#like i dont even want to watch the show anymore
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What I really like about Pluto is how morally gray almost every character is (with the exception of my baby Pim). I wanna talk about Kosol and May and why I think Ben is the MVP.
As a certified May defender my favourite ship is still Kosol x Jail. However alot of Kosol haters would be Kosol. Think about it. Your best friend is almost murdered and has to live the rest of his life disabled. His mom who is also a parental figure in your life kills herself. You want revenge but you cant go after the criminal who has all the resources to get himself a slap on the wrist so you go after the shady lawyer that got him off because in your mind its the lawyers fault.
She didnt hurt your friend but she let a criminal back into the streets. Her defense got him a win in the court of public approval. Instead of being seen as the murderous bastard he is he's seen as a hero now and your friend is a nameless motorpunk who deserved it.
Its terrible but it is realistic and the profession of law is fundamentally immoral. The job of a lawyer isn't to seek justice its to defend their client and while we the audience can understand this because we are far removed from the repurcussions of May's actions if it were your friend or your family you would be tempted to get some payback even if you didnt do it.
Cases like this cause me to have a huge amount of cognitive dissonance because i love stories about vigilante justice. I know if this story was from Kosol's pov I probably wouldn't feel as bad for May as I do.
With Pluto alot of the central characters have some sort of logic behind what they do no matter how shaky. The difference between villian and victim depends on the point of view and the amount of informatiom we have at any given moment. Kosol is wrong no matter how you slice it but the only reason why we think May didnt deserve it is because we know and love May.
May knows this too. She may not have hurt Ben or killed his mom but she set his attacker free. Her crime was enabling and she feels terrible about it because under normal circumstances she wouldn't do it. That's why she wont turn him in. She believes those who do wrong deserve punishment. In her mind she did wrong and the universe punished her. The specifics dont matter anymore especially when you factor in Ai oon's relationship with Kosol.
Back to Ben. I say he is the Mvp because he has every reason to hate May and hold what she did over her head forever. He has an idea of the guilt and anguish she's facing because he no doubt blames himself for his mom's death the way May does and he not only frees himself from the prison of guilt and pain he likely lived in for years, he freed her too. If I were in his position I wouldn't have the strength to do it.
This is very much an explanation not an excuse. As a May lover my favourite ship is still Kosol x Jail but as a person who sometimes lets thoughts slip through when I watch shows I have complex feelings about Kosol. No love or hatred just confusion and because of that he may be one of my favourite gl characters in 2024. In terms of writing.
Side note: Ai oon's reaction to finding out the news also reinforces this point. She was far removed from the repercussions of Kosols action. She saw only the "villian" side of May and decided to pass judgement, determining what she did and didnt deserve. Then she meets May and falls in love. Now she is haunted by the fact that she not only enabled the crime that caused the person she loves most to become blind. She inspired it. She planted the seed. We can say she did nothing wrong. I maintained that stance till i found out she knew exactly what Kosol did and didn't stop him. Now I think she is partially guilty but ultimately Kosol is a grown man who makes his own choices and he choose to do what he did. The real question this episode is asking is how do we measure guilt. Does being a bystander make you guilty? An enabler? Or a perpetrator? The answer is all but only sometimes. Everything is relative it just depends on who is telling the story.
The last thing I'll say is there is no villian in this story just people doing questionable things for love and getting mixed results. I know the gl fandom loves a black and white hero vs villian narrative. I have fallen victim to this in the past when talking about kosol and oom but pluto has shown that its a show that requires a more critical lense. Lets ignore personal feelings about the characters for a minute and really examine their actions as objectively as we can. The discourse around the show could be so fun if we did.
#pluto shows its characters playing many roles#villian#hero#sibling#lover#they're so complex and human#i love it#some of us would be kosol#and we still hate kosol#but also dont briefly#the beauty of the morally gray#might do a whole post about oon vs oom and their dynamic#i used to be a oom hater#now i'm an oom understander#thai gl#pluto the series
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Moral ocd around fiction is the worst. because I can't even connect or get attached to characters anymore unless they've done little to no wrong. and if they've done something problematic (regardless of if they've grown/leaned from it) I will feel crushing guilt for ever enjoying them. It has taken escapism from me
#and by problematic i dont mean like weird shit like r*pe or something absolutely not i mean like.#typical morally grey character stuff#i started a series and theres a character i kinda like and literally one of the first posts i saw in his tag was calling him an abuser ??#like what. when does this happen. what happened. he was so sweet in the first few eps ??#like i dont even want to watch the show anymore#and idek if that claim is true but OCD said no. so now we're not doing it#this cycle has happened several times already#im so tired#diary
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#polls#personally i dont like it but thats only because i dont like fandom. the type of stuff that gets the most attention#in fandom usually just annoys me idk. how to explain it in a way that wont come off as me saying#fanfic or whatever is evil its just the fact that it just bombards alot of the conversations?#i prefer it when the thing i like has 10 fans and theyre all on one message board or forum#like for example mtvs downtown is getting popular but apart from annoying#'me and the mid nerd guy i copped by being weird and sexy' posts its not awful....#but then smth like... clone high or smth i suddenly cant remember ppl just got so annoying abt that show??#like i cant stand it i dont even bother watching it anymore plus its just weird to me now like i can't watch it regardless#im just rambling but personally i do not like it. like i dont want what i like to get a revival#i dont want anything new! i just want to enjoy the thing and move on 😭#fandom seems to prioritize shipping and memes over evaluating or simply just enjoying something!#this goes for anything. music film tv books....
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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#i walked into a situation today where my mom was effectively already dead. effectively bc her body was and is still alive. still breathing#painful groaning purrs. but her mind was gone yesterday. my dad said he showed her a picture of the mountains i took that day and told her#i loved her and she smiled. thats what he said. maybe he was just being nice. or maybe thats the last time she thought of me. i dunno. but#the human body is an incredible thing. shes got a heart still powering a broken body. too full of tumors to function anymore. stomach#streched like a pregnant mother. it happed really fast and now its happening very slow#im somehow probably better off than the rest of them. i only got here for the aftermath of a downslide. my daily life will b least effected#i only really saw her twice a year living so far away and she didnt text much. didnt call often. so life wont change much ill just kno shes#not there. which is sad. but theres nothing to b done abt it. life goes on. it hasnt been all bad tho. its nice to talk to my family abt her#how incredible she was. bc she was. wish her mom wasnt here tho. she doesn't deserve to b here. my mom wouldnt want her here. she didnt want#her here. but anyway. i wish her body would just let her go now. so we can sleep. so this can be over. so she can rest#but even like this shes stubborn and resilient. they say it could go on for days but i hope not. may the universe let her rest shes gotta b#so tired after 10 years of this. but i have no regrets. she knew how i felt abt her. and i dont think she had regrets either. she did so#much up to the very end. went out on a high note without the burdon of knowing it was coming#i dunno. its just such a strange experience to watch the empty shell of your mother sleeping like a gurgling baby#unrelated
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#tbh i only gave 911 another go because of bucktommy#i dont even know if i want to continue watching it anymore#half the time it seems the writers are trying to undo what another writers mightve written#like they are racing to trying to write over someone else's writing#wouldve liked the have the break up at least next season let the charcters stew in their current relationships a bit#but they almost seem adamant on having buck in a different romantic relationship every season#its the main reason i had dropped the show in the first place i really couldnt care enough about certain characters before they were gone#i feel kinda crazy because i dont see anyone saying this so plz tell me im not alone in this#oh and dont get me started on eddie stroyline since s7#because what#huh#excusie?#😃#this is not a cw show but it sure felt like i watching one#imma stick to 911ls for now even tho i HATE rob lowes charcter taking over every plot line#no u dont understand i DESPISE him#but i love literally every other charcter so ... 🙄#i guess ill deal with that man on my screen#911 spoilers#911 abc#bucktommy#911ls
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I see ur into dc and have to ask if u’ve watched ‘under the red hood’? :)) its a really good animated movie if u havent!
i haven't! i only got into dc because of tt robin and i only ever cared about media that included him or was about him xd AND i was very picky. I do want to broaden my horizons so thank you, i will check that movie out :]
#honestly little me hated all the other robins cause i was like i only want MY robin >:(#and I hated that he got replaced and went by a different hero name xddd i liked him as a kid i did NOT want to see him as an adult#and it made me hate everything that happened after he grew up xd#you cannot imagine the tragedy i lived through when young justice had a time skip and he wasn't 14 anymore tou cannot imagine the#disappointment i felt at that moment I literally never picked up that show again i just abandoned it i didnt even watch the first episode#of the new season i just couldn't do it xdddd#see i am very attached to robin. i still agree with all my decisions i like him the most and i dont want to see him as an adult i just want#the little guy cause he entertains me
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okay so im back in navbar hell (when i thought i escaped...!!!) but ive managed to get this set up today :D
#my issue is that im trying to make the navbar properly responsive and have a toggle option once the screen gets too small#if u look on my blog i had it on my last attempt at this because i was using bootstrap but i was like okay i gotta make a new project!#cause i wanted to use nextjs#and not have to worry about backend stuff as much#okay so like..... i know im being kinda stubborn here lol#i could just slap bootstrap on and copy my old code but i dont wanna#i already have tailwind on here and i dont want to confuse myself anymore#so ive been looking for navbar tutorials using tailwind to help and omg#i thought i found a good one and then i realized it used a specific js package which i cant use cause im using typescript...#and i cant find a ts version#so now im just set on doing it without any outside stuff#like just show me how to make the thing with just html and javascript#at least that way i can just translate the the js to ts on my own!!!#anyways lol i found a video that should help...pls#ill watch it later....#but today im tired#webdev#codeblr#wip#this site will happen i swear I SWEAR#AHHH#there so many things to help but after a certain point its like...i dont even know whats happening and now im confused#and god forbid things start conflicting with each other#so i just want something that will spell it out clearly#but yea if u see this and think im confused (which i might be)#im always open to links to videos
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so many expenses this month and most of it isnt even for me :(
#i hate that my family thinks i have lots of money even though my brother made a lot more than me#mom keeps telling me my brother might need it in the future so she refuse to ask him any#really shows that they do not respect me at all about this#and the worst thing is its always very sudden#a cold 5 min call where mom tell me “pay for this now! dont postpone it” and the payment is almost 1K#and my stupid ass cant even say no because if i say no they will make me feel guilty and then i feel like i wanna kms and end up paying anw#god#parents are gonna go on vacation soon#watch they'll be calling me soon to give them more money#and then go hom from there#and not bringing me any gift as usual#why should they care about the faggy child that failed to achieve his parents assigned goals#if anything putting all family expenses on me will quicken my death or worse force me to go back to them#so they can hold me and mold me back into what they want#i know their plan and i refuse to follow it#but they probably just need to shout on me once and i'll follow whatever their ask.. sad#i want to recoup by taking commissions but last time this happened and i took too many comms it ended up taking more than a month#i dont think i can handle that much anymore#AAAAAAAAA im tired
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now that we’re on the topic i would fucking love to read through the sheet music for nerdy prudes must die… not even to play or try and put on my own performance but just so i could read it and follow along with the show to try and work out all the harmonies
#this is a complete hypothetical#i get why it’s not available ofc and why thats not something you can access or even something theyd want to try and market or sell#but in the way of like.#imagine i could check it out of a library and just have one or two watch throughs of the show with it in front of me#and finally FINALLY pick out all the different notes im hearing clearly so it all clicks together in my brain#i dont even really do that much music anymore so my sheet reading skills are probably out the window#regardless imagine how fun that would be to just peruse the score while you listen to the songs#would heal something in me i think#i dont want/need to own it and certainly wouldnt want it for like putting on my own show or reproducing it or anything like that#i just think it would be fun to flip through like a magazine like a coffee table book like a film script#anyway you should all totally buy the bonus content and digital download of npmd if you havent already it is 100% worth it#im having the time of my life#TEAM STARKID I LOVE YOUUUUUUU#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#starkid#tilda rambling
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the thing that really gets me about ocd is that you can have obsessive thoughts about ANYTHING. and that shit will keep you up at night no matter how tired you are bcuz it's all your brain will think about. close ur eyes and u can see it like it taped to the back of your eyelids
#like i gotta be up in less than 5 hours can i please. catch a break#and the best part!! is that sometimes the things your brain is looped on dont bother you in the moment#like earlier when you initially saw or heard about or thought about the thing#but guess what- its later now and youre sleepy now and sleepy brains dont care about things the way awake ones do#or sometimes care way too much#i honestly can hardly watch shows anymore for lengths at a time becauee then my brain will start to latch onto it#so even when im tired and want to sleep i will not stop thinkint about it#like ughhjjfjfkgkgk#thank u for coming to my ted talk#westy's shit#ocd
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at some point i am going to have to force even to go back and deal with donna & tentoo & rose & all and everything they ran away from. and that will probably involve them losing tentoo’s chameleon arch watch by giving it back to its rightful owner, whether she chooses to open it or not. and that is. not going to be a very fun or stable time for them.
#this part is v vague and fuzzy because i want to watch the rest of 12 & 13 and finish the doctor/donna specials before i set anything in#stone about it. but i think i need to rearrange some things in the timeline here vis a vis when the doctor is also forced to go back and#deal with his baggage.#i dont think 14 exists in even’s universe for this reason. and for the reason of tentoo kind of taking on his role? the human part of the#doctor who can stay with donna & with rose.#she’s also trans to me because i love trans!tentoo. her name is johanna. i think it’s pretty. i make a singular exception to my rule of#never changing characters names when i trans them.#but i think. what im getting at here is that this cant be a happy ending. not so cleanly. its more bittersweet.#like i think this version of the story. what i have so far. donna does remember. (tentoo doesn’t but that’s because she’s become her own#person. the doctor is who she came from but she isn’t just the doctor anymore.) and rose knows her doctor is out there and loves her but#she has her wife at home.#and even. oh even. you can’t hold onto a heart that’s not yours forever. you have to give it back.#this. i think. is a moment of respite and recovery for the doctor. and a really really low point for even. however this works out.#its not perfect but there’s kindness in it. and there’s a home to go back to. if they can bear it. both of them.#but like i said. this is all preliminary based on what i might play around with here. and how watching more of the show changes my ideas.#but i think. whatever revelations come in 13’s arc. i think in even’s universe they have to come after donna. i’ll find a way to make it#work.#but mostly right now the important thing is forcing even to give up the watch because why would i let them have one single comfort object <3#dw oc
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and this is old news now but my own perspective on the project sekai miku movie as a mobile game outsider who just likes some of the tunes - all i really hope for is that i'll be able to follow the plot somewhat with my very limited knowledge because it does look like it'll be a fun watch. i know there is like dimensions. the dimensions include: alt rock world. depression world. carnival world? etc. furirn and tomoriru voice characters. i like the trans one in depression world. and the little orange guy in EDM world.
#i also like the one voiced by akina. who i only know because of utaite reasons LOL i like her voice#i also like the voice of the loud blonde boy. i like that hes loud#and the girl with long dark hair from alt rock world has a nice voice too#sorry. this will be my knowledge. im cursed with mobage. i used to be able to handle it#but now even if this game ran on my phone i know i would skip the cutscenes 😔😔😔😔😔#NOT because theyre bad or anything im sure theyre good. but i dunno i straight up do Not have the patience for mobage progression anymore#and i also dont like watching videos of visual novels so watching the stories online is also out. i will only learn the plot if 1)#they release a commercial console port of the game with mobage progression tweaked out OR#2) much more likely it gets a full anime adaptation someday. which i'd be intrigued!#although then we will also reach my other issue. inability to watch a show no matter how much i want to#ITS NOT as dire as my mobage blockage tho like i can push myself. i will have fun. but i am le scared. what if a show kills me. ?#no one suffers more than i. the person who loves big glossy anime idol-y music franchises but cannot play mobage or watch anime.
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discovery of the day
#im sorry i do Not see what everyone sees in this movie. although from the years of browsing the internet ive began to realize#that i actually dont know if people actually like the movie or not#why is everything so rushed#their romance felt like nothing to me because i dont KNOW what they see in eachother#listen you dont have to tell me straight up into the camera why they love eachother#but the aggressive kissing and cut sex scenes arent telling me much#i get that it came out in 2005 but cutting mostly every gay sex scene? even the kissing for the most part?#but oh we NEED to see this happy husband and wife doing it. yes im bitter#a german movie by the name of summer storm came out the year before this one and actually shows something that feels like actual passion#i sound like i need to see people doing it in these movies all the time I promise thats not it#but even the kissing? the thing i Actually like the most? the thing that makes me feel things? felt like nothing at all#and oh i forgot that this is a tragic gay movie where one of them dies. Oh yeah. forgot.#mentioning summer storm again: it actually has a relatively happy ending. feels good that i dont need to be reminded of how gay people are#doomed 24/7.#the romance started good. with jack telling the guy whos name i already forgot to get his ass in the tent already.#the Pulling his arm over my body thing. it was going great#THEN IT WENT SO FAST! WHY WAS HE SUDDENLY SO INTO IT! WHY WERE THEY BOTH SUDDENLY DOING IT#im sorry i expected a slighter slow burn than this!!! calm down cowboys i have no idea why you two like eachother all of the sudden!#i seriously thought they would show these little moments of tension#and it just growing bigger and bigger#until they couldnt take it anymore#that would explain the aggressiveness of it! why they were so desperate! but it literally just HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!#im sorry i. I expected more of this movie that i hear so much about.#the most it made me feel was at that moment that turned into a meme where i thought “Hop on fortnite”#chuckled. that was it. did i cry? did my heart race at any moment? was i worried about what was gonna happen? not Once#im so. Disappointed.#after this i wanted to watch summer storm but netflix removed it. Its a german only movie no one knows from 2004. where the hell am i gonna#🏴☠️ that#AAAGHHHH!!!!!!!#not being able to watch summer storm made me cry more than this movie did What the hell
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😐😐😐
#the Autism feeling of being somehow so disconnected from everything and everyone in a way that will never be resolved#i feel like i emit some sort of uncanny valley idiot loser radiation that drives people away or makes them dislike me#i feel like i need to be funny or entertaining ALL THE TIME because its all there is to me#like i am more of a joke than a person and people either get uncomfortable when i'm anything other than happy or get bored when i#stop being entertaining to them somehow#i think its like if you watched a funny tv show and then suddenly it becomes more serious for a bit but you are there for comedy#and the show keeps on doing that and you dont like that so you drop it because its not worth it anymore if its not what you expected#does that make sense#every time i see people irl i am so incredibly stressed that i wont be funny enough. because i think theres nothing else for me to offer#the sense of isolation is worse again and idk why :(#and i dont even know if i want to reach out to friends because i feel like if i do they'll feel obligated to talk to me even if they may not#want to#ughhhhhghhh#delete later
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Sasuke is Out! Sasuke is Doing things! What will Sasuke do?! I have no idea!!! I've never gotten this far in the story before, so I have no idea how things are going from here!!!! But Sasuke is Loose!!!!!!
Quoting this post to myself as I see Sasuke walking around and doing things. I haven't seen this guy do anything in like a hundred episodes. It's so exciting
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#it's so sweet seeing Suigetsu and Jugo trying to find Sasuke again#meanwhile Karin is under lock and key. yet shes playing with their expectations to her advantage#her pretending to be just the stupid sasuke obsessed girl to make them not pay attention to her#to let her keep the picture that actually contains some fucking lockpicks. crafty af#and her GLASSES??? the arm of her glasses is hiding a little secret knife?!?!! thats so cool karin wtf#i love when shes shown to be capable like this. like her sasuke fangirling was real. before.#but idk about now after he tried to kill her. he does Not deserve to keep her affections after that for Sure.#but shes still using the act. making people underestimate her. so crafty. like fuck yeah you go you funky little outlaw#i do love that shes genuinely a bitch. i hated her when i was younger bc i hated sasuke#and the fangirling still does annoy me. but shes also more than the fangirling.#shes so COOL when shes not obsessing over sasuke. i wanna see more of her!!!!!#unfortunately now i have to go back to this shit ass kage fight. really boring to me. now that sasuke's out i dont caaaaaare#it's just a bunch of OP ninja throwing rocks and shit at each other. madara literally dropped Two giant fucking meteors on the battlefield#like it was just one and it was a huge deal but tsuchikage and gaara stopped it. yay!!#but then it was such a Gradeschooler One Upping You moment where madara was like. Heh. well actually. theres Two.#and the 2nd one falls on the first and kills a bunch of people etc etc like come onnnn this isnt even fun anymore#we're just committing massive ecological damage all around#also killer bee literally PURPOSEFULLY clearing a massive section of forest for the sake of visibility#NONE of these ninja care about the environment!!!!! those poor trees and creatures!!!!!!#anytime theres some kind of poison something and they show it off by having birds or whatever die like#STOP!!!! youre killing the environment!!!!! stop it!!!!!!!!!#anyways what a show. the more ridiculously massive the fight gets the less fun it is to watch.#why should i care about guys throwing boulders at each other. Boringggg show me some people punching the shit outta each other.#THE TAIJUTSU!!!! WHERES THE TAIJUTSU!!!!! STOP WITH UR OP NINJA MAGIC SHOW ME TAIJUTSU!!!!!!!!#i also really want to see itachi. where is he. sasuke's loose now i know he teams up with itachi Where Is He....#LETS GET SOME UCHIHA UP IN THIS BITCH!!!! madara get ur pasty ass out of here and tobi stick your head in a toilet#only the uchiha BROTHERS here get those old guys OUTTA HEREEEEEEE#anywyas i actually folded some laundry while watching. wild. having fun rn
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