erynalasse

[erynalasse]

If Morgoth is a Thought of Eru Ilúvatar, and Morgoth is the original corruption of Arda, then I don’t think Eru is as omnibenevolent as Tolkien would want us to think.

[erynalasse]

Being in the silm fandom is so fun, because Tolkien basically went-

[grabs 98% of Elven Royalty, Mannish Royalty, and a Maia]

[APPROACH THE BLENDER]

[BZZZZZZZZZZZ]

[Pours Elrond into an elf-shape mold, but Off]

[APPROACH THE OVEN]

[Bakes Elrond with the heat of The Horrors for 6000+ minutes]

[D I N G]

[Puts Elrond on a plate]

And that’s the recipe for one of the most popular blorbos.

[erynalasse]

@lordgrimwing writing fanfiction on the tv for today

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Behond one if the funniest things ive seen on reddit in a hot minute

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Nerdanel and Fëanor over a baby Curufin:

Nerdanel: Absolutely not, Fëanáro, his first word will be ammë!

Fëanor: No, I can feel it, he is a father's boy! You named him yourself! His first word will be atar!

Curufin: -gurgles-

Nerdanel: Say ammë, a-m-m-ë!

Fëanor: Say atar! Or perhaps atya, which is a permutation of the--

Curufin: N, n, n, n....

Nerdanel: Oh! He's trying to say my name! How sweet! And see? An elfling will call for his moth--

Curufin: NELLLYOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

- Camera pans to a frazzled, disheveled, and tired looking Maedhros with Maglor, Celegorm, and Caranthir already hanging off him -

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I made bread for the first time this morning! I was worried that my yeast had died but on my third proofing attempt it finally did something bubbly. I let the stuff rise overnight in the fridge, which gave it this amazing yeasty fermented flavor that I loved. The crust isn’t lovely but the texture makes up for it. Overall solid 7/10 for first attempt!

Credit/blame goes to @chthonion and their fic The Harrowing, whose latest chapter featured fresh bread and finally made me use that yeast in my fridge!

[erynalasse]

Nonsexual intimacy + knife kink + mutually unrequited feelings =

…uh, enemies to queerplatonic worsties?

Spin this wheel of ~300 AO3 tags three times.

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It never ceases to amuse me that Feanor’s narrative arc ends like THAT.

like this guy is built up to be a genius in 2384739847 different ways, charismatic as fuck, insanely spiritually powerful, made the magical artifacts the book is named after, he’s got Sexy Protagonist Energy for days, you’re only like a few chapters into the actual story of the Silmarillion, so you’re like “yeah, alright, this guy’s our guy, i can’t wait to see what crazy shit he gets up to in Middle-earth, what kind of character development he has–”

and then he gets to Beleriand, tries to fight Satan, and IMMEDIATELY dies. like. Battle #1. he beefs it. literally spontaneously combusts.

AND YOU STILL HAVE MOST OF THE REST OF THE BOOK LEFT. absolutely ICONIC of tolkien to kill his main character in the first third of the story, and then despite elves being able to return from the dead, he literally never does, not even post-canon. NO ONE ELSE CAN PULL THAT OFF. this is SUCH a power move.

….on a more serious note, Feanor’s decisions and motivations leave a huge impact on every other character, almost every other plot point in the entire story can be traced back to what he did, and killing him off not only increases his narrative importance to those he left behind but also makes it impossible for any character to actually confront him or reconcile with him. he’s a ghost throughout the whole rest of the story, but he’s haunting everyone in myriad ways, through the Oath, through the Silmarils, through his sons, through the repercussions of the First Kinslaying, through the unrest of the Noldor and the rebellion against the Valar, through everything.

So like. Feanor might die as soon as he sets foot in Beleriand, which is hilarious from a narrative standpoint - but only at first glance. Because he’s still there for the rest of the story. You can’t escape him, no matter how hard you try.

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Cuddles 💞

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This is not true.

This clip is taken from a video by the Cheetah Whisperer channel on YouTube.

The channel is run by a man who volunteers at Running Wild Conservation, a wildlife center in South Africa focused on breeding cheetahs to release back into the wild to boost the species’ numbers.

Cheetahs are not technically “big cats,” for all that they are closer in size to lions than housecats. As such, they have a much less aggressive temperament and are easier to handle and train. The cheetahs in the video are tame—they’ve been around humans and are used to them. All of this is why it’s safe for the man in the video to sleep with them overnight.

Naturally, it’s not a good idea to cuddle with wild cheetahs who don’t know you. They’re more skittish than aggressive, but it wouldn’t end as well as this.

A family of cheetahs sleep with the forest guard every night. When the Forest Dept. heard about it, they decided to check the veracity of the claim by installing a CCTV camera. This is what the camera recorded! Just amazing.

Kitties will be kitties 🐈‍⬛

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I think yes, though there’s a big difference between I regret what happened and I was wrong and never should have asked you to do that. It takes a kind of shitty parent I don’t think Fëanor is to think his sons’ deaths—especially Maedhros’—were acceptable losses. You’re welcome to your own interpretation, but Fëanor inspired unusual devotion and obedience, and you don’t get that from being a 100% horrible father. Not from seven whole sons.

But it takes a lot more work to believe that the Oath and the Kinslayings were wrong. It requires Fëanor to realize that the goal and the means were unacceptable as well as the losses of his sons. And that’s a kind of self-reflection we never see in canon.

So I think the first apologies (Sorry you all died) were very quick, and I think the really important apologies (Sorry I trapped you in an Oath that ruined your lives and everyone else’s) was much slower.

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I’ve never in my life seen or been taught sentence structure like this. It seems incredibly interesting, though. Do any of my followers know anything about this or were taught this?

(Source: satrayreads on threads)

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sir, are you still sad-wet-poetifying Maglor in this era of feral-fierce-warlord Maglor? can I interest you in this top-tier sad wet minstrel archetype with no battles to his name? his name is Daeron and he is ripe for blorbification. yes, he even has an unknown fate! you can also insert him into any and all post-canon events.

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before this post by @eilinelsghost I somehow never realised that I could use MY ACTUAL REAL-LIFE WORK for something more fun??

so I threw the official maps into a geographic information system and aligned them as best I could (grid in km)

And I very roughly vectorised some of the woods and rivers of Beleriand so I could measure them more easily:

Looks like I managed to get the size reasonably accurate. We're told in the Quenta that the length of Sirion from the Pass to the Mouths is 121 leagues (= 584.2 km) and that it's 40 leagues (= 193.1 km) from the confluence of Little & Greater Gelion to the confluence of Ascar and Gelion.

Only Narog should be 80 leagues (= 386.2 km) long but is >50 km longer than that for some reason …

(ignore the ellipsoidal lengths. we cannot use a map projection of course)

SO NOW I can tell you fun things like that the Isle of Balar is almost as large as Mallorca (3109 km²) and the Forest of Region is about the size (and shape) of South East England (19 144 km²)!

if anyone needs measurements or wants the geopackage, feel free to ask!

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merry yule everyone !

Look at this 'morgoth doing a big steppy on fingolfin' cookie

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I have a handful of aus that involve bridge four becoming either briefly or unshakably convinced that kaladin is actually a herald (either one who lost his memory, or secretly, as a test for the lighteyes (they're not doing well)). Actually there's probably at least one guy in canon in WOK who has this as his only half joking pet theory and a couple others who are willing to hear him out for laughs. When the Tower run second ideal happens he's just like I TOLD YOU GUYS I STORMING TOLD YOU.

Anyway Bridge Four Shenanigans such as:

swearing by different heralds names extra loudly to see if kaladin turns around at one

One guy around a corner burning glyph wards dedicated to specific heralds at timed intervals while you watch kaladin carefully to see when he twitches

Saying blatantly wrong things about heraldic legends to see if kaladin will correct you. this one actually works sometimes!!

Eventually teft (assuming its not a time travel scenario where teft is also pretty sure radiants shouldn't just know per-recreance things) or kaladin realizes what's going on and exasperatedly explains his Actual Whole Deal. The guys still keep the bit going, 95% because they've learned it really annoys Kaladin, 5% because he might still be a herald that's testing them only he has a new name (its a very multicultural group of men. What's one more name for Jezrian/Yaezir/Yaysi). And if he is a herald testing them then that's a dick move to pull on your own bridge crew so he deserves to be mocked for it.

Bridge Four being Assholes:

Very satisfying to angrily snap "Kaladin's hands!" to his face when he assigns you night watch for the second week in a row.

Or even just doing a normal herald swear and then immediately following it up with "SORRY CAPTAIN NO OFFENSE." The more panic you fake the better. He sighs so hard, it's great.

a genuinely aggrieved "CAPTAIN'S TITS" got such hard laughs after Lopen stubbed his toe that Moash almost threw up

but unfortunately. as we all know. if you do something ironically enough times. it eventually becomes an actual habit.

And now some of the other bridgecrews have picked up on it and the Captain might actually send the guys who trained them on a one way trip to the tranquiline halls. Skar tripped in front of Prince Adolin and cursed without thinking about it and now the Brightlord is asking. a LOT of questions. Couple of pissed off ardents might get involved. It's messy.