#long dick

[dj-litness]

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[funnykinky]

[sammieb9]

[smolllpp]

I need a new phone. Dm and let’s give each other a follow!

[analblast95]

fucking horny

I don't have many mutual or followers but I'm really fucking horny and Hella hard, I got a really big thick dick I'm trying to share

[sassywitchrebel]

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[beanneversean]

I love the 80s.

[sammieb9]

Jeezus

[everwalldigan]

Hear me out: Robin Dick would be the biggest Bruceman supporter and shipper.

This boy hates any of Bruce’s love interest with a passion because then his dad guardian spends less time with him and that’s obviously UNACCEPTABLE, SCANDALOUS even, so when rumours start circulating that Bruce Wayne is in a relationship with the Batman, he jumps right on the wagon.

Reporter, thirsty for a story: Mr Grayson what do you think about the rumours that Bruce Wayne is dating the Batman?

Dick: What do I think about my dads you mean? My very married very taken dads? My very faithful to each other plural dads?

He would fuel the rumours both as Robin and as Dick Grayson, punching criminals for talking bad about Wayne enterprises as Robin (“THAT’S MY STEPDADS COMPANY YOURE TALKING ABOUT!”). He would be on online forums all day talking about how Bruceman is the only Batman ship that makes sense and Doxxing people who disagree.

Bruce is so exasperated because this is happening at a time where only Alfred and Dick know his real identity so he can’t even do anything with ANYONE without making either Bruce Wayne or Batman look unfaithful.

Throw Reporter Clark Kent into the mix who has been sent to scope out the Bruceman story, who Bruce makes the mistake of flirting with at a gala. Both Clark AND dick are scandalised.

Dick, making a scene: HOW COULD YOU! BATMAN IS WAITING FOR YOU AT HOME AND YOURE HERE FLIRTING WITH SOME… SOME REPORTER??

Bruce, sighing: Dick-

Dick, tugging on Bruce’s suit and looking up at him with fake tears in his eyes: Dad, are you and dad getting a divorce? :(

Clark, panicking: NO NO THEYRE NOT GETTING A DIVORCE PLEASE DONT CRY

Meanwhile:

Bruce, crying in the corner: he called me dad

He would even go as far as insisting that Robin is his step sibling

Principal: how do you explain that whenever Robin is injured, Dick fails to show up at school the next day?

Dick: Robin and I are twins :) so when he’s injured I’m injured too and we have to stay home together!!

Bruce, whispering: I’m sorry, they’re not really twins but neither I or Bats have the heart to tell hem

[ashoss]

patrol is fun :DD

[violent138]

Bruce showing someone his kids' pictures from when they were little: "And this is Jason--"

Jason: "That's a picture of Tim, actually--"

Bruce, fumbling with his wallet: "This is Barbara when she was younger--"

Babs: "Steph isn't even a redhead, how are you messing this up?"

Bruce: "This is Cass--"

Steph: "That's literally a cropped baby picture of you. What are you doing?"

Bruce: "You can't see it fully but this is Alfred with Dick--"

Damian: "That used to be a picture of me and Grandfather."

Bruce: "Here's a picture of Tim."

Batkids: *examining it*

Tim: "That... actually could be anyone."

Damian, simultaneously: "It's not ugly enough for Drake."

Bruce, oblivious to the fight breaking out: "And this is Duke."

Duke, spitting out water when he sees it: "How the hell do you have that?"

Dick: "Well at least he's two for ten."

Jason, going through the photos: "Why are some of these fucking stock photos?"

Dick: "You think that's bad? He's got a picture from the circus with Tim circled in the crowd."

[longshlong730]

I honestly think women only want me around because it's long and I fuck unbelievably good,😏😘

[redactedrem]

Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.

Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.

He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.

He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.

Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"

"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.

[remcadll]

Dick is never going to get to have a midlife crisis because Bruce is going through his for him. also because he will not be making it to 40.

[funnykinky]