#live laugh fuck bpd

[graveyarrdshift]

the relationship between me and cutting my hair every time I go through a depressive episode should be studied

[filthygob]

feeling like fleabag, but not in a quirky funny way. more so in I'm an awful human being that keeps fucking up and is terrified of everyone leaving me kind of way. fleabag in a way that i keep begging for everyone to stay while pushing them away and blaming everyone and everything for all that has happened.

[kittiecupid]

accounts on here are so corny especially sex accounts

“im such a pretty pink angelic princess..” no my guy you sexualize grape and assaulting and are 25 pretending to be 12. ion give a fuck about age play but its fucking awful when you would be identical to how a 12 year old acts, with the only thing saving you being the age in your bio

i hate it how these things r so normalized on here, EVERY account I’ve made has just been swarmed with middle aged men. do these people not realize they’re like literally doing something illegal?? do we think everything is safe from reality online cause of that anonymous setting?? please use your stupid pig brains and realize all things online have a record to you irl too. morally or physically you’re all fucking disgusting.

i cant wait for the day the retards on here who think older men are so “daddy and hot 🥺🥺” realize 99% of the men on here are fat and balding with a weekly income of $50. from my experience even, absolutely none of these men on here are conventionally attractive. they’re all ugly, most likely smell, are creeps, will assault you, and not to mention they dont even type attractively. their grammar is always fucking awful and they talk like genuine monkeys. “Omg I was specializing the fuck out of you” what the fuck does that even mean 😭😭 Love old balding pigs all you want but stop acting like tumblrtards are gonna be strong rich men in black suits, you’re gross and they’re gross.

[bigbihatemachine]

10 years after I’ve left, my school has found my email and put together a ‘alumni email list’??? 

We’re a state comprehensive secondary school???

There’s no opt out button????

[deluluonmyback]

impulsivity in bpd can be cutting and dyeing your hair, but it’s also frying and destroying your hair to a point where it’s completely ruined and you’re self conscious of it everyday.

impulsivity in bpd can be having an attitude and saying some petty things to people, but it’s also ruining every good friendship and relationship you’ve ever had and you can’t stop yourself from sabotaging everything, so you end up alone in a deep pit.

impulsivity in bpd can be having some drinks, doing dr*gs, or having a lot of meaningless sex. but it’s also relying on drinking and dr*gs so much that you’re completely off your face all time and it ruins your image and every aspect of your life. and it’s also no one wanting a relationship with you because you “sleep around” or “probably have an std”.

impulsivity in bpd can be browsing an fps facebook. but it’s also stalking their every move online and their every step in the real world constantly because you need them so bad. you can’t live without knowing if they’re okay, knowing what they’re doing, knowing if they’re leaving you for someone else, etc.

the list goes on. us borderlines post a lot of shit about bpd, and in my personal case, laughing it off and sharing it to others makes me feel a bit better and i know that it makes others feel less alone knowing that other people are doing the same horrendous shit. but stop romanticising being obsessive, quirky, impulsive, and having an attitude. it’s fucking painful. the emotional aspect is PHYSICALLY painful. watching the world crumble around us because most of us can’t fucking stop ourselves is painful. the withdrawals from substances, s/h, etc because we are so prone to addiction is PAINFUL. i’m all for supporting our fellow borderlines and cluster b peoples, but STOP self diagnosing to be “trendy”. i’m not on about self diagnosing, etc if you’re certain and it means you’re getting the support that you absolutely need. everyone is deserving of help, whether healthcare wants to agree or not, EVERYONE deserves the help they need. but stop trying to make bpd sound fun. being euphoric is fun, the rest of it IS NOT. ITS FUCKING PAINFUL. thank u bye 💕

(ps. i hate making rant posts about this, but seeing people act like bpd is a “fun choice” in life pisses me the fuck off, every day is just pure fucking suffering. the people romanticising and hyping this shit up are the same people who will talk shit about any cluster b who is showing symptoms or having one hell of an episode. but this NEEDS to be out there x)

(edit: the amount of support i’ve had on this is unreal 😭❤️ i tried to word this the best i can but when i have a lot to say it often comes out making no fucking sense at all or something comes off the wrong way. i saw someone reply about the yanderes shit. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. i don’t know why the fuck people fetishise it, it makes me feel disgusting to have an fp even if i’m keeping as far away from them as possible. and also the “euphoric is fun”, i still do a lot of embarrassing and over the top shit when i’m euphoric that i regret. but in the moment, the happiness i feel i just embrace now because it’s not been often that i ever get to feel like that. thank you so much for the likes and reblogs, i really hope this post has helped y’all. I LOVE YOU ALL ❤️)

[reidmania]

matilda | spencer reid

summary; when the topic of kids come up between you and spencer, you admit you are scared of being a mother & having your own family with spencer because of generational trauma and your childhood.

warnings; hurt x comfort, fears of being a mother, mummy issues, daddy issues, mentions of child abuse, slight bpd reference (not even a noticeable one) , fears of passing on trauma, both open up about fears, spencer talks about the schizophrenia gene, fem reader, established relationships, angst and a fuck ton of comfort

an; ME ME ME ME ME ME !! so based off matilda by harry styles just so u know if it wasn’t obvious!! to be honest this didn’t do the justice for me i wanted it to but i think bc my fear is so far implemented that comforting myself w a fictional character doesnt even work.

Maybe it was too soon.

A year long relationship. A year of spending every other day possible by one another’s side. A year of sweet nothings, giggly mornings, and soft kisses on the way out when leaving for work. A year of hand holding and three squeezes as silent I love you’s.

Maybe it was too soon to have the conversation about your future together. Too soon to talk about marriage, buying a home, settling down, having kids — even if it was just future planning. It’s not like either of you were planning on having kids now, or getting married right now, or buying a home now. Its not like it was ‘Im ready for more right now’ conversation. It was just a ‘Do you see more for us’ conversation yet it seemed to hold the same looming cloud over your head.

It was brought up when JJ came in with her newborn henry, you were there just visiting Spencer while he had some spare time. You weren’t expecting to be there for an extra hour, holding the newborn in your arms cooing at his every little movement, Spencer by your side, hand on your knee as he looked down on the sweet baby.

Then, you were asked if you wanted kids and you froze. You didn’t have time to even think about answering before Emily was saying how much of a great mother you would be. How you were just naturally good with kids. You laughed and brushed it off as Spencer smiled and squeezed your knee gently.

You handed baby Henry back to JJ moments later.

“Do you.. Not want kids?” Spencer asked later. It was after dinner, the rain outside was pattering against the window, loud enough to be heard over the sound of the tv which was playing a random documentary Spencer had put on. The question caught you off guard. It wasn’t that you hadn’t talked about kids with Spencer, just not seriously.

You turned your head to look at him, you knew this was probably a necessary conversation to have. You knew it was probably time to be honest yet that left a heavy weight on your chest and an overwhelming sense of nausea to your stomach — like the idea of having kids did.

“I don’t know.” You answered, honestly. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to have kids, you adored them, being around them, watching their wide eyes and curious faces when they got to that perfect toddler age when they were so curious about the world. You adored kids. It was that you didn’t think you could be a mother. Not a good one anyways.

Spencer’s face twisted into something, he shuffled a little on the couch, hands coming to rest on the back of it, behind your head as he sat up a little straighter. He didn’t answer, seemingly lost in thought, or a mental debate with himself. You could basically see the mental argument through his eyes and your chest fell.

“Do you?”

“Yes.” He answered instantly. You wanted to cry, you could actually feel the burning sensation in your nose because it felt like you were disappointing him. Normally — from your experience, people who wanted kids, longed for them, it wasn’t something they could pass off as fine without having. It was apart of their future lives.

“Oh.” It left your lips as your head dipped down slightly, wetting your lips as your mouth went dry. Your chest tightened with the crushing pressures of expectation and disappointment. His hand moved from the couch to tuck gently under your chin, lifting your head back to meet his eyes.

He looked at you like he was searching for something, and whatever it was he was looking for he seemed to find. “Is there a specific reason you don’t know?” He asked, voice gentle and steady, as if he knew.

“I don’t know” You answered again, it was unhelpful but the real answer seemed too heavy on your tongue to leave your lips. He tilted his head a little, his thumb gently running over your chin. “Okay. Thats okay.” He said, seemingly understanding your spiral of thought — or so you thought until he spoke again.

“Is— Is it me? Us?” He asked, as if you were doubting having kids with him, or a future with him. It was such a silly doubt you wanted to laugh because there was no way in the world, that was the last reason you would doubt your course of motherhood. Honestly, him being by your side made the thought a little lighter on your mind — not light enough.

You shook your head, “No, it’s not— Its nothing like that.. It’s just.. Me?” It came out as a question, a doubt more than you intended it too.

His eyebrows furrowed, hand moving from your chin to gently cup your jaw. “Do you want to tell me about that?” He asked softly, as if letting you know it was okay if you didn’t. That this conversation was entirely up to you and what you were comfortable with saying.

A huff left your lips as your head tilted to lean into his touch. “Have- Have you heard that saying? That the abused becomes the abuser, or hurt people, hurt people, or a household that once had an angry man will always have an angry man?” You rambled off the common sayings that only further installed the doubt that swarmed your mind and had since you were a teenager.

His features softened as he realised your point and what direction this conversation was heading towards, his thumb brushed over the soft skin of your cheek. “Mhm, a lot of abusers were also abused or experienced trauma in their childhood.” He nodded. Your frown deepened because you knew what he said was true.

“What if I become like them?” Your voice was quiet and barely above the whisper as the daunting fear left your lips, your eyes peered up at his. He didn’t need to ask who you were talking about, your parents.

He shook his head instantly, “You aren’t them.” He answered. You knew deep down he was right, but even looking in the mirror and seeing the features you shared with your parents made your stomach twist and chest carry a little heavier if you stared too long. When you noticed similar behavioural traits your mind would fog with self depreciation because of your hatred for them.

How could you ever love someone so similar to them, even if it was yourself?

“But what if I become like them. I feel like it’s wrong— and unfair for me to bring children into this world.. not when they could be so much like me.. Or like my parents.” You spoke, the earnest truth, no matter how much it hurt to say aloud.

His head further tilted and his heart ached at your words and the knowledge of your doubts, the way you viewed yourself as a second of your parents when from what he had heard you were so different. You were gentle and sweet, you had your moments like everyone did, but you weren’t them.

“I think any kid would be lucky to be like you. You’re gentle, caring, nurturing and dedicated. You show empathy to everyone— even those who don’t deserve it. Those are good traits for a child to develop” He spoke, listing off the numerous good things about you. It made your heart ache.

“But what about everything else? What if i pass.. My issues onto my children? Thats unfair. It would just be mean” You ushered out, mind swirling with doubts that kept you awake at night.

“Your parents endured a lot in their childhood, I know you know that. Their parents weren’t kind to them and your parents weren’t kind to you-You don’t have to feel bad about that, because it was unfair, and wrong of them to treat you that way regardless of the way they were treated in their childhood. The difference is you recognise that, you recognise what happened was wrong and the way you were treated was wrong. You’re putting in the effort to heal and to be better. You aren’t your parents, whether you decide you want to have kids or not. You aren’t them.”

His words weighed on your mind as you tried to process everything you were saying. It wasn’t the first time you had spoken to Spencer about your trauma or your childhood. You had been open with him about the abuse you endured, as well as the similar abuse your parents had both endured by their own parents. You told him about the guilt you held, how you for some reason felt bad for your parents.

It was a common theme in your mind, that maybe if your parents had met someone in their younger years who gave them a hug and and reminded them the world wasn’t as cruel as their parents made it seem — maybe your life would have turned out differently. Maybe your parents would’ve been good. Maybe your mother would have been nurturing and sweet, your father kind and humorous.

You were blessed in the way you had those people around you, the ones who reminded you that life wasn’t all it seemed to be in the house you grew up in. It wasn’t covering bruises with stolen makeup, or constant yelling and arguments after your father had drank too much, it wasn’t the dismissive and uncaring nature of your mother after a bad day — which seemed to have been everyday.

You were blessed in the way you got out when you had the chance. You went to therapy, you made something of yourself. You surrounded yourself with good hard working people, and you had met the most amazing man.

And yet you felt guilty that you had been able to do this, and your parents hadn’t. You wondered if the curse of natural unhappiness was passed down generation to generation, and would end your kids in a similar position. You wondered if you would become the same shameful and dismissive as your mother, or the same cruel and unkind as your father.

“It’s just, so scary.” You breathed out, because it was. “I don’t want to put someone else through what I had went through. I don’t want to ruin any chance they had at being good by being a child of mine.” You mumbled out, the best words you could find to describe your current state of mind.

He nodded understandingly, listening to every word and filling in every empty space your mind didn’t let you. He sat up a little straighter as he kept his gaze soft on yours. “Have I told you about my fear of passing the schizophrenia gene down to my future children?” He asked.

You shook your head. He hummed. “It was really bad a few years ago. I thought kids would be completely off the table for me, because the idea of bringing a kid into a world who may have to suffer a disease like that seemed so… unfair” He used the word you had repeated.

You understood what he meant, you really did. It seemed so wrong to do that to someone who had no choice over the life they were being brought into, no idea’s of the struggles they would face.

You listened carefully to his words, “How do you.. stop being scared of that?” You asked, because clearly his mind had changed since then. You couldn’t seem to get the fear out of your mind. It was constant eating away at your brain.

He paused for a moment, eyes staying on yours. He let out a soft breath, “You don’t. Thats not something that goes away, because it’s a valid fear to have, all the things you are scared of you are right to be scared of.. But it only further proves you care.” He said gently, “I think it’s less about stopping the fear and instead accepting it.” He said.

Your brain didn’t quite compute his words, his thumb danced gently over your skin. He took note of your lack of understanding what he meant. “Accepting that it is possible that we may pass things down to our children, whether its diseases or behaviours — The only thing we can do about that is be there for them when they need to learn how to cope with it, loving them regardless. You are so capable of love, and care. I see it in you everyday. You embody it.” He breathed out.

You curled gently into his side, your face coming to bury itself in the fabric of his shirt. His hand moved to rest on your upper back, rubbing soft circles over the skin there. You craved the comfort of his touch as your mind processed the comfort of his words. He was happy to provide it.

“I think I should talk about this in therapy” You mumbled out. He let out a soft chuckle, you felt the vibrations from it in his chest, making your lips curve into a slight smile. He nodded.

“I think if kids are something you want and the only thing stopping you is this fear then its something you should talk about in therapy. I know your parent’s took a lot from you, but I don’t think you should let them take your chance of building a family that will show you the unconditional love and care you deserve.”

And you did, the next time you went to therapy you brought up the topic of fearing passing down intergenerational trauma, and you spoke about every doubt on your mind. Later you came home and told Spencer about it.

He held you in his arms and kissed all over your face, expressing how proud he was and how much he loved you.

[genericpuff]

What is the thing you feel like Lore Olympus failed at or did the worst. The comic has a magnitude of problems but what is one problem that you have the most hatred for or just flat out makes you angry?

(Just curious)

There are so, so many things I could point to as "the worst" thing that the comic did, because it has a LOT of worsts, but I think ultimately the failing of the original myth's messaging has to take the cake because it's ultimately the root of all of LO's problems.

Rachel herself seems to have this disconnect between what's going on in her head vs. what she's actually writing. It's especially present in her Q&A's and interviews where she claims certain things about the comic / text that just aren't present in the slightest during the actual comic. One such example that ties into my answer is this response she gave to Girl Wonder Podcast:

"I feel like female characters in general, people will be a little harsher on them and sometimes way harsher on them, and I used to be like.. before I started writing the story and like making a story I was like yeah, sexism is not that bad, and [now] I was like oh it's bad. It's quite bad [laughs], so like, I don't know, I feel like the female characters in the story don't get so much of a pass. But this isn't consistent across the board, it's not all the time"

It's ironic at best and tone deaf at worst that she would claim that it's her audience being harsh on the female characters, when she's the one who wrote them into the characters they are that would get that reaction. Minthe had her BPD retconned so now she's just the abusive other girl. Hestia was turned into a cruel hypocrite when it was revealed she was a lesbian. Hera is racist to nymphs and cruel to the lower class and yet she's still rewarded in the end by getting to run off with a nymph girl who we've never seen her have any extended interaction with. And worst of all, Demeter was robbed of all of her agency all in favor of turning her into the evil Mother Gothel mom who's overbearing and cruel to poor Persephone. Some of these women deserve to be called out (Hera and Hestia), and others like Minthe and Demeter were simply used as props to do exactly what Rachel claims she doesn't like people doing and is labelling as sexism - to get harsh reactions and give the audience someone to hate on. Rachel desperately needs to learn to read her own work. Her audience is "sexist" towards these women because Rachel wrote them that way.

It fucking sucks and it's, ngl, extremely disrespectful to the messaging of the original myth that was written to comfort and empower the mothers who had lost their daughters to marriages back in the day. It wasn't some simple "aww the girl moved out and now she doesn't visit anymore!" girls who got married off were often literally never seen again and it wasn't by choice. Not only that, but in certain regions (such as in Athens) the women were isolated to their own section of the house upstairs (while the men lived downstairs) so that they wouldn't be seen by visiting guests or strangers.

It's why in some cultures the original H x P myth was considered a "golden standard" for marriages (at the time) because not only was Persephone given power over the domain alongside Hades, but she actually did get to see her mother - but it wasn't because Hades was just such a kind guy who would let her go willingly, it's because Demeter had to literally hold the world hostage and fight for her right to reunite with her child.

So for LO to not only twist Demeter's love and justifiable concern for her daughter into "helicopter parenting", but also rob her of her agency and power in fighting for her child, it fundamentally misses the entire point of the original myth and undoes itself as a retelling that's trying to be taken seriously in the discussion of Greek myth media. And for that, Rachel should be ashamed of herself.

[zombholic]

hii me again (the one that just texted about forgotten ask) but it was about abby (i had a doctor!abby in mind but it’s up to you) couple of days ago it was basically about hurt/comfort, angst type of thing where you know they fight, scream and cry and then kiss and make up, and talk and whole lot of fluff, and apologize<3 but you can write it as you see fit (obviously, it’s your work) but it was just an idea, cause i’m a sucker for this type of fics😭(i basically just wrote the whole plot here cause i didn’t want you to look for it)

JEALOUS GIRL — abby anderson

summary — basically what anon said ^

description — poc!fem reader with bpd, doctor!abby, angsty, very angry reader.

— 🎧　　 ◦ ✺ 　 📽　 ⟢ —

You and Abby had went to her best friend’s birthday get together, Leah. You quite honestly couldn’t stand that stuck up piece of shit, she has no problem flirting with your girlfriend in front of you like you’re not there. Abby is one of those girls where you have to tell her you have feelings for her or else she thinks you’re just being friendly, how else did you guys start dating to begin with.

Your girlfriend was sat on the couch next to Leah, who was too close for comfort. Nora had pulled you aside to have a drink with you, she was your favorite honestly, the complete opposite of Leah yet somehow all of them get along her.

“You said you were going to college soon right?” Nora was trying to make conversation with you but your glare never left the couch, you try to stay calm and collected around Abby’s friends since they were much older but seeing her grab onto your girlfriends arm like that made you want to violently grab her head and smash it into your knee.

“Y/n?” Nora waved her hand in front of your out of touch face, blinking your eyes a couple of times you looked over at her “Sorry, I get distracted easily. Yeah I’m going to start my career in becoming a veterinarian.” You gave her an apologetic smile.

The rest of the night stayed like that, Leah basically begging for Abby to fuck her right in front of you. Your blood was boiling to the point your body started heating up, if anyone touched you they would get third degree burns. When it was finally time to leave you swore all love for Abby was pushed deep inside leaving you filled with anger.

“Lemme get the door fo—“ “I can open the door for my fucking self.” You shoved her hand away from the handle of her car, getting inside and slamming it so hard it almost shook the whole car. Abby looked at you with the most confused expression plastered across her face “What’s wrong with you?” She started her engine before going back to look at you “Don’t fucking talk to me right now.” Your arms were crossed over your chest, your nails digging deep into your boiling flesh.

The rest of the ride back home lingered with tension and anger fuming from you. Right as she parked the car you were quick to get out repeatedly the same action to slam the door, walking inside your shared home with her you shut the door right before she walked in. Storming up to the shared bedroom you started to take your shoes off, wanting nothing more than to just lay down.

“Y/n, what is your actual problem?” Abby walked over to you as she grabbed your arm as gently as she could she needed you to look at her. Abby was big on communication and you weren’t, you both having very different lives that to you communication wasn’t a thing when you were angry, your anger never regulated properly only going from zero to hundred in a matter of seconds.

When you got angry, you weren’t you like someone else stepped into your body and did whatever it took to defend yourself from any pain. “For a fucking Doctor you’re really fucking stupid.” The words spitting out of your mouth were laced with venom, Abby taken aback from the sudden insult “Why are you being so disrespectful?” You laughed at her lack of situational awareness “Wow you’re really stupid Abby, you have the audacity to say im disrespectful when you were basically fucking Leah right in front of me!” Your hands clenched into a tight fist, nails digging into your palms it’s like all your emotions were turned off but anger.

“Calling me stupid isn’t going to make this situation any better, I suggest you fix your attitude then come speak to me.” You knew you pushed her buttons badly, Abby grabbed her pajamas before heading to the guest room but not before slamming the door.

You sat on your bed trying to calm yourself down only failing when you start sobbing into the pillow. Why do you always do this? Always quick to attack before anything else. God she was going to leave you wasn’t she? Abby can’t handle someone like you. You’re too much to handle, this is why you can’t keep a relationship.

Horrible thoughts ran through your head at hundreds miles per hour causing you to sob harder into the pillow, you hated that you couldn’t be normal, why couldn’t you just talk to her?

You decided to change into your pajamas before heading over to the guest room where you saw Abby reading a book, so focused she didn’t notice you by the doorway. “Are you gonna leave me?” You felt the tears form back into your eyes streaming down your face, the swelling and tightness in your throat hurting, you quickly covered your mouth with the back of your hand trying not to sob.

Abby was quick to put the book down, walking over to you to embrace you into her arms, her hand coming to hold the back of your head trying to soothe you. Sobbing into her chest you apologized profusely “I’m so— sorry Abby, I don’t know why I do that.” You managed to say between hiccups and sobs.

“Baby, baby look at me.” She held your face in her hands making you look at her, you saw the expression on her face soften seeing her lover cry like that felt like pins and needles in her heart “I’m not going to leave you, ever. I love you, I just need you to work on communicating with me and I will help you with that. I don’t think you realize how much your words actually hurt.” Her thumbs wiping every tear that fell down your puffed up face.

“Now tell me why you were so angry with me earlier?” Her soft blue orbs never leaving your tear filled eyes. “I just didn’t like how Leah was all over you, she was grabbing your arm and leaning on you, it made me uncomfortable and mad.” She acknowledged every word you said “I’m so sorry I didn’t notice what she was doing, i’ll talk to her about it and it will never happen again, I promise you baby.” She pressed her soft lips against yours, the most gentle kiss she’s ever given you.

“I love you Y/n and I’m going to marry you someday so don’t ever think that I will leave you.” You giggled a little at her marriage comment before you grabbed her face and kissed her deeply.

— 🎧　　 ◦ ✺ 　 📽　 ⟢ —

authors note — i hope this is what u were looking for!! btw i have bpd so everything i wrote is everything i feel when im angry😭

[earwigconsumer]

helloo first of all i just wanna say ur art is rly cool !! anyways could you maybe say some stuff you know abt kennith since its pretty hard to find accurate information?

Holy fuck I really appreciate that dude. Thank you a lot 🙏🙏🙏

And also I'm not too good with non specific stuff, so I'm just gonna spit out everything I can think of about Kennith

His birthday is October 12th 1968

He is 5'4

Kennith would drink the fuck out of kool-aid

Kennith cannot cook, he would probably burn the house down and he wouldn't care if he burned down with it

He gives himself burns on purpose anyway

Kennith likes rats and cats

He also really likes cats who look like they've gone through shit, like him

He and Stephanie shared makeup

Kennith pissed on a church's bush one time and declared it as his sinful territory

(A lot more under the cut)

Kennith just, breaks into Stephanie's house sometimes through her window. Sometimes to steal milk, borrow shit, or do what ever

Stephanie is fine with that

Kennith is homosexual and aromantic

Kennith and Stephanie got bullied for being friends with each other

He lives in Calumet, Michigan

When drunk Kennith gets extra gay and laughs at everything. Eventually getting really sleepy and incoherent

Kennith is that guy who would wear shorts all year, even in the winter

Kennith normally just throws on tanktops and shorts, switching to pull overs and jeans in the winter. Anything comfy really. Sometimes he dresses really good though, like 20% of the time

80% of the time it's gym shorts, tank tops, and t-shirts

Kennith can swim

Kennith sometimes just breaks into a country accent sometimes

Kennith likes candy

His favorite tastes are smoke, blood, rootbeer, alcohol of any kind, sour candies, and dick I MEAN WHO SAID THAT? WHO SAID THAT??

Kennith doesn't like being touched, unless it's in bed

How ever if he was hugging with genuine love and care he would get really emotional or all flustered have to go be alone for a while and be emotional later

Kennith paints his nails

If kennith were to go to a school dance (he didn't he spend them in his basement with Stephanie)

He would just kinda stand by the punch bowl with his little cup drink it, fill it, drink it, fill it, drink it, fill it, drink it, fill it, drink it again, and fill it

Kennith likes 60s garage rock and psychedelic rock

Kennith has BPD and depression

He steals a lot

He's also really sexual, he into bdsm and guro. Ghost has called him a kinky little shit

He thinks he'd trip in a ball gown

He doesn't have a schedule, he just does shit when he feels like

He'd get annoyed with clueless people and like if he has to repeat himself it pisses him off. He also doesn't like explaining when you're not on the same page as him immediately, he's tolerant with Stephanie doing that though

His favorite color is coral

He has a super unstable sleep schedule

Stephanie apprently carried around Kennith sometimes

He would have a gore and an nsfw blog on tumblr if he were alive now

If being gender-fluid was more known in the 80s he would have been gender-fluid. If he were alive now he would be gender-fluid. Cuz it's the 80s though, he just assumes he's a dude who feels more feminine sometimes

Kennith would refuse therapy because he "doesn't need that shit like that"

Kennith would like beanie babies if he were alive now

He twirls his hair

Sometimes when he didn't wanna be bothered about it, he'd cover up his sh with foundation to make it less noticeable. Most of the time he was too lazy

Kennith has abandonment issues

Kennith shaves

He LOVES milk

He would wear thigh highs

He doesn't know what job he'd have, he'd probably continue with repairing electronics though

Kennith drinks and smokes weed

Kennith's favorite alcoholic thing is champagne

Kennith would have a pet rat

Kennith can scream really loud

He makes self deprecating jokes quite a bit

Kennith would wear a skirt if he wouldn't have gotten the living shit bullied out of him. They would also be flashy and revealing

For Halloween Kennith would dress in all white and say he's sperm

He swears excessively

Kennith is that guy with the magnifying glass and burns ants to death

He's the type to draw dicks on the school white boards/chalk boards

Kennith would like throwing knives

Kennith likes to mess with people for fun (in a silly way)

He also likes joking around with and pranking his friends

Kennith would have loved being a model

Kennith is around 100lbs

His voice claim is YoppyVU, any statement about it not, is a lie. Ghost does that a lot, did you know that?

He doesn't spend a lot of time at home, his parents piss him off. He usually hangs around the gas station Greg works at, Stephanie's house, or the park or something

He'd be the type to die his hair with kool-aid, it would look like shit

Kennith attempted before

Kennith forgets to eat alot. He starves himself but not to a life threatening point, he doesn't focus on it at all. He literally just forgets and doesn't feel like eating

He would have been a theater kid if he didn't think the world hated him

He'd be a bad singer

He's broadcast was in the garage he worked in

Ghost said if you looked up "curly pixie cut" you'd be able to find references for his hair

And also he is cold and reserved to people he is not friends with. He takes a bit to warm up to people

That's not all I know, but I don't wanna write anymore. It's 4 am. I can cite my sources for all of these, btw. And also ignore but don't that jab about Ghost lying a lot

[transingthoseformers]

Okay, cause see, now I have QUESTIONS.

Does Cybertron have schools, or high schools? Do they have societal norms? Do they have popular kids, bigoted people? Does homophobia even exist there? Do they think there's Cybertron versions of traditional people that would probably call Mirage or Bumblebee their own version of slurs for having human partners??

And while we're on this topic, does anyone ever question if Cybertron has their own versions of mental health disorders we have on Earth? How do they treat them?? Do they even treat them????? Or is it just non-existent because they're robots? But they have the compacity to feel love and shit like that, but there's no such thing as Depression, Anxiety or BPD over there?

Like what are the societal norms over there? What are the class types over there? Because we all know Mirage was definitely some rich kid but what about Bumblebee?? And Optimus? And my girl Arcee?? Like what were their lives before all of this??

LIKE THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS THAT NEED TO BE ANSWERED.

You also have to account for the war and how badly that's fucked everything up

Because

From everything I've seen in various continuities:

There are academies and stuff

Bigoted people do seem to exist on Cybertron, though often in unfamiliar ways

Homophobia does not seem to exist in say IDW, (iicr), can't say much for other continuities but I personally like to think homophobia would be rare to nonexistent on Cybertron

(though, in IDW it seems to be rare to marry and considering idw Sentinel there might be a Thing against other bots having life partners in general. Or sentinel might just be the dick in the room and it's rare rare to hate on others having romantic relationships on Cybertron)

I don't think they'd have existing slurs for organic x mech relationships as it's just That Plain Old Unfamiliar, but I can see mecha getting nasty about it. Especially given how common anti organic sentiments are in various continuities

Cybertronians 200% have mental health conditions, we see it in a decent amount of continuities (whether it's meant to be a ✨character quirk✨ or they actually want to talk about mental health or if it's The Latest Haha Joke; Please Laugh™️ /s)

How they treat them seems to vary across continuity because I think they just... Don't in some continuities, and that never goes down well. At least in IDW we can tell there's a focus in psychology and these guys have at least one competent therapist. But in IDW there are Many Horrors and it's very willing to show us them.

We know in Aligned there was a caste system before the war, which went not well. We see in IDW there's Functionism which dictates social class by altmode. In tfa there's Whatever The Fuck Is Going On with civilian frames v Warframes. The role of Prime is usually a big deal (though it's superseded by Magnus in tfa) (the matrix of leadership is often involved, but not always). Though everything usually goes to shit once the war starts

We don't know enough about Knightverse to fully place Optimus's origins (iicr), but he just seems a lot younger and less big of a deal than some other iterations of him so I have a few ideas what he Wasn't

I can definitely consult tfwiki for more specifics on Knightverse lore

[zebulontheplanet]

I woke up with a lot of hate from anons so let’s clear some things up.

All that I talk about is professionally diagnosed except one diagnosis I have (which is POTs) is unofficially officially diagnosed. Which means the doctor hasn’t written it in the chart but is treating me for POTs.

I can talk about my PROFESSIONALLY DIAGNOSED BPD if I want too. Before I said it was probably a misdiagnosis. Now I’m saying that I might be wrong and I think I should hear people out about it.

Another thing. Having the amount of diagnoses that I have IS. NOT. NORMAL. it is not normal to have 10+ conditions. However, it’s possible. It’s REALLY POSSIBLE. Because I am here, and I do have 10+ diagnoses and I am professionally diagnosed, and I know people who have about the same as me or even more! Because being disabled has this wonderful thing called comorbidities. Which I have a lot of.

Another thing, me being able to type well doesn’t mean I don’t have an intellectual disability. There are many people who have intellectual disability who go on to do amazing things! Who have families, who have kids, who are married, who have successful businesses, who have done all these things! And there’s people with ID who have not. That’s ok. We need to stop lumping people with ID in one single category and instead realize it’s a very large spectrum of capabilities and strengths.

Another thing, i have a lot better things to do then come on here and fake having disorders. I have a life. I have family. I have 5 siblings living at home and I’m the second oldest so you can imagine how busy I am. I DO NOT need to come on here and fake having conditions and disabilities. I come on here and talk about disabilities I DO HAVE because I want to share about them in my free time and I enjoy it. I don’t have to, I don’t care what other people think. I’m just here to have fun.

One last thing. I’m laughing at all you anons that sent me hate because I could really not give a fuck. I’m gonna go on with my day and talk with my boyfriend and hang out with my aunt today. So…fuck off.

Also, being autistic does not excuse you from ableism. Have a nice day!

[filthygob]

I'm like if bill cipher was a teenage girl

[undeaddollz]

patrick hockstetter analysis hi, i realize there was spelling mistakes on my henry bowers one but i'm really too lazy to go over it all and fix em so if theres some on here too then ignore it! don't come at me for the hypothetical disorders i'm saying patrick may have, i do believe he probably is on the spectrum somehow and i will not listen to anyone who says otherwise.

patrick is SO INTERESTING, the disorders that i suspect he has is possibly CIPA as he doesnt show much reaction to pain and possibly some sort of BPD or autism but im more sure of CIPA. but it's confirmed for him to have solipsism he doesnt think other people or things are real, the reason he killed his little brother avery is because he felt avery was real and his parents were taking attention away from him. he doesnt like deviating from his schedule, he expects dinner to be at the same time, parents to be in bed at a certain time every day but the baby took away from that and so he suffocated avery to death. i believe he also has a sort of god complex as he thinks he decides what happens in the world. he doesnt think him harming people and animals matters because they aren't real anyways and meerly toys for him so he doesnt get bored. we don't get a lot of background on patrick let alone his parents but the movie gives us jack-shit about him. he's obviously a pyromaniac and doesnt seem to have any reaction to pain, laughing when henry hurts him after patrick sexually assaults him. he has a sort of psychosis, he doesn't love anyone besides himself but its not in a narcissistic way. he doesnt really have attachments to anyone, his family could die and he'd just be worried about whats for dinner. he'd only be upset cause it ruins his schedule. He would be upset if bowers gang died but simply because they bring him entertainment and its someone to bully kids with. I feel he probably was subjected to some sort of trauma when he was younger, possibly sexual or some form of neglect. people arent usually born acting how patrick does and all the adults shown in derry seem to be abusive or neglectful. his favorite past time is to torture kids and animals, he enjoys taking their lives, he has a fridge full of tortured animal corpses, mainly cats. since the fridge is his favorite thing it gets used as a factor of his demise, after sexually assaulting henry he goes to his fridge and is killed by pennywise. he loves to spend time at the barrens/junkyard since thats where a lot of the violence happens, those places being frequent bowers gang hang out spots. Bowers gang is scared of him, most adults are too. theres rumors floating around of patricks hobbies so people often let him do whatever he wants as to not agitate him. I dont know if victor and belch exactly know about the fridge as its a little hidden away in the junkyard but henry knows, when patrick teases henry for "letting him" sexually assault him henry shouts "if you fucking tell anyone about this im telling everyone about your fridge and you'll be taken away" or something similar. Henry keeps him around since 1, hes deeply scared of patrick and doesnt want to anger him 2, he also finds ways to entertain henry, helping him blow off steam from the abuse at home on other kids and sometimes animals. henry seems to be a big fan of animals but when he starts to go crazy after patrick dies he shows similarities to patricks behavior, growing violent with dogs and cats and being more murder-driven with his bullying. patrick seems kind of obsessed with henry but it could just be finding henry useful or a good source of entertainment and he can torture henry to end up getting what he wants. patrick is only fueled by his own selfish desires, he has no exact motivation for doing anything, other than him deciding he wants to. psychosis can be drawn out by not sleeping sometimes and maybe patrick could suffer from hallucinations, in the movie it seems he's scared of what he's killed coming back to life but honestly i dont think thats really accurate as i dont think that is something he would think about and he already feels no guilt about it so i think it was just the movie being stupid again. so if he does have hallucinations i think he would be indifferent to them, maybe only being annoyed they arent always at the same time every day.

[badaswrld]

should’ve been me

✩ insecure y/n, bpd y/n, hurt/comfort, argument, angst, words of affirmation

🫧

“i want to watch it!!!” you exclaimed while trying to rip bada’s phone out of her hands. you were laying on the couch with your head in her lap, arms swinging wildly. you sat up to reach the phone, which bada was holding high in the air with one hand, using the other hand to shield you away.

“no it’s embarassinggggg” bada whined. she stood up off the couch, still holding her phone above her head. you followed her in suit, on your tippy toes and jumping to try to reach.

you were thinking in the back of your mind how attractive the height difference was, but you quickly shoved that thought to the side and focused on the task at hand.

you tackled her to the ground and successfully grabbed the phone bringing it to your chest and guarding it with both hands.

you laughed and fell backward, catching your breath.

“y/n…” bada sighed as she laid down next to you on the floor, defeated.

you didn’t notice her nervous expression as you pressed play.

“wow you’re so hot im kicking my feet.” you say as you watch bada dance with tatter.

you smiled as you watched, until they got a bit too close to each other. your smile fell slightly.

you felt yourself becoming more upset the longer you watched, but you didn’t say anything.

bada held her breath next to you, dreading your reaction to the ending of the choreography.

you watched as bada brought her hand to tatter’s neck, pushing her head up to make eye contact with her. this was too much.

you dropped the phone to the floor with a flat expression. you felt angry, your chest heating up, but you couldn’t ignore the pain and sadness rising as you laid there.

you hated how bada looked at her with that sensual look on her face. you hated how close they were. you hated that it wasn’t you.

“what the fuck bada.”

“y/n-”

“i didn’t like that.” you said as you sat up, distancing yourself from her.

“don’t be that way, y/n. it doesn’t mean anything.” she groaned, sounding angry herself.

her tone only escalated your anger, as you looked at her in bewilderment. you realized the real reason she didn’t want you to watch it. she never would have shown you by choice, she meant to hide this from you.

you stood up from the ground, followed by bada. you tried to walk away, but she grabbed your shoulder and spun you around to face her again.

“seriously?” bada exclaimed.

“i don’t want to talk to you.” you said, shaking yourself away from her touch.

she let you go, watching you walk to your bedroom.

she didn’t know if she should leave you be and go home, or try to plead her case.

—

you didn’t talk to bada for the rest of the night. she decided to stay over, but thankfully she didn’t try to talk to you either.

you were still mad, but as you lay on your bed alone now, the sadness and insecurity started to overwhelm you.

it was 2 am, and you were still awake, thinking, ruminating.

you found yourself wondering if bada was still awake. even though you were angry with her, you still had the instinct to run to her for comfort.

your emotions flooded your mind, and you couldn’t hold it together anymore. tears flowed out as you tried to remain quiet.

you hated yourself in this moment. you felt insufficient, and as if bada deserved better than you.

the problem was you. bada was only with you because she pitied you. she didn’t care for you one bit, let alone did she love you the way you loved her.

you were sitting on the floor now, holding your head and rocking back and forth. you stopped trying to conceal the noise of you gasping for air.

your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps from the living room, headed towards your bedroom door.

you immediately tiptoed to the bed and dove under the covers, attempting to pretend to be asleep.

you laid there still as you heard your bedroom door opening and closing, followed by footsteps moving towards you.

you tried to slow your breathing, praying to god that bada hadn’t heard you.

you felt her sit down on the bed next to you, your heart racing.

“y/n, i know you’re awake.”

fuck.

you uncovered your face but didn’t turn to face her. you felt embarrassed that she heard you. she probably thought you were crazy. it was all over.

all the love you felt for her was about to be crushed.

“i love you so much.” bada said as she wrapped her arms around you, cradling your head and slowly rocking you.

you felt her kiss your temple and you immediately softened and fell victim to her soothing touch.

“you’re my beautiful girl.” she said, running her hand up and down your waist.

“it doesn’t feel like it.” you said, tears welling up in your eyes once again.

“i just don’t understand why you felt the need to do that. i understand it’s just choreography but i feel disrespected.” you said.

bada rested her chin on your shoulder.

“i’m so sorry i made you upset. truthfully, the ending part was tatter’s idea. i was scared to tell her that i felt it was kind of inappropriate.” she said.

you sighed.

“but i shouldn’t have agreed to it.” you turned and looked at her. she wiped your tears with her thumbs and pushed your hair behind your ears.

“i should have known how you would feel when you saw that, i put my own feelings before yours.”

“bada-”, you started but she continued.

“i already know what you’re going to say. and no, you are not controlling. you have a right to say something when i hurt you. we’re in a relationship.” she said sternly.

you looked at her with slight astonishment at her ability to read your mind. you had started to feel guilt washing over you, convincing yourself that you were manipulative and that you were too hard on bada.

she laughed ever so slightly at your expression, more of a puff of air through her nose and a small smile. she was looking down at you in adoration, hovering over your body.

“i know you.” she said, cupping your face, running her thumb across your cheek.

“and i know you’ve been in here all alone, feeling like you aren’t good enough or pretty enough, which is all bullshit.”

another tear slid down your face, which bada quickly wiped away.

“you know i would never lie to you. you are the most beautiful girl in this world. you look like a princess.” she said, smiling down at you.

you cried more, trying to cover your face with your hands, but bada grabbed you. “my princess.” she finished with a kiss to your forehead.

she laid her head down on your chest, raising her head up to kiss your neck. you wrapped an arm around her and rubbed her hair with your other hand.

“i’m very sorry for acting immature.” you finally said.

“it’s okay. i know you were just hurt.” she replied.

“do you promise you still love me?” you asked sincerely.

she looked up at you with a slight smile, grabbing your jaw softly with her hand.

“of course i do. i will always love you sweet girl.” she said, gently pressing her lips to yours.

“so much.” she kissed you again and again until she felt you smile against her lips. when she pulled away you were still smiling down at her.

she laid her head down on your chest again, rubbing your stomach gently under your shirt. you leaned down and kissed her head.

“i love you too.” you said.

the comfort you felt in this moment made up for all the negative emotions you had felt that night.

all you felt was safety, and nothing was wrong in the world.

“please talk to me next time. i want to help you when you’re feeling like this.” bada said.

“okay, i promise i’ll be honest with you from now on.” you nodded.

she kissed your waist before sitting up and pulling you into a hug. you felt butterflies as she moved you onto her lap effortlessly, looking you straight in the eyes.

she didn’t say anything, but she pulled you closer into her, rubbing your back while supporting your weight with her body.

you both sat like that for a while, feeling the comfort of each other’s presence. eventually, bada laid you down on the bed and covered you up.

she laid down next to you, pulling you into her chest and holding you. “goodnight,” she spoke with one last kiss to your head.

“i love you,” you said, slightly dozing off from the warmth of her body.

“i love you too.”

🫧

a/n: AHHHHH my first work 🤧🤧 there will be a lot more i rly hope this wasn’t dog shit i kind of got carried away with the comfort at the end lol hope you liked it 🪷

[idcpxseur]

MORE random hcs that will potentially appear in my rewrite

not all of them are headcanons, some of them are lore drops that i decided to throw in for funsies

ive had this sitting in my drafts for so long

[ link to my last hcs post in case ya missed it ]

aphmau is obsessed with dating sims (this was inspired by me discovering blooming panic)

aphmau is a compulsive doodler. to the point where she keeps a little notepad in her bag so she doesnt draw on her hands

laurence is visually impaired/going blind

travis, garroth, and katelyn have all gotten their tongues stuck to frozen lightpoles in their lifetime

dante & travis are childhood friends and travis had a crush on dante in highschool

katelyn and lucinda met in middle school and have had a weird love/hate relationship since

cadenza, kiki, and zoey live in a neighborhood close to the main cast

nana goes by [kandi/honey/sugar] not kawaii chan (there was no way i was keeping that stupid nickname. havent picked which nickname shed go by)

aphmau loves dating sims and got katelyn and nana hooked on them too

nana is actually a magicks user just like in mcd

she uses her little maids to do her chores around the house (katelyn and aphmau hate her for it)

aphmau had a fnaf hyperfixation and infected the entire group with it

aside from nana, who hates anything even remotely spooky

during halloween on mystreet, aaron has dressed up as ghostface

everyone lost their minds

aside from aphmau and katelyn, who laughed at everyone losing their minds

nana actually has an intense fear of relationships which is why she obsesses over other people's relationships because she romanticizes them in her head

garroth, despite also being of the fruity variety, is the friend who buys anything rainbow and gives it to his gay friends

laurence has been and will continuously be the main victim of this

garroth also has no idea what a lot of the flags mean despite everyone reminding him

katelyn has bpd

and he frequently wears crop tops to show it off too

travis is a lil sleepy guy. if hes not doing something important, you can and often will find him curled up snzzing

and we love him for it

aaron is the friend that carries around shit for his friends

specific stim toys for specific people (chewables and clicky keyboards for aphmau, a puzzle ball for zane, soft weighted plushies for nana)

hes got a man purse /hj

aphmau has two long, jagged, faded lines on her back that she was born with. they look like were once deep scars

but theyve never went away and only seemed to have gotten bigger??

while not a big practicer of the craft, travis seems to be really good with witchcraft and magicks

no one knows what his magicks is though because both lucinda and nana have said it feels off

aphmau used to scare zane in a weird way. which is why (aside from just hating everyone and everything) he avoided her for so long before they got close

that fear is gone though

...mostly

travis has dressed up as spiderman for several halloweens in a row

aphmau and zane have gotten hyperfixated on beetlejuice together and dressed up as bj and lydia for halloween and cons

not at all inspired by myself and my best friend wdym

okay this hc list is even longer. i was supposed to be writing but i ended up... not doing that.

anyway thats enough for today!! sorry for my absence im focused on actually pushing out the fucking rewrite instead of just yapping about it

[kerubimcrepin]

Live-read: The Wheel of Destiny #1, Atcham.

You can find this article on the Dofus MMO’s site, by simply googling it.

Before I begin this post I want to acknowledge multiple things:

On the hierarchy of canonical media, web articles are like... the bottom of the barrel. I already suspected this, but season 4 fully retconning Eva's parents from the lore articles sealed the deal. For this reason, take these as nothing but the sort of canon that will get retconned at the first available opportunity.

I recently found out that the Wheel of Destiny 8, the one about Kerubim, seems to use stolen fanart by Flowerimh, which is sad. I don't know where else to put this, because I don't want to make a separate post about this. Flowerimh isn't even active anymore...

Despite these two things, let us proceed to read this article together:

So, this article happens anywhere from one year to a decade before Joris was born, and at this time, Atcham and Julith were already acquainted and spending free time together.

Spoiler alert: They are searching for Kerubim.

Keke getting called a "precious runt" is on par with the shit Joris gets called. Wonderful. I do wonder why they would search for him in Brakmar. Someone confused him for Atcham? Maybe they asked Kerubim himself, and he didn't want to deal with them, and so, sent them to Brakmar on a wild goose chase?

I will not be asking "what did he do" because, like, Fifi Pretty Calves exists. He has enough enemies to have a price on his head.

I am literally in love with him, and every single way he is described in this part of the text.

"He had a preference for sibilant sounds", "Aw, poor little puppy", "the only reason he hadn't robbed them blind is because he wanted to know more".

He was so excited.... he thought they wanted him (not carnally).... 😢

He takes a lot of pride in his work and insane behaviours.

Atcham considers himself an extraordinary adventurer and a valiant fighter. AND HE ISSSSSS. But it is interesting that besides being a killer for hire, he probably also adventures.

[Taps this meme I made about Kerubim and Atcham once again]

He was so ready to be the one people wanted to kill just once, and they ruined his whole fucking evening.

Imagine this being your day-to-day life, for decades. Just people laughing at you, laughing because you still hadn't caught on that you're the joke, and laughing when you finally understand that, and get upset.

Laughing about you behind your back, to some random stranger, too. Because they still hadn't realized they're literally talking about him.

I think this is a good time to say that I headcanon Atcham as autistic. It is simply a headcanon, but one rooted in the themes of his character. I think it is a fitting conclusion, (albeit, just like my hcs of Joris having ADHD and OCD and Kerubim having comorbid BPD and HPD, very accidental one, on part of the writers).

I could talk for hours on the way neurodivergence, disability, body issues, and violence-as-response-to-abuse intersect in Atcham's character, — or the way he hates everyone preemptively, because he knows that they will probably hurt him, yet still tries to be at least a bit kind and fair to others (....who aren't Kerubim).

I am probably not autistic, — however, I am neurodivergent, and I love & relate to him, so yeah. Always rotating this bingus in my brain.

Imagine this being your whole life.

I read descriptions of Atcham being cool and fast, and all the analysis leaves my brain as I say "awooga hummina hummina".

The fact that nobody ever wed him is literally so unrealistic, like WHAT DO YOU MEAN you don't want the weird, mentally ill, neurodivergent twink.

We never see Atcham's home in Brakmar, but from the description of "tattered", and the way his bed looks in the comic panel I inserted earlier in the post, it is safe to say his home is the definition of "girlrotting". It probably smells. Bad.

Says the woman whose kindness will also be the death of her, — and her ruthlessness too.

Because of her visiting his home so nonchalantly, and their interactions as a whole, I like to view Atcham and Julith as somewhat close friends, — as close as two very emotionally repressed people, who have a huge age difference, and don't like to admit that they feel anything positive, can be.

He probably didn't mourn her, — not after she was presumed dead for ten years, and not after she died for real.

But he probably still thinks about her, once in a while.