#like idk man I get it but I don't get it
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I think about this specific line in "The Left and Right Game" horror story a lot:
For context, this is a screenshot from "The Left and Right Game" originally posted on r/nosleep.
The main premise is a group of people play the left and right game with their cars and strange things happen.
But this line, the answer Rob gives Alice when she questionshim about how she thinks it's strange how she's not hungry and that the fuel in their cars are burning slower.
"Sounds like life to me, reasons to stop, reasons to keep goin'."
There's something so chilling yet... relatable.
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People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again
#My art#One Piece#Long post#Sir Crocodile#Nico Robin#Alternatively panel 5 would've been a close up of Crocodile's face from Robin's POV where he looks like he's giving her a death glare#Not intentionally he's just a big scary bastard with a Resting Murder Face and Robin is a small traumatized child#But I wanted to focus on the silliness of the moment so you get the goofy version instead#IDK man there's just something very funny to me about the idea of Robin just randomly info-dumping about a subject she's read about#And Crocodile being like ''?????????????????????? The fuck you talking about??''#Robin leaves the ship's kitchen and Crocodile just stares at the tomato like ''...It's a fruit? Forreal?''#(Meanwhile Robin is sweating bullets like ''I called his favorite vegetable a FRUIT right in his FACE he's going to KILL ME'')#Robin grew extra feet from the bottom of her feet to reach the counter and that actually isn't me trying to explain bad art away#In the original Papadile comic there was a panel of Robin doing the dishes with extra feet to reach the sink but I cut it out#(It was a stress relief comic I did not feel like drawing a complicated background in detail) (BUT YES I THOUGHT OF IT)#Nico Robin Age 11 is *more* than capable of cooking Crocodile just does not trust her with his food. At least not yet#She did start doing the dishes unprompted and continues to do so (mostly out of fear). Croc told her she didn't have to but allows it#IDK a lot of people seem to headcanon Crocodile as incapable of cooking and like. Surely Mr ''I don't trust people'' knows how to cook#Like he doesn't have to be a master chef or anything but and maybe he enjoys not HAVING to cook (pain in the ass with one hand + knife/hook#But surely he can cook decent enough. SURELY#Botanists don't @ me I know the ''tomato is a fruit'' thing isn't fully accurate this is just a silly little haha comic
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rook falling asleep on the red couch in the lighthouse dining room while lucanis is making dinner....... they were helping out by keeping him company and peeling and chopping potatoes for a while there but then the potatoes are done and the room is so safe and warm and smells like coffee and good food and lucanis is trying to explain something to spite and his voice is low and soft and good to listen to and rook's eyes only slip closed for a moment. they'll get up to save the world again or whatever in a second just. one moment. while the world is warm and kind. and then they're being shaken gently awake an hour later because it's time to eat and everyone's starting to drift hopefully dinner-wards
#lucanis looking down at peacefully sleeping rook like '...I *have* to figure out more things I can do for them than kill or die#because that's a bit limited long-term and one of those will probably mostly make them really upset. (also you only get to do it once.#just not good value for the price as gestures of love go.)#but maker I WILL also do that' as he drapes a blanket over them. and maybe strokes their hair. don't look at me#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#do you guys ever yearn. are you filled with unspeakable longing. are you ever brought to your knees humbled and wrecked#before the altar of the mortifying simplicity and lack of grandeur of your own impossible desires. anyway#at one point rye is going to tell this man in a sort of bewilderment of joy and relief 'you make me feel so safe'#and he'll have to go 'you may be surprised to hear that that is not a sentiment a man in my profession gets to hear a lot usually'#'well get used to hearing it (bitch)(infinitely affectionate)'#and then they hug or something idk don't speak to me do not look at me
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the fuck i made
#ace attorney#larry butz#franziska von karma#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#erm#franbutz#larriska??#idk#please please don't tell miles edgeworth that they actually kissed#franziska's getting the most cringefail man in the universe#what would you papa say#ok ok listen i like franmaya i like franema but i just ooogh. the hell#fuck
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tranny freak :)
#Negativity#Transphobia#I don't know what to tell you buddy I'm not sure what your goal is here#I am genuinely so much happier like this#Figuring out that I'm a tranny freak has been the absolute best thing ever#All the loved ones who I've come out to have been so welcoming and supportive#I get to experiment with my appearance like I haven't done since my punk days in highschool#And I've always been a weirdo so freak isn't even hurtful that's been a point of pride for decades#What made you want to hurt a stranger buddy#What are you going through#Are you gonna read this and scoff cause I took a troll sincerely#Why are you so afraid of genuine connection#Why are you scared of people#Are you happy with your life right now#Do you like yourself#How much time do you spend doing this#Do you think the negativity might be getting to you#How much time do you spend feeling repulsed scornful and annoyed towards others that you gotta do something about it#I'm really sorry#I used to be a similar kinda angry and that shit taints everything#Idk man I just hope you can see the joy in things someday#There's so much cool and exciting stuff you can find when you start looking for happiness and good intentions#Kinda sad that you're missing out
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
#writeblr#this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol#by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations#and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me#& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what????#like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it#''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother#and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!''#yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious#anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it#it's seen as the only important thing#even if ur gay#and it's a nuanced thing idk#and while rn i i.d. as lesbian#like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like .#sexuality is fluid...#don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label#they're like GET in the BOX#if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me.#(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)
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finally an art summary. Doesn't seem like much changed though...
in the end of this year, I stopped liking my art entirely. Lately I don't even want to think about drawing but it also applies to pretty much everything... It's most entirely likely due to my worsening mental state though so hopefully it'll get better.
But on the bright side, when I got so sad about my art, I decided to pick up 3d-modeling again and I feel like I really got better in it. Still proud of my Devil model >:]
Also met a lot of cool people this year. Hello to my mutuals :)
happy new year, i guess, and thank you all for your support <3
#art#Idk man... I'm so sad about this for some reason#Like when I was choosing drawing i chose not the ones I like because i don't like anything#i just chose what is “fine i guess”#ones i actually like is gibby and this sketch with indika and that's it#fuck 2024 i hope shit gets better (i say that every year)
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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i totally get why people make the captain a military man or ex-military in modern AUs because it makes sense but i personally believe he would simply be one of those middle aged autistic men whose special interest is wwii military vehicles
#idk i just don't like the idea of him enlisting in modern times tbh like. i feel like he only did originally out of obligation#i mean that man is not suited to it. he would get kicked out anyway.#also he's gay so is that even allowed in the uk?#anyways ben willbond's tragic military backstory (military upbringing resulting in a heavy skepticism for it) is right there to borrow#bbc ghosts#again i'm sorta new to the ghosts fandom so pls tell me if this discourse is already tired lmaoo
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it is completely one hundred percent baffling to me that any of the foxes would come away from witnessing neil and andrew's reunion in baltimore with the opinion that their relationship was just hate fucking . like my brother in christ are you blind
#andrew was FERAL .#he fucking choked KEVIN like COME ON#and he was like RACING into the room to see neil and#he was all like *tugs neil's hoodie to get his attention* *threatens anyone who tried to come close to them (abby)*#he was all like 'i dont trust them to give you back.' come on man .#and neil was looking at andrew . most definitely Like That. when he was talking to abby#neil was all battered and bruised from barely dodging a fucking death sentence and he sees andrews partly red eye and thats#the first thing he talks about#*lightly taps a thumb against the bruise at andrews eye* i didnt know theyd staged a riot#they were all like Looking at each other and ..... idk i am not explaining this well enough but .#you don't need me to. you all read it#it was So Fucking Obvious my god#im crying bc even neil thought nicky wasnt far from the truth at that point#like he could not have been more incorrect istg .#aftg#andreil#neil josten#andrew minyard#all for the game#mi ne
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People try too hard to make Curly an active participant in Jimmy's abuse. Isn't the whole point that he's passive in everything Jimmy does? Abuse occurs because he actively doesn't do anything? Not to call someone out or be mean, but I saw a post saying Anya's ID being in Curly's locker at the beginning shows that he intended to prevent Anya from filing an HR report and I disagree. I get where that interpretation is coming from, but I think it's a little uncharitable. I don't like being too kind to Curly because he's like...a morally mid dude at best lol But if we're going by the HR report interpretation, I would say it's more likely he requested Anya's ID in order to file an HR report on her behalf. After all, the only way to contact Pony (that we see) is in the cockpit, he's the Captain, and Pony Express sucks bad so I wouldn't put it past them to only allow the Captain to use the communication device thing. As we see before, Curly is the only one able to use tools around the ship that you would think other employees could use (ex. Swansea should be able to use the axe if he's the repair guy. Idk why they'd need an ax but that falls under manual labor which Swansea is designated for as the mechanic/fixer dude. But it has to go through Curly). I never got the vibe that Curly moved to actively protect Jimmy. He just lets things happen without say a word; Jimmy walks all over him, and by extension, the whole crew. I get why people would think that because he gives the whole "Hey Jimmy, we can get through this together, bud" spiel right before the crash. This part interests me a lot because there's so many ways to interpret Curly's intentions there. My interpretation is that Curly is on autopilot mode. The responses seem so stilted in comparison to Jimmy's. Like it's the kind of thing Curly's said before again and again and again when Jimmy's gotten in trouble. However, as others previously pointed out, I don't think Curly ever dealt with Jimmy doing something this irredeemable. He doesn't know how to respond, so he just goes for the default "You've gotten through tough situations before. Work through it one step at a time." Like the response is lame af lol I think he was in shock; he was scared (and just so I can say it one more time: he's super lame).
Anyway, this is way longer than I intended and I've said things a billion people have already stated. But uhhh tldr the whole point of Curly's character is he's passive; he never acts. He just watches. Making him an active participant in the abuse by taking actions to cover for Jimmy (like preventing Anya from filing an HR report) defeats the purpose of his character. He's a bystander.
#and I'm defining active as in like consciously taking actions to help Jimmy cover his tracks and stuff like that#because I know being passive can be seen as the same thing as actively participating in the abuse (which i agree with)#I just mean I don't think he's actually intending to help Jimmy by doing anything for him like taking Anya's ID away with nefarious purpose#I just didn't get that vibe#again I just thought he sucked lol like he just does nothing#so idk I just don't vibe when people make him too into helping Jimmy if that makes sense? I think it destroys the grayness of his character#they will never make me have a strong opinion of you Curly#but he is fine as hell ok lol I am not immune to buff blonde man#also like I hope this doesn't come off as mean to the person I'm referencing with the ID take if they see it#I just was thinking about their interpretation and was like ehhh i don't know if i agree and wanted to respond on my lil side account ;p#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#ok and I could see people saying he actively covers for him by doing the psych eval for him and being like uhhhh good enough lmao#but to me that's him trying to placate any issues between crewmembers on his ship esp. when it comes to Jimmy#which just falls under the bystander thing because he'll do the bare minimum to keep things peaceful#but when it comes to doing anything he's just like whelp idk what I can do and just stands there#he's so cool#ok also I realize they need the ax for the foam I just forgot about that lmao#i was a little tipsy when I wrote this plz forgive hahaha I just meant like an ax isn’t like normally in a mechanic’s tool kit lmao#adding a link to the Twitter post I mention so people can refer back to it if they’d like
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inexplicably began doodling p4 again <3 so here's a collection
#og post#my art#persona 4#p4#chie satonaka#yu narukami#souji seta#souyo#yukiko amagi#yukichie#yuri#yaoi#shipping#aw man. shit. i drew too many peoples eyes. do i tag them all#... no. i don't think i will#i keep drawing chie+shadow chie in this specific color palette for reasons#i mean idk why im drawing chie specifically. i think i just like drawing her. but the color palette has reasons#that may never come true#two of these r from video ideas i'll prolly never get around to tbh#also . the eyes. i only had references for some of them. because i was lazy and didn't feel like getting them#and i don't actually care that much how they look in canon
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Remember when the president of Finland showed up to his own event and the first thing he wanted to know was if Käärijä was there yet
#käärijä#that was so wild#idk why this popped into my head at 6.30 am on a monday but DO YOU REMEMBER???#like we are here all like haha silly gremlin man he's so dumb haha so slutty so chaotic#and then the president of a whole fucking country asks after him!!! because he wants to meet him so bad!!!! LITERALLY WHAT#i mean i get it but also i don't get it you know#idk if i should say previous president but oh well
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Madoka is the promise you won't turn from a child, full of hopes and dreams and the wish to save the world, into a bitter adult who just wants to hurt others and ruin people's lives
Madoka promised to be there for you to remind you of the person you wanted to be and to stop you from becoming what you sought to destroy
Madoka made that promise and became the very embodiment of it
#Moon posting#Feeling emotional about Madoka Magica all out of the blue and I'm making it your problem#IDK I saw a video in my YT reccs ranking Doremi toys and I really enjoyed it (sadly can't remember who it was)#So I went to check what other content the person had made and they had recently-ish done a blind reaction to Madoka#Didn't watch the whole thing just The Good Shit at like double speed (it was completely uncut and I wasn't in the mood for a full rewatch)#And god. The way the fucking ending to this series still makes me fucking sob like a baby EVEN WHEN WATCHING AT DOUBLE SPEED#I dunno what to tell you I really like that series. Like I just do. Madoka is Good Actually#IDK I feel like everyone has a lot of Opinions about the series and all I can say is that y'all are wrong and don't understand it#MADOKA ISN'T ABOUT BEING EDGY GRIMDARK TORTURE PORN!!! IT'S ABOUT HOPE!! AND DREAMS!! AND NOT GIVING UP!!#Y'all remember that post about how sometimes if you need to imagine Naruto encouraging you to help you get out of bed and brush your teeth#Then you imagine that dattebayo#And that is literally what Madoka is.#Except instead of self-care Madoka is there to stop you from being a toxic little dickweed and be nice to others#Sometimes you need to stop and ask: Would Madoka do that? Would Madoka say that? Would she be proud of me right now?#Don't ask me why I'm posting this it is 5 am I should be in bed man
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I feel like we really lost something when we started looking at writing as a reader-centric product meant to appeal to the desires of a specific audience rather than a writer-centric approach of someone writes whatever particular thing particular compels them/whatever weird thing the demons in their head want to talk about, and people out there who are also compelled, and/or relate, find that writing. A lot of discussions of writing really center around what readers want rather than a writer's exploration. Sometimes as a reader I don't know what I want. I click on a fic or pick up a book I'm not sure about but that looks interesting, and I love it. Reading what I expect to get is it's own joy, but we always need to expand our horizons and not get mad at creators for not always writing what we want/expect.
#This applies to other media too#Like movies or TV or theater#Idk man like#It's a very the customer is always right attitude with books these days#And I think it has leaked into fic writing as well#People really get the “this isn't what I personally enjoyed” and “this thing is objectively bad” mixed up#Like people can leave whatever reviews they want on my books they paid for it#But I've had people who liked OFMD be like well I didn't like this because it wasn't OFMD#Well I didn't say it was did I?#And never forget that fic commenter I got who was like um I don't like that you had QuinObi in this but otherwise it was good#Ok???#KCrabb rambles#Writing things
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anyone else obsessed with the recurring theme in TTPD about how in each instance with the three notable muses referenced, they each made a show in their own way of stepping up to Be Someone for her, only to completely cut and run (whether physically or emotionally or both).
The first love who laid on the charm offensive, "I'm not an organ donor but I'd give you my heart if you needed it," sweeping her up in this great big first serious adult love, inspiring all of the dreams that go with it, making her feel like This Is It and the actions undertaken as a result. But then bailing at the first sign of inconvenience, leaving her distrusting of her own feelings and instincts.
The longtime partner with whom she built a foundation against all odds, the one with whom (or perhaps rather for whom) she meticulously placed those stars on the ceiling. The one who at one point painted dreamscapes on the wall and sparked her darkest nights, the one who chose her mess and said there was nothing that could stop them, the one she believed in so completely she crafted a whole life around, but then accused her of abandoning the ship when he had long since metaphorically and physically left the house on the Heath.
And then of course the final boss level, the infatuation from hell who saw all this and said "I can be the one that none of the others were" and insinuated himself into her life and her consciousness until it felt real, only to vanish after the ploy did its damage.
(Of course, it's all contrasted by a fourth party with whom the trust and dreams come freely and solidly.)
It's just a fascinating study in how patterns keep repeating themselves, not only in a person's choice of partners but in people's behaviours in general. And how so much of the album is not just about specific situations but also globally about the pitfalls of relationships and dynamics and how we choose to believe. TTPD album that you are.
#it's the 'you said i needed a brave man then proceeded to play him until i believed it too'#because it may be about one person -- whoever -- but the reality is that shades of it have happened every time#i was listening to the black dog the other day and like... whoever it's about#i was like 'you know that has shades of Jake because of the strong come ons'#'and even john because again that is prime gaslighting: saying you need someone mature who will Get You only to drop you#when that very thing is why things don't work out the way they want'#it's just like about the way in which men treat women in society even in the most 'evolved' contexts idk#it's some sociological shit don't mind me#the tortured poets department#writing letters addressed to the fire
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