#like it is genuinely okay to say “i have empathy for the people going through this but i genuinely have to figure my shit out rn”

[sadlittleratboy]

As someone who works in mental health: Self-care (a word I think people sometimes misunderstand to mean "treating yourself", and while it can occasionally encompass a little treat, it is often more like maintenance, things like: having fun, relaxing, and even chores like dishes or brushing your teeth daily) is literally the only way you can continue to do emotional labor for people. You cannot pour from an empty glass, and it's true that you have to put on your oxygen mask before helping others. If someone is making you feel guilty for taking care of yourself they are not your friend and are in fact miserable people, or straight up lying to you (practicing their self-care in secret). Take breaks, don't involve yourself in every fucking tragedy that's happening in the world, or even involve yourself in none of them if your own life is imploding. The nightmares will still be there when you are ready to tackle them, if you ever get to that point. You are allowed to take care of you. Being self-centered is not always a bad thing. Always putting others first will inevitably make you a bitter person who's unwilling to help anyone with anything. Put yourself first when you need to, and understand that so many Not Good things are happening in the world at the same time it is genuinely unreasonable to think you need to speak on all of them.

And the argument of "you get to shut it out/turn it off and these people don't" is awful, by the way. Just because there is misery in the world does not mean you have to be miserable. Everyone has shit going on that feels like it could be world ending, and while obviously you should be empathetic in understanding that someone might be going through something more disastrous/dangerous than you, but that does not mean you aren't allowed to give yourself peace and happiness. Ultimately, that is what everyone is trying to do right now, even if it's just for an hour.

"how can you be blogging about fun stuff while this horrible thing is going on?"

there's always horrible things going on somewhere. if you refuse to calm down until it all stops, all you'll do is give yourself a stroke

[huellitaa]

why people don't like you ₊˚⊹ 💬🎀

okay this is not as harsh as the title suggests but i wanted to put it literally bcuz this is a problem i've struggled with for the longest time. im gonna be brutally honest here. there are so many reasons why ur not of the social status you want to be or don't have as many friends as you like yadda yadda yadda. SO ,, here's my thoughts on why that's the case , and how to help! 🫶🏻🎀💬

──★ ˙ ̟🎀you're fake

whether its cuz ur trying to "fit in" or because you have a completely different personality stored in the back for everyone you meet, ur fake. its very simple. its not necessarily a bad thing, it just means ur insecure.

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?

stop trying so hard girl. it's not that deep. there are 8 billion people on this earth and counting, u really think this person's gonna matter when ur living ur dreams and thriving even more than you ever imagined you could? no. move on. next please!

find out who the fuck you genuinely are. you're never gonna live your life if YOU aren't the one living it. once you get a start on finding who YOU are it's gonna make you more authentic -> more magnetic -> more attractive in every single way, including social.

u arent obligated to fit in. think about the type of people that you see in the street and you stare a while at, the type of people who stand out from a crowd for whatever reason, the people u look up to, ur idols who you could never imagine to meet in a thousand years; do you think they fit in? do you think merging with a crowd is what made them appeal to you so much? no. think abt that.

wake the fuck up and realise u deserve better. why are you neglecting yourself by hiding yourself from the world? would u do that to anyone else? would u get anyone else to change themselves just so they can fit in? girl get a hold of urself!!! you've been through so much and youve made it so far and yet you're still pretending to be someone you aren't?? you deserve SO much better. people who truly deserve you will always love you for you, no one else.

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ur too awkward / anxious

i want to preface this by saying theres nothing wrong w this at all and i completely understand but ur gonna face some problems of people interacting with you. or you interacting w them. or both. i was diagnosed w generalised anxiety disorder when i was 11, so i understand how much this can impact ur life not just socially but in all areas.

⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?

first thing im gonna mention to preface is this can be a symptom of an underlying condition u may need to get checked out. if its impacting ur everyday life please seek therapy, i am not a professional and cannot help u w this, even if i'd like to. i love u ♡

find what is making u anxious. what about social interaction is scary to you, and why? why does interacting w others make u nervous? is there a specific thing ur worried about or u find nervewracking? always. find. the root!

have compassion and empathy and patience w yourself. its perfectly okay and normal to some extent to feel like this and of course we're all gonna feel like this sometimes but its important to treat urself with care, especially in these times.

treat urself as u would a child. i recommend treating urself like a friend a lot but when ur in a delicate and emotional state like this its better to treat urself like ur ur own child. take care of urself with the same love and attentiveness as you would your own children and give yourself time and take care of yourself to work through the issue. ♡

break things down and take it slow and simple. break it into steps and PUT. YOURSELF. FIRST until u feel able to go back out into the public again and be That Girl ♡

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ur straight up mean

this can be anywhere from just being generally disinterested in people, being constantly negative all of the time to being just really shitty and rude. we all have the same potentials and possibilities but sometimes we can fall into the trap of negative patterns when interacting with others, which is okay. everyone messes up sometimes. but the important thing is is that we fall back out of that and become even better for it!

💬𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?

try ur best to put ur ego aside and think about yourself from an outside perspective. would you wanna be friends with you? if you were another person, how would you think people feel around you?

(🗒🎀 note: if that's too difficult, create someone in ur head or mentally assign ur traits, the good and bad, to someone you dont really know, and think ab how youd feel around them. insecure? jealous? confident? excited? nervous? think about it.)

i know it sounds weird but literally just sit down and talk to people close to u when you get the chance or the opportunity comes up and ask if anything you do comes off rude or blunt or abrupt or any sort of negative trait you think might be the issue here. or just subtly (or directly, either one works) try and find out their opinions on you so u can figure out if that aligns w what and how u wanna be, and then how you can change that.

just be generally more sweet and polite. people are easily gonna like you more if ur not a total dick. stop being mean to people, say please and thank you, compliment strangers, smile at everyone, put ur ego aside cuz its really not that deep girl.

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ur too nice / people pleaser

okay being nice is not a bad thing. there is a fine line between being THE nice girl and being A nice girl. there is a fine line between being kind and being a pushover. you don't have to sacrifice urself to be nice to people. being nice should go both ways!

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?

first things first, like all things and like i've said a billion times before, you need to address the root of what is causing you to act like this. this should always be the first thing you do when addressing any problem, esp w urself. why are you acting like this? what is causing you to endlessly seek approval like this and sacrifice urself in the process? think.

start saying no to people, even to the littlest things. if you want to do it then sure, but start saying no so much more often. it gives you a sense of control and shows you only you have a choice in the things you do in ur life, no one else.

define kindness. is what ur getting in return to this unconditional self sacrifice genuine kindness, or friendship, or respect, or attention, or whatever else you assume you're receiving from all of this? only you can answer that. ask urself what the genuine meaning of all the things ur trying to gain from this are and then see if that aligns w what ur receiving. (🗒🎀 note: also read this post of mine for more on this! ♡)

again, therapy is gonna help a lot w this. if this is making an impact on ur life, social or otherwise, then i am not a professional and cannot help u w this (as much as id like to). ily and i believe in u ♡

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 you seem "unapproachable / intimidating"

people are threatened by talent. people are threatened by beauty. people are threatened by what they aren't. so, congrats! you've achieved your goal! 🩷💭

🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?

i told my therapist once that people have told me i seem rude, unapproachable, intimidating, etc. and i felt really upset about it because i dont wanna come off that way. i wanna be nice and approachable and someone people can talk to. and she asked me what i would do if my favourite celebrity or famous person or whatever was my age and was walking through my school. i told her i'd think they were really cool and want to be friends with them, but wouldn't be sure how to go about it bcuz they'd be super intimidating. think about that.

🗒️🎀 note: but if you do find that people say this or act like this around you a lot, then you might need to do some introspection and ask urself if anything ur doing makes people feel like that rather than their own insecurities and mindset. ♡

i just want to quickly add that not everybody is going to like you. everyone feels a general sense of dislike from time to time and this post is what i mean by that, NOT how to make everyone like you bcuz that's literally impossible and something you shouldn't waste ur time and energy on. as harsh as i may have been in this post ur amazing and i love u no matter how much improvement you have to do ♡ i love you and am proud of you and you should be proud of yourself too!

all my love... 💬🎀🫶🏻💗

[causeimcrayzeebee]

MAJOR DRDT CHP 2 EP 16 SPOILERS

hey guys what the FUCK JUST HAPPENED. holy SHIT. never ask a gay person what happened October 5th 2024.

first can i say that the execution was phenomenal. i miss ace SO MUCH already but goodness the ending hurt. i had a feeling he’d die of fear once the execution started but that did NOT make it any easier to watch. holy shit.

i love how much self reflection happened. Ace, after all this time of being unable to repent for the harm he caused, instilled that motivation to be better into Arturo to save Levi’s life. from being called a coward by teruko to calling someone else on their cowardlyness was honestly kind of cathartic to see. ngl im excited to see what’s ahead for arturo after this!!

despite Teruko’s whole speech about how she won’t die, Levi jumped in to save her. he says he doesn’t understand human empathy but this was pretty damn close. even tho she assured everyone she’d be fine, Levi tried to save her anyways, but again it could just be driven by his need to do what he thinks a good person would do. praying he survives cause holy shit. him saying that he doesn’t understand Ace and Ace trying to push him away even more really stung….

MonoTV’s reset actually caught me so off guard. i kinda love it tho, it really displays the tone shift. ofc this killing game has been fucked up from the start, but it’s gotten even darker now as the main source of humor as well as comical incompetence is no longer who we knew it as. very likely that monotv won’t have another slip up like losing who’s motive is who’s again next chapter.

terukos development…. holy shit. I can’t stop saying holy shit bc tbh all of these are my thoughts immediately after finishing it and im still recovering from shock so take these with a grain of salt. i absolutely love how her arc has gone. as many have said previously, Ace is an example to Teruko what the isolation she forced herself through can do to people. Ace is the tragedy that could befall her as well. not to make things about percy jackson, but it’s very akin to the luke and percy foils (ik it’s not the same thing really I just wanted to mention their character foils) Arei is one side of the coin, and Ace, and Teruko if she kept going how she was before this trial, are the other. Arei was able to own up to her mistakes, and the others weren’t.

There’s also something that really displays their similarities when Teruko has to stay behind to cry because she’s too cowardly to face the group this way. Might just be because of timing but yk just a thought. Teruko was essentially admitting of guilt for Xander’s death and missing him, as well as Min. It really is easier to pretend as if everything is out of your control, even when you could have done something. Teruko has to learn about what’s beyond her dichotomy of blame and fate.

okay guys. let’s get this out of the way. um. this sprite is NOT helping you beat the mastermind allegations Whit. I actually jumped out of my seat seeing this sprite, it was actually quite horrifying to witness this. in response to Min’s execution, Whit had hardly much of a reaction, which has been a bit suspicious but likely has to do with how he grieves considering his mother. This tho…. i can’t tell if it makes him more or less suspicious (genuinely if anyone wants to talk about things that either prove or disprove Whit mastermind theories pls go ahead im so interested in what people think cause im at a loss). but like…. why is his hand behind him. what is he doing.

genuinely so wild how this whole time, Whit has only show a significant amount of care for Charles. yea i love charwhit they gay as hell, but even so, this specific focus that Whit has when it comes to Charles is something that, if Whit really is the mastermind or even just a traitor, it could be reaaaallllyyy bad news for Charles. I would not be surprised if he was trying to get close to Charles to make it hurt as much as possible when he revealed himself to be the mastermind or something of that nature. Or it could just be him having grown an attachment to Charles in some way (again pls lmk what you think about whit!!!) We’re not getting the happy love story we want but what did we expect when it’s a fanganronpa.

so yeah those are my thoughts on the ending of chapter 2! I planned to do a quick funny post and yet here i am writing analysis for half an hour. goodness. anyways to make up for funny post, i saw this part of Ace’s execution and my first thought was bungo stray dogs reference (crowd starts booing).

[mr-walkingrainbow]

Did anyone else just?…. Hate the finale?

Monster high G3 Finale spoilers below!

Okay. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not hating on the being true to yourself message. That was sweet. And i genuinely got moved when hearing Headmistress Bloodgood talk about Deuce Draculaura and Clawdeen. That was so fucking sweet and op.

but? What the fuck. Did everyone just up and forget about toralei? Why did the writers think it was okay for them to completely spit on her and Clawdeens relationship?

We open and what’s the first fucking thing Clawdeen does? EXCLUDE TORALEI FROM A BOO CREW MEETING. Like?!? What the fuck Clawdeen. She did that shit in the season 1 finale and realized how wrong that was and apologized.

and so what?! She just? Forgot that shit? Decided Toralei was untrustworthy again? That all of their character growth meant nothing?!

not even that but toralei even calls after them. She almost begs them to include her and Clawdeen literally slams the door in her face.

then Toralei enters mentioning the little paws. And Clawdeen just shoves all the kids onto her and still doesn’t include her in the plan. She even shoves whiskerene on her. Which. Ngl. Whiskerine was acting a hell a lot like fucking Catarina at the beginning. So for Clawdeen to do that knowing Toralei’s past is fucking LOW.

NOT EVEN THAT. But what was one of Clawdeens last lines in season one? Something along the lines of ‘And I gotta help toralei recover with the aftermath’

CLAWDEEN DIDNT DO SHIT?! She literally didn’t help toralei AT FUCKING ALL. In fact NO ONE DID. Everyone continued to ignore the fuck out of her and not a single person helped her. Except maybe the Hawk cheerleading coach. But literally NO ONE helps toralei. Toralei goes through all the shit she went through in family day on her own and then all of that is just NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN. Besides one throw away line that her and her mom are in family therapy.

like HUH?! Then the finale comes. NOTHING. We have NO FUCKING IDEA what happens to her. We have no idea where she’s even LIVING. We have no idea if her Mom is changing. Or is still being a continuous piece of shit. Like?! Hello. Maybe I’m just being silly. But as someone who also has an abusive mother. As someone who connects with toralei so deeply. Too see her basically shoved to the side. Ignored. Left out again. Not get any update if things are going better or not. Is absolutely soul crushing. Like some Giant confirmation that her life isn’t any better and nothing changed and everything is still horrible?!

And what the fuck. Where did all my Clawdeen and toralei interactions go??? We were giving so much Toradeen and then it just? Stopped? Not even a crumb? It’s pathetic. It’s depressing. The idea that you build this beautiful friendship only for Clawdeen to exclude toralei AGAIN in the finale hurts me so bad. Like no matter what you try people still won’t trust you.

Whiskerene only changed because of TORALEI. Like. If anything, Toralei should be the wereruler. She’s made the biggest changes. She cared for the school and all the kids in Clawdeens wake. She doesn’t even get credit for that.

Clankie is adorable. I did love that. Draculaura and Clawd are adorable. Loved them.

but like? Come on. The shapeshifter ending felt like such a cop out. He shifts into a random polar bear form and what? He’s forgiven? He imprisoned people for MONTHS. Posed as others for who knows how many years. I’m not saying I don’t have empathy. I do. But I feel like they closed that aspect way to damn quickly.

I’m mainly just in tears about toralei. For them to give her all this trauma and backstory. Just to give us zero resolution AND have the boo crew continue to exclude and not stand up for her? That’s fucking heartbreaking

[mazeinthemiroh]

Hi, I’m having a really rough time with a lot of bad going on right now.. if you wouldn’t mind, could you pls do a bang chan scenario where he comforts you? or you can do an skz reaction based on it, up to you. I just rly need some comfort right now…

how stray kids comfort their s/o

genre: fluff, hurt / comfort

word count: 0.8k

warnings: mentions of food

a/n: hey sweetie. i'm so sorry you're going through a tough time rn :( thinking of you <3 i took the liberty of doing a ot8 reactions on this for, yk, ultimate comfort purposes. i hope this helps in some way. take care <3

bangchan

he's a natural comforter, that's just who he is. so going to him when you are struggling seems like the only thing to do; it just feels right. he's got you wrapped in his arms immediately, the softness of his muscles squeezing against your frame as he rocks you slowly from side to side, kisses the top of your head and rubbing a hand up and down your back to soothe you. he encourages you to cry; he doesn't want you to hold back. of course, it completely breaks his heart when you do cry, and he will get misty-eyed himself. but he will kiss your tears away and hush your cries, before pulling you back in for another bear hug.

minho

he's not sure what to do at first because he knows people like different forms of comfort. his go-to move is to wrap an arm around your shoulder, rubbing your arm gently and cooing when you sniffle your tears back. "jagi, don't cry" he'll say, wiping any tears that slide down your cheeks. "don't be silly, you'll be ok." wants you've settled down a little bit he will be more affectionate, scooping you up in his arms and pulling you closer to his chest. he will make jokes here and there to try and cheer you up, and he will feel like he's won at life when you let out a little giggle. he just wants his baby to feel okay </3

changbin

he'll totally baby you. cooing and kissing the tip of your nose, he will cup your cheeks in his hands and tell you how much he loves you. he'll be so fluffy with you, taking you in his arms and cuddling you for as long as you like. he's also the type to do things for you. will make you a hot chocolate and grab a cookie, for good measure, bringing it over to you while he listens to you talk about what's wrong. then he's massaging circles your thigh, soothing you whilst remaining eye contact, nodding along to what you're saying and trying to see if he can help changbin best boyfriend alert

hyunjin

wraps you up in a fluffy blanket when he sees the tears form in your eyes. he wipes any stray away with his sweater paws. he gets very affectionate leaning on you and wrapping both his arms around your waist. but ultimately, he's definitely one that wants you to talk about it to him. he doesn't want to be left in the dark; he wants to know how you're feeling and why you are feeling, not so much as to help you, but more so that he can understand you. in his eyes, you can see his sincere interest in you as he urges you to pour out your feelings to him.

jisung

he's the type that wants to distract you. he thinks that, instead of dwelling on sad thoughts for too long, cheering yourself is the best way to go. mainly because, when he sees anything but a smile on your face, he gets worried. and when you cry? oh boy. he breaks a bit. so he likes to get that smile back on your face as soon as possible. and if he's the cause of your smiling, that's even better. he might say a little joke or even go as far as doing aegyo for you because he knows it makes you cringe and laugh. after a smile breaks on your face, he relaxes, before telling you it's all going to be okay.

felix

the ultimate comfort person™. there's something about felix that radiates such warmth. with anyone, he's just so welcoming and genuine. there have been so many people drawn to felix because he's so lovely to them. so when you need comfort from him, his arms are already open. his empathy is quite high so he can tell just by the change in your vibe that you're not okay. he'll want to talk about it more than anything else. will ask if he can do anything for you. might even cheer you up by baking some brownies for the both of you to share <33

seungmin

he wants to listen to you. he just wants to sit and listen as you open up to him completely. he'll let you do that. he'll let you and encourage you to pour your heart out to him, letting him know what's troubling you. it's important that you let your feeling about, and he's there to lend a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. he never lets go of your hand as he rubs the pad of his thumb on your palm, drawing circles to soothe you in a way you don't even notice at first. he just radiates pure comfort.

jeongin

he's quiet as he listens to you talk about what's wrong. he could tell you were upset, to begin with but he had no idea how upset you were. so, listening intently, he absorbs all the information your telling him, asking a few questions here and there. he commends you for making it this far and compliments you, telling you how strong you are. he also has the tendency to just feed you. stuffing you with ramen noodles and crisps and all sorts of comfort food. he believes food is the best medicine and you just can't argue with that!

[pearlcages]

can we have some neurodivergent arizona hcs?

Okay this is going to be significantly more than what you asked for, because I honestly— honestly!— believe that most if not all of Arizona’s neurodivergent behaviors are showcased in canon

And if this is not the post for you, then it’s not the post for you! Keep on scrolling, I will not be offended. But if you keep reading, you’re gonna have to take this for what it is: My interpretation of a fictional character. Interpretations vary. Mine is not gospel. But it is mine, and I like it, and I stand by it

I specifically headcanon Arizona as autistic, and this will be a post discussing that, but I've also seen some people say that they interpret her as ADHD and I'm all for it! That wasn't my reading, but there's a lot there to support it in canon. I just don't have an already developed argument for it

Disclaimer 1: Disclosing my autism here through Arizona— because let’s be real, there’s no way I would have noticed any of this if I wasn’t autistic, so there’s no way to avoid disclosing if I want to discuss this— is extremely vulnerable. Most of the people in my day to day irl life don’t even know that I’m autistic. I present in a very palatable, easily digestible way. People like me, and I get away with a lot because people like me. To me, Arizona screams autistic-but-charming, gets-away-with-a-lot

So let's start!

Part 1: Thank you for asking though... I'm super flattered. Super!

Or: Autistic honesty and masking to compensate

Arizona consistently exhibits straightforward, honest behavior that reads as rude to others. Like, all of the time, from day 1

As in almost the first words that come out of her mouth.

Arizona walks into her new position with roller-skates and a smile, immediately insults her predecessor to one of his coworkers, and then is genuinely confused when Bailey doesn't like her

One of the strongest arguments for autistic Arizona is the way she just says blatantly insulting, brutally honest things and genuinely believes that because she's smiling, and because it's true, that it won't be offensive. Which-- works? Kind of? She does get away with it! She's just out here saying whatever she earnestly believes all of the time and getting away with it

She also follows very specific social scripts, and very specific rules for engaging with other people (particularly in seasons 5-6) regardless of if those social scripts/rules are actually appropriate in the moment

The first example we see of this is 5x12 when Alex confronts her for asking him about his Valentine's Day plans-- Arizona knows that in a situation where she is left alone with a colleague for an extended period of time, she's supposed to make conversation. It does not occur to her that the timing might be inappropriate, because while she understands and acknowledges internally that they are both having feelings about what just happened, those feelings do not override her social script. She is unable to recognize the nuance of the situation, and thinks that Alex won't either-- and while she is ultimately positioned as "right" within the narrative of the show, it's interesting that she maintains this behavior (politeness script > genuine social tact) in situations where the show positions her as "wrong"

If you pay attention, Arizona is consistently very regimented in her politeness. She's been taught how to be polite, and she follows that script regardless of the situation. And when people react negatively to that, she's frequently confused

It's also important to note that 5x12 is an episode about empathy, and that Arizona is positioned as being the more empathetic person in this conversation with Alex. I've heard people--psychiatrists, even--describe autism as an "empathy disorder" which is something I choose not to engage with, and something that does not represent all autistic people. If we think of autism as an empathy disorder, then obviously we will not be able to conceptualize Arizona as autistic (Arizona who loves so much and so deeply, who goes into spiraling depressions every single time she loses a patient, who wants to be liked so, so badly)

Arizona is everything but unempathetic, but she does script and she does mask

The deliberateness she approaches casual conversation with, and her consistent inability to recognize when this script becomes inappropriate, reads as autistic to me!

Part of what makes her have such a distinct character voice is that hyper-specific scripting. You can always predict how Arizona is going to react, what Arizona is going to say, because she uses and reuses the same words/sentence patterns throughout her run on Grey's. Her way of speaking is always running along the same pattern with little to no deviation, even across years. I mean lbr, I'm calling it: script script script script script

Another perfect early example of Arizona's hyper-polite, overexuberant scripting is when she turns Callie down in 5x16

We have the smile-- and come on, that smile is masking if I've ever seen it

The rejection, followed immediately by an earnest but abrupt apology

And then-- then!!-- she literally insults Callie ("I work in peds. I spend my whole day around newborns, so I try not to in my personal life") and finishes it off with a thank you

So many viewers had an immediate negative reaction to Arizona after this scene, because it's "condescending" and "rude"-- which, yeah, that's a fair! But what's relevant here is that not only is she being entirely earnest, she's completely unaware that she's being insulting

Arizona genuinely believes that if she follows her scripts exactly, all of the time, nobody will notice. Which works insofar that people don't notice that she's autistic, they just think she's, like, super fucking rude

And isn't that interesting? Because we, as fans, recognize Arizona as someone who's extremely polite, who values politeness. But that's not how people react to her when they meet her

Arizona is straightforward to a fault, and she does not understand (and frequently does not notice) people reacting negatively to her because of it

You could argue that Arizona is completely aware that she's being insulting, but that argument would involve saying that Arizona doesn't care what people think about her, and I really do not see any canon support for that. Az deeply cares what people think about her. She cries when her boss is mad at her. She cries (rejection sensitivity much?)

This scene is also really interesting. Arizona says something truthful but insulting, and Bailey-- who knows her, and who is one of the people who unintentionally helps her manage how she's being perceived-- steps in, and she immediately backtracks. Because someone she trusts has indicated to her that she said the wrong thing. And maybe she would have gotten that just from the Chief's reaction, but at the end of the day she still said it. She said it, and she wasn't trying to be insulting-- she was just being honest. Arizona doesn't know where that line is.

I really cannot emphasize this enough: Arizona. Just. Says. What. She. Thinks.

All of the time!! She can't help herself-- she would stop if she could, but she can't, so she covers it all up with the biggest smile you've ever seen and lots of the most polite things you've ever heard in the most inappropriate contexts they could possibly be said in. And it works! Somehow, her raggedy duct-tape solution to accidentally insulting everyone she meets is remarkably effective

To me, this is masking. She's diverting attention from autistic behaviors specifically so people will continue to like her; through the smiling and the bubbliness and the gregarious chattiness, she's distracting from the fact that she regularly says extremely honest, inappropriate things

Speaking of Bailey-- let's take a look at this scene.

There's something about the genuine confusion in how JCap plays this scene that really stands out to me.

Arizona knows that Bailey has lost someone, and recognizes, empathizes, with the fact that she may be struggling to think about work-- but getting a negative reaction does not occur to her as a possibility until Bailey responds negatively (see image below)

Within the text of the conversation, Arizona says directly that she does not mean to be insensitive, but her values are too rigid for her to change tracks. More on that later.

Part 2: Maybe I don't understand people. I don't see things.

Or: Guessing how other people feel and sometimes getting it super, super wrong

This part is going to be pretty short, but I can't not include it

At the end of s5, Arizona says it, point blank:

And this is so early into her run on Grey's that it has to be understood as something fundamental about her character. The writer's want us, explicitly, to understand Arizona as someone who occasionally misses out on social cues and knows it

In either 6x1 or 6x2, After George dies Callie says, "And Arizona keeps sending me doughnuts." and we learn that that's what Arizona did when her brother died. She ate doughnuts. Doughnuts made her feel better, so she sends Callie doughnuts when George dies. That's how Arizona expresses empathy in times where she knows her script is inadequate, by treating people the way she wanted to be treated-- by caring for them in the way that makes the most sense for her

Something that a lot of autistic people do, and that a lot of non-autistics read as unempathetic, is connecting their personal experiences of an emotion to another person's experience of that same emotion. I.e., if you've recently lost a loved one, an autistic person may express empathy by sharing about when they lost a loved one. Another example is if you've just gone through a breakup, and autistic person may tell you about a breakup they've been through

This reads as self-centered and unempathetic sometimes, because it feels like the autistic person is centering their own emotions in a situation about you-- when really, they're just trying to connect

Which makes this conversation in 12x4 between Arizona and April hilarious, because she can recognize it in others but not herself

(April and Arizona are two non-diagnosed later in life autistic women with advanced masking, btw. Not only that, April and Arizona are the same kind of autistic, which is why their friendship is so special!)

Part 3: I'm a good man in a storm.

Or: Black and white thinking, moral codes, and autistic sense of identity

I've said this before, and I will say it again-- Arizona is a fundamentally moral person. She stands on her morals, and she suffers for her morals. Only the disruption of her fundamental sense of self takes this part of her away, because her sense of right and wrong is her sense of identity. Arizona sees herself as someone who is good, and she knows what, specifically, it means to be good

Love your country, love your family, protect the things you love. She doesn't deviate and she doesn't play around with it, ever. Arizona decides on something, and she follows through

In order to understand Arizona as a character, we have to isolate her fundamental beliefs. To me, these are kindness, service, and autonomy. We also must understand that outside of the post-crash decimation of her fundamental "self", Arizona does not behave in ways that go against her morals. Ever.

Arizona the idealist, Arizona the self-righteous, Arizona who lives and dies by her beliefs, who does not break her own rules. There's no room for interpretation; there's right, and there's wrong

One of the ways this manifests that I keep coming back to is her belief in autonomy. In 7x18 when it comes down to a choice between Callie or Sofia, Arizona chooses Sofia not because she, personally, values Sofia over Callie but because it's what Callie would want. It's the choice Callie would make. And, yes, Arizona hates that choice, but she honors it. Even if it means the love of her life, the woman she just proposed to, dies. Autonomy is a core value, which means she'll suffer personally to make sure it's upheld

And in s9, when her own autonomy is stripped away, she loses her shit. Not just because of the leg, but because it was her decision. Hers. And autonomy is a core value.

"What's different now? No, say it, 'cause it was perfect. It's not a decision that I should be making for you."

This isn't good and it isn't healthy, but it's a direct reflection of Arizona's sense of morality. She isn't being hypocritical here-- she's already shown that she's willing to let Callie die to respect her autonomy. It's not a 1:1 comparison because the situations are wildly different, but this is about idealism. It's not about what's best, it's about what's right.

Returning to that scene with Bailey from part 1. At first, Arizona does not realize that she is being inappropriate, but this scene is significant for more than that. In almost every situation (see: You're my old friend. Older. Older friend.) where Arizona misjudges the social landscape, she pivots very quickly.

This scene is a key example of Arizona's exception-- when being polite contradicts her core values. (In this case, service). Despite realizing that she has crossed a social boundary with Bailey, she pushes the conversation forward anyways, because not doing so would mean worse care for her patient.

"Dr. Bailey... I hear that. And I don't mean to be insensitive, but this kid? This kid's still alive. And I don't know what's wrong with him, not a clue, so I need you to work."

There are several scenes like this one, where Arizona makes this exception and only this exception to her sense of social propriety

It's rigid and uncompromising. There are specific closely held ideals, and a script, and those closely held ideals are the only reason to deviate from the script.

And she's super. freaking. judgmental. particularly when it comes to morality

One of the most horrific examples of Arizona's black and white thinking is when she tells Jackson about April's pregnancy, because it's the right thing to do. Or, it's the right thing to do... to Arizona. Because she fails to recognize the nuance and emotional undertones of April's specific situation. There is right (being honest) and wrong (lying) and she absolutely cannot recognize of the many choices between those things until she receives the overwhelming feedback that actually, she is wrong here

Arizona is an incredibly rigid character. She very rarely understands or seeks nuance unless specifically forced to. I think, in large part, this is why the cheating is such a significant character deviation for us as an audience-- and why Arizona never fully forgives herself for it. Everything that goes wrong in her life from that point forward is punishment for the cheating, and Arizona truly believes that she deserves it.

Even retrospectively, I believe there is a part of her that thinks back on the cheating as earning the plane crash, that wraps those two things up in each other until they're indistinguishable, and then justifies all of her future suffering in perpetuity through it.

The first time we see Arizona truly go against her own ideals has to be post-crash, because it would take the complete destruction of her sense of self for her to go through with something like that. She has to be completely detached from her identity first, because there is no separating her morals from her "self". There's no bending that code until she's so far gone she no longer knows who she is. Arizona simply does not compromise. When she does, it is the kind of compromise that is so unreasonable, so extreme, that it ruins her life-- and she never forgets that. No nuance, ever. She is either living and dying by her morals, and setting fire to them in one wildly destructive action

April does something pretty similar during her crisis of faith, and it reads as autistic there as well! "If I live in a world where my extremely strict morals no longer make the world make sense, then nothing matters and I must set fire to the world."

Part 4: Grey's Anatomy and accidentally writing autistic characters.

So here come the disclaimers: I do not think that Arizona was intentionally written as autistic, and if you asked Shonda Rhimes about it, I think she'd be deeply confused. Like, really confused

But, like, since when has writers writing autistic characters accidentally stopped those characters from being interpreted as autistic? Just look at Dan Harmon and Abed from Community

And Grey's is just so, so consistently guilty of this, because Grey's deals in these huge, larger than life personalities. It has to. Being larger than life is the heart of the show. Look at Cristina and April! They're these extremely different, complicated, deeply autistic-coded women, each with their own self-expressions and relationships to empathy. April is annoying and perky and lacks empathy and carries around a tear-stained notebook of self help book affirmations. And Cristina... I don't even think I have to go there, honestly

These are not characters written to be portrayals of women with autism, and frankly they'd probably be way worse representation for autistic women if they were. We don't let autistic women have varied or diverse presentations. We don't think of the pretty, charming, talkative doctor who likes babies and cigarettes as possibly being autistic but that doesn't mean she isn't. Undiagnosed adult autistic women are everywhere. Everywhere.

(And don't get me started on autistics and addictive tendencies, or how smoking is a great way to have something to do with your hands and mouth without looking weird)

I think a lot of the knee-jerk, negative reaction when people interpret beloved characters as autistic comes down to the belief that autism manifests in exclusively bad ways, ways that inherently make the character less likable

But a lot of the things I like about myself are associated with my being autistic. I'm meticulously detailed, I care very deeply about the things I'm passionate about, I approach my intimate relationships with intentionality and consistency, and it makes me a better writer. It makes me dedicated to being better. I like that I'm autistic! I wouldn't want to be neurotypical, even if sharing that with people is a vulnerable thing

So, I don't know, you don't have to agree with me but at least consider it

[femmefatalevibe]

What are some things you would have done differently? The most important lessons you learned throughout the years?

Hi love. Great question!

Things I would've done differently:

Stopped taking on/internalizing people's emotions sooner and never apologizing for my needs

Not allow myself to feel responsible for other people's drama

Took warning signs of people's codependency and victim narratives more seriously earlier in life

Reached out to others that earned my trust for support and allow myself to be more honest/vulnerable with them rather than resorting to hyper independence

Spoke up for my genuine needs and desires more

Expressed and follow-through on my "no" consistently and unapologetically

Let go of the belief that guilt trips can be worth emotionally entertaining or investing in

Learned that it is okay to disappoint people. Understanding that I don't exist to make others happy or comfortable

Most Important Life Lessons:

When evaluating who is trustworthy, see whose words and values consistently line up with their actions. Those who contradict and make exceptions for themselves are too self-involved to see you as fully human

Always live your life for yourself. Discover your personal values and aspirations. Do what you need to do to live in alignment with who you truly are, and don't let others' opinions stop you from working towards your goals. Don't make personal life decisions based on other people's feelings or opinions

You're always allowed to say no or leave a situation/relationship if you feel drained or disrespected

Your chosen family can or cannot be comprised of people who share DNA or are related by marriage. All that matters is that you have mutual respect and unwavering support from the people who have earned this role in your life

Emotionally distance yourself from anyone in your life who dismisses your emotions or experiences, attempts to obtain ownership of your life experiences when they fit their narrative, or expects you to put their needs above your own

Taking well-thought-out social and professional risks can greatly enrich your life

Don't be afraid to reach out to ask for help, advice, or connection. Most other people want the same thing and are happy to chat if they're available. Don't fall into the trap of trying to fix everything yourself. Only selfish people have these unrealistic expectations of you

Your health and sanity are your most important assets

When in doubt, advocate for yourself. Learn to discern when to express empathy and/or when to double down & stand your ground

There are (next to) no rules for living a productive and fulfilling life. Once your basic needs are met, and all essential bills/taxes are paid, the only genuine success metric of your life path is whether it allows you to feel generally fulfilled and satisfied on a daily basis

Set and stick to your boundaries. Prioritize interdependent relationships. Avoid codependency like the plague

Learn to praise yourself for all of your wins – big and small. Life is hard enough. Find ways to celebrate yourself as often as you realistically can – even if it's just getting up on time or cooking a healthy meal that day

Hope this helps xx

[oshiawaseni]

My sibling, who is an anime only said they would not be surprised if BKDK became canon considering the depth of their relationship, their interactions, and their character development regarding each other ... despite how Bones added in Izuocha scenes and cut out some critical BKDK moments in most of the seasons so far... And, seeing how one-sided the "love" is between Izuocha, which I believe is deep admiration as of reading the manga- I have to say I agree.

Izuocha, is fine on the surface but is unhealthy. Izuku would not pay attention to Ochaco they he would need to if they were in a relationship. And Ochaco only saw "Hero Deku" rather than all of "Izuku", which would cause her to unknowingly encourage Izuku's reckless self-sacrificial behavior.

BKDK is different because not only they know each other beyond the surface level, but they also have their sights on each other and the mere presence of their partner inspires them to become better and stronger people at heart because they have genuine love for each other...

I honestly do not understand what is in the Dudebros' mind other the fact that they are lacking emotional intelligence and critical thinking... but I will just enjoy what they are missing. (Sorry for rambling...)

Hi anon! Sorry it took me a bit to get back to you (reason in tags). Let me just reply to your ramblings with some ramblings of my own :)

I actually really enjoyed Season 6. The only thing I faulted Bones for, was creating that jarring opening that made out like Ochaco was the hero of the retrieve vigilante Deku mission (which sadly only fueled izuochas more on mhatwt), when it was 1000% Katsuki's doing and there is one panel which proves this beyond a shadow of a doubt.

See this? Who is the one standing in front of Shoto and Tokoyami, addressing the whole class? It's Katsuki! Not Ochaco! She was seated with everyone else. This is why it's so frustrating when they say she was the reason Izuku was brought back to U.A. That arc was all about Katsuki's feelings for Izuku and wanting to return his smile.

He was even so worried he lost sleep over it, wondering where Izuku was, if he was okay… he must have stayed awake in bed, thinking and thinking about Izuku and how he could get him back. Katsuki was used to Izuku being by his side, and it was the first time Izuku had willingly left it. It provided him clarity about how important* Izuku was in his life, which only made him worry even more. (*see also: crucial, vital, imperative, watch me emotionally die slowly inside if you aren't around me anymore.)

Katsuki losing sleep, at a time Izuku was not sleeping was such a symbiotic soul mates power move Hori added in for flavour. I love it SOOO freaking much. There are no lengths this man won't go, to prove how in sync they are with each other, how much they need each other, the empathy they share with each other, even on a completely spiritual level where they share in each other's sufferings, *without even knowing it* such as right here, just like Katsuki wants to share all of Izuku's burdens so that he's not crushed by them.

But with that said, though Bones really dropped the ball on the opening (and 5 previous seasons...*ahem*), there were a lot of curious changes that happened in season 6 that I did love, like Izuku dropping the "tachi" in his sentence which turned his line into "He hurt the person I love…" (instead of people)

and as we saw more of these additional changes Bones made, it got us wondering, did Hori have some regrets with the manga that he was unhappy about and wanted their romance to be more obvious? Was it only natural to get anime viewers up to speed before season 7, because they were going to find out through manga spoilers that Katsuki and Izuku are actually in love? I'd like to think so.

Changes I remember off the top of my head:

Reaching out for little Izuku's hand during Katsuki Bakugou Rising

Katsuki waking up and thinking "Deku…" and remembering his Rising sacrifice and being still hurt from it.

Izuku waiting until he was in Katsuki's arms before he apologised, which made their words of "I'm sorry" and "I know" more intimate and personal to each other. Like Izuku needed Katsuki's forgiveness the most, and Katsuki needed to let Izuku feel that he understands him the most.

Izuku's little "Ka-..." (the English dub did not catch it but I know other dubs did) as he was passing out, which made the entire hug scene feel so much more romantic.

"I'm gonna say your name when I wake up" vs "I'm gonna say your name when I fall asleep." BkDk: Always on each other's minds. All the time.

And one of the most interesting changes of all…

So get this, Ochaco gets a hand hold grab in the opening which canon-wise holds about as much weight as an "illustration" … and in the actual anime content, she grabs his wrist area instead of his hand like in the manga. Making her hand hold IN THE CANON CONTENT so impersonal. Almost as if to make up for the horrible opening they made. Why this was done still remains a mystery to us today… but I hope it's because Horikoshi asked them to make Izuocha stop being seen like a couple, and more like the friends they are.

And then, about the "brothers" "friends" comments antis love to make about bkdk. Well yeah, they're coping. In fact, Hori has shied away from labeling them friends several times when he could have! "Midoriya-kun is our friend" says Iida - with multiple people from the class, including Ochaco, presented in the panel… and Katsuki is nowhere to be found.

Or like when sAFO called Katsuki "Izuku's closest person" (motto mo naka ga ii) where it would have been WAY more natural to call him "shinyu," aka, "best friend." But that's the thing, Hori runs away from calling them friends like it's the plague LMAO

Really makes you wonder… was sAFO (I'd rather just call it AFO at this point because it's his personality being dominant vs Katsuki) alluding to hidden romantic feelings Izuku hides for Katsuki that his secret gaydar quirk picked up? Could be. In a way, at the time it happened, it felt to me like Horikoshi himself was talking to us through him, telling us very explicitly, "You're damn right. They're gay."

Either way, skirting around this label for them is being done on purpose by Hori. Like his hidden way of saying "Yeah they might be acting a bit more like the best friends they were always meant to be as kids, but their feelings for each other are not 'friendly' AT ALL. Because platonic friendship is not where these two are headed." And there are STILL hidden feelings they haven't managed to say to each other yet! The content Horikoshi has been itching to draw for YEARS that he is finally getting to. All that soft bkdk romance we've been waiting for is coming SO SOON!!! and I am HERE for it anon! 🔥

2023 will forever be known as the year of BkDk canon... these are very exciting times. <3

[insertsomthinawesome]

Hi! Do you have any TWST friendship headcanons about the dormheads? They are definetely a chaotic friend group!

Also love your art! It's so pretty!!

OH ABSOLUTELY. First of all, Thank you so much!! THat makes me so happy to hear ;;v;; ONTO SHENANIGANS: A LOT if not pretty much all of this falls into non-canon-compliant territory, and I'm only partway through Book 5 so I could either totally guess soimething or completely mess something up, but here are my braincells

Vil and Leona: I LOVE these two. I think they have some of the most fantastic worstie to bestie potential. And in a weird way??? I think Vil is the kind of person Leona needs? Like, Vil can be a little too harsh, and in my personal opinion too much of a perfectionist (Not for the character tho, just if he was a real person xD As a character trait its 10/10 good writing) but the fact that he refuses to stop seeing the potential in Leona??? Thats something that I really think Leona NEEDS. People who are like "What are you talking about? You have the possibility to be so much if you just tried." Like that last part is harsh yeah, but I think Vil really has this... he has this Rook-like ability to believe in the potential of other people in a way that isn't actually as cynical as it comes across. If he learned to work more with Leona than against him, I actually think the two of them would have such a strong power duo potential.

Leona needs to see Vil for the Roses rather than the Thorns. He needs to see more of what Vil is SAYING, where he's coming from rather than just the words themselves. I think if Leona really comprehended how much Vil believed in him, like, ACTUALLY believed in him, i think he would be genuinely moved, genuinely shook and full of wonder that somebody saw so much potential in him, as so much more than being a failure or a freak.

However I think if they actually became friends Epel might have to take a week off for mourning because he could no longer go to Leona to escape the wrath of Vil xD

Idia and Malleus: Okay so starsending started me on this one, I think they would actually really vibe. Idia is an introverted Loner, he has a hard time with high energy people who make a lot of noise. Mallues CAN be a lot, but honestly he tends to... not be. Its more like the A Lot follows him. ei when he interacts with Yuu and essentially just ends up being a nerd. The specific image i've had in my head, is i feel like Idia could play animal crossing with Malleus watching him, and the two of them could vibe for H O U R S. Malleus would make the occasional comment or go on the occasional tangent, but he seems less like he needs people to engage with him sometimes, and sometimes just like he needs people to listen. And Idia isn't actually that bad at engaging with people!! He's got internet friends (lilia lol) which means he does know something about sustaining relationships and talking to people I also think that Malleus would probably find Idia's way of talking fascinating SLDFKJSDLGJSLDJG. As long as he wasn't mocked for not understanding, he'd probably find it downright interesting to listen to Idia explain internet memes from 2010 and talk about the history of Loss. I also think that Idia could really be a safe and quiet spot for malleus when things are hard. I feel like part of Malleus's frustrations, and why we see him run away from Sebek and Silver, despite both of them being family he obviously loves, is that, with the exception of Lilia, Both of them make a BIG DEAL out of things. Silver tends to be quieter and less explosive, but they both do. Sometimes I think Malleus just wants to be alone to process, or not be pestered or questioned. I think Idia could potentially be that safe and quiet spot where he's ready to listen, but not necessarily interested in making a big deal about it. If they became better friends he might not even ask, just offer quiet empathy.

Kalim and Leona: -Spoilers for Leona's Union bday card, since it hasn't released in English yet- OH BOY.... THESE TWO. First of all!!! ANother relationship that I think could do a lot of good for Leona??? Kalim doesn't really need him for anything, but he's a well of low expectation positivity, somebody who I can see dragging Leona out to do things, or even just, once in a while so honestly state the worth he sees in Leona that it causes Leona to stutter and pause. Like, Leona's union bday card mentioning that he'd have Kalim with him on a deserted Island cause people would come ot rescue Kalim....... O U CH??????? There's a running Narrative that Kalim doesn't really see the value in himself, and this would be another person (like Azul) who would contradict that. Leona sees a more cynical version of his value, but its still value all the same. And Leona likes to gripe and groan, but he's adopted like, half the characters who are younger than him, I don't think he's immune to Kalim Al-Asim at ALL. It doesn't help that Leona is already a Tsunderely doting uncle, I can see Kalim triggering the Uncle-Instincts in him sometimes... or a lot. The loud and upbeat disposition Similar to Cheka's wouldn't help. Specifically, because I've thought about these two being friends before, I've always loved this idea of a post book 4 sequence where Kalim like, kind wanders into the greenhouse to find somewhere to cry privately, but he runs into leona napping. Leona doesn't really want to deal with Kalim, so while he's blubbering through his explanation he's just like "Fine you can chill here as long as you're quiet" Kalim accepts... but Leona has beastman hearing, so even what might be considered reasonably quiet is loud to him, and he eventually caves and asks whats up. Just to get Kalim to shut up eventually. I think maybe I had a conclusion or an idea for what advice leona would give kalim, but I don't remember it at the moment, but yeah just. Them :) I think their dynamic could be really interesting.

Malleus and Leona: So ya'll who saw my whumptobers already know I have some bad braincells for these two clowns. I think they are jealous of each other, because they think the other has what they want, they think that they see the other squandering the gifts they've been given, being fools and idiots who don't appreciate what they have. Leona craves being accepted, having the crown, having the power to fix what he sees that is wrong, to actually have and impact in people's lives, to matter and to fit in. Malleus craves normality, he craves to be one of the masses, just another man among many, he doesn't wish for power, and he cares little for the catastrophic effect he can have on other people, he just wants to be invited. He just wants to be included. Leona sees Malleus as having the power to do what matters. Malleus sees Leona as having the gift of Normality and camaraderie. Ultimately they're both miserable where they're at (though not entirely. Leona loves his squad, Malleus loves his family, both of them have things they'd never dare give up.) and they think if they just had what the other had, they would achieve the things they deserve and desire. I think both of them would have to sort through a LOT of emotions if it ever clicked for them just how similar they are. They're of course seeing each other through rose colored glasses. Leona is not an everyman, he's feared by his own family, Malleus is not all powerful, he cannot stop the tick of death. Leona is persecuted for being "less than" his brother, Malleus is held so far above everybody else he can't be reached. This would take some time for both of them to process, but I think once they did there would be a chance for them to become good allies, and potentially even really good friends. THose are my main braincells!! I honestly think that making any of the dorm leaders interact is fantastic food for thought and relationship building. I would love to think over what it'd be like to grow a friendship between Azul and Riddle, or Vil and Malleus. Leona and Azul would be INCREDIBLE and fascinating!!! Like man, there's so much to work with in TWST. I realized this might be a little to the left of your question ^^;; Haha, If you were asking about more like, I guess lighearted headcanons, I'm not sure I have any yet!! But I'm sure with time I totally could :) Writing or playing with TWST characters intimidated me for a bit there, since the quality of the writing of the game was SO GOOD I felt there was no way I could do it justice. Now I feel a lot less intimidated, so i feel like I'm more likely to dig my hands into shenanigans and thoughts.

[sunshinemoonsposts]

~OVERWHELMED ~

Tiny one shot for you guys!!

Hope you like it!!

Summary-Harry calmes his overwhelmed best friend💗

When Harry received a call from y/n he wasn’t expecting her to be hyperventilating , so without a thought Harry took his car keys and rushed out of his house to start driving to hers , in the span of 15 minutes Harry created few horrible scenarios in his mind and was praying for none of them to be true .

He rushed to her apartment and let himself in with the copy of the key that she gave him ,

He took a moment to assess the situation . His heart ached at the sight of his best friend in distress, who was sitting on the couch, tears streaming down her face. He knelt in front of her, placing a warm hand on her shoulder.

"Hey," he whispered softly, his voice full of concern. "It's okay, Y/N. I'm here for you."

Y/N looked up at Harry, her eyes red and puffy. She tried to speak, but her words came out as choked sobs. Harry didn't rush her, simply sitting beside her and offering a comforting presence. "You don't have to say anything if you don't want to," he assured her. "I'm here to listen whenever you're ready."

He reached for a box of tissues on the coffee table and handed them to Y/N. She took a tissue and wiped her tears, her breathing starting to steady. "Thank you," she managed to say, her voice trembling.

Harry smiled gently. "Anytime, Y/N. Remember, I'm your friend, and I care about you. You don't have to go through this alone."

Y/N nodded, her shoulders relaxing a bit. "I just feel so overwhelmed," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "Everything is just piling up, and I don't know how to handle it."

Harry nodded understandingly. "I get that, Y/N. Life can be really tough sometimes, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed. But you're stronger than you think, and you have people who care about you and want to support you."

He paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "Maybe we can start by talking about what's been bothering you," he suggested. "Sometimes, sharing your thoughts and feelings can help lighten the load."

Y/N hesitated, but with Harry's patient and kind presence, she began to open up. She talked about the challenges she was facing at work, the pressures she felt from her family, and the self-doubt that had been gnawing at her. As she spoke, Harry listened attentively, offering words of encouragement and understanding.

"It's okay to have moments of doubt and uncertainty," Harry reassured her when she had finished speaking. "But just remember, Y/N, you've overcome obstacles before, and you'll get through this too. And you don't have to do it alone."

Y/N managed a small smile, her tears now replaced with a glimmer of hope. "Thank you, Harry. I really needed someone to talk to."

Harry squeezed her hand gently. "I'm always here for you, Y/N. And if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, or just a friend to sit with, I'll be right here."

As the evening went on, Harry and Y/N continued to talk. They shared stories, exchanged laughter, and simply enjoyed each other's company. With Harry by her side, Y/N felt a renewed sense of strength and a reminder that she was never truly alone in her struggles.

Harry's actions and words showcase his empathy, patience, and genuine care for Y/N, helping her find comfort and support during a difficult time.

[shadowwolfmemes]

I'm disappointed in you, @mean-bf777

Okay, Mean, I'mma need you to start explaining right now. I don't give a shit on how old your reblog was, this is just SICKENING! Telling people to kill themselves just because they said something you don't like is just absolutely vile!

If I knew the type of person you currently are sooner, I would've never defended you from getting your precious little feelings hurt. But that's not all!

You hate bad dramas and bullying, huh? That's funny considering that you're saying shit like this:

I get that you're 12 years old, but there's no valid excuse for this disgusting behavior. If you come to me talkin' about "I was just feeling dEPreSseD", then this is a horrible way of venting!

You have NO IDEA what someone might be going through behind the screen! If you're going through a hard life as well, then I'm sorry, but you have no respect towards people whatsoever. You don't need to inflict your pain towards other people!

Not to mention this:

And when I tried to talk to you maturely, you pull up with this bullshit:

Oh wow, you got me quivering in my leather-made boots. What am I ever going to do? 😱

But seriously, you're not making this situation any better for yourself. I just have one genuine question for you, Mean-bf.

Are you feeling proud of yourself right now? I'm sure you do. If you want respect, you give respect.

I also want to mention one more thing before this rant post ends: @sillay-silly-blogz, I'm sorry for cussing you out on a post. I didn't realize the type of person @mean-bf777 was until now. I know I apologized to you in private, but I wanted to make it formal at least.

And as for you, bf, I don't feel a single ounce of empathy for you anymore. You lost every ounce of respect I had for you.

[legalownerofufoemoji]

Hi I'm unwell. Another long post probably, thank you @es46 for giving me an idea !! click readmore for accidental aroace rants plus some silly shenanigans (the aroace rants happened on accident my bad)

So I one million percent agree that Ingo and Emmet would probably clock Elesas crush right away, even if they are aroace themselves, they see Elesa as a sister basically and know how she is (useless lesbian (she is bisexual w/ a woman leaning preference)) I definitely think of them as a trio who grew up together so they probably watched her go through her awkward teen years getting crushes on every pretty woman who was nice to her, but Skyla is a different situation obviously so they mutually agree to come at it from a different angle this time, much to Elesas dismay

I think Emmet would be super direct about it but think he's being slick because he isn't SAYING what he really means, right? But saying "I am asking for no reason in particular if you are single and also into women :>" and then dropping a "thank you for answering my random question that has no ulterior motive!" and Skyla would be like . Uh huh. Okay . (I don't know her personality SUPER well but I know she and the twins have slight beef over the more superior form of transportation planes v trains)

Emmet would also definitely try to be a "just go for it why are you so scared??" kinda guy because his concept of romance is heavily based on how he's seen it in media, but he hates watching it so it's really only the stuff he can't avoid? So hes like "obviously most relationship drama comes from not confessing so just get that part over with before it causes an issue" and doesn't ENTIRELY understand the nuance of being scared of rejection even if the other person seems interested (as well as adding on the sapphic problem of "is she flirting or just Really Friendly?")

I think Ingo is a little (lot) more empathetic than Emmet, not on purpose I just think Emmet genuinely lacks empathy and forgets to make up for it with sympathy at times, Elesa doesn't take it personally, but Ingo is absolutely a little more in tune to a social situation being stressful

Ingo, though, is also painfully aroace and his concept of love and romance is less whst you see in (straight) media and moreso in how he's defined it personally as somebody whose never felt it . He imagines it feels different from how he cares about Elesa, but she has to explain it's not that easy to really differentiate, because to love somebody you also usually love them a lot platonically as well as romantically. And that would absolutely perplex him just a smidge, because he sees love as this unreachable thing for him that's so distinct from everything else when it's really not. People just hype it up so much because of how it feels in the moment, but in reality it's actually rather difficult to define and Ingo thrives off precise definition.

He would encourage her to go for it, maybe a bit too obviously at times (no Ingo, deciding to loudly exclaim that you and your brother have somewhere to be, conveniently leaving Elesa alone with Skyla is not slick as you think it is!)

Ingo and Emmet would also absolutely try to set aside whatever feelings they have on Skyla and fully support Elesa in her relationship until the 4 actually managed to start getting along naturally, which happens eventually, it just takes time because the twins are very stubborn

It would absolutely lead to scenarios though where the twins are just a bit too pushy out of love and Elesa would probably have to tell them to back off, because romance is finicky and you have to let it happen naturally or else things get janky. I don't think they would fully get it until put into a train metaphor though

"If you try and run a train before the tracks fully built, or the engine is installed properly, even if it goes somewhere for a little while it likely won't reach it's destination" and they both go ohhhh.

Honestly I think that metaphor Ingo would come up with on the spot in an attempt to relate or process what Elesa is trying to explain, and then once they hear it everything clicks much better and they back off from trying to "speed things up", though in true assholeish brother-y nature, they have to bully her juuuust a little bit (Emmet going "WOW ELESA your face sure is red, is it too hot in here? Maybe you and Skyla should step outside for some fresh air :>" and Elesa making a strangling motion with her hands while Ingo is fighting off a laugh.

I do think that it would earn some laughs once Skyla and Elesa are actually together, and Skyla would probably have to drop the fact that she was painfully aware of the brothers attempts to push them together, much to Elesas horror

[our-arospec-experience]

Do you know that post from a queer person who grew up with queer parents and who said they can't really relate to many of the "typical queer experiences" because of it? Like the fear of coming out to your parents (even the idea of having to come out to them at all), growing up not knowing queerness is an option bc you never see queer people, feeling like there's something "wrong" with you?

I feel similarly about being aro. I never had to wonder whether what I was feeling was romantic attraction or not (bc I used to be alloro, so I could tell the difference when I became greyro and then aro), I never thought there was anything wrong with me for be(com)ing aro (bc I knew aromantics existed before I became aro), my personal "pan to aro pipeline" was literally just going from legitimately being panromantic to being aro, etc. I wasn't confused, I didn't think ppl were lying about experiencing romantic attraction (though I did think affective empathy was made up as a kid, but that's a different story), I only thought I might be a late bloomer bc I actually was, a little (not even significantly late, just a bit later than my classmates), etc.

I've seen people genuinely say self-loathing and thinking you're broken are "aro culture" (Youtube comment section my beloathed) and it makes me want to simultaneously shake some of my fellow aros and wrap them in a soft warm blanket bc that's bullshit and they deserve better, but they're also spreading the idea that it's normal and expected to have that kind of internalized arophobia and they gotta stop. It's not okay to define ourselves through suffering! It may be common, but it's not an inherent part of the aromantic experience! Yes, we need spaces to talk about the arophobia we face, including internalized arophobia, but we can do that without acting like it's inevitable, bc we deserve better than that!

I know I'm lucky, but dammit, lucky should be the norm! None of us should ever be made to feel broken for our orientation or identity, whether aro or otherwise queer. Isn't that the whole point? Isn't that what we fight for?

(This ask got away from me, sorry)

it would be nice if “lucky” was the norm, and we need to remember that all arospec experiences are valid, nice or not. I hope the rest of the community has been accepting of you (comment sections are never a nice place to go)

everyone is valid, no matter their experience!

[imaginarylungfish]

AUDHD 👏 GOJO 👏

I’m right there with you so, in true AuDHD style, I’m zooming into your inbox to infodump because I’m ALWAYS desperate to scream about this (shout out to @ellionwrites for patiently and compassionately listening to my unpolished rambles about a lot of this stuff in private)!

I actually have a LOT of thoughts about 236 and how it’s Gojo’s “unmasking”. That chapter is really emotional for me because of how well it articulates my personal experience of navigating the world as an autistic person. This post (and especially its tags) from right after it came out says it in a much more concise way, but Gojo’s upset pout breaks my heart because, to me, that's evidence of “no matter how much you try, people will misunderstand you” and damn… that hits a little close to home 🥲

It’s why his death had such a strong impact on me, especially when it felt like half the internet was ignoring the actual words Gojo said to claim “he never cared about that stuff, he was arrogant from the start and you just misread him". In combination with “it was the best ending for a character like Gojo" — right after we find out how deeply lonely he’s been, never able to truly connect with anyone after Geto left? Well, it was mindblowingly meta and, therefore, pretty painful to read.

I wrote an analysis of Gojo’s character in 236 and, even though I wasn’t viewing him through an autistic lens for that particular post, I think my words under the cut still read that way — that’s how baked into his character I think this stuff is! I genuinely think the two pairs of sorcerers sitting with their backs to each other is a visual representation of the double empathy problem. I'm not sure autistic and allistic people can ever arrive at a place where we fully understand each other, but that doesn’t mean autistic people have to carry all the burden and remain isolated. That’s why it’s meaningful that Gege makes it clear that all the characters care about each other, even if they don’t see eye-to-eye.

Glad to see you shouting about this reading of his character, because I haven’t seen many people talking about it. Some people are very hostile to ND headcanons, especially for characters as popular as Gojo, which is why I haven’t really talked about it much myself. However, I feel like any fellow AuDHDers who read my fic must be side-eying me constantly because I don’t think I’m subtle about how I write Gojo’s character at ALL 🤪

Maybe it’s time to be brave and publicly share my 236 AuDHD!Gojo manifesto for the five of us who are standing in a circle screaming about this! Cheering you on and sending lots of love ♥️

Ahhhhh thank you so much for this infodump!!!! I was on a AuDHD!Gojo rampage last night as my brain worm hit right as I should have been going to sleep. But such are things....

Like idk why it didn't truly hit me until now, but I can't unseen Gojo as AuDHD. (It was probably because I re-watched "Everything's Gonna be Okay" with some AuDHD representation and then I started thinking of other AuDHD characters and immediately thought of Gojo.) I did play with the idea a few months back, but it hit me with full force yesterday.

Idk like I get a little annoyed with people who think I or others like Gojo just because "he's hot" because like okay fine yes (but also I think I just have gender envy but that's a whole other can of worms). But also, no no no that's not it! My love for Gojo is more than that! He speaks to me as a character. He's misunderstood. He's seen as something he isn't. In my eyes, he's neurodivergent (and queer). And Geto was the only other person who ever saw him for who he really was.

Gojo's death was really hard on me. I remember exactly where I was when I read that chapter. And then the airport. Fuck. EmOtIOns. At first, I tried understanding Nanami's words. I really did. But really, I just didn't if I'm honest. Those words were a shock to me. Like yeah okay he's selfish (but like aren't all humans?). He also helps though! Isn't that obvious? And at the end? He wanted to have an equal to go all out with in a fight. Again, why was that bad? He was also helping! What's the issue? He's a fallible human. Like you said in your analysis, he contains multitudes. What's wrong with that?

So, like many others, I thought maybe I misread Gojo. But no. Now I think the missing piece was that Gojo is AuDHD and Nanami didn't quite get that. He didn't understand Gojo's actions. (And ahh god that lil pout. Gojo was just living his life and people saw him but they never ~saw~ him.)

I think the visual of the sorcerers back-to-back is a great metaphor for the double empathy problem. I never saw it that way, but I see it now and like it! And I think you're so right with the fact that the characters still respect and support each other even if they don't understand each other fully. I think that's a theme woven throughout the story.

Blahhh I feel like there is so much textual support for AuDHD Gojo. Like him being blindsided by Geto's defection because he didn't see Geto's decline (and don't get me started about Autistic!Geto with his strict black-and-white thinking), him just blabbing about sweets when he meets up with Megumi before fighting one-finger Sukuna at the beginning, the fact he thought revealing Yuuji to his classmates at the exchange event would be funny (cause hey, I thought it would too until it happened and I saw oh hey, it wasn't), etc. Plus, his blindfold. His overall personality. Like, it's such a heavy mask. Now I see that.

I feel like people either love Gojo or they hate him. (I immediately gobbled up your analysis and 100% agree. And I think people's reactions to his death are pretty telling.)

So, thank you for the yummy AuDHD!Gojo content. Please feel free to send me more/link me to things. I feel like I have a million more things to say but my brain is jumping all over the place and I've already spent 40 minutes this morning on this when I should have been getting ready for work. Hehe, whoops.

Gojo is AuDHD. I will die on this hill. Let's keep staring and screaming at each other about this. Sending you good vibes and love as well 🤍

[carrionhearted]

“homebound” You went to a whole different country for an expo not even a month ago.

Do you even know what you’re talking about

Do you understand how insane this is to say to someone? To go up to a dynamically/ invisibly disabled person and go “well you went to a con once so you’re not really that sick”.

If you are talking about the expo I attended which was 1) in my country, 2) in my province, and 3) near my city… you have no clue how that went. I’ve said it before, I don’t like talking about my health because it is a sore subject and is not fun to recount. When I attended that expo, I went with friends. You can ask any of them about this. I spent half of it sitting on the con floor alone while everyone else perused the booths, because if I tried to get up and go with them, I’d be prone to passing out and destroying merchandise. I struggled through the whole event, and was barely mentally present because the pain/ discomfort was too overwhelming to enjoy what should’ve been a fun experience. The chest pains and tachycardia and the inability to so much as breathe is fucking unbearable, I got home that night and the toll it all took on my body was so bad that my mother thought we should go to the ER. I stayed home and cried because I’d been looking forward to the expo for so long, and I barely skimmed through it before my body started failing on me and I had to leave my friends and sit down. Our group had another stop planned in the area, but I couldn’t walk over to the next place, and we ended up having to just go straight home. Do you know how shameful that feels? To be the reason your friends can’t do fun things? Because you cant walk around a flat convention floor without your heart rate spiking into the 150+ and your body tapping out on you? Because you cant go a DAY without random body pains that make movement hell?

You have no clue. You do not know me.

You are disturbingly ignorant. Get a fucking grip. You cannot say things like this to real people who you do not know, I am a human with feelings. This is beyond triggering, it is disgusting. How is this even a topic of conversation, you have strayed *so far* from your original advocacy campaign that you’re now shooting strays at an uninvolved party and harassing them with revolting ableist bullshit for… entertainment? I hope? If you think this behaviour is genuinely okay, you need help.

Jfc. I can barely get up to make art anymore. I want to so badly, but I can’t. I’ve lost the ability to go on actual hikes, I’m not allowed to anymore, because it is medically dangerous to be out there on my own. Being in the forest is the one thing I live to do, and I’m trapped inside withering alone. Imagine not being able to engage with your special interests because your body just can’t do it anymore. Imagine hearing what you just said in that position. Exercise some human empathy. I do not need this. I deserve to have a fucking life. I deserve to participate in society even if I’m disabled. You need to get off of the internet and go feel shame.

[wanna-b-poet31]

So...Manipulation And The Metatron (GO S2 Spoilers)

So, listen, that ending though? These are just some of my thoughts (and I promise a more cohesive meta later) but I noticed that when recounting how the Metatron described Aziraphale (as the ideal candidate for supreme archangel) he says:

1) Aziraphale is a Leader 2) Aziraphale is honest 3) Aziraphale does not “just tell people what they want to hear”

And then, that the above qualities are the reason that Gabriel came to him in the first place (Metatron imagines).  Now, this isn’t an Aziraphale hate post (in fact I have so much empathy for my poor Angel) but none of those things are true and we see why these points are wrong played out in our minisode flashbacks. 

On the first count: Aziraphale is a Leader This implies a sense of individuality and ability to work with others well. Sure he works with Crowley well, and he did just protect his Bookshop from being burnt to a crisp. But, he wasn’t leading anyone and in the 1826 flashback in Edenborough, he cannot lead any of the humans towards good (it’s only when he partners with Crowley and follows his lead that Elsbeth is able to find a different avenue in life.  Additionally, he was put into a leadership position in Season 1 (to lead a battalion of Angels for Armageddon)_ and he blatantly, outright REFUSED. He does not want that responsibility and he does not do well in those situations without Crowley.

On the second Count: Aziraphale is Honest. The entire point of the Job Minisode was to establish that Aziraphale has no problem lying to Heaven, the Angels, (we already knew he was okay lying to G*d as that was his literal first scene in Season 1, Ep. 3), and demons (a la the 1941 minisode). 

Part of the point of saving Job’s children hinged on him lying. Saving Crowley from the “evidence” of their closeness, relied on him lying. Hell, even the catalyst for getting Wee Morag killed was because he lied about changing the body.  Aziraphale. Is. NOT. Honest. (and that’s okay). If anything, it’s Crowley who generally is reliably genuine (at least to Aziraphale) and it helps highlight how his moral compass works. 

For more thoughts on this, I literally wrote like 10 Meta about it in 2019. I’ll link one here.

On the third Count: Aziraphale does not just tell people what they want to hear

Across all of the Minisodes (and in the pre-time flashback) Aziraphale’s main response to stress is to either distract from the situation and/or tell people what they want to hear.  For example: While he doesn’t tell Crowley what he wants to hear (that his nebula system will go on indefinitely), he does try to tell him that the think he’s already made is beautiful and capitulates alot to Crowley’s assertions about G*d.  In Job’s parable, he tells the angels what they want to hear about the children (both before they save them and after)  In 1826, he tells the surgeon and Elsbeth what they want to hear after he figures a way of making his morals “work” for their bodysnatching plan.  In 1941, he lies and tells the demons after Crowley what they want to hear (although as a lie to save Crowley from punishment)  This is all to say that the first way the Metatron tries to entice Aziraphale to his side is through empty praise (especially empty if he indeed has been “taking a closer look at his previous jobs and seen the partnership he has with Crowley”). When it doesn’t work, when appealing to Aziraphale’s inner insecurities is still met with resistance, then, and only then, does the Metatron brings out the “trump card”: An appeal to ensure Crowley’s safety.  I find in interesting though that these 3 characteristics (values Aziraphale has, for sure) were chosen to try to persuade him. I wonder why they were picked when they more accurately describe Crowley.

Crowley, the demon who took charge on saving Aziraphale, orchestrating rescues and then later taking charge to save the humans, (and then also took charge in saving Nina and Maggie when Michael wanted to turn them to pillars of salt). 

Crowley, the demon who is heartbreakingly honest to Aziraphale and refuses to lie to him (although his omissions this season are apparent to the audience, they are not to Aziraphale). 

Crowley, the demon who does not tell Aziraphale what he wants to hear because he much more values honestly and genuinely believes in the angel’s goodness.  I think these 3 values were chosen to make Aziraphale think about Crowley, priming him for the “promise” of safety later.

I’m not sure (I’m still processing the ending as are we all) but those were just some thoughts/observations I had. Thanks for entertaining my ramblings?