#literally there are so many great ones
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Reader Beware - You’re in for a Scare!
part two of my goosebumps collection 🦇
#nostalgiacore#kidcore#goosebumps#halloween nostalgia#horror#90s#00s#my collection#sadly this is also the last part of my goosebumps collection :(#these are the first 12 chronological books#but theres a few more random ones i want#like my hairiest adventure was always my FAVORITE cause i could relate to the kid due to me being harry as fuck too#so id like that one#also cuckoo clock of doom would be cool to have that one always freaked me out#ooh and shocker on shock street that one made me lose my mind#dont go to sleep too because that one was probably the scariest one to me#also say cheese and die - again because ill always remember that ending#literally there are so many great ones#and im not a huge fan of all the ones i have maybe ill sell the ones i dont love and get the ones i do
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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not enough stonjourner art out there
#stonjourner#carbink#nacli#archen#dwebble#pokemon#i got so many opinions on that guy but it makes me so sad that if the design was left to cook for longer we'd have something really cool#it's such a shame it ended up being mostly forgotten due to its pretty literal design and not being great in PvP matches bc its lore is fun#you mean to tell me the rocks just walked there ? and also that they can punt you across the field if you mess with them ?#the power spot gimmick could be so cool if it was explained in spinoffs or the anime#like imagine someone that feels pretty weak pairing up with one to get that oomph to push a little further than their limits#or i'd see it being used in pmd by sandwiching stonjourner between strong allies so they benefit from power spot#i think a new form with a different typing or different stats could do it justice tbh#especially since the UK is far from the only country to sport pretty megalithic sites that have folklore around them#i don't feel bad about writing novels in the tags
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yk when i think about it, especially when im watching the anime with people who havent read the manga, the reason a lot of people who only watch the anime and didnt read the manga misinterpreted saikis character so badly is definitely in part because of how damn fast paced the anime is 😭
like that little smile and eye shine frame is there for not even half a second in the anime, so its easier to miss it and assume that he really did only finish those workbooks to get coffee jelly ☠️ its much more clear if you get a good look at how he reacts here that hes just a silly little tsundere and a fucking liar
#this might be really obvious but im silly#LET ME YAP !!#dont read this as me making fun of anime only fans#i was literally one until like a few months ago#i just think its unfortunate how different the vibe is#obviously i love the anime though#there are still some things i straight up don't understand how people miss though#like people who watch the whole anime and still think saiki hates teruhashi or nendo specifically#like ? he has some of his most affectionate scenes with them#but i think maybe its because they missed so many of the more subtle details#that by the time they see saikis offu or him saying he and teruhashi make a great team.. it appears more sudden to them than it really is#so they either completely ignore those scenes or dismiss them as fanservice#ugh#its. literally not fan service at all and makes perfect sense if you pay attention#idk how u can watch the sweetest line ever 'we're invincible together' and deny that saiki cares about teruhashi#in general its actually just impossible to end the show thinking he hates any of his friends unless u just ignored things on purpose#even if u ended at the first season like a lot of people#but im just saying i guess i get why its a little less obvious in the show#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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One of my perhaps unpopular opinions is being a full-time at-home caregiver (to a parent, a child, whomever) should absolutely be considered work and should absolutely be paid like having a conventional job.
Giving caregivers the financial stability and freedom to live as independently as possible is important, especially in terms of being somebody's caregiver. Both the carer and caree deserve to be stable, independent, and have their needs met.
#politics#us politics#i think it's very precarious to rely on one income in the sense of financial abuse#i for sure don't think this is a universal solution but i also don't think someone should be fucked over because...#...being a carer isn't a 'real job'. what the fuck is that line of thinking#caring is *the* full-time job. it's incredibly demanding work and so many places are... expecting that you can do it for free like#that's fucked up to me#it's great that *some* states have compensation for caregivers. it's not enough. yet.#i don't know why but this has been bothering me for literal weeks now
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I think the world is so wonderful... (Patreon)
#My art#Handplates#UT#Papyrus#I have not been able to get this idea out of my head for like - days now lol#It's only solidified the more I read! Heck!!#I dunno if I was necessarily hoping that reading further would point me in another direction but no now this is one of his songs lol#I really like Rugrats Theory actually :) The song of course it's lovely but I even have some nostalgia for the creepypasta haha#Been a while since I read it tho so that's probably just the soft haze of memory talking lol#But the song is still great! I'm partial to the English cover but I like the original as well :)#There are just so many fun lyrics! Especially for Papyrus specifically#''Everything I've been told I believe and yet people that I love just leave'' Gasterrr#''I think I'm old enough to understand so there's no reason to hide from me'' Sanssssssss#Once I returned to the scene of Sans trying to lie to him I just fjdslahfd these lyrics would Not leave me alone lol#I'm also Extremely partial to the second verse surrounding blindness and willful ignorance - his vision problems literal and metaphorical!#I wasn't planning to start a Handplates playlist but I guess by this point it's kinda too late haha#I also tried a different style of shading for this one ♪ Trying to style match a bit hehe#It's fun! Scratchy - tho some of that is from still using my usual brushes lol#I was Very inspired by watching the comic creation playlist - so cool! Very fun to watch and pick up ideas hehe#I knew I forgot something lol dang it - forgot the dash between WDG-2#S'what I get for using pre-plates references :P#For just a quick little thing I'm fairly pleased overall tho :)
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the juicebox bandits
#mine#persona 5#P5 ART IN 2024?!?! WE'RE SO FUCKING BACK#playing through strikers made me realize how much i missed the whole crew. they are so funny. great spinoff#i took any chance i got to flirt/mess with ryuji#there were so many good moments omfg. literally said i love you out loud when ryuji gave away a featherman mask. no one talk to me#i didnt expect the spinoff to be so good ill be fr. the character writing is top notch and similar themes reflected in royal. cool stuff#i hope i make teen me proud like yay i can finally draw well enough ^_^#banger ost too wtf
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bill x ford x stan love triangle real....
#ptsd barnum is nasty work#seriously though I've been thinking about the character implications of this trifecya for years (in both a shipping & non-shipping sense)#like. for ford to effectively plug the gaping whole that stan left behind with bill#who is so very much like stan in so many ways#and then for stan to be the one who takes out bill in the end....it's so perfect#bill hardly ever acknowledges stan's existence in the show. & when he does it's never in a terribly personal way.#so to see (read) him malding over stan like this is SO great. literally making all of my headcanons real for me#gravity falls#tbob#the book of bill#stancest#billford#dumb#these aren't my pictures of the book btw. I got them from twitter
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I wonder when the Noldor looked around at their dwindling numbers and realized that they were dying faster than they could ever keep up with.
#tolkien#silmarillion#I actually have a lot of feelings about this#because the noldor that come over from Valinor are pretty much all you get for the first age’s long war#birth rates are also in the basement if they exist at all#elves don’t have children during war#even if the siege of Angband is peaceful enough to relax that custom#I still don’t think you would have many children#elves have known war before - we know they did before the great journey#but it’s also got to be sobering to realize that your casualty rates are literally unsustainable#(like so#the house of finwë probably isn’t a representative sample of casualty rates#but damn the big picture still can’t be good#we have one grandchild of finwë who survives to the second age out of fifteen and that’s a very very bad rate)#what does that DO to a people group#to go from immortal and undying#to accepting that your whole clan is getting whittled down chunk by chunk#when did they start realizing that even if they beat Morgoth#they wouldn’t recognize the survivors
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You don't have to do this but I NEED me some Lighter as an adopted older brother or has a baby with the reader. I'm a sucker for big brother or fatherly things!!
‘it’s a rough life out here in the outer ring.’ those words echoed through his head as he scooped up the little baby wrapped up in a blanket. it’s face was all red, seemed to be a few weeks old at most, but he didn’t recall seeing this small package here before. its cries were quiet, due to it being muffled by its own blanket.
the hatred he had in his heart could not overtake how much it throbbed at the sight of such a small bundle of joy, pressed up into his chest as he cradled it to sleep. how was he going to explain this to the rest of the girls? how was he going to explain this to you? but more importantly, how was he going to bring it back without waking it from the loud roar of his bike? piper’s driving was out of the question and calling all of the girls over would just scare it even more.
as he made his way back to his bike, the baby’s little fingers had found its way to his scarf, tugging at it gently. once he had sat down on his bike, he carefully removed his scarf and used it to cover up the precious baby. it was preoccupied enough to not notice him turn on the engine but now was the difficult part; driving back one handed while ensuring it doesn’t wake up.
slowly, he was able to arrive back, a lot later than usual however. he was carefully shushing the baby, stroking its cheek so gently as he made his way to the fire pit. he paid no mind to lucy questioning his absence, nor did he try to entertain caesar’s invitation for a spar. he flopped down on the couch, the warm fire reflecting off of his shades. he looked around for you, desperately wanting some sort of reassurance in this situation.
of course the girls had immediately swarmed him but the moment their eyes landed on the little bundle of joy in his arms, they immediately softened up. awww’s and ooh’s could be heard, like a weirdly harmonized symphony. not before long, your head popped through the crowd and it felt like he had let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.
the baby was so good, barely making a noise as he carefully handed it to you, albeit a little clumsily. however, it’s little hand was wrapped around lighter’s finger, gripping it like it’s life depend on it. “this little one really likes you, huh?” you’d try teasing him but he was using all of his power to not just melt at the sight.
he didn’t know he was such a softie. yeah, the Sons of Calydon have made fun of him for being soft once in a while, especially when it came to you, and he knew it but constantly denied it. now seeing you cradling this baby, cooing at it, something in his chest felt warm and it was definitely not from the fire.
after a few minutes, the baby started crying and of course everyone went into a panic. they scrambled around, trying to figure out what had occurred and it turned out that the baby just needed a change of diapers. a kind mother nearby living nearby was more than happy to assist, teaching how to clean and feed. no one ever told you about how stressful it is to handle a crying, squirming baby but after changing it’s diapers and giving it some milk, this was when you realized that the little baby was a girl.
everyone was exhausted and the girls had gone to rest in their rooms. it was fun nonetheless but taking care of a baby is a lot more work than you thought. you flopped back on to the couch, baby still in hand, slowly patting her to sleep. lighter followed you around, wanting to keep the baby close in his sight.
“what should we do with her?” you quietly asked, eyes slowly closing as the baby’s beathing could be felt on your chest.
‘it’s a rough life out here in the outer ring’ there it was again. that same voice in his head. was it telling him to keep the baby? or was it telling him that staying here isn’t the best option? the proxies down in sixth street might know an adoption pla-
he felt your head resting on his shoulder, the slow rise and fall of your chest. a bundle of joy, all wrapped up in his scarf, gripping it tightly like how she did with his finger. as long as he had you, he was sure she would be brought up well. the other members of the Sons of Calydon would also not reject because that’s another girl for them to adore.
he removed his sunglasses, taking one last look at her small face before resting himself. then he looked at you, clearly exhausted yet keeping still for the baby. they say it takes a village to raise a child, he’ll come to understand if it’s true. the start of a new life, for not just this abandoned baby, but for him too.
#lumiresponds ˚✧₊⁎☆#lighter zzz#zzz lighter#lighter lorenz#lighter x gn reader#lighter x reader#lighter x you#if there are any mistakes/errors pretend you do not see them#THIS WAS SO GOOD LIKE AUGHSGSKSJW#i love found family so bad yall#I LOVE ANYTHING FAMILY RELATEDDDD#and lighter would be the best older brother/dad figure#HE LITERALLY HAS SHOWN SO MANY TIMES IN THE STORY AKSBSKSB#the way he gently touched lucy when she was crying#him making sure lucy didn’t fall#HIM AND BILLY ??? YALL HES A GREAT BROTHER#n e ways im gonna go sleep LMAO BYE I HAVENT SLEPT YET#i fear i got eaten up by my own stuff and lighter thoughts…��..#ooh this one was actually so yummy though THANK YOU ANONNN
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Names, Marbles, and Fae-vors - More Lore on my Changeling Danny Au
In my last post I talked about the Infinite Realms and the three different planes existing inside it - the Long Far, Home to the Ancients and Celestial Beings. The Fey Wilds, Home of the Fey and other such Mythological Constructs. And the Ghost Zone, Home to the Mortal Spirits. - as well as three of the different ways beings inside the Infinite Realms can travel between planes; the Lake Portals, the Cave Tunnels, and the Starflare Currents. The Lake Portals and the Cave Tunnels don't have an official term for them yet, but I'll come up with something :).
In this post we'll be talking about some of the abilities of the fey! Specifically the things they're most popularly known for: their name stealing and etiquette thing.
For those who are not as well-versed in Fey Lore, or need a refresher, (and because I just want to yap infodump), one of the first rules you learn when interacting with the Fey is that you never, ever, say "thank you" or "I'm sorry" to them! Which is crazy, because they're really big on etiquette and being polite to each other, which is why one of their epithets is "the Good Neighbor/s". So why should you not say two phrases most commonly used when being polite to someone?
There are two big reasons for this, and the reason I'll be focusing on for this au is because, to the Fey, saying "Thank You" is acknowledgement of a debt that's owed to them. It turns the action or gift into something transactional, and results in a verbal contract that the receiver must then repay later down the line -- and whatever point in time, and with whatever the Fey they are indebted to sees fit. Whether that be food, valuables, or your firstborn child.
The other big reason is because some Fey just think it's rude, and view "thank you" as something that dilutes their act of kindness, and/or implies that they are there to serve you. One of the best summarizations I've seen for fey is that they're bros; they're doing this because they think you're friends -- or something similar to the sort. It's deeply insulting to do all these nice things for a friend, only for that friend to reveal that they don't view you the same way at all.
It's for similar reasons that you also shouldn't say, "I'm sorry" either, except instead of repaying a gift, you are now making reparations for a wrong you have done. A misdeed must be repaid in full, now how are you going to make it up to them? And also because well, I imagine that if saying "thank you" is seen as rude, "I'm sorry" is the exact same way because it dilutes the act.
If you're in a situation where you must say "thank you" or "i'm sorry" there are ways to get around it. "I'm grateful", "you're too kind", "I apologize", or "I feel regret" are just some examples I saw used.
NOW! How is this used in my Changeling AU? The Fey work by these same rules, the only difference is that I've added a physical aspect to it! If Fey are capable of stealing the abstract and turning the incorporeal corporeal, then lets run with it!
"Thank Yous" and "I'm Sorrys" are debts, and Fey can magically bound you into a verbal contract with that alone. However, it's not uncommon -- and actually pretty standard -- for Fey to weave the excess magic of that debt into something physical. They create these delicate-looking, iridescent threads that they then weave into their hair for decoration. And in some areas of the Fey Wilds, use it as a way to show off wealth and/or their own wit.
Ever heard of Fairy Hair? Yeah, same concept.
Debt Threads, as I am temporarily calling them, are thin and airy, and not that much thicker than gossamer. Since it's a debt that is intended to eventually be paid back, it's not practical -- nor is it seen as such -- to use the threads for anything more than temporary cosmetics. As a result, they're usually used for decorating the hair, but some crafty fey use their threads to decorate other appendages, or as form of makeup. Despite their dainty appearance, the threads are actually very sturdy and can only be unweaved by the Fey that created it.
You can, technically, take back your debt thread. However, the threads are made using excess magic of the debt, and not made of the magic of the debt itself, which is why it's so thin and airy. So if you do manage to get it, congrats! All you've got is some pretty string and a pissed off feyrie whose hair you probably just yanked out.
Danny's managed to accrue a few "debts" before he realizes he's a fey, mostly from his friends and sister -- although there are a few from his parents, and some from the other student body from when he was unknowingly and instinctually doing Fey Bullshit. As a result, he starts forcing Sam and Tucker and Jazz to stop thanking him for things, and typically makes them repay him through petty, menial stuff. Like getting him food, or buying him a small but relatively inexpensive trinket he's been eyeing for a while. Never usually anything super important - it's his own way of apologizing for indebting them to him in the first place.
As for his parents... well, he'll hold onto those debts for now. Having a way to magically get them off his back with no questions asked is a boon he's pretty willing to keep close to his chest, and no amount of persuasion will convince him otherwise. Sorry Jazz, Fey side wins out on this one. As for some of the students he's got, Danny manages to psych himself up and release some of them from their contracts without repayment -- even if it makes his bones itch.
AND NOW THE NAMES! You never give a Fey your name because they say everything literally. "Can I have your name?" is a literal question -- they are asking for your name, and thus ownership over you. The other thing is that Names have power, if a fey knows your Full Name they can make you do things for them -- however it goes both ways so you could do the same thing if you learn a Fey's name.
Knowing a Name and owning a Name are two different things, with owning a Name being, naturally, more dangerous as you are basically submitting yourself to permanent indentured servitude, among other things. Knowing a Name can be risky because it results in being more susceptible to fey charms, enchantments, and requests.
But! I digress! Just like how Thank Yous and I'm Sorrys can be turned into a physical object, so can Names! This is not obligatory, nor is it recommended to do often because unlike debt threads, these can be taken back, but it happens!
Names can be trapped in these little, colorful glass-like orbs -- marbles, they're marbles/pearls. They can be trapped in what are basically magic marbles, and just like debt threads, be used for decoration. They're more versatile though, and are used for different things since unlike debt threads, the pearls are meant to be permanent! They make beautiful jewelry, since the pearls come in various different colors depending on the person it once belonged to, and the intent behind its creation.
The marbles have a hard outer shell, with the cores having a fluid, shimmery appearance. Look up liquid core dice, and Name Marbles have a similar appearance, just more... ethereal, with different shades of the same color swirling inside. Not two pearls look the same, and even ones that have similar colors or appearances have subtle differences in them that are imperceptible to the mortal eye. Some pearls look like the deepest trenches of the ocean, blacks and dark blues swirling around each other as flecks of bioluminescence float inside. While others look like a lilac winter sunset, with hand-held purples bleeding into pink and gold.
Convincing Danny to return the Names he's gotten is harder than convincing him to absolve the debts. It takes a lot more psyching up on his part to actually do it, and more verbal coaxing and negotiating on his friends' part. Because on an instinctual fey level, those names are rightfully his. For all intents and purposes, he was given those names freely and without reservation, and so to be told that he has to return what were essentially gifts to him is... deeply distressing.
Lots of cognitive dissonance there. His human-raised brain and morals know why he needs to give them back, and he feels bad for owning them. But his new changeling-baby fey-brain is deeply upset at the prospect, and is a liittle bit stronger than the once-human part of him. He rapidly becomes overwhelmed when trying to convince himself to return the Names. He does, eventually, end up doing it, but he's unwillingly upset the whole time.
#changeling danny au#danny fenton is not the ghost king#danny phantom au#danny fenton#danny phantom#fey danny fenton#changeling danny#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc#i think dpxdc would have a blast with fey danny so im including them akjldfh#Convincing danny to return the names is like convincing a toddler to give up a toy they really want. which really isn't that far off#considering danny's a baby fey during all this. you are literally taking what is technically a toy from a baby.#and danny's baby fey brain is throwing a tantrum as a result. 'mine mine mine!'. its a complicated situation because on one hand danny#*does* genuinely want to return the names. he feels incredibly gross owning people and guilty that he even has them in the first place#but at the same time he feels incredibly averse to even the idea that he has to give them back. it feels unfair. he was given those#names! those are HIS names! its as if someone just gave him a gift and then went 'oops nevermind give it back'! he's incredibly offended#especially over the fact that they just want him to *give* them back without anything in return? those are valuable! what is he getting#out of this? satisfaction? great cool except he doesn't feel satisfied! he just feels hurt and sad and frustrated and robbed. one of the#cons of being a fey. being a fey is all fun and games until it isn't because he was human for 14 years of his life and now he isnt anymore#and this is just one of the many reminders of his changed physiology.
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do you ever feel uhm left out no matter what
#because i do#a lot#like i feel like i have a lot of friends that i all love so much on here#but for them i'm maybe like a great friend?? idk not a favorite person#i'm no ones favorite person#:((#that literally so selfish to think like that uhhh#i just wish i was someone's best friend?#yeah#i consider so many people very very good friends but they. dont feel the same about me and i can see it#and it hurt?#anyway#thoughts
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me with my 18 year old students that i teach at a college
#everyone is just so mean to them because they're adults now but most of them were literally in high school only a few months ago#and so many of them are far from home and on their own for the first time !!!#and the other professors are so mean like they literally ranted to me about how another professor cursed them out#like !!! bruh!!!! also i think it messes with my head that im teaching foundational class and if i fuck this up#that could fuck up their college career because this class is about how to write essays in college#like holy shit responsibility#but fr i love my students they're so fucking funny and they all call out in class and they straight up are the class full of#'problem children' on academic probation who had to check in with a guidance counselor once a week and i have to monitor and write reports#about once a week as well.#and like idk man im feeling very captain o my captain here if you get my meaning#anyways they're all so funny like they do not care and will say fuck to me and i say fuck back#it's great.#anyways. i'm stoned. they know im a stoner too lol.#originally said 17-20 y/o students but tbh they're all 18 except for the one 17 and the one 20
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I've been thinking about the tragedy of Elizabeth Woodville living to see the end of her family name.
I don't mean her family with her husband, which lived on through her daughter and grandson. I mean her own.
Her sisters died, one by one, many of them after 1485. When Elizabeth died, only Katherine was left, and she would die before the turn of the century as well.
All her brothers died, too. Lewis died in childhood. John was executed. Anthony was murdered. Lionel died suddenly in the peak of Richard's reign, unable to see his niece become queen. Edward perished at war. Richard died in grieving peace. For all the violence and judgement the family endured, it was "an accident of biology" that ended their line: none of the brothers left heirs, and the Woodville name was extinguished. We know the family was aware of this. We know they mourned it, too:
“Buy a bell to be a tenor at Grafton to the bells now there, for a remembrance of the last of my blood.”
Elizabeth lived through the deposition and death of her young sons, and lived to see the end of her own family name. It must have been such a haunting loss, on both sides.
#(the quote is by Richard Woodville in his deathbed will; he was the last of the Woodville brothers to die)#elizabeth woodville#woodvilles#my post#to be clear I am not arguing that the death of an English gentry family name is some kind of giant tragedy (it absolutely the fuck is not)#I'm trying to put it into perspective with regards to what Elizabeth may have felt because we know her family DID feel this way#writing this kinda reminded me of how I am just not fond at all about the way Elizabeth's experiences in 1483-85 are written about#and the way lots so many of the unprecedentedly horrifying aspects are overlooked or treated so casually:#the seizure and murder of two MINOR sons and the illegal execution of another;#her sheer vulnerability in every way compared to all her queenly predecessors; how she was harassed by 'dire threats' for months;#how she had 5 very young daughters with her to look after at the time (Bridget and Katherine were literally 3 and 4 years old);#how unprecedented Richard's treatment of her was: EW was the first queen of england to be officially declared an adulteress;#and the first and ONLY queen to be officially accused of witchcraft#(Joan of Navarre was accused of her treason; she was never explicitly accused of witchcraft on an official level like EW was)#the first crowned queen of england to have her marriage annulled; and the first queen to have her children officially bastardized#what former queens endured through rumors* were turned into horrifying realities for her.#(I'm not trying to downplay the nightmare of that but this was fundamentally on a different level altogether)#nor did Elizabeth get a trial or appeal to the church. like I cannot emphasize this enough: this was not normal for queens#and not normal for depositions. ultimately what Richard did *was* unprecedented#and of course let's not forget that Elizabeth had literally just been unexpectedly widowed like 20 days before everything happened#I really don't feel like any of this is emphasized as much as it should be?#apart from the horrifying death of her sons - but most modern books never call it murder they just write that they 'disappeared'#and emphasize that ACTUALLY we don't know what happened to them (this includes Arlene Okerlund)#rather than allowing her to have that grief (at the very least)#more time is spent dealing with accusations that she was a heartless bitch or inconsistent intriguer for making a deal with Richard instead#it also feels like a waste because there's a lot that can be analyzed about queenship and R3's usurpation if this is ever explored properly#anyway - it's kinda sad that even after Henry won and her daughter became queen EW didn't really get a break#her family kept dying one by one and the Woodville name was extinguished. and she lived to see it#it's kinda heartbreaking - it was such a dramatic rise and such a slow haunting fall#makes for a great story tho
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2024 reads / storygraph
Asunder
slow-paced high fantasy
a woman who has a contract with an eldritch entity allowing her to see the dead & survives by taking various jobs
when a job searching for stranded smugglers in a cave goes wrong, she ends up with the soul of a dying stranger bound to her shadow
along with a scholar and her old childhood friend, they travel to his home country to find a way to unbind him and save them both
dark fantasy world with gods, demonic entities, arcane magic, and semi-sentient beasts used as transport
#asunder#kerstin hall#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#okay SUPER fascinating worldbuilding with some very visceral creatures and biological constructs and interesting magic systems.#many things I like. A great cast of characters. Honestly I could read tons more stories set in this world.#it’s very slow building and meandering narratively; focusing on the complex journey of the main character#didn’t love the audio narration tbh - it felt like some lines are read with the wrong emphasis or tone? but I got used to it after a while#So this has one of my absolute favourite tropes (bodysharing.) unfortunately it turns it into a romance which is. well.#it just doesn’t hit the same if you make it romantic!! so that kinda made it change traintracks from being on a direct line to#potentially 5 stars to a whole different station where i do not live. lol.#I SUPPOSE it’s a well developed relationship and I’d prefer romances more like that than instalove I guess.#I did love their dynamic; too; but suddenly realising it was romantic threw me for a loop. I had put him in the annoying dad category.#I do also feel like we didn’t get quite enough of him as an individual person and characterisation - which obviously makes sense to an#extent; but I felt like I only got to see more of him in the brief time around his father.#Also he was surprisingly chill and nice to her immediately considering he was essentially her hostage???#Anyway I did enjoy a lot of it; it just suffers the unfortunate tragedy of#[literally my favourite thing made for me] [turns that thing into literally my least favourite thing i hate]#but also -random dude you’re bound to being overly protective and considerate despite barely knowing you (platonic/familial vibe) - yeah!#random dude you’re bound to being overly protective and considerate despite barely knowing you (romantic) ehhhh…idk.....#(to me personally. i'm sure people enjoy that. whatever)
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looking back at the yjh webtoon screencaps i have saved and giggling... hes so cute... moe... my pookie ^___^ 🥰🥰 poor little meow meow woof woo- *eliminated where i stand*
also these poses are sooooo... 꺄아악🖤🫣🫣🫣🫣
#talk tag#orv liveblog#<--gonna just tag my orv misc posts as this now#i looooove when the webtoon artist draws him like a demonic beast#its genuinely so moe to me smdbsndn like hes supposed to be rly handsome but theyre not afraid to make him look unhinged#i rmbr livetweeting that yjh hibernation pic captioned 'hes so moe'... apparently that was 2022(just dug it up)#more than 1 person has told me that theyre surprised i bias yjh from the webtoon alone#bc apparently they dont do his chara justice(v 😔😔😔 to hear that...thats not good..)#BUT HOW COULD I NOT BIAS HIM!!!! (apparently this is not a universal experience aldjskdj)#this just makes me even more uncontrollably excited to read the novel i cant wait to love him more than i alr do#and i love when he glares and makes a disgusted face at kdj... its so cute 🤭 he's like an angry black dog to me. hes like a wolf puppy#*tries to pat his head and gets cut down in .00001 sec... no he wouldnt waste his sword on me... i would simply perish from being in the#the presence of his aura#literally the tsundere ever#aside from hiei... hiei rly primed me to like male tsunderes guys#like after him i have loved sm tsundere male charas since#yjh is in a league of his own tho. like idc how many similar/near identical charas have come before or since#he OWNS the yjh archetype literally everyone else is just copying him <33#even if it was a choice btwn yjh and cedric id have to go w yjh... he is the original im sorry... i love u cedric#and i love that the whole point is that his design/chara archetype ISNT supposed to be original... thats the Point#he's the typical op dark haired stoic cold brooding (and sexy) protagonist...#his chara concept is supposed to be that trope... but what orv does w him is so subversive#and the fact that he is supplanted from his position as the protag in the narrative... i love it sooo much#like maybe i wouldnt care as much if he actually was the protag? bc again it wouldnt rly be new#but the fact that he isnt the actual protag is sooo good#IM NOT RLY SAYING OR ANALYZING ANYTHING RN BUT I JUST FELT LIKE YJH LOVEPOSTING#o sidenote his webtoon faces make great rxn images slfnsmd I LOVE USING THE FIRST ONE#i love using heartwrenching anime/comic moments out of context as rxn images its so funny to me#me @ the orv live action cast announcement
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