#i am truly upset right now
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I'm watching "My happy marriage" on Netflix and God damn is this girl annoying! People are throwing her less than breadcrumbs and she thanks them for it. Hell, those the "good-ish guys" are throwing her fucking rat poison and she still thanks them for it.
I was hoping there'd be some character growth, that she learns to recognise the abuse around her and learns to stand up for herself. And while there's been some of that as well as trusting her husband's family that is actually worth trusting. She still not even remotely recognises, how 95% of people don't give a shit about her personally and only want to use her for her power. Half her family literally abused her because they thought she had no power and the other half left her to that abuse before they found out she would be useful. And this girl still fucking thanks them for it!!!
She has been abused for such a long time and the fact that no one sits her down and explains to her that it wasn't her fault, that she didn't deserve to be treated like that and needs to ask for help, if ever anyone else locks her away or forces her to do things she doesn't want to do, is upsetting in its own right.
God damn it. I hate romantic anime.
#i might hate it less if my last ex didn't ecpect me to fucking act like a girl from a romantic anime#seeing it now upsets me even more#cause while the husband is stereotypical cold and distant in the beginning he quickly sees her for who she really is and what issues she#has and tries his best to help#and yes that is super sweet and romantic in tv#but fuck if it doesn't make it more obvious to me now that my ex never actually fing saw me#but rather just some cookiecuter girl with which he could play house ala romantic anime#that should feels the greates joy and satisfaction and love for him at the toniest thing he does#even if it is not something i asked for or wanted#god damn he expected me to read his emotions at every time and now what he needed and couldnt ever ask for help but he couldn't even be#bothered to try and see my issues and go and help me#not that i need my partner to fix me#but the god damn hypocrisy#watching this show is eye-opening to a degree i feel i dont even have eyelids anymore#i am truly upset right now#lumi talks
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Sometimes I'm reminded just how much of a deity of violence I am.
#statchiscreams#I am so upset right now#not even angry I'm just upset#and I really think bashing a man's head in would alleviate my upset#hearing the crack of bone under my hands would fix me#I wish I wasn't serious#I wish this was a joke#I hate having these feelings dumped onto me because I'm truly not any better at dealing with them#it just morphs into the desire to hurt#aspd thoughts#actually aspd
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𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔
#it hurts but it is natural and im not oversensitive and im allowed to feel this way#the future i had envisioned and hoped for and believed in was just.. suddenly gone and im allowed to mourn the loss#because for an entire year i've been wanting this. and imagining it and thought of ways it could be real#and i didnt base my feelings only on imagination but on his words and him saying that we should figure out whatever was between us#and in the way we talked and what we shared and how he did start treating me as 'his girl'#which i also do not think was irresponsible nor am i upset by that. bc i wasnt 100% present bc of my avpd stuff#but it was so amazing and he was so amazing and i'd been having feelings for him for half a year before and then i only fell more and more#im trying to be as non specific as possible bc like i can only talk abt *me*.. but there were just sm other things and circumstances#so it got less and less intense.. and i wanted to give him space and patience and not push smth on him and be insensitive#then i told him abt being in love w him and wanting to be there for him w his struggles and working it out together#and im embarrassed af but i had honestly thought... that would be met well and with reciprocity...#(i understand that feelings cant be forced & im not upset or feel betrayed i just felt v sad bc i was so sure he would want me to be his gf#but i got neither a clear rejection nor much of what he was thinking abt me and what was between us. mostly just that it wasnt a good timin#so again i wanted to respect that and not keep push it. even if i tried bringing it up sometimes it never got anywhere and it didnt feel#right to just keep and keep on doing it. then there were times when i /felt/ rejection and got more hope based on interactions#truly i've been walking around for a year believing that this was smth that would come true if only we could talk#and i've been waiting and hoping and loving. and i've really been thinking of it as a real future#i even tried telling him a few months ago that if he wants me he can have all of me but he told me to stop so i did#and now i've learned that none of my devotion or hope was returned... i've been in this waiting room all alone all this time#i thought i was patient bc of all the other things but he couldnt give me a chance but he did for someone else and that just hurts#idk it hurts bc this love and connection meant so much to me and i wanted to do anything to make it work#and when u realize all of a sudden that it was only u who felt that and that future u so badly thought would happen isnt real#.... i feel extremely lost and despairing. plus it just is how i feel but i've only been this connected to him#honestly it might sound weird how i can feel this much for someone i've never met irl but he has been my only hope and comfort#for the past years he hs been my only comfort and the only thing making me feel good and ok and hopeful.... so it hurts it hurts it hurts!!
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The amount of scammers trying to take advantage of the fact that a real world genocide is happening in order to get a quick buck is genuinely fucking sickening and if i keep getting asks from days olds accounts trying to send me their paypal i am going to scream
#i'm philosophical#i got a bunch of follows yesterday and two different asks#from fake accounts (i believe) and truly you people are despicable if you try to pull that shit on others#i know people need money to live but Not Like This#there should be No Reason people are doing this type of thing but scamming has been a thing for as long as trade has existed#i shouldny be surprised but i am honestly so upset right now about this
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Having a serious George Michael moment at two am.
#we're having serious family problems#the kind you should call the cops about if you trust the cops#instead i called my dad#i have never asked him for anything#not in like thirty years#and i begged him to come as soon as he can in the morning#i can't be the only adult here anymore#and my abusive dad who has religious delusions is my only option#and for literally the first time in my entire fucking life he's coming to help me#i think i scared him with my crying#i don't think he's ever seen me cry in like the last thirty years or so#i am terrified though#so I'm listening to George Michael because he and Elton are the most comforting music i can think of right now#maybe I'll add some Madonna to this playlist#anyway everything is hard right now and i truly don't know what to do when the systems society has in place for this aren't an option#and my cats are like an hour away#i really might delete this later#I'm just so upset???#i needed to write it out for a third time in a third place
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Drowning out my feelings with Dr. Pepper, falling back in love with Silence is Golden But Consequences Are Red, and thoughts of Mother Hen Wolf Shifter!Ghost
*rant in the tags if y'all want*
#i have been having entirely too many feelings lately#and not a time nor place to cope#I have been having far too many conversations about the future and it's starting to make me freak out#this aquarium trip was supposed to help me answer the questions I had about what schooling/degree I would need to be an aquarist#all it did though was make me realize that being an aquarist may not actually be right for me#which now means I don't know what I would be going back to school for#which sucks absolute ass because I miss being a student. I miss that freedom and I miss learning#i miss being a college student so badly actually and I honestly regret dropping out. Like I did before but now#I always told myself it was for the best cause it's better than failing a semester and tanking my GPA#but now I've been stuck in this horrible depressive cycle and feeling so fucking burntout I can barely function half the time#now I don't have any time or energy to do things I love let alone do some self learning#I currently don't see any point in going back to school cause I don't even know what I would go back for and it's fucking scary#all of my siblings have had major things happen and are progressing on with their lives#and like I get i'm barely even in my twenties and I shouldn't be panicking this badly about my life#I feel like half of my troubles are self inflicted even though they're really truly not#but I can't help but feel I've doomed myself and my motor functioning is worsening#my executive functioning is down the fucking toilet and I can't fucking fix it and it's upsetting me#but god i just had a birthday this past week and about three years ago when I started college#I really believed I'd be in a much different place at this age than I am now#and it's scary it's fucking terrifying and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing and all I am doing is spiraling really badly
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I'm trying to find ways to slowly ease my way into taking walks (debilitating social anxiety) so I was going to download pokemon go again but my phone is too old :(
#im actually very upset abt this lol#all of the other tricks ive found rely on having a dog to walk#and like i would love to get my own dog but i absolutely cannot afford one lmao#so i guess i just. still can't go on walks#nobody seems to understand just how impossible it is for me to walk down the street when im not trying to get somewhere#like just going for a walk for fun/to look at nature feels like im being killed#people are LOOKING at me and when someone even so much as glances at me while im walking i instantly feel like I'm doing something wrong#or like they're going to misunderstand my sort of odd behaviors#i can't walk slow because they'll think im a stalker. i can't walk fast because ill get out of breath and they'll think im disgusting#i can't keep a normal pace because im too nervous and i just spend the whole time tense and hate myself even more when i get home#like. what the hell am i supposed to do lol#getting a dog is the only way i think i could stop myself from spiraling like that bc of COURSE im walking slow and leisurely.#im walking my dog. my dog wants to smell and has to poop or whatever#im no longer a freaky fat stalker im just some guy walking my dog#this became more of a vent than i was expecting lmao but if anyone has any actual tangible tips for how to go on walks i would appreciate it#when i had to walk 2 miles to class i used to take a small part of an edible right before i got on the bus lmao and that worked WONDERS#but i don't want to have to do that just to walk around my own neighborhood when i eventually move out#i just want to be normal lmao i want to go out and find bugs and look at leaves#i guess i could walk in the woods but what if i get lost#i want to be able to look at stuff. i want to be able to stop and look at a plant while some person passes by me#without feeling like im going to blow up or like they're going to hit me or like IM going to hit THEM#im used to anxiety but i always feel so erratic in public places. when everyone wore masks i was a little better#i still mask most of the time but it doesn't help anymore bc now im like one of the only people that does it#so now instead of blending in AND having my face covered i just stand out more#my face is still covered so it still helps but its like barely a net positive lmao#i want to be able to look around without worrying that someone is looking at me from their window and thinks im a stalker#truly how the hell am i supposed to do that without a dog lol
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just sent riley into the portal for the first time and i feel hysterical
#digi discusses#oxenfree II spoilers#i was not anticipating being able to play out that last part and seeing her and rex running next to eachother. thats my baby boy oh my god#the horse ending up right back where she started. him saying i love you too im actually unwell#i got. the friends with Charlie and violet but not olivia variation also and this is the worst possible ending for them right like. fuck#what olivia says in therapy. jesus h christ#the things i have just heard i cant i cant#i was fully expecting this ending to be my favorite but. i feel. So upset. maybe with friending olivia i will feel different but ow ow ow o#gotta do. jacob next i guess haha! hahaha! hahahahaha#now i understand why it saves in the harbor before the end. reloading the save is truly just checking in on riley in the loop. i am sad#also What Do You Mean 'i dont think hes around anymore' riley what do you mean is he. not home on the day she chose or. idek im scared
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sick of making plans with a specific friend only for her to not reach out abt actually hanging out until the afternoon after i’ve waited all day to hear back from her or for her to just cancel last minute entirely after i’ve again waited all day to hear back from her
#like i genuinely fucking get that sometimes life is exhausting and you’re tired and sometimes you need to take care of urself before hanging#out with people but for it to be so fucking consistent is exhausting for ME#we don’t even fucking make plans that often it’s literally maybe once a fucking month if that#like you’re telling me somehow whenever we have plans that’s when you’re SOOOOOO exhausted ?????? but you left the house 39203 other times#to do shit that takes up way more mental capacity than sitting bat your house smoking weed for a while and catching up?????#i just don’t fucking get it dude i really don’t#if i make plans with someone and the day of i don’t want to anymore i always tell them right fucking away so they don’t spend all day waitin#around and planning their entire day around it just to get fucked over#idk i’m just frustrated and probably need to eat something and i’ll be less angry#i’m just like. upset bc i don’t understand why she only ever seems to cancel on me or only seems to be soooooo exhausted when it’s the day#we planned to hang out like i just think it’s unfair to me and i Have expressed this in general before so it’s like ok cool#thanks for taking my own feelings and time into consideration 🙄🙄😐#like i literally love and adore my friends more than life itself and it just hurts and is shitty when someone doesn’t act the same even tho#they’ve said the opposite idk#i genuinely hope i don’t sound like a dick right now bc i truly really understand when ppl are mentally exhausted or deal with chronic issue#issues* bc fucking SAME HERE I ALSO DEAL WITH ALL RHAT so it’s like idk i just don’t wanna sound like a dick i am just upset i’m not feeling#like i’m loved the same as i love people idk this always happens to me i feel like i just love too much and i over project and then when i#don’t get the same things in return i feel like people actually don’t like me or secretly are tryin to separate from me idk it’s shitty i#hate it so bad i want a normal brain this shitnfucking sucks#my brain is going too hard now tho i need to stop before i spiral for real right here right now on tumblr dot com
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Genuine observation, no sass and no disrespect, but being someone who is chronically OFFline & an active volunteer/activist for over a decade, and seeing what people say is "crucial discourse" online is... Quite the trip, honestly.
#vee vibrates#I understand that some things are more important to others than they are to me but.#I really need people to understand that sometimes you're better off volunteering at a shelter of ANY kind if you want to commit real change.#Online advocacy is crucial but man am I worried as hell for the kids that don't seem to understand that offline is even moreso.#And being disabled + queer myself I know that it can (and often is) a safety and accessibility issue but zoouniverse.org exists.#That website where you solve history and math quizzes to give rice to impovrished families is online.#Just. Anything that puts this aggressive “”advocacy“” to rest. Ego will be the death of us and we don't need anymore of it.#And if anybody reads this and finds themselves getting upset ask yourself this: Why does this upset me? Do I see myself in this?#Because you'd know that I am speaking out of genuine desperation when I say all of this.#I am not any better than any online activist just because I do a lot of work offline.#I am just so fucking tired of seeing people misdirect their rightful frustrations and fall further prey to the elites' divisive desires.#Is it so much to ask of you all to finally be angry at those who truly make our lives miserable? Or are we just going to keep playing cop?#At the end of the day it's your choice. I cannot force you. However you will grow old one day and look back. Remember that.#I for one don't want to have any regrets about any time I wasted on bigots and trolls and people who have already decided on their opinions.#I want to look back and be grateful for the opportunity to help so many people as many helped me in my direst times of need.#I think that's the difference here. A lot of online folk didn't go through the poverty & severe abuse & bigotry I faced since I was born.#I went through hell and came out kinder in the end because I was at the end of the proverbial whip myself at several points before 16.#But trauma doesn't make you compassionate. You choose to be. And I choose to never repeat the cycle.#The day I do is the day I've lost both my mind and my spirit. I will never repeat my family's & abusers' horrific mistakes.#I will be kinder to a world that needs kindness now more than ever. Even if I scream my throat out forever doing so.#I don't need a voice to be heard.#Anyways sorry. I woke up on the desparate side of the bed. Thank you to all who fight the good fight.#Despite everything I've said I have so much more faith and hope now more than ever. We will prevail.#And thank you if you read all of these tags?? Safety love and solidarity to you you're the MVP. ;_; 💜
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one of the best decisions i've ever made was to stop arguing.
i'd always been an arguer. i was defensive about everything and mindlessly contrary. it wasn't all my fault; i was (and still am) talked down to and patronized a lot, and when you live your life that way, you become kind of a raw nerve and dedicate a lot of energy to trying to prove yourself. someone even told me once, "it's just fun messing with you. you get so upset."
at 23, i was working in an environment where about a half dozen middle aged conservative men were always telling me what to do and explaining things to me. i either argued with them when they said heinous things or stewed about it for hours or even days. and so my new year's resolution one year was simply: no arguing.
it felt a little like defeat at first, like i was no longer standing up for what i believed in, even though no matter how right i was or how much proof i had for my claims, no one had ever been swayed by anything i told them. part of that was because they had no respect for me and didn't take me seriously; the other part was the simple truth that arguments are almost never productive. when someone says something and you immediately reply with, "you're wrong and here's why," a wall goes up and nothing can go over it.
i couldn't just let these men talk at me though, so i started asking questions. not leading questions, not with an intention to prove a point or walk them into a corner. i genuinely wanted to understand how they came to shape the opinions they held. i realized that understanding and agreeing are two different things, and just because i seek to understand doesn't mean i condone.
a truly fascinating thing happened: these men walked into corners all by themselves. it turns out nobody had ever actually tasked them with speaking their opinions aloud to a neutral audience. no one had ever been sincerely curious about them and their views. sure, their loved ones probably asked, "how are you doing?" all the time as a show of affection, but that's much different than, "what do you think?"
knowing what i know now, i think that's true of everyone. how many people ask you for your opinion and listen to what you have to say without speaking their opinion back to you? without judging you? how many people actively and intentionally try to understand you?
it's been over ten years since my resolution and i think i can count the arguments i've gotten into on one hand. one finger, even. it's amazing what happens when someone tries to rile you up, pick a fight with you, and your only response is, "can you elaborate on that?"
you can work someone into a very open and vulnerable state when you ask questions. they eventually run out of their usual talking points and move into the personal. when i do this, it's not like therapy; i'm not trying to help anyone. and it's not like teaching; i'm not trying to educate anyone. i just want to understand how people reach the conclusions they've come to. even after all these years of asking questions and not arguing, it still amazes me how few people in this world feel understood, and how easy it is to get them to open up when you say, "i want to know what you think."
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hold on one second what is the age gap between these two what
#is j.aime 16 and he is 13??? what#that is odd you see how that is odd right#i thought they were both 15 what#brooooo#orbit reacts#doesnt he have a canon boyf who is older than him as well???? by two years?????#why do they do this to him bro. me personally i would not get with a 17 year old??#thats like fresh out of middle school with nearing college like#why do they do him like this what in the world#i am so upset i thought they were so cute and now idk how to feel#cuz thats like. 15 and 18#thats the age different between me and my brother like... thats so weird#and have you met a 13 year old? they are NOT like that??#truly do not know how to feel but it is. unfortunate#torn between wanting to still enjoy it and doing the probably morally correct thing and Not#i refuse to be a p.roshipper man#thats one way to get me back on my wip ig. kill all interest in the distraction#lets just. forget abt this ig
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At Fault | MV1
pairing: Max Verstappen x reader
summary: Max invites his ex to a gp and upsets you. Soft and stubborn Max, but he’s a cutie. A mix between angst and fluff, but mostly fluff towards the end. Lots of reader just ranting. Plus a little cameo from the Ferrari WAGs <3.
warnings: Does Kelly count as a warning? Kinda of toxic, I’m not really sure? But who actually likes seeing their boyfriend’s ex girlfriend??
author’s note: Italics are flashbacks! This turned out longer than expected, but I hope you guys like it! It’s also been a while since I’ve written fics, so it there are any errors pls ignore them😭
The tension in the car was thick. So thick, Max believed he could cut it with a knife.
Your arms were crossed as you stared out the window while Max glanced at you wearily every other second. Thankfully, there were only three of you in the car. You and Max in the backseat, and the driver in front being separated by a divider. Though, Max was sure the driver was able to hear the current disagreement between you and him.
Max fidgeted with the lanyard of his paddock pass and stared at the side of your face. He knew he had upset you and honestly you had every right to be. You were biting the inside of your cheek in frustration trying to keep your emotions at bay. As much as you wanted to argue with Max about how you disagreed with his actions, he was due to race in a couple of hours and you didn’t want to add any more stress on his shoulders.
But Max wanted to talk about this now while you were both alone.
“Schatje, are you really mad?” Max asked quietly, leaning closer to you and trying to get you to face him. He truly didn’t mean to dampen your mood before the race. Most importantly, he didn’t like that he was the reason for you being upset. Your brows furrowed ever so slightly and a faint pout was on your lips, both indications that you were in fact not happy with him.
“Yes, Max, I am mad.” You answered, your voice trembling a bit. You had finally turned away from the window and were looking at him. Max felt a pang of guilt in his heart once he saw the look in your eyes. They weren’t glaring at him with the heat of anger, but they were soft and glossy, you were hurt—he hurt you.
Max cautiously reached out for your hand and tangled your fingers together, though your hand felt limp, like you didn’t want to hold his hand at all.
“I told you the truth.” Max said, leaning his head down trying to catch your eyes again. You took in a deep breath before turning to fully face him.
“Yes Max, you did and I absolutely appreciate it. I really do.” You began, grasping his hand between yours. “But that doesn’t make up for that fact that you’ve had this planned out for nearly a month and only told me thirty minutes ago!” You argued.
Thirty minutes ago, before your ride to the paddock can pick you guys up, Max had revealed that his ex-girlfriend, Kelly, and her daughter would be at the garage to watch the race. When you asked how they got passes to the garage, he shared that he had flown them out and provided them with passes for the weekend.
“So she’s been here all weekend?” You questioned him, arms crossed and a brow raised at him. The Italian heat felt even ten times worse as you grew frustrated with your boyfriend.
“Yeah, but they were at the Paddock Club, they’re going to watch the race from the garage though.” Max shrugged, as if it were not a big deal. He adjusted the bag on his shoulder and grasped your hand in his free one.
You couldn’t help the feeling of insecurity seeping into your bones. Kelly was rich and gorgeous, she was a model, and you weren’t. You had a normal job that offered you stability, paid you good money, and you knew how to clean up nice. However, you were no where near her level of anything or any of the other WAGs at that.
“You’ve known this whole time that she was here?” You asked quietly, your brows furrowed at him. You hated that you kept asking him questions, it was like you were interrogating him.
Max looked down at you, confusion etched on his face, “I did, schatje. I flew them out and got them some paddock passes.” You acted before you could speak, and shook your head at him, rolling your eyes in annoyance. Your boyfriend was one of the sweetest people you’ve ever met, however, many people took that as a sign to take advantage of him. While it took him longer to realize it, you noticed it instantly.
“I don’t understand why you’re so upset though, I told you the truth, it’s not like I’m doing anything with her.” Max defended himself, his hands wildly moving around. “She reached out telling me that P missed me and wanted to come to a race, it’s not for her, it’s for Penelope.”
“I understand that Max and as harsh as this sounds, Penelope isn’t your responsibility. I get that you helped raise her, but you guys broke up, you don’t need to provide for her anymore.” You threw a hand in the air, emphasizing your point. “Kelly’s fully capable of flying herself out and buying tickets to a race weekend.”
“I was just being nice.” Max raised his voice, also growing frustrated with the situation.
“And she’s still using you!” You fumed, tears welled in the corner of your eyes. “How many times does she have to use you for you to realize it? You guys broke up and she still manages to get what she wants out of you! Do you know how embarrassing it is to walk in and see her there?” You tried to reason with him. While many of his fans didn’t approve of Kelly, you knew Twitter would have a field day clowning you when they find out Kelly was present in the garage. Social media was never always a nice place and you’ve learned to ignore it, but that didn’t mean it stopped the hate from happening.
Max ran a hand through his hair and sighed.
“This is ridiculous.” He muttered under his breath, you scoffed and leaned back into your seat, staring at the window again.
“Do you not trust me?” Max asked forcibly, staring at the side of your head again. You let out a defeated sigh and turn your head to look at him, “I do trust you, Max.”
Max’s shoulders slouched as he leaned on the seat sideways, his body fully turned to you.
“Then why do you not trust me with this?” He pushed, nudging your knee with his, trying to get an answer out of you. He knew he was at fault and he just wanted to make it right.
“I don’t trust her.” You simply answered, feeling done with the conversation. The car turned, nearing the entrance of the paddock. You sniffled as you untucked your hair from behind your ears, removing your sunglasses from the top of your head.
“You don’t have to worry about her, schatje. I want you not her, there’s a reason why we broke up.” Max reassured, trying to ease the tension between the two of you.
The car came to a halt, a knock came from the driver, indicating that you guys arrived at the paddock. Before you could leave, you turned to Max and said, “Yet, she’s still here.”
ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹
Entering the paddock was always a frenzy. The moment you stepped out the car, fans were quick to recognize you, knowing that one of their favorite drivers were right behind you. You slid your sunglasses on and smoothed out the white maxi dress you wore. Max followed in suit and flashed a smile at the fans.
Shouldering his bag, he held his hand out to you, “I know you’re upset, but can I please hold your hand?”
You nodded and entangled your fingers with his. The two of you began your walk into the paddock hand in hand, as fans screamed and waved at Max. He gave your hand a squeeze before guiding you guys to some of the barricades and signing a few things for the fans.
After you guys scanned your passes, Max led you guys to the Red Bull garage. However, you came to a halt. Max was quick to look back at you, “You okay?”
“Yeah—I’m gonna meet up with Alex and Rebecca, if that’s okay? We were planning on seeing each other before the race.” You tell him. A small pout formed on Max’s lips, “Oh, okay, I’ll drop you off.” He offered, still holding your hand.
You and the girls decided to meet up at the Paddock Club. In front of the entrance, Max stood in front of you.
“You’ll come to the garage to watch, right? I need you there.” He asked quietly, so that people passing by cannot hear your conversation.
You nodded, “Yeah, I’ll be there before you’re in the car.”
Max mirrored your actions, “Okay, I love you.” He pulled you in by the waist and pressed a kiss onto your forehead. You squeezed his waist in response, “I love you too.”
Max watched as you entered the building, huffing to himself, while he watched you walk further and further into the building.
Placing your sunglasses above your head, you scan the room until you see one of the girls, Alex was the first to spot you, standing in her spot and waving at you to come over.
“Coucou mon amour!” She greeted you, (Hello, my love!) immediately wrapping you in a hug. You squeal as she squeezed you, “Helloo!” You giggled. You go to greet Rebecca, who is immediately giving you a knowing look. Being the older one amongst the three of you, she was often looked up to as the older sister.
She wrapped an arm around you and smoothed your back, “What’s wrong?” She asked while you got situated in the chair beside her.
You shook your head, “It’s just Max.”
Rebecca grabbed the bottle of champagne on the table and poured some into a flute glass. She offered you the glass, “Thank you, I needed this.”
She smiled watching you take a long sip from the glass, “Oh honey, I know.”
Alex pouted and nudged your foot with hers, “What happened with Max?”
“He invited Kelly to watch the race at the garage today.” You bluntly shared, slumping yourself in your chair.
Rebecca’s eyes widened, “Shut up.”
You raised a brow at her, “Oh, I didn’t even get to the kicker yet.”
Alex’s brows raised, “Which is?”
“He flew her out—he fucking flew her out and gave her tickets for the entire weekend.” You revealed through gritted teeth, still being aware of your surroundings. Rebecca cursed under her breath as Alex took your glass and refilled it with champagne.
Grabbing the glass, you continued, “She’s literally been here all weekend and he only told me this morning. I just don’t get it, they broke up, I don’t know why he’s still so concerned about her.” You took another long sip of champagne,
“What was the reason why?” Rebecca asked you.
“Apparently Penelope missed him—which I can believe, but did he really have to do all the providing when she can financially support herself? I get that he was trying to be nice, but still.” You grunt, fiddling with your glass.
Alex comfortingly rubbed your arm, “No, I get it, if Charles did the same thing with his ex, I’d also be upset.”
“I literally told him that she’s using him once again.” You threw your hands up. “If he wants her to be there so much, he might as well just get back with her. Like—am I crazy for losing my mind at the fact they were in contact with each other, even if it wasn’t in a romantic sense?”
Rebecca shook her head, “No, your feelings are absolutely valid. You’re just concerned and it obviously caught you off guard. He shouldn’t have been texting his ex in the first place.”
You groaned and held your head in your hands, “I hate feeling like this, it makes me question if he actually wants to be with me or not.”
Rebecca held her finger up, “I’m gonna stop you right there.” Placing her hand on your shoulder she says, “Max might be acting very stupid right now, but one thing I know for sure is that Max loves you and absolutely adores you. Without a doubt.”
Alex nodded, agreeing with Rebecca, “Like have you seen the way he looks at you? He literally worships the ground you walk on. I’m sure he’s beating himself up right now for doing what he did.”
“He loves you, (y/n), everyone who’s seen you guys together knows it. I don’t think he’d put himself in this kind of position on purpose, you’ve got that man wrapped around your finger, babe.” Rebecca reassured you, throwing her arm around your shoulder and pulling you into another hug.
“Come on cheer up, who cares if she’s in the garage today? You’re the one he’s gonna be going home with tonight.” You laughed shaking your head at her teasing.
“Hey! Tonight and every single night!” Alex pointed out raising her glass at you.
ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹
Two hours. It’s been two hours since Max has dropped you off at the Paddock Club and he still hasn’t heard back from you. He’s been distracted all day. During a meeting with Christian and some of the engineers, he couldn’t help but constantly check for a text from you, earning himself a scolding from the team principal. Checo and a couple of people from the team tried talking to him, but he wasn’t paying attention. His eyes wandered wondering when you would enter the garage.
He did in fact see Kelly and P—obviously he was expecting to see them since he invited them, but all he felt while talking to them was guilt. Guilty because he remembered the look of hurt and betrayal in your eyes and how he was the reason behind it. He hated it, he felt grimy, and dirty for going behind your back and texting Kelly. Not even ten minutes into catching up with the mother and daughter, Max realized that you were in fact correct. Kelly had used him again, instantly making advances on him despite knowing he was happily taken. But for the sake of P, Max made sure to be friendly though kept his distance to not feed into her mother’s schemes.
It was nearing lights out and you were still not in the garage. He had gone through his warm ups with Bradley, had his fireproofs and suit on, and even laced up his shoes. Still, no sight of you whatsoever in the garage. He was beginning to worry about you, sending you a couple of messages to your phone.
The car was due to be on the grid and there was about half an hour left till lights out. Max looked around the bustling garage, checking to see if you had snuck in without him seeing, though to no avail, you still weren’t there.
“Max…Max…Max?” GP tried to get Max’s attention. Snapping a finger in front of the driver’s face, Max’s eyes flickered over to his race engineer.
“What do you want now?” Max groaned, throwing his head back. To onlookers, it looked like a typical interaction between Max and GP. Though, GP felt like he was babysitting a child whose attention span couldn’t focus on one thing for more than a few seconds.
“Mate, I’ve been talking to you for the past five minutes.” GP claimed. Choosing to ignore the information he had just “briefed” Max on, he decided to be a friend.
“Where’s your head at?” GP asked Max. The Dutch man sighed, leaning against one of the storage units in the garage.
“I messed up with (y/n). I did something and it was my fault, I know it was. But she’s not happy with me at the moment and I just want to make it right.” Max summarized, not sharing any more details to protect the privacy of your relationship.
GP motioned towards Kelly who was talking to one of the other influencers in the garage, “Does it have to deal with that?”
“Unfortunately.” Max mumbled, crossing his arms and choosing to stare at the floor.
GP took a minute to stare at his driver. Max was deflated, he wasn’t as hyped for the race or over explaining some random fact about god knows what. Instead, Max kept to himself, greeting people when he had to and communicating with his team prior to the race. Other than that, Max chose to stare at his phone and look longingly outside the garage.
“Listen, I don’t know what exactly went down. But I’ve seen you with (y/n) and she clearly makes you happy, we’ve all see how lively you are with her around. You’ve got a lot of groveling to do bud, but it’ll be worth it.” GP advised, clapping Max on the back to wake him up.
“She’ll always be worth it.” Max quietly said, taking another glimpse at his phone. Only to be met with his wallpaper of you and him, with no notifications.
ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹
Christian Horner stared at his monitor at the pit wall watching as drivers and their teams gathered on the grid. He saw Checo by his car, taking a few sips of water before the race. When the camera panned to Max’s Red Bull, the driver was no where to be seen. Sparing him a second of wondering where his driver was, the camera cut to the garage where Max stood, race suit at his waist, looking no where near ready to participate in the race.
“Why is Max not in the car?” He turned to GP, stress evident on his face. GP turned in his seat and looked back into the garage to see Max pacing. Cursing under his breath, he excused himself from Christian and rushed to Max.
“Max, the race is literally about to start!”
Max stops his pacing and places his hands at his hips, “I need my girlfriend.”
“What?” Bradley and GP both stuttered out. Max deadpanned at the two men in front of him.
“(Y/n), I need to see her before the race.” Max demanded. Bradley pinched the bridge of his nose, “Max, she’ll be here after the race, you’ll be fine.” He pushed the balaclava towards Max’s chest, who simply let the mask fall at his feet.
GP sighed at Max, before calling one of the Red Bull employees.
“Please send out a search for (y/n), Max is refusing to get in the car.” He whispered to the intern. The girl looked at him confusingly but nodded and set out the garage.
ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹
You rushed as best as you could in kitten heels towards the Red Bull garage. You were supposed to be at the garage at least half an hour ago. You and the girls got caught up catching up with each other’s lives that none of you realized it was getting close to lights out. It truly was a funny sight, the three of you rushing out of the Paddock Club and running through the paddock like a bunch of maniacs.
“(Y/n)!” You heard someone yell. You stopped in your steps and looked around, only to see a girl dressed in Red Bull uniform. You recognized her, you believed her name was Nicole and was an intern for the team this season.
“Hey! Is Max on the grid already?” You approached her, a little sad that you missed seeing him before the race.
“No, he’s actually waiting for you. They’re sending out a search for you because he’s refusing to get in the car.” Nicole explained, placing a gentle hand on your back and guiding you through the crowd of fans and towards the garage.
ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹
GP released a sigh of relief once he saw you enter the garage. He shoved Max’s shoulder to avert his attention to you.
“What—oh,” Max began, only to stop himself and rush towards you. You met him half way, placing a hand on his elbow.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t meant to stay there for too long.” You quickly apologized. Max shook his head, “I don’t care, I’m just happy you’re here.”
Your brows furrowed at him, “Why are you here? Why aren’t you in the car yet?”
Max placed both his hands on your waist with a faint blush on his cheeks, “I need my goodluck kiss.”
You paused your actions, “You’re kidding me. Max, the race is about to start in five minutes!” You scolded your boyfriend.
“Please, schatje.” He pleaded, leaning closer towards you. Other team members and guests watched the both of you, the scene in front of them peaking their interests.
You gazed up at his stormy eyes, giving in because you knew he was stubborn and wouldn’t stop until he got his way. Plus, the team would hate you if you lowered their chances of scoring points this weekend.
“Just because I kiss you doesn’t mean I’m not mad at you anymore.” You clarified quietly. His forehead nodded against yours, “I know schatje. I promise to make it up to you, I really do.”
A small smile forms on your lips, “I know, Maxie.”
Max takes that as his sign to crash his lips onto yours. One of his hands support the back of your neck while the other rests on your lower back. You smile against his lips, pulling back and placing a peck right above the small mole on his upper lip.
“I love you.” You whispered to him.
“I love you too.” He whispered back. Before you can fully pull away from him he quickly adds, “I’m serious about my promise.”
“I know, baby.” You squeeze him comfortingly. “Now get out there and win the race. Stay safe.”
He pressed a kiss to your forehead as both you and GP ushered him towards his gear that’s been waiting to be put on.
ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹
A man of his word, Max won the race. With at least a five second gap between him and Lando, your boy was top step yet once again. As much as he won, the thrill of seeing him win and crossing the finish line never got old. You celebrated every win of his as if it were his first. You’d always be proud of him, whether he got pole or not.
Many of the engineers and members of the team began to rush towards the grid, eager to greet Max once he got out the car.
Looking around, you suddenly make eye contact with Kelly, who seemed to have been sizing you up. You weren’t really sure what look was on her face, but the hints of a snarl were on her lips. With her nose stuck up in the air, you watched as she carried her daughter and began to follow the rest of the team.
“Don’t mind her. You’re the one he wants to see when he gets out that car.” A voice said from beside you. You jumped, coming face to face with Christian. Your eyes widened at your boyfriend’s boss. Prior to the race, he was informed of the search party the entire team had for you to get Max in the car. While he was annoyed earlier, he thought it was rather cute that Max was so fond of you.
“You know, he’s never begged her for a good luck kiss.” Said Christian, a knowing look on his features. “You on the other hand—he can’t seem to function whenever you’re not around.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know he was gonna put that much of a fight earlier today.” You apologized, feeling a bit flustered. “He’s a bit stubborn sometimes.” You added, to which Christian chuckled at.
“Oh, I know. Max and I have worked together for years.” He stated. He glanced out the garage and motioned towards it, “C’mon now, I’m sure he’s already looking for you.”
ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹
You make your way through the crowd of Red Bull members, many of them recognizing you and helping you squeeze through till you were at the very front of the barricade.
Max was already out, helmet in his hand, while his other embraced GP and a couple other engineers. You watched as he high-fived Penelope, barely sparing a glance at her mother. A little burst of pride went off in your stomach, you couldn’t help it.
His blue orbs scanned the crowd of red and blue, looking for you. You yell his name, his eyes immediately finding yours. A smile breaks out on his face as he rushed over to you, dropping his helmet in the process. Despite the barricade between you two, he wraps both his arms tightly around you, lifting you off the ground.
“Max!” You squealed, your arms wrapping around his neck. His large hand found your cheek, slightly pulling you away from his neck so he can connect his lips with yours. Naturally, your lips moulded perfectly against his moving in synch. The team erupted in cheers around you.
“I’m so proud of you!” You tell him once your lips separate.
“I couldn’t have done it without you.” He grins, gently pinching your bottom lip between his pointer finger and thumb.
He couldn’t stay long, being told that he had to get to the podium for the trophy ceremony.
“I’ll see you after the podium, schatje!” He yelled with a wink over his shoulder, causing a blush to form on your cheeks.
ଓ⋆˙⟡₊ ⊹
The ceremony and the media tent took a while, you finally got to see Max an hour later. You were sitting in his driver’s room, when he bursted through the door already looking for you.
You stood up, smiling at him, “Hey.”
He mirrors your smile. Placing the trophy on the couch he opens his arms for you. You walk into the comfort of his hold, burying your head into the crook of his neck and wrapping your arms around his torso.
Finally it was just the two of you.
“I’m sorry.” You said, though it came out muffled against his skin. Max’s hands stopped the circular motions they were rubbing on your back.
“For what?”
You pulled back looking at him, “I overreacted about the whole Kelly thing. I should’ve taken your word for it.”
Max immediately shook his head, disagreeing with you. “No, you were absolutely right about her. I should’ve listened to you from the beginning. The moment I said hi to them she was already trying to come onto me—I avoided her by the way, I just entertained P.”
“I’m also sorry for what I said about P. I was in the wrong for that comment.” You said, a small grimace on your face when you remembered the off hand comment you made about the poor child.
Max chuckled, “Schatje, seriously, it’s okay.”
His calloused hands were rough against the soft skin of your face. He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and cradled your jaw in his hand.
“I may have a soft spot for P, but they’re in my past. You’re my future, (y/n). The future that I only want and see myself in.” Max admitted. Your eyes gleamed at him, “You’re the future I want too, Maxie.”
“Good because you’re not getting rid of me that easily. You’re stuck with me.” He joked, squeezing your cheeks.
“I love you. So much. I know it seemed like I didn’t trust you today, but I want you to know that I do. I fully trust you with my life and I mean it.” You said, your fingers playing with the ends of his hair at the nape of his neck.
Max nodded, “I believe you. I love you too.”
The two of you basked in the silence and comfort of being in each others arms. Max was the first one to break the silence, “You don’t have plans after this right?”
You hummed against his neck, “Besides celebrating your win, nothing. Why?”
“Because I’m taking you out on a date.” Max proudly announced, a goofy smile on his lips.
“Don’t you wanna celebrate with the team?” You asked him. Max shook his head, “Nope, the only person I want to celebrate with tonight is you.”
You giggled at Max’s antics, “Whatever you say, Champ.”
#f1#formula 1#formula one#max verstappen#mv33#mv1#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen angst#max verstappen fanfic
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so i just read like… ALL your gojo stuff.
now imagine… gojo not being able to hold back and wanting to breed you after you both try those aphrodisiac chocolates… ahem…
i am absolutely terrified of getting pregnant yet have the words most insufferable breeding kink, we exist
Contains: fem reader, aphrodisiacs, masturbation, no prep, spanking, rough sex, unprotected sex, breeding kink, multiple orgasms, SOOO much dirty talk, praise, so much cum.., whiped!gojo, established relationship
MDNI
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔
Gojo was talking soooo much shit when you sent him a link to some aphrodisiac chocolates you saw online. He would not stop dismissing that they didn’t actually work; saying none of that shit that advertised any kind of enhancement in sexual arousal ever did.
So of course you had to order the chocolates and really test it for yourselves, making a challenge out of it.
If the chocolates truly had an effect, gojo would do whatever you wanted, and if they didn’t? vice versa. Gojo was game, of course; because he didn’t think anything would happen.
“Bleh- they taste like shit too,” Satoru grimaced, chasing the horrible flavor with a strawberry soda.
“That’s probably because there’s something in them satoru…like the aphrodisiac…,” you shook you head, swallowing the bitter chocolate.
“Orrrr; crazy thought; it’s just some cheap chocolate marketed as aphrodisiacs to make a ton of money off of people like us.” he drawled, throwing his hands up in the air and waving them around when he spoke.
“I really thought you out of all people would find this kind of thing fun satoru.” you said, trying to push his buttons a bit.
“We’ll of course, chocolate and sex? I’m all over that,” he said making you laugh, “but me and suguru tried something like this for fun back in our student days, it was some kind of pill though,” his face twisted in discomfort as he spoke, “just ended up making us super sick tho, yaga got pissed, heh” he laughed, remembering the memory.
“Knowing you two it was probably some cheap boner pill you got in a sketchy bag at the convenience store.. so that might explain it.” you snorted,
He rubbed his big hand over the back of his neck, “yeah, there was like 5 other pills in the bag with it now that I think about it..” he said quietly, making you hunch over in a laugh.
The two of you went about your evening like normal, watching some comedy movie that was on and cuddling together on the sofa. When it ended you went off to change into something more comfortable as you started off to finished the laundry.
You haven’t felt anything extremely out of the ordinary yet; remembering that the package said it might take long for women to feel the affects; but gojo on the other hand was feeling mildly uncomfortable.
His face and neck were feeling warm, throughout the entire movie his big hand was placed on your upper thigh, like always. What was unusual though, was how his skin tingled when he placed it on yours, palms sweating more than usual; he just chalked it up to all the junk he had been eating throughout the day, probably upsetting his body.
When you moved back into the kitchen and started on the dishes the two of you had created in the sink, Gojo couldn’t help but hyper focus on the fat off your ass peeking out of your night shorts.
The way you moved your hips as some r&b music played quietly from the tv. He watched your muscles and tendons move together when you twisted your body around, watching your ankles cross; one behind the other; getting comfortable from where you stood.
Satoru was feeling hot all over now, a large hand coming down to grope himself over his pants when you bent over to put the dishes into the washer, poking out your clothed mound towards him, the fabric of your shorts squeezing your curves just right.
His jaw dropped slightly, breathing heavier as he got off on watching you do such a mundane task like the dishes.
You inserted the pod into the dishwasher, completely oblivious to satoru’s shenanigans as you stood up straight. You noticed when washing your hands that you were starting to feel a warmth washing over your body, and a sort of warm coil tightening in your tummy.
The lightbulb went off in your head when you realized it was probably the work of the chocolates. You quickly shut off the water, towel is hand as you whipped your head behind you to tell gojo what was happening to you; and to inform him that you were going to win this challenge.
Your motions were stopped short as you bumped straight into gojos chest, “Oh! Didn’t realize you were-“ Your words getting cut off when gojo grabbed the bottom of your face, bringing your lips to his, and kissing you hungrily.
Gojo used his other had to slide his arm around your body, pressing you hard into him, letting you feel his erection against your tummy.
He pushed his tongue into your mouth, swallowing your words that tried to excape, “Sa-mm- Satoru-“ you got out between kisses. Gojo shoved his knee between your legs, putting delicious pressure on your cunt as he kissed you like it was his last day on earth.
You had to grip his hair and pull his face off of you to speak, this didn’t really phase him as he targeted your neck instead, biting and sucking on the skin there, “Fuck- s-satoru slow down-“ you moaned when he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot.
“Cant, need you-“ he spoke in between his rushed love bites on your neck, moving his big hands to hold your hips as he made you rock your cunt back and forth along this thigh.
Your head was spinning a mild a minute, still trying to wrap your head around the current situation. You expected this to happen; being on the side of ‘pro aphrodisiacs and all; you just didn’t expect it to happen so soon, and for it to have such a strong effect on someone like Satoru.
“S-shit- those chocolates have you m-more worked up than me,” you tried to laugh, voice cut short by a moan when his knee nudged your clit at a particularly mouthwatering angle.
“Need to be inside you,” he ignored you, groaning against your pulse point, hot breath tickling your neck when he spoke.
Gojo was breathing so heavily, his cock feeling like it was about to rip a hole in his pants at how hard he was. “Take em off, now-“ he whimpered, referring to your bottoms as he started pulling them down your legs, panties following suit.
You helped him, gripping his hair and keeping his lips pressed against your neck while you kicked off your shorts off from around your ankles . His hands dropped down to remove his own sweats, too impatient to fully take them off as he pulled them down just enough for his cock to spring out, jerking himself off with one hand rapidly between you; hand holding your hip with his other.
“Let me put it in, please, need to be inside you now-“ he groaned, finally pulling back from your neck; and he looked absolutely wrecked.
This whole situation was giving you whiplash, but you felt bad for him. Satoru’s hands were shaking, face flushed completely crimson, and he was sweating and panting like he just ran a marathon.
He continued stroking his cock, eyes flirting between your pussy and your pretty lips while he waited for them to move, voicing your consent.
His cock was dripping so much pre it looked like he already came. Hard cock still dripping steadily onto his hand and fingers, making his strokes emit loud ‘plp’ sounds into the air.
“Yes, please, give it to me toru,” you spoke, making him let out a moan of satisfaction. You wrapped your arms around his neck when he lifted you suddenly, burring your hands in his hair and face in his neck as he slid his dick into you with zero prep, all at once.
You were greatful the aphrodisiac was in affect, making you so much wetter than normal, and in turn, making the stretch a whole less painful then it would’ve been without it.
You whined at how his massive clock split you in half effortlessly, “Sorry baby- m’ sorry-“ he apologized with a groan against your bruised neck; whatever consciousness he still had left being aware that that might’ve hurt you.
“Shit it’s o-okay toru, just give it to me- fuck-“ You tipped your head back, jaw dropping and releasing a loud whine, giving him more access to mark up your neck while he fucked into you like a mad man; legs dangling over his arms as he held you in his strong grasp, hoisting you up and down on his cock like you weighed nothing to him.
“Holy fuckkk” he whined, vibrations going through your skin, “Need to fill you up, need to fuck you full of my cum s-shit-“ Gojo was working himself up with his words, already on the brink of his orgasm only a couple thrusts in.
He was truly using you like a cocksleve as he fucked into you at an inhumane pace, heavy balls slapping against your ass, strings of your combined wetness connecting to your ass each time he thrusted inside.
He sucked harder against your skin as he felt his first high rapidly approach him. His eyes repeatedly rolling back in his skull at the rhythmic pulsing of your pussy around him.
“Shitshitshit- gonna c-cum, need you to take it all f’me” his deep voice reverberated through you, all you could do is cry and moan our strings of his name and “yesyesyes” while he fucked his first load of the night into you.
“T-take it f-fucking take it yessss” Gojo felt like he was on cloud nine, he had never felt anything like this before. Of course he loved cumming inside you when you had sex but this was different. Every neuron in his brain was telling him to fuck load after load into you; to get you pregnant.
Gojo didn’t actually want kids right now, and you were on the pill so the possibility of him actually knocking you up was low- but not if his aphrodisiac brain had anything to say about it; he would make sure to fucking try.
Ignoring the overstimulation he felt as he humped his cum into you with heavy thrusts, quickly picking up his speed again when he finished spurting the warm ropes of cum into you, making you squeal at his quick recovery.
“Pussy feels so fucking good, so fucking wet sh-itttt” he groaned, dick twitching and abs clenching as he fucked himself through the aftershocks of his orgasm, sending him straight twords another one.
“T-toru o-oh my god-“ you wimpered, body flopping around limply at the intense pleasure. His cock was drilling straight into your sweet spot and making you dizzy. You tried not to pass out as he manhandled your body, gripping you roughly and marking up your skin everywhere his insatiable lips could reach.
“Gonna knock you up baby- g-gunna give you my babies- get you fucking pregnant, yeah? you want that?” you cut off his filthy mouth by using the grip you had on his head to press his mouth against yours.
“Yesyesyes, give me your babies toru- gonna make you a daddy-“ he groaned into your mouth at your mutual need for him to fill you up.
Gojo felt drunk hearing the nickname bounce around inside his head. Gojo never thought he had a daddy kink, but in this scenario? The nickname had him feeling like he was about to come again already.
By this point, the aphrodisiac was affecting you just as much as it was him, everywhere his body touched yours felt like your skin was on fire. You tried not to lose your sanity as he was pushing your towards your first orgasm without so much as even grazing your clit.
He set you down on the ground and in one swift movement spun you around so you were facing the counter. Satoru used his massive had to grab hold of his cock, slipping it back into your drenched walls.
You both groaned in unison at the sensation. Gojo gave you both a couple seconds to relish in the feeling, pressing his balls hard against your ass before he picked up his same ruthless pace as before.
“Good fucking girl- gonna look so fucking pretty with ur belly all round with my baby shiiit” he groaned when he felt your cunt clench around him at the idea.
He brought his massive palm down feeling your cunt squeeze him, leaving a heavy spank against your ass and gripping the fat between his fingers.
“Pussy tryna fuckin’ milk me down here” he laughed, biting his lip when he watched your hand come down to rub your clit in quick circles, “Yeaahhh fucking touch your pussy for me baby, make urself cum all over my dick while i fill you up.” he instructed, clenching his jaw.
“Shit- g-give it to me daddy- cum inside me-” you mindlessly babbled, there you go again with that fucking nickname that had his balls tightening.
You feet the coil wind itself up quicker than normal at your enhanced sexual arousal from the chocolate and the now added stimulation of touching your neglected clit.
“Come with me baby, gotta feel you cum around me- please” he begged, leaving another loud slap against your ass before pulling you back on his dick roughly by your hips.
“S -shit it’s coming it’s coming i’m- fuckfuck- ngghhh” your warned, voice cutting out as you started to come around his girth while he fucked you through it.
“yeeeeeess baby- fuuuuck- milk my fucking cock fuck-“ he watched intently as your little hole clenched around him, his first load spurting out around his cock with the pressure of your orgasm, making the white ring around the base of his dick get even messier.
“I’m coming again baby- take it for me- need you to take it all, gotta make sure it t-takes” he whined, getting you pregnant still on the forfront of his brain.
Your legs would’ve collapsed on the floor if he wasn’t holding up a majority of your weight by your hips. Your nails slid against the marble as his cock rammed against your cervix, making you dizzy, broken moans getting forced out of your mouth at the feeling of getting repeatedly impaled on his cock.
You tried to gain a little bit of brainpower back to help gojo through his orgasm just like he did for you, “y-e-sss toru’ cum inside me please- i’ll take it all- be a good girl for you-“ your voice squeaked out, words getting louder at the end with how rough his thrusts were,
He leaned over your back, pressing his sweaty chest onto you while he wrapped you in a tight bear hug, not ceasing his ruthless hips, “Need you t-to kiss me baby- go-nna be instense” he whimpered against your shoulder, waiting for you to turn your head twords him to give him access to your mouth.
When you did he wasted no time in pressing his lips to yours. The two of you swallowed each others moans as his pitch got higher and higher; his tight grip was sure to leave dark bruises on your body as he held onto you for dear life at his impending orgasm.
When the coil finally snapped, he shook violently against you, hips stilling against your ass, pressing his hips as deep as he could into you while hot ropes of cum filled you up even more than his last load, making more cum spill out around him at how full you already were.
His breath was hitching into your mouth, lips doing their best to kiss you back as his jaw kept falling open as the waves of his high washed over him.
He whined and dropped his head against your shoulder when he started to come down. Gojo panted heavily against your skin, twitching in the aftershocks of his high.
“D-don’t move please” he requested, fucking his softening cock into you a couple more times to make sure his cum was as deep inside you as it could go.
“Fuck toru- feel so full right now..” you wined into the marble, wincing in overstimulation at his final few weak thrusts.
After a couple seconds he finally pulled out his cock, gulping hard as he watched his cum start to dribble out of you; making you whine at the slightly uncomfortable feeling.
He used a couple fingers to spread your pussy lips; admiring his work for a second before he used to fingers to scoop his cum back up, stuffing his thick digits back inside of you, “Gotta get that plug of yours to keep it all in,” he said, biting his lip at how soft you felt around his fingers.
“Or you could let me cockwarm you,” you giggled, turning your head back to look at him while he looked enthralled with your cunt.
“God I love you, smartest fucking girl I know.” he praised.
You fell into a fit of giggles when he scooped you up in his arms, peppering kisses onto your face while he headed twords your shared bedroom.
You wrapped your legs tightly around his waist while he walked, keeping them snug even when he dropped the two of you on the mattress together. Gojo’s large frame laying on top of you as he reached his hand down between you to slide his semi-hard cock back into your oversensitive walls, making you hiss at the feeling, “Sorry baby- almost in,” he promised, kissing your cheeks while he fully bottomed out.
He rolled his eyes at how warm and soft you felt around his dick, sucking soft hickeys into the crook of your neck while you pet his damp hair.
“I’ll clean you up in a second my love, promise, you just feel too good right now.” he let out a short laugh against you.
“‘S okay toru, makes me feel good too.” you tipped your head forward and pressed kisses onto the top of his scalp.
“We gotta be careful with those chocolates,” he laughed, “Might acctually knock you up one day if we keep eatin those,”
“That doesn’t sound half bad,” you confessed, squeezing your legs harder around his hips.
“Dangerous words to say right now pretty girl,” he warned, smirking into your skin,
“Oh right, guess you won the bet,” he remembered, “Whacha want ur big strong boyfriend to do for you?” he asked teasingly,
“Cum inside me again, right now,” you requested after a beat, emphasizing your need by squeezing your pussy walls around him, making him inhale a sharp breath between his teeth.
“Fuck… you serious?” he smirked, lifting his head to look at you.
“Don’t keep me waiting, give me my prize toru,” you pouted your bottom lip at him, making his brain short circuit as he felt his cock twitch back to life.
You ended up taking a plan B the next morning… just in case…
#gorsh my breeding k1nk showed w this one#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#gojo x reader#gojo satoru#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x geto#jjk gojo#gojo saturo#gojou satoru x reader#gojou x reader#jujutsu gojo#gojo x you#gojo fluff#gojo x y/n#gojo satoru fic#jjk satoru#satosugu#jujutsu kaisen satoru#satoru smut#gojou satoru smut#satoru x suguru#jujutsu satoru#gojou satoru x you#satorugojo
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Too heavy for me? Never
LADS men reaction to you only somewhat joking about being too heavy for them
Sylus -
He'll raise an eyebrow at you, staring down at you as you realize the joke fell flat. You try to back peddle, not wanting to cause any confrontation that never helps you feel better about your body anyway, but he simply holds up a hand to stop you with a shake of his head.
"I don't want to hear it, sweetie. I already know the nonsense you're going to say. How about you just come with me right now to the gym instead?"
You don't know how to tell him that saying that truly shattered your heart into a million pieces, so you just follow him in silence instead. You didn't think he would insult you so casually, and you were now trying to brace yourself for the inadequate feelings and self-loathing you were about to experience by having to train at the gym with him.
But... he didn't ask you to do a workout. He didn't tell you to get on a piece of equipment or to lie down on a mat for a physical exercise.
He told you to sit on a small bench against the wall while he went to the free weights close by.
Wordlessly, he loads weights- two- no, three times your weight onto the bar, before moving to lift it. Once. Twice. Again, and again and again-
His eyes flicker over to you at some point, and instead of making any remark or reference to the emotions clear across your face, he flashes you a slight smirk, just like he always does.
"Have I made myself clear, sweetie?"
Zayne -
Zayne will definitely think you're just pretending to be stupid at first.
He will look down at you with his brows furrowed and a small smile creeping on his lips, thinking it's all a joke.
"I lift myself during my workouts fairly easily, and I am capable of lifting a lot more. Quite funny, though I wouldn't make this form of humor a habit. It isn't particularly good for your mental health."
Then he realizes you're actually being serious in what you're saying.
He's upset, to put it lightly, but hes trying not to let it show. Favoring a small frown across his usually firm expression as he studies your face. Your heart will jolt just a little bit when you process just how sad his eyes look though... obviously he's hurt that you would even think something like that about yourself, much less come to believe it as true.
"Allowing a part of your brain to lie to you is not healthy if you don't push back with the truth. And the truth here, is that you are nowhere near too heavy for me to lift or carrying, even for prolonged periods of time. To demonstrate-"
And like it's nothing, he's picking you up and carrying you. His destination is not important, and the protests spewing from your lips fall on deaf ears as you try to gentle squirm out of his grasp. He'll continue to explain why your viewpoint is flawed, methodically and with logic, and in a way that you find yourself unable to argue back.
He doesn't want you to.
He knows you're wrong, and he will stop at nothing to prove it.
Xavier -
He's more surprised at the statement than anything. At first, he thinks you're making a jab at his strength, and wonders if he slipped up in front of one too many Wanderers and now needs to prove himself just to get you to stop teasing him for being 'weak'.
Once he (quickly) realizes that you're talking about yourself, jabbing at your own body and state, rather than at him, it's like a spark igniting in him.
"What? What would ever make you think that? No- that's not right. That's not right at all."
He's immediately going to try and grab you to lift you up, he doesn't care where you both are or what you're doing. Even if you've just woken up in bed and are still relaxing, he's trying to pick you up right then and there.
He stumbles trying to lift you, falling backward onto the pile of blankets and plushies that has taken over his bed. He feels awful, worried that you'll take his misstep as him falling over from your weight, immediately apologizing and trying to sit up and pick you up again before falling forward from the plush surface he's trying to rise on giving out too much beneath him.
You're both a giggling mess by then, and it's obvious to you that he's going to keep trying to prove it to you, just... a bit clumsily so. Several more attempts will be made as the evening goes on, and pretty soon he's showing you just how easily it is for him to lift you up- especially if he keeps doing it over and over and over again.
And he will continue to do it over and over and over again, even after today. As many times as it takes.
Rafayel -
You definitely made a mistake saying anything self-depreciating around him. Especially with how much he likes to prove you wrong in playful situations, this is something similar, but a lot more serious to him.
He'll make fun of you for anything, as long as you know he's just being lighthearted even if he's grumpy or upset when he fires a quip off at you.
But the second you agree with him, or say something bad about yourself- whether jokingly or dead serious- the gloves are off. He won't accept that from you, and he's already on it to figure out how to turn the opinion you've formed of yourself on it's head and into a more positive outlook.
Lifts you up bridal carry while spinning- quite literally sweeping you off your feet while he whisks you away. You would think you were a princess with how he spins around his studio with you in his arms, with no regard to the paintings or projects around him as he dances with you in his arms. And no matter how hard you protest, he doesn't stop until he feels for himself that he's done enough, giggling the entire time.
"Are you really going to doubt a sea god's strength? Geez, I didn't realize you were such a rude human."
He'll hold you up enough to press his forehead against yours, nuzzling against you with a smile, the slightest sadness playing across his expression.
"Man, I must be pretty lousy that you would ever think something like that about yourself. That must mean I don't think to pick you up enough like you deserve. Don't worry, I'll make it up to you by whisking you away every chance I see you from now on."
#.writey#love and deepspace#lads#lds#x reader#lds sylus#lds zayne#lds xavier#lds rafayel#rafayel x reader#zayne x reader#xavier x reader#sylus x reader
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The Reader gets jealous/upset because Sukuna gets Concubines, with a happy ending though. pleaseeeee
Wish I didn’t care
Tags: true form!Sukuna x fem!Reader, king!Sukuna, royal au (?), angst, hurt/comfort, happy ending i promise
An: Ooo, this was such a good idea. Thank you for requesting it from me!! I hope it’s everything you wanted!!
Sukuna never felt the need to give you a title for being in his life. To him, titles were superficial… There wasn’t a title in the world that could explain or encompass the complexities of his relationship with you.
However, you, coming from the mortal realm, wanted a title. It’s not that you wanted the power that was associated with being the betrothed of the King of Curses. You just wanted to feel.. irreplaceable to him.
So, to make you happy, you were his wife.
Kings rarely ever are allowed the luxury of marrying for love. Most kings marry daughters of other powerful kings to create allies between nations. However, Sukuna didn’t need allies. He didn’t need to marry for power when he had more power than he knew what to even do with.
Everything was simply child’s play for him. He even stopped trying to conquer the mortal realm because it was just too damn easy for him. The “sorcerers” could barely even put up a fight. It was embarrassing.
Life was truly becoming boring for him.
That was, until a female curse was delivered straight to his chamber. He was confused and honestly pissed that Uraume would simply guide this harlot into his chambers without his permission. Only you were granted such luxuries.
He was leisurely splayed in his bed with no cloth to cover himself. He truly appreciated the concept of being completely in his own skin at all times, and he often encouraged you to do the same. Though, he also learned to appreciate your more modest approach. You didn’t have to show any skin to get Sukuna riled up.
“State your purpose.” His voice was low and menacing as he spoke to the woman. He slipped his robes on over his shoulders, tying it in the front so he was no longer exposing himself.
“My father sends his regards. Says that a newly wedded king deserves a ‘fresh’ concubine.” The girl spoke with no humility towards him.
Sukuna’s face twisted in disgust that her dad would even suggest such a thing. He was even more put off that she described herself as ‘fresh’ as if she were a type of vegetable in the garden.
“Your father can kindly go fuck himself. I’m not interested.” He responds coldly, and his large palm grabs onto her shoulder with the intention of throwing her out of his chambers. He knew that if you saw her here, you’d probably be devastated.
“My lord-“
“I am not your anything. You address me as Lord or King, but make no mistake. I am not your lord.” He rudely cuts her off, not letting her think she has any sort of claim to him.
“Okay, Lord Sukuna, when’s the last time she’s fulfilled her wifely duties? I can see she’s not in here tending to you now, right? She’d probably feel grateful that you’re being satisfied around the clock.” The concubine’s voice was like a purr, and she looked up at him with eyes that’d rival a siren’s.
And for a split second, Sukuna almost considers her offer.
“You’ll never believe it, Kuna!” Your happy voice fills the air, and the door swings open to reveal you holding a small flower in your hand. “I got a jasmine to bl-“ Your eyes fall upon to scene in front of you.
Sukuna’s towering over an unfamiliar woman. His hand is touching her neck and shoulder area, while she has her hand leisurely pressed against his bicep.
“Who’s.. this?” You quietly ask, and immediately, Sukuna can feel a strange feeling pour into him. It feels like… guilt? He regrets even momentarily entertaining the idea about this harlot occupying his bed.
“Nobody-“
“Oh my lady, it’s nice to meet you. I apologize. Lord Sukuna and I were just getting aquatinted with each other since we’ll be seeing each other a lot from now on.” The serpent of a female cuts him off, and he immediately realizes just what this is. Whichever king decided to send her is hoping to ruin his marriage. She’s quite literally a snake in his garden, trying to ward his wife away from him.
“I don’t… understand.” The way your voice sounds so small. The small pout upon your lips. The way the flower you were once carrying with such confidence is now sagging in your hand. Fuck. Sukuna felt like a complete imbecile.
“Oh, come on now. You know he has needs that are beyond your abilities. I’ll lay with him when you’re too-“
“Enough.” Sukuna’s voice snaps. His teeth grit together as he practically drags the woman out of his chambers. “Go fuck off for a while. I’ll deal with you later.” The door immediately slams in her face.
After a moment of trying to comprehend what just happened and how it all happened so quickly, Sukuna slowly turns to you. It feels like a gut punch once he sees the tears brimming in your eyes.
“That wasn’t…”
“You took up a concubine?” You ask in a sniffle. Your hands are barely even holding the jasmine that’s you were once so excited to show him. Flowers rarely ever bloom in Sukuna’s desolate kingdom, but with hard work and determination, you had gotten a jasmine to bloom in his kingdom.
“No, she was sent to me. I didn’t seek her out.” He tries to dispel the claims while he slowly approaches you. His chest aches as he watches you take a step back away from him. “Do not cower from me, woman.”
“Was I not good enough? Was I not doing enough for you..? I thought… I thought it was good, b-but I can try harder.” Your voice is so shaky, and you won’t even look him in the eye. What has he done?
“Silence. You will not speak of yourself like that to me.” Sukuna orders, and he takes another step forward. You take another step back with another sniffle. Your tears are streaming down your cheeks.
“Please…” The word sounds foreign on his tongue. He’s never ever pleaded for anything in his life. He could simply take what he wants, but he doesn’t want to hurt his delicate flower. He wants her to seek out comfort in him. “Please don’t cower. It was not like that. She showed up at my door, spoke of lies and filth, and I was trying to throw her out when you walked in.”
“So you didn’t even con..consider taking her on as a concubine?” You ask while you rub the tears away with the back of your hands. Hopefully, this was all just a poorly timed miscommunication.
Sukuna takes a moment before responding. He has two options. He could tell you a white lie that would instantly comfort you, but it would be a lie. Or he could tell you the truth and face the consequences of his actions.
“It was one moment of weakness.” He replies carefully.
He instantly wishes he just lied from the way your face immediately twisted in disappointment and pure hurt. The jasmine falls from your hands, and your footsteps trail away from his chambers, leaving him dumbfounded.
Sukuna is immediately on your trail, unable to let you be. He needs to fix this. His dear wife is upset, and it’s all his fault.
A pair of hands slither up his arm as he walks. He already knows who’s touching him based off the nasty feeling from their contact. “My lord, let her be. She needs to-“
“Dismantle.” The concubine’s body drops to the floor in two, split directly at her waist. He had warned her already about referring to him as her lord. She didn’t deserve to speak of you so carelessly, and she didn’t deserve to live after causing this rift in his marriage.
Sukuna continues on his hunt for you without another hitch, leaving the harlot’s body right where she once stood for one of the servants to clean up.
He searches for you in all your usual spots: the gardens, the kitchen, the library, the rooftop. You’re no where to be found. You don’t want to be found. He starts to wonder around his perimeter. The longer he goes without finding you; the more his heart starts to race.
Did you leave him? Did he lose you for good?
The thought of not having his delicate flower by his side makes his body feel ill. You must’ve placed some sort of binding curse on him, but he didn’t necessarily mind.
He’s close to waging war when he finally sees your small human body tucked underneath a weeping willow on a bed of grass. His body moves on it’s own: running to you. When’s the last time he’s ran like this?
Crouching over you, he can see no visible injuries on your body, but he knows he’s wounded your heart with his foolish actions. How could he ever have a wandering eye when you were the real prize?
His four arms carefully scoop you up and cradle your body as he takes a seat underneath the willow. Your poor cheeks are flushed and tear stained. Your eyes and lips are so puffy. You must’ve tired yourself out from crying.
“I’m sorry, flower.” He whispers softly, even if your eyes are still resting. He pulls your body closer to his chest, and he contemplates when he started becoming so soft for you.
A part of him hates it. That small unconscious voice of his telling him that he shouldn’t concern himself with the feelings of a mere mortal, but the bigger part of him knows that he can’t just ignore you. He cares far too much for you.
“Kuna..?” You murmur as your hands rub your eyes. You’re immediately met with remembering just why you had fallen asleep. “I do not wish to see you right now.”
Sukuna chuckles quietly from your defiant little comment. It reminds him of when you first arrived to his estate. “Then close your eyes.” He simply states as one of his hands start to comb through your hair. “Woman, tell me what to do to fix this.”
You shift your gaze away from him with a small huff. If he wasn’t so much bigger than you, you’d try to wiggle away from him. However, you know it is of no use. “I don’t know, Kuna.” Your words are sharp and still so full of emotion. “Imagine how you’d feel if I told you I contemplated sleeping with someone else… in a moment of weakness.”
The sheer thought of it has Sukuna’s anger burning up like an inferno. You’re his delicate flower. No one would even know how to take care of you like he can. His arms subtly tighten around your frame. “I’d kill every man you gaze at.”
“Well, men can rest easy because I only have eyes for you.” You mutter while rolling your eyes. “I love you so much that the thought of being with someone else repulses me, and it… just really hurts that you don’t feel the same.”
“Flower, I took you for granted. It was a brief moment of contemplation, but I instantly decided against it. I did not desire her in the slightest.” Sukuna tries to explain, and his hand gently brushes against your soft cheek.
“You still don’t deny that you don’t feel the same for me.” You respond quietly, still not giving him the satisfaction of you looking at him.
“You are everything to me. I will not lose sight of what’s important again.”
“Kuna.” You finally look up at him, and you frown slightly. Sukuna secretly adores the little nicknames you have adorned him with, but he’d never admit it.
“What is it, woman?” He asks, titling his head to the side a bit to get a better look at your face. You’re so pretty in his lap like this.
“Do you love me?” You quietly ask, even if you can already hear his voice telling you ‘do not ask questions you don’t want answers to’… because even if he’s the incarnate of evil, Sukuna will not lie. Liars are weak cowards who can’t get jobs done by being upfront. Sukuna isn’t afraid of what the truth is.
Your husband contemplates your question for a moment. He thinks about how disgusting that wannabe concubine was. He thinks about how you preoccupy his mind majority of the time. He thinks about the weird mix of feelings he has felt today in your absence.
“What I feel for you… is probably the closest to love that I’ll ever get.” Sukuna responds, carefully choosing his words. “You, my flower, are the only thing that keeps me grounded to the mortal plains.”
You give him the best smile you can muster despite the disappointment that you feel since he won’t tell you that he loves you. You suppose you have no one to blame other than yourself. Sukuna told you when he married you not to get your hopes up for love, but you still can’t help but crave that sort of affection from him.
“I don’t like seeing you upset, flower.” He speaks tenderly as his thumb brushes against your bottom lip. “If I could, I’d snap my fingers and assure you that I love you whole heartedly. It just not in my genetic code.”
“I know… I’m grateful for your effort at least.” You murmur as you wrap your arms around his neck.
His arms wrap around you, cradling you to his chest. He inhales deeply, savoring your sweet scent that he enjoys so much. “Am I forgiven, woman?”
“Mmm, no.” You smile cheekily in his embrace, and Sukuna chuckles heartily.
“Oh? Is someone going to use this blunder to her advantage?” When you nod in his shoulder, Sukuna lays back against the soft pillowy grass. “That’s my girl. Go on. Make me work for your forgiveness.”
On a completely unrelated note, Sukuna had that harlot’s body mailed back to her father as a ‘thank you’ for sending a whore to his kingdom.
#jjk#jjk fanfic#jujutsu kaisen#fanfic#drabble#jjk suggestive#jjk sukuna#jujutsu sukuna#sukuna x reader#jjk angst#hurt/comfort#sukuna#jjk fic#ryomen sukuna#jjk ryomen#ryomen x reader
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