what I was about to say. We both whip around to look at who just entered.

~~~

hi everyone I am happy that I got to post this chapter so soon, I am sorry about the second cliffhanger in a row, I cant say anything other than I hope you think them as much as do. Let me know what you think! or if you want me to take a brake from this story and focus on a specific request, my requests are always open!

till next time

-Creatie

[selkie-on-land]

I always saw this quote ''trauma it's your fault but it's your responsibility to heal '' used to blame victims of male violence, especially in the militant/new generations. It goes usually with this bs ''if you don't work on healing you're just a an abuser and a predator exactly like men are ''. But it's the same rhetoric and literally same sentence that ''if you don't report/press charge on this abuser, you're just a an abuser and a predator exactly like men are. And if they abuse someone else, this on you not on them. '' and they usually goes hand in hand. Like every time I've seen someone said/wrote one, they always have already said the other one too. And it's always said in response to a woman testifying/open up on her abuse.

It goes hand in hands with this one too ''you're an abuser to share your abuse like that. You're literally traumatising and abusing everyone who is going to read you. You're not a feminist/victim you're just like any man. You should be ashamed of yourself and fix it before damaging every woman that you speak to. This is just trauma dumping and this is very wrong, this is an abuser tactic. ''

Until now, I was too emotional/triggered to think about that in an analysis process because I have a lot of cptsd from those types of response when I tried to talk about some of my abuse. And it deeply traumatized me to the point where I'm now unable to open up about any of my abuse except if the subject is already opened up. Even in therapy btw, because I'm deeply convinced that if I do I'm going to abuse my therapist.

To the point where I'm wondering if all three are not actually the same thing or part of the same thing. Maybe that thing has a name, but I can't find it. If you do, please, I would gladly know it!

I think that this is victim blaming but in a very specific manner, that seems to be different than the one usually spread, and maybe silencing victims voice but I don't know it feels like I'm missing something ? I thought about DARVO ? But darvo is used by an abuser on his victims not from an external source, right? Or maybe I don't know enough about it.

I received this type of comments/abuse from younger and my own generation (90s), never from an older one. And I mostly received this in space made for speaking out your abuse, like Call for testimonies for this or that violence, in every single ''feminist'' space ivl as irl.

Even now, here, I'm not comfortable with writing this down because I was always also assaulted when I was calling out this type of behaviour so it's very sensitive for me. It's been half an hour since I'm spiraling into anxiety to post or to delete everything. I know I shouldn't feel that way. I know that this is wrong. I'm wrong I know. But it's eating me from the inside. Why ? Why am I struggling like this, usually I don't, I don't even care of what people might think of what I wrote. But here I'm just freezing because I know, statically, it's absolutely certain that I'm going to be assaulted and abused if I click on the reblog button and I don't want to be assaulted or abused. So the only way to be sure I won't is to not post this. I hate myself for just such pity like I feel like I'm exactly what they refer to when they talk about victim personality that self pity etc. Oh fuck off Anna and post it anyway!

Edit : it lasted 4 hours. I had to put in private because I was (and still am) in a big anxiety attack and autistic meltdown due to the pressure and anxiety of waiting to see when the assault I'm waiting is going to happen. (Also waiting mode from my autism). I hope I will be able to let it that way and won't have to delete it. Also wish I could just let it be as all my other post. But obviously I'm too traumatized by women in ''feminist'' space for that.

crazy how trauma isn't your fault but it's your responsibility to heal.

[thomamaru]

Drench in Apologies (Chapter 3)

Synopsis: Just one little text from him was enough to crumble down any healing progress you made. Now, there he was, standing in the rain. You still stood your ground and didn’t let yourself get swayed by his attempts to apologize.

Tags: Rin Itoshi x gn!reader, angst, fighting but not too intense, fluff at the end

previous chapter

The sound of relentless rain echoed through the streets as Rin stood in front of your apartment building, soaked to the bone.

His breathing was labored, each breath heavy with the weight of regret that had been gnawing at him since he saw you at the restaurant—with Sae.

That image hadn’t stopped replaying in his mind, each loop sharper than the last.

His fists trembled at his sides as his teal eyes fixed on your door. This wasn’t how he imagined things between you would ever end up. But he wasn’t about to let it end like this.

Not when every step of his journey, every ounce of his determination, had you at the heart of it.

When you opened the door, you were startled to see Rin standing there, drenched. For a moment, the sight of him rendered you silent, your chest tightening at his disheveled appearance.

But then the reminder of the months of emotional turmoil he had put you through came crashing down, hardening your expression.

“What are you doing here?” you asked coldly, the chill in your tone matching the weather outside.

“I need to talk to you,” Rin said, his voice low but urgent. “Please.”

The word please carried more weight than you thought it would. Rin wasn’t the type to plead. But the bruises on your heart were still raw, and even now, you weren’t ready to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“I don’t have anything to say to you, Rin. Go home.”

“I can’t,” he replied almost instantly, stepping closer but not enough to breach your space. “I… I can’t leave things like this.”

The storm inside you matched the one outside as you fought to stay resolute. “Now you can’t? After months of ignoring me, brushing me aside like I didn’t exist? You don’t get to decide when we talk, Rin. It doesn’t work like that.”

Rin flinched, your words hitting harder than he had anticipated. He nodded stiffly, water dripping from his bangs. “You’re right. I… I don’t deserve to be here. But I need you to understand—”

“No,” you interrupted sharply, stepping back as he tried to step forward again. “You don’t get to walk back into my life and think a simple explanation will fix everything.”

Rin stayed rooted to the spot, guilt weighing him down. “I know I hurt you,” he said softly, his usually composed voice trembling. “I didn’t mean to. I thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted to focus on training, to be stronger for you—”

“For me?” you cut him off, bitterness rising in your throat. “Don’t put this on me, Rin. If it was for me, you would’ve let me in instead of shutting me out. You didn’t even care about how I felt. Did you even think about how I spent weeks wondering why you suddenly stopped trying? Why you started to treat me like I didn’t matter?”

Rin’s fists clenched tightly, his nails biting into his palms. “I did care. I cared so much that it drove me insane. I felt like I wasn’t good enough—that I wasn’t giving you what you deserved. And the only way I knew how to fix that was to focus on being better at everything. I thought I’d lose you if I didn’t.”

“Rin,” you said quietly, your voice thick with unshed tears. “You lost me anyway.”

The words hung between you like a lead weight, crushing whatever fragile hope Rin had carried with him to your doorstep. He opened his mouth to respond but found himself speechless, every word dying before it could leave his lips.

You turned away, arms wrapping around yourself like a shield against the cold. “Do you know how hard it was for me to see you at that match? To call out your name and hope you’d finally look at me the way you used to? I’ve spent months convincing myself that maybe I was the one who failed. Maybe I didn’t support you enough or didn’t try hard enough.”

Rin’s hands reached out but dropped back to his sides, his voice thick with regret. “You never failed me. I failed you.”

You shook your head, bitterness creeping into your tone. “What’s worse is that after everything, the only reason you’re here now is because you saw me with your brother. What was it, Rin? Jealousy? Possessiveness? Or did Sae finally show me the kind of attention you should’ve been giving all along?”

Rin’s face twisted, a mixture of guilt and anger flashing in his eyes. “Don’t say that.”

“Why not?” you challenged, meeting his gaze head-on. “It’s true, isn’t it? You didn’t care until someone else looked at me.”

“That’s not why I’m here,” Rin said firmly, his voice cracking under the strain. “I’m here because I can’t stand the thought of losing you completely. Because I—” He broke off, exhaling shakily. “Because I still love you.”

Your heart clenched at his confession, but the sting of the past months didn’t let you soften just yet. “If you really loved me, Rin, you wouldn’t have treated me like an afterthought.”

Thunder rumbled in the distance as the tension between you reached its peak. The rain had seeped into your entryway, water pooling around Rin’s feet, but neither of you cared.

Rin ran a hand through his damp hair, frustrated beyond measure. “I know I messed up. I was so focused on beating Sae and Isagi that I didn’t realize I was losing the most important person in my life. I… I got caught up in my own selfishness, and I’m sorry. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m willing to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

His words broke something inside of you—months of built-up anger and sadness dissolving into bittersweet pain.

Before you could reply, Rin suddenly stepped closer and cupped your face with both hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears that had started to fall. “Please,” he whispered. “Just let me prove to you that I can do better. That I will do better.”

You opened your mouth to speak but froze when Rin leaned down, capturing your lips in a desperate kiss.

It wasn’t like the soft kisses from your earlier days together. It was raw and urgent, filled with the emotions he couldn’t put into words.

For a moment, you let yourself sink into it, the warmth of his lips reminding you of everything you had once loved about him.

When Rin pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his eyes filled with unspoken promises. “I know it’ll take time for you to trust me again. And I’ll wait however long it takes. But please, just give me the chance.”

You exhaled shakily, your heart torn between the ache of betrayal and the hope of rekindling what you’d lost. “It’s not going to be easy, Rin.”

“I don’t want easy,” he said softly. “I just want you.”

The road ahead wouldn’t be simple, but as Rin pulled you into a tight embrace, you felt a small flicker of hope.

Maybe, just maybe, the pieces of your shattered relationship could be mended. And even if it took time, you were willing to try.

---

Rin wasn't known for surprises, which was why you did a double-take when you opened your front door to see him standing there with flowers in his hands.

"Hey," he greeted casually, but the faint dusting of pink on his cheeks betrayed his usual composed demeanor. He held out the bouquet—your favorite flowers, no less—looking everywhere but at you as he handed them over.

"Rin..." Your voice trailed off, surprise evident in your tone as you accepted the bouquet. They were fresh, vibrant, and so thoughtful it almost didn’t seem real.

"They’re for you," he clarified needlessly, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets and shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

A small laugh bubbled up from your chest as you brought the flowers to your nose, inhaling their scent. "Thank you. I wasn’t expecting this at all."

He shrugged as if brushing it off, but you caught the slight upward twitch of his lips. "I thought you deserved it. Can I come in?"

You stepped aside, gesturing for him to enter. Rin walked in, taking his usual spot on your couch, his body language relaxed yet hesitant, as if unsure of what to say or do next. You quickly placed the flowers in a vase, letting the water fill as you sneaked occasional glances at him.

When you returned, he was looking out the window, the soft glow of the room's light illuminating his sharp profile. He seemed far away for a moment before he turned to you, his expression unreadable.

“You’ve been doing okay, right?” he asked suddenly.

The question caught you off guard. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He exhaled through his nose and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I just... I know the last few months weren’t great. I wasn’t great.”

You sat next to him, setting the vase of flowers on the table. The distance between you was minimal, the warmth of his presence a familiar comfort.

“Rin,” you began softly, “we’ve been over this. You don’t have to keep apologizing for the past. We’re here now, aren’t we?”

“I know,” he said, his voice a little sharper than intended. His jaw tightened, but he softened quickly, his head dipping. “But I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for how I made you feel.”

You tilted your head, trying to catch his gaze. “Then don’t make the same mistakes again. That’s all I want.”

For a moment, the room was filled with the sound of the rain tapping against the window. Rin straightened slightly, his fingers brushing the edge of his knee nervously. He finally met your eyes, the intensity in them making your breath catch.

“I won’t,” he promised, his voice quieter now but filled with conviction. “I’ll do better. For you.”

There was something so sincere in the way he said it that your chest ached—not from sadness, but from how much you cared for him.

“Good.” You smiled softly. “Because I’m not giving you an out next time.”

He chuckled, the sound low and rare. “Duly noted.”

You settled back against the couch, your shoulder brushing against his. For the first time in a long while, it felt like the air between you two wasn’t heavy with words unsaid or hurt feelings lingering in the background.

As the rain outside slowed to a drizzle, Rin’s hand slipped across the space between you, brushing against yours before interlocking your fingers. The action was so simple yet felt so significant.

“You know,” he murmured, leaning back against the couch and looking toward the ceiling, “picking those flowers wasn’t easy.”

You raised an eyebrow, amused. “Oh? Did you agonize over it for hours?”

His lips quirked in a faint smirk, the usual Rin humor breaking through. “Let’s just say I asked someone for help, and it was a mistake.”

You laughed at his exasperated expression. “Well, they’re perfect. And honestly? I’m impressed you even thought to bring flowers.”

“Don’t get used to it,” he replied, though the corner of his mouth twitched upward in a smile. “Special occasion.”

“And what’s the occasion?” you teased, leaning into his side slightly.

He turned his head to you, his gaze softer now. “You.”

The single word hung in the air, your heart skipping a beat as warmth flushed through your chest. You felt his fingers squeeze yours, grounding you in the moment.

“I’m really glad we’re okay again,” you whispered.

“Me too,” Rin admitted, his voice quiet yet steady. His head tilted to the side as he looked at you. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep it that way.”

And as he sat beside you, fingers intertwined with yours and the soft rhythm of the rain outside, you felt it too—peace, understanding, and the comfort of knowing he wasn’t going anywhere. Rin Itoshi was here, now, with you. And this time, he wasn’t letting go.

Notes: last parttt, thank you so much for the support i'm crying btw I'm accepting any request, any character will <33

Taglist: @hotdogkongmalaki @mitsurimoshi @rroxii @x-vivi-v @ash1 @kimura-uzuri

[12woso12]

Angry woman

Part 3

Part 2 here

TW: Some tough topics, look after yourselves

The greatest show

It had only been a few days since the first training session with Arsenal, and the weight of the transition was still settling on your shoulders. Every minute felt like a negotiation between your past and your future—like you were caught between two worlds, neither of which felt fully like home.

But tonight was different.

Alessia had insisted that you join her and a couple of other teammates for a casual movie night. She’d been nudging you about it for days, telling you how it’d be a “fun way to get to know the girls,” and how “they’re way cooler than you think.” At first, you’d hesitated. After all, you were still adjusting to everything, still felt like the new kid. But Alessia had a way of making you feel like you were part of something bigger, something you hadn’t quite figured out yet, and she wasn’t taking no for an answer.

You walked into Alessia's apartment, palms sweating and beyond ready to run in the other direction, feeling that familiar sense of anticipation and uncertainty—like showing up to a first day of school. The girls were already there, sprawled out on the couch, the kitchen counter littered with popcorn, snacks, and takeout containers.

Victoria Pelova, or Vic as Alessia called her, was sprawled on the floor with a blanket thrown over her, sipping something from a glass with a knowing grin. She had a sly, mischievous air about her that reminded you a little of Alessia—playful but sharp. Then there was Kyra Cooney-Cross, sitting next to Vic, fiddling with her phone while her feet bounced to some rhythm only she could hear. Kyra was your age, and the second Alessia introduced you to her, you could feel the instant connection. She reminded you a little of Grace Clinton.

“Y/N, you made it!” Alessia grinned as you stepped in, pulling you into a quick hug before gesturing to the others. “Make yourself at home, I'm afraid we're watching The Greatest Showman tonight.”

You rolled your eyes, already knowing Alessia’s taste in movies. It wasn’t the first time she’d dragged you into something cheesy, but at this point, you were just happy to be part of the group.

“Just remember, I’m not responsible for any emotional breakdowns if you get too invested in the love story,” Vic teased, her accent thick and playful. She looked at you with a glint in her eye. “Are you prepared to cry?”

Kyra shot you a grin. “Oh, trust me, the real question is how many tissues you’ll go through. Vic cried the last time we watched this—what was it, the third time in a row?”

“Hey,” Vic said, raising her hand in mock defense. “That was a moment. A deep emotional experience.”

Kyra snorted. “It’s okay, Vic. We won’t judge you for being a big softie.”

You felt a grin tug at the corner of your mouth. The playful, easy camaraderie between them was infectious, and suddenly, the weight of everything else didn’t seem so heavy.

As the movie started, you sunk into the oversized beanbag chair that Alessia had pulled out for you. The smell of popcorn filled the room, and for the first time in a while, you felt like you could breathe.

Suddenly, you found yourself laughing along with the others. Kyra’s laugh was loud and uninhibited, the kind of laugh that made you want to laugh just because it was so infectious. Vic, on the other hand, was effortlessly witty, tossing in sarcastic remarks that only added to the fun.

“You’re really quiet,” Kyra said, nudging you with her elbow halfway through the movie. Her eyes were twinkling with curiosity, like she was trying to figure you out. “I thought you were suppose to be loud and angry...according to the BBC"

You chuckled lightly, not sure how to respond. After a second, you brush it off. You were fine just a little overwhelmed but it was nothing you couldn't handle.

“I'm just relaxing” you said quietly, smiling at no one in particular. “I need to get myself one of these beanbag chairs Less. I could fall asleep"

Kyra raised an eyebrow. “"Y/N, you’re basically living the dream. You just made a huge move from United to Arsenal. You’re practically a football god in this city. Ask the club to get you a damn bean bag if you want one, they'll run to your every beck and call”

You smirked but shook your head. “I'm not as important as everyone is making out, trust me"

Vic looked up from the floor, a knowing look in her eyes. “Y/N, no offence but are you always this stupid? You're easily the best player of your generation She paused as Kyra huffed but didn't object. "There's a reason clubs all over the world wanted you."

The words landed differently than you expected, like a quiet affirmation that you belonged here.

Kyra nudged you again, her grin returning. “Yeah, miss big shot. Go march into Renee's office tomorrow and demand a bean bag"

"I think i need to demand for an apartment first" you joked

The laughter that followed was easy, unburdened, and for that moment, you felt your anxiety start to slip away. You hadn’t realised how much you’d needed it—real, unscripted fun with people who genuinely liked you.

The movie had wrapped up a while ago, but no one was in any rush to leave. Instead, the room was alive with chatter, laughter, and more than a little teasing. Kyra and Vic were now in a heated discussion about whether The Greatest Showman could be considered a “true” musical or just an overhyped concert movie. Meanwhile, Alessia was curled up next to you, her eyes gleaming with amusement as she listened in on the banter.

“You know,” Alessia mused, nudging you with her elbow, “this was a good idea. You should hang out with us more often.”

You glanced over at her, smiling. “Yeah, I didn’t expect to have this much fun.”

Kyra raised an eyebrow. “Oh, trust me, we’re just getting started. I’ve got a whole list of movies that’ll make you laugh until you cry.”

Vic piped up from across the room, grinning. “And I’ll make sure to keep the musicals to a minimum. We’ll go more with the horror next time, yeah?”

“No. Absolutely not,” you said, shaking your head.

The night wound down with more jokes, more light-hearted banter, until eventually, Alessia stood up and stretched, giving you a playful nudge. “Alright, newbie. Time to hit the hay. We’ve got training tomorrow, and trust me, we’re gonna work you hard.”

“Bring it on,” you said with a grin, a little more relaxed now. “I can take it.”

After a few more laughs and goodbyes, you left Alessia's apartment. The crisp night air nipped at your skin as you stepped out onto the street, but it didn’t feel as cold anymore. The weight of your thoughts was lighter, the nagging, constant pressure that had followed you for so long now seemed distant—almost forgotten.

As you walked up the stairs to your apartment and unlocked the door, the feeling of lightness began to fade. The moment you stepped inside, everything changed.

The air felt heavier again. The room was quiet, too quiet, and as you placed your bag on the table, you felt the old, familiar weight settle back on your chest. The smile that had lingered on your lips slipped away, replaced by a gnawing emptiness.

You kicked off your shoes and walked over to the window, staring out at the lights of the town. From here, everything looked peaceful. Arsenal was a world of possibilities, of new starts, and yet—here you were, standing in the shadow of everything you’d left behind.

The memories crept in like the cold breeze that fluttered through the window cracks. They didn’t care about your new start, your new team, your new life. They were relentless, reminding you of the darkness that had clung to you for so long.

Manchester United.

David Coben.

The words were like a whisper in the back of your mind, a chill that crawled down your spine. You could almost hear his voice, taunting you, reminding you that no matter where you went, no matter how far you ran, he’d still be there, lurking in the shadows.

The sound of his footsteps echoed in your memory—the way he always found you, the way he made you feel small, like nothing more than a piece of his game. The fear, the anger, the helplessness—it all came rushing back in a tidal wave. You could almost feel the walls of the United locker room closing in on you, the suffocating pressure, the isolation.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to push the memories away, but it was like trying to keep the tide from flooding the shore. The darkness had followed you here.

The room felt suddenly cold, too cold, and your hands trembled as you gripped the windowsill. No, you told yourself. You’re not there anymore. You don’t have to carry this.

But no matter how hard you tried, the memories wouldn’t leave. They stuck to you like glue, tugging at your heart, your mind, like a weight that refused to be shaken off.

You didn’t want to feel this way. You wanted to be free.

You wanted to let yourself laugh, to breathe without that constant pressure. You wanted to live in the now, to savor the joy you’d found in Arsenal’s warm welcome, in the laughter of your teammates, in Alessia’s bright smile.

But then you heard the sound of footsteps in your memory again. You saw his face—the smirk that had haunted your dreams—and in that moment, you knew the past wasn’t done with you yet.

For now, you could only stand there, staring out into the town. The lights below seemed so far away, as if they belonged to a different life, a different version of you.

You turned away from the window and walked over to the couch, dropping onto it heavily. The laughter from earlier still echoed faintly in your mind, but now it seemed distant, like a dream you could barely remember.

You wanted to believe that the future, Arsenal, would give you the freedom to be someone else—to be the version of you that was happy, whole, and unbroken. But the memories lingered, lurking in the corners, waiting for you to slip up.

You didn’t know if you could ever escape them, or if you even deserved to.

But for tonight… you could at least pretend. You could close your eyes and imagine a world where the past didn’t exist, a world where the only thing that mattered was the team you were a part of now, the friends you had just started to make, and the future that might one day be within reach.

Tomorrow would come with its own challenges, but for tonight… you let yourself breathe.

You let yourself believe.

And maybe, just maybe, that was enough.

[e-vay]

Your Music Suggestions

I received a lot of messages in my inbox for music recommendations or song-related asks and instead of commenting on them one-by-one I figured I'd lump them together! Enjoy and thanks for sharing!

Anon asked: Have you listened to "Waiting For The Night" by Armin Van Buuren? If not you have to it's so good🤭 I go right to sleep when I listen to it😴

E: I had never heard of that before. That was super pretty! It's interesting that it makes you sleepy, whereas I think it's a song you'd hear at a club to get you pumped. Either way, thank you for sharing!

Anon asked: So I don’t know if you heard of Epic the musical. But there is a song called “Would you fall in love with me again?” And I can picture Shadow and Aurora in the context of the song. Especially if shadow had just finished dealing with the Black Arms for good and isn’t sure if he would ever be himself. If you haven’t heard the musical, I highly recommend it

E: YES I know Epic and I love it! (and I'm regularly going "🎶𝔭𝔢𝓝𝓔𝓵𝔬𝔭𝓮𝓔𝓔𝓔🎶" because of it haha). That song makes me cry! And now I'm crying even more that you put it in the context of Shadora 😭 Yes I think that's a perfect fit, especially because no matter what, Shadow will always be Shadow! AH! Thank you for sharing that with me!

Anon said: Hey Evay! Give a listen to Stupid Heart by Sorana! This song reminds me so much of an Amy pov, in the beginning before she eventually does end up with Sonic 😊 This artist is actually Romanian, which is what language the original song is in! The lyrics used translated in English is: “You want to leave but won’t take me with you, won’t take me with you, won’t take me with you | Your face and the love in the linden tree reminds me of your eyes” The original song is hard to translate apparently but it’s about love at first sight :) I thought that was pretty cool lore added to an internet classic haha (I’m assuming you must know of the numa numa guy, considering you’ve been on the internet for a long time like me!)

E: I could totally see what you mean by saying this song makes you think of Amy. That was really catchy! And it played on my nostalgia for sure, because yes I am very familiar with the original "Dragostea Din Tei" song haha. Thank you so much for sharing!

Anon said: you’ve probably been sent this a thousand times but I need to know that you know about this (also I love your art 🥹❤️)

E: "My Favorite Thing" IS my favorite thing! The first time I heard it I had to pinch myself because I was like "Is this real or am I dreaming right now?!" I know it's not canon and that Jun'ichi Kanamaru and Taeko Kawada only sang it for fun, but oh my god it fills my heart so much. And it's canon to ME! Also thank you so much, I'm so happy you like my art!

mariahdoby13 asked: What if Aurora listens to die with a smile by Lady Gaga featuring Bruno Mars what was her reaction while listening to the song?

E: That was beautiful! That's definitely one of those songs she'd be listening to on repeat and just crying her eyes out haha

lucidheart3 said: Recently I stumbled upon the song Yours by Post Malone and it reminded me of Shadow and Sonic’s dynamic and wanted to share it with you alongside my thanks!

E: Oh my GOD 😭 These father-talking-about-his-daughter-getting-married songs are KILLING ME! I do think this song is especially fitting, since even though the song is emotional, it's actually kind of threatening haha. VERY on brand for my depiction of Overprotective!Sonic. Thank you so much for sharing, it made me cry!

theaussieblue said: I was reading your comics when this came on, and for some strange reason all I could think of was Shadow's endless journey through space for the woman who had taken his heart.

E: Whoa. I'm really honored that this song made you think of them and I can totally see it too! There's such a haunting sadness to the music that really resonates with that portion of my AU's story. I know I always kind of answer asks with a blunt "Shadow's been in space for most of my AU" but without having written the story into a proper fic yet, I don't think I've done a great job of emphasizing how sad that is meant to be. In trying to find the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with, he ends up spending decades on his own in the loneliest place imaginable: outer space! I'm thankful that you were able to feel what I was going for, even if it was with the aid of music. Thank you for sharing, I added it to my Shadora playlist.

Anon said: Have you ever heard the song Not Now by Blink 182? Man, ok idk if this is going to make sense so try to stay with me haha but I was listening to it the other day and the lyrics remind me soooo much of like, a scenario of what Sonic’s inner struggle might be trying to control Dark Sonic & it’s (the lyrics) directed towards Amy. Please tell me you understand and see the visionnnnn!! Lmao I have no one to share this with and I’m going feral over it 😂 (I looove me some dark sonic sonamy struggles )

E: First of all, you had me at Blink 182 lol. You're speaking directly to my alt/punk rock heart! Secondly, I LOVE that little music video you have in your head and I can totally see it! Ahh don't you just love how our brains are able to make up these cinematic pieces to songs?! I hope you have the encouragement you need to write this into a fic or make it into a drawing some day because I'd love to see it! I, too, love the drama of either Sonic or Amy succumbing to the darkness and it's the other that is their lifeline to returning to the light. 😩🤌❤️ Thanks for sharing your vision with me!

inkheartart said: Hi, just curious if you're still taking suggestions for your Sonamy Playlist because I have few. If that's all right. Stand by you - Rachell Platten | I really like you - Carly Rae Jepson | Wildfire - Smash Into Pieces | Love me like you do - Ellie Goulding | Sledgehammer - Fifth Harmony | Love's just a feeling - Lindsey Stirling

E: So many of your suggestions are on point! Admittedly, "Stand By You" is one of those songs that I repeatedly add and remove to the Sonamy playlist. It is 100% them but the only reason I sometimes take it off is because I end up hearing it too many times haha. Also "Sledgehammer" is seriously Amy's unofficial theme! 😍 Thank you so much for sharing these with me! I even added a few of them to the playlist 😊

blueblur4 said: Sonic sings Golden Hour by JVKE to Amy, saying how she looked in his eyes when he first met her, meaning he's confessing his feelings for her. Than on their 30th wedding anniversary Sonic sings it again for Amy for an anniversary gift. When Sonic finishes Amy says, "I remember you singing me that" or "I haven't heard you sing that sing in forever." Meanwhile Aurora is surprised that her dad can sing.

E: That's such a beautiful idea! I really like the idea of Sonic choosing to sing the same song to her at such a milestone anniversary, because I'm sure Amy might have thought he'd have forgotten something like that. It's so sweet!

saphstories said: NO BUT LISTEN I JUST HAD THE CUTEST/FUNNIEST IDEA FOR SHADORA: Shadow goes over to Aurora's house either to pick her up for a date or just hang out and sneaks up to her window (he just seemed a little bit comfy on the window sill in FPS so me theorizing that's a normal thing) and she's listening to music and singing along (Rory being Rory) but Shadow is /shook/ that she's listening to Crush 40...Specifically I Am All Of Me. He doesn't know whether to laugh or be embarrassed but as always when Aurora sings or something he enjoys the show and she's so swept up in it that she doesn't even realize he's there watching her...until she turns around and his sudden appearance scares the bejeepers out of her. Now Shadow starts laughing and Rory's like "Oh yeah?" And to get him back starts BLASTING AT FULL VOLUME: "All Hail Shadow." Singing and dancing so exaggeratedly that Shadow gets embarrassed but goes in to have fun with her (whatever that looks like, dancing and singing or even some air guitaring?)...and then they both get busted because "AURORA TURN THAT DOWN!"

E: LISTEN. If the themes from the games exist in Sonic's world for real, the second Aurora discovered "All Hail Shadow" not only would that song would be blasting NONSTOP because internally she's like "Hell yeah that's my beau" but she would ABSO-LUTELY tease Shadow about it. I just adore this scenario you've described! You totally get the fun energy that I try to build between the two (in addition to the more sappier, romantic stuff). This made me smile!

Anon said: I have a recommended song from a YouTuber that I sometimes watch,it’s called puzzle park,you might like it.

E: I have no idea what this is but I tell you what, that was an absolute blast. I like villain songs and this was giving serious 'villainous vibes' so that was fun!

heroofchaos asked: Have you ever heard a country song called "The Painter"? its by Cody Johnson and I ask because about 3-4 weeks after it hit the radios I suddenly heard Shadow and Aurora in the lyrics.

E: Aw! I had never heard this song before you told me about it. I agree, I think it fits them very well! Aurora is very much an optimist and so she has a very different way of seeing the world than Shadow originally did. Thank you for sending that to me!

pellet-the-cat said: I cannot get this out of my head! Since you headcanon Jeremy Jordan as Rory's Voice, how cool would it be to have Gender Swapped Boon be voiced by Erika Henningsen?🤩

E: This message was not exactly related to a song but I wanted to include it because now it's completely changed how I think about "More Than Anything" (For the better!) 😭 Now when I listen to it, I'm picturing Rory and Boon singing it together (even if it doesn't fit their story, their voices sound so dang good together!). This was such a cool idea, thanks for sharing!

[mylovesstuffs]

Entry #02

24.01.2025 - 02:52

The fact that so many people here feel self-conscious and insecure about their smiles breaks my heart. It’s disheartening, to say the least. I know I’m here trying to comfort you all, but reading your responses makes me feel a little lighter though I know it’s cruel of me to admit. I usually don’t like to be vulnerable, not online and definitely not in public, but for your sake, and because I understand how it feels, I’ll share why I feel that way.

It’s because I’m insecure too.

To the point where COVID was a relief for me because wearing masks in public became normalized. From 2020 to 2025, I’ve been wearing a mask every single day and I'm not exaggerating.

To the point where my friends unmask me once every two months (because I don't unmask every time they want) just so they don’t forget what I look like.

To the point where I only have 12 unmasked photos of myself as a teenager.

To the point where I’ve become known as “the mask girl.”

To the point where people shame me for wearing a mask indoors and outdoors.

To the point where I’m often targeted or pressured by others to unmask myself.

To the point where my juniors have never even seen my face.

But what really hit me is realizing so many of you feel insecure about your smiles. I thought I was alone in this. For me, it’s my smile too. It’s something I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember. It surprises me because, to me, I’ve never seen a bad smile in my entire life. Not one. Truly. People even make fun of me for finding everyone attractive and beautiful, but I do! Everyone is unique in their own way. I genuinely think everyone is unique and beautiful. What you see in the mirror isn’t what others see. People see you differently than you see yourself, they see beauty where you might not. Yet here I am, telling you this, even though I can’t seem to believe it about myself or apply it in my life. I hate my smile. I hate it to the point that I avoid it entirely. And it hurts even more because my own father has been the one to point it out. My family knows how sensitive I am about it, and they go out of their way to avoid making me feel worse. But my father doesn’t realize this. He’s told me outright several times not to smile or laugh with my teeth showing (as if I could laugh any other way).

It broke me. To know that everyone around me understood that except him. To him, it’s not a big deal. To him, he's oblivious. Though I know he has a bit of a narcissistic personality but it's not that bad. Laughing and smiling are involuntary, natural expressions of joy or amusement—things that happen without much thought. So to tell me not to smile or laugh feels deeply unfair, even cruel, when you think about it. I’ve been made to feel self-conscious about even being happy. But at the same time, I know he isn’t intentionally trying to hurt me. He’s just oblivious to how deeply his words affect me. And that’s the tricky part, isn’t it? People often don’t realize how their comments especially about something as personal as physical appearance can linger. The logical side of me knows he doesn’t mean harm. But the emotional side of me can’t help but feel the weight of those words. It’s a reminder that even the people closest to us, the ones we expect to understand us best, can sometimes miss the mark entirely.

So yeah, I guess that’s why I felt a strange sense of comfort knowing that others feel this way too. It’s not something we can always control, but maybe it’s something we can learn to embrace. And from the bottom of my heart, I know that if SEVENTEEN ever knew about this, they’d be the first to hug us. As their fans, their friends, or someone even closer to them, they’d want us to know how special we are. How beautiful we are. They’d remind us that our smiles—the ones we hate—are the ones that light up their world. Insecurities often feel like a big deal to us, even if others might think they're trivial or wonder why we're bothered by them. But the truth is, insecurities are deeply personal and sensitive, and because of that, we should really be kind and understanding toward one another.

You’re not alone. And you are so, so much more beautiful than you think.

OT13 reacting to their s/o who loves smiles but feels insecure about showing their teeth

Request: Halooo I am the same anon that req wisdom tooth drabble!!! So can I req for svt ot13 s/o that love smile but never showed their teeth cause they're insecure with it?? I do have an open bite and I do be jealous w ppl that can smile with their normal teeth 🥲🥲 Also can I be ur ⭐️ anon??

A/N: This is dedicated to all kinds of smiles—big, small, toothy, closed, crooked, or perfectly aligned. It’s easy to compare ourselves to others, especially when society has such rigid standards for something as personal as a smile. But the truth is, the world isn’t looking for perfect smiles; it’s looking for your smile—the one that lights up the people around you, the one that reflects your joy, and the one that makes you you. Whether you’re someone who shows off their teeth confidently or someone who keeps their smiles shy, you are absolutely radiant just the way you are. I hope this reaction brings you warmth, and maybe even a little courage to embrace your smile, because SEVENTEEN and I think it’s the best one there is. Thank you for reading, and remember: your smile is a gift, not just to you but to everyone lucky enough to see it! 💛

I definitely encourage you to read everyone's part, especially Minghao's.

Seungcheol: Cheol would notice right away how you always smile with your lips closed. He’d encourage you without pushing too hard, so you’d catch him saying things like, “I love it when you smile—it’s my favorite thing about you.” And when you explain why you’re self-conscious, his protective mode kicks in. In his mind, you’re perfect exactly as you are. He’d make a habit of kissing your forehead after every smile, as if to say, Thank you for sharing this with me. Warm, comforting, and always your biggest cheerleader.

Jeonghan: Jeonghan is a tease—but in the sweetest way possible. He’d catch you hiding your teeth and tease you playfully about how even your shy smile could start a fan club. But deep down, he’d be the FIRST to remind you that nobody’s smile is ‘wrong’. He’d even come up with ridiculous scenarios like, “If anyone says anything about your teeth, I’ll report them to Smile Security.” Sure, it’s dramatic, but somehow it’s comforting. With him, you’d slowly start to see your smile through his eyes: bright, genuine, and absolutely worth showing off.

Joshua: Shua’s the ‘patient and reassuring’ type. He’d never rush you into anything but would always make it known how much he loves your smile—whether or not it shows your teeth. He’d probably sit with you one evening and casually mention how he used to be insecure about something too, just to remind you that everyone has their struggles. The way he’d look at you every time you smiled? Pure love and admiration. Slowly but surely, you’d start feeling like, Maybe my smile isn’t so bad after all.

Jun: Junhui wouldn’t even let you finish explaining your insecurity before he’d start showering you with compliments. He’d be so sweet and genuine about it too, like, “What? But your smile is so pretty! Have you seen yourself?” He’d probably find little ways to make you smile more, through goofy antics or heartfelt gestures. The best part? He’d never let you feel like you had to change—he loves your smile, whether it’s teeth-showing or not. And his genuine enthusiasm? It’s impossible not to feel a little brighter around him.

Hoshi: Hoshi would make it his personal mission to see your biggest, toothiest smile. He’s dramatic like that. He'd do the silliest things to make you laugh, like impersonating the other members or dancing in the weirdest ways (mind you he's performance team leader TT). When you finally let out a full smile, he’d stop mid-act and just stare. “Wow. That’s the one. That’s the smile that could light up a stadium.” And you’d know he’s not exaggerating (even though he’s Hoshi and exaggerates everything). It’s just how he loves—with his whole heart. I'm feeling soft :(

Wonwoo: He’d notice your insecurities but wouldn’t bring them up directly. Instead, would focus on making you comfortable and appreciated. He’d probably start complimenting you in subtle ways, like, “Your smile is really nice,” or “You look happiest when you smile.” Over time, his steady reassurance would make you feel less self-conscious. And when you finally smile without holding back, he’d just give you that soft, proud look, as if to say, See? I knew it was beautiful.

Woozi: Woozi would be a mix of logical and sweet about it. He’d listen to your reasons and then quietly debunk every single one of them, like, “Who said teeth have to be perfect to make a smile beautiful? That’s nonsense.” He’d focus more on how your smile makes him feel—happy, loved, and lucky to know you. And if you ever caught him sneaking a photo of you smiling? Just know it’s because he wants to remember how happy you looked in that moment.

Dokyeom: Oh boy, Seokmin would be all over this. He lives for smiles, especially yours. He’d probably start a whole campaign to make you feel better about it, complete with compliments, funny jokes, and random bursts of Look at that gorgeous smile! energy. You’d have no choice but to smile around him because he’s just that infectious. And when you finally let out a toothy grin, he’d gasp like, “I KNEW IT! YOU HAVE THE BEST SMILE IN THE WORLD!” Dramatic? Yes. Effective? Absolutely.

Mingyu: Kim Mingyu, the man he is, would be the type to go above and beyond to make you feel good about your smile. He’d start by complimenting you constantly and taking candid photos where you look natural and happy. Then, he’d show them to you like, “Look at this—your smile could cure my bad days.” He’d probably even bring it up to the members like, “Isn’t her smile the best thing ever?” And when you roll your eyes at him, he’d just grin and say, “See? Even your eyeroll smile is perfect.” AHHGHTCGTCGCFFCCT

Minghao: Hao would be supportive and no-nonsense. He’d listen to your insecurities, acknowledge your feelings, and then remind you that nobody’s perfect. “Imperfections make us human,” he’d say, and it would somehow hit deeper than you expected. He’d probably encourage you to focus on how your smile feels rather than how it looks, and over time, his grounded perspective would help you see your smile in a whole new light. With him (with others too), you’d start to appreciate the beauty in being uniquely you.

Seungkwan: Seungkwan would be the loudest advocate for your smile. “Are you kidding me!” He’d probably start hyping you up every time you smiled, to the point where it becomes impossible not to feel confident about it. And if anyone dared to say something negative about your teeth? Oh, he’d drag them to filth, no hesitation I'm telling you. With Seungkwan in your corner, you’d never have to doubt your smile again.

Vernon: He would be ridiculously sweet. He’d casually drop comments like, “Your smile’s cool,” and then act like it’s no big deal—when really, he’s melting inside every time he sees it. He’d never pressure you to show your teeth but would secretly be over the moon whenever you did. And the way he’d look at you in those moments? Pure adoration. Honestly, he’d make you feel like the coolest person in the world, open bite or not.

Dino: Chan would be all about boosting your confidence. He’d give you a pep talk about how unique smiles are the best smiles and how yours is his favorite thing about you. He’d hype you up so much that you’d almost feel like a celebrity. And when you finally smiled without holding back, he’d act like it’s the greatest thing he’s ever seen. “That’s it! That’s the smile that could rules my heart!” That’s just how much he cares.

[winchesterdreamgirl88]

All That Matters

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: You get hurt on a hunt and Dean takes care of you

Word Count: 662

Warnings: None

A/n: My attempt at a fluffy Dean imagine:)

You had never been one to back down from a hunt. The adrenaline, the challenge, and the thrill of saving innocent lives—those were the things that made you feel alive. But tonight, it all went wrong.

Dean had warned you. He'd told you to stay in the car, to leave the heavy lifting to him. But you were never one to sit on the sidelines, especially when someone was in danger. So, with the courage of a Winchester in your veins, you’d gone in.

And now, here you were, lying in a motel room bed with a makeshift bandage on your side, the faint sting of blood still fresh on your skin. It wasn’t anything life-threatening—just a gash that required more than a few stitches. But you could see the worry in Dean's eyes as he knelt beside the bed, gently brushing a strand of hair from your face.

"I told you to stay in the car," Dean muttered softly, his voice laced with frustration and concern, his green eyes darkened with worry. "You never listen."

You managed a weak smile, your hand reaching out to take his. "Someone had to make sure you didn’t get yourself killed," you teased softly, trying to lighten the mood.

Dean sighed, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your forehead. "I can take care of myself," he said, his voice low and soothing. "But I’m damn glad you’re here. Still… you scared the hell outta me."

You pulled him a little closer, feeling the warmth of his body beside yours. You could tell how hard he was trying to keep his cool, but the tremor in his voice was undeniable. This wasn’t about the hunt anymore. This was about you. About him caring for you in a way you didn’t think anyone could.

"Sorry," you whispered, your voice barely audible as you traced the line of his jaw with your fingers. "I didn't mean to worry you."

Dean's hand rested on your hip, his thumb gently brushing over the fabric of your shirt, as if making sure you were still there, still safe. His breath was steady but his eyes still held that underlying fear. "Don’t apologize. I just—" He stopped, taking a breath. "You’re my world, you know that? You’re everything to me."

Your heart melted at the words. You were everything to him? It was the most beautiful thing you’d ever heard. In a world filled with darkness, you and Dean had found something real—something worth fighting for.

"I know," you whispered, your voice soft but filled with all the emotion you felt for him. "And you’re everything to me, too."

Dean’s lips curled into a small smile, a tender one. He was still there, still so close, still so steady. His hand moved up to brush against your cheek, his thumb stroking the skin there gently. "We’re gonna get through this," he murmured, his forehead pressing against yours. "I’ve got you."

You closed your eyes, letting the feeling of Dean’s love and care wash over you. It was like nothing else mattered when he was near. You were safe in his arms.

"I’ll be okay," you whispered, feeling the drowsiness start to settle over you. "Just… stay with me?"

"Always," Dean replied, a quiet promise in his voice. He tucked you closer into his side, pulling the blanket over you both. "I’m not going anywhere."

As you drifted off to sleep, your last thought was how lucky you were to have Dean, someone who would always be there to catch you when you fell—physically and emotionally.

Dean’s love for you was unwavering. You could feel it in every touch, every quiet moment you shared. And you knew that, no matter what, you’d face whatever came your way together.

After all, with Dean by your side, there was nothing you couldn’t handle.

[juvinadelgreko]

guys i was just thinking about the scene where lip tells ian to keep practicing his geometry theorems and how mickey's face falls in the background because he's so scared of ian leaving him for west point, of ian making something out of himself and leaving mickey (who sees himself as "fucked for life" behind).

and it made me think:

I think they would've made it even if ian had gone to west point. it's in new york, so pretty far from chicago, but dammit ian would've scraped and saved every penny he made from whatever stipends he got or earned from whatever jobs he worked (idk how those things work at a military academy) to a) send some back to his siblings and b) to see mickey whenever he could. no matter how many times mickey suggests that breaking things off would be better or easier for ian, ian flatly refuses, saying all the fancy schools and achievements in the world don't mean shit to him if he can't have the person he loves with him.

i don't know how military schools work but i imagine they'd do something like this:

i think they would've texted when ian was allowed phone/computer privileges, emailed too. but the real important shit would've gone into letters. real, snail mail letters. because god forbid terry or his brothers get ahold of mickey's phone and see he's been calling gallagher, that they're long distance lovers.

so the real important shit goes into letters. that mickey writes on totally nondescript paper and mails from a PO box under a fake name. ian writes back and addresses everything to the gallagher house, care of mandy or lip. he also includes a letter for the rest of his family, and mandy, because she's his bestie, but someone always makes sure mickey gets his letter.

and when ian's saved enough for a bus ticket, they meet in pittsburgh or cleveland, somewhere halfway between because that's cheaper than going all the way to chicago. even if it's just for a day. they just run around whatever city they're in for a day and enjoy being together until they have to get back on their respective busses and go home.

and for the holidays? ian comes home for christmas and thanksgiving and dammit november-january becomes mickey's favorite time of year. over christmas one year ian surprises him by renting out a hotel for them for one night, nothing fancy, but they're able to get away from their families and be alone together for one night.

they eat and sleep and fuck and holy shit ian's gotten even more ripped at west point so mickey can't keep his fucking hands to himself. they order room service because ian has just enough cash leftover for that and while they eat they swap stories about whatever they couldn't fit in their texts or letters. ian sleeps like the dead curled up in mickey's arms because it's so much more peaceful than sharing a dorm with a bunch of other teenage boys and the bed is so much bigger and more comfortable.

they go home the next afternoon and help with christmas dinner. everyone eats together, mickey, mandy, kev, v, and the gallaghers.

ian goes back to school and tucks the photos of him and mickey in santa hats into the locked box under his bunk that has all mickey's letters in it.

anyway, I just think they still would've made it even if ian had gone to west point. ian-stubborn-motherfucker-gallagher wouldn't have heard a single world about how "everyone breaks up when they go to different schools" and "long distance is too hard."

through four years of school and eight of required service, he and mickey make it work. ian retires after, and marries mickey in his dress blues.

in every life, they end up together.

ian sometimes daydreams about a scenario like this, about what could've been. but after awhile he stops entirely because he's made such a beautiful life with mickey, even after all the shit they went through. he doesn't need to daydream about another life. he loves the one he has.

[kaeyaswifefromsnezhnaya]

This moment from 69 parallels the moment from 114, where little Teru told Aoi exactly the same thing - about her shortcomings, her cowardice and pride, about how it irritates him, and this also became a starting point for Aoi in that world, how 69 changed Aoi's views on life. Aoi in the new world is much more self-confident, repeatedly notes that she can stand up for herself - she was hurt by those words. She doesn't want to be like Teru described herAnd since she heard it at seven, not fifteen, it was easier for her to change for the better. And in the canon world, it's already too late for such words. Aoi of course understood what she did wrong, but it's much harder for her to deal with, she's already a bit more mature and it's harder for her to move away from her usual self-destructive behavior. And Akane told her about it only now because he didn't want to earlier, but since the situation had reached its peak, he had to. To capture Aoi's attention, right. Because right after he discouraged her with those painful words, he immediately calms her down by saying that he loves her just the way she is. He loves her with her flaws, because he's such a good guy, and no one else will be as understanding, because everyone around him does nothing but hurt Aoi. It's like an emotional swing. First saying that you hate her, and then that you love her, "I lied, silly." The way he grabbed her face doesn't seem cute either, it was rather rude. The fact that it's all for her own good somehow doesn't make these actions seem any different from what they are. Akane caricatured Aoi, chewed on walls, banged his head against them, ran with a bat, got her no matter what, grabbed her by the chin, threw her into the water, thought her tears were cute because only he could touch her, didn't ask her consent to kiss, thought that he alone knew everything. I just don't understand how these actions can be romanticized and justified by saying that it's normal, it's for her good, he just loves Aoi very much, it's not cringe - and literally all the characters think he's cringe when it comes to Aoi, but this is a comedy, it's not true. It's a refusal to call a spade a spade. Akane is a caricature of a yandere guy who is suddenly given the excuse that he did it for the greater good and not for the comedy in the background. Akane is made to love Aoi, Aoi is made to be loved by Akane, but this ties them together in a bad way. So many fans of Akane or Aoi complain about their favorite character being so tied to the other. It's an unhealthy codependency, both in the story and in the personalities, it just doesn't work that way. They just love each other so much, but it's kind of boring. They're like functions. Great love shouldn't exist without some life beyond itself. It doesn't help to empathize with characters whose main trait is that they love someone because that's all they are. In short, I had to somehow explain their behavior to myself in a way that was at least somewhat interesting and actually justified all of it.

The way Akane stopped questioning Aoi's behavior in the shinigami arc and just started acting.

For Akane to discuss the problem with words through his mouth? Yeah, lol, not far removed from the Aoi he condemns, he's also a big inventor, he's also stuck in his own theory and sees confirmation of it in everything. He doesn't need to find out Aoi's reasons and get to know her better, he consoles himself with the fact that he knows her better than others, he quickly drained the conversation about "what the hell is going on, Aoi, why are you doing this, I'm worried about you" to stupidly keep Aoi to himself. And what's wrong with that, it would seem that not wanting to let Aoi die is normal, but it's just _how_ he did it.

I believe in Akane's trauma now more than in anything else. He needs Aoi to support the trauma, so why talk to her normally? He needs to stupidly get her, so that she would be in his field of vision, in his complete control, that's why he was trying to get her every day. That's why he thinks that they simply need to become a romantic couple, and not just be together as friends, Akane needs to get whole Aoi completely.

But as soon as she suddenly moved away from him more than a hundred meters - he got stuck, he didn't even want to figure it out, Aoi shouldn't leave him. So he grabbed her, said all sorts of things out of anger, because he was tired of himself, tired of watching her, pretending that everything was fine, all his emotions were directed at her, she could really start to irritate him. And he finally pushed her to be his.

Aoi doesn't need to answer Akane that she likes him, he will convince himself of this, the danger has passed, Aoi will not leave him anywhere, and the rest is unimportant. "The Aoi in your head", Teru is right here lol, Akane is the only one playing this game, he literally doesn't need the real Aoi for this, he doesn't need to ask her opinion, he will make it up himself, Aoi is enough to just lie like a doll in his arms. Aoi wanted to leave and so he snapped, didn't let her, but what happened between them won't help them at all, Akane is still feeding this unhealthy need to control Aoi's well-being, Aoi doesn't understand what's going on. I feel sorry for Aoi the most here. As if she is some kind of evil temptress, or a masochist with a crush on her yandere friend, she is maximally intimidated by other people's behavior and confused.

Just as Kou must learn to live and let go of the dead, so Akane must learn to live apart from Aoi. It's a painful topic, he is not ready to let it go, but he should. But instead of moving towards healthy separation, we have 69 with gaslighting (Akane gaslights both Aoi and himself lol). Instead of some therapy, he only feeds his anxiety and the opinion that without it the world will collapse 😭 but wow, it's romantic

[brown-little-robin]

it went fine yesterday btw :}

[spaghett-onaplate]

depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

[quietwingsinthesky]

the last unicorn post from earlier has me thinking about the master. that yana is still in there, you know? is still someone he was, if even for a brief flash across the life of a time lord. there’s no way to unlive that life. there are ways to twist it later, sure, to make utopia into hell on earth. but the life was lived. in much the same way that the doctor can remember, can feel, the love he held onto as john smith even as that life is ripped out of his hands. the doctor choose denial and then grief and then to shutter it all away. and so john smith died, and so professor yana died, and the doctor and the master live on. the doctor has done this before, and he lives in orbit around humanity, trying to keep the best parts of them and hold them deep enough to take root (which he can pretend he gets to choose, as a time lord. as a human, it all floods in and can’t be dug back out.) but what about the master, right?

to borrow a turn of phrase: i think there are two time lords left in the universe, and they both learned how to regret.

[buttercupshands]

Congratulations on nothing. I'm back to drawing LoV again after a bit of a break

those are mostly just a redraw practice for fun Toga is a try in "more canon way of drawing" with color practice too

I'm sorry that it's in russian because I have to have some will to localize jokes that came into my head while drawing it

it's like... a robot au??? or something, mostly just a joke "what if AFo just built Tenko and changed what he wanted"

and this is a joke about our 'favorite' 419 plot twist so it's basically just a bunch of joked about AFO failing to get any way to get control instead Tenko's head is not empty. It downloaded games, friends and stuff about being a hero but NOT as a literal hero, more on "villains need help I'm a hero then" way

and yes that text behind is "hands" written all over the place bc I wanted to add hands in handwritten form

[orcelito]

Wild that anytime I post an update a lot of people read it and are even excited about it and have their own thoughts and reactions to it that I'll never know.

Comments are only the very tip of the iceberg with it. And I am Very grateful to commenters for letting me in on it. But in the same way that I'll be excited with my friends when a fic we love updates, it's likely that Other people enthuse with Their friends when my fic updates. And it's just so strange. An experience I'll never have access to.

Everyone's relationship with my fic is unique. So many different people with so many different circumstances and preferences... and the number of people that have told me that my fic is one of their favorites, some even saying it's their Favorite favorite... every single one of them have their own relationship with my writing.

It's just interesting to me. I think and think and think on my writing. I have my plans for basically the entire fic, the way I want it to end already thought out, all the major plot beats and the relationship progressions, All of that thought out. I love my writing so very much, but I'm on the inside looking out. This is my mechanical horse, and I'm in here laying out the groundwork and pulling levers and constructing limbs, puttering away making the horse move. Forever and always, my relationship with it will be more intimate than anyone's, and yet more clinical. Because I know it better than the back of my own hand, but I'll never have the experience of reading it fresh. Of reading it without knowing everything that's going to happen from now to the end and beyond. I won't have the thrill of the plot twists I have planned, the delight at seeing things progress, the horror at seeing things go wrong...

This is my mechanical horse, and I'm making it move.

I just always wonder what it must be like to see it from the outside. I hope to others that it's a pretty horse.

[crescentfool]

with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.

i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.

heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."

knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.

it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.

i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!

i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!