#like the dumbest yapping ever

[bunniehunn]

I wonder how having low iron and high blood sugar would affect the taste of your blood to vampires… would it be too sweet? Like; “eugh ew wtf who dumped sugar into this humans blood gross this tastes like shit” and they just leave you bleeding out cuz you taste nasty. Maybe some like the more sweet taste.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw

[rubber-glovs]

CHAT I'M TOO FAR GONE

[starscelly]

finally finished my Magnum Opus and scheduled it to upload tomorrow bc i will in fact be waking up like in the evening. i am so fucking tired. good night.

[soulfulazrael]

Stolas and Stella. Shallow conflict that could be so much more. Conflict of two Hells and torment of the immortal.

So... another post that probably will be another long Yap fest of a weirdo who has only the brainpower to make threads on a cartoon. Eh. Could be worse. My drive to make this post was sparked by this one image (or well... two).

Great... Very subtle... Deserves a medal don't you think? Ah well. Today's subject as you can tell from the image presented here is RELATIONSHIPS! Or rather one set of relationships that has been bothering me and inspired me to do better in my own work based on this show. This disaster that is the Stella/Stolas/Octavia dynamic is one huge problem in my eyes and I will explain that below with some thoughts of mine and why this particular image sparked such vitriol in my peanut brain.

I think the biggest and most noticeable problem that can be seen straight away in this one picture and entire show that... it is just so damn simple. Way too simple and 1 dimensional which this show tries to parade as something meaningful and deep. I mean one look at it and you can see all of the problems. Stella is made into a laughing all evil bastard. Octavia FOR SOME REASON is just angry at Stolas and makes a mean face which makes no sense given how they interact. And Stolas is presented as some tragic, deeply hurt figure when he is in fact the architect of most of his own miseries, but the show seems to believe in that horseshait.

And at first one who only has this picture as any sort of context may say that "It's okay. The wife is obviously an evil capital B, but the daughter in this whole equation adds to the complexity and the feeling of that the dad also screwed up heavily".

Except to anyone who actually watched the show this makes no sense because Octavia has literally NO reason to ever side or ignore her mother's stupid and malicious behavior. It's one thing where you want to include a complex dynamic where the sides are more blurred and another where you make one side so obviously WORSE. Not to mention stupid and seemingly unable to hide any of their douchebaggery.

And it's another issue of the show as a whole where it just cannot for the life of it have complex antagonists and most of them are pretty much the same damn archetype. Both shows do that in fact. Because both HH and HB work in the same way. They all have the same kind of snickering abuser who loves to torment their victim and they are about as smart as average Twitter Blue buyer. I mean can you tell me ANY sort of difference between someone like Val, Stella, Crim or Mammon? Any of them? Besides their designs and people they abuse? You probably have to think it through and I think it goes to show how all of them are so damn similar to each other. To the point where they are all almost exactly the same boring character.

And funny thing is? It didn't have to be this way. And this second image feels like more of an insult for two reasons.

Still not perfect, but it's better somewhat And the reason for that is... it feels like actually a bit subtle. You have less cramming in of how terrible Stella is. Octavia being a more oblivious child and Stolas while caring for her being more absent minded. That creates an interesting dynamic and Stella has some air of mystery to her where she can be taken in many directions.

They just chose the absolute dumbest one. And that's why this image makes me mad. It shows they COULD do better, but choose not to and that this art serves no other purpose than just to say STELLA LE BAD. And they have no other agenda with it. No other way to interpret it because of that second stupid one. It narrows and destroys so much potential. Almost as much as that picture of baby Stella from Circus.

And I think another big issue I kind of mentioned before is this parade of complexity. It wants to put on facade of being complex and having something to say, but it really doesn't. It provides a very simple and dumbed down story with clear good and bad side where one side is cartoonishly evil to the point of being moronic while other one is paraded as a victim to end all victims and they put in a dress of sad crying scenes and the daughter being pissed for no reason at clearly good party because the idiotic plot demands it.

And other big issue... Is that this does not explore ANY interesting ideas. No interesting dynamics. No interesting implications or provides any sort of value to the world or explores anything in this world of HELL. Where you can make the world feel wild and interesting and the ways this world shaped those people. The ways those people are broken. The ways you can expand on this conflict beyond the surface level idiocy.

And I want here to present an example of a story rather similar... that did this right. So right it's almost comedic. I am talking about a story of Bloody Baron from Witcher 3 so for all people who did not play this almost 10 year old game (holy shit W3 came out almost 10 years ago... Can you slow down time?) then I must warn you. For the rest who did play or don't care. Enjoy.

Seems appropriate. Bloody Baron questline is probably one of the most impactful, complex and interesting conflicts I've seen in any game. A story of abuse, trauma and pain in a family of Bloody Baron, his wife Anna and daughter Tamara. amazing writing, great voice acting, great characters all that good stuff. But let me tell you why it's so good.

First off. The characters. They are all very well written and are very believable. Bloody Baron especially is a sad mess of a man. An ex veteran, drunkard and abuser who tries to find his wife and their daughter she took with her when she escaped from him after their recent fight. A fact Geralt is not aware of, one of many he and us by extension are not aware of.

This may already sound rather familiar and stay with me because it gets better. What works so well with character of Bloody Baron is that while he is at first a completely unlikeable person that gets worse over time as you discover more filth in his story, he is also extremely human. He is no caricature and you can tell why he became the way he is and you can tell he is full of great regrets and despite his actions still holds a lot of love for both his daughter and wife. He is someone who did terrible things to his family, someone very rash and very brutal, but he is not a total and complete monster. He watched his own other child die partially as a consequence of his own actions. Lost his family. He lost almost everything besides an army of men that couldn't give less of a shit about him and a home in a dreadful swamp full of monsters. His character greatly explores the mind of someone very broken, someone who lost himself to alcohol and ended up making a ton of terrible mistakes and now tries to atone for them. But we also see in flashbacks that he can be also a caring man as he helped Ciri and little girls she saved. He is no less of a terrible person because of it, but it adds humanity to him.

And other two characters in this do not fall far behind as well. Anna especially is also a very broken shell of a person. And despite what one may think she is also not innocent in all of this as she is someone who first cheated on the Baron after he went out to war. Leaving him for some other man as he was putting his life on the line for them (while also falling to alcoholism as well). And when she was confronted about it and when her lover got slaughtered by Baron she broke and started to try to kill him and herself which started the abuse from Baron who only found this to be a good way to calm her down and Anna herself was a clearly traumatized woman who was now in a cage with the Baron.

And in between all of that was a young, very scared child of both. Tamara who saw only the abuse her mother received and felt like it was all her father's fault for everything breaking apart around them and eventually devoting herself to group of Eternal Flame as a way of handling her situation. She still received lots of love from her father, but could never see him as anything less than a monster.

All of them in this scenario... probably feel oddly familiar. And it's funny because in many ways they ARE like Stolas and Stella and Octavia. But roles are somewhat moved and the conflicts feel far more real. Tamara is not for some reason seeing the abuser as lesser evil seemingly. She sees the abuse, but doesn't know a full story much like Geralt or anyone else. Baron in this case is in many ways like Stella. He is someone who abuses their partner and goes into violent rage when they leave them, but unlike Stella you can tell there is this lingering love for his family that further fuels this abuse and brings more pain to everyone while Anna is a broken mess of a woman who cheated on her husband and paid terrible price for it and kept paying as... she sold her upcoming child to terrible witches. Or rather she wished for it to die and for it sold her soul.

And this I think is what makes this story all the stronger. It's not just the tragedy or realism. It's how it ties into the world of Witcher as a whole where we are introduced to some of the most harrowing set pieces of the game and some of the most disturbing villains in the game who also simply act upon their nature as deal makers with Anna and simply know something about Geralt's own daughter Ciri (who they tried to eat). It expands the world and uses it in a meaningful way and pushes more interesting ideas like the side of Anna caring for children at the swamp that are meant to be devoured by witches. Another Hell that ends either with her complete breakdown or death, but also either suicide of the Baron or redemption as he tries to save her and no longer drink or abuse her. While Tamara no matter what has to also face her own consequences of having to forever be tied to Endless Flame, but also putting faith in her father in the good ending and possibly ending with their relationship beginning to heal.

And all of that feels natural. This kind of story definitely can be told anywhere, this kind of story doesn't need this setting, but it further enriches it. And I think another big part of this story I like is that it doesn't try to paint any side as being in the RIGHT. Because in this kind of situation NO PARTY is in the right... And as someone who did went through similar thing... I respect that. And that is why I cannot accept what HB does. In this situation there are no good guys or bad guys... Just people who keep making mistakes (and don't worry, family may be a bit broken, but I still love both my parents no matter how far one may be).

And it is funny because story of Bloody Baron in many ways is how the whole situation with Octavia and her family SHOULD look like. A very harrowing story where there is no place for good or bad sides. Where you have to choose FOR YOURSELF who is more at fault. And the game leaves that decision to you. It does not tell you what to think. It tells you to think. One of the writers who made that whole story said once "I do not like likeable characters. I like interesting characters". And I think that is also where the writing suffers. It tries to paint one side as "likeable", but because of that it removes so much complexity from the character by excusing all of their awful behavior or painting them as ultimate victim. And do not try to tell me also that because Stella is so easy to hate then they are well written. That's not true. Making hateable character is the easiest thing in the world. Just put everything bad in them and make them not like protagonist and oppose them. That's it. It's lazy.

And that also makes me so mad about HB because they were CLOSE to making something good. Not exactly the same as Bloody Baron, but something of it's own that could also be good.

I personally make a fic called "Song for the Quiet Bird". There I partially explore characters of Stolas and Stella and Octavia and I try to paint the entire situation in a more gray light where each side is not truly in the right. Where both of them are in their own ways broken people. And to do so I also try to use something I wish Viv used which is Immortality of Ars Goetia which could have been a thing, but Viv decided to make Stolas like 30 because then you have cute Stolas and Blitzo arts as kids.

In my version both have lived already for 800 years. They lived already for a long time and there is eternity waiting ahead and both cope in their own ways that were taught to them by the world of Hell to not lose themselves to eternity. Stolas is a selfish hedonist who cares the most about his own pleasures and even though he cares for Octavia it is very easy for him to lose himself in his own desires and pleasures as he mostly cares for himself the most and anything that is extension of him. Meanwhile Stella is a cold, distant and very duty focused character. Someone who while trains Octavia for the longest time does not involve herself too much with her own daughter, barely seeing her as one. Someone entirely focused on the prosperity of the family as a whole, someone who does not believe in value of individuality or personal joy and instead focuses on the good of everything else solely. This good being judged by her and her views that value subjugation and order compared to Stolas's love for chaos and selfish freedom.

In this case both sides are very broken. They both have to live through their own Hells made by their own choices that add to the fact they were born into the world of Hell. Neither one can really truly coexist with each other and both long ago abandoned any hope for true understanding. And in all of that the only real victim and good party you can find is Octavia. A person who suffers because of this clash of ideals and has to cope in her own way with suffering both she and her parents go through. All of them suffering.

That's at least how I write it. Something where you cannot pin to one side being terrible or evil. Just everyone being broken in a terrible world you have to fight with to make something better and both in a way... gave up. Until of course Moxxie comes along there for Stella and his presence helps her develop... but that's another thing.

I also have some quotes below from my fic to show my approach to both Stella and Stolas as characters. First one is Stolas and Octavia having a chat in the most recent chapter.

And here below is a scene between Stella and Moxxie where there is some discussion about theatre plays of Hell and difference between human and hellish ones delving into also her own view of the world (this IS a Stella/Moxxie crackship fic... just a big slowburn). From one of the earlier chapters.

Both I think probably show their own deep flaws and ways of coping with their own realities.

Now I don't say I want my ideas to be in the show, but more complex ones. Ones that are not just this... thing we've been fed for all of Season 2 and partially in Season 1 which could have been taken in a better direction, but it never was and just like one image here ruins another, here season 2 retroactively ruins the 1st one. Stella/Stolas/Octavia dynamic just has potential to be so much more than... whatever HB is now.

Well that was stupidly long and I can't imagine many people getting here, but hey. I wrote it and it's already too long to not post it. To whoever came this far I thank you and hope you will leave your opinion on this manifesto. Hope it was entertaining at least.

[axl-ion]

Gonna yap a bit about what I picture the ship dynamics between Ingo and... All the men I ship him with to be.

1. Melli x Ingo (Highlands shipping)

I think they would have the more physical (not meant sexually) relationship, since I think to some extent they are both very tactile/touch friendly (I know touch friendly is a tech term). Off the topic but I picture that Ingo's cheeks (face cheeks) just kinda burn from time to time and Melli has almost chronically cold hands. Also I think they would have the type of love old people have when they are so used to eachother's shenanigans they only act they are mad (unless it's something really bad).

2. Ingo x Gaeric

I think they are the buddy couple, like they are literally dating their best friend. Also apart they are smart people but together they are the dumbest duo you've ever witnessed.

3. Ingo x Laventon

I don't really think about their ship dynamic too much, but I think their relationship would mostly be like... The most calm couple you've ever met, the ones that just radiate the calmness the zen. Also they would infodump on eachother the most.

4. Ingo x Looker

I think these are just the 2 funny gay uncles amplifying their silliness and I low-key want to finally write a Tumblr fic about them, but I first have to finish the HEADCANON SHEETS SCHOOL HAVE MERCY ON ME.

Highly specific, but Ingo would give Looker a Hisuian Sneasel nicknamed Picklock which would live up to her name and have the ability to pick locks.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Head cannons for sandor having a wife/so who’s laboring/giving birth and how he is afterwards when he sees his daughter (bc we all know he’s a girl dad duh)

WOOOO NONNIE inchresting. 🫶🫶🫶 This was super fun to do thank you for this my love 🫶🫶🫶

!!! GIRLDAD!SANDOR HEADCANONS!!!

Pre-dad Sandor would definitely be a worry wart

10x that once his wife is pregnant lmao

very much giving 'let me do it for you'

super fascinated and in awe of his wife's growing belly

Loves rubbing her pregnant belly

Would cut a fool who gets too close to her, or if she gets crowded

Is physically unable to say no to whatever his wife needs

Loveeeessss giving (iykyk) when she aches (;

Mid labor, esp if his wife is having a hard time, Sandor would be panicky as hell, but he wouldn't show it

Ya know men weren't allowed to watch births if he wasn't there he would be scared out of his mind thinking about it

Buttttt if he was there he'd not leave her side

"you're doing so well my love"

Man's accustomed to gore but feels a lil lightheaded watching her crown

Tbh I feel like he wouldn't give a fuck if he became a girl dad or boy dad, but I myself am super biased to girl dads as well

Sooooo

Post dad, or rather, official dad!Sandor would sob at the sight of his daughter

"she's so tiny 🥺💔😭"

If his baby girl ever grabbed his finger, and did the baby grip thing he would bawllllllll

He'd definitely get super existential, "this innocent darling is my blood?" SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

"she's so precious and pure tho" BASHING HIS HEAD AGAINST THE WALL

Yaps about his daughter 24/7

Would get matching lockets with her

"Sandor, shes a babe, she can't wear jewelry 😐"

Hangs the locket on her cott instead

Would literally bring his newborn around, showing her shit she can't even see cos her eyes haven't gotten the sight update yet?????

"LOOK ITS A HORSE!"

Baby girl passed out making faces

"LOOK AT THE SKY, MY LOVE, ITS AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU!"

His wife sometimes watches as he explains things to the sleeping girl and thinks it's super funny

Picks flowers for her baby and puts it in her hair

Shows it to everyone who has eyes "look mah baby so cutie 😁"

Trains her to say papa from day 1 🫡

Practices braiding hair on his wife for the baby

Is super jittery when the baby cries

Does the dumbest shit known to man just to make his child smile

🫶🫶🫶

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

Hi Mara, do you think it’s at all possible to force oneself to enjoy things one usually doesn’t, or do you think it is like chirality and one’s “natural” interests and proclivities are not subject to change? I can’t help but feel stupid and like a liar to myself when trying to live healthier, or be productive and work on myself. It’s just fake, I don’t really care, and so the good habits never stick, but accepting myself for who I am, an empty lazy slob with no real interests, doesn’t feel too good either.

Hi anonymous, thank you for the opportunity for me to yap -- I haven't gotten a good opportunity in awhile :-))

'Naturalness' is weighty and ought not have much to do with the self outside of chirality (if you are approaching it from a Maraist standpoint): all that is, is not much more than confusing shadows that are manipulated by outside actors to stimulate you and draw you in-to the performance, to keep you engaged and connected--I wouldn't believe another person if they told me they a) believe this, and b) live in accordance to the belief of this, as the best way to depart from the actors and their game is to self-depart and un-live, and the dead do not weigh in on much cept soil and dirt.

WITHIN CONFUSION, when I'd been thinking about answering this initially I'd been thinking that I can barely relate to you, anonymous, as most of the 'need' to fake interests seems to be related wholly to connectiveness and those whom we find ourselves connected to, ie: faking acceptance of political issues that match the odorous vibe of the friend group when deep-down the thought needles and smarts, or: someone you care about showing you something that immediately makes you think this is the dumbest thing I have ever seen but I want this person in my life so I'll say something warm, or etcetera; connection itself is a long smear of the self (small and insignificant like a little mustard seed amongst grain) to bury it in a greater body such that the color and timbre is lost amongst the neighbors, as the self is made to become a neighbor, and the self itself is but an echo of the word trapt in fat and mud (or, on the other hand: an echo of the mud trapt in shrill songs and migraine colors); you are, by design, made to be subject to a Gravity and pressurized down away from heaven, and away from self--that is the natural-way;

WITHIN CONFUSION, and less unnecessarily esoteric and verbose and stupid: I don't really believe in 'fixing' yourself one way or the other; I eat the same yogurt concoctions every morning because I struggle thinking of a better temperature/texture combination, but I am getting tired of it--and if I were to extrapolate this out, I think of etiquette-breaks like 'psychiatric profiles' an attempt at suggesting that "Mara will, and forever will, be a breakfast yogurt-lover" though all my life I'd been held over a candle and slowly melted into a yogurt-lover-shaped mold and been made to set that way. The issue I had with struggling to relate is, because I'm fairly lonely and private lately, I do not really have much other than myself to compare my 'likes' and 'dislikes' to. It is very easy for me to not bother forcing myself on-to a dislike, because there aren't many Gravities to pressure me lately. But that isn't completely true; taking cold showers, for instance: hated this but kept up with it; waking up at 4am and cleaning the house and exercising for at-least an hour: hated this, but now it is just an excuse for me to listen to more Stephen King audiobooks before breakfast; morning prayer, same as the morning routine. For some things it really has just been truth to me that if you are forced to adjust, you will adjust--a person can not be passionate forever in their dislikes or hates, same way a honeymoon fades; what you love will become a tired routine (me and yogurt), what you hate will become a tired routine (me and waking up at 4am and jogging), but if you give yourself breaks eventually you allow those feelings to melt and recollect and be subject to passions and not-set as routine.

My failings, anonymous: me and drawing and writing--never been able to force myself to do these; I struggle with forcing myself to abide the word and forbid myself from listening to music completely; even though I have no problem with the vegan diet itself and had a pretty solid run with it: couldn't stop obsessing over "every-thing I hadn't yet tried" and death looming over my head (as it seemed) made the dietary sacrifices seem even more painful and pathetic and done wholly out of some forced desire to be Pure and Saintly (yet on the inside begging sin and dirt no better than a lunatic rat clawing at a cupboard). On food and diet, though: I used to be obese from middle-school to high-school and basically forced myself to exercise/diet pretty strictly out of (as you said) not liking myself as a slob--and I still am driven more-so out of a desire (fear) to not be fat, not be unhealthy, not be a slob, not be ugly--because I am scared of all of those things; it was easy enough to convince myself that eating more than 4 pieces of cereal for breakfast was a gluttonous amount of food and then slowly watch my hair fall out and lose the ability to stand from fatigue--somehow that was less scary than being fat. As well, there's just a mechanical motivation from being intensely sick from diet; if I eat the wrong thing or eat too much I end up bedridden for several days from migraines (the fear imposed from this makes it hard to seek-out trigger foods).

This part isn't even slightly helpful (likely the latter parts, too) but I think regarding diet and food specifically, it helps a lot being open to liking a lot of foods and shaking out what you think you dislike. I might be super privileged there because (although I have some preferences that I stick to ala yogurt for breakfast and wraps) I mostly do not dislike any food, and can only really think of disliking artichokes/brusselsprouts (I hear they're good if you fry them in oil but that is most things..) and badly prepared liver; I love veggies and fruits.

IN CONCLUSION, anonymous, I don't think any of this is particularly good advice and I think a better thing to analyze (than what I wrote) is what you wrote to me, how you refer to yourself, and how you're laying pitfalls for yourself. This world is made to bury you in gravity and lose you in soil, smeared under layer-after-layer of connection until you're convinced you are wax over a candle dripping down into some strange form, and those confusing shadows keep on whispering and whispering and then your mind is looking up out of a mold. Are you unable to force your likes to change? Are you someone who is unable to care about improving yourself? Do you really dislike being a slob? Who are you, anonymous?

To me: you are anonymous; take care, anonymous.

[thephantomcasebook]

Someone please give Ewan Mitchell a book on Greek Mythology so he stops yapping about that Cyclops myth about giving his eye to Hades in every interview like THAT IS NOT A THING WHERE DID HE GET THAT FROM 😭

I don't know what you're expecting ... my guy is an actor.

I hate to be the one to break this to you, nonny ... but actors/actresses are pretty fucking stupid as a whole. They play pretend for a living and spend most of the time being told what to do and think by either directors, writers, or publicists.

If you're waiting for an actor/actress to say something smart ... you better have packed a whole ass picnic.

The smart actor/actresses are the ones that are self-aware enough to know they're dumb and don't say anything.

For instance, Jessica De Gouw is one of my favorite actresses. She's a great character actress, very beautiful, charmingly charismatic ... and might have some of the dumbest takes I've ever heard articulated ... and I've been a fan of Lena Headey since I was eight-year-old. Her hot takes on life and society are Olivia Cooke level stupid - nearly 'dropped on the head as a baby' level moronic. Listening to Jessica De Gouw podcast interviews were she talks about anything other than her acting is my Vietnam. But I still love her and support her work - within reason.

So, don't be too hard on your boy, Nonny, just appreciate what he brings to his craft. Listen, Ewan Mitchell and Tom Glynn-Carney are two of the best character actors working, they're fucking interesting looking and do interesting things on screen. Remember you like them for their talent ... and not so much for their brains.

[yaboirezzy]

Alright, here's an explanation (post version):

So this is something I wouldn't usually say publicly because I don't really like telling and sharing my personal stuff online, especially on social places like tumblr or others because of how people usually react to someone feeling or saying anything about themselves. Also because I rather vent stuff in rather than bothering everyone close to me online about it. But I feel like making an exception just this once because this is actually about my tumblr blog.

So on my blog I've been doing all kinds of stuff over the past few years, artworks (both digital and traditional), text post, memes, incorrect quotes, and so on. And don't get me wrong I enjoyed it, I was happy with it, but in recent times I really feel like I've done nothing but make some low effort garbage that people only viewed or liked out of pity and nothing else. I feel like I've slowly changed from a someone eager to share their love and interest for their favorite fandoms to an annoying little shithead that won't stop yapping about anything (be it headcanons, AUs, ships) regarding their fandoms.

Especially when the stuff they waffle about aren't even as good as to what other people do. Artwork? everyone else had done better artwork of their favorite hyperfixations, character fanart, ship fanart, you name it? then it's guaranteed that everyone else done it better. Text post? everyone has made ones that are much better than mine, some even I based or took inspiration from (which is pretty much stealing I think). Memes or meme redraws? again mine looks like something out of the early 2000s compared to others. Incorrect quotes? god I can't believe that these are what I started with and are what 90% of my blog is about, yet I can't even get them right or being good at least. And those are just the basics, picture this people usually make artwork to show their love towards something they like and usually show others why they like or spread the popularity of their favorite thing, well guess who fucking sucks at that aspect as well? Showing my love towards my favorite fandom though artwork or text or quotes? awful at it, you would think I was young kid who just got introduced to them, trying to increase the popularity of an otherwise underrated or unknown fandom of mine? suck at it, just showing an image of them would've done a better job promoting each series, what about trying to seem like an active fan and participating in trends or events within the fandom? well me not being able to follow an 'art week' thing and being late to a redraw trend should be a clear sign as to how that goes.

And that's the reason why I wanna end myself I've been feeling so terrible about myself lately, I feel like trash about not being able to do the stuff I wanted to do whether it's artwork, text post, or even interacting with others.

In terms of artwork and meme redraws I just wanna see my vision come to life be that in the artstyle, the position/posing, or look/quality, but I can't due to limitations and whatnot. That's why I'm always eager to see art from others, but I know everyone's got other things to worry about, it's also why I feel like an absolute leecher whenever I ask or even request any of my artist mutuals anything their art is so much better than mine and I hate how I couldn't even mimick a fraction of their quality. It just makes me feel sick that I considered myself the same to them, I have done nothing worthy like them yet I always try to fit in as an 'artist' among actual real ones.

In terms of text post and incorrect quotes, I don't even know why any of you liked those, or even reblogging them. I've seen people put genuine care and effort into their headcanons, AUs, fanfics, even incorrect quotes and yet here I am saying the dumbest ideas and thoughts ever. Not only are they so bad, so low effort, and so braindead to read for any rational human being, but they are just so not funny, like at all like please fucking make it stop, I mean from what you'd probably seen on others you'd at least expect me to be another one of those it's so bad it's funny kind of stuff, but no, I just keep making dishwasher slop over and over and people are liking them, why? why are you all doing this to yourselves? you'd have a better time watching the series my stuff is about than liking and reblogging it.

Again, this is really something I've kept hidden and I've only now talked about with one of my mutuals, but I feel the need to make this just so I can say from the bottom of my heart:

I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything I've said. I'm sorry for everything I've done, I don't care if they're good, bad, neutral, or means nothing at all. I'm sorry I couldn't done more or better. I'm sorry to all my mutuals and friends. I'm sorry that I'm broken, I couldn't be fixed. I'm just...I'm sorry that I exist here.

Please just let me be in pain alone...

[thegreatbuttoneer]

INTRO POSTS ARE FOR LOSERS

so of course here’s mine.

PSA: I’m almost certainly neurospicy, but also undiagnosed and unmedicated, so expect a lot of bullshit from this blog

ALRIGHT SCRUBS, HERES SOME BASIC INFO:

Names: Call me Max, Buttons, TheGreatButtoneer, Fool, Jester, That Guy, him over there Officer, he’s the one who robbed the bookstore, you get the idea.

Age: I cannot legally drink alcohol, let’s leave it at that

Pronouns: He/Him’s a safe bet. I don’t mind being referred to as ‘they’ either, though :)

I am the dumbest ‘smart guy’ you will ever meet

Nationality: this shit: 🇨🇦 (MY TIMEZONE’s AST BTW)

____________________________________________

I like words, words are fun, and sometimes I make up words or use ‘not real’ words. The most common of which being:

Mkay (okay but softer)

Aight (alright)

Au contraire, expect random outbursts of Shakespeare language

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I blaze through hyperfixations like a wildfire, but here are some relevant ones ig?

-Newsies (hence ‘Buttons’ as a nickname)

-Don’t Starve/Don’t Starve Together

(I wanna throw Wilson like a dart.)

-The Outsiders (I was dragged into this but it’s still pretty neato)

-NOT MEDIA BUT CHESS?? FUCKING LOVE CHESS. CHALLEGE ME TO A CHESS GAME PLEASE

-(Update: I stumbled across Chess: The Musical. I am now a liar. It was also media Chess.)

-Card games too, I don’t go anywhere without a deck of cards

-DND

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Anywho that’s all I have the patience for rn. Ask me shit, I love yapping, yapping is my passion

.-.

:)

[mamaestapa]

hi loves!!!🤍

i’ve seen all of your messages and asks, i appreciate all of the love and kind messages. it means the world to me🤍

i feel terrible for coming back and then leaving again. i keep saying im back for good and then i disappear again…for like weeks. (it seems like as soon as i feel good enough to come back something comes up and im back to where i started LOL). its been good for me to step away from writing and from this blog, but i also miss it so much. i miss you all so much!

it was my escape from reality, gave me something to do, and kept me busy/always looking forward to something—which is what i really need right now!

as many of you have probably seen, my bf and i broke up. it was more of a “break” though because we did end up talking through it and getting back together (could’ve been the dumbest decision ever, but idc. i’m happy with my decision). SO we’re back, we’re both happy and feel we did the right thing. for me, that’s all that matters.

so i’ve been quite busy with him and working on our relationship, plus i got a babysitting job that’s been keeping me busy too. but i miss writing SO SO much.

so i’m deciding to make my comeback by doing a couple things. if you’re sticking around and are still here waiting patiently for new writing, thank you. thank you for your patience and your support, i love you all🫂🤍

here’s my plan!

fresh start on au asks: i’m going to delete all asks in my inbox and just start fresh with requests. i’m too overwhelmed with what i’ve got, so i think starting over with au asks will help a lot with that! (everything on my masterlist i’ll keep!)

fresh start on my drafts: i’m also going to delete all the planned fics in my drafts. once again, i’m overwhelming myself and think i just need to start fresh with those too. so any au fics, song imagines, unfinished works in my drafts will be deleted.

song imagine series: i’m going to try my song imagines series again! i’m still figuring out how i want to do it, but i will be trying that again! ttpd has inspired me with angst, so that’s partially why im going to try to get back into some song imagines lol

however, before i can do any of that, i NEED to update masterlist links for au’s!!! thank you all for being patient about that, i know it can be frustrating lol.

i’ll quit yapping for now, thank you all for your patience and understanding. your support means so much and i love you all SO much🤍🤍

[skygirlstars]

❤️🧡💛🏳️‍🌈 for unpopular asks game!

yayy thank you for the ask!! this was so fun. it's yappin' time

❤️: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?

this is a tough one because there's so many lol. Barriss (not a villain), Han (not a player), literally SO many of the Jedi, the list goes on. but I think Luke is one of the most interesting cases because I feel he's mischaracterized in different ways by different sides of the fandom. there's the dudebros who think he's just badass, which he is, but nothing else. his most important character trait is quite literally his compassion because it drives the plot of the whole OT. he's a kind and empathetic person, not some embodiment of toxic masculinity bullshit. on the other hand, there's the poor little meow meowfication and infantilization of him from another side of the fandom. yes he's a ray of sunshine but that doesn't mean he can't be tough too!!! he's nice but he also has zero tolerance for bullshit, is headstrong and stubborn, and the furthest thing from shy. many people (myself included) headcanon him as gay or bi and that characterization of him also enforces really harmful stereotypes and narratives about queer men. so in summary, a lot of the fandom mischaracterizes him through a lens of either toxic masculinity or harmful stereotypes. not fun. that got way longer than it was supposed to be, whoops 🙃

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

in-universe: that Padmé was somehow manipulated into loving Anakin, whether by Anakin subconsciously using the Force, or by Palpatine, or whatever. nope, my girl Padmé just has horrendous taste in men (case in point: my least favorite SW character, Clovis 🤢). she saw the red flags and decided red was her favorite color. stay delusional queen. out-of-universe: DISNEY LUCASFILM IS NOT GOING TO RETCON THE SEQUELS FFS. that is the dumbest shit I've ever heard sorry not sorry. Disney admitting they made something not good??? not possible. I can't believe people still honestly believe this. the sequels are not my faves either but with the amount of money made off them anyway, a retcon is not happening

💛: What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?

do we consider Reylo popular??? it's very divisive so idk if it counts. but I hate it lol, it's the yucky toxic BookTok type of enemies to lovers. bro deadass tortured her. me personally, I wouldn't let that slide. they also feel like Force cousins or something in a weird roundabout way...? we've already had one incestuous kiss in SW, don't need another. also Rey is lesbian imo. if we're not counting Reylo as popular, I quite dislike Sabezra just because I see them very much as siblings. honestly, any ship where I see the characters as siblings feels icky to me -- Anisoka, Rexsoka, Obikin, etc (although siblings vibes is not my only complaint with those examples, unlike Sabezra).

🏳️‍🌈: Which character who is commonly headcanoned as queer doesn't seem queer to you?

quite honestly I think this is the hardest one for me because I headcanon so many characters as queer HAHA. my personal philosophy for fictional characters is bi until proven otherwise lol. maybe Ben Solo/Kylo? idk how much he's HCed as queer but I think he and Hux are shipped fairly often and I just don't see it lol. that's a straight man, I'm afraid. but he's really the only one I can think of off the top of my head, though I'm sure there are more

here's the original ask game if anyone else wants to have a go or wants me to answer any others (please send me asks I love asks I love yapping)

[teddybeartoji]

10, 11, and 17 for you and satoruuuuu !!!

PERCEEE MY DEAR!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEETHANK YOU SO MUCH FOR INDULGING ME WITH THESEE AAAAAAIT MADE ME SO FUCKING HAPPPYYY:333

#MITORU

10. constantly saying "i love you" or only say "i love you" during very serious/romantic moments?

A LOT OF "I LOVE YOU'S"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE A LOT!!!!!!!!!!! i did answer it here too but i will not waste the opportunity to yap some more hehehehe. there are so many different "i love you's" in this relationship - sometimes it's counterattack after a snarky "i hate you", sometimes it's just a bunch of sleepy, mumbled words that stumble from our lips as we're dozing off on top of each other. but then there are the romantic ones, the real soft ones - whispered against skin, to make them last. wrists, temples and pulse point on our necks - we spray the love and then carry it with us for the rest of the day. hehe like perfume you know? it's cute. i love him. i really really love him.

11. calling each other by their names, plain and simple or calling each other really flowery pet names?

he has never. called me by my name. NEVER. like not even when we were friends, or when we had just met. he ofc pulled the good old "oh, mickey you're so fine" lyric on me and i think he genuinely thought he had seduced me with that smh. (he did.) but yeah, he doesn't use my name at all and i am okay with it!!!!!!!!! more than okay actually!!!!!!!! i love pet names soooo so much, they make me so giddy hehehehe besides the ridiculous ones that he keeps coming up with, he loves calling me baby!!!! it always sounds like a coo and i kinda hate it bc like mmmmmmmmmmi can't think like thissssss.................... smhh he's so perfect:((((

i definitely use his name though lmao. 1000000% use his last name just to watch him pout at me:3333 but overall i really love his name, i think it sounds very good and i am veeeery fucking sure that he loves hearing me say it too. okay but i also use petnames!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's like a competition of who can come up with the dumbest ones.... (he always wins.... i hate him)(i will marry him). i mostly like to call him baby and my baby and my love and my angel and sweetheart and oh man i could just keep going. he sometimes still gets a little flustered by these btw and it's literally the sweetest thing ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

17. love at first sight or slow burn?

IT'S BOTHHH😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭we're stupid okay. we were both really infatuated with each other right from the start but then it took us soooooo long to actually... do something. best friends to lover type of beat you know - so close but still so afraid to cross the line:(((((( satoshoko are so tired of us lmao like yeah fake fucking idgafers we saw you staring at each other lovingly😒😒

[idkthough1]

God sometimes I just really feel for the twilight franchise. Like, the way the characters act (at least, human characters) act the way dumb teenagers act. Y’all ever hear 15 year olds talk to each other? Dumbest shit. Because everyone’s a dumb shit when you’re 15, I don’t care who you are.

But also it’s just so clear why Bella and Edward got attached to each other so quickly. Based on everything in the books, it almost seemed that Bella’s mom might have used living in Forks as a punishment, not like “do everything I say or else” but in a “well, if this new hobby of mine is an issue maybe you could take a break at Forks” or “I’m sorry I’m such a bad mom for doing all of this, if you really want to you can go live with your dad” while telling Bella everything she hated about Forks. But of course they talk about it and Renee goes “oh but I love you so much and nothing will ever come before my daughter”

Until she falls in love with Phil, and Bella has gotten so used to her mother “giving things up for her” that she learns to be okay with it, and wants to her make sure her single mother doesn’t have it even harder. So she moves to Forks, resigned to have a boring time until she…well, she doesn’t know. College of course but like, for what? The only thing Bella ever seemed to like was reading, cuz it was something that Renee never got too obsessed with.

So of course she ends up falling hard for someone who starts giving her all of this attention and wants to out her before anything, the girl is anxious as fuck, a people pleaser to a T, and doesn’t want to be left behind, like Charlie was.

This is a lot of introspection and a few bowls deep. I am not an expert on shit and I do not claim to be. Bitches just be yapping and I am definitely bitches

[whosadu]

a note i wrote for the guy i love (he has a gf now, but nvm)

when i first met you, i never thought this is how we'd end up. never. you were this absolute perfect human being and i was a random girl crushing over you, never imagining in my whole life that this is the guy i'd love. love is a heavy word for me. i don’t throw it around easily. you’re there for me for everything, whether shit happens with my mom, other people, or maybe just me being dramatic, you’re always there. even when you’re in a bad mood or pissed at me (which you rarely are but nvm). i didn't fall in love with you because i had no one else. it was a choice. i don't want you to just be a fling of mine. i want you by my fucking side. poets would take a step back if i had to explain my feelings towards you. you get me. im a mess of a person. with my mood swings, my abandonment issues, my attachment issues and my fear of being alone. i hate it when my whole body aches and screams in pain because of my fear of abandonment. it starts so slowly and consumes me so damn fast. it's like a prison, where the silence becomes my cellmate, and the shadows of solitude gracefully dance around me. in these moments, i feel like a young child left alone, even though youth surrounds me. you don't make me feel like that it's honestly something alien. you make me feel at peace. you're the only guy i've ever been comfortable with. ever. and we know eachother. there's no one else in this whole wide world who knows me better than you do. and there's no one else who'd make you feel more loved, other than me. so this is me, swallowing my pride, writing to you. i don't want you to just be a fling, just a mere fwb situationship or just more than friends, less that lovers shit. i want you to be wholly mine. the same way i'll be wholly yours. here am i, trying to talk to other guys, trying to find a glimpse of you in them. but i've realised, maybe you're the one i'm meant to be with. you know every side of me. the one that rants about her family, the one that yaps constantly about the dumbest things ever, the one that is stressed about her academics, the one that is just so pissed that she doesn't even wanna talk. you know it all. and i know how you rant about your day, yapping about your gym incidents, your shoots, your friends, how you don't get stressed about your academics even though you probably should be, and how you've been wronged in your past by many people. i can handle your ghosting phases, and i can handle your bad haircut phases, or your tuesday fast tired self. i can handle your lame ass humour and your fashion advice that never fails. i want your bad angle selfies and your tired nights. i know you love receiving gifts even though you say you dont. i know about your birthmark on your ear. i know about the story behind the missing stone of your favourite ring.i know it all. what's more left to say. we're already bestfriends. but i don't wanna be that. i wanna be more. i know you probably love me as a friend but we'll make it work. our bond is deeper than that. maybe this thing is temporary. but i don’t mind being temporary as long as it means i’m temporary with you. i want to make up for the all the love you never thought you deserved, all the love that was stolen from you. i want to be the one that makes you laugh. the one that will always have your back in this fucked up world. the one who'll forgive you no matter what. i know your favourite songs and you can tell me about your dreams and we can live, in peace. be the source of all love and comfort. i just hope you realise, i'm the one for you.