#like. okay. well. now what.

[asterdeer]

the wwdits season finale was like. the opposite of the gomens2 finale lmao. not with a bang but a whimper, womp womp

i'm prepping for whumptober so on the off-chance that this is something people want, i am hypothetically taking requests :>

i cant believe ofmd and loki are coming back just a day apart..........i love the first week of october 2023

i'm about to start revising my paranormal mystery romance novel and i want vico ortiz to play adder SO BAD

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

[naturecalls111]

unorthodox murder mystery

[hinamie]

august

[varpusvaras]

When Dick started to spend more time with his team, and started to talk about Wally just as much as he talked about Starfire, Bruce knew that they needed to have a talk.

"I don't care if you like boys or girls", Bruce had said. "Just promise me that you won't date Oliver Queen's son."

Not that he had anything against Roy, Bruce just really did not want to deal with Oliver any more than he already had to.

"Sure", Dick had said, in a way that very clearly implicated that if Bruce ever annoyed him too much, he would do exactly that simply to spite him.

Jason was a lot easier in regards to relationships. No teams or teammates or relationship problems that roused from having several teenagers spending a lot of time together in close quarters. Compared to Dick, Jason always looked younger and smaller, and Bruce didn't even think about talking to him about it. Not yet. They still had time to do it.

They didn't.

Jason was gone, and then he was back, and Bruce really, really did not have the time or even thought to talk to him about dating girls or boys.

And maybe that wasn't even the part that they should've talked about. No, the part they should've talked about was not dating Oliver Queen's son.

Not that Bruce had anything against Roy. He smart and resourceful and respectful (he always volunteered to help Alfred every time he came to the Manor), and he was a good father. That was especially a quality that Bruce could respect. Roy was good to Jason, in seemingly every way that mattered.

It was just that now Bruce had to deal with Oliver. Well, not in a way that he had to see Oliver more often, but he certainly had to deal with him more. Especially since every single time Bruce and Jason had an argument, Jason would spend more time at Oliver and Dinah's place, and Oliver would every single time without fail rub it in to Bruce's face.

After one of said arguments that hit a bit too close to the Holidays, Bruce knew that he had to do something. He couldn't take Oliver's smug face from having all of his kids and one of Bruce's over at their place. Bruce needed to invite them over first. Jason would understand the invitation as the olive branch that it was.

He had called Jason, but it was Roy who picked up. That was good, actually. Roy was many times easier to talk to than Jason. At least he greeted Bruce normally instead of calling him an asshole right from the get-go.

"We could come visit", Roy said, and Bruce took it was the win it was. "I'm just pretty sure that you have something to say to Jason, first."

Bruce had many things to say to Jason all the time.

"Hn", he said.

"That last argument sounded pretty bad", Roy continued, calmly and sweetly. "I'm sure that both of you said things you didn't mean to, but just because you didn't mean them doesn't mean it's okay. So, is there something you would like to say to Jason?"

"Hn." Was Bruce on speaker? Jason hadn't said anything to indicate that he could hear Bruce.

"What's the word?" For a split second, it was like Alfred was on the other side of the line, and Bruce found himself speaking before he could think about it properly.

"I'm sorry", he said.

"Thank you!" Roy sounded like he was smiling widely. "We'll be there, then!"

Roy hung up. Bruce put his phone down, his head spinning slightly.

"I assume that Master Jason and Master Roy will be over, then?" Alfred asked.

"Yes", Bruce said.

"That is splendid to hear." Alfred patted Bruce on his arm. "Good man, that Master Roy. He has certainly read his books on parenting, it seems."

Bruce leaned on his desk, his mind reeling with the realisation that he had just been out-dadded by his son's boyfriend.

A good man, Alfred had said. Bruce couldn't do anything else but agree.

[gothra]

I’ll never forget when I was arguing with a person in favor of total prison abolition and I asked them “what about violent offenders?” And they said “Well, in a world where prisons have been abolished, we’ll have leveled the playing field and everyone will have their basic needs met, and crime won’t be as much of an issue.” And then I was like “okay. But…no. Because rich people also rape and murder, so it isn’t just a poor person thing. So what will we do about that?” And I don’t think they answered me after that. I’m ashamed to say I continued to think that the problem was that I simply didn’t understand prison abolitionists enough and that their point was right in front of me, and it would click once I finally let myself understand it. It took me a long time to realize that if something is going to make sense, it needs to make sense. If you want to turn theory into Praxis (I’m using that word right don’t correct me I’ll vomit) everyone needs to be on board, which mean it all needs to click and it needs to click fast and fucking clear. You need to turn a complex idea into something both digestible and flexible enough to be expanded upon. Every time I ask a prison abolitionist what they actually intend to do about violent crime, I get directed to a summer reading list and a BreadTuber. It’s like a sleight-of-hand trick. Where’s the answer to my question. There it is. No wait, there it is. It’s under this cup. No it isn’t. “There’s theory that can explain this better than I can.” As if most theory isn’t just a collection of essays meant to be absorbed and discussed by academics, not the average skeptic. “Read this book.” And the book won’t even answer the question. The book tells you to go ask someone else. “Oh, watch this so-and-so, she totally explains it better than me.” Why can’t you explain it at all? Why did you even bring it up if you were going to point me to someone else to give me the basics that you should probably already know? Maybe I’m just one of those crazy people who thinks that some people need to be kept away from the public for everyone’s good. Maybe that just makes me insane. Maybe not believing that pervasive systemic misogyny could be solved with a UBI and a prayer circle makes me a bad guy. But it’s not like women’s safety is a priority anyway. It’s not like there is an objective claim to be made that re-releasing violent offenders or simply not locking them up is deadly.

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[xxcrumbxx]

Hello hello soo um im still workin on it ,ive been kinda burnt out from it an ik thers no real preshure and im wayyy past valintinse day but heres a wip of those silly lil valintines cards

Also today is my birth day im 22 now so .. Thats a thing. Anyway im planing on making like 3 alternet vershions of eclips 1 with the cannon tipical 2 arm pre decomishion desighn 1 with the 4 armed fannon /cannon design and 1 with the 4 armed ballone world desighn. Probly ganna take a bit but what ever it will be valintine in fuckin may who cares lol

[suntails]

stalemate

[luck-of-the-drawings]

JUST ROLL WITH IT: PRIME DEFENDERS - EPISODE 12: FESTIVAL OF FEAR

part of a thumbnail project hosted by the lovely wonderful GREF (that link goes to the twitty post, heres the pdf for ur own viewing tho)

THIS WAS VERY FUN! THANK U FOR ALLOWING ME TO JOIN AND PLAY.

[shkika]

if u call me beautiful you can have my attention for 5 more minutes

[trchrswtrs]

I had a dream about Sebek and a fly.

Sebek was going about his normal business, when he noticed a fly sitting on his hand. He casually brushed the fly off, before lifting his gaze to resume his duties. However, out of the corner of his vision, he caught sight of the fly, back on his hand. He swatted at it again. But somehow, it remained where it was. He shook his hand, twisted it about, swiped at it multiple times but no matter how hard he tried to get rid of it, the fly remained on his hand. Growing increasingly frustrated, he even tried to crush the fly in his hand. But the fly still remained. He couldn't help but let out a cry of anger and upset as tears began to stream down his face, for he was desperate to be rid of this fly. This fly that would not release its hold on him. This fly that clung to the back of his mind every second of the day. And there was nothing he could do but despair.

[obsob]

more kitties that live in my sketchbook

[pikhachu]

girls when their issues get dismissed as anxiety for the millionth time

[o3o-lapd-o3o]

DINNER IS (finally) SERVED

3000ish words later and part 8 is here! hope you guys enjoy!

(p.s my headcanons explainations are in the tags if you're curious)

(p.p.s credit also goes to @rin-solo for the first headcanon )

the post/thread that started this whole au

dinner scene: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7

there's a masterlist now!

*odysseus is making his way to the dining hall, while athena and poseidon are following behind*

poseidon: *looking around at the decorations/tapestry dotted around*

poseidon: *see’s a tapestry of what looks to be a very much younger odysseus in full king & armour attire*

poseidon: *stops walking, and turns to look at the actual odysseus in front of him, then back at the tapestry*

poseidon: *to odysseus with a sardonic tone* do your weavers like making you look like a boy, or was that a decision you made to make yourself look younger?

odysseus: *pauses his walking to see what poseidon is talking about*

athena: *also pauses and turns to poseidon*

odysseus: *sees the tapestry in question*

odysseus: *sighs* of course you point that one out 

athena: *who knew odysseus before he was king*

athena: *glaring at poseidon* uncle, you shouldn’t make assumptions, especially when you don’t know the facts

odysseus: *pats athena on the shoulder as he passes her*

odysseus: it’s fine athena

odysseus: *next to poseidon and looking up at the tapestry* if you must know, that is actually the age i was. 

poseidon: *not believing him* yeah right, you couldn’t be older than fifteen in this

odysseus: *turns to him with a sharp look* you’re correct, i was fifteen

poseidon: *slightly wary of odysseus’ mood* so… you became king at fifteen? isn’t that a little bit young for a mortal to rule a kingdom?

odysseus: *turns back to the tapestry* i was already the king, i was actually crowned when i was thirteen

poseidon: *shocked and confused* why would a child be given a kingdom to run?

odysseus: *looks down with a sad smile, at the memory of his father telling him about him losing his mind, and how sorry he was to place such a huge responsibility on his young son’s shoulders*

odysseus: well, i had no choice, but i would do it again if i had to… 

odysseus: *turns to athena* besides, i had athena to help guide me

athena: *smiles with a nod at odysseus*

odysseus: *starts walking in the direction of the dining hall again* anyway…enough of that, can we please just make our way to the dining hall now

*they all continue making their way down the hall*

poseidon: *notices a stain on the floor tiles not far in front of them*

poseidon: *points* i think your servants missed a spot

athena & odysseus: *both look to where he’s pointing*

athena: *chuckles to herself in knowing*

odysseus: *smirks* 

poseidon: *sees both their expressions, and is confused* 

odysseus: oh that..oh don’t worry it’s clean

odysseus: *shrugs* it’s just so hard to get bloodstains out of white titles

poseidon: *wide eyed* blood?

odysseus: yeah.. not long after i finished with you, i arrived back on my island to find my palace overrun with 108…mutts… all vying for my wife’s hand. 

odysseus: *waving his hand like it was a simple issue* so i made sure to deal with them all myself… unfortunately one of them left a stain.

odysseus: -oh look we’ve made it

odysseus: hope we haven’t kept them too long

poseidon: *shocked at all the new odysseus lore he’s unlocked*

athena: *laughing at poseidon’s expression*

odysseus: *opening the door* come on let’s head in

poseidon: *shakes away the shock*

odysseus: *to poseidon* i guess it’s time to introduce you to my wife

*they all walk through the doorway into the dining hall*

*there penelope and telemachus both stand not too far from the dining table; which has quite the feast laid out, and from the steam coming off of it, it had not long be put there*

odysseus: *heads over to his son & wife*

odysseus: *looks at poseidon* poseidon, you’ve met my son telemachus before.

telemachus: *can barely keep in his excitement* 

telemachus: hi- i mean good evening lord poseidon, i’m so happ- grateful you accepted my father's invitation for dinner. 

telemachus: *puts his arm on his chest, and leans forward in a  bow of respect* i hope you enjoy the evening.

odysseus: *narrows his eyes at poseidon, silently threatening him to not be rude to his son*

telemachus: *looks back up at poseidon, smile on his face*

poseidon: *quickly nods his head in greeting to telemachus* good evening prince, your father tells me that this was all your idea 

telemachus: *raises a hand to nervously scratch under his chin* um… yes i guess it was

poseidon: well then, thank you for the idea to invite me.

telemachus: *hand leaves his chin and a big smile breaks out* well of course! you are my father’s friend after all!

poseidon: *eye twitches before he quickly composes himself* 

poseidon: yes… friend.

odysseus: *coughs* yes and now that you’ve both reacquainted yourselves again… telemachus why don’t you go speak with athena for a moment

telemachus: sure!

*telemachus makes his way to athena, and they start talking amongst themselves*

odysseus: *puts his arm around penelope’s waist* now, please let me introduce you to my wife; the queen of ithaca, penelope. 

penelope: *doesn’t bow like telemachus, but nods in greeting* welcome to our palace lord poseidon

poseidon: *nods back* thank you for having me queen penelope

penelope: *smiles but her eyes have a certain glint to them* 

penelope: my husband has told me all about your part in his journey home to us

poseidon: *totally not panicking a little* uh-

penelope: *glint leaves her eyes, but her smile remains*

penelope: -and also how you have helped out on his and my son’s fishing trips lately.

penelope: of course, i would also like thank you for taking the time to attend tonight

poseidon: sure… no problem?

odysseus: great, everyone has met everyone! 

odysseus: *to everyone* now, shall we sit down and eat the lovely feast the cooks have made us, before it gets cold?

odysseus: *moves to pull out one of the chairs at the head of the table for penelope as he normally does, when he notices that, there is only one chair instead of two*

odysseus: *looks up at the table and sees a piece of parchment with ‘mother’ written on it* 

odysseus: huh?

telemachus: *makes his way over to his father* oh! there’s a different than usual seating plan for tonight! i’ve put everyone's names where they should sit.

odysseus: *smiles at telemachus* oh ok, sure!

odysseus: well, i guess i should look for mine then, hey?

telemachus: yes, and please everyone else too!

*everyone makes their way to the table to see where they’re sitting (even though three of them already know)*

odysseus: *sees the parchment with ‘father’ on it* 

odysseus: *expecting to have either athena or telemachus next to him*

odysseus: *watches as athena stands in front of the seat opposite him*

odysseus: *thinks it’s weird to put athena & poseidon together, but thinks telemachus has done is as they are uncle & niece*

odysseus: *then sees telemachus stood in front of the seat next to athena*

odysseus: wait-

poseidon: *sees his name and heads towards it, only to look up and see odysseus standing in front of the seat next to him*

poseidon: wait-

poseidon & odysseus: *both look at each other in horror that they're stuck next to each other all evening*

telemachus: *not noticing the looks of doom on their faces* isn’t this great? it’s a family dinner, so what better than friends sitting together? 

telemachus: *turning to penelope* sorry you’re by yourself at the head of the table though mother

penelope: *smiles and waves her hand* i don’t mind

penelope: anyway, let's sit and eat!

*everyone but odysseus and poseidon sit down. both who have a death grip on the back of their seats*

penelope: *clears her throat* odysseus, lord poseidon… would you both please sit down.

odysseus: *snaps out of his staring at poseidon* 

odysseus: uh sure…

odysseus: *sits down and look back to poseidon, nodding his head at poseidon’s seat in the motion for him to also sit down*

poseidon: *still doesn’t sit*

odysseus: *a millisecond of a flash of red eyes* 

poseidon: *sits*

odysseus: *internally to himself* oh this is gonna be a long evening

odysseus: *to everyone* ok, everyone dig in!

odysseus: *to poseidon* can you get what you want for yourself, mighty sea god? or do you need a mortal’s help?

poseidon: *grabbing a lamb chop off a platter and tearing into it savagely in defiance*

odysseus: *rolls his eyes at poseidon, but goes to place a filet of fish on his plate*

*everyone has been eating and talking*

poseidon: *looks at penelope (who is talking to telemachus & athena) and then looks at odysseus*

poseidon: *thinking and then looks back to penelope*

odysseus: *to poseidon* is there a reason you keep looking at my wife?

poseidon: *jumps at little at being caught looking* 

poseidon: *turns to odysseus* oh do not worry yourself, i have no interest in your wife

odysseus: *unimpressed* why do you keep looking at her then?

poseidon: im..curious 

odysseus: *narrowing his eyes* about?

poseidon: normally you mortal men choose women younger than them for their wives… yet clearly your wife is; from my estimates… about a decade older than you

poseidon: *now with his hand under his chin, leaning on the table* 

poseidon: do you perhaps…prefer older women odysseus?

odysseus: *hands tighten in grip around his cutlery*

poseidon: *notices odysseus hasn’t responded yet*

poseidon: i’m right aren’t -

odysseus: no.

odysseus: *his eyes may not be red, but are clearly full of anger*

poseidon: *eyes widen in worry* whoa whoa! no need to get angry, it’s just a simple observation…. anyone if they pay attention can see the age difference

poseidon: *moves his hand to flick his hair back over his shoulder* it’s not a bad thing

odysseus: *takes a breath in to calm down and then slowly releases it*

odysseus: we are- were the same age… physically at least

poseidon: *confused* i don’t follow

odysseus: *looks at poseidon* during the 10 years it took for me to get home… i found myself stuck on a goddess’ island for 7 of them…

poseidon: ok…

odysseus: *closes his eyes* caly- the goddess had full control over everything on the island… her magic influenced everything… including a mortal's ability to age.

poseidon: so you didn’t-

odysseus: -age? yeah

odysseus: *sighs and opens his eyes* when i realised i wasn’t… i- i- 

odysseus: lets just say i didn’t handle it well

poseidon: *blinks at this new information* oh

odysseus: yep ‘oh’ indeed… 

odysseus: *looks back at poseidon*

odysseus: didn’t you think it was odd that i looked exactly the same when we met again, almost 10 years after our first meeting?

poseidon: in my defence… i was angry and trying to kill you, i wasn’t really paying attention to how you looked

odysseus: *rolls his eyes* i guess that's true

telemachus: uh lord poseidon? may i ask you a question?

poseidon: *happy to not continue his conversation with odysseus*

poseidon: *to telemachus* ask away prince of ithaca

telemachus: is it true that you gave achilles his horses balius & xanthus?

poseidon: *amazed at telemachus’ knowledge* 

poseidon: not directly… but yes i am the reason he came to acquire them. you see i gave them to his father peleus, as a wedding gift for his wife thetis…

*poseidon continues to tell the tale, and odysseus speaks with athena and penelope while more time passes*

*the meal is continuing smoothly as can be*

poseidon: *notices that odysseus has only been eating the fish. not touching a single bit of pork, beef or lamb that's also on the table* 

poseidon: *who has continuously eaten all meats available*

poseidon: *to odysseus* is there something i should know about the meat?

odysseus: huh?

poseidon: *points at the selection of meat in question* what's wrong with the meat? you’ve only touched the fish.

poseidon: if i hadn’t seen the others eat it, i’d worry you’d asked your cooks to poison it or something. 

odysseus: *raised eyebrow* poison won’t hurt you though? 

odysseus: *pointing a fork at him* also, why do you care about my eating habits?

poseidon: *frowning at the fork* i don’t, i’m just-

odysseus: curious? poseidon, i thought you were the god of the sea, not curiosity…

poseidon: *huffs* forget it-

odysseus: i can’t

poseidon: *now his eyebrow is raised* you…can’t?

odysseus: *now using the fork to push the food on his plate around* i can’t stomach eating lamb, pork or beef anymore

poseidon: *forever confused by odysseus* uh why?

odysseus: *gives poseidon a ‘do i really have to explain everything?’ look*

poseidon: *just stares*

odysseus: *once again sighing because of poseidon* well i thought you’d understand lamb… after the whole sheep incident with… your son.

odysseus: then after i escaped you with the wind bag-

poseidon: *rolls his eyes at the memory*

odysseus: we wound up on the sorceress circe’s island… where she turned my men to pigs. 

odysseus: i managed to convince her to turn them back, but it now feels weird to eat pork

odysseus: as for beef, short story is my men ignored my warnings and killed the sacred cattle of the sun god… so yeah beef is a no go for me also. 

poseidon: *wondering how one mortal managed to interact with so many gods on a journey to get home*

poseidon: *laughs at odysseus* and you’re letting that affect your eating habits? i expected you to be stronger than that odysseus

odysseus: *narrows his eyes at poseidon* oh just like how you let my handling of your trident, affect you into doing as i say?

poseidon: *now glaring back* 

poseidon: *turns away from odysseus* whatever, more meat for me

*dinner continues, with telemachus asking poseidon more questions. poseidon loving the interest in him and telelmachus’ knowledge, answers the all the questions with surprising enthusiasm*

*eventually what was once a giant feast of food has nearly been cleared from the table, thanks to having two gods eating most of it*

telemachus: have you enjoyed yourself so far lord poseidon? 

telemachus: *smiling* it’s been really fascinating and fun to learn so much more about you

poseidon: *almost letting a small smile appear on his face in return*

poseidon: *instead just nods* yes, it certainly has been an interesting & knowledgeable evening

telemachus: what about the seating, was it a good idea to put you with my father?

poseidon: *wants to answer no, but feels a kick from under the table. clearly from odysseus*

poseidon: yes, you came up with an ok-

odysseus: *gives another kick* 

poseidon: -great idea

telemachus: *laughs in happiness* 

telemachus: oh but i can’t take all the credit

odysseus: *raises an eyebrow in curiosity* 

athena: *who is sipping wine next to him*

athena: *slightly chokes* wai-

odysseus: *suspicious* son, you must make sure to tell us who else to thank for this

telemachus: *not understanding the bombshell he’s about to drop* oh athena actually came up with the idea!

athena: *suddenly nervous with the two very intense stares directed at her*

athena: w-well it was just a suggestion really…

telemachus: no ‘thena! remember you said as it’s a family dinner, friends should sit with friends!

odysseus: *to athena with the fakest smile* oh athena, how considerate!

penelope: *who has been quiet this whole exchange*

telemachus: *as if he hasn’t already unknowingly thrown one person to the wolves* but i of course had to run it by mother first, as she was helping me with all the planning!

penelope: *eyes have totally not widened*

telemachus: she said it was a great idea!

odysseus: *now to penelope* oh my dear wife, a great idea eh?

poseidon: *just chugs back his cup of wine at the revelations*

*after a awkward moment (at least for 4 of them) they continue on finishing the meal*

*eventually the food is finished and the dinner has come to an end, everyone has moved away from the dinner table and are now sitting on cushion chairs or standing around them talking amongst themselves*

poseidon: *looking out the window seeing just how dark the night sky now is* 

poseidon: well this has been a lovely evening, but it is getting late and i have been away from the sea for as long as i can.

poseidon: *turning to penelope and nodding his head in actual respect* queen penelope, thank you for your hosting

poseidon: *without nodding at them* athena, odysseus… good night.

*before poseidon can turn to bid telemachus good night, the prince runs out the room*

telemachus: *yelling before he leaves the room* please lord poseidon, wait a moment! i forgot something!

poseidon: *turns to look at odysseus in confusion* 

odysseus: *just shrugs also confused* 

poseidon: *turns back to the door, telemachus long gone* uh sure.

*not long later telemachus runs back into the room dishevelled but holding something in his hand*

telemachus: *walks up to poseidon* 

telemachus: *bows and holds out something covered in a silk cloth to him*

poseidon: uh-

telemachus: it’s a gift! i’m not expecting anything in return, and i’m sure you have better things… but i saw it and thought you’d like it

poseidon: *blinks, but takes the gift from telemachus’ hands*

poseidon: *carefully unties the silk cloth*

poseidon: *breathes in sharply*

telemachus: *not sure if that's a good or bad reaction* uh if you don’t like it that's fin-

poseidon: *holds his hand to stop telemachus* 

poseidon: prince of ithac-

telemachus: telemachus- sorry for interrupting. please my lord, call me telemachus

poseidon: …telemachus. thank you, this is a very thoughtful gift. 

poseidon: i will cherish it.

penelope & odysseus: *curious over what's got the god of the seas ‘cherishing’ something*

athena: *small smile as she knows*

*penelope & odysseus move closer to poseidon who is still staring down at his gift. once close enough they can see in his hand is a a handcrafted glass/crystal hippocampus*

*poseidon ended up wrapping it back in the silk cloth, and placing it in his chiton. He then thanked telemachus again and bid him good night & farewell. odysseus offered to walk back to the cove with him, but poseidon waved him off and told him to stay with his family*

[krysmcscience]

Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)

This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)

I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)

Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!

Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!

He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!

Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.

Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:

I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao

Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)

Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:

He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.

To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.

Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)

A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~

The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D

No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.

I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:

He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)

And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:

Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:

Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)

whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now

I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE