#i thought they were both 15 what
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hold on one second what is the age gap between these two what
#is j.aime 16 and he is 13??? what#that is odd you see how that is odd right#i thought they were both 15 what#brooooo#orbit reacts#doesnt he have a canon boyf who is older than him as well???? by two years?????#why do they do this to him bro. me personally i would not get with a 17 year old??#thats like fresh out of middle school with nearing college like#why do they do him like this what in the world#i am so upset i thought they were so cute and now idk how to feel#cuz thats like. 15 and 18#thats the age different between me and my brother like... thats so weird#and have you met a 13 year old? they are NOT like that??#truly do not know how to feel but it is. unfortunate#torn between wanting to still enjoy it and doing the probably morally correct thing and Not#i refuse to be a p.roshipper man#thats one way to get me back on my wip ig. kill all interest in the distraction#lets just. forget abt this ig
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Working on a fic about Talia running off to raise Damian on her own and sorta just pulling a Bruce on all the kids Bruce has already Bat-adopted (and some he hasn't) and because it spans years and my brain keeps screaming about trying to figure out how old people are/when things happen I'm making a timeline on World Anvil.
And I'm going all in on it. When peeps where born, when they met, major events & plot points all that.
Which includes Talia meeting Bruce for the first time.
And the thing is that World Anvil will let you tag/categorize the events your adding to the timeline and you have no idea how tempted I am to label "Talia meets Bruce" with:
#talia al ghul#batman#batfic#bruce wayne#like to be clear I think ultimately her meeting Bruce was a good thing (especially in context of this fic)#Talia full on grew up in a fucked up cult led by her dad & Bruce showed her that there were other options#but also#looked it up and#WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU *MEAN* TALIA WAS 15 AND BRUCE WAS 22 WHEN THEY FIRST MET?#like i knew he was older than her by like at least 5 years#but I also thought they met & started the whole back & forth flirting thing when they were both ADULTS#BRUCE WHAT THE FUCK THAT WAS A WHOLE ASS CHILD#actually no bruce isn't the one I should be yelling at#DC WHAT THE FUCK THAT WAS A WHOLE ASS CHILD AND BRUCE WAYNE WOULD FUCKING *NEVER*#anyway Justice for Talia 2k23 (and forever because my god does DC do her so dirty so often)
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Tangentially related to some of the discussion i posted earlier but quiet literally the first RW Art Month i participated I did it completely on whim like, one day before it started. And I mostly did it because I hadn't drawn a ton of rain world and wanted to draw more. Fandom presence was a lot smaller than and I was one of a handful of artists who did the entire thing. Fast forward and I still do Art Month and I've gotten to work with VC directly. But it was quite literally something I decided to do completely on whim that set the ball rolling, and for something a lil more niche and certainly with a lot more dev/fandom art involvement than most. It's really random how and why you might get noticed more than usual, especially with the "toss it into the search and hope it pays out' mechanism of Socmed
#t.extpost#and im hardly the fanciest art month artist out there so it wasnt even about being a jaw droppingly talented artist or whatever#and while artmonth for rw is still given a huge focus its also a much much bigger thing now with a much bigger number of participants#which is cool! its awesome how many people i saw do most if not all of last art month! and VC is really good about not just repping the#most popular artists or fanciest pieces#but theres So Much More there now and while its great for finding artists its also impossible to get Everyone in there you know?#Although they absolutely try#And this is like. one of the most fanartist involved devs ive ever seen in terms of both celebrating the art their fans make and actively#bringing those fans in to contribute#and its /still/ hard to get going just because thats how Posting is#i used to be more of a hk artist which is both a huge fandom and riddled with stunning artists but theres So Many#and niche fandoms are niche so youre more likely to connect with people but less likely to see a ton of engagement regularly -#probably best example i have for that was being briefly fixated on patapon.#Its just messy to try and find the hack that sets you up#just have fun and jump around and make what you like#get a sense of feeling for your style and some people will stick around for that vs. strictly the subject matter#others will look up the thing you switched too and some wont engage#you cant really control it#so have fun and draw that thing you randomly thought about at 2 am that doesnt match your blog#draw for that forgotten rpg you liked when you were 15 or draw for the 70 player max steam game you played for this week#you never really know what will happen#but its not really worth worrying about what will happen either
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at this point I don't even know if tag fragmentation in the general russian holmes space is worth addressing. a few years ago I successfully kept the ancient customs intact because I wrote a post so deranged and pretentious it displeased people into doing what I wanted but nowadays what's the point in making a grand return of being terminally online if yall kinda right
#history: in the ice age the soviet series were exclusively russian sherlock holmes#the 2013 show is about to appear under a surprisingly generic title of Sherlock Holmes that is also russian#the contemporaries can't come up with anything better than naming it the new russian holmes#it is a decade later#soon it will be 11 years of nrh being *new*#and russian sh keeps dying out in favour of soviet sh#tag fragmentation occurs where the historic russian sh name with almost 15 years of tumblr history gets shafted in favour of soviet sh#a relatively new tag nowhere near of the russian sh legacy#as someone who actually scrolled it all the way back to the very beginning and yes to the first posts of circa 2010/2011#you can guess why I felt strongly about it since you are just creating an issue that never was and also making a false impression#of how sparsely populated soviet sh is while all this time it was just a secondary but also straight up unused tag#the same thing having two tags with totally different content bc of tag fragmentation is quite annoying#but it is now the modern age and idk if you can even go that deep into any tag anymore with how the search function doesn't work#and who could be wrong. russian sh Is soviet. nrh Is new. and nrh will never change and mix with the russian sh search forever.#plus what is the issue. russian sh gets one post a week and nrh gets one every half a year. the annoyance exists to me only.#do we assemble a council and grant both shows new unique tags and resolve the mistakes of our ancestors#while erasing 10+ years of history behind their current tags in the process thus basically wiping the fandom clean#or do we just live with it while occasionally shrugging at how this all happened#I thought and fought to keep it the way it was because adding to a search that goes back to 2010 is what it's all about o7#but nowadays truly. everyone else is technically right. what's the point
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You know a pet peeve of mine is wrapping up a box of chocolates and giving it to me like it's a present lol. I'm not even much of a chocolate person nowadays and I just think it's such a cheap present lol. And you don't know me at all if you get it for me
#my brother literally got me and my other brother exactly the same present and card lol#he's such a cheapskate#i mean it was better than most yeara tbf cause at keast we got a £15 amazon voucher#but we both the exact same box of chocolates too 🙄#and i don't even like most of them in that particular selection box#could have at least asked me what chocolate i like ffs 😂#i mean my brother's gf also got me a box of chocolates but they were at least ones i liked!!#and i don't expect much from someone who isn't immediate family#and she also got me a cool new board game#so she did better than my own flesh and blood brother lol#like I don't wanna sound ungrateful here#but his presents are always shit every year and he spends the bare minimum lol#there's not thought gonna into them#and if he doesn't know what to get he can literally just ask me lol
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oh my god. that one "oc" we wrote who had DID that we came up with before our syscovery. that was not an oc. oh my god cody and blake why did you take five years to make yourselves known to us-
#AND WHY DID YOU GET FRONT TRIGGERED BY A RANT REVIEW OF A MOVIE BASED ON A PSEUDO-ROMCOM BOOK???#question not necessarily directed at them but the structure of our system as a whole#we've been doing a lot of discovering of headmates who were FOR SURE around before our proper syscovery#most of whom we. conceptualized as paracosm characters i guess to cope?? and mask without knowing??#which is probably why our paracosm is inseparable from our system they are one and the same#but like. i mean we found the whole valley full of elder scrolls introjects (there were 11 of them. at once)#who at least with Aerina and Serana they both were around when we were 14 at the very least#bc aerina holds a shocking amount of memories of high school that we thought we'd just Lost Forever#like. she actually remembers what our classrooms looked like#we know that the Sides (like. of the sanders variety) that we made for ourselves. like our own Sides#most of them became true headmates but we're not sure about the rest... but they're probably here#Cecil and Cherry (intrusive thoughts and creativity) were some of our very first known members#cecil was the first actually. but we know he wasn't the first to form bc Sheo hiding his presence ANNOUNCED cecil to ruby the host from then#and like. we created our own versions of sides for every one that was in the actual series#but then There Were More. like 6 or 7 who wouldn't ever have been included in the series#and we were like 'we dunno why they're here BUT they're supposed to be OUR sides so of course there's differences!' and then.#and one of those was Aura who was our side that represented autism#we also had Ryker (anger issues) Oakley (obsession/hyperfocus) Aiden (adhd) and one that represented faith (like. spiritual and stuff)#don't remember the faith one's name it was something obscure#and seeing as like. 5 years after our syscovery we actually discovered Analise (our Logic side) in the sys#we probably have All Of Them somewhere#so like. cody and blake were from the first character we ever wrote who had DID#similar to our first trans character. writing it as if im someone on the outside when really we were just an egg carton#we didn't write Much of him but we put much work into making him like. not fulfill bad stereotypes#he was still kind of stereotypical but we were 15 and an egg carton#but like. we haven't thought abt him or his story like. Since Then#so. very odd that they both show up here and right now-#cody was supposed to be the host and blake was the only alter we actually came up with before abandoning that story like most we wrote#there were absolutely going to be more but. we never got to that point in the story#mostly bc something we were co-writing with someone else fell apart so we just started All of our projects over from scratch
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scanlations are so funny
"hi I'm picking up this series!!! btw I'm TLing from thai bc I couldn't find the jp raws, oh and also I don't know thai or japanese ^_^ ok enjoy!!!!!!!!"
#coyo speaks#hdbdjdbsjs#also while scrolling through bl I saw no.6#and like#yeah#but also imagine picking no.6 up knowing nothing except it's tagged BL jdbdjsbsjsk#I can say shit bc that was literally me downloading dmmd when I was 15 gdbdbdjdbdjdldbs#can't*#but also I can say shit bc I know firsthand how funny that is in hindsight#also to whine more about browsing bl manga online#why are all the top rated omegaverse manga about raising a child#I have like... no interest in sappy domestic family stories#not that kids in a story are ALWAYS bad...#I still think about that one manga about the quack doctor and the guy who's nearly dead body he dragged home to use for traditional medicine#and how they were both abandoned and they found a kid who they thought had been abandoned and they took him in#and tried to give him the home and family they'd never had#I can't remember if I yelled about that manga there#here*#I must have#I just clicked it bc it sounded weird#and then found myself emotionally devastated by the intense found family & trauma healing I just sat through hours later#the setup does NOT prepare you for what you're getting into#ugh (pos.)
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bro is inquisitive
#thinking of the possibilities of how it could be worse it's funny how you start to get addicted to thinking like a danmei writer#you are like anddd what if this person was (insert a guy who coughed once in chapter 15) anyways#i managed to not get many spoilers bc i hate it but i have always suspected that shi mei had a thing for cwn firstly bc i once saw a ship#tag and was like ?? well that is not uncommon as people ship shrek with chanyeol (im people) but secondly after that scene where mo ran#pinky interrogated him i was sooo 100% sure of it. but then there was nothing much so i let it go. the one mini spoiler i saw was#the enemy on pinterest who replied to a pic of a character saying it was shi mei/other name (didn't look at it) so it was why i knew#he was classically someone else. but even without that his ass was raising suspicion just for the way how blank he was#and i knew it was intentional so i kept thinking who he could be and my guess was xu shuanglin (rest in pieces poor guy)#bc i thought that both of them had the same spiritual essence or something. also the guy in the motel at the beginning who also had water#essense could only be either of them. but this is not the point bc then i was thinking that shi mei was simultaneously mo nian#bc why would he have the reason to be annoyed with mo ran to that extent. and also bc i knew there was a fire and hua binance has face burn#but mo ran chopped his head off bless his souls and good for him so how else can that be worse#he could also be that child of nangong yan who had his mother die bc of mo ran and mom he would also have a reason to try and compare#himself to mo ran in every way and hate him but why would he need to store nangong blood for mount jiao is he is nangong himself#but that would be great for disgusting points bc he would be mo ran's half brother doing all that ??#im just taking a break from throwing up bc of his ass trying to assault cwn every chance he gets and idk anything yet#so it would be interesting to keep guessing his motives as i do not get it yet but also (procceed to throw up)#also his interactions with corpse taxian ?? god tier. taxian is in the middle of diss battle drops his mic after every sentence#the crowd (me) cheers. moving on but i really enjoy insane plot twists i wish i remembered well what i was thinking while reading tgcf#the widely known thing is that i didn't even consider that fu yao and nan feng were fengqing it's my favorite thing bc i wholeheartedly#believed the little guys just loved their generals way too much#00
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Oof i definitely dont know how to react when someone comes out to me making it a big deal💀💀
#today a friend came out to me as trans#we met this summer and shes from galicia but weve been meeting online with a couple more friends since then#and like her and another girl it was so confusing bc they clearly liked each other but the other girl was a lesbian#and it was like naaah they are just good friends and i was convinced that was it i didnt talk about it with the other girl even tho#we are super close bc i thought it would be rude and also what was the point i dont rlly care who likes who anyways#and today she came out to me and they were like btww were dating and i was like#ª#good for you :)#but idk it was kinda awkward and i didnt know what to say lol#and like it was only me bc im the only other lgbt person in the group and im also pretty close to both of them#and she couldnt say it bc her father was home and she isnt out to him so her gf had to say it#and the gf didnt rlly know how to say it and also like at first i was being so fucking obnoxious#bc like i had absolutely no idea what they were going to tell me and they were both trying to subtly drop hints but it didnt work bc im me#so they had to say it and yeah it was rlly awkward#luckily we had only 15 minutes before the rest of the group joined for our weekly videocall so it wasnt awkward for that long#but still i should rlly work on this lol#rant#mine#life#friends
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i just think it’s funny that raspberry pi seems to plan their releases around that of apple’s
#stream#both cult followings ….#that im apart of ………#idk i’ve always been an apple fanthem i guess#perhaps it’s also due to me growing up poor & seeing it as a status symbol but by the time the 5s or so was released they had started being#subsidized for the poors following the monopoly breakup w at&t so i had an what was it it was either an 8 or 16gb 4s for 99c in#it was 2014/2015 or so i don’t remember i still have that fucking phone the back cracked bc my sexy fatass geometry teacher fucking stepped#on my binder on accident during a test u know when in school u had to put ur bag or binder at the front of class during tests#but i also got an ipod touch in like 2012 i think loved it it was green my mother got it for my brother & i for christmas#& that’s when i hopped on the Dual Phone Train#never grew out of it#i had an 14 & se 1st gen now i’m triple wielding bc i got robbed so ptsd ive got 12 mini 15 ? 16 ? idk i dont use it it just stays home that#the tx phone bc it doesn’t have a sim card slot as american so it’s esim only therefore literally an ipod#& that’s what i use it as - i also have my us whatsapp on there & i use it to call my banks#but that’s like once a month#so#triple wielding w the se#i hate the new ios like ios 18 it’s gotten too complicated#literally loved apple bc of its simplicity idk as if i didn’t get a pi to get into software & webhosting as was my dream as a child#literally in elementary school i wanted to build my own website so bad i literally went to the library & was reading books on how to build a#server then i asked my parents & they were like ‘wow that’s so cool :) we don’t have any money :) that’s why u were at the library :) & know#so much about libraries :) bc they’re free :) bc ur poor :)’ ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLALSASL#MORE PPL NEED TO USE LIBRARIES#blessed to live like down the street from a library#actually blessed to literally be living in a ‘15 minute city’#also accidentally ordered a compute module 4 so :/#i thought i was ordering the module 5 ALSJALKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKSLKSLA#RASPBERRY DROP THE 5S I KNOW U GOT STOCK FUCK U#i’m literally going to make a dual cloud hosting server & also a website host so i can finally provide my family back home w a website for#them to see when i take pics & stuff
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I imagine we'd be worried about at least some of them if the late Thag Simmons's team was still alive, working in academia, and back-stabbing each other over grants and tenure? Or if like the guy who killed Ötzi was still around to sweat it when the mummy got discovered? Or if we'd spent the last ten millennia tripping over unexploded ordnance from the war to end all woolly mammoths at least once a decade or so?
starting an elite paramilitary black ops group who sneak into the homes of authors and cut one to three zeroes off any number of years given in a fantasy or sci-fi novel
#i mean the timescales are ridiculous yes#but these are both settings that traffic in immortal characters; well-preserved tech; or both#it's easy to both know the gist of something from 10k years ago and still care about it#if one of the principles won't stop reenacting it on leap years and your civilization's like 'my fucking tax dollars at work :|'#or your galactic empire is plagued by the turbo-charged remains of the previous galactic empire's self-annihilating#super-weapons that your contemporary idiots keep finding and going 'yeah but this time it's fine *I* know what I'm doing'#no you don't Breeblethorp Bloxblaster#that's what the last 250 idiots also thought and they were equally wrong#this is why there are 15 different space-departments regulating 10k-year-old tech#our fucking space-tax credits at work :|
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Tie my tie, marry me
Summary: The moment Nanami knew he never wanted to tie his tie by himself ever again and wanted to spend the rest of his life by your side. fluffy, nanami x fem!reader, nanami already loves everything you do but something about tying his tie was so intimate and special to him
It had been a year since Nanami officially asked you to be his girlfriend, but you had just started staying over during the weekdays. If either of you would stay at each other's houses, it would only be during the weekends when you both knew the next day could be dedicated to each other. Only recently had that unspoken rule changed.
You had both gone to the mall to shop for your new professional wardrobe and Nanami asked if he could buy a few extra things for you to keep at his house. You both knew what that implied and told him he could buy it, only if you could buy some stuff for him to keep at your house. You had both never been happier to spend more time and money at a crowded mall.
Nanami woke up a bit later for work than usual because of a power outage that turned off his alarm clock and did not charge his phone. You went into work after he did so you make his coffee and pack his lunch while he took a quick shower. You run into the bathroom to let him know he had less than 15 more minutes.
He steps out of the shower and grabs his razor to shave. You reach for the hairdryer he bought for you to keep at his house and start to dry his hair as he quickly shaves. You run out and start to rummage through his closet to set his clothes on the bed. Nanami finishes shaving and follows you out to get dressed.
"Shirt first, hurry," you take the shirt off the hanger and throw it to him.
Nanami begins to button the shirt when you get in front of him and start pulling his collar up and putting his tie around his neck. He looks at you with a questioning look and you quickly explain, "My dad taught me how to tie a tie. Never thought it'd come in handy since I never knew anyone who regularly wore a tie before you." You laugh at the memory but continue what you were doing to avoid making your boyfriend late.
Nanami however... his fingers stop buttoning his shirt. He looks at you, concentration and rush covering your features, but your fingers gently grazed his skin as you looped his tie. She's the first person to ever tie it for me, Nanami thinks. He had to learn how to do it from a video and was later corrected by some older male coworkers who showed him with their own ties.
The events of that morning finally dawn on him. You jumped out of bed right after you felt him jump out and started rushing around the apartment with him. He hadn't even mentioned that he was late, but you opened your eyes and knew what to do. He could smell the coffee from the room and heard the clanking of the leftover containers being opened and slid across counters from the shower. You dried his hair knowing that his route to work was not long enough to let it dry itself, and you took out exactly what he would have worn that day while he shaved. And now... there you stood before him, helping him tie his tie so his hands could do other things.
It seemed so... small. It was so small, so truly insignificant in the scale of life, something that could not hold weight in the world or change anything in the universe. But it changed his life, it was his favorite view in the world, and it would become his universe.
You look up at him and see him staring... and his hands not moving?! You move his hands away from the buttons and rush to finish buttoning it down. He takes your face in his hands and leans down to kiss you slowly. So very slow and soft. It stops you completely and you wrap your arms around his waist, relishing in the smell of his aftershave and body wash. Nanami deepens the kiss and moves an arm around your waist to pull you in closer. As much as you love when he pulls you in, the movement pulls you out of the kiss trance.
"Oh my god, Kento, hurry!! You're late, you're late!"
You step back and shove his pants into his arms. You tell him to hurry and that you'd grab his shoes to put by the door. You start yelling across the apartment that it would rain the entire afternoon and he needed to take the umbrella.
Nanami listens as you rustle through the closet looking for the umbrella and the light thud of what might have been his lunch bag and coffee thermal on the entryway table. He walks out the room putting on his suit jacket and sees you lightly jumping while telling him to hurry with his shoes.
Nanami leans down to tie his shoes but pauses after he's done. He goes to touch your bare leg since you hadn't even gotten dressed after waking up. You only wore his large shirt and underwear. He kneels and carefully lifts one leg to kiss your knee. He looks up from his kneeling position and says, "Thank you for helping. You really didn't have to."
His loving eyes close slightly while you lean down to give him one kiss as your response. "You're late," you whisper against his lips.
Nanami stands and takes his things while waving bye to you and your bed head. He heads out the door and begins a light jog to catch his regular train.
Yeap, she's the one, Nanami thinks.
Nanami spent his lunch break at the jewelry shop looking at rings that would look beautiful on your finger. There were so many engagement rings that would look gorgeous on you, but one caught his eye as he imagined that ring slightly moving on your finger as you tied his tie.
"I like that one. Do you have a size (your ring size) in stock?"
Nanami buys the ring at that moment and texts you to ask if he could come over to your house after work. He does not plan to propose on a regular Tuesday evening with no special plans, but he wants to hug you, smell your lovely perfume, take you some flowers, and give you a special thanks for helping him. And maybe, maaaayybe (most likely), stay over at your house to help him with his tie again the next morning.
#nanami kento#jjk nanami#jjk nanami kento#nanami#nanami x reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jujutsu kaisen nanami kento#jujutsu nanami#kento nanami#jjk nanami x reader#jjk nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x fem!reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fluff#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen fluff#nanami kento fluff#nanami fluff#nanami jjk#nanamin#jjk nanami kento x fem!reader#nanami x fem!reader#nanami x you#nanami x y/n#jjk x reader#nanamin fluff#nanami kento tie#jjk nanami kento tie
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Baking cookies for F1 drivers after they give you a good wienering(sex)… 



(Thank you tik tok for this idea & @turcott3 for helping)
| OSCAR PIASTRI | honestly he’s confused when you present him with the tray of cookies, thinks they’re for his win but when you tell them what they’re actually for he blushes bright red and giggles.
“Really? For giving you good sex?”
But he’s still very appreciative and makes sure you see that.
| LEWIS HAMILTON | Smirky but finds it amusing, pulls you into a sweet kiss and ends up quickly giving you a reason to bake more.
“Honey I think you’ll need another bag of flour by the end of the week.”
Your home begins to smell like baked goods all the time and anytime he’s craving your cookies he knows what he has to do.
| CHARLES LECLERC | He’s slightly confused but horned. He giggles when you tell him what they’re for and while he does find it slightly silly it warms his heart. Pulls you into a sweet kiss before he eats one and praises you for the amazing taste.
“Almost as delicious as you mon amor.”
| LANDO NORRIS | He gets cocky but also finds it hilarious, definitely throws out some dirty remarks that have you blushing, he uses this to his advantage though and always asks what he can do to get more.
“So how many do I get if I get you pregnant??”
| MAX VERSTAPPEN | He is severely confused, he doesn’t understand what you mean or why you would make him cookies for giving you what you deserve but he eats them nonetheless and tells you how delicious they are.
“I don’t understand Schat, why did you bake me cookies for fucking you good? That’s what I’m supposed to do.”
| LOGAN SARGEANT | Blushes like a school boy, he doesn’t know what to say at first but composes himself and thanks you. Gives you a sweet kiss before eating one, he ends up having the plate gone by the end of the day and he makes his way into your shower later that night with one thing on his mind.
“Can you make snickerdoodles next time?”
| DANIEL RICCIARDO | laughs his ass off for a solid 60 seconds before composing himself and pulling you in for a kiss. He thanks you a thousand times before picking one up for you two to share but quickly gets turned on by the way your lips skim his finger as he feeds it to you and next thing you know you’re bent over the counter. An hour later he comes in to find the oven set at 350 and you whipping up more cookies for him.
“What flavor you makin’ this time?”
| CARLOS SAINZ | He gets so fucking cocky, the second you tell him what you made them for his smirk overtakes his face. He thanks you properly with a quickie before cleaning you up and getting you cuddled up on the couch as he heats up the cookies and gets you both a glass of milk.
“I could get use to these.”
| LANCE STROLL | He’s confused for a good 15 seconds before he starts laughing. He’s very thankful though and horned that you thought the sex was good enough to bake him his favorite cookies. Gives you a sweet “thank you baby.” With a kiss before he splits one between the two of you.
| ALEX ALBON | It amuses him, you’d mentioned doing it to him but he didn’t think you actually would until he walks in to find you plating them. He knew what they were for right away and couldn’t contain his laughter, soon your both bent over laughing.
Once they’re cooled down he devours half of the plate and praises your skill.
#lando norris x reader#daniel ricciardo x reader#max verstappen x reader#charles leclerc x reader#lewis hamilton x reader#oscar piastri x reader#lance stroll x reader#carlos sainz x reader#alex albon x reader#logan sargeant x reader#formula one fluff#formula one smut#formula one fic#f1 fluff#f1 x reader#jaysheadcannons
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how dare you think it's romantic, leaving me safe and stranded



A/N: if i stared at this any longer it would never see the light of day...so here she is! this is the longest fic i've ever written and i'm kinda gagged about that but i really hope you like it and if you don't that's okay too this is just silly angsty brainrot anyways thanks for reading this my inbox is open if you wanna yap more summary: in which your kidnapping forces you and spencer to face the fallout following your recently ended relationship cw: angst, hurt/comfort, reader is kidnapped/held hostage, implications and mentions of SA to reader but nothing happens, cm type violence, ex!spencer, lowkey lovers to enemies back to lovers, cat adams, medical jargon, miscommunication trope, the bau team is family, afab!reader, pet names wc: 5.1k
Every case you and Spencer have been on has been insufferable for the rest of the team since your falling out, if it had to be given a name. Everyone always had to deal with your constant bickering and harsh words. It was the same in every case, a difference of opinions that led to incessant fighting between you two, Hotch would have to separate you both and use your joint intelligence separately for the sake of keeping everyone alive.
This last case was nothing different, a serial killer in Athens, Georgia who was religiously sacrificing young women in the name of a cult. Both of you fighting over what you believed the other to be wrong about in their part for solving the case. Spencer thought the unsub would have struck in a zone closer to his home, you assumed he was only going after women who resembled someone in his life. The real problem was that you were both wrong.
And it ended with you being held hostage.
It all happened so fast. You were in the car with Spencer and Rossi driving out to the unsub’s house to check for new evidence when you had stopped at a gas station about 15 miles out from the house to refuel. Rossi got out of the car to pump the gas, Spencer sat in the passenger seat, and you went inside to use the bathroom and grab a quick snack.
You quickly washed your hands after finishing in the bathroom and wiped your hands on your pants, still slightly damp as you turn the handle of the door. As you’re perusing the aisle looking for a snack, you can feel the presence of watchful eyes on you. Casually, you slowly look up and around at the source and clock a figure an aisle over with a cap turned downward blocking their face.
Your gut was sending flares up, telling you that danger was near. You nonchalantly walk over to the aisle he’s in, pretending to look at the nuts and dried fruits while attempting to get a look at his face. In a (maybe not so) bright idea, you think to knock a bag of nuts on the floor next to the lurker’s feet in the hopes he’ll bend down to pick it up for you.
With a push of your hand, the bag knocks off the shelf and onto the floor and you both bend down to pick it up.
“I’m so sorry about that,” you chuckle lightly, “I’m such a clutz.”
“No problem at all, Miss—.” He stops talking all of a sudden, you’re unsure why. You follow his gaze to your left hip where your FBI credentials are peaking out.
Shit.
He draws a weapon faster than you’re able to react with getting your own out, and by the time yours is out the barrel of his is flush with your forehead.
“Drop it.”
You quickly recognize the man as your unsub, miles away from his hunting ground and about to stray from his victimology with you.
“Come on, up. We’re going for a little ride.” He snarls, glancing outside at the black SUV with your colleagues. He grabs you by a hairful and drags you out the back door, shooting the gas station clerk before making the escape with you to his pickup truck. You’re shoved against the car door, back facing him, as he place a zip tie on your wrists and opens the door to sit you in the back seat. The unsub gets in the driver’s seat and starts the car, glaring at you through the rear view mirror, “I’m gonna have fun with you, fed.”
Meanwhile, back in the car Rossi stands at the pump waiting for the tank to fill and Spencer remains in the car looking over the case details once more. He can’t help but feel something is wrong, but can’t place his finger on it. He looks over the details again meticulously, searching for a fault anywhere in your, or even his own logic. Rossi closes the tank and hops back in the car, “She’s not back yet?” he pondered.
Spencer hadn’t even realized you weren’t back yet, “I guess not,” something wasn’t right, “She went ten minutes ago right?”
Rossi nods, opening his mouth to speak when a gunshot coming from the gas station cuts him off. The men look at each other, eyes widened and rush out of the car, weapons drawn.
“FBI!” Rossi enters, looking for any sign of you but coming up empty. Spencer takes note of the disheveled store, produce and cans lying astray. He steps around the mess to find an out of place bag of sour gummy worms on the floor in the middle of an aisle only filled with nuts and dried fruit.
Sour gummy worms were your favorite.
A sinking feeling settles in Spencer as he tries to fight the reality his brain is trying to tell him. He looks to Rossi with a pained expression, and Rossi matches it back.
“He took her.”
___
The next few hours are a blur for Spencer.
Rossi called the team to meet them at the gas station, already telling Garcia to hack into the security cameras to find any clue of where he’d taken you. Emily and Derek were checking out the crime scene, Hotch and Rossi talking to the sheriff. JJ finds Spencer staring off onto the one road connected to the station.
“We’re gonna find her, Spence.”
He whips his head up at the sound of her voice, “I should’ve realized sooner. I knew there was something off about his MO, a—and I just couldn’t place it. And now she’s gone and it’s all my fault and I never—“
“Spencer,” JJ interrupts softly, “You couldn’t have known. None of us did, even her.”
“I should have,” he laments, “And if she…if something happens to her because I wasn’t paying attention…” He trails off, too afraid of what his brain thinks is the ending of the sentence.
JJ offers him a sympathetic look, understanding the conflicting emotions, “We’ll find her, she’s strong. You know that.”
He stares back at her hoping, praying, that she’s right and you’re going to be okay. You have to be.
He’s pulled out of his head by Morgan calling him and JJ over, telling Garcia on the phone to repeat her findings.
“Okay, I think I have a lead based on the security camera footage on the car he has and where it’s been last seen. I’m sending the last known coordinates to your phones now.”
An idea springs to him, “Garcia, can you also check the gas station records and see how much he filled his tank?”
The clacking sounds of her keyboard ring through the phone before she speaks again, “He didn’t fill a full tank, only like, fifteen miles worth of gas.”
Everyone looks up at each other in realization of what the new information means. You had to be close by. Morgan walks over to tell Hotch, who immediately talks to a state ranger about setting up a 15 mile radius around the gas station with monitored roadblocks, no entry or exit without inspection.
After Hotch finishes he walks back to Spencer and lays a hand on his shoulder, “Good job, Reid,” He nods back with a thin lipped smile and fiddles with his pen anxiously, “Are you okay?”. Spencer can’t tell if he’s genuinely asking him or if he’s asking him for the sake of him being able to do his job properly considering the circumstances. Ever the profiler that man is, he thinks. He nods again nonetheless and walks over to meet Derek at the car.
Spencer and Derek get into the car and set the route for the coordinates Garcia gave, ETA 14 minutes. He swallows nervously, do you even have 14 minutes? What if he’s too late? What if you’re not even there? What if he never got to tell you—
“Reid. Are you even listening?”
“What?”
Derek raises his eyebrows as he glances at his friend, “Got something on your mind?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re a shit liar, man.”
“I’m not lying.” Even he doesn’t believe himself.
“Spencer—“
“I’m just worried! Okay? We’re all worried, it’s not a big deal.” he snaps.
Derek stops at a red light and looks over the console, “I’m going to ignore whatever that was,” guilt sweeps over Spencer’s face as he continues, “I’m not stupid kid, I know how you’re feeling. But you can’t let whatever turmoil you got in that big brain of yours affect this case. Not now.”
“I know that, Morg—“
“No, you don’t. I know you’re thinking about her, we all are. And we all want—need—her to be okay too. We will find her, but we can’t let the unsub get away too.”
Spencer sighs outwardly seeing the truth in his words. As concerned as he was about you he needed to remember this was still an active case. He couldn't let your past with each other cloud his judgement, even if the fallout still haunts him every day of his life. He needs to save you, but he also has a job to do. He just wasn’t sure if he’d remember that when they finally found you.
——
A pounding in your head stirs you awake, the bitter taste of metal flooding your senses as you come to. You blink a few times adjusting to the lowlights of the unfamiliar environment, hoping to find something distinguishable to ground you back to reality. It doesn’t help once you realize the blood crusted over your eye is the reason for your obscured vision. You attempt to rub it off on your shoulder ignoring the sharp pains shooting up from the abrasive contact.
Once you think you’ve cleared enough you blink a few more times registering your surroundings to be a house, a cabin more accurately. Your memory is a little fuzzy as you try to recount what happened before you were knocked out cold.
Gas station. Unsub. Unsub at the gas station? But where was I…I went to the bathroom… and was getting…gummy worms?… But Rossi and Spencer were just outside… now I’m here…so does that means the unsub—
“Oh good, you’re awake.”
You jolt at the voice—the unsub you’ve come to remember—and you realize your hands are tied up behind your back, quickly coming to the second realization that you are rendered both injured and immobile.
“What do you want, Jason?” you say hoarsely after a minute.
He chuckles, “I didn’t know they made them so pretty at the academy…” he walks over and kneels in front of you, gripping your chin between his forefinger and thumb to move your head, “They probably kept you around for…entertainment right?”
You whip your head, “Don’t fucking touch me.”
“Oh, you’re feisty. That’s good, keep it up. Makes this more fun.” he walks back over to the table and fiddles with something, you can’t really tell from the floor, “So how’d they make it work back in—what is it called—Quantico! They take turns with you or? There’s so many of y’all, probably had a system.”
The pounding in your head makes it more difficult to process anything he’s saying, “The hell are you talking about, take turns with what?” you ask, wincing through another wave of pain.
He turns around holding a metal rod and walks over, angling the rod under your chin to tilt your face up to meet his as he snarls, “I can’t wait to see how it feels to fuck a federal whore.”
All the color drains from your face and you kick into whatever gas is left in your autopilot. Your feet are flailing in every direction, body thrashing violently to prevent Jason from getting a good grip on you. You quickly learn the purpose of the metal rod hearing the clang! first, a millisecond passing before the pain and threat of unconsciousness spreads through your brain.
The hit takes you out long enough for him to pin you down on the floor, the weight of his body landing on you before the metal rod goes for your limbs. It’s then you realize the throes of death have wrangled you for what appears to be the last time, and it’s probably wise to start saying—thinking— your final words.
To my parents, I love you. To Derek and Penelope, thank you for letting me third wheel with you. Emily, I’ll miss our weekend Sin City excursions. JJ, please give your boys the biggest hug from their favorite aunt. Rossi and Hotch, you always cared for me like I was your own—I am so grateful for you.
And Spencer…Oh, Spencer. How I hoped I would have the time to say I’m sorry for what happened, I hope you’ll forgive me in due time. I wish I told you that nothing about us ever changed for me. You were and will always be, My Spencer, I just wish I could tell you one more time how much I lov—“
“FBI, Drop your weapon!”
A clattering sound of something dropping rings directly next to your ear and the weight that was on you alleviates at the same time. You groan out and instinctively curl up on yourself, the pain spreading throughout your body. The sensory overload is so much you don’t hear the approaching figure crouching next to you.
“Hey Hey Hey,” Spencer stutters, quickly making work of the ties on your hands and holding you gently as he lays your head on his lap cradling you close, trying to hide the forming tears when he hears your whimpers of pain, “You’re okay, it’s okay. The medic’s coming.” He looks back to where the unsub was and watches Derek put him in cuffs, nodding at Spencer before walking out with Jason.
“…Spencer?” you whisper out weakly. You think you’re dreaming honestly, that in the wake of death you learn heaven isn’t a place but only his arms.
“Yeah, honey, it’s me.” he chokes out looking back down at your bruised face. He’s unsure how you still look angelic even when you’re hurt, but it doesn’t surprise him that you do. You were always good at defying the laws of nature, he prayed it extended to your immortality.
“It hurts.” you pout pathetically.
He brushes a strand of hair out of your eyes gently, “I know it does, honey I know. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry this happened. I should’ve been there. I’m sorry, baby.” he whispers tearfully.
You cough out and whimper in pain, “I’m sorry too.”
Spencer shakes his head vehemently, “No, don’t apologize. Don’t do that, just keep your eyes open for me, okay? I’m right here, I won’t leave you.”
The tiredness soon wins and your eyes flutter close. Before Spencer can even panic and beg you to open them again the medic finally comes and asks him—pulls him— to move so they can start working on you.
He reluctantly backs up and watches on with glossed over eyes, barely registering all the things they were sticking in you to wake you up. The medics stabilize your neck with a C-SPINE and lift you onto the gurney, wheeling you back to the ambulance. The same medic who asked Spencer to move comes up to him again, “We’re taking her to Georgetown Medical, you’re allowed to ride in the back with us if you want.”
You slowly come to again on the gurney and Spencer meets your open eyes before you even realize they’re on you. Without hesitation he says, “Yeah, I’m coming.”
The medic team lifts your gurney inside the rig, and right before Spencer gets in he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns around to find Hotch, “You’ll be okay?”
It’s a loaded question. He’s not asking if Spencer is okay at this moment, because it doesn’t take a profiler to see that he’s the farthest from it. He says it as a grounding reminder knowing how Spencer gets about you. It didn’t matter to the team if you both fell out, the pair of you never faltered in your subconscious for each other. Both of your actions always moved faster than your brains, especially when it involved the other.
That’s what worried his Unit Chief.
He nods and Hotch gives his shoulder a light squeeze, “Keep us updated,” the concern clearly etched in his eyes breaking through his usual stoicism as he looks inside the rig, “We’ll meet you there as soon as we can.”
Under the bright lights of the ambulance he’s—unfortunately—able to really take inventory of the injuries you sustained. The blue and black bruising scattered your limbs, the congregation of it on your stomach telling him you have at least two broken ribs. His eyes trail further down your body before abruptly stopping, but not on an appendage.
Spencer’s face pales even further than it already has staring at the glint on the undone button of your trousers shining in the reflection of the light.
If they didn’t get there when they did…If he got to you a second later…He can’t even fathom to think about what would’ve happened.
He’s broken out of his spiral by the EMT sitting next to him offering a tissue, which is when Spencer feels the tear and snot streaks rolling down his face. He takes it and wipes his face mindlessly before muttering, “Can I just…” hands reaching out to you before his words come out. Spencer doesn’t notice the EMT tearing up as he gently buttons your pants.
——
You were a fighter.
At least, that’s what the doctors told Spencer when they came and updated him in the waiting room. He blanks out for most of the conversation, eyes unfocusing and ears on low lest your name be spoken.
“She’s stable and awake now, the nurse can take you back to see her.”
He shakes his head to recenter and mutters a thank you before following the nurse through the double white doors. His senses are heightened as he walks closer to your room. The scuff of his shoes on the linoleum floors, the pedantic beeping of machines in the rooms he passes, until he hears the only voice that’s ever been enough to calm the warzone in his mind.
“Hi, Spence.”
His feet move on their own accord right next to your bedside, hands hovering awkwardly at his side. He’s silent for the first couple minutes, just a faint sniffle here and there before he takes a seat near your bed and hears you speak again.
“You can touch me, Spence. I won’t break more than I already am.”
“Don’t say that,” he chides quickly, “It’s not a joke.”
“Well, someone should be the comedic relief here.”
He lays the tips of his fingers right on top of the tips of yours, “You could have died.”
Your face softens, “I didn’t though.”
“You could have.”
“Spencer—“
“Stop down playing it. You don’t know what it was like finding you like that.”
“I mean I have some idea, ‘cause like, I was there.”
Spencer deadpans at your poor attempt at lightening the mood, a faint smile peaking through while he shakes his head, “Insufferable even at your deathbed.”
“Yeah, the Grim Reaper heard me yapping and said ‘keep her’.”
He chuckles softly as his hand moves further up to rest the front of his palm on the back of your hand, “How are you feeling?”
“I’ve…been better. The doctor said one of my broken ribs punctured an artery, a big one apparently,” you flip your hand over so both of your palms are touching but not laced, you softly continue, “Told me I was lucky I came in when I did. Any later the internal bleeding would’ve spread to my lungs.”
Spencer feels the tears springing again and a lump forming in his throat, “I’m so sorry, sweet girl,” the pet name slipping out before he could realize, “I should’ve gotten there sooner, or realized something was wrong at the gas station.”
“Hey. Don’t do that. You saved my life.” your fingers intertwine with his and squeeze with whatever strength you can muster, which isn’t a lot and it makes his heart clench tighter. “I’m here.”
He lets out the breath he’s been holding since he walked in, “You’re here.”
“I didn’t forget what you promised me when we…broke up,” God you wish it didn’t sound so terminable as it did, “I knew you’d find me. You always do.”
Another sniffle leaves him as he rubs his thumb soothingly on your hand, “I always do…Look, there’s something I need to tell you—“
He doesn’t get to finish his sentence as Penelope & Company burst into your room bearing balloons, chocolates, and many, many stuffies.
“How’s our girl doing?” Penelope huffs, hauling an entire Hallmark catalog worth of gifts in tow.
“She’s doing fine, Penny.” you chuckle lightly, trying your best to hide the wince of pain from your side, “You did not need to do all this.”
“Nonsense, everyone knows bear stuffies are the real medicine of the world.” she gleefully ignores the nurse onlookers, “I also brought you this, of special request by someone who shall not be named.” From her back she produces a bag of your favorite candy—sour gummy worms. A fact that you knew only one person was privy to.
You act surprised nonetheless, “My favorite! Thank you, Penny. And all of you, for coming to see my crippled self.”
Spencer watches the team take turns doting on you. Emily, JJ, and Penelope sit with you for about four Gilmore Girls episodes—another lost relic of modern medicine, according to Penny—after which Morgan, Rossi, and Hotch keep you company for a little bit before bidding you good night with forehead kisses and well wishes. Spencer stays with you the whole time, never once leaving your side.
You are so loved, he thinks. He didn’t realize how much he liked watching you be loved. It makes him miss the times when he could do that for you too.
——
Weeks pass since the day of your kidnapping. You still find it weird to call it that, even though it’s literally what happened. You’ve been on house arrest—bed rest—begrudgingly, and while Penelope’s very glittery visiting schedule has kept you entertained, it’s been hard when the only person you really wanted to see has refused to come visit since you left the hospital.
You’ve asked Penelope why Spencer hasn’t come, and all she can offer you is a sad smile and a ‘He said something come up sweetie, sorry.’. Texting him seemed even more daunting, more because you weren’t about to beg for his attention if he obviously doesn’t want you to have it.
The doorbell steals your attention and you glance over at the schedule before you walk over to open it, not expecting a visitor at this time.
Spencer looks up from his shoes hearing the door open, “Hey.”
A minute passes, “Why are you here?” you ask bluntly.
He looks confused, “I came to check on you, brought you takeout from the Indian place you like.” The food in his hand smells heavenly but you can’t seem to enjoy it yet without getting an answer.
“Why are you here, now?” you ask again with an addendum.
He either really wants to piss you off or his ear blew out on the way over but he chooses to ignore you and enter your apartment, “You having nightmares again?”
“What? No…” you lie poorly, straightening up your back, “Just tired.”
He chuckles, “Good to know you’re still a terrible liar. Did you know you wear Doctor Who shirts when you’re feeling anxious?”
Your brows fuddle in confusion but he elaborates, “It’s probably subconscious, something you find comforting and naturally gravitate to in times of distress. It’s a normal stress response but…you’re wearing an Eleventh Doctor shirt.” My Eleventh Doctor shirt, he thinks.
“That doesn’t mean anything.” you feign.
“Maybe it doesn’t,” he nods, “But you are anxious aren’t you?”
“Spencer, what the fuck is going on, why are you here, really?” your eyes narrow, arms crossing defensively.
“I told you, I came to check on you.”
“You just woke up this morning and decided it was convenient for you to see me today?” Spencer opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. You stare at him with tearful eyes and the emotion spills out of you before you can stop it. You speak again after a few moments, voice barely above a whisper, “You left me. Again.”
He tilts his head, “No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did.” you grit out, “You were rooted at my bedside the entire time I was hospitalized, and the second I was discharged you were nowhere to be found. I thought, maybe with Penny’s schedule you’d come by, but then I came to find out that you didn’t even put your name down.”
“You almost died!” he retorts, “You almost died, because I made a mistake and you got hurt because of it!”
“So, that gives you the right to abandon me for the second time?”
“I didn’t…” he sighs out roughly, “I didn’t abandon you. I just, couldn’t…face you.” Face you, in pain, as a result of his actions.
“Is that what happened the first time you left?” you bite back.
His eyes steel over, “That was different.”
“I don’t see how.”
“You know why I left.”
“I don’t think I do, Spencer—”
“I left because I was putting you in danger!” he yells cutting you off, “I left because loving you meant dragging you into all the messed up stuff that happens to me, stuff that’ll keep happening to me.”
Tobias. Mexico. Cat.
A single tear rolls down your face, “That’s bullshit, I’m sorry. We work the same damn job, the risks are the same if we’re together or not.”
“You don’t understand—“
“Then fucking enlighten me, Spencer.”
He stares at you, fighting an internal battle of whether he was really willing to admit his truth to you, one that he knows you deserved to know but wasn’t sure if it would put you more in harm's way.
“Cat had details about your family.”
That’s not what you were expecting to hear. Your face drops, “Wh—What?”
His eyes dart around the room nervously, “After I got out of Millburn and we went to see Cat, she was trying all these tactics to get me to break. I was doing fine, until she started talking about you. She was saying things that only you told me, stuff that’s not even on record.”
You remember that day. You were supposed to go with him and JJ to the correctional facility but ended up stuck at the BAU because your skill set was more valuable in helping Penelope locate Mr. Scratch. You remember how he came back to you that day, distant and glassed over. It was easy to chalk up his behavior following it to his recent release, but when you woke up a few weeks later to an empty bed and a throwaway note saying ‘I’m sorry.”, you couldn’t figure out for the life of you why all of a sudden you didn’t exist to him, like you didn’t matter.
“I made a choice, one that I knew would protect you.”
“That’s not a decision for you to make.” you snap.
“I had to,” he says lowly, taking a step closer to you, “If being with me puts your safety at risk…” another step, “I’d rather live in a world where you hate me and are still here…” one more step, “Than one where you loved me and died because of it.” he manages to choke out, taking one final step towards you.
It’s quiet for a couple minutes, save for the soft whistle of the breeze coming from your open window. The resolve in you has long faded, leaving behind nothing but the skin on your bones to weather the damage. It makes sense to you why he did what he did, and you don’t know if the roles were reversed would you do the same thing. But you knew that you loved him and he loved you, and that alone should have been enough.
You can’t help but let out a whine, sounding like a petulant child, “That’s not fair, Spence.”
“What’s not fair, baby?” he softly whispers.
Your whine turns into a cry, “That, all of this. The fall on your sword act in which you decide what’s best for me is to leave me stranded, thinking I did something wrong that made you stop loving me.”
He steps forward a little more, his face mere inches from your own, “You think I stopped loving you?”
“Was I supposed to think otherwise? You couldn’t even stand being in the same room as me.”
His hands raise to gently cup your face, thumbs positioned under your eyes to wipe the fallen tears. He’s missed looking into your eyes as close as he is. For a man who doesn’t believe in religion he’s pretty certain the gates of heaven lie within your irises.
“I was selfish,” he swallows, “I wanted to keep you safe but I did so in a way that I felt was most logical, which turned out to be so fucking wrong regardless since you still got hurt.”
He brings your face impossibly closer, the warmth of his breath gently hitting your face.
“There isn’t a waking moment where I don’t love you. Even when we weren’t together, I still looked out for you and I made sure you were safe in ways I couldn’t tell you. I meant what I said. I told you I’d find you in every lifetime. I love you, in every lifetime, angel girl.”
The ache in your heart only grows with his words, reminding you that he always was and will forever be, Your Spencer.
“You can’t do that again,” you stutter out through tiny sobs, “You need to tell me what’s going on, whatever it is. We figure it out together.”
He nods softly, the hair on his forehead faintly brushing up on yours, “We figure it out together. I’m so sorry for everything, baby.” his lips press a long kiss to your forehead, “I’m here now, I’m not going anywhere.”
You rise on your toes to meet your lips with his, the missed time and unspoken words flowing silently between you both. His hands wrap gently around your waist and pull you flush to his chest, with yours entangling with the brown curls you had missed so much.
Finally back in his arms, you sigh with exhaustion and relief, “You’re here.”
“I’m here, honey.”
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid hurt/comfort#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid criminal minds
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hand of gold — cs55
pairing: carlos sainz x wolff!reader
summary: nobody knew you and carlos sainz jr were dating, much less getting married. now everyone’s buzzing at the prospect of getting to witness the biggest (and most expensive) wedding in formula one history.
authors note: this was requested by an anon MONTHS ago and i am so sorry this took me so long, AND im so sorry because the request has for some reason disappeared from my inbox, i hope this makes it to you anon!
instagram • ynwolff • dec 23 • monaco ⚑

liked by lewishamiliton, kimi.antonelli and 718,025 others!
ynwolff: happy holidays from the wolff family 🐺🎅
view comments below!
username1: you never let me forget how rich you are
username2: how does it feel to live the life
username3: are toto and susie looking for a 3rd
➥ ynwolff: it’s christmas…have some decorum.
➥ username3: i didn’t think you would see that…i apologize.
➥ username3: but…are they?
username4: i would kill my entire family to experience a wolff family christmas
username5: i can’t believe she’s still soft launching, you can trust us girl
➥ username6: it’s been THREE whole years…we will never see this man’s full face
➥ username7: i bet he’s ugly.
➥ username8: hes either 1. hideous to look at 2. not rich 3. a driver, or 4. a controversial man
➥ username9: what if it’s lewis?
➥ username10: do you see an ounce of melanin on that man’s skin?
➥ username11: this whole thread is why we will never know who she’s dating 😒
kimi.antonelli: thank you for the new kart 💙 i love it!
➥ ynwolff: only the best for a mercedes driver <3
➥ georgerussell63: i don’t recall getting a new anything for these last 2 years? 🤨
➥ ynwolff: remember that you are a grown man with a grown man paycheck!
instagram • pomegranatesgossip • unknown ⚑

liked by 72,626 users!
pomegranategossip: #neverforgiveneverforget the day this picture came out and everyone thought carlos was for sure going to mercedes! just for him to go WILLIAMS, will forever reminisce on what we could’ve had
view comments below!
username12: they knew what they were doing..and they were so evil for it
➥ username13: will forever wonder what they were talking about
➥ username14: and why on earth was old papa sainz there?
username15: i have a theory..but im scared people will think im schizophrenic
➥ username16: as a diagnosed schizophrenic, let’s indulge into this theory together
➥ username15: i’m convinced carlos is dating toto’s daughter
➥ username16: oh baby….
➥ username15: NO IM NOT CRAZY
username17: nightmare blunt rotation
instagram • carlossain55 • jan 13 • joali being ⚑


liked by susie_wolff, ynwolff, and 628,926 others!
carlossainz55: big things coming soon
view comments below!
username18: i’m cumming soon 😩
➥ username19: ON A POST WHERE HES SHOWING OFF HIS GF???
username20: another one that won’t man up and hard launch 😒
➥ username21: what a coincidence that both yn and carlos have been soft launching for the same amount of time ���
➥ username22: now that you mention it..
➥ username23: huh
username24: why is susie wolff in the likes?
➥ username25: the TWO wolffs are in the likes
➥ username26: yn has been in the likes since forever, susie on the other hand…
username27: i’m look at the hand in the second picture, and as much as i hate to ask, is that a engagement ring?
➥ username28: please please PLEASE DONT START
➥ username29: i can’t handle that right now
➥ username30: climate change, the cheetos in office, the worlds falling apart, and CARLOS IS ENGAGED TO SOMEONE WHOS NOT ME??? I WILL KILL MYSELF
➥ username31: this was truly the last thing i needed this year
➥ username32: if carlos got a engaged, why would he be wearing an engagement ring? isnt it normal the woman?
➥ username33: unless carlos was proposed TO
username34: please don’t do this to me carlos
twitter


instagram • ynwolff • jan 15


liked by carlossainz55, lewishamilton, and 619,026 others!
yourusername: fixed on your hand of gold
view comments below!
username35: we really went from 0 to 100 real quick 😨
username36: im frozen. you just altered the timeline
username37: THE TWITTER CRAZIES WERE RIGHT?
➥ username38: more importantly THE SCHIZOPHRENIC GIRL WAS RIGHT?
susie_wolff: tell him to watch his hands
➥ carlossainz55: yes ma’am i will watch my hands forever and always
➥ lando: kiss ass 🤣
➥ carlossainz55: you wish you could kiss my ass
➥ ynwolff: oh 😆
➥ carlossainz55: i didn’t mean it baby, i only want you to kiss my ass
➥ susie_woff: …
➥ username39: i like this new change
username40: i actually cannot handle this news right now
username41: THATS WHY PAPA SAINZ AND BABY SAINZ WERE TALKING TOO SUSIE AND TOTO
username42: i can just imagine carlos asking toto permission to propose to yn 😭
username43: wait so who proposed to who?
➥username44: i can’t imagine yn wolff getting on her knees for any man
➥ username45: it wouldn’t make sense for carlos to have a an engagement ring unless yn proposed to him
➥ username46: keep in mind, yn has an engagement ring too
➥ username47: maybe rich people do stuff differently
susie_wolff: i would like to make it clear that my daughter did not get on her knees for any man. she was proposed too, and THEN did she get an engagement ring for her soon to be husband —toto wolff
➥ username48: toto said put some respect on his daughters name
➥ username49: this makes me feel much better
➥ username50: this wedding better be HUGE
➥ username51: if i can’t have a big wedding, then i least i can live through someone who will
carlossainz55: i love you 💙
➥ alex_albon: simp
➥ username51: so did everyone in the paddock know about this relationship?
➥ lando: yes
➥ username52: just dig the knife deeper
➥ username53: i didn’t even feel this level of betrayal when my boyfriend cheated on me
twitter


instagram • carlossain55 • feb 14 • monaco ⚑



liked by ynwolff, charles_leclerc, and 916,016 others!
carlossainz55: wolff-sainz wedding, september ‘25
view comments below!
username54: so what i’m understanding is that your taking the wolff last name 🤨
username55: holy shit look at those flowers
username56: ON HIS BIRTH MONTH EVERYONE!
username57: my expectations for men just went way up
username58: im assuming it'll be a very flower themed wedding??
lando: so according to my invitation, i shouldn't bring fireworks? will you be providing them or was it a typo?
➥ carlossainz55: this will be a firework free wedding lando.
➥ lando: WHAT
➥ charles_leclerc: NO FIREWORKS?
➥ maxverstappen1: well i already bought the fireworks so
➥ carlossainz55: do not set off fireworks at my wedding max.
➥ maxverstappen1: what the fuck am i going to do with all these fireworks
username60: im so excited for OUR wedding
username61: the bride right in the middle as she deserves
username62: the way yn has posted these exact photos on her story before..
➥ username63: private but never secret
➥ username64: i still can't believe they got away with this for THREE years
ynwolff: so ready for you to take my last name
➥ carlossainz55: so ready for you to take MY last name
➥ susie_wolff: technically you're taking my last name—toto wolff
➥ username65: you two should fight to the death, and whoever wins takes the others name
instagram • pomegranatesgossip • unknown ⚑

liked by ynwolff and 92,193 others!
pomegranatesgossip: two snippets of carlos talking about the wedding in a recent interview:
"I think the thing that bothers me the most is when people say 'is yn a bride...what do they call it? bride...zila?' I do not understand what is wrong with a woman wanting everything to be perfect on her big day. I don't think people understand how stressful it is to plan a wedding. It seems like all we do is plan, plan, plan. And I do love it because I want the day to be perfect for her, but if I'm not racing, I'm planning the wedding. So I understand why some women, especially when they don't have their fiancé to help them, can get a bit....angsty."
"When we had that talk about our future, one thing my YN made very clear was that she wanted a huge wedding. She wanted different dresses, different cakes, different venues, everything. So, I think it was our fourth date when I started taking note of everything she liked—I actually still have the list—so when we did plan the wedding, it would be easier, you know? what flowers she loved versus which ones she just liked. It did make it easier. Instead of going crazy over two good choices, we can easily pick one."
view comments below!
username66: oh my gosh he's so in love???
username67: that was supposed to be my man
username68: i am begging you guys to go see the actual video because the heart eyes he gets when talking about yn is so 🥰
ynwolff: i knew there was no way he just memorized my top 50 favorite flowers... 🤨
➥ carlossainz55: i’m sorry baby i have bad memory
➥ username69: THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY MAN
username70: his yn everyone
username71: HE KNEW HE WAS GOING TO MARRY HER BY THE FOURTH DATE! THE FOURTH
instagram • carlossainzwolff55 • sep 1



liked by ynwolffsainz, alex_albon, and 1,726,917 others!
carlossainzwolff55: Mrs. Yn Wolff-Sainz 🫀
view comments below!
username72: i just woke up wtf happened
username73: oh so by september you meant the FIRST of the month
username74: THAT DRESS
danielricciardo: beautiful wedding, beautiful bride 🍾
➥ carlossainzwolff55: 🤨
➥ lando: you don’t have to be so jealous anymore, you’re married now!
➥ carlossainzwolff55: 🤨
username75: he wasted NO TIME changing that username 😭
username76: for those who are in a different time zone and missed the insta story’s, here’s a summary: yn had 3 different dresses, they had 4 different venues? (what it looked liked) and a shit load of flowers, ALSO toto cried
➥ susie_wolff: is it so shocking that i cried at my beautiful daughters first wedding? — toto wolf
➥ username76: you need to get an instagram account old man
➥ carlosainzwolff55: first and ONLY wedding ** 🙂
username77: they took each others last name 🥹
username78: its so scute how he’s the one that’s always the first to post
lando: would’ve been better with fireworks
➥ charles_leclerc: agreed
➥ maxverstappen1: totes
➥ carlossainzwolff55: god forbid i don’t want tacky fireworks at my wedding
➥ maxverstappen1: TACKY??? I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW MY FIREWORK GUY ONLY GETS ME TOP OF THE LINE EXPLOSIVES
➥ username79: top of the line and fireworks should not be associated
username80: we’ve come so far in such little time
username81: it’s carlos’s birthday…
➥ username82: OH MY GOD THEY GOT MARRIED ON HIS BIRTHDAY
ynwolffsainz: i love you 🫀
➥ carlossainzwolff: i love you MORE 🥰
➥ alex_albon: sick to my stomach (beautiful wedding btw!)
username83: the picture in the middle?? jaw dropped.
➥ username84: it’s my new wallpaper 😭
username85: i see my future and its bright
username86: thank you for all the wedding inspo!
username87: so can we refer to toto as old man wolff now? because it’ll get real confusing real quick if we don’t change something
#carlos sainz x y/n#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x female reader#carlos sainz smau#carlos sainz fanfic#carlos sainz fluff#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x y/n#f1 fic#f1 x female reader#f1 x you#f1 social media au#f1
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what people don't know about sae itoshi is that despite being known as the nonchalant final boss, he's actually the most chalant person known to man when it comes to his lover
it's quite hilarious really. people who know about your relationship usually come to you and ask how the soccer super star prodigy has been treating you but you always answer the same— he's treating you well
although people don't really buy it. the way sae acts around you in public is rigid at best. yes, he's your boyfriend and yes, he loves you very much but when you two are out and about, media outlets just can't help but publish articles about how the famed middle fielder is totally "an emotional unavailable partner" (sae reports every single article about this btw)
sae itoshi is a man of few words. letting his actions talk for him is one way to put it
but behind closed doors? it's another story
it might be considered a legend that the sae itoshi is actually a pretty hands on boyfriend. in fact, sometimes it becomes a little too much when he dotes on you so much
one time you texted him that you had a headache for a while now and you almost forgot who you were texting the second he replies that it's because you didn't do this and that today
[3:14 PM] mi corazón: ? [3:14 PM] mi corazón: did you drink water today? i didn't see you drink before i left for training [3:15 PM] mi corazón: have you eaten? fucking hell don't tell me you "forgot" to eat again because you were caught up at work? [3:16 PM] mi corazón: wya? i'll order you food. ask your shitty co workers what they want too so i can treat your department while i'm at it. tsk [3:17 PM] mi corazón: tsk. what will you do without me [3:17 PM] you: sae... it's just a headache.... it's hot out today [3:18 PM] mi corazón: you forgot to bring the fucking umbrella i got you from pasotti? [3:19 PM] you: ykw i don't have a headache anymore [3:20 PM] mi corazón: read 3:20 PM
another time was you had joined him into going on a hike with his friends (shidou and aiku) and you accidentally had spluttered mud all over your legs
aiku and shidou were kind enough to stop so you could clean yourself up but you simply brush it off and say that it's part of the nature experience of hiking but sae thought otherwise
he grabbed a wet wipe from his backpack (another hc: he comes prepared like a boyscout with shit like this like personal hygiene shit💀), kneels down behind you and starts wiping the mud off your legs
much to everyone's surprise
"be careful next time" sae mutters, wiping the last bit of mud on your calf before disposing the now dirty wipes away
when you don't say anything, sae looks up and raises a brow
"what?"
he then watches your eyes motion to the bystanders being aiku and shidou, who both had their jaws dropped to the floor
who knew their little soccer super star friend could be this down bad to their lover?
sae immediately gets up from the ground, brushing his trousers as he clears his throat. as if that could erase that beautiful moment shared with you from aiku and shidou's minds
"tsk. don't make a big deal out of it" sae clicks his tongue in annoyance as he leads the pack back on the trail. consciously ignoring aiku and shidou's loud giggles and teasing
sae knows damn well that they won't ever live this down but who cares. if it's you, he'd do anything in a heartbeat
a few weeks pass by and wow, was sae right. those two idiots did not in fact live it down. so much that they just had to leak it to the media that the nonchalant final boss, sae itoshi isn't the final boss to nonchalance after all
the first thing he sees on his phone was a new article posted by pop base
[EXCLUSIVE] SAE ITOSHI ISN’T EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED AFTER ALL? JUICY INSIDERS SCOOP!
when he takes a peek at the article (before he reports it), it was oddly specific and detailed about that one hiking trip you had a few weeks ago. he didn't have to put two and two together to figure out who these "juicy insiders" were
"god damn it" sae clenches his jaw as he continues to skim through the article
suddenly sae hears you burst out laughing from the living room
oh no.
sae trudges to your shared living room with your own cup of kombucha for the day and sees you laughing your ass out while reading the same article
"stop reading that" sae groans, settling down the cup on the coffee table. he takes a seat next to you and leans his head on top of yours
"they're right you know" you giggle, reading the article "for a guy who acts all cold and collected on the outside, you sure are the exact opposite on the inside"
sae rolls his eyes, "gee. i wonder where they got that information from. i'm going to kill both of them" he mutters, pertaining to shidou and aiku
"you're just embarrassed that you've been exposed for the secret lover boy you are"
"they don't need to know what goes on behind closed doors" he points out. true
"okay lover boy. whatever you say" you laugh, holding your hands up in surrender. there was no point with arguing with sae when it comes to shit like this
there's a moment of silence after that. you glance up to catch sae quietly looking at you. like he was all caught up in the moment within your shared humble abode
"jesus. you really are down bad" you gasp quietly, covering your mouth pretending to be shocked. sae snaps out of his little trance hearing your words and flicks your forehead
"am not!"
"are so!"
"no!"
"yes!"
"i love you" you interject, catching sae slightly off guard
you meet sae's eyes as they soften. he simply shrugs and wraps an arm around your shoulders as he pulls you close to his chest
"and i love you more— now stop reading that stupid article before i report you and that damn news media outlet"
"sae!"
#i kinda ate with this one im ngl this is lowkey kinda funny#sae imagines#sae x reader#blue lock imagines#blue lock x reader#bllk imagines#bllk x reader#sae itoshi imagines#sae itoshi x reader#by ads ⭑.ᐟ#saeist... you've done it again we fear...
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