#like my actual response is what I want to happen on and feel is genuinely realistic for the show
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@fhfnejd @alwaysstreetsahead thank you for caring đ„șđđ„ here is part 2. Going more in depth.
I think the main reason why I'd struggle to be friends with everyone is because of the timing. The best way I could describe it is if you wanted to make friends with a stranger at a funeral. Like, you know you're never gonna see them ever again, but the timing to make friends is SO BAD.
I'd also like to add that I have like 0 social skills online and irl, so there's that. I overthink, get intimidated easily, and I always wonder if my friends are actually my friends. Like.. lukewarm friends aren't a consept to me. You're either a friend, or not.
First off, Luke:
I feel like he already has such a disconnect with everyone at camp except for Annabeth. He probably saw everyone as a duty or a responsibility. He'd probably be nice to me, as he was nice to pretty much everyone, even Percy. He literally stole stuff just for him. But I feel like I'd wonder if he'd see me as a friend, which probably wouldn't make me think we were. We could bond over parent stuff cuz duh, but then again, I don't think we'd be close so I wouldn't consider him a friend.
Next, Percy. He gives off not the energy I'd vibe with. He's.. mischievous? Trickster-y? Not necessarily a person I'd gravitate toward. I'd probably avoid him. But if I didn't avoid him, again, I'd probably feel bad for trying to comr up to him when he's mourning over the loss of his mom. Then of course after TLT he's like super popular and busy and stressed. I don't think I'd have the courage to walk up to someone like him. He's charismatic and charming. Not a person I'd feel comfortable yapping my interests to.
Annabeth: knowing Athena kids and their fatal flae of pride, I'd probably.. really dislike her? I'd feel threatened and unhappy. But again if I wanted to walk up to her, she's again super intimidating. She's an amazing strategist and fighter even before the og series. Like.. i know for a fact that I'd suck at everything demigodly, (despite the quiz saying im an athena kid, which NO I WANNA BE A HERMES KID, I AM NOT SMART) and i don't think Annabeth would want to be friends with me. She also just seems really cold. I feel like what would happen is that we'd meet at the arts and crafts area or library, and she'd either look very busy, or if I tried to talk to her, she would probably look uninterested and I'd overthing, causing me to ignore her forever (EVEN IF THE QUIZ SAYS SHE'S MY SISTER)
Jason: there are 2 ways we could go about this. Either im a roman camper or a greek camper. Let's start with roman
Roman- if I was a Roman camper, I assume I'd be put in the worst cohort. Perfect since Jason belongs there. BUT! Knowing his reputation, he'd probably really intimidate me. Like yeah, he tried his goddamn best to be down to earth, but I have the strange feeling that he'd be.. like Mai from ATLA? Just, trying his best to be down to earth and normal, but also walking a tightrope to use his power and influence to make things better. He has to be rigid and stiff for people to respect him enough to make changes. Like.. maybe I'd be friends with him, but I try really really hard to be friends with someone. This might cause him to think that I have bad intentions when in reality, im just insecure. He'd probably be friends with me, because I know I'd be like at the very bottom of the rank, but then again, i feel like I'd worry if our friendship was genuine.
Greek- If I was greek, I'd probably just seem him come into camp one day using the roman names of the gods. Which probably would put me off, but i don't think it would stop me from wanting to be friends with him. I just think that with him being all busy with the quest and stuff, that I'd have no time to get to know him and that I'd still probably be intimidated by him. If not by him, then I'd probably be scared of Piper hating me for wanting to be friends with him.
Piper: Knowing me, I'd probably try to make friends with Jason first. This could make her potentially dislike me. But if I didn't, I don't know if I'd have enough in common with her to be friends with her. Just thinking about her character, I don't know if she'd be willing to listen to be ramble about random things. It'd probably be like with Annabeth, where I try to talk to her, then I end up not knowing how to continue the conversation, and then overthink causing me to just completely avoid her.
Leo: I might actually become friends with Leo, assuming he isn't stuck in his cabin? Like.. he seems funny, and I know for a fact that I'd see through his facade cuz I RELATE BRO. Like, I may not know WHY, but I know we'd relate to each other. He seems charming enough for me to want to get to know him, but also not very cold or judgemental, which may make me inclined to talk to him. I just don't know if we'd have much of a friendship cuz duh, main characters have too interesting of lives and basically forget friendships with characters that aren't main characters. :(
Frank: Frank seems to be.. normal and approachable. Like.. he doesn't strike me as a person whp would judge me for being weird. And I feel like we'd relate to not associating with our godly parents. Like i took the quiz and got Athena, but i associate more with hermes. Because strategy n stuff, i suck at, but Luke in TLT described Hermes kids as jacks of all trades and masters of none, which feels perfect for me. Just like how Frank felt like he didn't fit in with the typical child of Mars stuff and preferred to be seen as a child of Apollo.
Hazel: She also seems like Frank, very sweet and nice and normal. She doesn't seem like she'd judge me. She might scare me a bit because she can be very strong, but hey, that just means that if she saw me feeling insecure about my friendship with her, she'd reassure me strongly.
Grover: I might become friends with Grover? The only thing is that I wonder if I'd feel secure. Because like.. what if he only became friends with me because of his job of being a protector?
Silena: I think I'd become friends with her. She just seems like a sweet person. All she wants to do is make things better. Especially with the Aphrodite rite of passage. She seems to be a good person who will do the right thing when it's needed.
Will: I don't know, because again, he has so many responsibilities. He'd probably intimidate the hell out of me. And the timing too! I could have made friends with him in like.. TTC? But.. I dunno.
Nico: HOW WOULD I MAKE FRIENDS WITH THIS GUY?? HE'D SCARE THE HELL OUT OF ME. Like.. there's a chance that I'd want to be friends with him. He's a loner, im a loner, it makes sense. But also.. i imagine him to just look constantly unhappy. I feel like I'd fear him getting angry at me. I'd probably try to talk to him about.. something? Maybe something nerdy if I snooped enough to know that about him? But I really don't know if he'd be willing to listen to me talk about Superman for 2 hours.
Reyna: Reyna is just like Jason. She's just.. so stiff and rigid. Like.. she just looks so intimidating. Assuming im a roman in this scenario, when she first gets to camp, she's probably already very skilled. I could have tried making friends with her, but then again, she was like Jason. A perfect candidate to be preator. Someone who is seen like that is very responsible, very put together. Aka, the perfect person to scare me away and make me feel self-conscious. I'd probably have a better chance making friends with Jason compared to Reyna.
Rachel: There's just no way. She's like.. a minor celebrity or something? Rich and powerful and an activist. I could very well have become friends with her talking about activism stuff, but she's also rich and well, she just seems like a person who'd make me insecure again.
Thalia: There is literally no time in which a regular camper could talk to Thalia. She gets revived then is sent on a mission to get Nico and Bianca. Then there's the whole quest in TTC then she becomes a hunter. WHERE IN THAT TIME AM I, A REGULAR CAMPER SUPPOSED TO TALK TO HER?? Also she's punk.. I feel like she'd scare me away. Like.. maybe I'd think really hard to talk to her. But then i feel like a convo with her might fizzle out and make me overthink again.
Is there anyone im missing? I really dunno if I should make a part 3 lol
#pjo fandom#percy jackson fandom#pjo hoo toa#heroes of olympus#rrverse#camp half blood#jason grace#leo valdez#percy jackson#annabeth chase#piper mclean#thalia grace#reyna avila ramirez arellano#reyna ramirez arellano#silena beauregard#nico di angelo#will solace#grover underwood#luke castellan#frank zhang#hazel levesque#rachel elizabeth dare#friends#if i was in a book#i have no social skills#i am sad because i know id never be friends with my comfort characters#camp jupiter
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Currently trying not to vomit over the fact that I essentially just lost almost a thousand dollars brb
#why me. why is it always fucking me am I just not allowed to have good things WHAT have I done to earn this kinda karma#my stupid fucking idiot roommate decided to resign the lease at the complex so I naturally contacted the landlords like hey. how does that#work with the security deposit cuz I paid that years before she even moved in do you guys need to come inspect the place after I leave#and they were like oh no âșïž it just carries over to her. and Iâm like. so. so even though I am not living here nor am on the lease#whether or not I get NINE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS BACK hinges on this JACKASS not wrecking the place???? actually not even then because say#she DOESNT wreck the place when she moves out TURNS OUT the deposit goes to her cuz itâs her name and account attached to the fucking#apartment and Iâm just left sitting here like how. how is that fucking fair how does that make fucking sense I have to trust that she doesnt#ruin the place OR GET FUCKING EVICTED BECAUSE SHE HAS NO JOB AND NO WAY TO PAY RENT and then also trust her to just give it to me when she#moves out. Iâm actually sick Iâm actually gonna fucking throw up and the landlords were like yes exactly âșïž perhaps you could work something#out with her and she could buy you out of it and Iâm just like. she doesnât have a job she still hasnât paid me for LAST months utilities#let alone this months do you HONESTLY THINK she is EVER going to pay me the 900 dollars Iâm fucking owed#and itâs like does this actually affect anything? no. I didnât budget with that money cuz I didnât actively have it and thatâs not smart but#likeâŠ. 900 dollarsâŠ.. I could have paid off the rest of my credit card with that and also itâs just infuriating that that money is basically#just being GIVEN to this fucking bitch who I KNOW is not gonna keep that apartment in good shape and thatâs again if she somehow doesnât get#her ass evicted cuz sheâs not paying bills why they even LET her sign her own lease there I do not understand she literally has no proof of#income but ig they probably didnât check that cuz she technically already lived there Iâm just so. Iâm so tired and Iâm so done can I PLEASE#stop being the one who constantly gets screwed fucking over in EVERY situation no matter fucking what#while all these fucking idiots and shitty fucking ppl get whatever they want and actively BENEFIT from me getting fucked over???? Iâm done.#Iâm so fucking done I am never living with someone ever again never being finanacially tied to anyone fucking again and you know what. thats#great goes well with me basically being convinced atp to never be vulnerable with anyone ever again and never trust anyone ever again and#never dedicate ANY part of my life in a genuine sense to anyone ever again I will be fucking alone in every sense for THE REST of my fucking#life and thatâs that. itâll be better. this kinda shit will stop happening. financially emotionally psychologically I will stop suffering#because holy fucking shit I canât do it anymore man Iâm sick of it Iâm sick of trying to be a good person and depend on people and be#vulnerable and always uphold my side of the responsibilities and arrangements just to get fucking spit on like man if this is what being a#shit person gets ppl maybe I should try because they sure seem to get all the benefits and whatever the hell they want consistently and#always while I try and be considerate of others and devote myselves to them and this is all I fucking get for it#and ik I KNOW this is just the straw on the camels back and this is a lot of issues compounding and itâs not even about the money atp#but Iâm just. Iâm so fucking sick and tired and beaten down and Iâm tired of trying I just want to be completely on my own#so at least if bad things happen or I feel like shit I only have myself to blame and itâs safer that way and Iâll have to stop feeling like#this and dealing with these types of things UGH
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me and the generic extra strong Tylenol and the pure rage in my system
#Every once in a while I think. Itâs not too bad home. Iâm over dramatic. Itâs not bad and it wonât be bad when I go home and never been bad#Then actually think and remember#I shouldnât have been hit as a small child. I thank god that my parents stopped that with me.#But also. I should have been taken seriously when I went To them with concerns and shouldnât have been brushed off.#But also to be a 14 something year old and to realize your parents arenât in love is a crushing feeling#Since that must have been when. 13-14. Appa passed. Pandemic times. Iâm sure my father. Since this would have been the last time I saw Appa#We went down to visit. Dad didnât go he had work. He sent us off. I remember sitting in the passenger seat by mom in driver#Dad praying for our safe travel and for him going in for a kiss and the moment of hesitation and unwant from my mother#And the awkward silence and the way everything seemed to just shift to the side#That was summer of 2019. My first time realizing my parents werenât both in love happened when I was 13-14.#I wouldnât wish that on anyone.#And going to college has me feeling so guilty. Like I fucking ditched my siblings? The kids I raised as a child myself?#(I had to go. I donât know if my scholarship would have held I donât know if my financial aid would have held. I couldnât have waited. )#(I would have likely done something bad to myself. Genuinely. If I werenât able to be here. If I had to stay. I wouldnât survive that.)#my siblings are fine. They have no responsibilities. My sister is manipulative. They will manage. They want me to get the education I need#They arenât going to have to use their own college money to pay to be able to eat because the parents wonât feed them for the summer#I went into college with at least a couple hundred less than I should have. Because I had to parent. I had to feed my siblings.#And I had to pay to fill the gas tank on my fatherâs gas eater truck. We couldnât be home because of the selling home situation.#I had to do something to get us out and to feed us but I didnât get paid back for anywhere near all of it#I donât regret it. But a kid shouldnât have to pay for them and their siblings to live.#But then I remember the dread I have for returning âhomeâ for the breaks. I donât know what Iâm going to do.#If I canât work all of the breaks then I either wonât be able to pay next semester#Or Iâll have almost no money in savings. Like nothing to my name. Canât buy gas. Canât do anything. Canât buy food.#Unless the next scholarship stuff Iâm doing pulls through. But Iâm willing to work the whole break just to get away from either house.#I want to violently shake my parents and get them to comprehend#Father you have dropped 260$ into my bank account in the last two weeks. Why could this not be earlier in the semester.#Why couldnât that be in the time and fashion you FUCKING PROMISED for helping me pay my schooling?#You have money to spare. Stupid. Why couldnât you help like you promised.#Mom you fucker. I get that you are kinda with a new man now. But youâre leading yourself into a relationship with a man you said yourself#You donât want to date because he wants to move away with his sister and because he hates it here
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wish i could relate to other lesbians my age but im borderline arospec and afraid of men
#like no i dont find men hot#sorry i actually am deeply afraid of them they send me into a trayma response đ#/not my friends but lol#like all i see is like lesbians being like âliking men doesnât invalidate ur lesbianismâ like true!!! i fucking wish i could be attractedo#to men like.#/nbh this is just an in general thing#like cool women r hot yesss đ„ đđ#but i wish i didnt want to die every time i see a guy on the streets or at school#wven when that doesnt happen i feel so genuinely uncomfortable around them#âits ur faultâ maybe i shouldnt have been fucming well. given trauma lets say that!!!!#like then idk i eant a gf but i also dont#im probably aroflux#AWESOME!!#slash sar#i want a gf but also im so mentally unstavle and i dont want one but i also do. hope this helps !#i just#i cant even relate to people IN MY OWN COMMUNTIY. like what#vent#arospec#bpd#chrissy !
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Hmmm I agree that Roy and Keeleyâs getting back together arc has been pushed back way too far for my taste (and I donât love how drawn out both of their individual arcs were), but I think thereâs still time for them to get back together in a fulfilling way. We have three episodes left- thatâs plenty of time for them to have that long awaited heart-to-heart where Roy finally explains why he broke up with her, then time for them to rekindle their friendship, and eventually tentatively start things up again. There probably isnât time left for them to work their way back to exactly where they were before, but I could totally see them agreeing to try again in the finale. And since itâs probably the last season, I wouldnât be surprised if thereâs a flash forward a few years later and theyâre engaged or smth.
Iâll be honest, I havenât cared much for Keeleyâs arc this season either. I donât care about the KJPR storyline â itâs boring since its all new characters, and Keeley doesnât seem like she knows or cares about what sheâs doing. It feels like theyâre aiming for an arc where Keeley realizes that progress isnât always about moving forward. Itâs obvious that she does not fit into the corporate world, nor does she want to, and that sheâd be much happier coming back to Richmond. And I bet thatâs how Roy will tie into it: just bc you can move on, doesnât mean itâll make you happier. And I do really feel that the best ending for Royâs arc about learning to let himself be happy is by actually letting himself be happy with Keeley again. Anyway I have faith that the writers love Roy and Keeley as much as the fans do, and that whatever way they decide to end will be the perfect ending.
Ohh I really love your take on Keeley's arc and what they're trying to show with it and I really hope you're right. Even if it's not solely coming back to Richmond, but coming back while continuing to take on a couple additional clients freelance, or branching off with Barb to start something smaller, just generally taking it slow instead of leaping in to being CEO of a whole PR firm like she's done this season. Building her confidence surrounded by people who love and support her and whom she actually has time to see because she's no longer making work her entire life.
Roy's arc I think has been building up to him allowing happiness into his life in more ways than just Keeley. I think it will be a number of things for him: finally having a reckoning with her over the breakup, but also gathering up with the Diamond Dogs as an actual member, admitting he cares about Jamie Tartt, taking on a larger role as coach (perhaps by doing more of the pressers, we saw how good he was at it tonight, especially if Ted goes back to Kansas)... going to therapy (**hoping, kicking, screeching, praying**)....
You may yet be right about Roy/Keeley! Before the season began, I had zero doubts in my mind they were endgame. Also, I forget sometimes that between a lot of these episodes, we're meant to believe like...actual months have gone by, so it's more spread out than I'm thinking it is. However, it's also that the show has a lot they need to wrap up in three episodes if this is the end of the end, & Roy and Keeley are only one part of it.
I think, ultimately, I care way more about their individual arcs ending well in a way that is both satisfying and sensical than I do about them getting back together in the canon timeline. I absolutely do need them to end on good terms though, preferably at least as close friends.
What I want more than anything and still believe is in the realm of possibility is for them + Jamie to sit down and admit they are all caught up in each other irreversibly at this point and won't be shaken away easily. That they care deeply about one another and will most likely care forever (terms & conditions undefined).
#i really hope they don't do a sunshine and roses flash forward though because I HATE those lol#i want room to breathe in my future fanfics not a flash forward I probably won't agree with to add to my list of fix its tbh#(note also I'm biased because I'm not a roy keeley truther here I'm a roy keeley jamie truther)#like my actual response is what I want to happen on and feel is genuinely realistic for the show#but in the tags I'll just say that when it comes to shippery business. I'm a royjamiekeeley all the way.#and even that said I don't think any of them should be together NOW. that's a theoretical s4 arc for me.#(but yeah naturally i don't care about a roykeeley engagement)#ted lasso#roy kent#keeley jones#roykeeley#ted lasso spoilers#asks#long post
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i whole heartedly had the maternal aunt awakening for the kids. LIKE FROM THE FIRST SCENE WHERE THEY SAID FAMILY MAN TRAITOR AND WENT BACK YO GO HSUHSUHSUSHUS SHUSHSUSHSU IN THE CORNER!!!!! I JUMPED AND GIGGLED LIKE A MANIC AS IF I KNOW SHIT BRO đŠ?
I LOVE!!!!! I LOVE!!!!!!! I REPEAT !!!!! I LOVE THE KIDS (and their dad but anyways)
i ahve a lot of thoughst and lets jot it down in the tags muehehehhehe (aw hell naw man tumblr ate my fav tag : is doctor hwa single. or rich momma sophie? help a med kid out!!!!) ALSO ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE CONTRIBUTION TO ATEEZ FIC COMMUNITY WE CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE YAY!!!
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the parent trap | KHJ
part 1 of the Night in Hollywood!series
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â trope: exes to lovers!au, divorced!au
â pairing: producer!hongjoong x designer!reader, dad!joong x mom!reader
â warnings: nsfw (mdni), swearing, mentions of food, mentions of food poisoning, female desc. reader, drinking, suggestiveness, smut, slight!breeding kink, oral sex (f. receiving), overstim, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap!) nipple play, titty sucking, marking, praise, slightdom!joong, blond!joong bc that itself is too much for me, mentions of (early) pregnancy, youâre both in your early thirties and make an unbelievably stubborn couple in this!
â synopsis: AS DIVORCED PARENTS to two twin daughters, you and hongjoong have your fair share of work cut out. Driving to piano lessons, cheering at hockey games, drop offs at each otherâs houses, it can all be a little much. But could a relaxing summer retreat as a whole family possibly rekindle past emotions youâve swept under the rug? . . .
â word count: 18.1k
â playlist: soulful strut by young-holt unlimited, l-o-v-e by nat king cole, just the way you are by billy joel, slipping through my fingers by abba, this will be (an everlasting love) by natalie cole
â a/n: itâs finally here. I canât believe Iâm writing this and saying itâs finally here oh my goodness. first off, thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has supported me with the series so far (shoutout to @kitten4sannie , @byuntrash101 and especially @desirehorizon for being amazing!) everyoneâs sweet comments have been greatly appreciated, and I just hope this silly little fic brings a smile to your everyday lives.
ty for making writing worth it as a writer. now cue the opening credits!
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âABSOLUTELY NOTâ Hongjoong says.
âBut dadd,â she whines, clutching the wrinkled pamphlet closer to her chest. Eunseoâs small hands are covered in purple doodles her sister drew using a glitter pen.Â
âWhy not?â the girl complains, shrugging her shoulders.Â
He sighs, pushing his glasses up with one hand as he continues typing away at the important document the producing company sent him on his laptop. He tries his best to reason with the child.
âBecause, babyâŠâ pausing to think for a moment before responding. âIt would be hard for your mom and I to find a time that fits into our schedules. Iâve got work, and she must be busy as well.âÂ
Eunseo glares at her fatherâs excuse.Â
Okay, yeah, the man knows itâs somewhat of a lie, himself.Â
She continues to protest by shoving the advertising pamphlet in her dads face and blocking his view of the screen. Thankfully, Hongjoong is used to these sort of work distractions, expertly avoiding her by craning his neck sideways and continuing to type away.
âBut dad, itâs an amazing cottage resort! Theyâve got a lake where you can go swimming in, a forest hiking trail, a bonfire to roast marshmallows and even a diner less than fifteen minutes away! So if you end up burning the camp food like last time, we can just order and eat in! Isnât that great?â She beams.Â
He stops typing for a second, fingers hovering over the keyboard as he gives his first born a look that makes her immediately break into a sweet smile, batting her lashes and flashing him a look of innocence.Â
âPlease?â She begs, standing on the edge of her feet as she gazes up at him. âThe last time we went was when Eunbyul and me were toddlers.âÂ
And how on earth could any dadâs heart not melt at the sight of his daughter trying to convince him about one harmless vacation?Â
Hongjoong wheels his office chair back, turning so he could look her in the eyes properly and tuck a stray hair behind her ear.Â
âListen honey, Iâm sorry, I really wish I could, butâŠâ he trails off, looking back at the open tabs and file documents displayed on his computer.
Turning his head around and upon seeing a frown form on his daughter's face, he quickly reassures her.Â
âOnce you finish your final piano recital tomorrow and your mom picks your sister up to take her to her hockey game, how about we go fishing the weekend afterwards?â he suggests, brows raising. âThatâll mean I have just the two of you all to myself.â
Eunseo mumbles under her breath, quiet but insistent enough that he catches it.Â
âBut weâre supposed to be a family of four.âÂ
She sulks, thinking of how that would leave you, her mother, left out of their plans. The arms holding the pamphlet up, ultimately fall down in defeat.Â
He places a peck on her forehead, patting her on the back. âYou know, if you can get your mom to say yes, then Iâll think about itâ he chuckles, knowing the highly unlikely probability of the event.
Adjusting his glasses, the producer goes back to his work, peeking his daughter slugging away from the corner of his eye.Â
Eunseo slumps her shoulders in defeat as she walks out of her dads office, turning the corner to see her twin sister, Eunbyeol, pressing her ears near the door with her neck outstretched. Clearly sheâs been caught in the middle of trying to overhear their conversation.Â
The twin younger by fifteen seconds quickly rushes over, waiting expectantly.
âSo? What did dad say?â
Eunseo exhales, throwing the information pamphlet away on the wooden floors and slumping against the living room couch.Â
âHeâs totally not buggin. Said he wants to take us fishing next weekend instead. Just us three.â she grumbles.Â
Eunbyeol scrunches her nose at the idea.Â
âBut dad sucks at fishing.â
Her sister groans, kicking her small feet against the couch in frustration. âI know!â Eunbyeol starts to worry, coming to sit beside her.
âThen how on earth are we going to get mom and dad to get back with each other again? They havenât been in the same room since we were like, five!â
Her twin sister scoffs, âFirst, we gotta get them to have a proper conversation with each other. They barely even talk when they drop us off at each other's houses.â
Nobody truly knows why you and Hongjoong had divorced so suddenly when the girls were young. Not even themselves.
All they were used to were cold stares and one word replies shared amongst their parents, refusing to find harmony in their co-parenting.
Frankly, your girls have had enough of the performance you were both trying to maintain, looking past your expressions to realize you and your husband still held feelings for the other. It was only a matter of time and place in order to set you two up together, thus, the idea of an intimate, family getaway came into their minds.Â
After a few moments of letting her words hang in the air, Eunbyeolâs eyes widened to the size of saucers.Â
âThatâs it!â
The older twin looks up quizzically, watching her sister jump off the couch and gaze at her excitedly.Â
âWeâll just have to force them to meet each other! We can always guilt trip them for dropping us off at their houses and making us play alone!â
Eunseo rolls her eyes at the idea. âRight, and how are we going to do that dummy? The only reason theyâd do that, was if it was an emergency.â
Whoever said twin telepathy wasnât a thing was a liar, because the second Eunseo catches onto what her sister is saying, the twins share a look of pure mischievousness, the gears in their brains working together as one.Â
With hushed whispers and quiet giggles, the twins immediately begin conducting their plan in secrecy near the corner of the living room, backs turned and in the middle of discussion when Hongjoong walks out of his office with an empty coffee mug.Â
âWhat are you guys doing over there?â
âLeave us alone! Family man traitor!â Eunbyeol shouts, holding a slightly hostile grudge to her father before turning back to whisper to her twin.Â
Hongjoong shakes his head, sighing as he heads into the kitchen.Â
âThen itâs perfect! Iâll stay here with dad once my piano recital is over, and then when Mom picks you up for your hockey game tomorrow, weâll try convincing them together!â
Eunbyeol nods her head in agreement, eyes lighting up with excitement as she whispers in a hushed tone.Â
âAnd once both events end, weâll pretend to be so sick that they have to take us to the nearby hospital.â
The other twin smirks. âWhere weâll end up guilt tripping them into taking us to the cottage.â
They double high five in victory at their flawless plan, already waiting for tomorrow to come as soon as possible.
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âA summer cottage?â you repeated, brows raising at the idea as you made a left turn onto your street.Â
Eunbyeol nods eagerly from the back seat after getting picked up, having ranted on and on about the ad in the pamphlet since the moment you saw her.
âIt's an amazing establishment mom,â She boasts, making you laugh at her words while parking the car and unbuckling your seatbelt.
âThey have everything you could possibly think of!â
âOh, really?â You say skeptically, opening the door for her.Â
Eunbyeol is lost in the middle of passionately describing all the relaxing activities you could do by yourself, or rather per se, with a special partner together.Â
âThereâs couples hiking retreats, couples canoeing, couples yoga⊠did I mention couples hiking retreats?â She confuses, retracing her words.Â
You roll your eyes and smile, keys jangling as you walk through the entrance of your apartment flat while balancing the bags and items in your hands.
Being a wedding dress designer and yet picking up your daughter from your ex-husband's house couldâve been ironic to some people. But after having split with Hongjoong since the girls were so young, you came to grow fond of having some independence as a divorcee, channeling your main focus into setting up your own bridal shop downtown.
It was through that hard work and focus that you did it all by yourself with no additional help.
Youâd be lying if you said you haven't opened a bottle of red wine some nights due to loneliness as a divorced single mother, but at least that was what you had your daughters for.
You made sure to work just as hard as you did enjoy playing and spending time with them. After all, they were the light of your life and purpose for living.
Balancing the pizza you picked up on the way home, you set it down on the kitchen island, telling Eunbyeol to go wash her hands in the sink. The girl doesnât stop ranting.
âThereâs usually only two rooms in the cottage, so youâll have to sleep together with dad, but I guess you won't mind, would you? After all, you were once marriedâ She rolls her eyes, reaching for the soap.
You shake your head with a sigh. âWhat is up with you and getting me and your father together in the same room?â you muttered as you took out the plates and utensils.Â
Eunbyeol eventually walks back to you, wiping her hands on her baggy jeans before sitting on the kitchen stool.Â
âItâs not that Iâm obsessed, Mom. Actually, Eunseo and I are just dying to get away this summer now that school is over.â
Turning around from plating the pizza and salad, you chastise your daughter, telling her to sit with her bum flat on the stool so she doesnât fall. She immediately listens, carrying on with her persuasion.Â
âWe just want you and dad to get the chance to relax as well, thatâs all!â her mouth full from a bite of hot, greasy pizza.Â
You smile, wiping your washed hands on the kitchen towel and coming over to wrap your arms around her affectionately.Â
âSpending time with you and Eunseo every week is how I relax,â you assured her, smothering your baby with kisses on her cheek.
Byeol lets out a squeal of annoyance, taking another bite of her pizza. âYouâre squishing me!â She tries hiding her smile, failing when you lean in closer.Â
You pull back in laughter, ruffling her hair as you walk away while reminding her.
âOh! Donât forget youâve got your hockey game tonight!â
Byeol chews faster, munching on the soft crust and counting down the hours on the kitchen clock.Â
She smiles to herself.Â
âDonât worry, I know!â
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âWhat do you mean you need to go to the hospital?â Hongjoong asks in a worried voice, standing against the womenâs washroom stall. He holds Eunseoâs congratulatory flower bouquet for first place in hand, feeling the stares of multiple women passing by, clearly judging him for being in the ladies room with them.Â
âHoney, is everything all right?â He asks worriedly. A string of groans come from behind the door.
âYou need to leave!â one old lady thrusts her walking cane at the father, lips pursed in dissatisfaction.Â
Eunseo did such a phenomenal job tonight for her piano recital, that Hongjoong was shocked to see his daughter clutch her stomach first thing after running down the steps of the stage, dashing to the washrooms.
He whips his head back. âMy daughterâs having a bit of a situation in here, okay miss? Have a bit of understanding!â He barks frustratedly out loud to the onlookers before speaking softly back to the stall door.Â
âEunseo, baby, talk to me, is everything alright in there? Are you sure you need to go to the hospital? Is it that bad?âÂ
The girl continues her acting performance, letting out fake groans while typing furiously on her cellphone.Â
âOh the pain! I think I might have food poisoning, dad!â
Seolie: How far along are u
Byeolie: Momâs outside, banging to come in.Â
Seolie: same, I told dad I needed to go to the hospital.
Eunseo lets out another groan of pain, causing Hongjoong to worry even more.Â
âThatâs it, Eunseo. Let me in and help youâ he decides, searching his bag for a painkiller or at least some sort of medication for relief.Â
The girl frantically checks her phone, eyes lighting up at the new message.Â
Byeolie: Momâs getting the car to take me to the hospital. Iâve got her convinced to call dad soon.
Eunseo types as fast as her small fingers can move, even faster than when she performed her piano solo from before.Â
Seolie: Then what do I do????
Hongjoong gets slightly suspicious at the lack of sound coming from the stall, calling to his daughter again.
âEunseo? Everything alright?â
At the next notification, the girl makes up her mind, getting the signal from her sister.Â
Byeolie: play dead. Mom calling soon. See ya there.
The actress gets into character, gaining her composure before unlocking the washroom stall and holding her stomach as she stumbles into her dadâs surprised arms.Â
âEunseo!â
She wails, falling limp. âOh, dad! Please! Take me to the hospital, it hurts too much!â
Itâs truly a mystery which parent she got her acting skills from.
But she doesnât have to tell him twice at that point. The man is already piggy backing his fainted daughter and sprinting out of the ladies washroom, reassuring her with soothing comments as he makes a beeline for the parking lot.
âStay with me baby!â He huffs, unbeknownst to Eunseo who peeks one eye open.Â
Only after he straps his daughter in the backseat and is turning on the engine does he receive a sudden phone call from you, pressing the speaker for the whole car to hear your panicked voice. You break the news to him first.Â
âEunbyeolâs severely sick. She fainted right after her hockey game.â
Hongjoongâs eyes widened. âWhat?â
You sighed, running a hand through your hair. âShe was holding her stomach saying she ate something wrong. Is Eunseo okay?âÂ
Hongjoong puts the stick into drive, backing out of the parking lot and replying in a hurry.
âSheâs hit with the same thing right now. Iâll meet you at the Hospital in tenâ he grunts, sweat forming on his brow as he speeds through traffic, not caring if he gets a ticket.Â
Had he looked in his rear view mirror, he would have seen Eunseo sagging near the car door, clutching her stomach with a small grin on her face.
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You never liked the hospital.Â
The sounds of babies crying and hospital beds wheeling become the background noise, shifting nervously in your seat that was in the emergency pediatrics unit waiting area.Â
Hongjoong has his eyebrows furrowed, hunched over one seat beside you as he hangs his head in his hands, knees bouncing up and down. A middle aged nurse nasally calls on the next family waiting from the front desk, boredom laced in her voice.Â
You sigh, uncrossing your legs and choosing to bite at the fingernail on your right hand once realizing youâve already done the same to all the ones on your left.Â
âItâs all my fault.â Hongjoong confesses, suddenly sitting still.Â
You glance to your left, watching as he sits up slowly.Â
âLast thing they ate together wouldâve been at my house. I probably made them sick with something I fed them,â he dejects, hanging his head down in shame.Â
âItâs all my fault, god Iâm so stupid!â He beats himself up.Â
You have half the mind to snap at your ex-husband, anger already filling up inside you earlier when you heard Eunbyeol suggest it was something she ate at her dadâs house. You really did want to yell at him for being so bad of a chef that he sent his own daughters to the emergency pediatrics unit, undeniably relieved that Seonghwa was working tonightâs shift.Â
But those cruel words sitting on the tip of your tongue are thrown away when you glance down to see your ex-husband missing a shoe on one of his feet.Â
Hongjoong rushed over here so fast with Eunseo that he left his shoe behind like some sort of fairytale, Cinderella. He hasnât even realized he wasnât wearing one right now.
You exhaled, knowing that if there's one thing youâve learned while parenting, it was that to have patience and understanding was a virtue. Even for your ex-husband.
âItâs not your fault,â you sighed, staring at your hands folded in your lap.Â
It feels awkward when Hongjoong stops tugging at his blond locks to look at you in surprise, continuing to speak as you place a gentle hand on his thigh.Â
âThat couldâve happened to anyone. We donât know yet if it was because of the food. Letâs just pray and wait and seeâ your voice being a sign of reliability to him.Â
The man is a little shocked at your supportive nature to tell you truthfully. He delivers all the things he needs to say through his grateful gaze alone, reciprocating a small smile.Â
âDidnât think Iâd see you guys tonight.â Seonghwa chuckles, walking in before Hongjoong has the chance to reply. He comes from the patient's room wearing his dashing, white doctor's coat. âTogether, at thatâ he mumbles under his breath before looking up and flashing you a polite smile while giving his worried friend a soft pat on the back.
Hongjoong holds his breath when he asks: âHow are they?â
âBetter,â he tells him, flipping through some papers on his clipboard. âBut it was a big shock to their bodies. They need some rest at the moment.âÂ
The pediatrician tries not to show his smile, standing in front of you and Hongjoong while hiding his expression behind his clipboard as per his nieceâs request.
To be fair, if someone had told Seonghwa earlier that evening that he would receive a fifteen minute pep talk from his best friend's twin daughters that day in the emergency unit, he wouldâve laughed in their faces.Â
Alas, life was always filled with surprises. Hereâs what went down thirty minutes earlier in the hospital room:
âWeâre trying to get them back together,â Eunseo announced confidently, sitting next to her sister on the hospital bed.Â
Eunbyeol nodded, eyeing the dumbfounded medical professional standing in front of them with his clipboard tucked under his arm, hands in his pockets.Â
âSo.. you guys donât need an IV drip?â
âItâs this whole entire thing, Uncle Hwa, weâll explain to you later.â
It took a minute before Seonghwa reclaimed his composure as an adult, chastising the twins for pulling a false alarm over something like this. He made sure to make them promise him they wouldnât do something stupid like this again. But after that, of course Seonghwa is immediately pairing to help them with their plan on getting his best friend back together with his ex-wife. The man is just tired of watching Hongjoong beat himself up half the time about missing you.Â
âSo you essentially want me to lie about the fact that you guys donât have food poisoning, and were just faking this whole thing so your mom and dad would have a reason to see each other.âÂ
The twins nod, one of them pointing out. âAnd make sure to tell them weâre fine of course. Maybe throw in weâre like, really sick, but that weâll live so itâs best if we get rest.â
âAt like a cottage or somethingâ the other chimes in, wiggling her eyebrows at the hint.Â
The doctor sighs, scratching his neck sheepishly.Â
When Seonghwa leads you and Hongjoong into the hospital room, both of you feel awful seeing your babies laying in their beds, dressed in the childrenâs gowns.Â
Eunbyeol peeks open her eyes first, voice hoarse (she practiced).Â
âMom? Dad? Is that you?â she groans, pretending to clutch her stomach in pain.Â
Both you and Hongjoong rush to each child, grasping their hands and stroking their heads softly with sympathy.Â
âHey baby, Iâm hereâ you coo.
âIâm so, so sorry girls, it was probably all my fault. I shouldâve never cooked for you guys earlier today.â their dad cries out painfully, looking down in shame.
You come to stand beside him, reassuring them both. âBut whatâs important is that you guys get better now. We want to make sure you get the rest you needâ you say, making eye contact with your ex-husband.Â
Seonghwa clears his throat, crossing his arms as he flashes a wink to the girls behind your backs.Â
âThey seemed to have been mentally exhausted as well,â He asks on purpose, watching as you and Hongjoong share a look with each other. âHave they been receiving proper familial support at home?âÂ
âI canât even remember the last time I saw my parents in the same room together.â Eunseo weakly admits, showing a faint smile.Â
As parents, you and Joong feel the most amount of guilt anyone could ever feel. You realize how exhausting and stressful the pickups and drop offs to each other's houses couldâve been, especially when you two were so busy with your respective jobs to spend time with your daughters now that it was summer break for them.Â
Hongjoong smiles, holding both their hands and making a promise to them.Â
âMake sure to rest you two. Tell me, is there anything you guys need right now? Anything you guys want I'll make sure to get it for you.â
âDo you guys have crunchy ice?â Eunbyeol blurts out loud, breaking her weak facade.Â
Eunseo almost wants to shoot a glare at her sister but she realizes both of you are still looking at them.Â
âI can get you some ice!â Seonghwa quickly assures you and his nieces, mouthing to them good luck for support as he shuts the door behind him.Â
You sigh, coming over to stroke Eunseoâs hair and caress Eunbyeolâs hand.Â
âWell? Is there anything else you guys need from us?â Hongjoong states, eyes soft in sympathy. You nod, waiting to hear their response.
âLet us know girls, anything at all.â
Eunbyeol and Eunseo finally take their chance, sharing a hesitant look before speaking at the same time.Â
âWe want to go to the cottageâ
âTogether,â Eunseo says.
âAs a family.â Eunbyeol adds in.
You and Hongjoong share a silent look.Â
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Later into the night, the twins are finally discharged from the hospital, deciding that they would stay at Hongjoongâs mothers apartment which was closest nearby, considering they were both tired and immediately needed a place to rest.Â
The car ride home is awkwardly silent, even as the kids are (what you think) to be fast asleep, hockey gear and a bouquet of flowers riding with them in the backseat.
It was at their request for you to drive them to their grandmother's house, wanting both their parents with them till the ride home. Hongjoong settled on driving your car and dropping all of you off, planning to take a taxi back home and pick up his own car in the morning. Despite your protest on how inconvenient that was, he insisted as he didnât want to disappoint the twins.
But suddenly the man begins to regret his offer, currently driving in complete silence on the highway, eyes facing forward and shoulders tense. Quiet FM nightly jazz plays from the radio.Â
Youâre sitting passenger seat up front with him in what feels like forever, looking solely at the reflections in the window, the street lamp lights scattering across your face as you travel through the nighttime traffic. Itâs awkward being together like this.
You hear him clear his voice, speaking softly so he doesnât wake up the girls.
âSo, are we really considering that cottage retreat?â he glances back at you.Â
You sit up, straightening your back and exhaling as you secretly wanted to have avoided that topic of discussion.
âWe canât Hongjoong,â you reasoned, shaking your head. âI couldnât possibly take a whole vacation from the dress shop. Not unless I had someone take care of it for me, which my staff probably arenât ready to do.â you explained, voice tense.
Hongjoong nodded, understanding your point of view. âI realize that. Iâve got a few projects I have to record and demo with Eden.â he tells you, an arm placed on the wheel with his sleeve rolled up. His veins become perfectly outlined as he passionately tells you about his producing job.
Heâs so hot like that.
Jesus what were you thinking? Cursing your mind as you clear your voice and try to change the topic.
âHowâs everything been going then?â you say stiffly. He nods, still awkward with sharing conversation with you.Â
âUm, it's going good. You?â he asks. Â
âFine.â you swallow.Â
Silence prevails. Heâs first to speak again, building the courage to say the next thing in his mind.Â
âIâm willing to put things on hold if I need to.â He confesses.Â
Hongjoong continues to drive normally after having said that. Now it becomes your turn to stare at him now, watching how he glances at the side mirror, switching lanes swiftly like the pro-driver he was.Â
âWhat do you mean?â
âHonestly, I think it would be good for the girls,â he admits, calling you by your name. Even hearing him call you your name feels weird. It feels foreign, like it almost wasnât yours.Â
âHongjoong-â you warn, shaking your head at the warry possibility.Â
âJust hear me out, alright?â He states firmly, making you quiet.Â
He glances back into the rear view mirror, watching your girls peacefully asleep with their heads leaning against each other.Â
âItâs been almost seven years. Seven years since theyâve last seen their parents speak to each other without breaking into a fight. Tonight was the first time they saw us together without having to plan a drop off and pick up in god knows how long.â
Hongjoong licks his lips, gripping the wheel as he emphasizes. âSeven years since theyâve gotten a goodnight hug and kiss from us at the same time in one place.â
You scoff, turning to face him properly this time. âI donât know why youâre acting as though we can make this request of theirs come true Hongjoong. This is a big deal-â
âIt is a big deal!â he exclaims, trying to get his point across. âI can see how badly our daughters want us to both be in their lives more, to acknowledge the fact that the other still exists after splitting apart.â
He sighs. âUs, not acknowledging each otherâs existence at all is worse than if we had to see each other regularly.â
You bite your lip, getting angry. âSo what Hongjoong? Youâre saying you want to suddenly play family with them at the cottage?â
You shrug your shoulders. âDo you really think we can pretend to be normal parents to them without fighting like we are now? Thereâs a reason why our current schedules work. Donât make me seem like the bad guy for not wanting to take them.â You glared, pointing a finger at him. His jaw locks.Â
âYou fully knew the lifestyle changes we would need to make as a couple when you signed those legal papersââ
âWell then did you also predict everything that happened after you brought me those papers?â He spits like venom, gaze hard as he clenches the wheel.
You blink your eyes at his words, pressing your knees together at his sudden attack.Â
You donât remember clearly if you even meant what you said at the time when you threw those papers at him seven years ago. But all you still know is that Hongjoong was just as stubborn as you were, making up his mind to sign them in the end regardless.
Looking in the rear view mirror, you muttered to him quietly.Â
âDonât raise your voice. The kids are sleeping.â
Their dad scoffs, muttering a sure, under his breath as he switches lanes.Â
The kids were in fact, not sleeping, and very much awake. Eyes closed but ears wide, as they were listening in to the first real discussion their parents were having in so long. Or perhaps it was an argument?
At the right turn into his motherâs apartmentâs underground parking lot, Hongjoong shuts off the engine, getting out of the car without another word and shutting the door in your face.Â
You pinched the bridge of your nose, hear the back door open.Â
You watch in the corner of your vision as his demeanor immediately changes, softly caressing Eunseo and Eunbyeolâs hair.Â
âHey girls, weâre here now. You gotta wake up.â He coos.
They yawn theatrically, pretending to stretch their arms.Â
âSo soon?â Eunbyeol mumbles.
A few feet ahead, you see your mother in law walking out from the elevators, a knit cardigan wrapped around her small frame. You smiled, getting out of the car and greeting her first.Â
âWeâll leave Eunbyeolâs hockey gear with you for the night if thatâs alright Mom-âÂ
Hongjoongâs words are cut off as the woman who birthed him walks straight past him, ignoring him and immediately taking you in her warm embrace, eyes forming crescent moons.Â
âHow are you my dear?â she asks, causing you to smile and hug your mother in law affectionately. âItâs been so long, Iâve missed you so much!â
Despite the break up between you and Hongjoong, you were thankful for one thing, and that was the fact that your relationship with Hongjoongâs family stayed strong, especially with Mrs. Kim.
âIâve missed you tooâ you tell her genuinely. âIâve been good, Iâm just sorry for dropping them off so suddenly at your place,â You say, feeling apologetic for waking her up late into the night.Â
âWe had a bit of a situation,â you explain, watching as Hongjoong collects their things.Â
She shakes her head, reassuring you. âNonsense! Why would you be sorry for that.â she grins, turning her head at the car. âAnd where are my girls, may I ask?â
At the sound of her voice, Eunbyeol and Eunseo dash out from the back seat and into their grandmother's welcoming arms, pressing soft kisses to her cheeks.
Hongjoong is the only person that stands all alone, awkwardly holding the bouquet of flowers with heavy hockey gear and a duffle bag perched on his shoulder.Â
âOh, how Iâve missed my little squirrels!â she exclaims using their signature pet name and happily reuniting with her grandchildren.Â
She turns her head, face falling at the sight of her son and lips pursing into a frown.Â
âAnd where on earth have you been? Not giving me a call!â she snaps, slapping her son on his back. Eunbyeol laughs out loud while Eunseo tries to keep her giggles in.Â
You hear your ex husband protest to her while you close the back seat door.Â
âOW! Iâve been busy alright?â he mumbles, massaging his sore arm.Â
Your mother in law takes both the twins handâs on each side, nodding her head to you.Â
âLeave all the kidâs stuff to Hongjoong, heâll take care of it darlingâ she smiles sweetly, sending a glare to her son to take a hint and be more of a gentleman to you. She walks away with her smiling granddaughters, exchanging light-hearted giggles and excitement. âBye, mom!â The twins wave back.Â
Hongjoong cranes his head up, sighing at the ceiling before taking Eunseoâs piano bag that you were holding in your hand in one swift motion, walking reluctantly behind the three.Â
âStay here. Iâll drop them off.â he briskly walks away, leaving you stunned.Â
Hongjoongs words from before canât help but replay inside your head as you wait for him to come back down.Â
Before you guessed it, it was already the ride back home, and the car was painfully silent once again. In reality, you were each thinking deeply to yourselves about the possibility of the cottage retreat. Could you really be a mom and dad together as a couple to your kids?
âAre you giving your plants enough water?â He brings you out of thought, the car slowing down as he turns onto your street.Â
You look up, giving him a confused look.Â
Hongjoong nods in direction, following his eyes to look at the measly, dying flower pot perched on the steps of your flatâs entrance as the car stopped to a halt. âYou know, itâs really hard for plants to die when theyâre outside.â He says in amazement at your shit gardening.Â
You scowl at him, asking him when he became such a plant expert all of a sudden.Â
He continues to poke fun at you, smirking when he undoes his seat belt. Hongjoong suddenly leans over to help you unbuckle your own, face dangerously close to yours as he lowers his voice.Â
âUnless their owner just really sucks at taking care of them.âÂ
His eyes gaze into yours for a split second, feeling your face heat up from the proximity. You let out a tiny gasp for air when he leans back in his own seat.Â
âFuck offâ you replied harshly.Â
âYou should give them some more care,â he suggests, ignoring your swearing.Â
You donât reply to his stupid comment, refusing to look at him as you get out of the car.Â
âI can go in by myselfâ you press, adjusting the strap of your purse on your shoulder. You didnât think it was necessary to draw out your time with this man any further.
Hongjoong straightens his dress shirt as he moves to your side of the car, shoving his own car keys in his trousers as he locks your doors and hands over the keys. You take them hesitantly, watching as he rests against the car door, strong arms crossing against his chest.Â
âThink about it at least.â he mutters to you.Â
You look at him, eyes shutting softly when you realize he was still talking about the cottage getaway. Sighing his name is exasperation, you run a hand through your hair.Â
âHongjoong-â
âWould it kill you to spend a week with me and our daughters?â He scoffs as he asks you straight up, looking at you in a way that makes you hesitate to say your next words. You observed one hand come to shuffle with the silver lighter in his trouser pockets.Â
You stayed silent for a moment, genuinely thinking back to your daughters and what this meant to them if you went. What this would mean for you two as well.Â
Finally, you look up to him, returning his gaze.
âI need time.âÂ
He nods, face serious. âI understand.â
âLet me think about it.â You mumbled.Â
And with that you turn around, walking up the steps to your front door. At the sight of your flowerpot, you quickly remember his comment and snatch it in your hands, slamming the door shut to Hongjoong as he finally lets a soft grin break out on his face. Letting his back come up from leaning against the door, Hongjoong nods his head, satisfied enough at that answer, as he walks silently down the road while opening his Uber app.Â
At least youâd give it some thought.Â
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Okay, maybe now youâve given it too much thought.Â
Sipping your fifth glass of wine of the night, youâre sitting, back hunched over with your knees tucked into your chest on the breakfast table chair, zoning out as your best friend Sophie continues barking at you and your inconsistent commitment.Â
âI donât even understand why youâre considering going! Does the man realize what it takes to leave your own shop for a full week?â she fumes, adjusting her royal jelly sheet mask while cursing at your ex-husband for pressuring you into going to the family retreat.Â
âNot everyone can just pack their bags and go swimming at the cottage, Jesus Christâ she rolls her eyes.Â
âHe didnât pressure me,â you told her pouting. âHe wants to do it for the kidsâ you mumbled looking down as you defended him.Â
You invited your best friend Sophie over to your apartment that evening for your weekly slumber party, a time you each looked forward to dedicating a bottle of wine and chardonnay over some gossip, spilling all the uneventful drama in your lives.Â
Perhaps you revealed too much drama to your best friend tonight.Â
âI donât think I would mind going, to be honestâ you hiccup, words slurring. âI havenât had a vacation in so long, Sophie, and the girls really want to go! I would feel bad for leaving them with nothing to do this summer.â confessing through the alcohol.Â
Cheeks flushed, you sigh as you play with your silk robe mindlessly while Sophie shakes her head at you, one hand coming up to snap at you and bring you back to reality.Â
âHello? Earth to Ms. Divorcee?â She sighs, rolling her eyes in frustration. âYou said you wanted to set boundaries with him! To cut the line straight and keep your distance so you could get over your feelings for him! Show him whoâs boss!âÂ
âHe said heâs willing to put his music projects on hold for us,â you muttered quietly, the thought making your heart weak as you smiled at the memory of Hongjoong teasing you about your flower pot. Your chest blossomed with warmth now.Â
Sophie sighs, shaking her head as she thinks just how differently you were feeling four wine glasses ago.
âListen, honey, Iâm just warning you in advanceâ she sips the golden liquid in her glass before placing it on the table.Â
âTake it from a girl whoâs had three divorces. I mean look at me! Iâm still somewhat young, Iâve got no kids, no responsibilities, filthily rich, and not once have I had to pay for my own divorce settlement fees!âÂ
You nod mindlessly, eyes blinking softly under the bright kitchen lights.Â
âWhat you need is a provider, sweetheart,â she crooned, caressing your head.Â
âA guy who wonât leave you stressed and unimpressed like Hongjoong does.â
You continue mindlessly nodding your head at her words, ears perking up when you hear small footsteps come down the stairs.Â
âHi mom, Hi aunt Sophie.â Eunbyeol greets, eyes glued to her iPad that Eunseo trails after from behind, whining how it was now her turn to play Super Mario. Â
âHi girls,â Sophie replies like the cool, hot aunt she is, eyes shut as sheâs concentrating on giving herself a collarbone massage right now.Â
âHey sweetheart,â you mumbled, smiling at your daughters standing near the fridge getting a glass of water.Â
âSay, did your dad tell you guys anything about the cottage?â You blurt out loud, avoiding the look that Sophie gives you. Eunbyeol looks up from the glowing screen, ears perking in interest. âNo, not much, why?âÂ
Eunseo snatches the iPad from her twin, coming over to you. âDid Dad say weâre going?â She asks enthusiastically, eyes widening. Sophie is quick to assure them.Â
âNow of course not girls, your mother here was just-â
âOh fuck it, why not?â you say confidentially, shining a bright smile. âLetâs go to the cottage!â You exclaimed in drunk excitement, all three girls staring at you with their jaws hanging at your sudden profanity as well as your final decision.Â
Oh, how dangerous the effects of a bottle of wine were.Â
Eunseo and Eunbyeol immediately embrace each other in a passionate hug, squealing in excitement that their plan actually worked. You and Hongjoong were now both convinced. âOh my gosh, weâre going to go as a family!â They cried in happiness. You giggled at their joy, reciprocating their enthusiasm. Â
Sophie leans back in her seat defeated, shaking her head with pursed lips as she picks up the whole Chardonnay bottle and sips it.Â
âOh whatever. . . This isnât my problem anyways.âÂ
When Hongjoong drops by the next morning to pick up Eunbyeol and Eunseo from your house for the weekend, he canât lie but be a little heartbroken at the way his daughters ignore his kiss to them first thing. They instead, immediately shove the cottage advertising pamphlet in his face with victorious grins.Â
âSee! We told you mom would say yes!âÂ
âSay yes to what?â He pouts, avoiding the paper and obsessively trying to peck a kiss to each of his daughter's cheeks. The idea of going to the cottage almost slipped the busy manâs mind after almost a week of no news from you.Â
âWhatâs so important that you guys donât even say hi to me anymore?â he sulks.
Eunseo giggles, fighting back her laughter when her dad tries to tickle her with his kisses.Â
âWeâre going to the cottage!â
Hongjoong stills himself, leaning back to make sure he heard her correctly.Â
âWeâre what?â
Eunbyeol, taking after her mother, has a cheeky expression on her face as she places her hands on her hips and sasses her father.Â
âPack your bags and swimming shorts, daddy, weâre going on a family vacation!âÂ
In perfect timing, you manage to stumble out your front door, coffee mug in hand and mid-yawn when you realize Hongjoong is already staring at you in shock.Â
âWhat?â you snap, still grumpy from your slight hangover. âYouâve never seen a woman wake up before?â You replied, asking your kids if they packed all their stuff.Â
The twins watch as their dad stands up from his crouched position.Â
âYouâre going to go to the cottage?â
At Hongjoongs words you freeze, everything coming back to you all at once. The wine, the twins, the promises, it hits you like a moving truck.Â
âWellâŠâ
âNo take backs mom! You said it yourself last night that you were excited to go to the cottage!â One of the twins pointed out.Â
Hongjoong doesnât take his eyes off of you.Â
âI-I did say that, didnât I?â You chuckled sheepishly, toes curling at the rookie mistake you made in parenting 101: saying yes when you shouldâve said no.Â
Your ex-husband quickly tells the kids to put their things in the trunk, promising heâll be right with them after talking to you. As Hongjoong dashes up the stairs in his white polo golf shirt, you feel slightly exposed being in only your silk slip dress and robe.Â
âI didnât realize youâd be here so earlyâ you mumbled, looking down at your toes.Â
He ignores you. âSo Iâm guessing weâre going then?â He smirks, looking at you with an expression of undeniable cockiness and peaked interest.Â
You shrug nonchalantly. âLetâs surround the focus of this trip towards the kidsâ you remind him, straightening your back.
Hongjoong nods, agreeing with you wholeheartedly. âOf course, that was my intention from the beginning,â he smiles.Â
You swallow the lump in your throat, unnoticing his stare drop at your breasts perking up from the cool morning air. You jump in surprise as you hear the honking of the car.Â
âCome on, love birds! We gotta go back to dadâs to get our swimming stuff!â Eunbyeol cackles, leaning from the backseat into the driver's seat window. Eunseo already begins journaling in her hello kitty note book, an organized list of what sheâll need to bring to the cottage.
Hongjoong looks back at his daughters, before looking back at you with a smile.Â
âLetâs keep in touch about details, alright?â
You nod silently, gripping your mug. At the sound of your nextdoor neighbor coming out, Hongjoong contemplates for a moment before quickly leaning forward, shielding you from their view with his backside. Clearing his throat, Hongjoong nods his head to the inside of your house, leaning forward to whisper to you.Â
âThink, um, you should get inside, itâs getting cold,â he mutters, his dimples faintly showing. You glare up at him, âIâm going to say goodbye to my own daughtersâ. Still clueless to what he was referring to. He grins, shrugging his shoulders before looking at you.Â
âIf you insist. Just thought you wouldnât want your neighbor to see what I can see, would you?â
You gasp at his words, looking down at your chest to see what he means before wrapping your robe around you. You quickly waved goodbye to your girls before you shut the door in Hongjoongâs smug face.Â
Itâs now become the second time youâve done that.
Thankfully, the next time you see Hongjoong youâre wearing a much more appropriate outfit. In a white cotton blouse and casual jean shorts, your effortlessly chic vacation outfit was the only highlight today, considering the day you had been internally dreading for so long was finally here.Â
You tried to take deep breaths while scurrying all over your house and finishing some last minute packing. Reassuring yourself that a family getaway couldnât kill you.Â
Right?
Reservations at the cottage were made over the phone last week, booking a house with the perfect lake side view, access to the forest trail and close proximity to the offered activities. It would only be a seven day stay, both in your respective rooms, (you clearly emphasized you and Hongjoong had to have separate ones) while the twins would lodge together. You had no intention of interacting with your husband alone together on this trip, apart from the quote on quote, âfamily bonding timesâ you promised your daughters. And yet why were you here sweating nervously like a sinner in church?
âWhat a hot lady!â Eunbyeol wolf-whistles at your outfit when she walks through your bedroom doors. You jump at the sudden entrance, realizing Hongjoong was already here to pick you up with the girls.
A pair of black designer sunglasses slightly too big for her sat perched on her nose. Eunbyeol smiles before jumping onto your bed of clothes. You already know Hongjoong mustâve spoiled her and her sister with those, buying them a pair each.
âCâmon Byeol, off the bedâ you quipped, packing your toothbrush as she reluctantly slugged off the covers.Â
Your suspicions of Hongjoong buying them designer items are correct when Eunseo walks in, classily perching her matching white ones on her head before chastising her sister's tasteless compliment.Â
âElegant. Sheâs Elegant, Byeol. You donât just go around wolf-whistling at people.â she rolls her eyes.Â
âYou look very pretty by the way, momâ
You smiled, nevertheless pleased at both their compliments and thanking them before going back to doing a last minute check of your things.Â
Sun cream, clothes, makeup bag, swimsuitâŠ
At the thought of your swimsuit you immediately blush, thinking back to how Sophie forced you to borrow her yellow bikini that left very little to the imagination. Despite your protests that you wouldnât be needing it, she insisted.Â
Hongjoong is last to walk through your front doors, swinging his car keys around his index finger and calling to his three girls from the downstairs foyer of your apartment. The man is clearly excited for the trip, he canât lie.Â
âCome on ladies, weâre gonna miss the chance to swim in that lake if we don't leave soon!âÂ
Hongjoong is your typical dad, except for the fact that he does not mess with dad!fashion. The producer is dressed classily from top to bottom in a loose-fitting designer button up with a pair of reformed denim pants, his pearl earrings and gold piercings complementing his outfit perfectly.Â
Kim Hongjoong didn't play when it came to fashion. Even as a father.Â
âComing!â You exclaimed, ushering your kids out of your bedroom and making your way down the stairs with your suitcase. Seeing that it would only be a week at the cottage, you tried to pack light, though you may have to reconsider that thought with the way you struggled to lift the case properly.Â
âNeed some help?â
A strong hand comes to help you, immediately inhaling the scent of Hongjoongâs cologne as he brushes his knuckles near yours. âHere, Iâve got itâ he assures, making you step back and admire your undeniably fine husband.Â
Ex-husband. You meant Ex-husband. Scratch out the fine as well.Â
You watch from behind as he struts out the foyer, smiling and joking playfully with his twin daughters, carrying your luggage out the door with them.Â
What was this trip doing to you?
Once youâre on route to the cottage resort and the GPS is set, the car is blissfully quiet, each and every one of you surprisingly at peace. Jittery excitement still lays deep in your daughters' minds as you overhear them talk about what they want to do first once they arrive.Â
Hongjoongâs 2000s soft rock and ballad playlist is playing quietly throughout the speakers right now, relishing in the music as luscious, green trees flash by you from the passenger window.Â
While Byeol and Eunseo distract each other on their own, Hongjoong turns to talk to you.Â
âIâm not going to lie, itâs been forever since Iâve been on a road tripâ he smiles.
You copy him, feeling good in the moment. âSame, I donât remember the last time I went to one.â you confessed, thinking only of all the times you had in the past when you were a child and as a teenager.Â
Even back to when you were a young college student, wide eyed and so innocent to the chaos of your first college retreat with Hongjoong. That was the summer you two began dating, and boy were you fools in love. You cautiously look to your husband driving, bringing up past memories.
âDo you remember that one college retreat we went on during second year?âÂ
The corners of Hongjoongâs lips are already grinning upwards, smiling as he reciprocates your expression.Â
âRight, like I could forget that summerâ he replies sarcastically, gripping the steering wheel.Â
Itâs an easy memory to digest. A time when you were both so young, filled with nothing but dreams and passionate love for one another. Love so deep, that you remember the nights youâd spend locked up with Hongjoong under the sweaty bed sheets inside your cabin, blissfully making love until the sun would rise and he would finally kiss you to sleep. Perhaps, it was that summer when you realized you were going to marry and be with Kim Hongjoong forever someday.Â
Though itâs too bad, someday already passed.Â
âDo you remember when Seonghwa got so drunk he ended up confessing to Jieun in front of all the girlâs sleeping cabins?â Hongjoong snickers, relishing in the embarrassing memory his friend always hates him for bringing up. You laugh out loud, remembering the memory. âOh my god, yes!â You turned to face him, shaking your head. âIn nothing but his underwear, right?âÂ
Hongjoong nodded, smiling with one hand on the steering wheel as he drove.
âDidnât he end up jumping into the lake afterwards? With you having to go in and save him as well?â You share your laughter with one another, catching up on past memories as your twin daughters listened attentively in the back, reliving them with you together.
That's what makes the hour and half drive from the city into the wilderness feel so short, finally pulling into the graveled parking lot of the vast cottage resort. White suburban cottages lined along one another, a good amount of distance in between each for every family staying.Â
As Hongjoong parked the car, the view outside was so glorious you had to hold your breath. Glistening clear blue waves in the lake reflect the bright sunshine from above. A light breeze is present today with the way the willow and oak trees swayed gently.Â
âItâs beautifulâ you gasped from as far as you got out of the car, stretching your upper body with eyes closed as you inhaled the fresh air.Â
Hongjoong stills his movements, shutting the door before replying with his gaze caught at your backside.
âYeah, it isâ he smiles.
Both of you turn around at a loud voice coming from behind. âWeâre gonna explore the campsites and souvenir shops first!â Eunbyeol shouts as she runs away with her sister's hand in hers, towards the wooden cabin that's settled further away.Â
âWhat about lunch?â you call to them.Â
âWeâre not hungry!â
Hongjoong tells them to be safe, and to stick around nearby. You smirked, helping him unload the trunk as you told him. âTheyâll be fine. Theyâre probably too excited to even think right nowâ you giggled, bumping shoulders with him.Â
You feel the tension that was once so strong between you two fade slowly, walking up the wooden steps of your lodge and exchanging conversation with each other.
âHey, I just want my babies to be safeâ he admits, a grin on his face as he holds the cooler in his hands. You chuckle, shaking your head at his protectiveness.Â
âHere it is!â he exclaims, setting the suitcases in the front foyer as he opens the door. âLodge number 1117â
The two story cottage is larger than it appears from the outside, having a modern yet rustic interior that you and Hongjoong admired. It had everything you would need, from a well designed kitchen area to a cozy living room space.
âItâs perfect, the kids will love itâ you beam, looking at the hanging hammock chair in the corner of the living room and the gray stone fireplace. It fit perfectly for your family.Â
Hongjoong smiles, sunglasses perched on top of his head as he sets the luggage down near the kitchen. Walking up beside him, you help him unload the cooler and ice boxes first, settling into your new home for the next few days.Â
âIâm guessing you still drink?â you ask, looking in his direction as you unloaded the case of beer you saw him bring from the trunk.
He gestured to the booze. âCâmon, it wouldnât be a vacation without it, would it?âÂ
You wholeheartedly agreed, placing a few in the fridge before you shut it closed.Â
âHopefully, this time we wonât end up shit faced like we did back in collegeâ you laugh, turning to face him.Â
âI can already picture that time we got so drunk from that bottle of tequila my friend brought, we snuck out of the campsite and went to the forest and got lost.â you spoke, the memory a little foggy but nonetheless fresh in your mind.Â
Hongjoong smiles, listening as you speak. Â
âThere wasnât anything but trees and bushes in that forest!â You exclaimed, shaking your head. âWhat did we even do there?âÂ
Hongjoong replies nonchalantly, folding the cardboard box in his hands.
âIâm pretty sure we fucked.â
You momentarily freeze at his words, before letting out a soft awkward laugh, causing him to look up.Â
âNo we didnât, Hongjoongâ you immediately deny, not believing his words. But your brows began furrowing at the foggy memory, starting to realize you really couldnât trust your alcohol tolerance, now as an adult and even back when you were a college student. Did you guys have sex? In a forest out of all places?
Hongjoong leans against the kitchen counter, across from you as he crosses his arms in front of his chest and smirks smugly.Â
âNope, I distinctly remember itâ he recalls, taking a step closer so he was now in your space.Â
âI held your hand in mind as we walked up that trail by the cliff. And gosh, were we horny that night, because I remember you complaining about all that dirt you got on your knees from giving me the greatest head i've ever experienced in my entire life-âÂ
Slapping your hands over his mouth to stop him from going on, you blushed as you glared at him.Â
âJesus christ,â you mumbled, rolling your eyes before confessing.
âI get it, we fucked.â
Suddenly, you and Hongjoong break out into giggles like varsity sweethearts again at the story. Though embarrassed and cringing internally from the way you acted as young adults, it was nice to share them together now. At the proximity in which youâre standing in, you can't help but stare at each other softly. A hand wraps around your waist, making your breath hitch as he pulls you closer.Â
âWhat are you doing?â you grin, watching him.
He looms over you, able to tell that something sits right at the tip of his tongue that he hesitantly decides to say. âIâm pretty sure,â he mutters, staring at your face and cautiously grazing the skin under your blouse. You feel your breathing speed up.Â
âI also held you like this in my arms as you were leaning against that treeâ his grip gentle and immediately transporting you back to the scenery that night. His sharp tone contrasts his touch.Â
âYknow, the one we fucked against?â he teases to you one more time.
The scent of burning campfire. A cold, midnight breeze. The feeling of the rough cedar tree against your back as Hongjoong thrusted inside you with every delirious snap of his hips, holding you close while he fucked you to oblivion with only the forest animals standing witness to your sinful actions. The film replays like a cheesy R-rated romance movie in your mind.Â
âDid you, now?â You gulp, looking up at him as you adjust to the foreign feeling of his touch on your hips.Â
âYeah. I remember it allâ he states, smirking down at you with an intense gaze.
The memory dies down when you catch yourself staring at his lips, arms finding their way around his neck as he dives down to whisper softly to you.
âDo you remember too?â He asks.
How he held you in his arms. How he whispered in your ear while you came around his cock, drool and traces of cum littering the corners of your mouth while Hongjoong didnât care if you were stretching his flannel from how hard you were tugging at the material.
You nod. âI do,â you muttered, lashes fluttering as you felt as though your heart wouldnât stop beating. âI remember you kissed me on the lips,â you confessed.Â
Perhaps you wanted him to do it again right now.Â
He looks in your eyes, searching for your approval that you desperately give, breath hitting each other's faces as he slowly leaned down to try and connect your lips. His chest is pressed against yours, and you begin to realize you havenât shared the same breath like that in so long. You were so close to kissing right then and there.
If only you leaned in closerâŠ
âWeâre back!â
You push Hongjoong across the kitchen, shoving his hip painfully into the marble counter and ignoring his high-pitched groan of agony as you immediately look away to avoid suspicion, continuing to grab the beer from the icebox in front of you.
âGirls!â you exclaimed, voice wavering.Â
Of course, Eunbyeol and Eunseo walk in with matching postcards and goodies from the souvenir shop in their hands, their sunglasses perched on their heads as their eyes lit up with excitement. They were still oblivious to the fact that they almost caught their parents about to make out in the kitchen.
âDad, this place is amazing!â Eunbyeol deadpans, telling her father. âThey even have jet skiing on the other side of the lake! We gotta go now!â
Hongjoong clutches his hip, pursing his lips as he hides his expression of pain and surprise.Â
âReally? That's great sweetieâ
Eunseo however, is quick to catch on.
âWhat were you guys doing?â she looks at you suspiciously. Her words hang in the air for a moment.Â
âWere you guys about to kis-â
Hongjoong and you frantically scurry to find a plausible excuse, shuffling awkwardly.Â
âI was helping your dad unload the coolerâÂ
âI was helping your mom get something out of her eyeâ
Both girls stare at you meekly. Eunbyeol scrunches her nose. âHuh?â
Plastering on a fake smile, you briskly leaped over the luggage nearby, ushering them upstairs before they had the chance to ask anymore questions.
âI think itâs time to unpack your things.â you watched their eyebrows quirk at the way you pushed them out the kitchen.
âWe can do it on our own, mom! Itâs really no big d-â
You clamp Eunbyeolâs mouth shut with your hand, blushing profusely as you walk away with them.Â
Hongjoong stands there alone in the kitchen, rubbing his hip and wondering what the hell just almost happened.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8a391aa6109b5b3428dcf3ee23ab4017/b5da76ce33195c99-49/s540x810/a42c8b8c28eaf08c6a9192e60f069976d1beef5c.jpg)
The next few days, you and Hongjoong donât discuss the incident between you two. Rather, the beginning of the trip after that event has become a painful performance trying your best to be eerily polite yet distant to each other in front of your children, as if that would make you forget the fact that you two almost kissed in the kitchen.
âCould you pass the sunscreen, honey?â Hongjoong would say awkwardly, turning his back to flash you a cheery smile on the lake deck as Eunbyeol and Eunseo watched you interact while floating in the cool, summer waters.Â
You passed the bottle to your ex-husband while maintaining awkward distance. âOf course, darling!âÂ
âThanks honey!â
âNo problem sweetheart!â
This resulted in Eunbyeol and Eunseo looking at their parents in horror, the youngest twin muttering under her breath as they discussed an urgent change of plans.
âWe have to get them to stop being weird.â
Apart from that, the âfamily bonding timeâ promise to your daughters was maintained, and each day was an adventure for all of you in terms of what you would do together next. An accumulation of forest trekking, water-skiing and outdoors barbeques on the patio of your cottage made everyday feel more and more special for your girls, seeing how they relished in having both their parents with them at the same place and time. It became moments of peace and resolution that eventually became special for you and Hongjoong too.Â
âI hope we stay here forever,â Eunseo blurted out one evening after a blissful day near the lakeshore, watching as the sun began to go down. She was busy licking the sticky sides of her melting ice cream cone in one hand, the other one held in yours.Â
Hongjoong and Eunbyeol were a few feet ahead, laughing loudly and holding hands as they compared their fruit popsicles with one another to see whose was bigger.Â
âYou and Byeol would eventually get sick of going to the lake all the timeâ You smiled, the corners of your mouth turning up before her next words made the strings of your heart tug.Â
âSure, but at least you and dad could be together with us too.â
You watched as she ran up to her sister and dad, joining in on their fun as she began boasting that her ice cream was better than theirs. Hongjoongâs smile is the biggest youâve ever seen it to be, looking down at his girls with a golden tan from the past few days spent outside, and hair slightly damp from swimming.Â
Any person could tell the love in his eyes was as pure a fatherâs love for his girls could be.Â
Her words stuck with you until that very night, where after dinner, board games, and much pacing back and forth in your own room before getting into bed, you decided to cautiously approach Hongjoongâs room on the opposite side of the second floor.
Bare feet padded across the wooden floors as you peeked through the sliver of the open door.
He's wearing an oversized sleep tee and blue pajama pants, getting in some nighttime reading before bed. His glasses are perched on his nose, intently reading his paperback novel. He looks as domestic as a husband gets.Â
At the sound of your steps though, he sits up from his relaxed state on his bed, one arm that was supporting his head coming out as the other hand settles the book down on his abdomen. He looks surprised to see you.Â
âHiâ he states, looking at you.Â
âHeyâ
Hongjoongâs expression immediately softened at your figure, watching as you shuffled awkwardly in front of him. The room is quiet.Â
âCan I come in?â
âOf course,â He nods, setting his bookmark in the spine of the cover and turning his attention to you, offering you to take a seat on his linen covers. You see his polaroid camera with photos taken of Eunbyeol and Eunseo perched on a desk nearby.Â
You donât see the ones he secretly took of you, as those are in his drawers.Â
âDonât tell me you canât sleep by yourselfâ he gently teases before watching as your smile doesn't reach the ends of your eyes. You wrap your silk robe closer to your body, feeling sort of vulnerable.Â
âHow do you like the resort so far?â He asks, watching as you played with your fingers absentmindedly. âIs the room okay?â
âItâs wonderful Hongjoong, better than I could ever have hoped for.â You spoke up, telling the truth.
Itâs hard to arrange your thoughts in your head when itâs just the two of you in his room. The kids were already fast asleep. Now was your chance to just tell him how you felt. Why were you hesitating so much?
âHey, look at me.â Hongjoongâs soft voice calls out to you, a protective hand coming out to caress the back of your head in habit. He can tell you want to say something, and the gesture makes you emotional, remembering how he always used to do that to ease your nerves when you were younger.Â
âWhatâs wrong? Am I making things uncomfortable on the trip?â he worries about the boundaries you established with him at the beginning, watching as your lip begins to quiver and the emotions suddenly overcome you.Â
âI just wanted to tell you Iâm sorry.â you sniffled, tears forming near the brim of your eyes as you looked up at the father of your children.Â
Hongjoongâs eyes widened, shifting through the covers over to you. âWoah, hey, shh thatâs alright I got youâ he coos, immediately going into dad mode and embracing you in his arms, letting your head rest against his chest.Â
The action is natural, no longer foreign or weird, and you silently thank him for leaving reassuring circles on your back. Husband or not, Hongjoong would always be your best friend first. You had forgotten how much you missed this comforting side to him. Â
âTell me what youâre sorry aboutâ he states, chest tightening at your wet cheeks before he slowly raises your chin to look him in the eyes.Â
âFor being mean to you for so longâ you sniffle, a weakened state of emotional guilt eating away at you. You let him watch you carefully.
âIâve been thinking about how happy the girls have been during this trip. A-And it kills me that weâve been fighting for the past seven years, and that theyâve grown up seeing such bad parts of ourselves, of my own selfâ you ramble, confessing how you felt.Â
You look up. âTheyâre happy because weâre together Joong. Because weâre not fighting or avoiding each other like we used to do before.â
He watches as you look up at him with tears forming in your eyes.Â
âYouâre such a good dad. And I realized you deserve to hear that.â
At the sounds of more sniffles, Hongjoong finally speaks, smiling as he brushes stray hair from your face.Â
âI wouldnât want anyone else but you to be the mother of our children, I hope you know thatâ
His truthfulness throws you off guard.
âIâm sorry tooâ he sighs, letting you sit up straight and look him in the eyes properly. âI havenât been the best partner either, baby. We were both mean to each other.â he says, brushing a tear away from your face.
âIâm pretty sure youâve thrown a hair dryer at me once before as wellâ he attempts to make you laugh, affection blooming in his chest when he sees he succeeds, wiping your tears.Â
âBut I already knew how you felt, sweetheart. I always knowâ he smiles, eyes mirroring a weak ache in his heart. Â
âMarried or not, we were once friends. And now weâre familyâ His voice turns deep, strong and dependable like the father heâs become.
âWe can start overâ you tell him, smiling as he folds his hands over your palm. âWe can always do better from now and going forward. For ourselves, and for Eunseo and Eunbyeol.âÂ
Hongjoong nods, hesitantly for a split second before he leans over to press a soft kiss to your cheek, showing a gesture of affection that you longed for so long.
You shut your eyes, the kiss making your heart flutter.Â
âFriends again?â He whispers, though silently wanting something more.Â
You sighed, pulling him in closer to embrace in a hug. âFriendsâ you nodded while inhaling his comforting scent.Â
The next morning, and for the rest of the remaining trip onwards, you and Hongjoongâs relationship dynamics did the equivalent of a 180 degree turn.Â
Itâs hard to believe you two really just wanted to be âfriendsâ
Eunbyeol and Eunseo could tell by the way you talked to each other more, noticing you share more secret glances and fleeting touches that were innocent to the eye, but concealing a longing that you both tried to hide. You knew you couldnât get carried away. You and Hongjoong were simply resolving a rough patch in your parenting. Not getting back together in a relationship.Â
But after spending more time together while Eunbyeol and Eunseo became occupied on their own, it was hard keeping the interactions to a justified amount. Long walks in the forest, evenings spent cooking together, even cuddling together on the couch during family movie night. Thinking your kids were too busy watching the vintage Disney movie play on screen, when in fact, the real love story they were more invested in was happening right in front of their eyes, watching their parents falling in love again.
This led to the last event in their plan that they hoped would finally seal the deal.Â
On Saturday night, the last night of your trip before you had to go back to the city, you and Hongjoong are surprised to find mini invitations left on your beds, scribbled in glitter pen and cursive handwriting reading out the following:
Gourmet Dinner Date for 2
Time: 7:30 pm
Location: Outdoor patioÂ
Dress code: Formal and Classy
You and your husband chuckled at the cards left on your beds, suddenly finding a twin each by your side and ushering you to get ready.Â
âDo you and your sister even know how to cook dinner, Eunbyeol?â You questioned as your daughter rushed to push you into your walk-in closet, forcing you to get ready.Â
She huffs, placing her hands on her hips looking offended.Â
âAt least my cooking skills donât take after Dadâs, mom.â She mumbled, choosing your shoes for you. âHave some trust in a girl!â
Meanwhile, Hongjoong gets pampered by Eunseo in the other room, though in reality, her blunt critiques on her dads fashion are bruising his pride at the moment.Â
âDad, you have many normal clothes to wear. You have to chill with the ripped baggy jeans.â she demands, trudging through his closet to find something formal for him to wear.Â
He begins to protest but his daughter shakes her head. âYouâre supposed to look good for mom!â she huffs, searching on her own. At Eunseoâs words, the man starts to slightly worry, scratching the back of his head.Â
âYou and Byeol are gonna join too, right?â
She stops for a second, looking back to her father as she avoids the question and instead retorts back.Â
âItâs just a date, Dad. Relaxâ
Back to what was happening in the other room at the end of the hallway, you huffed in frustration when you walked back into your closet after Byeol rejected another one of your outfits for the dinner date.Â
âI have nothing else to wear, sweetie, these are all the clothes I have.â you came to terms with a hand coming to your forehead after having searched in despair.Â
The ten year old shakes her head before pushing you out of the way and digging deep into your suitcase. She reveals a delicate piece of material you didnât even realize you packed.Â
âWe got some help from Aunt Sophie and Uncle Hwa to pack you guys clothes that you could wear for a special occasion.â she wiggles her eyebrows, a smug grin on her face as you gap in shock.Â
You inspect the dress, lips parting in disbelief as you feel the material.Â
âI havenât worn this since I was in college.â You uttered softly to yourself.Â
At one longing look of the short dress, you shake your head, walking back into the closet to find something else. âI-I canât wear this Byeol, what would your dad think?â you asked nervously.
âDad said he thinks your boobs looked hot in this dress so Aunt Sophie and I picked it speciallyâ she looks up at you, proud of what she just said. Â
You whip your head around, mouth hanging open in shock.
âByeol! Where did you hear that from?âÂ
She sighs. âDad had one too many drinks this one time and started talking about you guys back in collegeâ she explained before shoving the infamous black dress in your hands.Â
âTalked a lot about how pretty you were,â she draws out her words in a teasing voice. You curse your husband for his mistake.
You bite your lip as you stare down at the fabric in your hands.Â
It was undeniable. You knew you looked amazing in this dress. You could testify from the amount of times Hongjoong ripped it off of you after countless night outâs filled with sexual tension and playful flirting. For god's sake, Eunbyeol and Eunseo couldâve almost had another sibling thanks to that dress.
âFine.â you muttered bashfully, turning away as you walked into the closet to change.Â
âBut Iâm just gonna try it on.â
Thirty minutes, one mental breakdown and too many outfit changes to count later, you walk down the stairs wearing the dress Eunbyeol had successfully persuaded you to wear.Â
What do you know, the kid was right. Your boobs looked amazing in that dress.Â
Not just your boobs, your whole body looked incredible with its strong curves and the beautiful fill it gave to the dress, making it slightly tighter than when you wore it as a twenty year old, but still all the more mature and sophisticated. You really did look hot.
Eunbyeol rushes down the stairs before you, catching up with her sister to inspect her job on their fathers preparation.Â
âWell?â She says expectedly, looking at her dad. âLetâs take a look!â
He sports a simple yet timeless white collar dress shirt, the first few buttons undone as he wears a form fitting black dress-vest that accentuates his waist, dress pants paired to go along with it. Though simple, his silver rings pulled the outfit together, making him just as good looking and sophisticated as you were.Â
Hongjoongâs back faces towards your front, watching as the man nervously shuffles his hands in his pockets.
âHow do I look guys?â He gulps, adjusting his collar and sweeping his blond hair back.Â
Eunseo rolls her eyes, a grin on her proud little face. âDo you even have to ask, dad?â Sheâs more than confident in the outfit she and Seonghwa coordinated together.Â
He chuckles, shaking his head as he nervously tells them.Â
âI want to look good for your mom, you know what I mean? She's a difficult woman to impress sometimes.â
âIâm difficult?â You tease, walking down the last few steps of the stairs.Â
The man turns his head around, losing his breath at the sight of you standing there in front of him, wearing that dress that he hadnât seen you wear for so long, looking breathtaking in every possible way.Â
âHiâ you grinned softly, feeling sort of shy.
The way you fit in that dress made an insatiable hunger fuel inside Hongjoongs chest, eyes gazing at the way you strutted over in the black, lace covered material with your hair tied back and glossed lips turned upwards as your dimples showed. He breaks from his admiration when you quirk a brow at him, making the man almost fall to his knees and stutter uncontrollably.Â
âI-I No I didnât mean that-â
You giggle as you bravely take Hongjoongs hands in your own, shutting him up as you turn to your daughters standing in front of you, starstruck at your aura.Â
âOutside, right?â you winked at them.Â
âRight this way!â Eunseo enthusiastically leads you out back to the outdoor patio, a perfect view of the garden and lakeside coming into effect. Hongjoong slips his hand from yours, and slides it across your waist, pulling you into his side.Â
âMy parents are too coolâ Eunbyeol sighs under her breath, watching from behind in awe.
Your ex-husband makes you swoon when he leans in to whisper softly. âYou look breathtaking, sweetheart.â feeling an immense sense of pride at how lucky he was to make you the mother of his children.Â
You blush, turning to him to whisper playfully back.Â
âNot bad yourself.âÂ
You both look forward when you come to a stop at the patio steps, sheer amazement at the full preparation your daughters did for this event. Fairy lights were hung around the area, a table with two chairs on either side placed with a white table cloth and a bouquet of freshly hand picked flowers from the forest, battery powered candles that were sold at the souvenir shop lit in the middle and glowing softly.Â
Eunbyeol dashes to the door when it rings, making you and Hongjoong furrow your brows.Â
âIs someone here?â he asks, watching Eunseo fold a napkin over her arm like the pro waiter she was. The other one walks out, an oily fast food paper bag in her hands as she smiles. âDinner is served!âÂ
âTurns out that diner 15 minutes away also delivers!â She chuckled, helping her sister plate the two cheeseburgers, fries, and vanilla and strawberry milkshakes.Â
You and Hongjoong continue to watch in stunned amazement as the girls prepare the not exactly gourmet(?) but still impressive meal in front of you, their small hands working swiftly.Â
âYou guys prepared all of this?â You asked, getting a little emotional. They grin proudly, nodding their heads. âWe called the place earlier and planned it all by ourselves!â
You pressed a kiss to each of their soft cheeks, thanking them both as Hongjoong did the same.Â
âWhat did I do to get so lucky with my girls?â he smiles, ruffling their heads.Â
âWhat about you guys?â You asked, watching as they slowly backed away to give you two some privacy.Â
âNatalie and her mom invited us over for dinner and a sleepover tonight at her cottage,â Eunbyeol smiles. At the mention of their newly made friend that they had gotten close to over the week, Hongjoong looks at you then back at them.Â
âWhat? But- â
She cuts him off, rolling her eyes. âHer mom said itâs totally fine with her. Sheâs only two cottages down, and sheâll make sure weâre back in time again for tomorrow when we leave!âÂ
The two girls smile in excitement, though the both of you have your parental instincts kick in.Â
âPlease?â they begged, wanting you to let them go so that they could do this for you guys as much as they wanted to do it for themselves. âSheâs waiting for us now!â
Hongjoong feels guilty. âCâmon, you guys should still join us!â
Eunseo immediately shakes her head, declining the offer.Â
âTonight is all about you guys. We donât want to intrudeâ she chuckles, bumping shoulders with her sister who chips in.
âWeâll text you guys in the middle to let you know everythingâs good of courseâÂ
You and Hongjoong smile, a feeling of immense proudness overwhelming you from seeing your daughters act so grown up. There wasnât anything else you felt grateful for more.Â
âThank you girls.â you muttered softly, watching as they flashed you a wink before hurrying out through the backyard door.Â
âDonât get all kissy in the backyard!â Eunbyeol teases, making cheesy smooching sounds with the back of her hand as her sister rolls her eyes and shoves her out.Â
Before you know it, youâre left standing with just the sound of smooth jazz playing on the patio speakers and the buzzing of the summer cicadas.Â
âShe takes after you, I hope you know thatâ You told Hongjoong softly. Â
He chuckles, âNot as much as you.â He gestures to the table. âShall we?âÂ
And thatâs how the next few hours seem to pass by without even realizing.Â
You see, there was a reason why you fell in love with the man sitting in front of you, and youâre just beginning to remember it now. Being with Hongjoong felt as if the moment was everlasting, and you could testify that from the amount of laughter and deep conversation that was shared over dinner, bringing you to sit on that patio until the sun had set. Every so often youâd smile again at the thought of the twins preparing this all for you.Â
âI donât remember the last time Iâve been on a date like thisâ You blurted out after laughing about something, taking a sip of your strawberry milkshake through a straw.Â
âOh, so weâre going on dates now, are we?â Hongjoong grins, making you roll your eyes at him.Â
You lean forward on the table cloth, watching as a glimmer passes through your husbandâs eyes while he sits back in his chair, cocking his head to the side as he clears his voice.Â
âBut youâve gone on dates after we split, havenât you?â he asks, leaning forward in interest now, letting his chin rest on his palm.Â
You shook your head slowly.
âNope. Not since signing those papersâ you revealed.Â
Hongjoong furrows his brows in surprise. âAnd whyâs that?âÂ
You suddenly didnât have an answer. âI-I donât know, I justâŠâ You began, watching how he looked at you with an unreadable expression. You smiled, looking down and suddenly feeling embarrassed.Â
âI guess I was too focused on running the bridal shop, I couldnât find the time to.â You use as a cliche excuse.Â
âBullshitâ he retorts back immediately.Â
âItâs true!â You protested, throwing a fry at him that he dodges, landing on his finished plate.Â
âYou always did say back when we were younger that you wanted to be a designer. And look at you nowâ he admires, letting the candle lights shine a youthful glow to your face.Â
âYou always said you wanted to become a music producer and write your own songs.â you reciprocated, smiling as you soaked in the presence of one another. âAnd here you are now.âÂ
You think for a moment before asking the same question.Â
âHow about you?âÂ
Hongjoong silently shakes his head as his answer, though silently thinking about something else. The music changes to some old Billy Joel song in the back. You donât realize it, but Hongjoong smiles to himself when he realizes the girls added it to the playlist. Of course they had to, it was one of the songs you played at your wedding.Â
âWhat were we thinking when we got married like that?â You asked out loud, looking at how far youâd both come. You definitely skipped some of the order of the stages of a normal relationship.Â
âI mean, we had no money, no prospects. Hell, we didnât even have a car, Hongjoong!â you realized.
Your husband laughs, sitting straight and letting some skin show through his unbuttoned collar.Â
âWe were youngâ he justifies.Â
âYeah, and stupid too,â you pointed out, feeling the summer breeze pass by. It felt good to sit here like this with him.
You wondered, could sitting here like this with Hongjoong be a regular thing? After this trip, would you be able to walk back into each otherâs lives again like this?Â
As both parents and lovers?
Hongjoong brings up something you wouldnât have expected him to.Â
âDo you remember when we first found out about Eunseo and Eunbyeol?â he questioned softly, looking at you.Â
You blink, taken aback. Suddenly youâre back in your college dorm washroom, sobs wracking through your body as Hongjoong who had only just sent his first few mixtapes to recording stations and companies nearby, pulled you close into his chest, eyeing the two lines left on the counter while he caressed your back. Only twenty years old and figuring out what you wanted to do with your lives, you were suddenly stuck in a sudden situation that had made you feel like your dreams would have been given up on completely.Â
âI do,â you told him, pulling yourself from the memory.Â
âI remember because in that moment I felt like the whole world was caving inâ. You laughed, though it wasnât fully cheerful.
âI donât regret it, thoughâ Hongjoong replies after some thought, gazing at you with truth in his eyes.Â
You shook your head. âOf course. Neither do I.âÂ
It was a blessing to have two beautiful daughters as the product of your love.
âI donât regret you either.â Hongjoong states.
You lock gazes, unable to take your eyes off of his face.Â
âI loved you when I first met you and I still loved you when we divorced,â he says all at once, making your breath hitch and heart waver.Â
âDonât say that.â you tell him, looking away and suddenly reminding yourself youâre still divorced from the man sitting in front of you.Â
How could he still love you after all this time? How could you feel the same about him?
Hongjoong continues, shaking his head as he bites back the lodge in his throat and makes up his mind. He has to tell you.Â
âTruthfully, I donât think Iâll ever stop loving you.âÂ
Donât do this to me you begged silently.
âIâve hurt you just as much as youâve hurt me.â He swallows, thinking back to the times you already knew he was referring to. The times where you fought to the point where there wasnât even anything worth fighting for anymore.Â
âBut you have given me the greatest gifts of my life.â He smiles, holding his tears back.
âAnd for that I will always love you.â
You push your seat from the table, suddenly feeling overwhelmed and wanting to avoid him.
âI canât do this anymore.â you dejected, walking away from the patio and from Hongjoong.
There wasnât anything else you could fake anymore. You couldnât bear to hear the man you once loved, possibly even still love, say these things like he had a dagger lodged in his heart. Didnât he know he was only going to do the same to you?
Hongjoong is quick to catch up, holding onto your wrist and turning you around, that your back collides with the nearest wall inside, pressing your fronts together and closing the distance.
âWhy do you always run away from me? From the possibility of us?â He exclaimed, voice breaking. His heart crushed at the way you turned your head, hot tears already clouding your vision.Â
âBecause âusâ canât happen again, Hongjoong!â You cried, staring up at the man you once promised your life to.
âDonât you get it? Us going on this trip isnât a sign to get back together. What would we do seven years after breaking up?â
âWe could do itâ He states firmly, staring you down, both your chests heaving.
You bite your tears back again. âNo we couldnât, honey. We would be pretending to think we solved our marriage. What would we do about our daughters? After putting them through our constant fightingâ â
He slams his lips to your own, shutting you up as you painfully resist his touch. Your hands came up to push him away, but at the sudden gesture, youâre already giving in and sobbing softly, letting him hold you for just one last time.Â
Your lips mold so perfectly, it almost hurts how much you missed this feeling. To have him slot his arms around your waist, pull you in close, and cherish you. You almost forgot this feeling.Â
He pulls away softly, watching your lashes flutter, pleading to you for a chance as he leans closer, making your breath hitch.Â
âWe could be together as a family again,â he states firmly, your name leaving his lips in a desperate plea. âWe never know if we tryââ
You drown out his words, looking up with tears falling as you cut him off.Â
âSeven years ago I gave you those papers to sign, thinking that you wouldâve chased after me,âÂ
Hongjoong holds his breath, watching as the next words stumble from your mouth.Â
âI realize now, how stupid I was to think that.â
âI didnât know you wanted me to chase youâ
Shoving his chest away while mustering the last of your strength you uttered. âOf course I wanted you to chase me.â You let go of his hands. âItâs too late either wayâ, walking away from the defeated man.
Hongjoong stands alone near the patio entrance, watching his tears fall to the wooden floorboards. Holding the ring he had kept hidden in his trouser pocket, he plays with it in his fingers, silently wishing he had given it to you sooner.Â
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It rains the next morning on your departure back to the city. Perfect, considering it reflects the sudden storm of utter depression that falls upon your family. Long gone are the cheerful giggles and longing stares that were shared between you and Hongjoong during the ride to the cottage.Â
There was no room for that, not after last night.
Eunbyeol and Eunseo sat slumped in the backseat, rain hitting the roof of the car as they mindlessly played on their cell phones. Really, they were peeking from behind every so often and watching their parents sit in the front seat with tension so thick, you couldâve cut it with a knife.Â
What had they done wrong? They planned the trip, the activities, the dinnerâ it was all perfect. And yet why were you still fighting with each other?Â
These questions racked in their brains, baffled to have witnessed the sight of their parents refusing to talk to each other after walking back from their friends' sleepover.Â
Eunbyeol and Eunseo felt as useful as matchmakers without a couple, feeling their efforts all gone down the drain.Â
At the sudden ring of your cell phone, you pick up, answering at the voice of your assistant.Â
âIâm driving back up right nowâ
Hongjoong continues focusing on the road, the occasional wiping of rain from the windshield wipers on the front window.Â
âYes. Thatâs okay, I'll take care of it.â You muttered, glancing at the rear view mirror for a moment. Your twin daughters immediately sigh, having an idea of what to expect when you say those familiar words.Â
âThanks for letting me know.âÂ
You hang up the phone,Â
âOne of us isnât going with you, are we?â Eunseo asks, making you look back at her with a sigh.Â
âNo, youâre notâ You confess, apologetic. âIâm sorry honey. I really am.â
You look back facing the front, swallowing as you told Hongjoong.Â
âYouâll have to drop me off at the studio. Some things arenât working out with the client so they need me to come in and take care of it.â
He nods, unphased as he continues to look straight.Â
âWill you be fine with the girls?â You asked carefully, watching them as they were slumped in the backseat.
Hongjoong grips the wheel before turning to you.Â
âIâll be fine. Donât worry about itâ sending a small smile, though it doesnât fully reach his eyes.Â
The twins thank god that at least neither of them had to choose to go back home with either parent.Â
They wouldâve hated that more.Â
After barely being able to depart and say goodbye to your daughters in front of your studio, holding them close for a warm embrace and thanking them for an unforgettable weekend, Hongjoong drives off with his daughters, an empty feeling cascading his thoughts. He puts on a smile still, trying to cheer up his girls.Â
âWhat do you want to do first when we go home? Want to unpack and then eat? We can eat and then unpack. Or we could- â
Eunseo crosses her arms, having been fed up for far too long.
âDad, you must be out of your mind.âÂ
Hongjoong stills, furrowing his brows and peeking at the first born who crosses her arms, holding an attitude.Â
âEunseo, what are you- âÂ
âYouâre telling me you and Mom just spent a whole entire week together at the cottage, had the best time of your lives since separating with one another, and now youâre just going to go back to not speaking or talking to each other again?â
Hongjoong blinks at his daughterâs sudden outburst, already making a turn into the driveway of his house. Â
Eunbyeol now reciprocates her twin, looking at her dad as she slouches beside him, coming near the front seat area.Â
âSheâs got a point dad. Do you really just not love mom anymore?â She worries, looking up at him genuinely concerned.Â
Hongjoong doesnât know how to answer these sudden questions right now, stuttering to reply.
âMe and your mother are fine!â He lies, trying to reassure them. âThat trip wasnât just for us, it was also for you two to enjoyâ â
Eunseo asks the million dollar question.Â
âIf you still love Mom, why are you letting her go a second time?âÂ
With the engine turned off, it's gone silent. Two pairs of eyes staring at their father, awaiting his response.Â
âWell? Are you going to chase after her or not?!â Eunbyeol groans, her fathers lack of response making her pull her hair.Â
They were right. How could he have made the same stupid mistake twice?
Hongjoong struggles to put the keys back in the engine, telling them to put their seat belts back on. Their eyes begin to glow with hope.
âDo you girls mind staying at your uncleâs for a bit?â He asks hurriedly, punching into his cell phone to call his brother for a favor as he pulls out of the driveway. Eunbyeol squeals, hands clamping over her mouth as her sister speaks on behalf of them both.Â
âDad, if you donât drop us off and get your butt over to momâs right away, Iâm gonna report you to child services.â she threatens, watching as he steps on the accelerator, heart pumping so fast as he smiles through the rear view mirror.
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You sighed, holding up your cellphone to your ear.Â
âCall me once she approves the design then,â you told your assistant through the receiver, one hand looking over the sheets of paper, highlighting the changes to the new blueprint.Â
âAlright then, bye.âÂ
After hanging up the phone, you rubbed your temples, head pounding as you tucked the files back into the folder.Â
The clock in your studio showed the hands about to reach seven pm. A few hours had already passed since coming back from your trip to the cottage, trying to forget everything by burying your focus into the new dress prints a client of yours requested, remodeling them after the original was rejected.Â
Fingers worked away swiftly, comparing textiles and fabrics as you looked at the piles of papers and messy sticky notes in front of you. But yet the gears in your mind seemed to churn achingly slow, sighing as you repeatedly told yourself the same thing.Â
Just focus on the dress, focus on the dress, focus on the dress.
Donât think about him.Â
The task is impossible. Your mind canât help but slip back to what your relationship has become with Hongjoong, and what you were going to do now that those seven days were over. For so long you had deprived yourself from indulging in your love life, prioritizing taking care of Eunseo and Eunbyeol while juggling your job as a designer. Had you been doing it all wrong?Â
Hongjoongâs words repeat in your head like a broken record player.Â
I will always love you
Lies. That promise couldnât be kept. Your divorce was a clear outcome of it. You and Hongjoong were two people not meant for one another. You were too different, all you would do is hurt one another, make life an unbearable living hellâ
And yet you missed him. You missed Hongjoong so much.Â
What was fucking keeping you from loving him? Was it your stubbornness? Was it really the fact that he didnât chase after you? Or was it none of that and just your own self being stupid?
The front door of the studio opens, pulling you from your thoughts as you got back to the sketches. You called up from your desk as you worked quietly.Â
âThe studios closed for the- â
Heavy breathing. The man who just walked in catches his breath from dashing out of his car and up the three flights of stairs, driving through almost an hour of traffic in pouring rain to be here in this moment with you.
âHongjoong?â
Heâs drenched, making a mess on the floor of the studio as the droplets fall softly one by one.Â
Suddenly he's striding over to where youâre sitting in long steps before slamming his lips against yours. The kiss throws you off guard, the shock of his cold hands cradling your face makes you close the gap unknowingly.Â
Linking your arms around his neck while kissing back passionately, you let your hands rest on his shoulders, pulling back for air as you panted heavily, catching your breaths and looking at each other with pure love and lust.Â
âWhy are you here?â you asked, feeling dumb because your heart already knew the answer. His hands wrap around your waist, desperate as if you would leave him again.Â
But heâs just so fucking tired of that now. He just wants to love you now.
âI lost you once.â He breathes, eyes watering.
âIâm not going to lose you againâ.Â
Suddenly, everything that kept you from being with each other is thrown away.Â
That hate, that fear, everything is gone because you realize you still needed each other. Youâre still the same twenty year old couple standing in that dorm washroom, holding each other close and knowing itâll be okay because at least you had each other.Â
You grasp onto his damp shirt, pulling him down with such force that your lips meet again, taking charge as you finally allowed him to have you.Â
âYouâre a fucking idiotâ you whined between kisses, curses escaping your lips when he softly bites the flesh of your neck to test the waters. âI hope you know thatâ
He agrees wholeheartedly, nodding as if he was already getting pussydrunk.
âIâm an idiotâ he mumbles to himself, letting it escape his lips like a mantra. Well, he was stupid enough to only chase after you this late, so if his wife told him he was an idiot, then so he was.
âLet me prove how much I love you,â a hand comes to graze near the collar of your shirt.Â
You gasped, watching as Hongjoong lifted you from your seat and rutted his hips against your core pathetically, your ass digging into the edge of the table.
âHere?â Your eyes widened, watching his expression turn dark. He presses kisses on your collarbone, making your hands grasp the wood for support. âHongjoong wait,â you exhaled in a deep breath, heart beating against your chest.
But he doesnât give a shit. Heâs tired of waiting.Â
âItâs been too fucking longâ he protests, ripping your top off. Youâre dizzy from how abruptly heâs stripping you, latching onto his shoulders for support as you wobble from him unzipping your jeans and pushing them down, exposing you in nothing but your underwear and bra.Â
And like the good little whore you are, you immediately spread your legs, letting Hongjoong get a view of the embarrassingly wet patch leaking through your panties as heâs crouched down to let you step out of the denim near your ankles.
Holy fucking shit
You stand bashfully, toes curling from how exposed and vulnerable you were being the only one naked.Â
âPlease?â you asked nicely, letting your foot rest on his shoulder as your pussy was now on full display for him.
You donât have time to even finish the last word before Hongjoong dives in, lapping at your soaking cunt and humming in pure ecstasy at the taste. The muffled vibrations make you throw your head back, tugging on his locks to shove his face further.Â
Hongjoongâs hands press into your thighs that cage his head in, leaving a grip that you guarantee with littering the flesh with red splotchy bruises. Did you mind? Not at all.
When his tongue pokes at the gummy flesh of your walls, you let out a full moan, echoing throughout the studio as the air begins to smell like sex.Â
âRight there, yesâ you urged him, leg beginning to shake from how weak it was getting.Â
He's so invested, you fear he might suffocate any longer if he doesnât pull back for air. So you grasp his head, pushing him away from his meal while you both gasped lightly.
You watch him wipe his slick covered chin with the back of his hand, not breaking eye contact as he stares.Â
âYou were just begging to be fucked for all these years, werenât you sweetheart?â He teases.Â
Though you wanted him to lap at your juices until you came, you knew you needed to still feel his cock inside after so long.Â
Your fingers played with the hem of your underwear, smiling back at your husband.Â
âAnd you were just begging to get a taste of this pussy, werenât you, Joong?â wiping that smug grin off his face.
âLay down for meâ he demands, getting up so that one hand finds its way to the back of your bra to unclasp it. The other clears half your desk covered in wedding dress blueprints and sketches, making sure nothing would make you uncomfortable before he fucked you on that mahogany surface so all youâd remember would be his name.Â
And people said romance was dead.Â
When the bra slides off and your bare back hits your desk, you suddenly realize what Hongjoongâs intention was when he ordered you to do that.Â
Soft mounds spill out as your breasts take their natural form, giving Hongjoong the perfect view of your tits. Pervert.Â
He immediately latches his tongue on a nipple, taking his hand and playing with the other, twisting painfully.Â
A cry escapes your lips, parting them open as you let him play with them as much as he wanted to. He smiles against the motherfuckers, knowing that shut you up perfectly.Â
âAre you ready for me to fuck you now?â
âPlease, Joong, I need youâ you whined, submitting yourself to your husband. He already knows youâre in need of one last kiss, coming up to give his wife what she wants by slotting his lips against yours again, this time much harsher.Â
âTell me so that I treat you good, babyâ he mumbles, pulling back and making you clench your thighs together. He undoes his shirt in the meantime, unbuckling his belt and pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek when you sobbed.Â
âFuck me, pleaseâÂ
His fingers slide your panties to the side to press his aching tip to your wet core.Â
âLike this?â He teases.
âInside, Hongjoongâ you emphasized, meaning what you said with the way your nails dug into a pile of papers nearby. Biting your lip from how sensitive and needy your cunt was.Â
âI know, I know,â he murmured, smiling to himself after messing with you.Â
âI just missed this pretty cuntâ before in one strong thrust, Hongjoongâs bulging tip enters inside your walls, giving you a stretch you forgot how much you loved. You whined softly.Â
âShitâ he curses, relishing how the buildup finally led to this moment.Â
The man is ravenous, but heâs genuinely trying his best to ease the painful stretch as you adjust to his thickness, nipping your neck in a trail of hickeys and love bites posessively.
With every thrust he makes, you arch your back, pencils and papers shuffling near by you.Â
âFucking look at my wifeâ he admires proudly, watching the woman he loves bounce her tits at every thrust of his cock.Â
âSâtoo muchâ you caved in, shaking your head at the stimulation.Â
You claw at his arms, head turning to the side as your eyes roll back from pleasure.Â
âI know, mama, I knowâÂ
He grabs a tit in his left hand, the right one coming down to play with your clit, pressing slow circles near where you were connected.Â
âFuck, I missed theseâ He rasps, savouring the feeling of your soft flesh in his hand, making you throw your head back.Â
âMissed how they looked when you were pregnantâ he says, thinking of how ethereal you looked when you were knocked up with his kids.Â
âGod, at this point Iâm gonna get you fucking pregnant againâ Hongjoong grunts, snapping his hips deliriously back and forth. He envisions you round and full, fulfilling his inner fantasy.Â
âShut up.â You spat, breaking the mood as you bit your lip to suppress a moan. He almost laughs when you then crane your hips back to give him easier access to keep penetrating you. The desk shuffles.Â
âYour mouth is saying one thing, honey, but your body is saying something elseâÂ
After hearing his words, you suck him in further, both of you now getting close.Â
âMâclose. Mâso close!â you whimpered, sitting up so that now Hongjoong could hold you in his arms, caging your body so his cock could stuff you better.Â
Your mouth hangs open in silent bliss, hands scratching his back. You leaned into his ear, making the final chord inside him snap.Â
âMake me cum, daddyâÂ
And just like that, youâre clenching around Hongjoongâs massive cock as a creamy white ring begins to form. Hot ropes fill you up inside, tangled in a sweaty mess as he purrs, caressing the back of your head again in habit.Â
âSo fucking good, sweetheart. You did so good for meâ
The sounds of your breathing fill the studio, a pencil or two rolling quietly away on the ground from being shoved off the desk. He shakes his head when you try to pull your sweaty bodies away, hair sticking to your neck but feeling the way he refuses.Â
âJust let me love you,â he mumbles into your shoulder, dick softening inside you. âJust for a moment.â
Youâre too tired to say anything back, so you finally give in.Â
Seven years passed by you two without even realizing how much you still loved each other. Though you wouldnât be able to get that time back, for once, there was something that you and Hongjoong agreed upon.Â
You had no intention of wasting that time any more.Â
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đđđđđđđđ:
Months later, and it still takes everything in Eunbyeol and Eunseo hearts to not scream at the sight of their parents when they walk hand in hand, smiling happily in public as they pick their daughters up from the first day of school.Â
The girls jump into their parentâs embrace, eying the two silver rings they now wore proudly together.Â
âHow was school, darlings?â Hongjoong asks, pressing a kiss to Eunseo and Eunbyeol.Â
âIt was fun! We watched a documentary about lovebirdsâ she smiled, looking back up. You laughed softly.
âWhich reminded me to tell you,â she grins, watching as you, her sister, and father all looked at her.Â
âI hope you know that getting you and dad back together was my plan from the start.â she confesses, smirking at Eunbyeol who scoffs, crossing her arms.Â
âNuh uh, this was my idea first!âÂ
Before her sister could yell at her twin, you jumped in.Â
âPlan? What plan?â You asked quizzically, both you and Hongjoong standing there confused.
âTo get you guys to fall back in love again, of course!â Eunseo smiles, both her and her sister now giggling softly together. Â
âHow am I just finding out that there was a plan?â Hongjoong mutters, scratching his neck in confusion. You turned to the two girls, stopping in your tracks on your way to the car
âWhen did you two even think of all this?â grinning in astonishment as you felt Hongjoong slot his hand and intertwine it with yours. It felt natural now.
âYeah, I'm curious tooâ he states, leaning close and becoming intrigued.
Your daughters look at each other before smiling.Â
âItâs a long story.â
But at last, time is something you finally now have as a reunited family of four, walking back to your car, holding hands with a twin on each side.
Listening carefully, as your daughters start from the very beginning.
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#wet kissy on ur forehead for writing the best pussy drunk stupid dad!hj#as a certified pyeongie and a fast reader i took a lot of time to consume 18k fic...u HAD ME DOING JUMPING JACKS EXCUSME?#reactions so haywired i ahd to use these bigass gifs and pictures to convey my feelings.#FIRST AND FOREMOST#THESE TWO KIDS ARE ACTING IN PAIN AND HOW TF DID THEY BOTH NOT NOTICE!!!!#like i would be drooling all over the backsear and that one turn would wake me up making me act and my PARENTS WILLL NOTICEđ#but the twinsies are so cute my god they are the icons of this fics i lobe them#wish i could record myself because the dialogues are what made this fic so interactive for me. each one of them had elicited a response out#im a theatre kid and the dialogues oh wow#let me in i need some script advice.#and it has ruinef me for other fics once again.#WHEN OC PICKED UP THE POT BC OF HIS COMMENT AND SLAMMED THE DOOR AND HE GRINNED. IM ON THE FLOOR. TAKE ME. RN.#HOW OBVIOUS BOTH OF THEM WERE#kinda made me realise i can never be eunseo and eunbyeol of my parents bc they would actually throw the pots at eo N E WAYS#âim pretty sure we fuckedâ im pretty sure u both are still in love cmon shut up now.#WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE POINT WHY DID THE ACTUALLY DIVORCE???? WHAT WAS THE REASON??? FIGHTS??? MARRIAGE HAPPENED TOO SOON???? OING????#i feel the need to put it out in the world that them using âwe were mean to eoâ âfriends?â is eldest sibling in their safe space coded.#idk thats a stupid logic but it was my uncensored thought to that moment#both of them are so sexy for the gourmet dinner scene i almost pissed#THE WAY I JUMPED WHEN THE TWINS SAID WHAT I WANTED TO SAY LIKE#U DIDNT JUST I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND OC TELLING U TO CHASE AND U GO WELP *cries internally im sorry BLAH BLAH BLHA#BITCH RUN FOR UR LIFE THATS THE MOTHER OF UR CHILDREN!!!!#i genuinely tweaked everytime they used mother of my children father of my children...all the possesive terms oh lord.#so vcutparis lore coded. we love the above tag.#âmaking sure nothing would make you uncomfortable before he fucked you on that mahogany surface so all youâd remember would be his name. â#DAMN FUCKING RIGHT AN DTHEY SAY ROMANCE IS DEAD. THE WAY I BANGED MY 2000 PAGES OF NOTES ?#i love this fic sm#and another favourite scene is when grandma hong calls twins HER LITTELE SQUIRRELS ACK ACK ACK ACKCKCCCCCCCCCCKK just set me on fire.#AND WHEN EUNSEO BLURTS OUT SHE WANNA STAY AT THE RESORT FOREVER? and then the scene changes to tanned hongjoong laughing smiling.#i curled over and cried
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I am,,, feeling so incredibly normal today, about my imaginary D&D dude and their train-wreck of a life
Sorry mutuals & followers Iâm gonna be Worse than normal today I swear Iâll shut the fuck up soon
Need a separate blog for D&D shit honestly
#Iâm undone okay#genuinely unwell#How am I meant to WORK when I have THOUGHTS#I do not want to conduct interviews I want to WRITE UNHINGED ANGST ABOUT HOW JET FINALLY GOT WHAT THEY WANTED ONLY TO GET IT TORN AWAY#ONE ISNâT GONE HEâS *IN JETâS HEAD* AND HE CANâT TELL SEVEN BUT HE HAS TO#HE HAS TO TELL HIM OR ITâLL ONLY GET WORSE#BUT TELLING HIM WILL EITHER MAKE THEM A LIAR OR AN EXISTENTIAL THREAT#THEYâVE COME SO FAR THEYâVE FINALLY BEEN HONEST ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS AND AGAINST ALL ODDS GOT A POSITIVE RESPONSE#AND HE WONâT GET THE CHANCE TO BE HAPPY ABOUT IT#HE DIDNâT EVEN GET TO BE HAPPY ABOUT IT FOR A FULL FIFTEEN MINUTES BEFORE MOV BROUGHT HIM ALL THE BAD NEWS#He canât catch a break he canât win he had the healthiest (still wildly toxic) conversation heâs ever had with Seven and it was for NOTHING#I mean he deserves it given the new proof that Callie didnât throw them away but they abandoned her and broke HER heart instead#and given everything about how heâs treated Anna and Tenebrem both#like do NOT get me wrong Jet is a total POS but FUCK man#the ONE time theyâre trying to genuinely actually do things right and not repeat all the same mistakes and wrongs of their past#is of course the ONE time it canât work out#fuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkk meeeeeeeeee ohhhhh my God#Wes is a cruel DM but damn if he doesnât know how to make a compelling narrative around our collective fuck-ups#but also God what happened to âyeah I see Jet returning to the junkyard being the beginning of the weâre so back chapter of Jetâs storyâ??#what happened to that??? what about everything since Jetâs return from their hiatus and Morriganâs cameo says weâre so back???????#God ok I need to shut up and work but FUCK#Jet tag
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#i would sorta like to understand how my parents can say such unbearably cruel things to my face#and think that theyâre helping me#i get that other people in my life might not tell me the truth bc they donât want to hurt me#but thereâs a difference between being honest and being cruel#between being realistic and projecting your own dissatisfaction#and in the same breath theyâll ask me why i have no confidence in myself and tell me that iâve wasted all my potential & itâs too late for#like#not that everything is their fault i am entirely responsible for not planning better#but how can they say something like that and think that theyâre doing me a kindness#it just does not compute#this conversation happened yesterday and it was an hour of them venting their frustrations at me#frustrations that i fucking share!!!!! just for the record!!!!!#and then getting mad when i didnât respond with some sort of hail mary like actually everything was fine#like what did they expect me to say#it also feels just so manipulative how much they insist that they are the only ones that care about me#that no one else in my life is reliable#which is already something i believe bc who would ever want to put up with all my bs outside of brief dinner parties#but i also canât rely on them because everytime i have theyâve turned it against me like a weapon#so doesnât that just mean that i genuinely have no one??? that iâm genuinely alone???#and i know i know they are like this because of their own trauma and their own issues#but i canât manage myself much less manage all their emotions#itâs just such an awful situation#iâll stop there the longer i type the more i spiral#but i am just extremely disappointed in myself that i couldnât hold on to my good productive mood from last week for even a single day#after getting back#personal#vent
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#i am actually so unbelievably livid right now#like i do not know what to do with the anger that is being held in my body at the moment#ive just tested positive for covid after being sick for a few days#i just tested negative on saturday before i went to a concert and before i saw my partner#so i thought i was fine#but no! actually if i have plans or want to take a fucking break literally ever someone gets sick (me this time) and the plans are ruined#i am legitimately struggling so badly with my mental health right now this might genuinely be a breaking point for me#i am fully at risk#yknow?#anyway#i feel fucking awful because i saw everyone and was doing normal stuff and i just have an immense amount of guilt about it#like#several people have said its fine but i dont believe them at all#ive asked my partner twice if theyre upset with me and theyve said no but i dont think thats the case#i dont know#i was supposed to go on a trip with them this weekend and weve had it planned for a month#and now im sick and we wont be able to go unless shes sick too or i test negative before saturday#and i have a fucking final on thursday and im feeling like im going to fucking **** ******#maybe im blowing it out of proportion! i dont know#but seriously this just happened like last month as well with another family member#we were all supposed to go on a trip to the beach and my brother got sick so only three of the seven of us went and it was kinda miserable#i swear to god i cant have anything good#i cant handle anything anymore#i dont want to live in this house and i dont want to speak with my family and i dont want to do school or work or anything else ever#the burden of being alive is immeasurable and i cant keep living with the responsibilities that come with it
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important ! In recent years especially this year Iâve noticed a lot that the internet language picked up so many Islamic phrases and, from a muslim perspective, it makes the internet a little more welcoming. the thing is, a lot of the time with Islamic phrases you have to be careful about when and where to say them they hold their own weight and demand their own respect so here is a list explaining each phrase and some notes about it.
In sha allah
It means â If God wills â. Itâs mostly a response that can mean yes or no. If someone asks you to do something you can say in sha allah as in â I heard you and Iâll try to do itc but I canât claim that It will happen â . Muslims say it because weâre unaware of what future holds itâs actually blasphemous to claim to know the future, so saying so means â If itâs the will of god it will happen if not it wonât â and youâd also say it about future events.
Ma sha allah
It means â this is what god intended â and itâs a compliment. Saying so is like saying WOW! But itâs also kind of a prayer of protection? If I see someone with pretty hair I should say â Ma sha allah your hair is very pretty â the ma sha allah protects the person from the evil eye. By saying that Iâm also saying Iâm not jealous Iâm genuinely enamored and I donât wish any harm to go to it.
Astagfurullah
it means â to god I repent â or â from god I seek forgivenessâ itâs usually used when you make a mistake but people also use it when they see something bad or when they want to avoid saying something bad. Like once my card refused to work and Iâd say that so I wonât say any curse words and to calm down my anger
wallah/wallahi
okay this one is important. This one shouldnât be used so lightly. It means â by godâs name â and itâs basically swearing in Allahâs name. You are only supposed to say it if you genuinely mean what youâre saying. Itâs such a heavy word that I only say it very rarely and if you say it and donât follow up on what you said you have to fast for three days as repentance.
ya allah
ya is an addressing word? Like talking to someone or calling them? Like saying Oâ ( someone ) so ya allah means Oâ god
Al hamdullilah // hamdullilah
it means â praise/thanks to god â said when something good happens or when you feel relieved about somethingâ for example, my shirt is stained badly and Iâm worried it wonât clean well. I clean it and the stain is gone so I say â al hamdullilah â kind of like phew!. Sometimes people say it as an answer when theyâre asked how they are it can either mean things are good or bad but we preserve .
One more note is that with the name of Allah you should also be careful itâs not supposed to be written on papers thatâll get stepped on or lightly used in art because it also has its own weight itâs regarded heavily. Like even in home decorations it should be elevated and not overshadowed. If I have to throw away a paper I have to sit down and color over the name of Allah or burn the papers so it wonât get thrown in trash.
another note is that those phrases arenât Muslim exclusive. Some Arab non-Muslims use them as well. This is only my explanation from a Muslim perspective.
Another another note is this is what I can remember at the moment but if you have additions or enquiries let me know
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one of the best decisions i've ever made was to stop arguing.
i'd always been an arguer. i was defensive about everything and mindlessly contrary. it wasn't all my fault; i was (and still am) talked down to and patronized a lot, and when you live your life that way, you become kind of a raw nerve and dedicate a lot of energy to trying to prove yourself. someone even told me once, "it's just fun messing with you. you get so upset."
at 23, i was working in an environment where about a half dozen middle aged conservative men were always telling me what to do and explaining things to me. i either argued with them when they said heinous things or stewed about it for hours or even days. and so my new year's resolution one year was simply: no arguing.
it felt a little like defeat at first, like i was no longer standing up for what i believed in, even though no matter how right i was or how much proof i had for my claims, no one had ever been swayed by anything i told them. part of that was because they had no respect for me and didn't take me seriously; the other part was the simple truth that arguments are almost never productive. when someone says something and you immediately reply with, "you're wrong and here's why," a wall goes up and nothing can go over it.
i couldn't just let these men talk at me though, so i started asking questions. not leading questions, not with an intention to prove a point or walk them into a corner. i genuinely wanted to understand how they came to shape the opinions they held. i realized that understanding and agreeing are two different things, and just because i seek to understand doesn't mean i condone.
a truly fascinating thing happened: these men walked into corners all by themselves. it turns out nobody had ever actually tasked them with speaking their opinions aloud to a neutral audience. no one had ever been sincerely curious about them and their views. sure, their loved ones probably asked, "how are you doing?" all the time as a show of affection, but that's much different than, "what do you think?"
knowing what i know now, i think that's true of everyone. how many people ask you for your opinion and listen to what you have to say without speaking their opinion back to you? without judging you? how many people actively and intentionally try to understand you?
it's been over ten years since my resolution and i think i can count the arguments i've gotten into on one hand. one finger, even. it's amazing what happens when someone tries to rile you up, pick a fight with you, and your only response is, "can you elaborate on that?"
you can work someone into a very open and vulnerable state when you ask questions. they eventually run out of their usual talking points and move into the personal. when i do this, it's not like therapy; i'm not trying to help anyone. and it's not like teaching; i'm not trying to educate anyone. i just want to understand how people reach the conclusions they've come to. even after all these years of asking questions and not arguing, it still amazes me how few people in this world feel understood, and how easy it is to get them to open up when you say, "i want to know what you think."
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#recognizing when you're having a trauma response is so empowering. genuinely#i think it's a little bit funny that it's the same every single time and yet it still takes me a While to realize 'oh i was just triggered#by a similar scenario again'#it's like when u go thru All the Signs ur period is abt 2 hit and ur still blindsided by it#it's like that#but it sucks every single time because i spend like. the whole day unable to breathe and trembling and freaking the Fuck out and just#you just feel insane man#it's so frustrating. to be mid panic and not realize it and you're trying to troubleshoot shit with people and you're not able to say All#the Right Things you want to because your brain has your chest in a chokehold#it makes me feel so so frustrated afterwards but also it helps me breathe easier knowing Why y'know. just a lil bit#it helps me to take things apart and see it for what it is n separate my emotions from Scenario#like. 'oh i was freaking out so bad because this is something that's happened again and again and again and my body is Physically rememberi#what came afterwards every time and that's why. i'm Not insane i'm just remembering shit again' n#i dunno#it's a pain because things really aren't that deep or a situation could be so simple but because you're freaking out everything is so much-#Bigger than it actually is and you feel so small and just. god#i'm tired i wish i could turn it off. *shakes fist* menacing thing#raa#i'm gonna take a nap#sap says#i might delete this one later but i did just wanna put like. a positive note y'know n not have this be a Vent#i'm getting better at recognizing when this shit happens n if someone readin this struggles with it too then i hope you do too#it'll be alright
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TOP 10 PERSONAL FAVE MOVIES TO WATCH WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE ASS
I don't like movies that stress me out because life is already stressful but I DO love catharsis comedy found family friendship fantasy and violence so here are my top 10 movies and series to have a good time watching
Numbered for convenience but not in any particular order
John Wick 1 and 2: An ordinary man grieving the loss of his wife gets dragged back into his past as a shadowy, invisible world of international killers for hire is slowly revealed to be living among us. A love note to set design, lighting, and choreography. My favourite part is fixating on the symbolism. DO NOT WATCH 3. 4 is okay. DO NOT WATCH 3. There is a dog death in 1 that will make you cry so skip that part if you have to. DO NOT WATCH 3.
The lord of the Rings, all 3, extended edition best watched if you're on the couch with the flu and expect to fall asleep OR if it's your day off and it's raining outside OR if you have like 5 people lounging around in pajamas
Six Underground: Essentially an hour and a half long car commercial music video with found family and a fresher take on acommon plot. Ryan Reynolds essentially writes and directs a Michael Bay movie where 6 independant criminals gather together to overthrow a violent foreign dictatorship. You show up for a dumb heist and walk out ready to build a guillotine. TW for violence, car crashes, chemical warfare, and genocide. A very cathartic ending. Does unfortunately do the whole "vague, impoverished middle-eastern country" thing but the citizens are actually show as human beings which is a nice change of pace and oh wow that's depressing isn't it
The Princess Diaries 1 and 2: A sort-of-a-loser teenage girl, played by a 2001 Annie Hathaway, learns that her late father was a king of a foreign nation and must become a confident and responsible leader for his people. There is a scene in the rain where you will experience emotions. Best watched with snacks. 2 features an enemies-to-lovers type deal with Chris Pine.
Ella Enchanted: A shrek-style semi-musical fantasy romance in which a young woman is cursed at birth to do everything anyone tells her to do. Features several Queen songs and dance numbers sung by Annie Hathaway and that guy who plays the sad dog guy in Hannibal.
Stardust: A huge loser travels from 1800s England (?) to a magical world in order to fetch a fallen star for the insufferable love of his life before she marries a massive douchebag. The huge loser? Charlie Cox. The star? A living person. Also a whole bunch of princes are ALSO looking for them as a race for the throne while discreetly killing each other off. And also a bunch of witches want to eat her so they can be young and sexy. 11/10. I used to watch this 10 minutes at a time on a YouTube channel that posted it in chunks filmed on a digital camera in their living room
The Last Holiday: Queen Latifah, playing someone played by Queen Latifah, has been working an underappreciated minimum wage job for years, living a safe and conservative life trying to lose weight and save money. Then she finds out she has months to live, and decides to finally quit her job and blow it all on one massive luxury holiday vacation complete with five-star dining, making friends and finding love and confidence along the way. It's definitely corny but it makes me so happy thank you Queen Latifah
Zathura: It's the plot to the original Jumanji but in space instead of the rainforest. But listen to me: There's a twist reveal at the end that you need to pretend isn't there. It is vitally important when you get to that part- and you will know what part when it happens- that you pretend it didn't. Otherwise, a fresh and enjoyable adventure for any age!
Redacted cause I haven't seen it in a long time and it may be worse than I remember, gotta rewatch
Bullet Train. You go in expecting a ham-fisted find-the-mcguffin style action comedy and are blindsided by excellent narrative symmetry and genuinely likeable characters. Fresh takes on old themes and creative action sequences. My little brother said "It's good", and he's a man who once sincerely argued that Lord of the Rings could have been better. It's fun and punchy violence with just enough smart stuff to not let your brain get bored
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One More Night
Summary: You and Bucky Barnes are fuck buddies for a while. The problem is you have feelings for him but you don't think he reciprocates and it just makes it impossible to continue your relationship. Little did you know how much he wants you and how hard he's trying to keep it casual.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: +18, friends with benefits, idiots in love, unspoken feelings, miscommunication/misunderstandings, angst with happy ending, unprotected sex, pet names, no mention of y/n
Word Count: 3.4K
All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.
It is one of those days when you feel absolutely worthless. It wasnât something you felt often before but nowâŠ. It is starting to feel like your new normal. You know itâs your fault, and it just makes you feel even worse. You let this happen when you let Bucky Barnes walk into your life without any consequences. Now he just has a free pass to destroy you anytime he wants.Â
It was supposed to be just fun. Something casual because you know he has no intention of settling down. Especially not with you. Not that he said any of those words but he doesnât need to. You just know it.Â
Heâs one of the popular guys in your college. Itâs not surprising considering how handsome and charming he is. Heâs also talented and hard-working. He takes school seriously unlike a lot of people around you. So when it comes to his free time, he just wants to have some fun, no strings attached and you were fine with this arrangement. You wanted to be close to him and this is the price: Your heart breaks every time.Â
You donât blame him but you definitely blame yourself because you put yourself in this position. If you werenât so pathetic, you could simply say no and this regularly hooking-up arrangement of yours would have ended. Yet you never said no and he never stopped coming back to you. Probably because itâs convenient, you canât come up with any other reason. Like who says no to an easy fuck, right? That is what you are. An easy fuck. Still, itâs breaking your heart every time he leaves your bed. You say to yourself âThis is gonna be the last timeâ but when the next text or call comes, you fold once again.Â
Thatâs how you ended up here. Your face is buried in the pillow while Bucky is pounding you from behind. It feels good. Actually, it feels pretty amazing. It always does but this time your emotions are overshadowing the physical pleasure. Tears are streaming down your face and you are grateful that he canât see it thanks to this position. Then a sob escapes your mouth and you feel betrayed by your own body.
âDoes it feel that good, doll?â He sounds smug but you canât answer him. Not while trying to hold the rest of your sobs back. That seems to worry him. He suddenly stops and when he takes a closer look sees that your eyes are filled with tears.
âHey, hey, hey! Are you alright?â He sounds genuinely worried. You try to say something but instead, more sobs come out. âWhat happened? Did I hurt you?â
He didnât physically hurt you, yet you are hurt. You donât know how to explain this to him. You feel embarrassed and angry at the same time. You pride yourself on how good you are at hiding your emotions. You donât want anyone to see you cry. You donât want anyoneâs pity. Yet here you are. Eyes filled with tears, sobs escaping your lips and your heart is shattered.
âPlease talk to me!â His desperate tone snaps you out of your thoughts. You try to turn on your back and quickly dry your tears.Â
âItâs fine. Sorry for killing the mood. I justâŠâ You hesitate for a second but no, you wonât back down this time. âI just canât do this anymore.â
âThatâs fine.â That wasnât the response you were expecting. âYou know itâs okay right?â His worry is so apparent in his voice. âYou can always tell me to stop.â What is he talking about? âIf you donât like something or you donât feel like it anymore⊠Just tell me next time and I will just stop.â
âThereâs no next time Bucky.â The words come out of your mouth before you can process them. You didnât intend to be so harsh but it came out so definite.
âWhat?â
âIâm telling you that I canât do thisâŠâ You wave your hand between you two. â...anymore. Iâm done. We are done.âÂ
âWhatâŠâ He sounds shocked and hurt at the same time. You try to avoid looking at his eyes while he struggles to find the right words. âWhat are you talking about? Did I do something?â
âYou didnât do anything. Itâs all my fault.â You have no intention to blame him. You know itâs on you. He never promised you anything.
âI donât understand.â He sounds so lost. âJust help me understand what happened, okay? I thought everything was okay.â
âThey were, for you. It was never okay for me.âÂ
You watch how his expression changes into something that breaks your heart even more. You never thought he would care this much but⊠apparently, he does. Maybe heâs not used to being rejected. Especially in the middle of sex.
âI⊠I donât know what to say.â He looks at your face and then around. âI thought this is what you wanted.â
âWhat I wanted?â You repeat his words without missing a beat. âI never wanted this. This is what you wanted and thatâs why we kept doing it. I was justâŠâ You hesitate for a second because you hate to admit it. âweak.â
âWeak? You are never weak.â
âOh, I am weak. This is why I kept saying âone more nightâ to myself whenever you called or texted me. Iâm weak as fuck and it makes me angry, okay? I shouldnât be like this.â
âDoll, what are you talking about?â
His confusion confuses you as well. Canât he see how much heâs hurting you? Is he really that blind or maybe he just doesnât care.
âThis arrangement might be working for you but itâs not working for me, okay?â
âBut⊠this is what you wanted.â
âI never wanted this.â
âYou said we canât get emotions involved!â He sounds somewhat angry this time.
âBecause you didnât want emotions involved!â Your answer comes instantly.
âWhen did I ever say that?â
His question makes you stop for a second. He never said that but did he really have to? You know how popular he is. Everybody loves him. He has the prettiest face you have ever seen. You desperately wanted to be with him. You didnât care how.
âJust look at you.â
âWhat does that even mean?â Is he doing this on purpose? He surely knows everybody wants him. Why does he have to hear it from you?
âIt means you didnât have to say it.â
âHow does⊠I really donât understand you.â His confusion is written all over his face. The way he hesitates makes you realize you have to say it out loud to make him understand.
âYou are handsome. You are talented. Everybody loves you.â He keeps looking at you with confusion. He really doesnât get it, does he? âYou can have anybody you want!â
âApparently not.â Why does he sound broken?
âOh, come on!â Your reaction is instant. âYou know you can. Donât act humble. Iâm just easier.â
âEasier?â You donât miss the disbelief in his voice. âEasier?â This time it comes out more angry. âYou were never easy!â
âYou know what I mean. An easy fu-â
âDonât you fucking dare!â The tone of his voice startles you. You never heard him talk like this. âI never wanted just an easy fuck. Especially not with you but that was all I could get!â Your head flinches back slightly. What is he talking about?Â
âBuckyâŠâ He doesnât let you continue.Â
âI donât know what has gotten into you because this⊠what you called it? Arrangement, yes, was never my idea! You were the one who didnât want to involve emotions. You were the one who said anything more than this would affect our friendship. I never said that!â
âI was trying to protect myself!â
âYou never showed any interest to me!â
You blink a couple of times, trying to process that information. What did he think you were doing with him?
âWhat the fuck are you talking about?â
âYou never showed any interest in staying over. You never wanted to do anything outside the bedroom or wherever the fuck we were fucking. Whenever I tried to take you on a date, you came up with a lazy excuse.â
âUh⊠what?â
âI tried so many times, sweetheart. You never let me in. You were only interested in sex and now you are blaming me for it. No. Be honest. If you wanna end this thing, itâs fine. You donât need any lies. I get it. I knew it would happen eventually.â Heâs speaking so fast, you canât even find any opportunity to interrupt him until he stops.
âYou tried to take me on dates?â He squishes his eyebrows together like he canât believe you are focusing on that part.
âMany times. I suggested study dates, tried to take you on that concert, then that one comedy club thingâŠâ
âI thoughtâŠâ You donât know how to finish that sentence.
âYou thought what? You knew what I was trying to do and you werenât interested, so I finally gave up.â
âNo, no, no.â You jump from your awkward position on the bed. âI never realized.â
âWhat did you think I was doing?â
âI thought⊠they were activities with other⊠people. Not dates.â
âWhy would I take other people to a concert with us?â Oh, he really doesnât get it.
âI thought⊠you had plans with your friends and⊠you were⊠inviting me as well. Just to show⊠we are nothing more than friends.â
âOh, dear god.â He covers his face with both of his hands. âSeriously? Why would you even think that?â
You mimic him and cover your face with embarrassment. You donât want to say it. Especially not to him.
âI⊠just never thoughtâŠâ You donât know how to say it without making him realize how low you think of yourself. âYou were interested in anything more than sex.â
âIâm handsome. Iâm popular. Everybody loves me. Is that why?â He repeats your words with that god-awful mocking tone and it hurts to hear. What you donât realize is that heâs making fun of himself.
âYeah.â Your response comes out so weakly but he hears it.
He starts to laugh all of a sudden and all you can do is give him a confused look.Â
âGod you are so blind.â
âHey!â You instantly respond.
âHave you ever looked in the mirror?â You make a face but it just spurs him. âYou are gorgeous and smart. I always thought you were way out of my league.â
âWhat?â
âYou heard me. You are out of my league.â
âCome on⊠Thatâs-â He interrupts you again.
âPlease.â The way he says it makes you stop talking. âI have been struggling to come to terms with you not liking me. I just told myself, you have done everything you can. You tried so many times. Itâs a miracle she still wants to fuck you. I convinced myself this was all I could get so I tried to make peace with it. Now you are telling me you donât want to keep doing this. What did you think I was gonna think?â
He just baffles you with every word coming out of his mouth. You look at him, not knowing what to say or what to think, even.
âAnd you thought you were just an easy fuck? Jesus, doll. Do you have any idea how many times I prepared myself for rejection? Every time I called you, I thought you werenât gonna pick up. Every time I texted you, I prepared myself to hear ânoâ, and every time it did not come, I was the happiest man on earth because I had one more night with you!â
You donât know when it started but you start to feel tears filling your eyes.
âPlease donât cry anymore.â He moves his hand on your face and catches a tear before it drops on your cheeks.
âIâŠâ Itâs so hard to speak normally. âI never thoughtâŠâ
âWhat?â This time it comes out softer. You know he wants to hear it because he needs that assurance as much as you do.
âYou would actually like me.â
âLike you? Oh, doll⊠I donât like you. The word like doesnât even cover it.â The smile he gives you ignites something inside you. Something you tried to push down for a long time. Suddenly you push him back a little bit and his mouth falls open but he doesnât get the chance to say anything. You just sit on his lap, taking him back inside you and it slips right back in so easily. It makes you want to moan out loud but instead, you wrap your legs around his torso and trap him there.
âOh fuckâŠâ His moan is like music to your ears. Itâs so raw and unfiltered.
You donât say anything. Your hand wraps around his neck before you start to move. His hand quickly finds your breasts, squeezing them a lot harder than he ever did before.Â
âYou are so fucking gorgeous.â He says right next to your ear. You feel his breath on your neck and his lips attach to your neck as if he knows what you want. He starts gently. First, he sucks the skin and makes you whimper. Then his teeth graze the sore skin. When he finally bites the same spot, you realize he was just giving you some time to protest but it never came. His bite pulls a groan out of you and the way it hurts falters your rhythm.
âSorry, I couldnât resist.â He licks the same spot, trying to soothe the pain. âThereâs a part of meâŠâ He tries to find the right word. â...that wants to mark you. Show the world that youâre mine.â Fuck, is he serious? He stops for another second to ask âAre you mine, doll?â He sounds so nervous yet possessive.
âI am.â You move a little back and look into his eyes while saying that. âI have been for a long time.â
He grabs your cheeks with both of his hands and pulls you in for a long, passionate kiss. It's all tongue and teeth, making you burn with passion.
âIâm yours, too. I think I always have been.âÂ
Itâs your turn to show how much those words mean to you. You start to move again on his lap. This time itâs faster than before and it just makes both of you moan loudly. He wraps his arms around your body while he supports your movement by grabbing your ass and moving you a bit faster than before.
âShit!â It feels good but it also restricts your range of movement and he realizes it quickly.
âSorry. I just want to feel you all over me.â
You want to say itâs alright but heâs a lot faster than you. Suddenly you find yourself on your back. Buckyâs still between your legs. He never left inside you while changing the position.Â
âWrap your legs around me, baby.âÂ
God, the way he says it sounds like a soft order. You can practically feel the desire running through your veins. Your legs are automatically wrapped around his ass while he starts to move but he doesnât put any distance between you. His whole body is pressed against yours while heâs kissing and licking all over your neck.
Sex with Bucky never felt like this. It was always good. You donât remember any occasion you didnât enjoy it or reach orgasm. Yet this feels like real intimacy. The way heâs making you feel is indescribable. You can feel everything he said before while he moves inside you. How much he wants you, how much he adores you⊠The way he clings to you fills you with love. All of it enhances the physical pleasure. Loud moans escape your lips.
âSo⊠All this timeâŠâ Bucky starts to talk. âYou thought I was here because this is easy.â
Ah, fuck. He isnât gonna let that go, is he? You shouldâve known that. You roll your eyes in response but he doesnât see it. His head is still buried in the crook of your neck.
âAll this time⊠I was where I wanted to be.â Your annoyance quickly fades away as he keeps talking. âUnderneath your body.â
âYou werenât always underneath me.â You answer him with a playful tone.
âAs long as Iâm inside you, the position doesnât matter.â
âSoâŠâ You try to ask as quickly as possible before your sudden courage disappears. âYou havenât been sleeping around with anyone else.â
He raises his head just to look into your eyes.Â
âAll this time, you thought I was fucking other people?â
âI meanâŠâ You were just friends with benefits. What else you were supposed to assume?
âWere you?â
âWas I what?â
âFucking other people?â His question is a lot more blunt than yours.
âI asked first!â You sound so defensive all of a sudden.
âI canât live without touching you, smelling you, feeling you⊠I have been craving you non-stop, only stopping myself from calling you every day, just so I wouldnât scare you away and you are asking me if I have been fucking other people. Jesus Christ, doll. How blind are you?â
You are questioning the same thing yourself, to be honest. How blind were you? While trying to surpass your feelings, you were overlooking his, as well. Itâs just unbelievable.
âDoll?â You didnât realize you were lost in thoughts. âItâs fine if you have been.â It doesnât sound fine at all. It sounds like heâs trying to rationalize it so it would hurt less. âIâm not saying I wonât be jealous but itâs not like we were actually together.â
You start to laugh and he gives you a strange look.
âYou are such an idiot and you call me blind.â
âWhat?â
âI only ever wanted you, you moron.âÂ
His smile is so big and bright, itâs worth everything you two went through. His happiness is practically radiating. Suddenly, his lips are on yours, kissing you like a madman.
âYouâre only mine.â He starts to move inside you again and you can feel how close you are to coming.
âOnly yours.â Your words make him groan loudly.Â
âFuck that mouth of yours. Youâre gonna make me come before you.â
âYou can do that later.â You tease him while moving your hips to meet him.
âIs that a promise?â
âIt can be. Only if you fuck me just a little harder so I can finally come!â
That makes him move away from you. He stands up and without losing any time, pulls you on the edge of the bed. You know whatâs coming and it makes you smile like a fool. He positions himself between your legs while pushing your knees on your chest. In a couple of seconds, heâs back inside you but the position feels so much better this time. A loud moan leaves your lips every time he hits that sweet spot inside you.
âHarder, huh?â
âYeah. Just like that.â Itâs so hard to not roll your eyes with the pleasure heâs giving you. Itâs familiar yet it feels so different this time.
âMy girl wants it rough. Why didnât you just say so?â He sounds cocky thereâs also a hint of eagerness in his voice. You can tell heâs close.
âDo I have to tell you everything?âÂ
âFrom now on, yes. You have to tell me everything.â That authoritative tone pushes you over the edge. âEvery fucking thing you feel, okay? Every fucking thing you want. I wanna know everything!â
âYes!â You practically scream. You donât know if you are answering him or just screaming because of the way he makes you feel. Your legs are shaking violently while your whole body tightens up. âFuck yes. Please, please, please, donât stop!â Your eyes are closed while you are riding your high.
That makes him groan so loudly. Even though you canât directly look at his face anymore, you just know heâs about to come. He starts to pound on you so forcefully, it just unlocks another level of orgasm for you. Both of your moans fill the room and he keeps going until he empties himself inside you. After what feels like an eternity, he pulls out of you and lays right next to you.
âFuck, that wasâŠâ The struggles to find the right word.
âOn another level?â You offer to end the sentence for him. Thatâs exactly how you feel.
âYeah.â He doesnât miss a beat. âWe shouldâve talked to each other before.â
âWe were busy doing other stuff.â You smile and he smiles back, knowing exactly what you mean.
âI guess we did everything other than talking things through, huh?â
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes one shot#sebastian stan#marvel fanfiction#bucky barnes x reader smut#bucky x reader#bucky x you#my stories#college bucky barnes#college bucky barnes x reader
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You literally posted that chart blaming ppl who abstained from voting and then replied snidely to someone who pointed out that it's victim blaming. You don't want to talk about genocide because you know that you're in the wrong for shaming non-voters
That post has literally nothing to do with Gaza. I didn't even talk about Gaza in response to that comment, I just said that if they truly did not believe Harris was preferable to Trump they had nothing to complain about. If Harris wouldn't be better, then Trump being president is not a metaphorical crime, and therefore there are no victims to blame.
I am shaming non-voters, I'm right to do it and I'll do it again and again and again and again. Choosing not to vote is shameful. I think that even about elections without Donald Trump on the ballot because I have a strong sense of civic duty but it's extra shameful in elections like 2016 and 2024. If non-voters genuinely believe Trump being president is not meaningfully worse than Harris being president, they won't feel shame and they won't care what I think. The problem is that non-voters know they're in the wrong because they can see what's happening as clearly as anyone else. When people ask them "can you honestly say Kamala Harris would [pick anything Trump has done in the last 16 days]?" they never say "yes." Because they can't.
No one wants to actually make the argument that refusing to vote for Harris over Gaza was worth the suffering Trump's election is causing, because it didn't do anything to help Gaza and it didn't pressure Democrats into agreeing with them. The only thing it did was make non-voters avoid feeling bad about voting for Harris. But now they feel bad anyway because they have a sinking feeling that Trump winning is worse. Most of the non-voters now whining wanted Harris to win so they would get the benefits of Harris being president and Trump not being president, but they wanted her to win without their votes so they didn't have to feel bad.
I don't want to talk about Gaza because it's a serious and sensitive topic and I don't feel informed enough to speak about it on my blog, especially when my political posts have been getting thousands of notes. I posted that ask to dissect the insidious pro-Trump rhetoric, not to address the content, and I did not want the piss on the poor website to have a slapfest using people's extreme suffering to score cheap shots at each other in the notes.
The term victim-blaming is for, like, victims of sexual assault and domestic violence. It's not a magic word to avoid taking responsibility ever. Grow the fuck up.
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GB Patch Games: Response About Sensitivity Reader
[Some of you might not have heard of this happening, but I wanted to address it across the board]
Hey everyone,
I want to make a post about the screenshots of comments from one of our sensitivity readers. The situation is that neither me or Rose want people to feel uncomfortable with Our Life: Now & Forever, but Rose hasnât done anything terribly wrong and isnât going to be punished.
The comment about OL MCs wasnât meant to be genuine hatred towards all male players/MCs of OL. Rose wrote a reply about it-
"Hi everyone! This is Rose, I want to address the male MC comment since it was taken wildly out of context and without the lengthy discussion that was after it. I don't hate male MCs, in fact far from it, male MCs are integral to the story in OL:NF as female and trans MCs are. I think the relationship they could potentially have with Qiu could be a great asset in my opinion as they figure out their gender alongside the MC. The discussion itself was about how I noticed players were sticking to heteronormative norms by shipping Tamarack with a man purely out of societal norms than it was genuine thought into the characters and how I personally wished there was more sapphic relationships with Tamarack or just Tamarack with trans characters as a sapphic trans person myself. I didn't mean to offend anyone by it as no one but my friends who understood what I legitimately meant behind my message and it definitely wasn't meant to be seen seriously. I am sorry regardless to anyone I have offended and I love your male MCs regardless."
And most of the comments were about me. Iâve seen screenshots of the full conversations and theyâre not as harsh as the cropped snippets made them out to be. It was longer discussions about not including Derek in any base game Moments for no good reason and not having any plus-sized love interests in OL1 because I was afraid players wouldnât accept it. Thatâs not a lie, itâs what I decided for the game I created, and it is ridiculous of me. Iâm the one who should be feeling embarrassed over how OL1 will forever be that way, not the people who remember that I did that. Iâm not perfect and Rose actually cares more about the players than making me feel like I am flawless.
I also donât want to tone police an employee venting about their boss in private, on their own time. Both the OL games deal with personal, important topics. This is sensitive work, and it can bring up frustrations. Sometimes people do use harsh words among friends, but they wouldnât ever say it to a person seriously and directly.
I understand if you wouldnât want to see anyone speak badly of a dev you like, but I promise itâs not a point of contention between me and Rose. I donât feel mistreated in anyway. Rose genuinely cares about the Our Life series, and thatâs why they get fed up with me over certain parts of the game.
Rose has never been unkind or unreasonable to me when working on the project, and their advice is detailed and well-explained. They do care about the game and want it to avoid having content that upsets people because of my own ignorance/shortcomings.
This being shared publicly from a private server is targeting Rose and seems to be a continuation of things that have happened before this. I donât want this to continue happening. If you do still have concerns over the one comment about the community, you can let me know. But again, I donât want people being mistrustful of Rose on my behalf for comments about me in conversations with missing context.
Do not send angry messages to Rose about any of this. Weâll do our best so that OL2 will be better than I was before. Thank you to everyone who reads this and participates in the community!
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