#then two days later ford shows up and is just like. what the ACTUAL F*CK IS HAPPENING???

[krysmcscience]

Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)

This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)

I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)

Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!

Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!

He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!

Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.

Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:

I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao

Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)

Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:

He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.

To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.

Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)

A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~

The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D

No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.

I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:

He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)

And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:

Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:

Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)

whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now

I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE

[lizzybeth1986]

Music Ask - Queen Edition

@callmetippytumbles tagged me on this, stating that she was sure there would be a Queen song for every question on this ask. Well Ima prove her right! 😂

So since they’re all going to be Queen (unless otherwise specified), I’m going to replace band name with album name instead.

1: A song you like with a color in the title:

🎶 White Man🎶 from A Day At The Races

“What is left of your dream?

Just the words on your stone

A man who learned how to teach

Then forgot how to learn"

Part of me loves this song, but part of me is also is uneasy about it. The song is supposed to be from the PoV of an unspecified Native American tribe, speaking of how colonization has destroyed everything they have stood and lived for - but it’s written by a British white man, Brian May - and we have no idea whether he consulted a Native American for this or not. If he hadn’t, or hadn’t gotten consent, it would be him speaking in the voice of the oppressed while still holding the privilege of being White…and that’s a little disturbing. I love the song, and Brian May is my favourite Queen member, but I can’t ignore that this song has problems.

2: A song you like with a number in the title

🎶'39🎶 from A Night At The Opera

For the earth is old and grey, little darling we’ll away

But my love this cannot be

For so many years have gone though I’m older but a year

Your mother’s eyes from your eyes cry to me.

Besides being an ace guitarist, Brian May is also an Astrophysicist with a Doctorate!! xD And this song really shows us his background in that area: it’s fashioned in the song tradition of a sea shanty, but is about outer space and time relativity. I called this "the plot of Interstellar, 39 years before Interstellar��.

3: A song that reminds you of summertime:

🎶Seaside Rendezvous🎶 from A Night At The Opera

One of Queen’s few vaudeville tracks xD

4: A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about:

Thankfully I got into Queen loooong after I broke up with my ex. BUT “More than Words” by Extreme and Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” hit very particular sore spots coz he dedicated them to me AFTER dedicating them to a girl he always had a thing for (long story gah).

5: A song that needs to be played LOUD:

🎶March of the Black Queen🎶 from Queen II

6: A song that makes want to dance:

🎶Don’t Stop Me Now🎶 from The Game

This one was the very first Queen song I actually listened to, and every time I hear it I wind up doing Hana’s happy dance in my seat 😂

7: A song to drive to:

HAHA there are two! One by Roger Taylor and the other from Brian’s first solo album:

🎶I’m In Love With My Car🎶 from A Night At The Opera

This is a song by Roger Taylor, and it’s not really his best (he’s capable of far superior tracks: Tenement Funster, Radio Gaga, These Are The Days of Our Lives, Small), but it garnered a lot of money and royalties by virtue of being the B-Side of Bohemian Rhapsody.

🎶Driven by You🎶 from Back to the Light

This song ended up being used as a theme for commercials for Ford cars in the early nineties, as I recall.

8: A song about drugs or alcohol:

Drugs: 🎶Don’t Stop Me Now🎶 from The Game

I mean, just listen to some of the lyrics! “Floating around in ecstasy”? “Tiger leaping through the sky defying the laws of gravity”? “Travelling at the speed of light”? I personally think the songs about a whole lot more, but you can’t deny the narrator sounds very trippy lol.

Alcohol: 🎶Killer Queen🎶 from Sheer Heart Attack

She keeps Moet et Chandon in a pretty cabinet

Let them eat cake, she says, just like Marie Antoinette…

Not about alcohol really, but it does mention it.

9: A song that makes you happy:

🎶You’re My Best Friend🎶 from A Night At The Opera

So John Deacon wrote this lovely sweet song for his wife, and it’s got the most adorable lyrics ever.

Ooh I’ve been wandering round

But I still come back to you

In rain or shine

You’ve stood by me girl

I’m happy at home

You’re my best friend

10: A song that makes you sad:

🎶Mother Love🎶 from Made in Heaven.

This is spoken of as being the last song Freddie ever recorded before he died, and his vocals are OFF-THE-ROOF powerful here. Two verses are sung by Freddie, and the last is sung by Brian May, who co-wrote the song (because Freddie felt too worn and weak and tired to continue recording, and told Brian he would return and do the rest. He never did). To hear Brian complete the song because Freddie has gone…is quite heartbreaking, actually. I’d definitely recommend everyone listen to this gem.

11: A song that you never get tired of:

🎶Teo Torriatte🎶 from A Day at the Races.

What I love about Queen is how appreciative they are of their overseas fans, esp those who loved them at the very start of their career. Way before Bohemian Rhapsody placed Queen on the map, they had a very devoted fanbase in Japan, and I believe this song was written specially for them. It also appeals to me as a super mushy romantic xD

12: A song from your preteen years:

EVERYTHING PRECEEDS MY PRETEEN YEARS. Okay but definitely this one we heard a lot:

🎶We are the Champions🎶 from News of the World

13: One of your favorite 80’s songs:

🎶Who Wants To Live Forever🎶 from A Kind of Magic

Another Brian May gem. I tend to associate this a lot with my Liam MC, Esther - esp for most of Book 2. It’s a beautiful track and was used as part of the Highlander movie OST.

14: A song that you would love played at your wedding:

We never had wedding dances at our weddings, and Queen is usually not wedding material haha but here’s some songs that would go well!

🎶You’re My Best Friend🎶 from A Night At The Opera

🎶Teo Torriatte🎶 from A Day At The Races

🎶Bijou🎶 from Innuendo

Bijou is very interesting because it was structured as an “inside-out” version of the usual song - there would be instrumental (guitar, in this case) where lyrics would be and lyrics where you would typically find a guitar solo. Haunting.

15: A song that is a cover by another artist:

🎶Goin’ Back🎶 by Larry Lurex

This was the first ever recording we have of Freddie Mercury, under the name of Larry Lurex. The original was written by Carole King and Gerry Goffin. A sampling of it is used at the very end of Mother Love, as a way of rewinding to the beginning…a symbolic goodbye to Freddie by going back to the first words that sparked his career.

Damn. I’m emotional now. 😭😭

16: One of your favorite classic songs:

Most people would go for 🎶Bohemian Rhapsody🎶 - and for good reason - but I think 🎶Prophet’s Song🎶 from the same album is equally deserving of this. It’s beautiful, has a lot of echoes that make it surreal and ethereal to me, and very power-packed vocals and lyrics.

17: A song that you’d sing a duet to on karaoke:

🎶Love of My Life🎶 from A Night At The Opera.

The fun thing about any Queen concert is that the audience has always been as much participant as spectator. LoML is one of the few ballads that the band used to interact with the audience, who were always ready to sing along. Freddie started this tradition in his live concerts, and Brian carried it on when he and Roger went back to touring as Queen +. To this day, you will always find a Queen audience being as involved in this song as the people on stage. It’s beautiful to watch. No Queen concert is complete without the audience crooning this ballad.

18: A song from the year that you were born:

🎶A Kind of Magic🎶 from the album of the same name (released 1986)

19: A song that makes you think about life:

🎶A Winter’s Tale🎶 from Made in Heaven

This happens to be one of Freddie’s last written compositions, and it’s unbelievably beautiful and dreamy. He had very few months left to live when he wrote this gem of a song, and there’s so much joy and hope and tranquility in it, and the moment you listen you will inevitably feel a sense of peace washing over you. I can imagine sitting by a lake alone in Switzerland, looking out at the sky and the snow, just listening to the song and basking in all it has to offer.

🎶Miracle🎶 from The Miracle

This is also a very hope-filled song, composed by Freddie shortly after he was diagnosed and told he had very little time left. It’s a very idealistic view of the world, but yeah I really like this one too. Just not as much as I like A Winter’s Tale. 😂

20: A song that has many meanings to you:

🎶White Queen (As It Began)🎶 from Queen II

On one level it’s about a girl who cannot see and the boy who loves her. On another I feel like it can also be about the sadness of unrequited love in general, and of an almost-relationship.

21: A favorite song with a person’s name in the title:

🎶Delilah🎶 from Innuendo

This song was about Freddie’s cat. It’s fun xD

22: A song that moves you forward:

🎶Death On Two Legs🎶 from A Night At the Opera

I can be a spectacularly petty bitch sometimes, and this number can be so vicious it satisfies those vengeful, bitchy parts of me lol. A lot of the lines in this song are particularly cutting, and it should be because it was written for someone who was fleecing the band dry in their early days.

23: A song that you think everybody should listen to:

🎶Track 13/Untitled🎶 from Made in Heaven.

Most people might be put off by this track because it’s 22:33 whopping minutes long, and it’s an endless loop of sounds but OMG is it trippy. Mostly a lot of synthetic, loops, Freddie saying words, and this overall ethereal, otherworldly vibe. Most Queen fans interpret this piece as a depiction of Freddie’s journey to heaven, and call it “Ascension”. Kind of like a requiem, a fitting goodbye to Freddie. I can see why. I mean I can always lie down, close my eyes and immerse myself in the tranquility of this track. All 22.33 minutes of it. It’s a strange recommendation, but in my mind a fitting one.

24: A song by a band/group you wish were still together:

🎶The Show Must Go On🎶 from Innuendo.

Queen aren’t together because their frontman passed away, not entirely out of choice 😟 (okay and John Deacon didn’t want to be involved anymore later on). This was written and composed by Brian May, but Freddie really makes this song his own in the singing. The way he hits some of those notes - at that stage in his life - is spine tingling.

25: A song by an artist no longer living:

🎶Lily of the Valley🎶, written by Freddie Mercury from Sheer Heart Attack.