#and neil was looking at andrew . most definitely Like That. when he was talking to abby

[twin-yards]

it is completely one hundred percent baffling to me that any of the foxes would come away from witnessing neil and andrew's reunion in baltimore with the opinion that their relationship was just hate fucking . like my brother in christ are you blind

[ninyard]

Honestly honestly the most romantic moment of the entire series is when Neil talks about how he'd never gotten to travel for fun before and the Foxes are planning to take him to the mountains, and Kevin starts to protest that they can't go on vacation but stops because Andrew is holding a knife on him 😭🥺😩 like I don't know that's just just a sweet little moment to me, Andrew threatening Kevin if he takes this little chance for happiness from Neil

Uhhhh literally Andrew “I-don’t-care” Minyard is the most romantic of ALL the foxes. My line of work revolves around intimacy and from all my training and studying let me tell you that man is a master at his craft.

Andrew’s touch is beautiful and sacred; this thing he does not take easily, or give out kindly whatsoever. Yet with Neil it’s as if he can’t stop himself. We see it in how gently he tapes the garbage bags around Neil’s injuries, wordlessly, without being asked. THAT’S intimacy. How he holds his neck to inspect his eyes when he removes his contacts, how he hands Neil cigarettes without a request, how he doesn’t say a word while touching Kevin with the point of a blade because Neil deserves a fucking break. Sure, by technicalities, the shower scene from TKM is intimate by definition, but really it’s in the kiss he ghosts across Neil’s hip, in how he pats dry his broken skin afterwards. How can you look at him wordlessly dropping keys into Neil’s palms, and think, yeah there’s no way Andrew could be romantic. Is he soft, is he gentle, as a person? No. But his minuscule actions are, his unmentioned gestures are. You just have to look and find them.

TKM just has some of the most subtly beautiful examples of a different flavour of love and intimacy that is so unusual and heartwarming it’s insane. That shower scene drives me crazy when I think about how caring Andrew is in it. He came in with the tape and bags on his own volition, knowing Neil needed a shower and couldn’t do it unattended. How he didn’t take away Neil’s autonomy by assuming he couldn’t undress himself, instead waiting until he paused and couldn’t go any further before he started to help. How he drapes the blanket over Neil’s shoulders, again giving Neil a chance to struggle before wrapping it around him. They practically don’t speak to each other really in that chapter at all apart from a bit of flirting in the shower. Because they don’t need to, because Andrew knows how to love, how to be caring, how to wrap up the boy he almost lost in bubble wrap because if he loses him again, it won’t be pretty. He washes Neil’s hair! He covers his wounds! He treats him gently when that is possibly the last word that could ever be used to describe Andrew. I feel like that scene was in part of course him just looking after Neil who can use approximately two square inches of his entire body, but in another part proving how serious he is about Neil. Everything changes between the two of them then, suddenly their actions more relaxed than hungry, not yet a given but instead now just a want.

I don’t know. I can’t help but see so much intimacy and romance in subtleties and things you’d barely even notice, regardless of the people/the characters and their circumstances. I wouldn’t use the word sweet to describe Andrew at all, but the things he does for Neil? The way that he loves Neil? The absolutely fucking sweetest.

[shorlinesorrows]

my jean & neil qpr agenda (part 1?)

after Neil orders the hit and Greyson becomes another Former Raven statistic for the media to go wild with, Jean ends up texting Neil. It's definitely not a thank you, but both of them know it kinda is (prob something like "you're an insufferable disease" lol)

They don't have contact for a while, but one day Neil reaches out by sending Jean the most atrocious multilingual French meme with "Kevin doesn't appreciate me or my humor, this is a hate crime"

It's sporadic from there, and maybe at one point they meet up while Neil and Andrew are on their summer road trip. Neil and Andrew end up in Colorado, and Jeremy, Cat, and Laila practically drag Jean there to see them (he'll deny that he had a good time, but he really did)

Andrew and Jean have a bizarre and interesting dynamic where they don't speak to each other often, but they eventually grow a mutual respect and shoot each other Looks about their "I'm Fine" partners. They don't mind just sitting in the same room and sharing space while they do their separate things.

When Jean and Jeremy start their pottery class, Jean takes to it like a fish to water.

He ends up majoring in Ceramics & Multimedia Art. Something about using his hands to create, rather than destroy.

He makes Neil a little exy racket charm for his keychain.

At one point, Jeremy makes a gc with Jean, Neil, Kevin, and Andrew on impulse. Jean "hates" it but doesn't leave the group chat. Andrew only stays in it because he can mute it, and it's useful for when they plan to meet up sometimes. It also makes Neil happy and it's not something he really minds

Jean also takes LOTS of pictures. With his phone, his friends' phones, a polaroid camera he gets as a gift from Cat, anything he can get his hands on. He hangs them up on his half of the room with Jeremy.

Eventually Jeremy and Jean do get separate rooms. They usually still sleep in the same room, but it's an important milestone for Jean and his recovery. Being able to have his own space, and know he's allowed to control who comes in it.

He decorates that room so much it's chaotic and beautiful and there's probably little pencil doodles on the wall next to his bed from when he can't sleep. He tends to draw daffodils :]

It becomes a bit of a tradition to meet Neil and Andrew every summer.

When they go pro, Jean and Neil end up on teams only a few hours' drive from each other. Neil and Andrew start on the same team, but the whole Minyard-Josten Rivalry is still a Thing because they're always shooting heated Russian at each other while "glaring" and no one else seems to realize it's their equivalent of flirting.

Jean thinks it's hilarious. He harasses Neil about it constantly.

Him and Kevin eventually mend their friendship, and they care about each other a lot.

Neil probably made the three of them matching "I survived Castle Evermore" shirts just to be a menace, and then Jean and Kevin have to make him swear that he'll never wear it in public.

Neil has a habit of just. Showing up at Jean's house and crashing sometimes.

Jeremy at one point jokes that he'll have to fight Neil for Jean's time in the future, but he's not really worried. They're happier when they spend time together. Jeremy and Andrew are chill with it.

When they meet up for the first time after a game between their pro teams, none of their teammates have any clue what's going on. Jean and Neil insult each other ferociously, but also can't seem to resist hip-checks and shoulder bumps and almost affectionate shoves.

Neil constantly sidles up to Jean and pretends like he doesn't know what he's doing. Jean usually responds by absently grabbing his hand so he knows where he is.

They are literally a cat and dog. Neil will deny that he's being caring or affectionate towards Jean all day long while actively attempting to be in Jean's space, and Jean practically perks up when Neil enters a room.

When their teams play against each other, they talk in French sometimes. Their checks are always a bit brutal (they know very well how far the other can be pushed before they break) but they help each other up at the end of quarters.

Jean is constantly antagonizing Neil by smiling and complimenting his striker skills while blocking him, and Neil is constantly taunting him with words that are plenty sharp, but never actually aimed for vital spots

Jean gets a service dog and Jeremy decides to name her Mr. Barkbark Flufferpants, following Andrew & Neil's naming scheme for their cats. They usually just call her "Mr."

When they make Court, the two of them practically live in each other's pockets.

Jeremy and Andrew watch both exasperatedly and amusedly (though Andrew just calls it annoyance when asked) as the two of them dance around their Big Queer Platonic Feelings

When they finally manage to actually communicate about it, it goes something like "Idk what's happening, I'm kinda obsessed with you but it is Not Romantic and I don't know what to do with that." And then "Oh thank hell, me too, I thought I was even weirder than I already am. Wanna go harrass the fbi together?" "No."

They become even more attached at the hip after that, can practically finish each other's sentences. It's like they freaking mind melded tbh.

At first Kevin gets worried that they're slipping into old habits from the Nest, especially Jean, but when he brings it up to Andrew and Jeremy, Andrew just goes "No, they're idiots." and Jeremy nods and says "I think they're in a honeymoon phase. If we see them slipping, we'll pull them out."

Kevin decides to wait and watch, and thankfully their relationship ends up being as healthy as Neil and Jean can be. There might be a little codependence going on, but they have other people and other grounding forces to help intervene if it seems to be unbalancing.

They both put each other on their emergency contacts list.

It's a common sight to find the two of them twisted into impossible positions together just doing their own things, Jean drawing, Neil watching reruns of Exy matches, whatever.

Their dynamic just becomes Jean, who genuinely grows up to be a pretty chill dude, and Neil, who's an absolute gremlin. Except they kinda absorb each other's personalities, so they're both little shits together. They fit.

There is definitely all sorts of weird conversations that they have at 2AM in little sleepovers they do together (sometimes with Kevin, Jeremy, or Andrew) because they never got that as kids.

I bet Neil mercilessly teases Jean for being allosexual, especially when he gets flustered (all in good fun, of course)

Jean just snarks back with a "shut up, I literally saw you look at Andrew like a besotted elderly man with his partner of fifty years like five minutes ago." Neil sticks out his tongue at him.

Jean actually can sometimes read the ways that Neil and Andrew show affection for each other because of how much time he spends around them, which leads to him occasionally getting confused when other people don't automatically Get It

Neil takes a while to warm up to Jeremy because he seems Too Nice, but once he does he helps Jeremy plan to absolutely torment Jean with silly little romantic gestures that make him flush all the way down to his neck

At one point Neil tries to get Jean to explain what it feels like to be sexually attracted to someone without knowing them really closely, and it leads to a really surprisingly deep conversation about attraction before it turns into neil making dick jokes.

Cat and Laila still keep in close contact with Jean, as well as Renee. They make sure to meet up as often as they can. Cat and Jean always go for a bike ride together and they all cook dinner as a group.

They're both cuddle monsters when in the right mood. They also have the convenient ability to fall asleep Anywhere when they feel safe. So finding them curled up together in weird places at home is pretty commonplace.

They're forever partners, not in the way that the world and the Nest tried to make them be, but in a way that they created themselves.

It doesn't have to be romantic to be special, and if anyone ever suggested that they should be in a romantic relationship, they would both look at that person with absolute judgement and disgust. This person interrupted their conversation. They were talking shit about someone. Neil is lounging in Jean's lap. Andrew is saying he hates them both, and Jeremy is cackling at it all while taking a low-res picture for Cat and Laila.

idk i have a Lot of thoughts and could keep going. (i might write a fic if anyone wants to read it, and I'll definitely write little snippets for myself if I get the time. )

[andreilslovechild]

A Study on Aaron Minyard and Hatred

I've been in this fandom for years now. somewhere around 5 years or so. and since I've been here there's always been a distinct theme in how people talk about the brother of our beloved main love interest. see people speak about aaron in two ways mainly. the first way is, of course, labeling him as hateful and homophobic and disliking him because he dislikes Neil. the second way is building on his more personable characteristics and having him paired with someone else like Katelyn or Kevin to mellow him out. both of those are all well and good, everyone is entitled to their opinions and all, but I've never quite seen people look at both of those sides at the same time so I want to try and consolidate my thoughts on the matter.

first of all, I personally rarely consider aaron inherently hateful in my own understanding of him. annoyed or disgusted sure, but not necessarily hateful. mainly that hate is focused on three people from what the fandom talks about: Neil, Andrew, and Nicky. I'm using hate a broad term for dislike just for the ease of things right now so don't yell at me, but I think it fair to say the fandom typically pits these three up against aaron in a way that makes aaron look like the bad guy a lot of the time.

if I'm honest, I never really felt he hated Neil more than just didn't care much. at least until he found out about him and Andrew and gave him his version of the shovel talk. maybe a bit when Neil used Katelyn against him. but overall I never quite got it when people said he hated Neil, let alone hated him for "no reason". like id be annoyed too if a guy waltzed onto my college sports team while im studying premed, and turned out to be the long-lost son of a serial killer with a mouth so big it was a wonder hes still alive. plus he was super shady before all that was revealed too, but aaron was still pretty neutral when Andrew brought Neil into the monsters. he even spoke back to the upperclassmen when they freaked out about Neil sitting with the monsters. if you all need me to get the quotes I will, but it's currently like 2am, and I just can't be asked right now lmao. either way, the only time aaron really hates Neil in the books is when he uses Kate against him to get him to go to therapy. which was done for his own good in the long run, and I doubt aaron stayed upset about it for too long. plus we always have to be careful here because we are seeing things from Neil's perspective, someone who is inherently an unreliable narrator in the story.

in Nicky's case, there's a lot to consider. aaron definitely does and says some things (again not finding specifics rn because it's 2am) that are hurtful to him, or offensive. I certainly don't really blame people for reading it as homophobic on a surface level. but that's exactly what it is. surface level. his feelings about Nicky are probably the second most complex in this instance. because Nicky is his cousin, caregiver, friend, whatever you want to call him. They're close, they mean something to each other. but aaron also grew up with Tilda, probably talking with his family over the phone every few months, seeing them maybe once a year or two. when aaron moved to South Carolina he was 13. Nicky would have been 17. aaron probably spent a lot of time with him at first to avoid being alone before he made friends himself. used him as an excuse to get out of being around Tilda alone. which undoubtedly left him susceptible to Luther's preaching. I could make a whole other post on this alone. Still, he would have known Nicky was gay and that it was "wrong". He likely saw only his mask, not the depression inside because Nicky would have wanted to be happy with his cousin. he probably was around when Nicky went to Germany and then came back loud and proud, telling him about a man named Erik and finally standing up to his parents. to us, it's inspirational, exciting even, but for aaron it was like Nicky was abandoning him. He had gotten through Nicky being gone with drugs and staying out of the house as much as possible, but now knowing Nicky was leaving him there alone with his mom for what he assumed would be forever would have hit him hard. he never hated Nicky for being gay. he was angry he had left him, and he had grown up surrounded by the ideals Luther preached and likely his mom did too. with that, plus how uncomfortable it would be to have your cousin being openly sexual around you to an extreme extent like Nicky, I don't blame him really for how he reacted. he was disgusted by the thought of his cousin having sex, not who it was with. I can't remember if his disliking Erik is a canon or fanon thing. Still, he disliked him for taking Nicky away, not because he was a guy. Long story short I don't think aaron ever truly hated Nicky or was truly homophobic. I think he was just a scared kid who learned the wrong words and didn't know how to be vulnerable.

Andrew. good old Andrew. the most complicated relationship in Aaron's life save maybe his mom. I think we all know aaron doesn't hate Andrew. just like Andrew doesn't hate aaron. it's impossible for them to hate each other because they are so irrevocably tangled up and tied to each other's lives. from the second they found out about each other, everything they've done has been for the other in some way. mostly on Andrew's end sure but aaron has also done his share. see out of everyone here I think Andrew is the person that aaron thought he hated the most. he was angry about Tilda, about the drugs, about how Andrew refused to look at him. but deep down he knew he couldn't really hate Andrew. if he truly hated him he wouldn't have stuck around him this long to try and form a relationship with him. he wouldn't have bothered renewing their deal after graduating high school. he may have been stubborn and confusing and made aaron want to pull his hair out in frustration, but I don't think hatred for Andrew truly existed in him. For certain actions maybe, but him overall? definitely not.

Aaron Minyard may have been complicated, cranky, and annoyed for the majority of the times we see him, but he never truly hated anyone. not in the way people seem to think at least. and certainly, never the three people hes accused of hating the most.

[little2nerdy]

neil + his service dog wip

based on this post i made

----

Neil comes to consciousness violently. Heart racing, breaths short and rapid, sweat sticking to his limbs, hands clenched so tightly he could feel his joints creaking. The nightmares had been more frequent since he’d left Andrew in Colorado. They were hard to shake without Andrew’s firm hand on his neck and reminders that he was real to ground him. But before his spiraling mind could send him further off the deep end, a weight settled on his chest. He looked down at Sasha, her curious brown eyes staring back at him. She had been his loyal anxiety-reducing companion for nearly six months.

Betsy had seen the gathering storm that came with Andrew’s senior year and consequent graduation. The goalie’s singing to the Outlaw roster hadn't been announced until two weeks after his graduation, but they had known since Andrew had started getting approached by scouts that the goalie would be moving a not-insignificant distance from Palmetto. Despite Neil’s initial skepticism of psychiatrists he and Betsy had developed what some would call a ‘normal’ therapist-client relationship. It was during one of his sessions at the end of Andrew’s fourth year that she’d brought up the idea of a service dog. He’d been unsure at first so he brought the idea to Andrew, who then came to Neil’s next session to talk it over. Andrew had been surprisingly fast to agree with Betsy, having talked with Neil extensively about what life at Palmetto looked like without him. They both knew it was going to be…difficult.

But neither of them had ever had pets so the discussion was long and drawn out. Thinking about the cost, having an animal in the dorm, at the house in Columbia, in an apartment eventually. And the fact Andrew would definitely not be letting an animal in his car, no matter how well-behaved. (This issue was solved when Neil bought his first car, a bright orange jeep, much to Andrew’s chagrin). But after lots and lots and lots of planning and helpful research from Abby and Bee, along with the cousins, Neil had a dog.

Sasha had been in training for this role since she was a puppy and she fit surprisingly well into Neil’s life. Nicky had been ecstatic, helping Neil pick out patches for her vest, toys, treats, and a ridiculously fluffy dog bed. Andrew although seemingly detached at first came to every appointment and training day, and had steadfastly taken charge of her vet checkups. (And if he gifted her a bright orange collar with little paw prints on it, who was to say.) Katelyn kept trying to use her as a bargaining chip to try and convince Aaron to get a dog which only furthered Aaron’s annoyance with Neil. Robin, although she wouldn’t be able to meet her until the fall semester, requested photos nearly every hour throughout the summer. 

Post-season had been spent going through supplemental training and adjusting to life with a pet but it was all worth it. She spent the first couple weeks at the house in Columbia with them, bonding with Neil and the cousins. Even Kevin fell in love with her when he came to stay with his dad for a few weeks. She went on runs with Neil in the morning and woke Andrew up gently with a cold nose to whichever hand she could reach first. (Neil had to admit seeing Andrew interact with her was one of his favorite things). She put her skills to the test and came with them when Andrew moved to Colorado, her head on Andrew’s lap the entire plane ride, his fingers drawing anxious lines over the marking in her fur. They spent some of June and all of July traipsing around Denver and spending as much time together as they could before Neil had to head back to campus and Andrew had to attend pre-season training.

Sasha hadn’t had to put most of her training to use until the pair were separated by over 1500 miles. But at this point a few weeks into the fall semester she was well-versed in how to shake Neil from the stickiness of a nightmare. Slowly his heart rate returned to normal and the tightness in his throat loosened. He raised his hands, running his fingers over her ears and tracing her black eye patches. When he’d finally calmed enough to look at the clock he groaned, despite being an early riser, 6:30 was still a bit early for him on a Saturday, especially after the mess of a scrimmage they had last night. 

“All right girl, let’s go on a run.”

[thespineoftherighteous]

more more more more aftg show bloopers (p 4?? I think?) whoop whoop de fuckin whoop

Neil's actor being a huge Duolingo dork and in the behind the scenes while the other actors are fooling around between takes you can often see him with his head bent and hear the little 'ping!'s coming from his phone

also during late night shoots, as it gets closer to midnight he always has a point where he's like SHIT my Duolingo streak. and then just blocks out everyone while his fingers fly over his screen

(fans make compilations of him proudly showing his Duolingo streak to the camera and the number grows as the seasons progress)

(he definitely is the kinda bitch who cares more about maintaining the streak than actually learning languages)

actually omg while we're on the topic of languages

Kevin's actor tenderly reciting his French lines to Matt's actor and Matt's actor is just smitten. and he goes "say something else, love" and Kevin's actor strokes his cheek while saying another one of his lines and Matt swoons

(then Kevin's actor turns to the camera and goes "I just told him that he's a disappointment and is going to get his ass handed to him by ravens if he doesn't do exactly as I say" and, from the ground, Matt's actor goes "hell yeah you did. talk dirty to me any day of the week you sexy, sexy man")

coach's actor is always swearing to the point where they implement a swear jar...really it's just something for the kids to jokingly rag on him about, but he goes with it, and every so often they'll empty the jar to buy the cast and crew pizza

they're filming outside at night and it's cold and in between takes Matt's Aaron's and Renee's actors are all huddled together for warmth and Matt's actor gets pulled aside to get his makeup touched up and the other two just shriek at the absence of his heat and catch up to him to tuck themselves against him again

Andrew needs to snap his fingers in one scene but everyone finds out that day that his actor doesn't know how to snap so he has a little impromptu snapping lesson and of course it turns into everyone else trying to one-up each other with their snapping abilities

Nicky's actor telling everyone what he's going to steal from set (will literally say"[about Allison's bathrobe] damn that shit soft as hell. Ive been needing a new bathrobe actually. I'm stealing this" or "I'm stealing this lighter/bandana/sunglasses/etc") but because his humor is so dry everyone thinks he's joking. until months later. when the prop department can't find shit

Renee's actress is doing something completely mundane but Neil's and Allison's actors start narrating what she's doing like they're in a nature documentary (always with Australian accents for some reason??)

"and our specimen now reclines herself vertically on a piece of furniture us humans know as 'a desk.' this clearly less-developed creature seems not to understand the purpose of such an object. but given that this is her first time outside her natural habitat (the jungle) her lack of familiarity with modern technology is to be expected"

Renee's actress: *flips them off*

"ah and here we witness one of the most common behaviors of this specimen. specialists have dubbed it 'flipping the bird,' and explain it as a nonverbal expression of affection" "oh fuck off"

photo from another cold night-shoot and it's of Matt's and Dan's actors, she's standing in front of him zipped up in his hoodie, just her head poking out and they're having a conversation with other castmates like it's the most normal thing in the world, looking the very image of the couple they play

so much glorious content from shooting the dorm sleepover scene. the most popular thing to come from it is a picture from after they wrapped where the cast and some members of the crew had moved even closer to each other amid all the blankets and are asleep on top of each other

Andrew's actor will sometimes actually eat the ice cream he's given instead of just pretending to eat it, and halfway through the scene he casually mentions that he's lactose intolerant and sends the crew into a worried frenzy

if you haven't clocked it yet, these bitches are competitive. and one day, one thing led to another, and soon a bunch of the actors are all being filmed having a plank-holding competition. Dan's actress is the first to drop and she gets booed at for it because "you're an ex-stripper where tf is that upper body strength?"

she flips them off and goes to sit on Kevin's actor, hoping to squash his plank, but instead he starts doing push ups with her on his back. she grins

(Rikos actor wins that competition btw. and Neil's actor goes on a rant about "we succumbed to the ENEMY? a RAVEN? your characters would be ashamed of you" (he also lost?))

Allison's actress pretending to do a get-ready-with-me using all the stuff on Allison's vanity

Wymack's actor falling asleep in The Dad Pose™ when they're shooting a scene on the bus. and everybody gathers in to take pictures

when Kevin and Neil get all up in each other's faces their actors will pretend like they're going to kiss each other

not really a blooper but just all the actors for the foxes and the ravens mingling together in between takes and it looks so wrong

give me all the actors constantly taking the piss out of their characters

for ex during a scene where the monsters are in the car on the way to Edens, Nicky's actor looks towards the backseat where everyone is in character and goes wow what a fun crowd we are you'd never believe we're about to hit the club

night shoots are a. struggle. for Dan's actress. and the others love to take videos of her just standing on her mark with the most spaced out expression on her face

Andrew's and Neil's actors are shooting one of their typical intense, deep scenes and after one take, as soon as "cut" is called, Andrew's actor grabs Neil's face and starts serenading him with the song that's been stuck in his head all day

Renee's actress getting scolded for sneaking snacks into her costume

when Nicky's actor messes up a line (and he's the least likely of everyone to do it) he starts spewing Spanish

Andrew's actor constantly teasing his brother and Katelyn's actress whenever they have scenes together

like the two of them will just be talking together in between takes and Andrews actor will be behind the camera recording them and saying shit like "look at that MINYARD RIZZ" (or he'll use their actual last name) "hey btw [Katelyn's actor] I taught him everything he knows"

that scene where the foxes are rushing out of the dorm to check on their destroyed cars and Matt's actor just faceplants (Neil's actor: "wow. the dedication")

in one scene or other Allison's actress is drinking an iced drink and during one take she just keeps calmly shaking the ice around in her cup until one by one everyone cracks

in one scene Allison's actress is wearing sunglasses. and in between takes she lies down and on camera you can see Kevin and Matt's actors whispering trying to figure out whether or not she's sleeping because they can't see her eyes

Aaron's actor always using Neil's actor as a pillow during car scenes because they're always next to each other and they're actually hella tight irl

the kids love to steal any props that coach's actor needs to use (pens clipboards etc) before they start rolling just so they can watch him try to subtly fidget trying to find his prop before they get to the point in the scene where he actually needs it

all the actors just taking pictures together in the most brutal settings on set.

like Neil's makeup has his face all busted and everyone wants a selfie with him. they all have a photoshoot with the trashed cars. they have another one in front of the "happy 19th birthday junior" set. Neil is tied up at The Nest while they change his hair and Jean's and Riko's actors take selfies with him. another photoshoot with Neil handcuffed in the police car. all these settings in terrible scenes and the actors are in front of them with grins and peace signs

they're terrible.

[contrarianwitt]

okay going off my last post that mentioned matthew playing exy… it’s lived in my head for a while but imagine him being one of the fox freshman after neil!!

wymack looking at his photo and history and seeing obviously a sheltered rich kid who had loving family members, but also someone in desperate need of connection and a purpose

declan acting as his pseudo manager negotiating with wymack (even tho there’s literally nothing to negotiate)

ronan and declan both come to drop him (and ronan brings chainsaw which makes neil very very angry. not a fan of ravens)

literally everyone just has to love him, (neil and andrew are definitely wary at first and kevin thinks he’s kinda dumb but he has this unabashed positivity and drive for the game that neil and kevin respect)

he’s literally the kindest, easiest person to get along with. until one of the other freshman makes a homophobic comment, and he gets there before the rest of them and beats the shit out of them

him and renee go to church together when he gets homesick, and him and matt go boxing as well together

they literally think he has three brothers because he mentions adam just as much as he does declan and ronan

literally has the most visitors out of all the foxes. sometimes blue and gansey come to see a game, declan and jordan make the trip up, ronan and adam come from cambridge (doesnt ronan move?? or is that a hc) but he is very loved

one day they’re talking about car trunks and neil makes a joke about being put in one during baltimore and everyone is horrified except andrew ofc, but matthew just like “yeah man that happened to me in high school! it except it was my brothers crazy ex who wanted to blow the car up for 4th of july haha”

one time he gets inured in a scrimmage and the foxes have the pleasure of dealing with adam, ronan, and declan in the hospital which basically turns into the three of them bickering over matthew in the waiting room while the foxes watch

[mykennaleigh1]

The fact that Neil Josten canonically knows at least six languages is actually insane so here's my thoughts on all of them :)

English- English was his first language he learned (obvi). He grew up in Baltimore (hey im from MD too!!) so he pronounces words a little funny, like water as wad-der, and so on. Mostly soft t's and r's. Sometimes, he has a hint of a British tilt to some of his words, just bc of his proximity to Mary.

Japanese- I like to think that he learned a bit of Japanese in his father's house. This is his second oldest language, but it's also his second-least proficient. He never really had a reason to use it unless he was insulting Riko or talking to Ichirou. I like to imagine that he wants to improve his skills now that he has the time, so he watches anime in the background while he studies.

German- He learned German on the run, as we all know. He and his mom spent the first few years in Europe while his dad was still actively looking for them, and they bounced around from country to country for a while. I think he considers this his "second" language just bc it's the one he spent the most time using and practicing.

French- I love that he's canonically bad at French accents. He most definitely picked up French while he was bouncing around Europe, but like Japanese, he's not great at it. He got beat by his mom a lot for messing up the accents, and he could never quite grasp them. I mean, he got better for the sake of his own survival, but now that Mary's gone he can chill out a bit on perfect pronunciation. He considers French to be his "third" language, even tho the accent sucks.

Spanish- He knows a bit of Spanish from his time circulating the southern US. This is definitely the language he knows the least of. He can hold a slow conversation, but when Nicky starts to get ramble-y during their practice sessions he has to call it quits before he gets frustrated. (he still practices on his own bc even tho he doesn't have to run anymore, he wants Nicky to have a piece of home)

Russian- This is the last language he ever tries to learn. Him and Andrew pick it up fast, but they do it in such an ass-backwards way that they sort of suck at it. They 1000% just sub in German words when they don't know it in Russian and their accents are all off bc they don't have anyone around them to base off of. They both have like "second year of high school foreign language" level of proficiency but they both think they are great at it. Neil considers it his "fourth" language, when in reality he sucks.

[winningmymind]

Part 2 ficlet of my aftg au post ft Kevaaron and Andreil. Part 1

Aaron rarely interacts with his classmates. The feeling’s mutual. He doesn't talk to them and they don't talk to him. Unless it's absolutely necessary.

This Friday’s an important immunology exam, and since they're all future wannabe doctors that should get used to working with people they don't like nor care for in order to properly treat patients—Aaron and his classmates are forced to make contact on occasion for the greater good.

“Study group? Library. Usual spot.” 

A giant of a man cautiously approaches Aaron like he's a feral animal primed to attack at sudden movements once the professor dismisses their seminar. He shares a couple lectures and labs with Aaron. Unsurprisingly, he’s also deathly afraid of Aaron. After losing at rock-paper-scissors the giant, sadly, is tasked to offer Aaron the invite.

Aaron boredly stares up at him while zipping up his backpack. He purposely doesn't blink, after all he has a reputation to maintain, and watches how the shaky mask of cooperation cracks into slivers of fear and regret on the giant's face.

“Depends. Is Katelyn gonna be there?” 

Aaron’s hospitable enough to look away, attention glued to the exit doors, giving his cowardly and scholarly peer time to sigh a breath of relief now that he's not subjected to piercing hazel apathy.

“...Yes?” Wrong answer.

“Then, no.” Is what Aaron wishes to say because it's risky to be in vicinity with his ex outside of the unavoidable STEM department. If word gets out, Andrew might actually kill her for being near Aaron again and they can’t afford another murder case trial.

Unfortunately, Katelyn's managed to get the top scores on every immunology exam to date, so against better judgment, Aaron replies through clenched teeth with a “Sure. I'll be there.”

He ignores the obviously muted cheers and gasps of shock when the giant gives the lingering study group a double thumbs up from a couple desks away. Aaron rolls his eyes hard and quickly marches off to the doors, through the halls, to the split campus pathways. The only reason the rest of the premeds are tolerating his existence is because Aaron has made the Dean’s List every semester with his GPA. He’s useful to keep around, even at a distance, and Aaron doesn’t mind that all his relationships are purely transactional sans Nicky. That’s normally how life operates, right?

Contrary to popular belief, he and his twin Andrew are not close whatsoever like the rumors suggest. Any brotherly love between them is laughable. As far as Aaron knows, he and Andrew hate each other, and it all began with a letter.

“Yo! Aaron!”

Just his luck. He really wanted to take a comatose nap in his dorm room before Exy practice, but of course, he’s accosted by the most irritating duo in the world.

“Fuck off, Kevin. Josten.” Aaron politely greets, his leisurely stroll enhancing to a speedwalk. Worth an E for Effort when up against speedster strikers.

“Are you really gonna make us chase you?” Neil flawlessly matches Aaron’s pace, coming up on his left side.

“You’re done with classes, yeah?” Kevin takes a place at Aaron’s right.

How frustrating. Aaron sandwiched between the Exy freaks. Unable to outrun them. Makes Aaron madder when he realizes this is the same type of tricky play he and Nicky or Matt do to immobilize rival teams attempting to score on Andrew. 

He snarls. “What do you want? I’m busy.”

“No, you’re not.” Neil instantly counters, evilly snagging onto Aaron’s backpack, and it’s like he’s tugged on a dog leash with how Aaron is jerked to a stop against his will. Neil responds to Aaron’s scathing glower impassively and says, “We know your schedule. You’re most definitely free after 1pm on these days.”

Curling an eyebrow, Aaron growls. “Stalking me now, Josten. Wrong twin.”

“Right twin.” Neil lets go of the backpack and pockets his hands in his jeans. “Come to night practice with us.”

“Never.” 

Aaron rejects without thinking it over for a second. Not even for the fact that going above and beyond for Exy is a betrayal to his character. It’s simply because he takes pleasure in not bending backwards for the Foxes’ latest recruit.

Kevin wrings his wrists, taking the opportunity to slide his appreciative eyes up and down Aaron’s body from head to toe while he’s distracted staring daggers into an unphased Neil. He doesn’t get this attraction business, Kevin’s seen Andrew in all black all the time, but when Aaron wears an all black ensemble it is bewitching. 

“S’not stalking, by the way.” Kevin unhelpfully elaborates. “We know your classes because I’m literally your roommate. I see your calendar.” He fails to mention that he double checked with a talkative, unsuspecting Nicky earlier.

“And I’m the honorary roommate.” Neil adds on to Kevin’s excuse.

Aaron loathes that he has to take turns to scowl at them both. “You’re only honorary, Neil, because Nicky likes your company, Kevin and you are a packaged deal, and Andrew finds you interesting.”

“He thinks I’m interesting!” Damn. Aaron shouldn’t have said that. 

Neil’s entire demeanor changes. Spine straightened. Voice curious. Blue eyes widened and sparkly. He’s perked up like a pet being praised by its owner. Aaron considers murdering Neil for the umpteenth time in months for that reaction.

“You don’t have to do anything at night practice, Aaron. Just come along. For moral support.” Kevin gets them back on topic, sensing Aaron’s thinning patience.

“No means no, Kevin. Or should I tell Andrew you’re being pushy?” Aaron doesn’t mean to weaponize his twin in such a way. 

He only desires for the two thorns currently in his side to leave him alone. Unlike the others who got the message in a heartbeat and backed off to live another day, Kevin’s an anomaly when it comes to survival skills. Especially when it’s about bothering Aaron.

The former Raven turned Fox wormed his way through the cousins’ nearly impenetrable barrier to somehow be in their volatile favor. Kevin’s persistence left the other Foxes, Coach Wymack, and even the cousins themselves appalled. Perhaps, it was due to Kevin’s unusually rough upbringing for he imprinted on Andrew, Aaron, and Nicky (mostly Andrew though) like a baby duckling seeking safety and shelter. 

Kevin was so used to never being alone with the Ravens or Riko, that it made a smooth transition for him to latch onto how familiar the cousins’ dynamic is; being stuck together no matter how begrudged.

Aaron has no idea why in the hell Kevin believes Andrew and Aaron are safe when he knows the rumors are real. The Minyard twins have blood on their hands and they have no qualms about callously killing the same people over and over if given the chance. He figures Kevin has one too many screws loose to notice he’s not in good hands.

“No need for threats,” Neil cuts in at Kevin’s speechlessness. “We’re not empty handed. Do you accept bribes?”

“I’m listening.” Aaron squints suspiciously.

“I’ll check your Calculus I homework answers all the way to finals.” Neil can see Aaron’s hardened eyes flicker with confliction.

The Foxes know Neil’s a whiz at math. That he’s a weirdo that signs up for math as an elective because it’s fun to him. By no means is Aaron struggling with equations, he’s good at it, but to his discontent, Neil is the better mathematician of them. It’d be invaluable for Aaron to have an ace up his sleeve in Neil pointing out mistakes for him to correct before it’s too late to fix.

“I can just sit and do whatever?” Aaron wants to swipe Neil’s cocky expression off.

“Wait? You’re for real?” Kevin lights up and Aaron feels bad that the paparazzi aren’t around because they’d make a fortune snapping a shot of the Queen of Exy’s awestruck face. Aaron decides that looking at Kevin is a less annoying option than looking at Neil’s ugly mug.

“Don’t make me change my mind.” Aaron tells Kevin and digs through his backpack to shove his finished homework into Neil’s chest so harshly that Neil is knocked back a tad.

Without saying a goodbye or see ya later, Aaron abandons Neil and Kevin on the pathway. Neil forgets to shout a standard insult, prepared to ruin Aaron’s peace at any time or day, yet his eyes are entrancingly preoccupied at the papers of lengthy equations. Kevin triumphantly smiles, eyes remaining on Aaron fleeing the scene.

“This is a good start. Getting Aaron to agree.” Kevin turns to Neil.

“Told you I’m a genius.”

“Let’s not jinx it. We’ll see how tonight goes.”

Neil spares Kevin a glance. “It’ll go how I planned it.” He gives pause before adding with a shrug, “Hopefully.”

tagging list @icangotwiceashigh @little2nerdy @a-had-matter @luadusk

OPERATION: The M In Minyard Stands For Mine!——is officially a go.

Part 3

[stabbyfoxandrew]

hiii, how are you doing? today i had some time to read in the sun and it made me happy hehe : )

today's wipw post really made me want to read vampdrew (expect me to annoy you in the notes soon XD) but, in the meantime, could i request dealer's choice between arsonist neil and mafia front this week? thank you! <33

have a good week!!

WIP Wednesday (4/9) | Arsonist Neil / Firefighter Andrew AU (Part 296)

Andrew Thinking about me. Abram About us. What we were doing earlier. I liked it a lot.

Andrew grips his phone tighter than strictly necessary when his mind replays the way Abram had squirmed under him earlier. He'd been good. He was always good. Abram always kept his hands to himself and did whatever Andrew said. He was too good to be true. Maybe that's part of the reason he always feels the need to stop.

It feels simultaneously like seconds and years since he was hovering over Abram and sucking marks onto his neck. They'd only parted about half an hour ago, so Andrew has not been home very long at all. Just long enough to change clothes and shove a mug of water into the microwave to make some before-bed hot chocolate. Like grown men often do.

Andrew So did I. Abram Then why did we stop?

Andrew ponders how to reply to that. He stops when it becomes too much for him. Just before the point of no return. It’s... frustrating, sure. But it’s safest. At least he thought so. But the idea that Abram wanted to continue and didn’t say anything only proves that he respects Andrew’s nos. He taps out sentence after stupid sentence and erases each of them.

I got bored— I didn’t want to rush you— I wasn’t sure how far you wanted to go— You make me— I don’t want to ruin it and I will—

Abram On this phone I can see when you’re typing. Either you’re drafting a novel or not sure what to say. Andrew Fuck off. Don’t actually. Abram Mixed messages Andrew.

Before Andrew can get his fucked up thoughts in a row and figure out what to say, Abram’s messaging him again.

Abram I think I liked your hands on me most. But your mouth on my neck was good too. I have a couple little bruises you know. It’s kind of nice. Want you to do it again. And maybe we can do more next time. If you want to. Andrew I do. But sex is hard for me sometimes. That is why I stop.

Andrew sends the message with gritted teeth and wonders if his stupid honesty is the thing that will spook him off for good. But it's a useless worry, since Abram doesn't spook. Not about things like this. A man following them out of the movie theater the other day gave him heart palpitations, but sex is not an issue for him. The bastard.

Abram You remember how we fixed my social anxiety, or whatever you call it? Andrew Oh is it fixed? Abram You started texting me. Then we talked on the phone. Then we hung out in person. There were stages to it. Do you think we could Whoops I sent it too early. Actually never mind it's a bad idea. Andrew Are you asking to sext me Abram?

Abram's answer does not come as quick this time. Knowing him, he's gone to look up the definition of the word. So Andrew gives him a minute. The microwave beeps just as his phone vibrates in his hand. Andrew gets the mug out before glancing down at Abram's answer.

'Do you want me to?' Abram asks. Andrew reads it once, then again, before tossing the hot water in the sink and abandoning the mug on the counter. In his hurry he damn near walks into the wall, which he growls at before stomping into his room. Once he's locked the door and safe in his bed, Andrew sends his answer.

[dykekarkat]

your nuanced take on nicky is SO real especially the part where you pointed out that neil literally feels 1000x more violated by getting drugged (by his literally future life partner so clearly people grow and change !!!) than he does by getting kissed nonconsentually. obviously it makes him uncomfortable but he moves on because it’s like that wasn’t triggering for him it was just a bit gross. as long as that doesn’t happen we keep it pushing. on the other hand being forced into losing control and being unaware of his surroundings (the very thing that has kept him alive all these years) is a million times more triggering to someone like neil but everyone likes the sweep the harm from that under the rug. just because neil eventually understands why (disturbingly understanding guy tbh) doesn’t mean it didn’t affect him at the time. i think people kind of latch on to the fact that andrew drugged him but didn’t like do anything to him while he was vulnerable but that’s only bc neil got himself out of there. sure we know andrew would never sexually assault someone but who knows what he might have done if he had his way that night. i read this fic once where it’s neil’s 3rd or 4th year so his life is well established and then he gets in an accident and gets retrograde amnesia back to the night of the drugging and the fallout is crazy. bc all of the sudden he’s right back in that headspace of like if he distrusts one mf in the entire world it’s andrew. and for good reason! and also this is not andrew hate at all he’s my fucked up little guy but we do have to get real here ppl

okay responding under the cut yayyy i love talking about columbia its my favorite chapter in the first book. sorry for writing you a whole essay btw. also obligatory disclaimer that im not saying u have to like nicky / cant be uncomfortable with him and his actions / that sexual assault is okay / etc

i am once again. bringing up academic work. bcus i am in a crit sexualities class rn and its rlly interesting #mynerdinterests. i've actually already brought up gayle rubin's thinking sex when talking about andrew and jean's treatment in the fandom. and i WILL be doing it again bcus even tho the article is super controversial (and i definitely do not agree with everything rubin says) she gives us some really good vocab surrounding the innate beliefs / values that get drilled into us by american society. she brings up this idea called "the fallacy of the misplaced scale" which is basically that we give sex and sex acts an excess of significance, and that any sort of sexual sin is especially heinous or morally reprehensible.

this general idea is why i think people tend to feel fine with physical violations within media (for example neil getting drugged by andrew) but react more aggressively to any kind of sexual transgression (like nicky assaulting neil). both of these actions are Bad. andrew is taking away neil's ability to protect himself, drugging him against his will, and forcing him into an extremely vulnerable state. nicky is also giving neil drugs (on andrew's orders) with the addition of nonconsensually kissing him to do it. but people focus more heavily on that rather than andrew's actions bcus as you said "he didnt actually do anything" and bcus sexual acts are always elevated above others. i would argue this is also why you see people treat jean's trauma more seriously than kevin's. or why people will write neil getting sexually assaulted in the nest rather than just tortured for the extra angst. it adds an extra level of "seriousness" or "importance" to the violation that's occurred.

i also think one of the reasons people ignore the consequences around andrew drugging neil (or even nix it all together in their rewrites) is because andrew IS the love interest so we obviously get much closer and a much deeper look into his character and motivations than nicky. we also get neil's reactions to them which most people would probably consider abnormal, since he doesn't really care about the kissing and remains friendly with nicky p much immediately after (tho he DOES get rlly uncomfortable about the bed sharing. which i personally think is worse than the kissing by nicky) but he does hate andrew and heavily distrust him post drugging ("dont sleep ill kill you", checking the glass when he goes to eden's next). like even when he's like "wow andrew could hold my truth without flinching yada yada" he's still lowkey hating him for it, before it becomes water under the bridge due to neil's ability to let things go (this is a hashtag certified mary hatfordism. its definitely bcus of his time on the run). anyway wow i just wrote you a bonafide essay. sorry this got off track but i love complex relationships and emotions and sexual situations. and also i love andrew nicky and neil literally my top 3 aftg characters. anyway im saying all this in good faith hope you enjoy anon.

[minyard-05]

drunken/drugged confessions, kevaaron 👀

this got out of hand oopsies

(written largely whilst watching the battle of helms deep in lord of the rings, if that means anything)

prompt game

-----

"Have you tried talking to anybody who isn't us about this?" Renee asked gently.

Kevin sighed.

"Matt and Aaron are friends, Neil and Aaron just pretend they're not friends, Nicky is Nicky and also in Germany, and Andrew would murder me on the spot."

"What about Dan?"

Kevin looked over to the blonde that was perched on the kitchen counter.

"Allison already tells Dan everything I tell you two."

Allison nodded without looking up from her phone. Renee sighed, endearingly, and reached over to squeeze Allison's hand.

"Got any advice?"

Allison looked up.

"Honestly, Kev? If you're seriously trying to get over this Aaron thing, which I am generously only teasing you about internally right now, then just let me take you to a gay bar and you'll forget his name in five minutes."

Kevin was skeptical. It definitely wasn't the first time Allison had pitched this idea, and it most certainly wouldn't be the last.

"Honestly, Alli?" Kevin replied, mimicking her tone as Allison raised an eyebrow.

"I will be dead before I let you take me to a gay bar."

-----

They were in a gay bar and Kevin Day was very much still alive.

"C'mon, you're going to have fun. Let go a little!" Allison had to shout to be heard over the music, and Kevin settled for flipping her off so she couldn't pretend to mishear.

"Look, we'll stay for twenty minutes, and if you still hate it, movie night, okay?"

Allison squeezed his shoulder with her hand as she said it– Kevin knew that meant she was honest. If he pushed any further, if he seriously wanted to leave, she'd let him, no questions asked. Allison knew how to push, but she also knew when to let it slide. Kevin rolled his eyes, but said,

"Fine."

Allison clapped, and disappeared into the crowd not long after. Kevin aimed for the wall and managed to maneuver his way through the crowd before he found a spot to watch the dance floor.

It wasn't that bad, he thought after a while. More people in a confined space than he was usually comfortable with, but most of them pretty much stayed out of his way, and the various costumes and complicated outfits clubgoers had put together for their night out was entertainment enough. He felt moderately underdressed in a green shirt and jeans, but he was hardly the center of attention.

Somebody was, though. Even from this distance, it didn't look like he was trying to be, but part of the crowd just swarmed around him, twisting and moving in and amongst each other like the tide. A flash of blond hair in the middle of the crush caught Kevin's eye as he watched.

Aaron looked nothing like he did at Eden's back in college, though Kevin supposed he hadn't really been paying attention back then. Here, now, a year since he'd graduated, it was like he was a completely different person. Aaron's hair was longer, and he wore black jeans with silver chains hanging at his hips, a loose black shirt with a tight fishnet under layer, and a smile on his face that looked like nothing Kevin had ever seen before.

He watched Aaron move for so long he didn't notice when the blond finally appeared at his side, warm, close, unfairly gorgeous.

"No fucking way you're actually here, Your Highness," came the familiar voice, Aaron's voice, slurred from alcohol and barely audible over the pulsing rhythm booming through invisible speakers. Kevin stared at him.

"You're drunk," Kevin said, but that was obvious. Aaron grinned and downed the last of whatever was in his glass.

"You're gay," he replied, pointing an accusing finger into Kevin's face.

Kevin blinked, but pushed his hand away.

"Bi, but sure. So are you, apparently."

Aaron just grinned again.

"Nah," he said, nonchalantly.

"I just come for the..." he paused, taking a long second to look Kevin up and down before finally coming back to meet his eyes.

"Music," he finished.

Kevin felt something disturbingly familiar in his gut and did his best to ignore it.

"You here alone?" Aaron asked, swiping Kevin's drink from his hand and taking a sip, pushing it back with a grimace soon after.

"There's no alcohol in it," Kevin explained.

"And Allison is somewhere, I think."

Aaron raised an eyebrow at him.

"Reynolds?"

Kevin nodded.

"Huh. I didn't know you two still talked."

"You wouldn't," Kevin replied, too fast, and Aaron's expression suddenly turned dark.

"Fuck it," Aaron said, louder, and started to pull away.

"I'm getting another drink."

Kevin suddenly had a hand around Aaron's arm before he fully realised it.

"No," he said.

"Let go of me, Day," Aaron said fiercely.

"It's late, and you're already wasted. We should go."

"Who the fuck is 'we'?"

"Aaron," Kevin insisted, but he loosened his grip. Aaron tried to pull back again, but stumbled, shaking his head like he could make the world clearer by force. Kevin had to grab onto him again to stop him collapsing entirely, and he started to move them around the wall and headed for the door. Aaron pushed at him, but his strains grew weaker. Kevin held on as loosely as he could without dropping him, and finally they stumbled out into the night.

The street was quieter than he'd expected, but one glance at his watch said it was already past midnight. He briefly wondered what had happened to Allison, but all other thoughts suddenly vanished when he looked back at Aaron.

"Why the fuck are you even here?" he spat, sudden anger in his words as he finally forced himself away from Kevin, turning to face him.

A million answers suddenly spun around Kevin's head.

Wondering if Alli will let me drink again.

Trying to distract myself.

Trying to exist as something different for once.

Trying to forget about you.

"Did Andrew fucking send you? To come looking for me?"

Now it was Kevin's turn to stare in confusion.

"What?"

Aaron suddenly laughed, but it was bitter, cold.

"That's it. That's fucking it, isn't it? You can't just leave me alone, can you? Can't let me live my own fucking life for once, on my own!"

"That's not–"

"Why do you think I fucking left?"

Silence. Kevin watched Aaron, tentatively waiting for him to continue, but Aaron folded his arms, shivering in the December night.

"You were trying to forget about the Foxes," Kevin said, slowly, because it was all he really knew.

"I was trying to forget about you," was the response, sharp, angry, full of venom.

Kevin's head spun as he processed the words. He knew he hadn't been drinking, but he suddenly wished he was because this wasn't real. This wasn't right. Aaron had never been like that. Aaron had never wanted him. Aaron was straight, or Kevin guessed that wasn't true either, but whatever he was, this wasn't it. This wasn't how this happened.

Aaron stepped back, like he'd only just realised what he'd said, but he was still drunk, so Kevin instinctively reached out to steady him, but Aaron moved further away.

"Shut up," he said, even though Kevin hadn't spoken.

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. It's nothing. Fuck off."

Aaron turned to leave, and Kevin followed. He had to.

"Why were you trying to forget me? What did I do?"

Aaron suddenly spun back around.

"You– you don't fucking know? You don't remember?"

"Remember what?"

Aaron opened his mouth like he was about to speak but no words came. He stared up at Kevin, not angry anymore, but hurt.

"Aaron-"

Aaron's hand was suddenly over Kevin's mouth (IGNORE THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE), and he was shaking his head, voice lower now, almost gentle.

"Don't. Don't say it. I can't hear it from you."

They stayed there for a moment, Aaron's cool skin pressed against Kevin's, heartbeat pulsing steady against his lips, before Aaron stepped back.

"Goodbye, Kev."

Kevin watched him walk away.

-------

[ifitmeanslosingyouthenno]

i've got your blood on my hands

day 6 whumptober prompt: not realizing they're injured | "it's not my blood"

neil stumbles down the hall towards his dorm

god he’s fucking tired

he doesn’t think they beat him badly, but the hit to his head must have been harder than he remembers, because his head is pounding and he wants nothing more than to fall into bed (or maybe andrew’s bed) and sleep for 8 hours straight

fuck kevin and his night practices for tonight

andrew’s opening the door before he even has the chance to get his keys out of his pocket

most people like to say andrew’s face is a blank slate, but after the years, neil knows better, he can see the worry and rage in his eyes, the way his eyebrows twitch and the corners of his mouth pull downwards

neil almost sighs in relief at seeing him, rage and all

“where the fuck have you been?”

before he can reply, there are other sets of footsteps coming from inside the dorm, nicky with kevin close on his heels

“neil! you’re back! where were– neil! what happened to you?”

nicky’s voice is too loud, and his pounding head reminds him of how much he hates the light and the noise right now

huh he probably has a concussion

andrew physically hauls him inside the dorm, guiding him to a chair in the kitchen, and neil gently tries to swat him off

god his too tired for this shit

“i’m fine, ‘drew, i just wanna go to sleep”

“drew?”

it wasn’t intentional, but his voice slurred just a little bit, he’s that tired

“josten you’re covered in fucking blood and you definitely have a fucking concussion, sit your ass down”

“it’s not even my blood”

“like that’s any better,” kevin grumbles

“what happened neil?”

nicky’s voice is so soft, but he’s carrying the first aid kit they keep under the bathroom sink

wait when did he leave to get it?

“some guys tried to jump me on my run”

“tried?”

“yeah, they had a knife, but they were amateurs… i – i knocked them out”

andrew’s tense posture says everything he’s feeling, but neil hates to be the reason he’s so tense and stressed

“i promise i’m okay, can i just go to bed?”

andrew’s eyes harden, and of course he noticed his growing drowsiness. he’s just tired

“nicky, kevin, get out”

“what- but andrew-”

“andrew you have to make sure he’s not lying, i swear to god if he has to miss practice-”

“if i have to repeat myself it will be with a knife, day”

“jeez okay, we’re leaving”

once nicky and a very grumpy kevin leave, neil smirking at him as he leaves, andrew turns his serious expression on him

“yes or no, neil”

“you know it’s always yes with you”

his lips twitch in anger, but he doesn’t hesitate to pull neil’s running shirt off him

neil’s eyes are feeling droopy, but he’s aware enough to see andrew’s hands clenching into fists hard enough that neil doesn’t know if his shirt will survive the strength 

he focuses enough that he realizes andrew isn’t looking at his eyes, but at his bare, so despite how hard it feels, he forces his head to move, forces his eyes to take in his bare chest and abdomen and–

oh

so that’s why andrew’s angry

“oh”

“oh, he says, it’s not even my blood, he says”

now that neil’s noticed the stab wound on his lower abdomen, it’s like his exhaustion makes sense, and suddenly his brain catches on and nothing but pain engulfs his entire left side

he tilts forward before he’s noticing it, but andrew is there to hold him up with all his strength, pressing down on the wound hard enough that neil winces

his breathing is growing ragged, and oh– oh it makes sense that it’s bloodloss making him feel like this

“i’m sorry, i– i didn’t realize–”

“shut the fuck up josten, just stay awake”

he can feel himself fading, and he hates himself a little for not being able to follow andrew’s instructions

he’s growing soft, a stab wound wasn’t enough to incapacitate him before

“‘drew call abby, there’s– something isn’t right”

“what the fuck are you talking about? neil, neil, don’t fall asleep”

it takes everything in him to stay awake, “not- not the first time stabbed, something isn’t right”

“don’t you fucking die on me junkie, i will bring you back and kill you myself”

neil can feel andrew struggling to get his phone from the kitchen counter as he balances neil’s weight with one arm, “you wouldn’t do it”

“don’t let me prove you wrong”

“you love me too much to kill me”

he doesn’t even hear himself talking anymore, doesn’t feel his body anymore

“neil, don’t fall asleep, come on, open your eyes junkie”

he wants to, god he wants to so badly, he wants to see andrew and his pretty eyes and his handsome face

but his eyes are too heavy, he feels too heavy

and in andrew’s warm embrace, how could he not feel safe enough to drift away?

dw neil was just probably stabbed right in the spleen and needs surgery but he'll be fine title from blood by nothing nowhere, its not at all related but i could not find a single lyric or phrase that i liked for this prompt and i got tired of searching ajsk

[i-think-too-loud]

Renee headcanons??

the loml? ofc

-she bakes, but can’t cook

-she always has the most random items in her bag. nobody knows where she even gets them from, because it’s a small purse and she can’t even fit them back into her bag when she takes them out.

-renee doesn’t play exy professionally after college, but she strongly considers an offer from a team in california so she can be closer to jean his last year. (jean doesn’t let her take it)

-she can never show up anywhere empty handed. even if it’s just to abby’s, she always brings a bottle of wine or flowers or something

-the only time her hair isn’t dyed rainbow is jean’s graduation. she does a really obnoxious red and gold dye (and somehow convinces jeremy to do the same) and she swears he almost manages a laugh

-she’s a really poor gift giver, but even andrew pretends to like the things she gives them

-she and neil get really close her last year at Palmetto. the year Andrew is playing professionally while neil is still in college, he talks to her even more than he talks to Andrew.

-the only type of sweet she likes is white chocolate

-she LOVES flowers. any and all kinds. she ALWAYS has a bouquet on her desk (that allison buys for her)

-she can’t keep a plant alive for the life of her though, so that’s the closest she gets

-if she had any pet, it would be a reptile. likely venomous

-she learns how to crochet, but very poorly for the first year or so. (allison still wears every wonky piece of clothing she makes)

-the campus squirrels are just. really fond of her, for some reason. anywhere she’s walking between classes, she has a squirrel following her at any given time

-i think she and neil got into a prank war at some point. i can’t prove it, but she definitely won

-she immediately answers everytime jean calls her, no matter what time it is for either of them. it takes a while before she stops panicking every time his name comes across the screen. (she might still be a little traumatized from the call she got from him in the Nest)

-Andrew asks her for relationship advice all of the time. she once convinced him to grow out his hair and neil goes FERAL

-allison has gotten out of the shower many times only to find renee sitting on the bathroom counter, listening to her sing because she was bored (allison starts leaving the door unlocked for her at some point because she finds her adorable and likes being watched)

-she and jean tried long-distance dating at some point. but he reminded her way too much of herself before stephanie adopted her. of the trauma both of them still struggle to come to terms with. they both needed gentle, all-consuming love, and it wasn’t something they could make work from opposite sides of the country.

-she’s super strong. i mean obviously, since she canonically spars with Andrew’s buff ass. but she can and has bench pressed neil to make a point

-she made out with kevin once on a dare. she ended up laughing in his face immediately afterwards and kevin was SO offended he didn’t look her in the eye for a week

-she LOVES herbal tea. allison gets her into matcha at some point as well

-she and jean would fall asleep on skype. it helps both of them with the nightmares.

[simonsrosebud]

kevaaron cause why not

kevneil (both are acespec )

Matt/Nicky (I stan bi matt) Erik and Nicky are still friends but we're previously in a relationship, Erik has moved on (maybe nickys first love??)

andrew/Roland pre -series (theyre like a year apart cause I'm not sure how old Roland is but I've always thought of him to be a gay middle-aged man, but Andrew would be like underage and that's a nono)

Kandrew (acespec kevin?? Maybe on the demisexual spectrum??)

Renee/Allison/Dan or some variant/combination in the same au as Matt/Nicky

Jean/Neil , demisexual spec Neil

Kevin/Jeremy cause they were never given a chance and KEVIN I KNOW THERE'S GAY IN YOU demispec kev

Choose whichever pairing that inspires you most but PLEASE tag me in the writing cause I need more aftg in my life <3

okay i may definitely tag u if i do others but for the first one i couldn't help but do jeremy and kevin I JUST LOVE THEM

The thing about Jeremy, Kevin supposes, is that he really thinks that he could’ve been a Raven if someone had been paying attention all the way in West Virginia.  He had the same talent and stats that other strikers did when joining the line, had more of a height advantage than Riko ever did.

Being a Raven would have broken his spirit.  Kevin doesn’t think he’d ever forgive himself for that, knowing that he probably would have contributed to it at some point.

But then he wouldn’t be this, free and spirited and so fearless in showing unabashed joy.  Here, sitting in Kevin’s car, babbling on about California and how Kevin really should visit him next time so that he can show him around.  “I’m glad the sun has finally reached you,” he’s saying, “You look good with a nice tan.”  And it’s taking too much out of Kevin to keep his eyes on the road.

Jeremy’s hotel is just off campus, but it’s not far, and Kevin does have time, so he leans against the hood of the car while Jeremy lifts himself up onto it because “the height difference isn’t fair”.  It's only three inches, Kevin doesn't dare point it out. And suddenly Kevin is reaching out to smooth his fingers through Jeremy’s hair, soft and smooth and golden in the setting sun.

“Maybe it’s all this hair weighing you down,” he says.

Jeremy smiles, wide and lopsided and lazy, and leans into his touch.  “Never.  The hair is part of my charm.”

Kevin settles his hand on the hood of the car, then, all long legs and tall torso leaning so casually, and he’s pretty sure Jeremy’s eyes linger on his arms for a second longer than normal.  It makes his chest fluttery, so he says, “That’s what I used to tell Jean.”

And oh, Jeremy lights up.  “Yeah?  He tells me it’s unbearable.”

“He’s an idiot.”  Why would anyone ever say that?  “I used to talk about you a lot… in the Nest.”  He doesn’t really know why he says it other than he and Jeremy won’t be in the same place forever and Neil told him to stop holding back just because he’s scared of getting a letter in the mail from Ichirou himself.  So long as you send them their money and stay out of jail, your free time is your own.

With the way Jeremy preens at his confession, he thinks it’s the right call, anyway.  He taps Kevin’s closest finger with his pinky.  “What, about exy?”

“No.”

Surprise.  “Oh.”  Jeremy’s skin is honey gold and bronzed from the constant California sun, but Kevin’s never seen him sunburned.  The tinge of pink on his cheeks may be as close as he’ll get.  “Can I tell you something embarrassing?”

Oh no.  Kevin steels the lead in his stomach.  “Sure, anything.”  He can feel it coming, the inevitable, I feel flattered, you know, but I just don’t-

“I used to have a poster of you in my bedroom at home.” 

God, this was even worse.

“But I took it down once my older brother caught me kissing it goodnight before bed.”

Oh…?

Kevin opens his mouth, but doesn’t know what to say.  Instead, a smirk starts taking over his lips.  “You had… You used to kiss me?  Every night?”

Jeremy’s blush has traveled the length of his neck, but at least he laughs softly.  “Until I was, like, almost sixteen, yeah.”  Kevin taps his pinky finger back.  “Now I just do it in my head.”

Pause.

Kevin whips his head back up, shock surely coating his face.  “You what?”

And Jeremy’s face falls.  “I-I just mean- sorry, I didn’t- oh god, I just made this super,” he slides off the hood of the car, “awkward.  That’s not- I just meant that, like-“

Kevin grabs his hand when he gets too far.  Jeremy freezes, but doesn’t dare move.  Kevin works on his words, lets his mouth fish open while he tries forming them, and eventually says, “If I had a poster of you,” he frowns, “I’d, um…” he looks up at Jeremy, vulnerable and confused and maybe, possibly, the least bit hopeful.  “I’d kiss you goodnight, too.”

Grinning, now, Jeremy lets his hand fall further into Kevin’s, and gives it two squeezes.  “You can, you know,” he whispers.  He meets Kevin’s eyes slowly.  “If you want.”

Nothing could stop the jackhammering in Kevin’s chest, or the rushing of blood in his ears from how red his face probably is, but Jeremy’s voice comes through right as rain regardless.  He gives his hand a tug, pulling Jeremy closer, and steps towards him so that he has to look down at him.  Those three inches are going to kill him.

But Kevin must be taking too long, because then Jeremy’s hand is sliding up the side of his neck and pulling him down, and Kevin’s hands go flying to his sides, falling into the dip of his waist and wishing they could run up along his skin.  Jeremy sighs a bit into his mouth and drags his tongue along Kevin’s bottom lip, and then Kevin is pulling him closer until their chests are flush and his hands can slide underneath the thin t-shirt, hand splaying on Jeremy’s lower back and wanting to curl itself into the skin there.

Jeremy’s tongue is warm and slick and Kevin tries not to be embarrassed when he moans lightly into his mouth.  It makes Jeremy smile against his mouth, which really is Kevin’s own fault because he did not want this kiss to end.  Jeremy tucks back in for one more kiss, shorter but sweeter, his fingers gently scratching at Kevin’s scalp, and searches Kevin’s face from only inches apart when Kevin subtly tilts his head into his hand.

“I kinda had one more embarrassing thing,” Jeremy pants a little, a warm smile poking through, and god, everything about him is warm and sweet, so so sweet.  His skin underneath his shirt is warm like a fresh batch of cookies; tongue like a melted marshmallow daring to fall apart in your mouth;  smile like a rainbow after a hot summer shower and disposition of one that reminds Kevin of his mother’s comfort, of Abby’s hugs and his father’s safety.

Jeremy himself is a son of Apollo, Kevin is sure of it.

But Kevin doesn’t trust his own voice, right now, so he just nods and hums in encouragement.  He holds Jeremy close more decidedly, taking advantage of the contact and flattening his palms along the bare skin of his back and waist below his shirt.  He thinks for a moment it sends shivers down Jeremy’s spine.

For this, though, Jeremy goes up on his tip toes and tilts Kevin’s head to grant him his ear.  He nips at it, first, sending a shiver down Kevin’s spine, and says, “You’ve been number one on my list since I was fourteen.”

“God.”  It’s not intentional, but Kevin doesn’t even care at this point.  He’s heard all about these lists from Nicky.  He knew what it meant.

Jeremy laughs, quiet and contained and goofy, and props his elbows on Kevin’s shoulders to shelter them in.  “Would you like to come up to my room?”

[cubbyyyy]

A post about my favorite aftg relationships/friendships because why not?

1. Andreil. Of course. I think I actually don’t need to explain more but yea, they were my favorite part in aftg. they quickly became one of my favorite shippings and in my humble opinion love isn’t even enough of a term for them. No one will ever understand another the way they understand each other. They showed me what perfect compatibility looks like because in tiktok term - no one matches each others freak the way they match each others freak. I can’t imagine a neil without an andrew. they are different enough to make the other improve and similar enough to make the other feel validated. they aren’t afraid to show their dark sides bc the other matches the dark sides.

2. Andrew and Aaron. Twinyards. After Andreil their relationship intrigued me the most. The way they seem so indifferent towards each other but caring so much anyways is just so bittersweet. I live for their improvements. The way they legitimately killed for each other is just everything. Neil making Aaron understand that Andrew did everything for him and that he did the same is just so dear to me. Yea they misunderstand each other, but the brotherly love they have for one another could burn cities.

3. Neil and Matt. I love how matt just adopted neil. Neil may be a little crazy but Matt just goes along with it. So when Neil punches a guy, Matt hypes it up. Matt caring for Neil from the start was precious to me since I still wasn’t sure about the “monsters” in the foxhole court. like they seemed honestly pretty much demanding as fuck and I just wanted Neil to have a save, rest space while figuring them out and that’s what Matt gave him. (I especially like the trio of Matt/Dan/Neil). Matt is just the definition of a best friend and I’m glad Neil has his bestie outside of the monsters.

4. Nicky and Neil. Okay hear me out - when I think about Nicky and Neil I just pretend the eden incident didn’t exist bc I can excuse a lot, especially in fiction, but sexual assault is never on the list. So I made the choice to pretend it didn’t happen (i mean the books also pretend it didn’t happen lmao). And when you see them outside of the incident, they were pretty nice. I think Nickys cheerful personality helped to loosen the tension in the team (and monsters group). I loved when Nicky flooded Neils notifications so Neil wouldn’t flinch about them anymore. I also feel like Nicky played a big role in Neils growth. Like telling him to think about more stuff besides exy. Making Neil realize he has friends now. All that stuff.

5. Andrew and Renee. I just love how they’re sparring partners and understand each other so well, that they were the jogging team where they talk about possible zombie outbreaks.

6. Kevin and Jean. They didn’t have much screen time in the aftg series and I haven’t read the tsc yet, but their relationship intrigued me. This one I could possibly even ship romantically since they are so bittersweet that I just wish to save their ending. they formed a bond so deep but yet so scarred that it’s unexplainable.

7. Allison and Renee. I love them. I love how after Seth died, Renee took care of Allison. They just seem so fitting and I’m still shook they weren’t an official thing in the books.

8. Aaron, Nicky and Andrew. The fact that Nicky took care of the twins when he was barely an adult himself is just very precious.

9. Wymack and Neil. Honestly I could put him higher, I just forgot till now to mention wymack so he’s here. The scene at the end of the kings men where Neil asks for wymacks help is just stuck with me for life.

10. Kevin and Wymack. The fact that Wymack is Kevins father surprised me at first but then it made sense? When Kevin said that his father watches all his games I was ready to shed a tear.