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spaciebabie · 2 years ago

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As a certified Springtrap simp, which backstory for William do you prefer: one where he was a good dad driven mad maybe by jealousy or the loss of his youngest child, or one where he was always an abusive narcisist that cared for nobody but himself?

i feel like the, "im evil so i must also abuse my creations and/or children" has been really overdone. like idk im just tired of seeing it personally. and the whole "haha!!! im craaaazy!!" thing we get in the comics also rubs me the wrong way b/c. thats not. how he's portrayed in the games at all. esp hearing him in sister location he feels like he would be a calm sort of madness. he seems like a rational guy. he doesnt talk like that. he doesnt act like that. it seems really contradictory

i feel like him being a good dad (or at the least caring deeply for his children) gives him more urgency and like,,,,makes sense w/what we're given. it aligns the most w/the theories we have asta why he started killing etc. i also just enjoy the tragedy of it. he started out as a good guy w/good intentions and then was twisted inta something unrecognizable b/c he was so focused on tryin ta reach his goal. personally my hc is that he was jelly of henry and then the death of crying child tipped him over the edge and started his whole killing thing. imo its better than, "hee hoo i was evil FOREVER!! im PURE evil and have always been EVIL!!!" like. okay. wheres the subsistence?? give him depth dammit

why would he build a robot for his daughter if he didnt love her. why would he tell crying child he would put him back together if he didnt love him (not really cemented as something he said, but i mean who else would say it?? certainly not michael he was a boy. i think as a fandom we assume its heavily implied). it makes the afton kid's deaths so much more impactful. the prospect of this man losing pieces of his life bit by bit and being driven insane by it is enthralling

i love a good chaotic descent. i love thinking abt him being consumed w/a need ta revive his own son becoming obsessed w/life and death as a result. oh the irony of loving your own kid so much you would take others children away from them, knowing how losing your own felt. and the twisting of emotions as he sees his son michael someone who he would've died for, try ta stop him. b/c hes not understanding, they need ta b together again. thats all hes tryin ta do. get his family back tagether. and all these fucking obstacles are in the way of his only goal. and the manifestation of hatred of his own son b/c of this. b/c hes getting in his way. like, talk abt juicy. i want that man ruined. it just adds a layer of psychological torture that i just adore. william fucking ruined everything. he ruined his own happy family, he ruined his own life, and if he actually mourns that? chefs kiss.

my thought is, why even have him have a family in the first place if they're just there ta demonstrate he's evil? seeing the afton family purely as a plot device, we already know afton killed kids. one can assume a person who kills kids is a bad person (maybe? see this is where the juiciness comes in w/him caring for his children. is it really bad from his perspective if hes trying ta save his kid? or is it noble?) so we dont need ta b demonstrated ta that hes a bad person again. if hes just pure evil from the get go it doesnt make sense ta me ta have the afton kids be prominent in the story (besides michael, but even then he could probably be replaced by one of the victims family members) when you could illustrate the same point by focusing on the kids hes killed and their families. why do the afton kids matter if he treats all children the same. why are we focusing so much on the afton family and what appear ta b major story beats in their story, especially since the children he has killed do not get as fleshed out as the aftons do. i feel like if his family wasnt important ta him we wouldnt hear abt it at all. you could achieve the same message by making him single and childless.

do u kno how many stories there are of "Righteous Child Of A Horrible Guy Who Hates Everything, Even Their Own Family, Goes Out Ta Stop Their Parent And Save The Day" there are? its b/c its too easy!!! its too easy for u ta assume that a character is the worst and has been the worst forever!!! its too easy ta assume that an evil character would abuse their family!!! its too easy ta assume an evil character wouldn't have traits besides jealousy, hatred and narcissism!!!!

#spacie splains #idk i think of things really objectively #i dont like clutter in my stories i like things ta have a point #and i like them ta serve a purpose and be unique. not just demonstrate the same facts over and over again #unless thats like a theme and intentional but yk #like i said i dont like the 'im evil and treat my family like shit' trope #overdone ta hell and back #so its a personal thing #thank you for asking me abt this! i love talking abt him as u can see :)#give me morally grey characters give me characters who descend inta the worst version of themselves for ways they could have prevented #give me characters who know they're spiraling give me characters who know its wrong but cant stop #give me characters who do horrible things for a cause that is sentimental and noble ta them #give me characters who you can understand why they did that even if it was awful #WOW I TALKED A LOT #.....8 years of brainrot‚ even if i wasnt conscious of it #I DONT LIKE THE EASY ROAD!!! I DONT WANT TA BLINDLY HATE HIM I WANT 2 THINK!!!#i like these rants i do so ill tag him #as a treat ta myself #william afton #fnaf #you: ask me a simple 'hey which one do u prefer?' me: here is my whole dissertation on the subject that is william afton

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pool-floatie · 6 months ago

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Dead by Twilight- Pt 5

Thirsty for a sadistic bastard and a pathetic Lil guy?!? Well have I got just the story for you! (after like 4 months of waiting but shhhhhh)

Here well discover what it's like to have fucking anxiety ! (Wait you already do??) Well go ahead and cope with the horrors by reading about, you guessed it, worse horrors!

I Luh u guys sm for putting up with me, please enjoy:

Wren sat, silent for a while, still shuddering and disdraught as they tried to think of anything they could do to help themself.

Escape was impossible, this trap was made to hold much stronger animals, they 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 want to talk to the vampire, but perhaps if they did, they could gain some kind of trust... Definitely not sympathy, thats for sure, but they could build a rapport and maybe convince him to .... Well it seemed for now he wasnt going to kill them, would they be fed? Perhaps they could ask for food, but, fuck, maybe he was just going to torture them, use anything they said against them in some sick, cruel way, maybe they would only be given enough food to survive watching them wither as they slowly starved- maybe he would cut them open more, forcing them to bleed so he could fucking- 𝘵𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦 - they almost heaved at the thought-

Then- he- he would heal them over and over again forever, testing the limits until he 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮-

Wren felt a hot tear hit their arm. they hadn't even noticed that they'd started crying again-

The vampire had left, Wren didnt want to wonder where to, only that for now, he wasnt there to torment them.. They cried openly, their pathetic sobs dying in the air as their breath hitched. They tumbled forward, trying to lay down so the tears wouldnt soak their face or clothes, and continued the pitiable display.

After a minute, Wren felt a little better, being able to let out their frustrations had helped and their mind was less clouded

They took shaky breaths, attempting to regain their composure, when they heard dreaded, clomping steps coming up the stairwell.

God no....

Lazarus entered the room quietly, unlike before.

Walking over to wrens enclosure he silently placed a ceramic dish filled with what wren supposed was water right outside it.

He scrutinized the cage, his sight lingering on the shaking borrower.

He walked over to his own bed, selected a small blanket and folded it up

"...... you probably aren't in the mood for this, but I'm going to have to remove you from your.... confinement.. momentarily to make your space more comfortable"

Wren whimpered quietly, looking away from Lazarus.

The vampire took their lack of screaming as consent and opened the enclosure

He again wrapped his clawed digits around wrens shaking form, they didnt struggle this time, understanding that this was inevitable and they would probably be removed eventually for one reason or another.

Soon enough it was over and the borrower found themself on a soft plush material, and oh, oh god water.

They leaned themself over the ceramic dish, drinking in heavy gulps, god the day had been so long they hadnt realised how much moisture they had lost.

When they finished they sheepishly looked around, a bit embarrassed at the desperate display.

"Hm, I didn't realise you would need so much water..." the vampire observed, mostly talking to himself.

".... thank you..." Wren muttered quietly.

Lazarus quirked an eyebrow at them.

"For what, Dear?"

"The... water?" Wren answered

Lazarus seemed a bit taken aback

" well of course, don't want you dying on me."

Wren jolted slightly

" you d-dont?"

Lazarus chuckled

"I certainly don't think so, little one.

You did catch me in quite a percarious position, and, seeing as you are quite close to humans, I can't risk my... habits...being revealed. But still, you are quite valuable, I know many who would pay high prices for something like you, such a potent source of magic just to keep you alive...." he trailed " not that id particularly want to pawn you off right away, no, there are plenty of reasons to keep you around, Darling."

He sure does like to talk.. Wren thought. Though they were still concerned at what he meant by 'valuable', being sold to another being could be even more dangerous than this one since he didn't seem to want to kill them... wait ... magic? They weren't magical?!

"What magic??"

" Ah, right. It's in your nature, little one, you can't tap into it because it's what keeps you alive, though it's also what makes borrower blood so valuable, according to my research book here." He tapped the book resting on the table.

Wren paled hearing the mention of their blood.... God, was that what he wanted with them?! To drain them until they were a dry husk?

Their heart began to pound again..

" a-re you going t-to... " Wren gulped "take my b-blood?" They questioned shakily.

"Mmmm..." lazarus hummed in thought.

" I'm not sure just yet.... I'll have to consult a friend on that. I'm afraid you'll have to wait for that answer till tomorrow~"

That was... not the answer Wren wanted to hear.. their chest felt tight again and they winced, staring terrified up at the malicious creature before them.

Lazarus leans in closer to the cage, causing welren to stumble back on the blanket, He chuckles at them.

" You are just too precious..."

With that, he turns back to his bed, drawing the curtains closed as hints of the sunrise peek through the trees.

As Lazarus settles himself in bed, Wren shakily stands and, after a while to ensure lazarus was asleep, they undress, they wash their torn up clothes in the ceramic basin, hoping to scrub away the saliva residue, though most of it had dried.

Wren rinses their hair and uses their wet clothes to scrub their skin, not wanting to climb into the basin and topple it over. They wring out their clothes and hair the best they can into the water before laying everything out to dry.

Feeling far less disgusting, they take a corner of the plush blanket and pull it completely over themself, making a little cave to sleep in.

Feeling more secure now that they are hidden away, Wren grabs up a chunk of blanket, cuddling it close to them. They try and sleep, knowing they would need it, but their eyes refuse to close... still anxious and terrified of their undecided fate...

They squeeze the blanket mound closer to them, evening out their shaky breaths, they slowly tumble into sweet unconciousness.

#g/t #giant/tiny #giant #tiny #micro/macro #fanfic #g/t fearplay #giant tiny #giant vamp #vampire x borrower #who said he was an alastor ripoff?!?!?#ill kill u

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josephtrohman · 14 days ago

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when u get a chance: u know any joetrick fics where patrick is doing the yearning? I feel like that's a dynamic I see less and want more of

i LOVE that dynamic so bad, my preferred joetrick dynamic even, but most joetrick writers default to joe pov (and/or like...unrequited making him Suffer) </3 im definitely working on a few things right now, including something thats more longform in nature, to try and bring more of the PATRICK YEARNING instead of it all being joe cuz cmon man i need more appreciation for joe. EYE project onto patrick in my own fics why is no other bitch doing the same! ok im gonna put a break cuz i rambled even tho theres one rec here lol

combinatorics is my favorite fucking fic of all time because it's SO good in general but even more heightened by the fact that it has exactly that--the patrick yearning for joe. this is probably thee only joetrick fic that FULLY has this dynamic. like wtf im STARVING SOMEONE PLEASEEEEE WRITE MORE PATRICK YEARNING.

i mean there are certainly fics with like patrick pov, but there are three typical reasons that these dont satisfy this patrick yearning that you and i Both crave: (1) theyre an established relationship fic (so patrick is just chillin. in love maybe but chillin. i wouldnt really consider established relationship fics to have the potential for yearning in the way i want it to), (2) there’s not enough time or focus on like patrick’s inner monologue, whether because it’s a shifting pov (in a purposeful way lol) or like like patrick’s feelings are kind of chill (kind of like a “yeah it’d be cool if joe kissed me rn” but not YEARNING), or (3) patrick just actively doesn’t have feelings until something kind of happens to patrick, like joe making a move on him, etc. i double checked my bookmarks and yeah. it’s dire out here cuz it’s true.

sorry this is so rambly for no reason with ONE SINGULAR REC of this dynamic. manifest that i can get some things done over winter break ig 😔 and not that it satisfies the yearning desire but if you want i have a fic recs tag just if you’re in the market for some good joetrick in general! i also hope all of this was coherent cuz im definitely having finals brain soup lately so

#anonymous #asks

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tarnished-angelcoric · 6 months ago

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As a fellow working adult system, can I ask about what kind of job you have? We're finding it extremely difficult to agree on any kind of job and actually just turned in our 2 weeks at the current one because several alters are deeply unhappy with it. I feel like none of us can agree on what we want, especially long term career stuff. How did you find your work? Is it fulfilling enough for everyone? If someone doesn't like it, how do you manage to cope with that?

Sorry for all the questions, just been very stressful job hunting when no one likes anything and I was wondering if you had any advice/ your experience with it.

-In Calus

no thats so real. honestly, finding work,, really sucks jdbsjdbjd its definitely not easy. we're in a position where we kind of Have to work to support ourselves, theres really not any way around it. ill try and answer all of your questions in order.

so we work in retail at a mall, which is. a monster all of its own, but its what we have. we've had other jobs too: food service (dont recommend, sucks ass), food delivery (stuck with this for 2 yrs and honestly wouldve stayed longer if we hadnt moved, this one was actually pretty okay), and at an animal shelter (had to leave bc we're physically disabled also and the work put too much strain on the body, but otherwise really liked it, work was pretty solo so socializing wasnt an issue). honestly id say retail isnt an Ideal job for a system unless youre relatively under control, it can certainly go haywire. only reason we have this job is bc we had just moved and were Desperate for work, applied to a billion places and took the first one that got back to us lol. *i* personally dont mind it. we dont all share the same opinions about it, but we are mostly in agreement that you gotta do what you gotta do, yknow? this probably isnt a lifetime career for us, but itll hold us until we can find one.

our system is a little bit tricky in the fact that im the one whos fronting the majority of the time, and so for the most part, the bodys life is "my" life. almost everybody else really only fronts on occasion, and so i tend to take the lead on bodily decisions. i dont want to call it "my" life, but when it comes to things like that (especially work), thats kind of how it is yknow? and since im almost always fronting, i tend to be the one that deals with work unless its a rare occasion where im triggered enough to be pulled from front.

i wouldnt say that our job is fulfilling to everyone, i dont think? there are certainly those of us who dont like it, especially the social aspect. those parts tend to not front during work, unless something goes awry and they Need to be pulled forward – though, we've been in therapy long enough that those of us who Dont mind working can handle it okay.

its really just a thing of. we Cannot move back in with family, thats Not an option. and unfortunately, in order to Not move back in with family, we Have to work. we dont really have any other viable options. so none of us really Love our job, but we do what we have to in order to survive. n so even the parts that Hate work will do it if they have to. a lot of it just comes down to us being realistic with ourselves and knowing that we have to do things we dont like sometimes in order to make ends meet. n obviously our situation is different from some peoples in the sense that i as the host am almost always fronting and rarely leave front, so mostly everybody else doesnt have to worry too much about work because i can usually handle it.

finding a proper Lifelong Career has always been harder for us, n we tend to hop around between things quite a bit. its again a thing where its Mostly up to me, because ill be the main one dealing with it, but its still hard to come to a consensus that everyone will like. we still havent found that answer, truthfully. we liked helping at the shelter, bc it was pretty solitary work and didnt require a lot of socializing, but unfortunately it doesnt seem to be a good option with the direction our physical health is going.

i wish i could say that it was easy, i wish i could give you the magic puzzle piece to solve the problem. but for us it really is just a matter of Life Sucks But You Do What You Gotta, and that will have to do until we can find something better. i wish you guys the best of luck with finding something that works for you, and you can always talk to us if you have any questions or need anything <3

other working systems feel free to weigh in if you have anything to offer!

#post from the host #i yapped a lot i hope some of it helped a little #did system #osddid #dissociative system #dissosiative identity disorder #traumagenic system #actually traumagenic #endos dni #tags just for reach in case this helps anyone else #n other working systems can weigh in if you have anything to offer

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arsenicflame · 6 months ago

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yayy catching up on my favorite blog and there's ask game! 24 25 35

oh em geeee im ur favourite blog??? ur my favourite author!!!!!! wow (sage ily)

24. Something that you’re proud of

(you)

I tend to exist my life from sewing project to sewing project, so my mind immediately gravitates to that. while there are definitely sections on anne that fall short of my expectations, in general i really am proud of how its come out! the corset, especially. ive been sewing a long time and this is really the first time i feel like ive done something im PROUD to put my name towards. i hope i can feel that way about many more things in the future.

i think id also say im proud of the snippets ive been writing recently too. i dont know if theyre interesting to anyone else (the formatting is certainly. weird. i hesitate to associate them with fics at all) but ive been letting myself just. plot the ideas as they come. even if that means scribbling them down on the first thing i can grab at work. its felt good.

25. Do you still talk to your first crush?

i dont! my first crush turned first gf was a girl i met through DeviantArt n we did not actually keep touch for long. i hope she is well tho, that relationship was important to the trajectory of my life, even if it wasnt really a proper relationship

35. Something new

ha WELL i literally already told u about my most recent purchases (the books and even the shelf) so i feel like i should pick a different answer-

(and oh look, im looping it back around to sewing. listen its that or its the fic things i havent been doing anything bestie)

so ive been trying to actively work through the fabric i have (see: dress poll!) so ive been making plans for things i own! its been a lot of fun revisiting things i bought like, 5 years ago and seeing how my tastes have changed. ive been sketching up some new plans for things, though i must admit im determined to make myself finish up some ufos and 'practical' pieces first (looking at you, waistcoats) im also excited to get to some fun things! i have literally. 20+ projects to pick from, including a dozen or so cosplay ideas! the future is infinite

Specifically, the idea ive been excited for recently came up as a side note of dress polls. i have this green cotton duvet cover i acquired for mock up fabric, but that ive earmarked for a dress instead first (i think its a king duvet so ill probably still have half left when im done ngl) i saw this gorgeous applique dress, and it sparked my imagination!! i wouldnt want to do something exactly like that i dont think, but i have a metric ton of black cord, and i was thinking about couching it (sewing over it with a zigzag, basically) down onto the dress in an ivy (?) pattern to create the effect! i might need to twist up a couple strands of cord to get a nice thickness but i think itd be really fun. i havent done couching since i was in college, but i think its the perfect technique for something organic like ivy. this is very much a future project, but its finally a solid idea for this particular fabric! something new!

51 questions

#nyxtalks #ask #ask game #the proud one was sorta. weird to answer bc its not a feeling i have a lot of investment in personally?#i am proud of my friends when they do things. i do not feel proud of myself in general #but i will say. i think i have been a bit proud of just. me recently #it might not seem like it reading half the shit i post on here but. i think ive got a better handle on things these days #i think im managing myself better. and i am proud. of that #also on the first crush one: i think im in tune with myself enough to know it wasnt really a crush but. it felt like it at the time #also reflecting on the way i think about my 'holy shit lesbianism' moment with her was pivotal to my aro realisations #(i realised my 'thats a thing i can do??!!' attitude was not. the same way other people settled into same sex attraction.#idk how to explain it #also. whoops essay on sewing. at least im consistent

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ohleander · 8 months ago

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04.23.24

Today is the full moon and I am feeling quite a lot! I feel as though I have so much to get out but my mind is a bit clogged. I cant seem to form the words to get the flow flowin' like usual, yknow? I have a lot of lists on my mind and a lot of idle time that could be focused much better. I am good at putting task lists in front of my mind, so much so that Its hard for me to slow my roll. Its possible for me to crank up real hard and go real hard but then I need atleast a whole day of maintenance. Lists on my mind are projects that I want to do. And then I hear the little voice saying to me "you could just use the time you spend listing actually doing the thing. But so many things are next!! And I aim and aspire for a certain vibe, a certain layout, a certain and clear usage of my environment. Creating an environment that nourishes me. And then I think to myself, "I need to cultivate that on the inside as well. An inner being that nourishes me. Feeling my feelings without reacting.. feeling my feelings and taking a moment to absorb and respond. I absorb things so slowly. I am hot tempered and sometimes impermeable. I have never had good chance to just practice being mad before and I still believe I could use better outlets for anger. I know whats good for me, I need an easier time making these things happen within my routine. So many options feel "cut off" for some reason. I've moved to my bedroom for more comfort.. thats the thing about my day room, its not very comfortable! What can be done to make it more comfortable to be and work? I enjoy the cozy feel of my bedroom and feel so inspired in here. I will keep working on my dayroom and shift some things around. The chairs are certainly rough to sit on, and the excess chairs cause a lot of clutter! I suppose the next big things are gonna be... finally sell the tub.. and sell the chairs. Even 100 for each wouldnt be bad. More things on my mind.. when I started this account, I had intentions to just not censor myself and to let my words and typos flow, but since then, I've honed in on the power of words more.. and I find myself wanting to be more careful and selective. More intentional with my words and choosy with the things that I say. So this feels like the perfect time for letting go of what isnt serving me. Under the light of the full moon, I see everything, uninhibited by the cloudy haze of mercury retrograde. Its full steam ahead and I'm learning more for Taurus Season. I've been thinking about what kind of magic I feel connected to and definitely flowers, astrology, cooking, and home. These are the things that really help me feel lit up for the world. I love learning and I love sharing, but in a more intimate way than social media. I wish I could be a person online but its very hard for me to want to put myself out there. I feel like I'm still working to have a grasp on myself.. and I know that I am easily impressed. I can say that I trust myself fairly well but I know I get too excited and optimistic for my own good. I am learning the fine balance of wonder and skepticism. Sometimes I do fall under the line of suspicious. I guess a lot of life for me is just me deciphering my interpretation of the world. Well.. the world inside my head is going on at the exact same time and my goal is to line them up!! I guess I have to live with more foolish wonder than I thought. I dont know when along the line I became so serious. Its hard to shake it. Its as if theres just a touch too many responsibilities weighing one side down. Oh to feel that spark of joy and ignorance. Knowing isnt everything. Feeling is a lot of it. Being is most of it. LA

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nnnnobodyy · 11 months ago

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Filming them and posting it online is certainly excessive and questionable. One would *hope* partner in question got permission from the other and they both have a sense of humor about it, but I suppose we shouldnt give them too much benefit of the doubt. Admittedly I have not seen these videos due to my aversion of TikTok, but I have to partially disagree, personally I think it is important to showcase to other people what we (cismen's partners) have to put up with so other women know theyre not alone in having to deal with astoundingly incompetent (cis?)men.

It is sad they were failed by their parents, and its surely a testament to the vileness of the gender roles that cause people to raise incompetent (cis?)men and women who have to clean up after them. Its one thing for them to not know how to get blood stains out of clothes, generally the average cisman doesnt have to deal with blood-stained clothes as often as someone who menstruates does. Its another thing when they need help with nearly every task, no matter how minor and easy to search the internet for a solution it is.

I admit I am biased against your point OP because I just left a 5-yr relationship with what tumblr would lovingly call a "himbo." I was more fortunate than the average het couple in that he could largely cook, clean, and do laundry on his own, but his inability to do other tasks and weird disinterest in using the internet to figure out how to do it correctly really wore down on me over time. For example, at the height of my grad school tenure, I burst into tears over him struggling terribly just to fold up a sleeping bag. It was one he had gotten out and left on the floor for weeks, and when I asked him to roll it up, it became evident he did not know how to re-roll it as it had been before he got it out. And instead of watching a video online about how to do it on his PC 3 feet away or using the smartphone in his pocket, he asked me, who was already on a wire's edge and mentally exhausted from grad school, to show him how to do it. Cue the waterworks, largely due to guilt that I felt so mad and guilt at so badly wanting NOT to help him, and frustration at not knowing how to even begin to explain why I'm so upset about an issue as seemingly as minor as just a sleeping bag.

Undoubtedly you are familiar with the term "weaponized incomptence"--its not a term I would apply to this former partner, as I feel it implies a certain level of conscious choice and intention, perhaps a different way to describe his incomptence would something like "cisman incomptence privilege." I know that as a man who was raised as such in a still-very-gendered society, he likely wasnt taught how to do x, y, & z, and as a partner and someone who strives to be good I feel the responsibility to kindly teach him how to do it, but at a certain point it becomes an unfair demand of his partner's time and mental energy for them to always have to be the teacher and for him to never make more of an effort to not only learn on his own, but to actively explore to learn more about the kinds of things he has no clue about so he can learn to anticipate them.

And I imagine thats also why something as simple as not being able to clean up ketchup has these people filming their partners in a way that is definitely cruel and mocking at a surface level. Sure its sad that the dude cant clean up ketchup, but its exasperating as hell and loses its humor when you near-constantly have to teach him everything when the internet is RIGHT there. I did my best to be a patient teacher but it was a mental load that got too heavy to shoulder.

In defense of the men, there are some things you wouldnt know to look up online because you dont even know its a thing or problem that exists or needs to be done, such as cleaning out a hot water heater or how to replace a shower cartridge (hell even my engineer-fix-everything-himself dad didnt know what a shower cartridge is). But in retort to that defense, thats why taking the initative to not just learn for yourself but EXPLORE is so important. When its a problem thats plainly in front of you, it takes a certain level of self awareness to realize you might not know or be able to figure out the best way to handle this, and the internet is an easy place to consult for help. And it takes more self awareness to know there's all sorts of things out there you dont know about and therefore cant just search up online, hence the value in "exploring."

TL;DR weaponized incompetence or whatever you want to call it sucks and these mean videos bring attention to it

I can't be the only one that sees those like "watch if my boyfriend can clean up ketchup" style videos and not just get extremely sad about how much those men were failed by their parents right? And how they were then failed again by their partners later?

Like, can we stop putting the onus on these men and mocking them for not having a skill? Y'know, a skill? I thing you have to be taught.

Can you imagine your partner - someone you care about and you think cares about you - puts you in a situation where you're set up to fail, then filming you and mocking your lack of skills if you fail or jokingly praise you like you're a child if you do. Then on top of that post it on the internet for everyone - strangers, your family, your job and coworkers, potential future partners, whoever - to see and also laugh at you.

All for clout and content.

That person doesn't care about their partner. You could help them learn this skill that their parents failed to teach them, because of a patriarchal society where men are expected not only not do housework but also not know how to do housework. (Or because they're a shitty parent, that can also happen).

And like it is no one's responsibility to put in that kind of labor for someone, you are not obligated to do that.

However, if you supposedly care about someone and see they lack a skill, and you then film them, mock them, and post their unblurred face on the internet? That's kinda fucked up and you're a bad partner, honestly.

#long post #sorry op i dont mean to act like im assuming youve never dated an incompetant person or man before #this is just a raw subject for me bc any time someone is like wow that woman is a bitch for getting upset her bf cant clean up ketchup #its like. my dude the ketchup is the tiny tip of the iceberg sticking up above the water. you dont know how fucking MASSIVE that thing #might be under the surface #like why are we so quick to assume the woman/partner is the one being unreasonable here..... hmmmmm....#i put the question marks because i dont know if this is a problem lesbians or gay men or t4t people at the level that cishet couples do #yknow that are the straights alright? meme #of course theyre not alright they are largely imprisoned or willingly bound by gender roles #and clearly not as open minded or prone to exploring stepping outside them as an lgtbq couple might be #the cishets oppressive behavior extends to themselves #not that we need to sympathize with them

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bridgyrose · 8 months ago

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Ladybug, Snowfall or Fallen Petals for the bunny suit drabble (I don't know what a reverse one is)

(A reverse bunny suit basically covers everything a bunnysuit doesnt while leaving everything a bunny suit covers exposed. That said, have some snowfall)

“You want me to wear… what?” Cinder had asked in almost a half gag at what Winter had asked her to do. “I know you were put in charge of my… rehabilitation as Ruby put it, but… you cant be serious.”

Winter rolled her eyes as she held a red bunny suit in front of her. “Its just for one night and you wont be alone. I promised Weiss that I would be there to help-”

“And so now I’m supposed to wear that because of a promise you made?”

“Its for the spring festival that Vale is putting on.”

Cinder sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I dont see why I have to wear that for a festival. Its so revealing and… crude. There has to be something better to wear.”

Winter sat the bunny suit down next to Cinder. “Part of your rehabilitation is to help where its needed. And right now, Weiss needs help making sure we have enough people for the… bunny cafe… that she’s putting on. The suit is required, but she is allowing stockings for your legs to be covered as well as sleeves for your arms.”

“I dont see how this is supposed to help with any of that.” Cinder laid back and looked over at her prosthetic arm, still self conscious about the scarring that came flush with the metal along her shoulder and chest. “There has to be another way for me to be better, right? Maybe I can rescue a few cats out of trees or help someone cross the street.”

“Then dont do it for Weiss, do it for me.”

Cinder sat up. “For you?”

Winter looked away to try to hide her own blush as she cleared her throat. “Like I said, you wouldnt be the only one wearing something like this. Robyn, May, Fiona, and Coco have also volunteered along with Ren and Jaune. Besides, its supposed to be fun and you’ll only be required to be there for a couple hours.”

“That still feels like two hours too many.”

“Just… think about it for now.”

“Fine…” Cinder watched Winter leave the bedroom and shut the door before she got up and picked up the bunny suit that laid next to her. As she held it up against her, it seemed a lot more revealing than what Winter made it seem to be. Though, she had to admit, she did see the appeal of wearing one, even if it wasnt exactly her style.

She grumbled a bit as she found herself stripping down and putting the bunny suit on, her skin shivering as the cold latex pressed against her. The outfit fit a lot more snug than she expected it to, not that she didnt really expect it to be snug against her. A sigh left Cinder’s lips once she finished dressing, the scars along her legs, arms, and chest all still visible and stood out against the outfit. A cruel reminder of the life that she had lived up to this point.

Leggings and sleeves would certainly hide most of her scars, but the ones along her chest where the grimm arm had attached to her… Cinder started to strip the outfit off herself, nearly disgusted with how she looked. Every scar a reminder of what she’d been put through, the pain that she felt when Ruby purified her of that grimm that was killing her from the inside out, every scar practically engrained with the identity of the person who put it there.

“Everyone has scars, you know,” Winter said as she walked up behind her.

Cinder flinched at Winter’s voice and started to get dressed again. “But not everyone has to wear them as blatantly as I do.”

“No, but this fight has left us with our own share of issues. I have to keep wearing my brace, Ruby’s missing an eye, Weiss has scars all along her arm now, Emerald has scars along her face from when you nearly killed her… but we all choose to wear them proudly.”

“Its still different.”

Winter sighed. “Alright, then how about this: wear the bunny suit for as long as we need it and I’ll make sure your scars are hidden.”

Cinder paused as she pulled her shirt over her and looked at Winter. “And how do you plan to do that?”

“Makeup will still do wonders to hide most of your scars we cant cover.”

“Fine,” Cinder said as she finished getting dressed. “Help me cover the scars first and then I’ll decide if I agree.”

Winter pulled Cinder into a hug. “I promise, I’ll do everything I can to keep you comfortable.”

#rwby #cinder fall #winter schnee #drabbles #hurt/comfort #cinder x winter #snowfall #rwby snowfall

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valberryelixier · 2 years ago

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Pantalone headcanons

Credit to Chieu.tatami on twitter 💜💜

You and Pantalone were close, close enough to be on talking terms and occassional tea. Maybe you were wrong but you could read through him and his facade, his indifferent attitude and lust for money was but a mask. One to protect himself from things he considers unbeneficial.

But thoughts are not always true afterall, maybe these thoughts were what you wished. When you worked alongst him you started gaining feelings towards him. Of course, you knew it was impossible between him and his job something like romance would never work.

"Ms y/n, Lord Pantalone requests your presence", your assistant said. It snapped you back to reality, what were you even thinking?

You knocked on his office door, money was no problem for you but you certainly were far from equal to him in terms of moras. His office proved so, the grand entrance, a wooden door carved by the finest artist in inazuma, plated with gold and the handle made of pure gold. Not to mention the interior which was luxurious but not overwhelming. It surely showed off his wealth but it wasn't tacky, more so elegant. The intricate carvings on the ceiling and the murals on the windows were just a background that made his wooden desk shine.

His desk was neat, papers stacked accordingly and not a single thing out of place. His smile plastered on his face eternal, he stood up and greeted you, "Well, hello y/n it has certainly been a long time, how was fontaine? You certainly kept me waiting, not replying to my letters" he chuckled.

Arrogant, you thought, but you loved that about him. You stared at him, unintionally but everything about him seemed so intentional from his perfume that smelled woody and the coats he wore made of the finest materials.

"Cat got your tounge?"

Have you been staring too long? You didnt even realize. You couldnt hold this anymore, you needed to do something desperately. Your feelings were overflowing and passion burnt out from your heart. Its no lie that you love him, it wasn't just a crush it was truly love.

"Its hard to be around you when i like you and i know you dont feel the same way", you said meekly. Maybe you shouldnt have, what if it ruined everything you had. Or what if he thought of you as a fool.

"I know darling, don't mistake me for a fool, i see the way you look at me every time" he smiled, but it was a genuine one not just the cunning smile he put on display for business. He was a proud man, he thought he would never say it back so thats all he said.

"You may leave now, if thats all"

What? Was this all a game, a joke to entertain him? He was the one who called you, was this the reason? All sorts of questions rushed to your brain and you wanted to run out, anywhere but near him.

You walked towards the door slowly, hiding how hurt you felt, the fact that he barely acknowledged you and told you to go as if it meant nothing. But something stopped you, maybe he regretted it. Pantalone held your hand in a bruising grip right as you were about to touch the door handle, he stepped closer to you. Enough to feel his warm breath.

"What? You didnt think id let you go so easily wouldnt you?"

He caged you around his arms and helf your waist, he hesitated but soon lust overcame him, his lips nearing towards your own catching it into a deep passionate kiss.

"Open up", he demanded. You slowly opened your mouth to let his tounge explore your mouth. His tounge reached every corner of your mouth while his hands rubbed your hips. The kiss ended with the both of you gasping for air.

He smirked at you, his eyes full of passion still. "Lets continue this elsewhere shal we"

#genshin impact #pantalones #pantalone fluff #pantalone smut #pantalone x reader #pantalone fatui #pantalone headcanons #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact fanfics #genshin smut

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demaskblue · 2 years ago

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Lets unpack that! (anyone more informed please feel free to correct me, im still learning!)

As kindly a certain someone has suggested thats nothing but reactionary propaganda, how unbiased of you to get such a twisted opinion, i dont blame you for it as its sadly very easy to come across!

Not only that but certainly EVEN if he was it would go against everything he stood for, including the very reason why they wanted to get rid of him! Not only that but ''his'' group or cohalition/coworkers found themselves in the CPS also known as the Committee of public safety which mind you included 9, then later on 12 members which were their own people and had formed their own opinions!

Robespierre was deemed ''too soft'' and in fact was more ''moderate'' (and im using that very LIGHTLY TBH) compared to other people which were really ugh ACTUAL KILLERS (check joseph fouche for reference!)

He didnt have the power to just lift a finger and go ''haha KILL'', man was actually pretty much against violence as a concept, thanks to the way his thoughts were shaped by Rousseau and tbh he was religious. While yes he did ''support'' the killing of CERTAIN people (mostly people unwilling to surrender their power which mind you were abusing a system oppressing the poor) it wasnt anyone based on race/ethnicity/sexuality/religion, see specimen Louis XVI as an example, they not excused but EXPLAINED by a necessity of having them gone to not put the Revolution aka people lives at cost and it was a normal and supported opinion at the time!

If you were to call him such names i wonder what your reaction to more firey people such as Marat would be! Now thats someone to call insane (tbh love him for it). He couldnt have the power nor wanted to do what he was doing, but he knew that it was out of NECESSITY. Such as doing something unpleasant for the sake of everyone. Mind you, the public (while having breaks and their moments thanks to propaganda) liked the guy and tbh they needed him just as anyone else, why did they need him? He stood up for those unable to speak of themselves and had pretty based views which people needed. He did have his ups and downs like partecipating in the shut down of girls political clubs and was against women being violent (flop moment tbh, women cant have anything huh /lh + same applied to men) and cancelling his best friends paper just to save his ass instead of communicating properly, he was pretty sound and totally not the voice of insanity some ''sources'' made him to be.

Also the term genocide is used wrongly here, in the basis of what would be not knowing better but it refers to extermination of an entire group of people based on race, ethnicity, religion and more. Tbh if you were to use that against him only in the ''he partecipated the killing of people'' way id have to say its appropriate but guessing you havent gotten updated on it: youd have to consider lots of people that during that time were in fact murderers, even some of your faves.

+Genocide wouldnt be the right term to use! its way too heavy and i would have agreed if you said he partecipated in the killing of people OUT OF CONTEXT

Also i'm assuming you're using maniac in a general way as you would say ''unhinged'' ''violent'' ''insane'' and while the dude certainly had his issues... he was known for having ''lets try to minimize any violence and outrage'' agenda going on, while he did partecipate in the law of 22 prarial, which is the law drafted and proposed by Georges Couthon to basically speed up trials it didnt put them in invulnerable positions, and based on votes members of the committee themselves were able to be put on trial. Said law says that a rumor was enough to send you to trial. While it is weird and certainly a.. take to process tbh, you have to keep in mind the political and storical context to explain it. Doesnt mean its ok but remember to consider multiple points of view. HE WASNT PERFECT NOR HE WAS LIKE THE BEST PERSON OUT THERE but he certainly wasnt a dictator. You can criticise his bad takes without painting a caricature of him.

If you're interested on something more tangible than a long reblog mass of text and which goes in detail about Robespierre giving you a great portrayal of the guy i can't suggest enough ''Robespierre: A revolutionary life'' - Peter McPhee which you can check out for free

-> HERE <- - https://www.pdfdrive.com/robespierre-a-revolutionary-life-d191380141.html

Its a good and easy read, tbh a good introduction if you wanna get into french revolution, nothing against you , just that you're simply wrong and i suggest researching it before making such claims, tbh i dont blame you for having such views. Schools may be at fault for it ;P BUT you missed the entire point of the first post lmao

Made this for convenient use

#long post #maximilien robespierre #typing this tired and sick #sorry for the chaos

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dirt-eater-nomnom · 3 years ago

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Scraptrap's design (and how cool it could be)

I am going to willingly ignore how stupid afton's skeleton looks, but I do have a lot of positive ideas of what this model COULD tell us

And I may be wrong!

But I'll begin with saying that I watched the ooftroop's videos on redesigning this peanut a little bit ago and I adore them. This isn't a redesign, just an analysis, but I highly recommend those videos

Scott made a lot of design choices that I view as funky, but it's for a stylized game and it fits into ffps pretty well.

And whatever the hell remnant is doing to afton's body is pretty fucking insane (I think remnant, if expanded on, could be pretty cool, fight me), what the hell is happening with his muscles? If they are even muscles? Once you get to those feet its impossible to tell the suit apart from his body, they're completely tangled up (is this a retcon for springtrap not having the costume feet? Genuine question) and the head, how he had to use some janky metal to keep the eyes open and the head on, damn.

Also those fucking teeth, this is actually a question I have for all of the animatronics, who the hell approved these designs with these teeth? Who looked at the teeth and said "yeah these look good. Its a good idea to have this many" Like I understand that the endos and animatronics need these so they can stand seperatly as characters in these games, but really guys? For childerns entertainment?

I think these design elements, his muscles being wrapped around the costume frantically, it being held together by, well, scrap, tell us how desperate Afton is. The remnant is not letting him go, and there's fear in the way his muscles are sutering the suit. I'm not sure who's really the engineer of the pizzeria, as I think the story leans towards Emily being the one who built the animatronics, but hes spent his life around engineering concepts since he joined forces with Emily, hell, he has his own line of animatronics, but theres no method or consistency to how he's being held together within the suit. He's having to work on himself, and his work is being rushed, but clearly not by deadlines, by his own fear.

I mean, you can see it in the way his actual mouth is turned down (again, why does his skill have...lips? But I digress), he is in agony (as he should be).

Alright, but the real reason I wanted to make this was for the iconic missing arm. I have a personal headcannon that the books definitely decimate, but I can't read so they're not going to stop me.

So I think Afton is looking to get out of the suit. If he had the choice, he wouldnt be wearing rusting metal and decaying fabric that he has to keep repairing, if he could he would trade in for something much sturdier. But it may be the remnant's fault for trapping him in, he died in that old suit, and now he's forever trapped in it. The remnant keeps him alive, in any way it can, and when he almost certainly suffered crushed bones, it fuzed him into the suit that would outlive and outperform his body. Remnant clearly doesn't perfectly regenerate the human body (cough cough Michael cough cough) but it finds a way to keep the soul able to access and manipulate the physical world.

I like to think Afton had full intentions on getting out of the springlock suit after the fnaf 3 fire destroyed it (or even if it wasnt destroyed, maybe in that case he wanted out of what "killed" him). He starts with his left arm, he takes the suit off, chipping away at the metal. But, his bones are weaker than that old metal, and part of his forearm comes off too (oopsie!). And now he knows getting out of the suit and finding a new body isn't an option, not unless he's able to put himself back together like a jigsaw puzzle, which I dont think is very viable, even for a walking corpse in a rabbit suit.

And then you can extend into the idea a phantom pains, how much did it hurt to sharpen the exposed bone? If he can feel that, can he feel his lost arm too (we're already so deep into supernatural events, why not?)? Does he have any control over his missing hand (maybe thats how burntrap got his hand back)? Idk I like to think too deep into things and this is one of those things.

But just to finish this out,

Its evolving! Just...backwards...

Take note of how burntrap's connections are much more methodical and neat (and how springtrap hasnt had to mess with his body to stay together yet)

Springtrap is by far my favorite design in this series though.

-bonus

I like to think that the feet were always just a piece of metal that you could just wear like shoes. So in my head its entirely possibly that afton's feet are still intact. Feet people, do with this what you will (please for the love of god don't, this manthing has too many simps and fetishes connected to him already god I'm unleasing a beast arent i?)

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #william afton #scraptrap #fnaf ffps #fnaf 6 #freddy fazbears pizzeria simulator #springtrap #fnaf 3 #burntrap #fnaf security breach

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makiema · 4 years ago

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finally finished writing about how much stormbringer enhances the skk dynamic which was at a nascent stage in Fifteen and anticipates the developments which happen later and culminate in Dead Apple where the faith they have in each other is absolutely remarkable! the fact that i said i’d do this in a few hours yesterday but it took me like 24 hrs to finish i have an attention span of a whole 2 minutes 💀

my favorite thing about stormbringer is that it actually builds up on the concepts/themes introduced in Fifteen so it's a glimpse into what has changed in dazai and dazai & dhuuya after one year of being together. As much as it's about chuuya confronting his past and his identity this is also about dazai’s development from who he was in fifteen. chuuya and rimbaud both left their marks on dazai and in Stormbringer we see him, actually trying to emulate or follow in a sense a way of life, that chuuya and rimbaud represented. Stormbringer is not just about chuuya, abt his test of humanity, or he coming in terms with who or what he is. it's about dazai too. it's about dazai developing or at least attempting to develop what he calls “boyish”/ “ordinary” in Fifteen. its not about chuya having an identity crisis. in fact what we understand from Code 04's last section is that chuuya never considered it as his crisis and neither did dazai. so to dazai “saving chuuya is important, human or not doesn't matter” and when dazai gives chuuya time to think abt what the operation will cost him chuuya doesnt so much as flinch form his purpose. This goes on to show unlike verlaine he doesnt care about memory and certainly doesnt consider it as the only determinant of someone being human. He cares more abt yokohama and his friends and in that, in caring abt his “family”, he is just as human as the next person. whether he’s factually human or not comes secondary to his desire to save people. This is a message that the quality of being human has more to do with embodying human qualities or humanity than having memories and lineage. so yeah stormbringer is essentially about embracing humanity but this happens on 2 levels: both chuuya and dazai embrace humanity. Going back to the boyish or ordinary bit, im talking abt this segment:

here dazai is shocked because he assumed everyone “gangsta” and everyone crazy powerful delighted in homicide, in deliberately indulging in the macabre. but he is proved wrong. He logically concluded that anyone with power more than average and belonging to the underground would kill people and delight in that because it’s a given they lack any kind of moral understanding. To that end, they’d be exalted at the prospect of relentlessly shooting a dead body, mutilating it and dishonoring it. The mafia code (any general mafia code) works in a way where honor and death goes hand in hand. So only the lowest of the low would do that to a dying person, who even when faced with certain death is loyal to his own organisation. This really shows that even within the mafia dazai is the only person whos like the devil incarnate. So yeah dazai at this sate far lower than even a mafia member. But chuuya who actually embodiess the mafia code and is incredibly loyal to his organisation and “family” [ putting family in quotes bc he himself calls his friends family 🥺] ofc kicks the gun away. From dazai’s pov chuuya being as insanely powerful as he is should also do the same. But chuuya comes along and suggests that even enemies should be shown respect where it’s due. And that is what an ordinary person, oblivious to mafia life (mafia life as in waht dazai makes of it) thinks. So in undermining the binary between “ordinary” and “mafia” chuuya proves that being mafia doesnt necessarily mean selling your soul to the devil and giving up the last smidge of humanity. In fact by embodying qualities like compassion and kindness and mutual respect, you can make the mafia a better place for yourself and for the other members. Now in Stormbringer, we see how this affected dazai. here dazai is introduced as someone mercilessly killing to set up the channel.

Now to expand the channel one would need to keep doing it right? To mercilessly kill ppl and stuff but instead what he does is hand the channel over to chuuya bc he knows chuuya wouldnt handle it like him. im not suggesting that dazai miraculously becomes v good or anything with dazai the key words is “try” or “to some extent” like in Fifteen when Chuuya asks “do u wanna live” he’s like “ not to that extent”. similarly its not to say he doesnt kill people anymore. it is that he tries to lessen the number of casualties by handing over one of the most troublesome channels to chuuya who would manage it in a much more humane way. That dazai draws from his friends/at least tries to is smth we’ll see again later on when he deals with akutagawa. He talks about odasaku and ofc its baffling to him that a mafia member as powerful as him would be taking acre of orphans. and dazai says but he cant afford to be that kind and proceeds to shoot akutagswa but again does so in a calculated way such that he doesnt end up killing him ( im NOT justifying dazai’s abuse not at all im just saying that its hard to believe he coincidentally knew the exact no of bullets that aku could block. and had odasaku’s words and his way of life not been in the back of his mind he could’ve ended up killing aku) coming back to chuuya and dazai we also see him avoiding further conversation on the jewelry channel thing as he says “leave that for now”. He does a similar thing again when mori brings up the concept of double suiciding with chuuya.

Its a HUGE thing for him to digest that him suiciding would inevitably spell the doom for chuuya. this puts an unimaginable responsibility on him. And he avoids further discussion on this. Now we know dazai is the rambly type. Even in the most dire moments he goe son with his LOONG monologues so really he is the last person who’d avoid a conversation but he deliberately does it in these 2 instances because its hard for him to grasp these things. That he can go against his nature and do a conscientious thing by handing over one of the most grisly channels to chuuya (i dont think dazai’s nature is evil. Or even if it is, its a a social construct keeping in mind the war ravaged times or its mori’s construct because he does exploit dazai to the hilt. but dazai ofc thinks of himself as non-human, devious. perfectly devilish...etc.) And also the fact that someone as suicidal as him is actually responsible for the life of someone else is really too much to take in. a whole 10 seconds pause indicates just how much he was thrown off when mori opened his eyes to the reality of things: if he dies, chuuya inexorably dies as a consequence. also i dont think the “wow” here or the next bit :

is something jokey. if it was like haha double suicide with chuuya is the worst haha wanna do it w pretty lady kind of a deal. that pause would have been unnecessary. dazai’s immediate reaction would’ve been whining and shit. the use of “froze” too implies the gravity of the situation. so ofc what is “wow” is how much meaning his life has for someone else. and for some so much....better than him. and what is unacceptable is this sad, sad truth that his life (to which he ascribes no value) would be so inextricably linked with someone else’s and hold so much meaning to them. it is like when a suicidal person at the brink of suicide understanding his life is not his own. his life and death holds consequences for ppl surrounding him. so both of these are huge things to grasp and at both these times dazai is visibly shaken up so much so that he doesnt want to do his favorite thing- ramble in a condescending tone. smth he does in so many instances. this really is a testimony to the fact that things are changing in him. the redemption process has begun. he’s no longer the kind of maniac he was before he encountered chuuya. when zuko underwent his transition in atla he was so shaken up after one (1) right decision he had a fever. i think this is true for anyone who’s trying to change. change is after all a huge thing for everyone. ofc he’ll be unsettled. so anyways this is proof that he has indeed come a long way from being someone who revelled at the prospect of meaningless bloodshed.

now coming to the concept of love he assumes he’d get sick of love and die:

and that death is the singular goal worth chasing after because it makes you feel more alive/get a fuller picture of what living entails. but here he is erring by supposing love is something that’ll bore him/have no meaning. and it cant provide him that “something” he’s looking for. at this point he hasn’t loved so he doesnt know whether he’ll be sick of it or if it'll have no impact. And yet he’s morose and regretful. this is a kind of self-imposed constraint hes putting on himself. he cancels out the v idea of love because hes convinced it isnt worth it. he hasnt even been in love okay scratch being in love that sounds romantic and i really dont mean love in a romantic sense here...its just love. in general. any form is cool. anyway so dazai is not familiar with any kind of love. He is entirely alien to the concept. he doesnt even know what a friend/partner is so he doesnt know what love is. this is cleared out here when rimbaud confesses he did everything for paul and dazai is unconvinced:

chuuya ofc admonishes him and shuts him up for good, he says dazai has no right lookind down upon smth he doesnt understand. he doesnt understand friendship, love. or loyalty. or how important those feelings are at this point. now this situation is turned on its head in stormbringer. but before we go into that let’s look at the message rimbaud had for both of them. ik he specifically asks for chuuya to “live” but there’s purpose behind including both of them in the frame. it’s a message they should both take to heart. and at the end of it its implied both are changed after hearing it:

and in this message the first bit is for chuuya. what he says is basically memory doesn’t make u human... ”you are you” just a frame or not doesnt matter. and even if hes just a frame, he is still beautiful. beauty actually is a v important concept in literature starting right from Plato to Shakespeare. i’d not bring this here but because bsd is so deeply rooted in literature i feel like the reference to beauty, and later on to soul and even warmth and also the universal tone of this message carries some meaning. so the thing is both Plato and Shakespeare were endorsed the idea of love as a force awakened in the world by beauty which then leads the soul to perfection. so humans and by extension, all life are beautiful frames that can inspire love. this concept is also there in Romantic poetry like Keats and Wordsworth all of them talked about loving beauty in nature and how that can elevate the body mind and soul. so essentially in telling this to chuuya what ehe basically means is that chuuya just by being him, by being a beautiful framework can inspire love and warmth in others and thats a great purpose! how much chuuya understands of this purpose with his one (1) braincell and his low self esteem is questionable but he gets some sense of belonging. now this is a two way relationship so ofc dazai has to be factored in. he comes in the next part:

these are from 2 different translation so the disparity im sorry ;-; but anyway, this last part abt the world being a cold place. then paul. then “warmth” is a message to dazai who’s been introduced to us as cold-hearted and having like no bearings of a human being. this is the reason why its important for both o f them to be there. now going back to chuuya being a beautiful framework, the framework can be beautiful in so far as its beauty is appreciate by someone and inspires warmth and love in someone. this again is the whole beauty/beholder nature/the romantic concept that is there in shakespeare and in Romantic poetry where both are a part of a codependent relationship. so what rimbaud implies here is that dazai can have that kind of a relationship with another person (chuuya) just like rimbaud had with paul which makes him warm and the world doesnt feel cold anymore. rimbaud has no regrets about what he did because. so the idea is that dazai and chuuya can share the same dynamic. also after this, the narrative says that their hearts are now changed and wont return to what they were before....and even their souls are refined in a way. but in Fifteen we dont have a concrete proof of how this happened bc the novel ends at this point. Instead, Stormbringer shows exactly how deep the impact of those words is:

this is the third instance of dazai showing hesitation and once again this has to do with chuuya. the seed of the dynamic that rimbaud was talking about is already germinating in him. his reactions, his fidgeting, his hesitancy, in response to chuuya’s situation is such a big contrast to his cocksure self when he’s conversing with adam and verlaine. after this of course we have:

not only does he clearly express his concern but he gives chuuya 2 whole mins to make a decision and based on that he’s prepared to overturn the operation. the success rate of an alternative plan will ofc be lesser than the og one but that doesnt faze dazai. he’s ready to turn the tide for chuuya’s sake and if this is not development idk what is. just a year ago, he was someone to whom the concept of rimbaud going thru all that trouble for his friend was a lost concept. ironically enough, now he finds himself doing something that is along the same lines. he puts chuuya above his mission. to him, chuuya is more important than getting a satisfactory result. another bit that i wanna talk abt is that one controversial section where dazai says he’ll save chuuya, human or not, and then the justification is:

i think a lot of people got mad bc of this and honestly at first glance i was peeved too. as a chuuya stan some of the shit dazai has done so far did rub me the wrong way. i love skk obv but still those were moments that kind of left a bad taste in the mouth. i’ll discuss them later on bc stormbringer helps allay that feeling. coming back to the “i wanna see chuuya suffer” part firstly context is important. ofc someone like dazai cant be expected to be upfront about his feelings with ppl (or AI) he barely knows. so what be relays to adam, is only partly true and its actually a kind of a twist in concept. the things is, and this is smth dazai knows all too well is that ppl suffer simply on account of being human. human suffering is brought on because humans, by virtue of being humans, feel. so when he says he’s willing to acknowledge chuuya as human despite what N and Verlaine said he’s already admitting that chuuya suffers. so there is really nothing “new” to see for him. he knows chuuya suffers already and he does too because they’re both humans trying to make it thru their messed up lives. also chuuya “ceasing to be human” is a p huge concern for him bc he himself is like that. just like with the suicide thing, it bothers dazai when someone else shares his situation/his fate like as long as his life is his own, he has no problem ending it whenever but the situation is complicated when someone else’s life span is determined by that decision. and similarly, as long as he is “no longer human” its not that much of an issue because he’s like resigned to a doomed fate but someone like chuuya ceasing to be human or worse yet never getting to know if hes human or not are pressing matters. so anyways what he actually means here is that in saving chuuya, he saves someone who suffers just like he does and in their case, even the cause of suffering boils down to a shared psychological conflict: what essentially constitutes being human and if im human or not. now this sharing of pain and suffering is the foundation of forming a connection with someone, which makes life a little better. here again, what rimaud imparted to dazai and chuuya is driven home. also dazai’s key anxiety is not finding meaning/anything. this “anything” can be assumed to be something that justifies life. so all his anxiety and frustration stems from the fact that there really is no discernible meaning to be found in the mechanism of life. so it is an empty pursuit because it is true that nothing can explain why feelings of pain and suffering are exponentially heavier than feelings of happiness or why after getting to experience one (1) free day we’re back to square one where life is grueling. these are questions that really dont have an answer so every time dazai like gazes into the abyss and says he didnt find anything, he is not so much asking if he’ll ever find anything as swallowing the hard truth that there is nothing to be found, no singular entity exists that can magically justify everything. again drawing upon literature or philosophy more specifically, there’s a concept called Absurdism which says the only philosophical truth so to say is this that life is absurd and looking for meaning is futile. instead what we can do is accept that it is absurd and deal with it in the best way possible, by finding little sources and moments of happiness, and strewing them together so we feel somewhat content. even if it is just for a fleeting second. and this happiness/contentment amidst a wretched life (altho temporal) can be found in friendship, in sharing, and even in having fun with people you’re comfortable with! this is actually why dazai wants to save chuuya and now it may seem like im interpreting his words through the shipping lens but thats not so and it can be corroborated by looking into dazai’s words to odasaku. after chuuya, dazai’s next attempt at friendship was odasaku who he found “interesting”. now when odasaku sort of like threw hands and chose death over having to live a life without the orphans, dazai tried to stop him not by saying stuff like life is good. and things will def change for the better. but instead he admits that living is hard and the sense of void is ubiquitous and yet he doesnt want him to up and die because then he would be sad. because the little comfort that he got from odasaku and something he probably assumed odasaku also got from him would be gone. [how much odasaku considered dazai a source of comfort remains unclear. in fact the reason odasaku gave up and died was because he did not have this. this feeling of sharing in someone else’s suffering and seeking comfort in friends in the real world. instead he was too vested in his ideal world. his over reliance on an entirely idealistic concept is actually what pushed him over the edge. and this would have been the case for dazai too had he not encountered and sought comfort and companionship in chuuya and eventually in odasaku ] so this again goes on to show how rimbaud’s words changed dazai’s heart. and in a way dazai really has been doing this unconsciously form the v beginning like by teasing chuuya continually in Fifteen. you dont expect someone as cold as him to indulge in friendly bickering and taunting so often but he does. that there is significance and even happiness in that is something he learns over time, after rimbaud’s words to him. although these things seem futile on the surface they give a moment’s respite. so although chuuya spinning dazai on a rope in stormbringer might seem weird to everyone, they still serve a purpose:

what shirase puts forward is particularly relevant here because neither dazai nor chuuya is fully aware of the extent of their feelings (or even what those feelings are like they dont know what label to put. so typical oblivious lovers) for each other or what they stand to gain just by driving each other nuts but there is something intangible but satisfying to be felt. a kind of contentment that helps him continue. one day at a time. there is no one great “thing” that can make him like wake up one day feeling like he doesnt want to die ever again. but again like i said before, the key word for dazai is “extent” so, these little things to some extent contribute to a sense of fulfilment which helps him keep death at bay. thats why he’s bent on saving chuuya bc he knows they can share in their suffering and make life better for each other. its not like he wants chuuya to suffer. chuuya will suffer nonetheless like every other human. but in suffering together there is something to be found so he doesnt want him to cease being human.

this covers more or less the intertextuality between Stormbringer and Fifteen. i just wanna talk a bit more about a couple other moments in Stormbringer that i feel are p important because they put some things in the series in perspective and also made the dead apple moment 10x more emotional 🥺 one thing that really strikes me is the absolute fanon level of comfort that dazai and chuuya share in Strombringer. its like scenes form k-drama lol.

so yeah this stuff. compare this with dazai’s reaction @atsushi when he drops im not saying that its not just a joke and that what im saying should be the right way to look at this contrast. its not like that at all. but what this does is give an estimate to the readers just how close and comfortable dazai feels when its chuuya. and this plus everything i rambling on abt for so long also gives us an estimate about the sincerity of dazais feelings. now 2 things always bothered me : the fact that dazai actually left chuuya and the fact that after the fight against lovecraft he actualy deserted him (this again can ofc be construed as just a humorous bit but still it did leave a bad taste in my mouth) dazai leaving the mafia is ofc something he had to do to fulfil oda’s dying wish but it still dint sit right with me that he would abandon chuuya. just like oda levaing is harder on dazai, dazai leaving is harder on chuuya. its always harder on the one left behind. so anyway, these sorts of things sometimes made me doubt dazai’s feelings but now that stormbringer clears it all up i do think there is a larger motif at work here. when mori offers dazai to come back to the mafia in s2 we see him saying that it was mori who kicked him out and that he did so because he was afraid dazai would usurp his position. so he set it up in a way that dazai would be forced to leave but on his own accord. now more than usurpation i believe what mori really did fear is that dazai had no allegiance to the mafia (which is actually true) bc he doesnt have that sense of loyalty and that to him his friends were more important than swearing allegiance to mori. (which again is true). so by getting oda killed, the message that mori seemed to be giving out was if dazai didnt leave he would do it again. and if we consider ango’s betrayal which had already transpired at that point, the one mori would next target to sort of get at dazai would inevitably be chuuya. this is only conjecture but still, i do believe this might as well be true because then it would explain why dazai didnt carry chuuya back to the base after their fight [something he was v comfortable doing in Stormbringer. in fact in the first case he carries chuuya back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so he could hear albatross’ last words 🥺] its because mori needs to know unlike dazai, chuuya is absolutely loyal to him which regrettably he is. it kinda becomes imperative therefore on part of dazai to make it seem that way to mori. that they really are at each others throats and that dazai is insignificant to chuuya. and that the mafia comes before dazai. (which is not true bc we see chuuya protecting his friend [shirase] while also staying loyal to the mafia in Stormbringer)

mori also in his own way tries to provoke hostility b/w them like in Dead Dpple when he was all like yeah so dazai is the star and chuuya is merely bait. so it kinda makes sense if dazai left the mafia not only to like do good work but also to protect chuuya from mori. also the fact that chuuya did the same thing— left the Sheep and joined PM to protect Shirase from the mafia makes be believe that my speculation is plausible given all the parallels we find between dazai and chuuya.

and the last bit is about the brilliant Dead Apple scene and how much added context it gets in light of Stormbringer.

in this scene dazai first says: “you used Corruption believing in me?” and then the translation is “how beautiful” which is an okay translation but the exact thing dazai said was “nakasetekurerune” which literally is : youre gonna make me cry you know? now my knowledge of japanese is like duolingo level but i do know “nakasete” has to do with crying and “kureru” is used by the receiver to indicate he’s receiving a feeling/object from someone close. so basically chuuya trusting him is something so beautiful that it could almost move him to tears. now lets look at dazai’s intro in Stormbringer:

dazai, being dazai, ofc would be able to tell genuine trust from fealty out of fear so ofc the fact that chuuya has this kind of blind faith in him is overwhelming for him. also stormbringer really expands on the sight effects of Corruption in full detail. its so PAINFUL and to think that chuuya would jump into it right away for dazai’s sake.....no wonder he is so soft when deactivating him. and then he proceeds to flirt for a little bit with the Snow White and the kiss of life reference. but this flirting doesnt seem even a little out of place now. it doesn't feel like smth meaningless or smth that dazai is just saying as a joke. that there is absoluetly no subtext to making a statement like that. instead that kind of flirting feels like smth inspired from a deep, deep familiarity with someone who really shares his heart and soul. when he talks to chuuya abt the problem of not knowing whether he is human or not, it is a problem that is as central to him as it’s to chuuya. not feeling fully reconciled to a human identity is a problem thats fundamental to both of them. I don’t think familiarity gets any deeper than this where you share the exact same psychological problem. so its really wonderful how we can trace the skk development now: what starts out as a crush on part of dazai or not a crush exactly rather, a feeling of perplexed admiration because chuuya is breathtakingly beautiful inside out, eventually gain all these layers and develops into something meaningful where they have so much faith in each other and where they literally help each other live. knowing someone out there shares your exact issue so you’re really not alone in this is perhaps the greatest comfort in the world. also now its clear how both of them would have turned out had they not met each other and had they not taken in rimbaud’s advice. chuuya in his desire to learn about himself and frustration at not being able to do the same would have perhaps spiralled downward and ended up becoming like verlaine. he is his double here after all. and had dazai not seen chuuya up close being the wonderful person he is, he too would have probably ended up developing a god complex and becoming like fyodor. dazai is there to save chuuya literally from dying a monster and chuuya is there to remind him he too can try and mend his ways and embrace his human side. after all chuuya has so much trust him in! (despite him having questionable methods) for both of them, it starts out as an attempt to be more human, then establishing a fruitful partnership, and finally coming in terms with their feelings to some extent. for dazai, he’s comfortable enough to engage in occasional flirting at this point and for chuuya it’s playing along with dazai’s antics (well with the ones he get 💀 pretty boy has half a functional braincell) and openly showing his concern for him. so really by confirming their feelings what strombringer does is enhance the skk development in a way that Dead Apple doesnt seem like fan service anymore. the fact that dazai would casually flirt or be comfortable with chuuya landing on his crotch 💀 all that isnt as ridiculous as it first seemed because stormbringer lays the groundwork and anticipates all the intimate/flirty skk moments that have happened till now and ig will happen again soon.

#bsd #stormbringer #soukoku #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #bungou stray dogs #stormbringer spoilers #bsd meta #bsd analysis

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