#like no one cares about trans mascs but other trans mascs

[corvidcall]

sometimes you see a bad tweet and it makes you upset all day but you cant interact with it in any way because then twitter will just be encouraged to show you more bad tweets. but it did ruin my whole fucking day

[assmaster-8000]

why don't clothes fit me the way they do on a skinny cis guy (<- isn't a skinny cis guy)

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[luckyladylily]

So like, transandrophobia.

To start this out, I am a trans woman, been around in the queer community for a while. I'm also bisexuality, polyamorous, disabled, and aromantic, and I think these other parts of my identity and the crap I've caught over the years for them heavily informs how I analyze something like transandrophobia. My wife is also asexual, so that plays a part in it too.

So every group of marginalized people has their own unique experiences and problems. It's more of a rule than something we've mathematically demonstrated, but as far as these things go it's ridiculously well established, and personally every time I've done even a basic dive into the issues faced by a marginalized group it's been self evident. I could easily list a dozen groups ranging from racial minorities to different kinds of disabled people to different queer identities and analyze their social issues but let's be real, this is pretty well established theory, anyone who needs me to do that is not really interacting with good faith. This is one of the big reasons we talk to people about their own experiences and groups, we cannot reasonably extrapolate the experiences of others from our own.

So like trans men and trans mascs and anyone else that falls under that umbrella has their unique experiences. The idea that we would even question this is weird to me? Like I can't even imagine the kind of evidence someone would need to present to me to change my mind, and given the pattern of the queer community to be shitty in exactly this way to people in our community, yeah that is not happening.

Therefore, we are taking it for granted that the trans men/masc/related umbrella has their own things going on like everyone else ever, and I don't understand how someone acting in good faith can try to claim otherwise unless they are young or otherwise very inexperienced with such things.

The next point of contention seems to be the name, and I gotta be real I don't care and I don't understand why other people do. I've read all sorts of arguments against the word transandrophobia and the majority of them seem to be rooted in a misunderstanding of intersectionality, and even then it's like there is such a thing where people get so mired in theory that they miss the forest for the trees.

Perhaps more important to me, getting overly worked up about something as unimportant as the precise term is... weird. Like exclusionists hating on bi and ace people weird. I remember what it was like a decade ago when exclusionists were trying to police the words of bi women, and five years ago when ace and aro people were under constant attack under the pretense that our language was harmful for some reason or other. You are going to have to work very, very, very hard to convince me that any bickering over language as it relates to transandrophobia is not just more of the same.

Next, "transandrobros hate trans femmes" and similar stuff. I've seen the callout posts and found them completely unconvincing. Again, they read a lot like the old "ace people hate lesbians!" posts I used to see. I'm not convinced that the individuals involved were a problem, I am certainly not able to extrapolate a problem to the rest of the group.

Finally, there is this idea that "maleness is not a vector for oppression" and this invalidates something about the whole transandrophobia thing, ranging from the entire concept of trans men experiencing prejudice to something about language being imprecise all the way to "This is fascist shit, omg these people are basically nazis" depending on who says it. I'm not going to touch any of that and just look at the underlying logic.

This is based off a misunderstanding of intersectionality theory. Many people think of intersectionality as defining intersecting prejudice, like a ven diagram, such that transmisogyny is the intersection of transphobia and misogyny. This is incorrect. Intersectionality defines unique prejudice experienced by people with intersecting identities. Instead of a transmisogyny as the overlap of transphobia and misogyny, imagine adding a third circle that overlaps both but also has its own areas covered by neither.

Applied to transandrophobia, even if we assume maleness is not a vector for oppression, there is no reason to assume that the intersection of maleness with a marginalized identity doesn't result in new issues. Imagine that 3 circle venn diagram that represents misogyny, transphobia, and transmisogyny. Even if you remove the misogyny circle there is still plenty of ground covered by the transmisogyny circle.

This just isn't a valid criticism. It is a pure theory approach based on a flawed reading of theory.

So in summary:

Everyone has their unique shit going on and I've seen no convincing evidence that trans men, mascs, etc. Are the exception.

I not seen any convincing argument that the word itself is bad.

I've not seen any convincing evidence that there is some epidemic of transandrophobia truthers hating and harassing trans femmes on scales higher than normal background queer infighting.

The most coherent objection to transandrophobia I've seen is categorically incorrect and based on a fundamental misunderstanding of intersectionality theory.

I would like to remind everyone at this point I am a trans woman, part of the group that is supposedly a problem for and I've just not see it at all, to the point where it is kind of weird how intensely some people are pushing this.

I'm not trying to be mean or whatever, I'm sure the distress on display here comes from a real place and real trauma, but I've yet to see anything that makes me think there is substance to the objections to transandrophobia as a concept. It feels and reads like the latest round of queer intracommunity exclusionism, and the fact that this time around I'm not one of the target identities doesn't change that for me.

[genderqueerdykes]

if you are a trans man or masc, masculine nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid or other gender non conforming identity, masc gay, a bear, a butch, stud, or boi, or other masculine queer person and don't feel welcome in any queer spaces, you're not alone.

the communities both irl and online have become EXTREMELY hostile toward mascs and men to the point of straight up excluding us and changing their wording to justify their violent exclusion. from renaming nonbinary spaces to "femme & them" and "she+" spaces, to telling men & mascs that they would "Scare" the women and "nonbinary" folks just by being there, as if masculinity and manhood are inherently traumatizing to be around.

masculine and male nonbinary folks have it so hard- most nonbinary spaces are almost definitely women's spaces who also conflate womanhood with nonbinaryhood, and often times just view nonbinary people as confused women. we are not inherently traumatizing to be around: masc enbies need places to go. we are still nonbinary and still trans and still queer for fucks' sake

nonbinary has never and will never mean femme or woman-adjacent inherently. nonbinary means what it means: people who don't or refuse to adhere to the gender binary, regardless of what side it is. masculinity is included in this, femininity is not the only way to be nonbinary.

masc queers do not have to bend over backwards to try to be more feminine and thus "less threatening" in order to have places to go. that's dysphoric and just inaccurate to a lot of queer folks' identity and presentation. it blows my mind because it makes no sense, anyway, even within the gay community, hypermasculinity has been present and even sought after by some people who find it very attractive, twunks, hunks, bears... but between the periods in queer history people started viewing masc gay leathermen and kinksters as the ones who were responsible for spreading AIDS and thus removing them from pride parades,

AND the lesbian separatism moment picking up to remove butches & male & masc lesbians from lesbian spaces identity, paving the way for modern rdical femniism, we've only entered a downhill landslide of hating men and mascs and ultimately trying to erase us from the queer community entirely.

the queer community is not the "women & femmes community". the queer experience is broad and vast, it includes a wide variety of masculine and male experiences, as well as genderfluid, multigender, completely ungendered and other gendered experiences. the lesbian, trans, bisexual, nonbinary, gay and general queer communities aren't the "safe place to hide from men & mascs community" like estranged rdfems and terfpilled trans folk like to tell you they are.

this is the QUEER community and it includes ALL forms of queerness, masc, femme, butch, male, neutral, bigender, neutral, and all. he/shes and he/hims and he/theys and he/its and so on are just as much of a part of this communities as she/hers and they/thems. you can't cast a blanket of "inherently abusive" over all men and mascs and one of "inherently abused/incapable of being abusive" over all women and femmes because that just traps you in a fantasy land that doesn't exist AND it prevents mascs and men from getting the help, resources and community they NEED.

men & mascs are hurt and abused by women & femmes every day and we refuse to speak about them because we live under a white cisheteronormal patriarchy and have complaints about how that functions. the complaints are legitimate but assuming that all men and mascs are oppressing all women and femmes and that women can never be oppressive is a false as hell narrative that actively damages people.

enough is enough. this mindset is hurting people. it's leaving masc and male queers to be estranged, harmed and even dead. i care about you if you're being affected by this mentality and these behaviors. you deserve community, safety, and a sense of belonging, you do belong, even if we struggle to form our own spaces due to unjust hatred. we will do our best to band together and keep each other safe. we must

[narutocharacterpolls]

ROUND THREE

UCHIHA SASUKE vs TENTEN

Reasons for submission under the cut

Sasuke

he is trying so hard to do what he is supposed to, even succeeding at it, only for everything to be a lie

he's authentic and driven and he doesn't care what other people think, if he believes something he will go ahead and do it, unafraid of paying the price

Sasuke was right about everything

he went through so much and never gave up, it's very inspiring and means a lot

Fortnite Sasuke

despite everything he can't help but love

his relationship with Itachi is one of the most heartbreaking and beautiful sibling relationships, genocide aside it's very relatable

he looks just like Mikoto.....

he's beautiful!

he has so much compassion for others and will do what he can for them, but still does not compromise his own beliefs and goals to do so

he's so personal to [submitter] and has been the sole reason of making it through hard times

love is stored in the Sasuke

true heroine or the Naruto series

all his outfits slay

the whole manga wouldn't even exist if it weren't for him

kind, compassionate, driven by love, fucking iconic

trans masc icon and legend

the revolutionnnn

he is an emo icon

a communist

a transgay legend

[submitters] family is generationally effected by genocide so Sasukes justice means the world to [submitter]. Sasukes love means EVERYTHING to [submitter]

he is full of love

very strong

excellent gay representation

owner of the worlds most special eyes

the most relatable Naruto character

a snarky lil bitch :)

he went thru so much & gets too much hate for someone who only wanted revenge for his murdered clan

cat boy

femme fatale

kept going despite all the trauma he went through

flawless observation skills

analytical, intelligent

never let anyone push him around or manipulate him

full of love and kindness

pacifist at heart (refuses to kill innocents)

sought to destroy Konoha

serves cunt in all his outfits

friend of animals

killed Orochimaru because he felt like it

Tenten

her main jutsu is just throw so many knives at you and I respect that

her weapons mastery/sealing jutsu had so much potential and it never got the treatment it deserved

team Gai supremacy

[nicname]

”Oh if we didn’t have xenogenders/GNC trans people/neopronouns/MOGAI/etc etc etc then transphobes would respect us.” Untrue. Most transphobes are so insanely vitriolic that you could be the most standard, decent, agreeable trans person, and they would still hate you.

I’m a fairly basic trans man, online and off. I tone my gender down even more for work. I have short hair, facial hair, I wear pretty standard non-fitted pants and t shirts with some manner of compressive undergarment underneath, and I go by my fairly basic, common masc name. The only difference between me and my cis coworkers is that I openly engage in good-faith discussions about my being transgender when brought up, and I have a “he/him” pronoun pin I like to wear.

I have one coworker who I’m well aware has never gendered me correctly. I have assumed it was an intentional, bad-faith decision (because of other, unrelated-to-me conversations he has had with coworkers), but I’ve never really cared enough to bring it up to him. I figured, “if this is intentional, that’s his issue. I’m not interested in trying to change his mind.” I’ve reached a point in my transition to where I don’t really care that much if some random person doesn’t respect me or my gender, because I don’t need every stranger’s approval to be happy with myself.

With all that being said, I’ve treated him the same as I have every other coworker. I’ve been civil, I’ve been agreeable, I’ve still been friendly to him and haven’t gone around the workplace intending to smear his name. (Yes, I have discussed his behavior to those close to me who have asked, but I’ve kept it very private and said that as long as he doesn’t say anything outwardly malicious, I don’t really care about his behavior.) He has been outwardly friendly to me, too, telling me about his past careers, showing me pictures of his family, we’ve talked about our hobbies and other things we enjoy.

Still, after all of this, he has given up the ghost and decided to gossip about me negatively to coworkers. I won’t go into detail about what I’ve been told he said, but it was all explicitly transphobic and pretty aggressive. I’ve never gone out of my way to make him mad, relating to my gender or not, so it’s a little out of nowhere. I’m not particularly surprised by this, but I’m more surprised that he would be bold enough to say everything out loud when working for a company that has explicit protections for trans people in place. He was reported fairly quickly, without me ever knowing what occurred. The only reason I found out about everything is because I overheard a manager discussing it with a concerned coworker from my department.

So, if you take anything away from this, let it be that no amount of friendliness, gender-conformity, or civilness with stop a transphobe from taking their transphobia out on you, and it’s not your fault or any other trans person’s fault. Don’t victim blame trans people who become the subject of someone’s transphobic hate, because a transphobe is dedicated to harming trans people regardless of whether they blend in with cis people or not. Don’t use a transphobe’s needlessly malicious behavior as a reason to harass other trans, GNC, nonbinary, or otherwise gender diverse people.

[drdemonprince]

Do you have any advice on hooking up when being very COVID concious? I want to venture into casual sex a bit more (I've just gotten to the point in working through trauma stuff that I think I can do it healthily - I'm including no conventional sex BDSM in 'sex' here, bc it does Feel like sex to me), but I live with an immunocompromised person and don't want to put them at risk.

I guess what's holding me back at the moment is knowing I'm gonna be asking a lot from partners on just the COVID front (do a NAT test + be in a room with an air purifier before my mask comes off), before I even get to the compatibility thing (I like myself but I'm a fat hairy transmasc who's repulsed by bottoming and mostly stone, so I know I'm an incredibly niche taste), and feeling like it's so unlikely to work out I shouldn't waste time bothering?

Why give up on yourself and on the conscientiousness of potential partners by never asking? I think you and lots of other COVID conscientious hotties are missing out on the chance to get to know one another if you don't put it out into the world that you exist. There are people out there pining away for a hot, fat trans masc stone top who packs a strap and a portable HEPA air filter, I hear from them all the time.

I would recommend making a post to Lex just laying out your interests and then some of your COVID protocols. COVID-Conscious Stone [Verse/Top] Seeks Bottom for Air Purified Fun is definitely gonna get some bites, if your area is anything like mine! I think it's better for you to lay out your COVID safety protocols in the text of your post -- you don't want to have to waste time heavily vetting a ton of incompatible partners.

You should remember that your caring about COVID risk is an ASSET you are offering to compatible partners, not a burdensome ask! The right people will be thrilled to see that there's still others out there who care about COVID and are doing all that's in their power to make socializing & intimacy risk-mitigated. Even people whom you aren't sexually compatible with will feel immense relief just seeing that your post acknowledges COVID as a serious risk. You're helping to normalize necessary conversations and make the entire space more accessible to disabled people just by being there as yourself, with your boundaries and limits.

The same thing goes for you being stone and not enjoying bottoming. Do you know just how many bottoms are out there who want a cute fat masc to top them??? Thousands of them, dog! You are what you are and what you are is fucking GREAT. And a lot of prospective sexual partners out there in the world are not good for YOU. And so you can filter them out and move on to the next prospect rather than thinking of yourself as a product languishing on the shelf. You have a lot to offer, and you'll find people who get you.

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Hello!

I wanted to ask a question, if that's okay. So, I'm genderfluid afab and feel like a man sometimes (probably more often than I allow myself to realise). I don't have access to a Binder or anything of that sort (transphobic parents).

Is there any way for me to look/be more masculine? I'm a bit scared of goggling because I don't want to accidentally take advice from Tate people or the like.

(PS. I really like your Siegfried Farnon cosplay!)

Heya!

This is a tough one to answer. Because "masculine" means different things to different people. And "passing", as well.

Like. When I wear my fleece jacket and baseball cap, I'm deliberately passing as a certain type of man. But I felt more masculine the other day wearing an ascot.

So, I think we need to break down this question:

1) If you're looking to pass, there are going to be trans masc guides out there that will direct you to a very particular gender presentation. They tend to assume you are white and skinny. They present themselves as a list of Dos and Do-Nots, and at the end of the day, do more harm than good, imo. Because passing guides are almost always about hiding parts of yourself physically, often to the expense of hiding parts of your psyche.

Seek them out if you must, but when it comes to passing for safety, all I can suggest is ambiguous layers, a hat, keeping your head down and your mouth shut. The best way to pass is to not draw attention to yourself, alas.

2) If you're looking to dress more masculine to alleviate gender dysphoria, then you need to drill down to what makes you dysphoric and start there. My smaller feet is one area of contention for me, so I look for semi-dressy shoes that look long and elegant (like Taft boots). Since you can't get a binder, consider layers, if your chest bothers you.

3) If you're looking to dress more masculine to seek gender euphoria, then figure out your aesthetic masculine ideal. Make a pinboard of Looks you enjoy and see if there are trends. Some folks are drawn to athletic wear. Work wear. Perhaps a vintage aesthetic -- Rockabilly. 90s grunge. 1940s British country vet (meeeee, lol).

Ask yourself: What are the hallmarks of this style? Are there casual and formal versions? How does it change seasonally? How much of it is clothing and how much of it is the body (haircut, being muscular, etc)? And above all - what is this style trying to communicate to others?

Once done, see what sort of fashion tips are out there for your style. Who are the fashion experts and how much do you care about their advice? (Menswear guy has great tips about how a modern suit "should" fit, but a lot of his advice is also personal preference with a big dollop of classism.)

Pay close attention to how men wear their clothes -- where they sit on the body, how they style the outfit. Compare how a man is styled in your preferred look to how a woman is styled and see what that sparks in you. How much of it is the clothing or body? How much is posture? You might discern some visual shorthand you can harness to be read as more masculine. You might also come up with ways to have plausible deniability around your parents by being able to pivot a masculine look to be more feminine, when needed.

After all this research, get yourself to a thrift shop or other second hand option and start experimenting. Buying actual men's clothing is probably going to be your best bet, but depending on your Look Book, that may not always be the case.

No one can tell you how to feel more masculine -- that really needs to come from within. Once you figure that out, then it's a matter of reconciling your ideal look with the peculiarities of your body. (And all men have their own challenges wrt the fit of clothes.)

Afford yourself as much grace as possible when it comes to your body. And again, remember that feeling more masculine and passing more masculine may not always overlap and could even be at odds. And only you can determine if and when that is a problem.

[sooniebby]

Based on my random thought (I’ll be sprinkling what he’ll say in the actual fic, this is just a little sneak peak!)

“Usually my other clients can handle more than one pose—but it looks like you’re thinking about my cock instead, huh? Such a slutty boy… well, go on. Don’t get shy now. It’s your own time you’re wasting.”

Imagine having a yoga instructor who seems a bit rude and stand offish during his classes. He doesn’t talk except when giving instructions. It’s mainly for work, that’s all.

Even in his more… sexual side of work, he doesn’t feel much else. Except when he fucks you <3

Something about your whiny moans. The way you practically scream when he slams his cock inside of you. How you try to answer his questions even when the only sounds coming out of your mouth are moans.

He loves manhandling you. At first it was just to make you do different yoga poses—now he just loves seeing how easy he can control you. He’s grip is always harsh, wanting to make sure he leaves some time of mark on your body as your tight heat takes in his cock so easily.

“You can suck better than that, baby… don’t piss me off, alright?”

He loves it whenever you whimper, whining about how harsh he was treating you. But you knew the safe word—you just never said it. His smacks against your butt, tight grip on your waist… most instructors don’t kiss their clients, their own little golden rule. He follows it but makes up for it by biting you all over.

Leg, arm, stomach, neck, shoulder. Nothings safe. You always took them well. It’s like you were made for him. His perfect boy~

“Don’t muffle yourself. Everyone else is fucking and you can hear their moans. Let them hear your whiny voice, baby. Everyone should know how good I’m fucking you.”

He almost feels sad when the session is over. And the next day when he’s fucking his other client, all he can think of is you. Your moans. Your screams. His name on your tongue. You, you, you…

Damn, he was screwed. This wasn’t just work anymore.

wowowow! This was fun to write, and actually helped me develop my OC for this prompt more! This for male/trans masc reader if you couldn’t tell!

The character’s name is Tatsumi Yuta, if anyone cared lol. I’ll be writing the actual fic soon!! Im excited to do so. Feedback appreciated, and ask if you wanna be tagged once I publish chapter 1! (Yes it’s gonna be a series)

[nuancefem]

the most flamboyantly "gay-looking" man/woman you can think of...

has at least one person looking exactly like them who is straight.

because gay isn't an aesthetic. gay isn't a look. it's a sexuality you're born with. and femininity in men, masculinity in women, doesn't make you more gay or less gay or whatever. that's gender roles babey! that's what the left is claiming it's fighting against!

you can make jokes about looking like a lesbian or whatever. but i could wear the most hyperfem shit ever and still look lesbian. bc i am lesbian. whatever i do, whatever i wear, however i act, is lesbian coded. because i'm a lesbian. i'm just expanding what it means to be a lesbian by being myself. and feminine straight men and masculine straight women are expanding what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman, which is a win for feminism and fighting strict gender norms. it helps everyone. we should make the boxes of man & woman bigger, funkier, cooler. we shouldn't assume it's "queerifying" manhood or womanhood when it's just making them be neutral. it means that if you're a human being you can do WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT and still be whatever gender/sex/etc you are. you aren't any less of a straight man for being feminine. that's what the patriarchy wants. the rightwing hated so-called metrosexuals and goths and emos etc because of it. and you aren't any less of a straight woman for not being feminine. and you being masculine, or unfeminine, is the most natural thing in the world. it's just you being your natural self without makeup, shaving, tight clothes, etc. but some ofc find pride in being masc too. that doesn't make you more likely to be gay. it doesn't make you less womanly. there is no way that exists to make you less womanly bc it's the most neutral, irrelevant thing about you. it's a "duh!" type of thing that you don't need to care about. you don't need to do fuckall to be "good" at womanhood. and a dude can wear and do and say whatever he wants and be secure in being a guy and not being trans or gay or bi

masculinity in women doesn't make them more likely to be gay. femininity in men doesn't make them more likely to be gay.

gays & feminists have been trying to fight this shit for decades. yet mainstream qweer communities keep reinforcing that rhetoric!!! it's so fucking exhausting. there's no way to look, sound, act etc gay. there's literally none outside of saying you're into other men or other women, and being lovelydovey or having sex with other men or other women. that's it. that's literally it. free yourself from gender boxes!!!

[butchpeace]

I know we aren't supposed to pay attention to celebs but as a detrans lesbian it genuinely hurts seeing these high-profile daughters of celebs (some of whom are lesbians) transition and suddenly gain more fame because of it.

Like, when Cher's daughter came out a lesbian she (Cher) practically kicked her out the house. Now that she's a transgender man she's way more famous and their familial relationship is apparently all hunky-dory now (gee, I wonder why). Sting's (the singer) daughter Eliot came out as a masc/androgynous lesbian in 2015 but is now nonbinary, got top surgery, and is getting more acting roles. Sade released her first song in years about her 'trans son''... like, you couldn't have made a song about loving your daughter until now?

I know the more cynical among us will write these off as just attempts to get more attention from the media and go on about "nepo babies" or whatever but it's still painful yknow? The only thing I'm understanding from this is that being a lesbian woman - especially a non-hyperfeminine one - is never enough no matter how relatively privileged you are.

(Cher's case is especially damaging considering she treated her lesbian daughter like shit until she transitioned and yet she's viewed as a 'gay icon'. Goes to show that people don't care about lesbians I guess?)

100%. I hate seeing this shit, and I think you’re right. Being a masculine lesbian is never enough. It’s never going to be something that people admire and look up to in a patriarchal culture. We will never get the praise that any other demographic of people get, because we go against all of society’s rules.

Being trans or nonbinary is partially a way for these women and their families to feel noteworthy and special.

Or it’s a way to feel more accepted and understood within heteronormative society, like it was for me.

It bothers me when I see any parent getting clout for having a trans kid. So much virtue signaling.

[luxiomahariel]

another instance of transandrophobia is that trans men/mascs are disproportionally affected when seeking medical care

We asked respondents whether they postponed or did not try to get two types of health care: preventive care “like checkups” and necessary care “when sick or injured.” We found that many postponed care because they could not afford it and many postponed care because of discrimination and disrespect from providers.

Female-to-male transgender respondents reported postponing care due to discrimination and disrespect at a much higher frequency (42%, sick/injured; 48% preventive) than male-to-female transgender respondents (24%, sick/injured; 27% preventive). Those with the highest rates of postponing care when sick/injured included those who have lost a job due to bias (45%) and those who have done sex work, sold drugs, or done other work in the underground economy for income (45%). Twenty-nine percent (29%) of respondents who were “out” or “mostly out” to medical providers reported they had delayed care when ill and 33% postponed or avoided preventive care because of discrimination by providers.

African-American respondents had the worst health insurance coverage of any racial category: 39% reported private coverage and 30% public. Thirty-one percent (31%) of Black respondents reported being uninsured; by contrast 66% of white respondents reported private insurance, 17% public insurance and 17% uninsured.

when we talk about shit like this we NEED to be listened to and taken seriously:

and most importantly, we need to FIGHT FOR TRANS MEN/MASCS RIGHTS.

[genderqueerdykes]

i think that people forget that the transtrender thing from a few years ago predominantly effected and targeted transmascs. treating us like we were girls who just wanted to feel special. i honestly could not give you any examples off the top of my head of transfems being called trenders. im sure it must've happened at some point, but all of the "this is a normal trans person. and this is a WEEEIRRRRD TRENDERRRR who thinks that boys don't have to wear bras uwu i don't have to shave my legs :3 blue hair he/they/xe/it and if you don't use my one thousand neopronouns you're transphobic!!!!!!!!" stuff was so so so so obviously pointing towards transmascs.

and then we got out of it for a bit! things improved! transmascs started becoming comfortable with being gnc again! trans people in any direction started playing with neopronouns and mogai terms!

and now we're right back where we were before. not only that, but it feels so much worse. back then, i had enough confidence to puff my chest out and say "actually yeah! i wanna take pride in my neopronouns! i wanna dye my hair weird colors! i wanna have a billion neogenders! and if you don't like it, you can bite me!"

but now it isn't just attacking "surface level" things. it's attacking the very CONCEPT of being transmasc. i didn't have to seriously consider going back in the closet when the trender stuff started. but i have now. on multiple occasions. it's just so tiring. i have no idea how people think that trans men are somehow more privileged. it feels like we keep getting kicked down as soon as we find a new community to just exist in. im so fucking tired, man.

-TB

oh wow, true, i forgot about that. damn i haven't thought about that term in quite a while but you are very right. while i'm sure there were and are transfems affected by it, there's no denying that the bulk of the targets were explicitly transmascs and trans men. like, i'm almost certain the term was coined specifically to harass and misgender transmascs and trans men.

people have been erasing and being horrific to trans men and mascs for decades, they just keep changing hats and making up new terms. thank you for pointing this out, i really appreciate it. trans men are not inherently any more privileged than anyone else, especially if they're closeted, no transition, pre transiton/early transition, intersex, a person of color and so on. people just go out of their ways to punch laterally on trans men and mascs and it's so old. we don't have it better than any other type of trans person just because we are men and mascs. it doesn't make our lives any easier- it just gets harder after we come out. same as everyone else.

take care of yourself! thank you for sending this ask, i really appreciate you.

[gatorbites-imagines]

Hey hi, I am so normal. About bane. Please can you do some more headcanons about him and a trans masc partner? Some wholesome fluffy ones please?

Bane x FTM reader

Headcanons

A shorty, since I’ve already posted most of my headcanons for this in part 1 :3c

Read part 1 here

The huge size difference means cuddling with Bane can be challenging at times. By that I mean, he rolls over at night and completely smushes you at times. Hes also the default big spoon when you cuddle, since you hang on his back like a small backpack when you do it.

This also means you lay on top of him a lot, imagine almost the scene in my neighbor totoro, except Bane is carefully reading a book as you scroll on your phone.

The times where he gets to lay with his head on your chest he just melts when you cradle him. You can’t really run your fingers through his hair most days, but Bane would turn into a puddle if you rubbed the back of his neck and massaged the sore muscles there.

Knows a whole lot about massages, since most of his muscles get sore from everything he does. Expect Bane to know how to turn you into melted butter with that skill. He also appreciates it when you try to massage him back, even if your hands are strong enough most times.

He wears the mask pretty much all the time, even when he sleeps or hes in the shower. It always gets a good cackle out of you to see him in casual clothes, just walking around in his mask and some funny print t-shirt and a pair of heart boxers.

Wouldn’t care if you preferred to sleep with or without a shirt on, depending on your dysphoria, all that matters to him is your comfort. Would get you some for different weather though if you did.

The kinda guy to wear a pride pin if you a comfortable with that. Who needs cops at pride when you got Bane? The bats are also there, and most other rogues honestly, they’re all parts of the fruit basket.

Would beat up a transphobe as stated before, but would also do some kind of psychological warfare on them because he’s smart enough to do that. You very much harm his image as a big scary bad guy, since its so clear to everyone there that he’s actually a great guy outside of, you know, everything else.

You visit him in Arkham whenever he’s locked up, the guards know to expect you. They learned pretty quickly to treat you with respect, since the ones that didn’t ended up… missing. Bane is happy to sit and listen to you talk about the boring aspects of your day when you visit.

You’ve dealt with the bats enough for them to be on first name basis with you. If you are on testosterone and got them from Bane, then they’ll supply them when he’s locked up. They’d do it when he isn’t too, but Bane likes supplying them for you.

You’ve convinced the bats to wait before taking Bane back to Arkham so you guys can go on a date or just watch a movie together. And depending on what he’s done, they’re likely to let it happen, you two are getting observed the entire time though.

[velvetvexations]

y’know, when people are against the term “transandropbobia”, we aren’t saying trans men aren’t oppressed or don’t face transphobia. we’re just saying trans men are oppressed for being trans, not for being men. just saying. be careful who you suck up to, because some of these guys are transmisogynists who will gleefully use you as a token.

I have seen far too many queer people, including other AFAB trans people, saying the vilest 4chan-tier shit about trans mascs to believe they don't get heat for being trans mascs specifically. It's wrong anyway - yes, cis women also face misogyny, so trans women would be oppressed even if they weren't trans, but trans mascs face specific challenges just as deserving of their own label as trans fems deserve one separate from misogyny faced by cis women. It's so ridiculous to insist trans men shut up and just speak about their experiences in generalist terms to save the Special Unique Oppression for trans fems.

And I'm not sucking up to anyone. Trans mascs are not above me. If anything, all this does is make me feel like they're beneath me in the privilege hierarchy when the whole point of this discourse is that I should have it worse than anyone else in the whole world. And I would probably fucking agree with that if not for this shit. Like, on top of all the horrible things trans fems have to deal with I have a block on being able to process it whenever I remember trans mascs have half of their own community out for their blood for the sake of elevating me. It's as though you're trying as hard as you possibly can to give TERFs free ammo for explaining that being trans is just stealth patriarchy.

Trans mascs: I want you to use me as a token, frankly. If you feel inclined to point to me as a trans fem who agrees with you, PLEASE DO!