#give me characters who you can understand why they did that even if it was awful
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ASK COMPILATION: Boomer Drow, Scratch, Mouthwashing, Cats and musical opinions.
A more casual compilation this time as I desperately try to make some room in my inbox. I went back so far I found lore questions and art prompts that I really liked but had completely forgotten about... That's why it's a mess in there LOL I will hopefully get to those soon!
Hi! Thank you! I still dream about smoking almost every night and had a couple during the new year but I'm hanging in there :')
Very loose and mostly as a bit. It might be something that I explore more in the future, but as of right now their "canon" setting is far, far more interesting to me!
...That's brutal and highly accurate đ
[MORE UNDER THE CUT]
I'm not gonna lie, when I started posting I got, uh, a lot of responses like this to my art. About how I drew people "ugly" and frightening and even though it MOSTLY was meant as a compliment, it got kinda... Overwhelming đ
It definitely led me to do a 180 for a while and re-access how I wanted to draw people. I love drawing flaws but I think that comes from not really seeing them as flaws, so the amount of folks AGGRESSIVELY harping on it did eventually get to me a little bit.
I think I've since found a pretty good balance between simple, pretty and "flawed" that I enjoy, though. So, thank you! I do take your message as a compliment and I'm glad you enjoy him.
DU drow was my first run! I have since played with a different character called Izzantar who was my first non-urge campaign though.
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... I didn't find scratch in the DU drow run. Sorry anon LOL
Now you see, this is the legacy I want to leave behind.
(thanks for making Astarion feel included)
I was the one who recommended it to him and I really liked it! I've always DREAMED of a game that actually and unapologetically put you in the shoes of a shitty person and took you through the complex reasons why they are the way that they are without justifying their actions. And I adore the way the secondary character undeniably had a hand in the tragedy that unfolded despite his good intentions. The game sincerely explored the types of flawed characters I rarely ever see explored and I can only give it my sincerest kudos to it.
I've been considering playing Origins on stream after MANY recommendations, actually!
I would suggest examining and referencing off athletes and gymnasts videos for practice while trying to garner a more in-depth understanding of musculature by crossreferencing that stuff with dry, medical anatomy diagrams. I have a few more in-depth examples and advice in my #tutorial and #advice tags!
DU drow would really like Frida. Jarboe would constantly disappoint him by being the very dumb animal that she is.
I think Astarion would like both of them but complain endlessly about how much attention they demand and how up in his business they'd want to be - I have a feeling he likes street cats, which none of my cats are (Frida has a little street-smarts remaining but has been thoroughly spoiled by now. Jarboe was a hoarder cat before I adopted her and is extremely sociable and un-cat-like because of it.)
I DM'd a single Call of Cthulhu session in my teens and only recently participated in my first ever DnD game in a discord event! That's about it.
This is for the over-attentive ANE readers but Brutus is a Dalyria song for me âşď¸
He'd like Jazz A LOT.
But I think he'd be more of a root-punk/post-rock guy, not really into synth. And then a lot of the classics like Elvis, Nina Simone, Marley, etc.
Also Foetus and GG allin for whatever reason.
3 for Astarion, 5 for Shadowheart. Jaheira would never but she could get away with 8.
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obsessed with the batfam and skyrim, so hereâs who theyâd play as and how that would go:
bruce â imperial bruce is 100% picking imperial. heâs got some elaborate backstory about being a noble general or strategist trying to bring balance to skyrim. the civil war questline? yeah, heâs leading the imperials to victory. also, heâs spending way too much time perfecting his alchemy and enchanting. his playthrough is methodical, overthought, and probably takes six real-world months.
dick â wood elf (bosmer) dickâs going bosmer because he loves sneaking through forests, sniping enemies with a bow, and avoiding heavy armorâbut heâs also leaning into being a bard. heâs probably charming every npc he meets, playing instruments, and giving his dragonborn a whole backstory as a traveling storyteller. heâs siding with the stormcloaks, not for any deep reason, but because he likes the blue costume. also, you know heâs adopting every random npc follower he finds and pretending theyâre part of his merry band.
jason â orc jason's going orc because he thinks they look the coolest and because he knows orc is the most overpowered race to play as. with two-handed weapons, heavy armor, and berserker rage, heâs unstoppable. his approach? smash first, ask questions never. heâs storming into bandit hideouts, wiping everyone out, and looting like a maniac. also, heâs destroying the dark brotherhood instead of joining it, just because he can.
cass â khajiit cass picks khajiit for stealth perks and becomes a sneaky assassin queen. sheâs all daggers and silent takedowns, probably speedrunning the dark brotherhood questline without getting caught once. she skips dialogue, avoids side quests, and somehow finishes the main quest in record time.
tim â high elf (altmer) timâs not just playing skyrimâheâs modding it to make it even harder. master difficulty, absurd enchantments, and hours spent in menus. heâs doing every quest, collecting every book, and building a lore-perfect house in solitude. his playthrough is less of a game and more of a research project.
damian â imperial damian picks imperial like bruce because he idolizes his dad but would never admit it. heâs siding with the imperials because "ulfric is an incompetent brute" and would lecture everyone about how their character builds are inferior. unlike bruce, though, heâs dual-wielding swords and charging headfirst into everything. also, heâs doing every daedric quest because power = perfection.
how theyâd play:
jason: so i killed the jarl of whiterun because i was bored. bruce: what? why? jason: he called me a milk-drinker. not letting that slide. tim: you just broke your entire game. you canât progress now. jason: whatever, iâll just join the dark brotherhood and kill everyone else too. cass: jarl balgruuf doesnât even say âmilk-drinker.â jason: i modded the game so he did. i wanted a reason.
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tim: if i side with the imperials, am i enabling systemic oppression? but if i side with the stormcloaks, iâm supporting racism. thereâs no winning. dick: tim, itâs a game. just pick one. tim: no, i need to read every book in skyrim first to understand the full context. bruce: [nods approvingly.] jason: or you could just shout people off cliffs. thatâs what i do. tim: thatâs morally irresponsible. cass: i like fus ro dah. tim: not helping.
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damian: why are you wasting points on archery, grayson? itâs inefficient. dick: because itâs fun? damian: this isnât about fun. itâs about building the optimal dragonborn. youâve already failed. jason: says the guy who ran face-first into a dragon and died five times. damian: that was a tactical experiment. tim: no, you refused to use potions because you said they were âbeneath you.â damian: father agrees. right, father? bruce: âŚi always carry potions. damian: [offended silence.]
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cass: done. bruce: what? cass: main quest. finished. tim: you started two hours ago. cass: skip dialogue. sneak everywhere. no distractions.
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jason: ugh, i accidentally fus-ro-dahâd a chicken again, now the entire town is trying to kill me. tim: why do you keep doing that? jason: itâs instinct at this point. cass: sneak past guards. jason: why sneak when i can punch my way out? (ten minutes later, jasonâs running naked through whiterun because he refused to pay his bounty.)
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damian: dick, why are you using an orcish bow when you have access to elven weapons? dick: because it looks cooler? damian: youâre an embarrassment to this game. jason: you know heâs got, like, 3000 pieces of cheese in his inventory, right? damian: excuse me? dick: cheese heals health. donât knock my tactics.
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dick: this is my new best friend, sven. damian: that bard in riverwood? heâs useless. dick: heâs got dreams, damian. iâm helping him live them. (later, sven dies in a dragon attack, and dick spends real-world hours reloading saves to keep him alive.)
#batfam#batfamily#tim drake#incorrect quotes#dcu#batfamily headcanons#dc#batman#dick grayson#jason todd#the batfamily#batkids#bruce wayne#good dad bruce wayne#damian wayne#damian al ghul#cassandra cain#batfam as skyrim characters#skyrim batfam au#omg i actually need to touch grass#if you are a skyrim fan please be my moot i beg đđ#the elder scrolls skyrim#skyrim#tes skyrim#the elder scrolls#elder scrolls#so many tags#watch like 7 people see this#someone tell me to write more of these so i have an excuse#dick would so go stormcloak just because they r blue
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this, YES. i was so upset, like i actually gasped out loud. because, well, long story short i've never been team Adam for J, BUT as the first born child especially i understood Adam and where he was coming from SO. WELL, and i didn't like how much he was sidelined in shatter me series, or how much people hate him stil?? (literally, you all could never do half of the stuff Adam has done for James, and you're still mad about one slip, one harsh outburst he had with Juliette? give me a break) THAT was long story short, i was HOPING the spinoff series would show THREE brothers bonding and developing a relationship with one another now that their asshole of a father is gone and I just.. it was only a sneak peek so i still have lots of hope, i love Tahereh, i love these characters, i love this series. But just thinking about James LEAVING ADAM to live with Warnette?? how did that look like? How often was he seeing Adam?
THIS PART HERE:
"Allow me to quote Fracture me for you:
âJames, to me, in many ways, feels like my own kid. I raised him. Took care of him. Protected him. Fed him and clothed him. Taught him most everything he knows. Heâs my only hope in all this devastation â The only thing Iâve always lived for, always fought for. Iâd be lost without him.
James gives my life purpose.â "
I don't know how i feel now, uncertain and doubtful, that's for sure, but i won't say anything more because YEAH the whole book is not out and i still have hope. BECAUSE yes Adam might want a quiet life suuurreee, but no James in his life? No relationship with ANOTHER brother he learned he has? That is NOT Adam Kent, and you can hate him, don't like him, don't give a fuck about him or do not understand him frankly doesn't matter how you feel about him, if you love the series YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS. And James? Where is my little Jamie who LOVED Adam more than anything? The VERY FIRST pages we got from Watch me(James' POv) made me think he was a mix of Kenji/Adam/Juliette, and Warner with having the least from Warner's personality which made me GLAD, and now i wonder how DEEPLY having Warner around affected my sweet baby who is not a child anymore because WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOUR OLDER BROTHER WAS NEVER AROUND TO TAKE CARE OF YOU?? he is the reason you are ALIVE. HE raised you. Warner didn't even want you at first, seeing you as a problem and connection to his trauma/father. (love Warner but having so many people around him being like THERE'S THE PERFECT GUY which he never was and never will be is making me so mad. HENCE why i love Kenji, my number 1 beloved sm series babe, because he was always telling it like it is with Warner)
it turned out longer than i meant lol. I APPRECIATE YOU!! and was so glad to see someone else feeling their feelings(not good necessarily) because seeing ppl being like "oh i'm sad for Adam but actually i don't give a damn about him Warner being a father so awesome" is INFURIATING to see, and it's beautiful to see someone else who seems well SANE about this.
i hope i won't be dissapointed when the book is out and actually get THREE brothers dynamic. Plus Kenji. Let's add him to anything because that's how i love it.
edit;
(those fro Instagram give me MORE hope)
The newest Watch me sneak peek - RANT
(If you're excited that Juliette and Warner got to have James as their first child: I'm happy for you, but don't read this post. Because I'm a Debbie downer.)
Could someone wake me up? I donât like whatever fever dream this is.
What do you mean James, the ten-year-old (or, eleven now, apparently), walked up to Warner and asked him to adopt him? What do you mean âThe man practically raised meâ ?! What do you mean Juliette and Warner âtook him inâ?!
âThis man practically raised me.â NO, JAMES, ADAM DID. â You ungrateful little-- and Adam did everything in his power to keep James safe.
He hid James from Anderson.
He lied about his age to join the military to take care of James.
He refused to let James join the fighting because he was, you know, a child.
He kicks out Juliette, to make sure Jamesâ safety isnât risked.
In the second trilogy he chooses to try being pardoned by the RE, to keep James safe.
He let the RE use his powers, to keep James safe.
âJuliette and Warner took me into their home without hesitation.â
They whaatttt
Okay, let me just start with how inconvenient that would be.
We all know that Juliette was trash garbage at ruling North America in Restore me. Two months later, in Believe me, she undoubtedly still is trash garbage. + She has a whole ass house she wants to renovate now apparently. And you're telling me you want to add a ten-year-old into the mix?
James thinks Adam was barely around to look after him. Well, I have news for you, kid, your new parents are either going to be busy a) trying to rule the world, b) having sex around the clock because if the state of the world peace didnât bother them before, a child sure as hell isnât. (My expectations of them as parents are so low.)
Second, have they no regard at all for Adam?
This thing that Mafi has made James, Warner and Juliette do, would literally break Adam.
Allow me to quote Fracture me for you:
âJames, to me, in many ways, feels like my own kid. I raised him. Took care of him. Protected him. Fed him and clothed him. Taught him most everything he knows. Heâs my only hope in all this devastation â The only thing Iâve always lived for, always fought for. Iâd be lost without him.
James gives my life purpose.â
And James has the f*cking nerve to say that Adam was barely around ahajhkdjviduvnlav WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS, JAMES?! He was working to pay the bills, JAMES.
The nerve of all these people, I swear.
I actually wanted to buy the book on release day for old timeâs sake, but now Iâm not so sure. Â
Welp, at least I have an answer to how James learned how to fight though. Adam had no say in it at all, because I guess eleven-year-olds are allowed to just transfer guardianship. Â
@effei-s Girl, you and I would have a field day picking this apart.
#shatter me series#aaron warner#adam kent#james kent anderson#watch me#shatter me new republic#tahereh mafi#warnette#aaron warner anderson#kenji kishimoto#james anderson#watch me spoilers#tahereh mafi watch me#watch me tahereh mafi#shatter me the new republic#shatter me#james kent#juliette ferrars
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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If you want to be bothered. Maybe this for dick and Bruce???
i ALWAYS want to be bothered these are always the highlight of my day tbh you're a delight for letting me just yap <3
Dick. For the canon isn't real square I am Specifically talking about the Tom Taylor Nightwing run. Usually I ignore bad runs but given this one is ongoing (though about to end THANK GOD and get replaced by Dan Watters who i have high hopes for since i adored his Sword of Azrael (2022) run but i digress) so I counted it. Especially since it's so debated if that run is bad or not, for some reason. I'm a 90s Nightwing truther. I love Dick so dearly and tbh recently I've been more enamored with him the more I read his Discowing era, I didn't used to be as big of a Dick stan as I am these days.
Bruce. Honestly where do you even start with Bruce. I want to fist fight him and also patch him up. He got me into comics and superheroes as a whole but I roll my eyes whenever he shows up in a story. He's a bastard and usually not a good father but also complex and should be dissected under a magnifying glass. I love him dearly. He's also just the worst. I think that's why I love him. I'm always a fan of unabashedly Complicated Asshole Bruce who's generally not always the best person, particularly not to the Batfamily and that being the driving force of his relationships with them, especially in shipping.
And for bonus points, Tim. Because know above all else, I'm a Tim Drake kinnie /deg. He's been my number one for a decade and I've yet to uproot him from my brain. He's literally the Worst half the time and I love him for it. And the canon isn't real refers to Tim Drake: Robin because... that sure was a comic. And that's about all I can say about it. Pre-Flashpoint Tim I miss you so dearly. I think it's fun that I want to put him in a blender and drink the juice but also want Nothing Ever to happen to him.
#necrotic answerings#batcest#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#fandom tag#anyway the fandom is i guess mean to all of them#but like it's deserving.#everytime i meet a tim anti i'm like you're SO right. he's the worst. pls hate his ass more.#same with bruce. like never met a bruce anti who didn't have endless receipts for hating his ass.#(except for those using the shallow 'he's a billionaire beating up the mentally ill' argument which. i ignore)#(bc why are you. consuming superhero content if you just don't like or understand the genre. it's lazy pseudointellectual nonsense.)#and i don't think ppl are truly mean to dick. i think they just don't understand him.#which extends to the entire batfamily bc well. the state of the fandom and all.#like âeveryone else is wrong about themâ isn't in a âno one gets them but meâ way#(except about tim truly no one gets him but me /j)#it's in a âoh y'all just want to fit them into neat boxes don't youâ way#one more person call dick grayson âeldest daughter coreâ and i'm going to your house and eating the stuffing out all of your pillows.#first of all can we stop calling male characters âfemale codedâ in any way please#women exist in comics too.#second of all it's just not true? and it's not the complex he has with bruce nor his âsiblingsâ if you wish to call them that#and then bruce. where do you even start.#you dare say you think it's in character for bruce to hit his kids and *SOCIETY. society goes wild.*#like ofc it has to be in specific contexts. he's not just swinging.#and sometimes it *is* written very OOC bc bruce is written as a machismo self insert i give you that#but yeah a soldier who views his children as soldiers and has zero healthy emotional regulation or communication skills#is gonna sometimes swing in his worst moments. it is just how the superhero genre works everyone is gonna fist fight to solve problems.#why are you reading comics about ppl who hit other ppl for a living if you don't like it when they hit ppl.#also random hot take about dick's characterization#the young justice tv show did incredible damage to ppl's perception of him and i dislike the take it's the best adaptation of him
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As a certified Springtrap simp, which backstory for William do you prefer: one where he was a good dad driven mad maybe by jealousy or the loss of his youngest child, or one where he was always an abusive narcisist that cared for nobody but himself?
i feel like the, "im evil so i must also abuse my creations and/or children" has been really overdone. like idk im just tired of seeing it personally. and the whole "haha!!! im craaaazy!!" thing we get in the comics also rubs me the wrong way b/c. thats not. how he's portrayed in the games at all. esp hearing him in sister location he feels like he would be a calm sort of madness. he seems like a rational guy. he doesnt talk like that. he doesnt act like that. it seems really contradictory
i feel like him being a good dad (or at the least caring deeply for his children) gives him more urgency and like,,,,makes sense w/what we're given. it aligns the most w/the theories we have asta why he started killing etc. i also just enjoy the tragedy of it. he started out as a good guy w/good intentions and then was twisted inta something unrecognizable b/c he was so focused on tryin ta reach his goal. personally my hc is that he was jelly of henry and then the death of crying child tipped him over the edge and started his whole killing thing. imo its better than, "hee hoo i was evil FOREVER!! im PURE evil and have always been EVIL!!!" like. okay. wheres the subsistence?? give him depth dammit
why would he build a robot for his daughter if he didnt love her. why would he tell crying child he would put him back together if he didnt love him (not really cemented as something he said, but i mean who else would say it?? certainly not michael he was a boy. i think as a fandom we assume its heavily implied). it makes the afton kid's deaths so much more impactful. the prospect of this man losing pieces of his life bit by bit and being driven insane by it is enthralling
i love a good chaotic descent. i love thinking abt him being consumed w/a need ta revive his own son becoming obsessed w/life and death as a result. oh the irony of loving your own kid so much you would take others children away from them, knowing how losing your own felt. and the twisting of emotions as he sees his son michael someone who he would've died for, try ta stop him. b/c hes not understanding, they need ta b together again. thats all hes tryin ta do. get his family back tagether. and all these fucking obstacles are in the way of his only goal. and the manifestation of hatred of his own son b/c of this. b/c hes getting in his way. like, talk abt juicy. i want that man ruined. it just adds a layer of psychological torture that i just adore. william fucking ruined everything. he ruined his own happy family, he ruined his own life, and if he actually mourns that? chefs kiss.
my thought is, why even have him have a family in the first place if they're just there ta demonstrate he's evil? seeing the afton family purely as a plot device, we already know afton killed kids. one can assume a person who kills kids is a bad person (maybe? see this is where the juiciness comes in w/him caring for his children. is it really bad from his perspective if hes trying ta save his kid? or is it noble?) so we dont need ta b demonstrated ta that hes a bad person again. if hes just pure evil from the get go it doesnt make sense ta me ta have the afton kids be prominent in the story (besides michael, but even then he could probably be replaced by one of the victims family members) when you could illustrate the same point by focusing on the kids hes killed and their families. why do the afton kids matter if he treats all children the same. why are we focusing so much on the afton family and what appear ta b major story beats in their story, especially since the children he has killed do not get as fleshed out as the aftons do. i feel like if his family wasnt important ta him we wouldnt hear abt it at all. you could achieve the same message by making him single and childless.
do u kno how many stories there are of "Righteous Child Of A Horrible Guy Who Hates Everything, Even Their Own Family, Goes Out Ta Stop Their Parent And Save The Day" there are? its b/c its too easy!!! its too easy for u ta assume that a character is the worst and has been the worst forever!!! its too easy ta assume that an evil character would abuse their family!!! its too easy ta assume an evil character wouldn't have traits besides jealousy, hatred and narcissism!!!!
#spacie splains#idk i think of things really objectively#i dont like clutter in my stories i like things ta have a point#and i like them ta serve a purpose and be unique. not just demonstrate the same facts over and over again#unless thats like a theme and intentional but yk#like i said i dont like the 'im evil and treat my family like shit' trope#overdone ta hell and back#so its a personal thing#thank you for asking me abt this! i love talking abt him as u can see :)#give me morally grey characters give me characters who descend inta the worst version of themselves for ways they could have prevented#give me characters who know they're spiraling give me characters who know its wrong but cant stop#give me characters who do horrible things for a cause that is sentimental and noble ta them#give me characters who you can understand why they did that even if it was awful#WOW I TALKED A LOT#.....8 years of brainrotâ even if i wasnt conscious of it#I DONT LIKE THE EASY ROAD!!! I DONT WANT TA BLINDLY HATE HIM I WANT 2 THINK!!!#i like these rants i do so ill tag him#as a treat ta myself#william afton#fnaf#you: ask me a simple 'hey which one do u prefer?' me: here is my whole dissertation on the subject that is william afton
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no, dragon age 2 is not the best dragon age game. but itâs also not the worst. and most importantly, it is my favorite.
#sorry for continuing to obsess over the cast of da2 13 years later. i just adore them#theyâre messy and terrible but god do they compel me. the thing about da2 is that a surprising about of the bad writing CAN enhance it#if you really lean into it and make it work. it makes the characters worse people yes. it makes them very contradictory people#but the longer i sit on it the more i can make it work. the ending choice is still bad and lacking and doesnât allow for genuine roleplay#and i lament that the world states donât let me properly convey that my hawke THOUGHT they âdid the wrong thing for the right reasonsâ#and that you canât really play as the kind of selfish coward my hawke is to me you know. someone who pays lip service but doesnât follow up#whose allegiances come with conditions and at the end of the day always looks out for individuals rather than entire demographics#i think thatâs why i love varric so much too bc thatâs how he is! he loves merrill and anders (tho he wonât admit it) BUT#he doesnât really âgetâ mage stuff. he wants them to give it up. anders even more so. varric doesnât believe#thereâs a gap of lived understanding between them he NEVER really tries to breech and thatâs why his love is conditional#for as much as varric went to bat for anders year after year and would never have sold him out during their time in kirkwallâŚ#he still resents anders in inquisition. bc anders had goals and ambition and wouldnât settle for varricâs friendship#such a conditional allegiance would never satisfy anders. he wasnât the type to forsake all mages just to live comfortably hidden by others#oh my god i need to play dragon age 2 again
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idk how to reconcile my new self with my old self. also i fucking hate waiting. GRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#delete later#im getting a taste of my own medicine bc when im overwhelmed depressed etc i donât even open emails or dms or whatever and then ifeel guilty#and let them build up and run away from them and literally do not reply for years. but ive been waiting for like 5 different but related#replies for 3ish days at this point and im soooooo impatient omg i want to bash my head into the wall.. and afaik no one i messaged has#opened the message despite being active online elsewhere which is EXACTLY what i do so i have no right to complain at all. but still. omggg#i just have a simple question (me and the ps5 voice) reply to my message boy#purrs#also.. ok yeah im gonna be honest about it even if there are consequences lol. idk why im on such a mission to get back all my old#characters but if i donât i can and will go crazy. i donât even do that kind of thing anymore and d*viantart is an irreversibly warped#landscape due in part to capitalism and in part to own mistakes and selfish actions. and i truly feel like my tumblr mutuals are the only#ones who understand me and feel safe and cozy on here. but i miss my old internet home. and i really miss my old internet friends and seeing#all the jokes we had and how we were all like interconnected w the same adopt groups and stuff and now we donât even talk⌠it makes me so#sad and i feel weird messaging them just for the purpose of asking if they can give me back characters i gave them 4 years ago like a) you j#just donât do that kind of thing i donât think but b) it feels so transactional and would make the part of saying hey our friendship was#important to me when i was a teenager and even though we donât talk anymore i think of you fondly and wish you well. like lollllll. and i#feel cringe even tracking them down / messaging them bc we are all jn our 20s now⌠embarrassing. but i am so mad at myself for letting those#friendships wither (not that i have the spoons to sustain them these days anyway but still) and for not keeping bettr track of my characters#when i sold them and for giving them up in the first place and for letting my old internet life just fall apart due to neglect bc it puts me#in a bind to try to piece it together again no matter how i try it and i shouldnât try anyway. but i am so tempted to rn. lol#* itd make saying stuff abt appreciating friendship weird bc thereâs a transaction tied in (source: i did this and feel weird and bad)#like the way i want to SCREAM seeing that dA ate all of the journals i made when i was a 14 year old and turned them into glitched polls. th#the way the wayback machine has terrible unreliable records of everything and i can never get some stuff back / track some stuff down. pain#anyways itâs stupid bc i feel cozy and listened to and as connected as i have the energy to be to all of u guys so why am i doing this. but#i miss the dA stuff too and i wish it wasnât cringe and i wish i could have everything thatâs ever been part of me all in one place. lol#also this doesnât even take into account my poetry community on dA on my other account who i also felt so safe and cozy with and i abandoned#that too and lost touch with basically everyone even though we all knew each others deepest secrets for years.. the heartsickness of it all#anyways mutuals who knew me on deviantart i am clutching both your hands with impassioned urgency and kissing u on the cheeks. thatâs all
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i'm remembering why i don't stay on dating apps for long and why i have a hard time making connections with folks in general. if i have to teach one more fucking person about polite conversation with people you do not know yet, i swear to GOD.
#hhhhh i hate making generalizations but it does tend to be the cis men who don't know how talking to people like people goes#if you ask to see someone's art and they deign to share it with you don't immediately offer concrit unless it's specifically asked for?#like yes i'm concerned Iconic Character might not be recognizable despite my use of references for once#but i did not actually ask for your help on this because i don't know what your credentials are#and you barely recognized it as it is which is telling me you might not be the biggest fan of Iconic Character as you might think!#Fuck youuuuuuuuuu#i said yes to the offer because if they are reasonable changes i haven't already considered Part Of The Art i might consider them to improv#because i'm already going to be working on it again today so it's not really going to add any more to my plate than i might already have#but i don't even remember how many similar instances of fucking BONKERS things to say to a stranger i've been like#hey you know people don't talk to each other like this right? you know that's not how conversation is right?#please for the love of god tell me you don't talk to people IRL like this#cause i might start forming ideas about why tf you're on this app in the first place#like i know neurodivergence can be a hurdle and everyone's a little poorly socialized since lockdowns started in 2020#but... i KNOW these guys are not talking to their buddies like this#they think they can get away with it because i look like a woman#and if i gotta be the person who corrects them i will but boy howdy nothing gives me the ick faster than having to tell you that people#do not talk to other people like the way you're talking to me right now we do not know each other#do not presume you can just say Whatever at me and think i'm still gonna wanna try and get to know you to sleep with you like wtf#hhhh sorry. i'm like. probably not going to continue talking to this one but i did give him the opening to respond so i'll see what he has#to say and then move on with my life#it wouldn't probably be such a big deal if the vast majority of people i've attempted to talk to actually#yknow... talked to me.#but like it's fine. i'm fine. it's fine#like yes i would love to have someone i'm able to have sex with as well as friendship and general intimacy#i don't want to teach someone else how to be a person i barely understand it myself
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How the Hashira men react to your neighbor asking you to be quiet
Characters: Tengen, Sanemi, Rengoku, Obanai, Gyomei, Giyuu,
Additional shit: Swearing, Sanemi fighting said neighbor, Rengoku being blunt, mentions of sex, ooc mot likely :p
Tengen
He couldn't care less
His whole thing is being flashy and loud so he wants you to be loud
Like it's not his fault that dick is magical
After he shoos your neighbor away he makes sure to be as loud as possible that night
He's pounding into your cunt and you swear your gonna break when he whispers "okay now scream exactly how big my dick is. Don't forget the tip color-"
He gets cut off by you hitting him with the pillow
Way to ruin the mood
But that doesn't stop him and instead he goes harder, making sure the bed creaks loud ASF for your neighbor
"Not my fault he doesn't know how to please a woman." Is his main reason for doing so
He really wants you to scream his name so it's imbedded in your neighbors head
"Morning N/N!" Him to your neighbor from the balcony while your trying to get out of bed and failing
"Actually die." Both you and your neighbor to Tengen
Sanemi
Cares alot
Why the fuck is that limp dick biscuit talking to you and him? Who does he think he is?
You were the one who broke the news to him thankfully cause if Sanemi was the one who opened the door then you'd have to see your husband through glass in a prison
Just kidding. The Slayer corp would get him out of trouble if he didn't do it himself.
Anyways
Sanemi made it his goal to piss your neighbor off as much as possible
Your under him, practically creaming on his cock, and he's slamming the wall yelling "This loud enough yet?! Huh!?"
Not kidding I can see him doing that
He quite literally had you against a window where your neighbors could see him destroying you just to make them mad or uncomfortable, hopefully both.
But then he'd get pissed someone else would see you all naked and fucked out so he settled for the wall next to the window
One day your neighbor, finally having enough, bangs on your door yelling and guess who opens it...Sanemi!!
Good Lord was he waiting for this
It took one punch and the guy was out
Kinda what happens when you put a normal dude against a guy who kills demons for a living
Rengoku
He's a good neutral between caring and not caring
Like he doesn't wanna make your neighbors mad but he also loves hearing your screams
So he tries to keep you quiet during sex but fails since he gets to into it to give a fuck
The next days his loud ass voice wakes you up
"IM SORRY FOR MAKING INCREDIBLE LOVE TO MY WIFE!" He's not being sarcastic thats his genuine apology
Your facepalming and you want to die when you see your neighbor and she can't look at you
"PERHAPS SHES MAD BECAUSE HER HUSBAND CANNOT PLEASE HER!" Rengoku says casually and you know she can hear you from outside in her garden
"Inside voices!" You place your hands over his mouth to try and shut him up.
It works for a bit before he's yelling again
You love your husband but holy shit you wish he would speak normally sometimes
He's actually quiet in bed though
So your the problem (real)
Obanai
I'm not an Obanai fan so forgive me for how bad his section will be
Obanai is a quiet mf, and you're not even that loud
It's your neighbor who was the problem
A little old man whose hearing aids apparently had the power of 67 suns
You and Obanai found this out when he was outside training and your neighbor came over
He was so sweet and polite and even chuckled at Obanai's redness
Obanai cared at first but got over it
You? You make sure to not make a PEEP in bed
Okay that pisses Obanai off but he understands your reasons
At least make a gasp or sum cause he's over here like "Wait does this feel good? Can she feel it? Did I forget where the clit is?"
Brother is STRESSING
Then you cum and he's like "ah"
Then he's like "Did you take it?"
You have to keep yourself from murdering him cause how tf would you fake squirting
Gyomei
Babe I'm not gonna lie, you're a screamer
Gyomei is built like a house and your telling me your just gonna whine and whimper?
NO
Your over here crying and screaming into his chest, neck, the pillow, anything.
And Gyomei loves it!
He can't see your reactions so hearing and feeling them let's him know he's doing good
Gyomei isn't loud but he's not quiet
He'll grunt and moan and praise you, but he's not gonna cry out.
Well he'll cry but you can never tell from what
When the pussy so good you start crying đđ
When your neighbor politely asked you to be a tad bit quieter Gyomei actually laughed
Not in a 'nah we'll keep being loud' way but more of a 'sorry we'll be quiet' way. He also found it hilarious how you actually died of embarrassment.
Don't worry he thinks its endearing
Yet it was kinda hard for him since he enjoyed hearing you
But your touches and now quieter moans made that better
And then there's also you literally drawing blood from his back you were scratching so hard
Giyuu
Holy shit you have never seen him so embarrassed
Like you could shade match his Haori to him and get the exact same color
He was the one your neighbor told and he stopped working when 'loud' and 'moaning' left their lips
If a demon doesn't kill him then his own actions will
Giyuu isn't loud, and he loves that he can make you feel so good that your loud for him.
But he didn't want your neighbor back over at your house so he tried to keep you quiet
You were super confused when he held his hand over your mouth in bed and he just pointed to your neighbors house. Then you got it.
So you nod and try to keep quiet.
You know in school when the teacher tells you and a friend to shut up but they look at you funny and you break?
Yeah that was you
You were riding Giyuu one night and you were loud so he was like "holy shit I love you but please- I can't look our neighbor in the eyes anymore."
And you couldn't help but laugh
Like howling
You calmed down obviously but sex was very giggle filled after that
You've never seen Giyuu so panicked
But give him a week and he'll stop caring
#fem reader#x reader#kny#kny x reader#kny x y/n#kny x you#kny headcanons#demon slayer#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer x you#demon slayer x y/n#demon slayer x female reader#tengen uzui#rengoku kyojuro#sanemi shinazugawa#obanai iguro#gyomei himejima#giyuu tomioka#hashira x reader#kny hashira#demon slayer smut#kny smut#freaky#tengen x reader#rengoku x reader#sanemi x reader#obanai x reader#gyomei x reader#giyuu x reader#kny gyomei
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Tag drop: 2/2
#[ visage. ] you know another man as good looking as i am? the correct answer is no; by the way.#[ mini study. ] is it decided from when we're born then? ones born without much power are fated to be stamped out by you?#[ meta. ] one who's let his soul rot can't measure up to someone with a real soul just by getting power. that's not how it works down here.#[ essence. ] itâs a cruel and random world. and yet the chaos is all so beautiful.#[ humans. ] you think humans are weak. yeah; their bodies lack the physical ability of demons; but they posses something that demons don't.#[ demons. ] he understands love; so he'll make it fine as a human. the only things i choose to exterminate are demons.#[ rebellion. ] i always wondered; why did my father give me the rebellion? if the yamato can separate man from devilâŚ#[ sword of sparda. ] he split his power in three parts. one bore his own name; the second blade was named to embody retaliation...#[ yamato. ] ... and the final blade was named to embody a god of death.#[ sparda. ] why do you refuse to gain power? the power of our father sparda? / father? i don't have a father.#[ eva. ] she loved humanity; a demon and her children. it's far out of reach now; that warm smile from my childhood.#[ vergil. ] jackpot! -- why you gotta leave me hangin'? we used to love saying that. / i have no recollection.#[ nero. ] i should thank you. / that'd be out of character. maybe you should just throw an insult my way instead. / that sounds better.#[ patty. ] well patty; if I'm not mistaken this is one time that i might owe you a little thank you.#[ trish. ] if you get sick of it; you can always come back here. / why that's uncharacteristically kind of you.#[ lady. ] can i come along? / do what you want. but don't expect to get paid.#[ morrison. ] damn; you make me wait forever and then you go making selfish requests. / sorry.#[ v. ] for a second there I thought you were gonna shish kabob me. / i know how stubborn you can be.#[ mundus. ] again i must face a sparda. strange fate; isn't it? / strange and ironic that it will end the same way.#[ syd. ] well then strong and gentle lord dante of the 'real soul.' you'll let me live even now; won't you? just like you did before.
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Youâre Jealous
 Summary: You get jealous of someone else in his life.
Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ace, Sabo, Law, and Kid
Genre: Slight Angst // Fluff
CW: None // SFW
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Luffy:
He never told you Boa Hancock was in love with him, and when you find out, you have to remove yourself from the situation before you have an emotional outburst and start something with the Pirate Empress. The problem is, you donât even know which emotion will spill out of you. Finding out the worldâs most beautiful woman, and a powerful Warlord, no less, is desperate to marry Luffy is a whirlwind, to say the least. Luffy can seem clueless at times, but his emotional intelligence is through the roof, and he picks up on what has you upset almost straight away. He knows to give you some space, and when he senses youâre ready, he approaches you with a handful of wildflowers he picked. He doesnât really say much, just pulls you into a hug, presses a few kisses into your cheek and temple, and says in your ear, âyouâre my girl.âÂ
Zoro:
He didnât mention Perona was also at Mihawkâs castle for those two years until a few months after the crew gets together. He tells a story that features her, and you realize there was a woman keeping him company. Your heart drops into your stomach. Zoro insists he didnât mention her because he didnât think she was relevant; the only thing Perona did those two years was annoy him. Heâs actually the one who wonât let it go, not you (even though you are pretty jealous). Whereas youâd prefer not to talk about it, Zoro is wracked with guilt because heâd never considered the whole thing in a relationship context. Him fretting constantly over it actually heals your jealousy because you realize youâve never seen him panic over the prospect of hurting anyone elseâs feelings.Â
Sanji:
Even with a third eye, Pudding is stunning. And Sanji almost married her. It was before you two were together, but listening to the stories from Whole Cake, hearing how close he came to marrying another woman, knowing she really did fall in love with his kind heart and wonderful cooking, turns you into a little green monster. You know you shouldnât feel jealous of a woman youâve never met before, a woman Sanji chose not to marry, but you canât help it. Sanji is completely shocked that you would feel jealous over his relationship (if it could even be called that) with Pudding, though after thinking about it some more, he does realize why you might be jealous that he had a fiancĂŠ. His solution is to bring you a bouquet of roses and walk you through the dark details of his life, telling you things heâs never outright told anyone, so you understand the special place you have in his life.Â
Ace:
He collects people without trying, and often times, without realizing, either. Ace thinks heâs just making friends, but you see the way the women he laughs and shares drinks with are drawn to him like plants to the sun. He promises them freedom and adventure (and he has a very nice laugh), and you can see how it excites them. You donât really mind it, knowing Ace well enough to see the way he holds those women at armâs length, even if he seems close with them (such is the magic of Fire First Ace). But Yamato makes you jealous. Itâs not hearing the way they laughed together but hearing the way they fought that gets to you. You know how Ace lives to fight and even just roughhouse, you know how heâs a rough and tumble guy, and you worry youâre not tough enough. Should you be punching his arm when he makes a joke? Should you be trying to trip him out on deck? What should you be doing? When you finally come clean with Ace about whatâs been bothering you, he actually laughs. âIf I wanted to be with someone who gives me hell, Iâd be sleeping in Marcoâs cabin every night. Besides,â he says, scooping you up in his arms, âI like being able to manhandle you.âÂ
Sabo:
Sabo is a flirt, and you knew that going into your relationship. It actually doesnât bother you when he flashes that charming smile of his at someone else or swoops in to save a damsel in distress (a speciality of his) and even serves to entertain, especially on the rare occasions his flirtations are rebuked. What does bother you, though, is his tight relationship with Koala. You know itâs ridiculous to be envious, you know Koala would sooner saw off her arm than kiss the man she considers her irksome big brother, but theyâve known each other since they were little kids, and Koala has been through so much with Sabo that the pair have such a close bond. Itâs not the angry kind of jealousy that bubbles up in you when Koala mentions something about Saboâs past that she assumes you know but you donât, just the sad kind that you try to keep to yourself. Surprisingly, Sabo notices, though you donât realize until he hugs you from behind and mumbles in your ear that heâs glad youâre the only one who knows he has a skincare routine, his silly words diffusing your mood and acting as the exact affirmation you needed. If itâs not enough, though, heâll happily prove his loyalty to you by challenging Koala to a karate match, though. Â
Law:
Dr. Law and Dr. Robin sure do get along well- so well, in fact, you canât help but wonder if they are better suited to each other than you and him. Even if they didnât have such good chemistry, it would be impossible not to feel a touch of jealousy toward the archeologist. Sheâs intelligent, beautiful, fiercely loyal, a member of the Straw Hats, and has an impressive bounty that she earned even before she became a pirate. Needless to say, you find yourself brooding when the Robin brings him a beer and sits down beside him to discuss the immune systems of fishmen, a topic both are rather interested in. Of course, youâre interested in that, too, thus the reason Law realizes something is wrong when you donât participate in the conversation. He ends up excusing the two of you and taking you to bed, worrying you had too much to drink, the thought you may be jealous never once occurring to him. You end up not saying anything (many thing in your relationship with Law being unspoken) and just sleeping it off, the fact that he excused the two of you proof enough of his loyalty.Â
Kid:
He doesnât ever talk about his first love, Victoria. In fact, you didnât even know she existed until Killer got drunk one night and began speaking of his dearly departed. What he didnât mention was that Kid, too, had been in love with her. It only comes up the next night when you mention it to Wire, who mentions it was the death of his first love, Victoria, that put Kid on the war path and united the first four members of the Kid Pirates. Realizing Wire messed up, Heat chimes in to say, âheâd do the same for you.â But youâre not convinced, mainly because Kid never told you any of this. It tears you apart, leaves you tossing and turning for nights on end, until you finally burst into Kidâs workshop one night ranting about how he doesnât trust you and holds you at armâs length. âHeat says youâd do the same for me, but-â Kid cuts you off and says, âI wouldnât do the same, Iâd do worse. Much, much worse.â And from the wicked gleam in his eye, youâre inclined to believe him.Â
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Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!
#one piece#one piece headcanons#one piece fluff#one piece angst#luffy x reader#zoro x reader#sanji x reader#ace x reader#portgas ace x reader#portgas d ace x reader#sabo x reader#law x reader#trafalgar law x reader#eustass kid x reader
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Loved your writing of arcane characters saying things they regret during an argument. Would you be willing to do a version with Jayce, Viktor and Silco? I apologize if you don't prefer to write about these characters, you can ignore this
Arcane men saying things they'll regret during an argument. | Viktor, Jayce, Silco x Gn!Reader
Oh, I absolutely am willing to do that, Anon!! These are going to be pretty irredeemable, though, so there is not going to be a part two to this... anyways, enjoy!!<3
Content: Season 2 spoilers!!, heavy angst, hurt/no comfort, break ups, swearing, gaslighting, toxic behavior, sfw
Reader has no mentioned pronouns.
((Not proofread))
ăVIKTOR
"This... isn't you anymore, Viktor. A-And I refuse to keep lying to myself like this either!" You hissed out one night, unable to keep it in any longer. You were losing your mind in this compound of his, unable to understand how seemingly no one was able to recognize how wrong everything was. People who were "healed" by him weren't the same after. They turned into robotic and uncanny husks of their old selves.
A terrifying sight that unnerved you deeply. And only you here.
The nail in the coffin was perhaps the skeptical appearance of Councilor Salo. Never in your life had you ever seen him give a damn about anyone but himself. He lived a life of riches and materialism, far from the selfless and minimalistic lifestyle found here. But after your boyfriend healed him of his inability to walk, he suddenly preached the same ideals that everyone else did.
Peace, love, and community.
Those were the important pillars of this idyllic place Viktor had created, and yet you couldn't see past the clear red flags that weaved themselves in their white attire. You were never much of a genius like he was, but it didn't take much brainpower to understand that this was not a great place to be in. No matter how hard he attempted to convince you of that.
"... I'm sorry you feel that way. But I'm afraid I can not follow your reasoning for this claim. I am myself... just someone greater. More meaningful. Isn't that beautiful?" His voice was so gentle and patient in comparison to yours. Something that wasn't unusual to him. But the way he used that tone now made you sick. "Terrifying is a better word, actually... Why can't you see that this is just wrong? You're not healing anyone-" "-But I am. Look around you. Is that not enough for you to finally believe me, my love? I want to create a better world... one in which we can live freely together." Your mind spun, his words ringing in your head dangerously. And you hated every second of it.
This isn't the man you loved anymore. He must have died that fateful day when the sky fell from above, and he covered you with his body to save you. His last act of kindness as your boyfriend and lover before he perished and left behind whoever he was. And you'd be damned if the last good memory got tainted too.
"No. I will not let you play with my mind anymore. I've had enough." You pushed past him, wanting to finally escape this borderline cult. Originally, you had only followed after him because you couldn't bear being without him. Jayce was right, though. He really was different now.
"Hm... it seems like I was right about you after all." You stopped in your tracks yet didn't dare face him. "You truly are not worth saving... you can't grasp the beauty of what I have made. I suppose everyone's claims for your low intelligence were, unfortunately, right. What a shame." How could a devil have such a soothing, loving voice? Why did the monster that now lurked in your shadow have to have your lovers face? The cruelty was too much to bear.
Who would have thought that you'd finally leave him for good after all the years you've taken care of him? This moment felt so surreal and yet ironically freeing as well. The end was near. "Did you... ever even love me?" You asked aimlessly, but didn't wait to hear his answer.
Perhaps if you had, however, you would've seen that sudden spark of surprise in his eyes, as you slipped out of his fingers for good at last.
ăJAYCE
You had looked everywhere for him. And after also asking everyone under the sun if they had seen your boyfriend, you had eventually determined that he must've somehow gone missing. Worried sick, it pained you knowing that there wasn't much you could do either, considering that everyone was too busy getting ready for a borderline war and Caitlyn became unreachable as a result. Yet just as you began to lose hope, your dear lover finally returned... but he wasn't the same.
He didn't look the same, nor did he act the same, in fact. He looked so different that it even visibly startled you when you found him rummaging through his once shared laboratory. You had just returned from another wrap around the building in hopes of finding it, and whilst you'd consider yourself lucky this time around, all you now felt was genuine dread.
"Jayce...? What happened to you? I looked for you everywhere and-" You stilled at the intense look he gave you, his face flinching for a moment, as though his mind couldn't comprehend your image. Glancing over at his peculiar weapon of choice, you felt unnerved at how even that looked uncanny. The entire situation was unnerving you deeply, to say the least. "You... You shouldn't be here." He finally muttered, his voice deeper and colder than it ever was. Jayce always had such a fun and warm voice. If you didn't know any better, you would've questioned who he was a while ago.
"Hey... tell me where you were, okay?" You said, trying a more gentle approach as you neared him, eyes focused on his clearly injured leg. Had he been kidnapped? You doubted it. So what made him end up like this? Nothing you could come with explained his appearance. His hair and beard were way longer than they should have gotten in the short span of time he was gone, too.
Reaching down carefully, you tried to inspect his leg, but he seemed less receptive to the idea. Or so you assumed, after he shoved you away roughly and held the hammer to your face at impressive speed. His eyes were glossy, as though he wasn't entirely all there. He was reliving a terrifying moment in his mind, unaware of the horror you were going through. Never could you have ever thought of ending up in this position with him. "Jayce! What the hell are you doing-?" "-Get away! I know what you are... you've been sent by him too, weren't you?" You let out a shriek when he swung the hammer at you, only giving you a fraction of a second to jump out of the way.
Falling onto your behind, you quickly crawled backward and away from him, tears welling up in your eyes. Your scream seemed to at least wake him up, though, as he finally lowered his weapon and blinked at you in surprise. "Fucks sake! What is wrong with you?" You yelled out, yet as fast as his face softened, it hardened again. "... Sorry... I need to leave." Quickly making his way past you, he only barely escaped your presence before you grabbed onto the fabric of his pants. "Why? Where are you going? Why can't you tell me anything?"
The look in his eyes made you shrink away. This wasn't your Jayce anymore. "... The future of everyone in Piltover hinges on me being there on time. Now, make yourself useful for once and get out of my way." Shaking you off harshly, he left you crying on the cold floor of the once lively laboratory, not once looking back.
ăSILCO
When you first met Silco, you were both still leading simple lives in the last drop with his brother and all of your other friends in Zaun. The lanes were harsh and, at times, cruel, yet you fought through the agony of it all together. Years down the line later, you find yourself still reminiscing on those heavenly days, particularly those of your lover who had turned for the worst in the time being. And the question of why you didn't listen to Vander's warnings came to mind again then. Perhaps you were just too used to excusing everything his brother did, especially after he had attempted to drown him so horrifically, which left him permanently injured.
But even so... why didn't you just listen? Why did it take so many years for you to finally throw the towel and leave for good? Finally realise that the man you loved was a monster? A disgusting and evil monster who was willing to use the plight of others for his own gain. And for what? Money? Fame? Power? It was all an ego trip you had far more than enough of. Zaun was his playground, and an escape was impossible. You'd be, however damned if you didn't at least try to anyways. Even if just in Vander's honor as a long-awaited apology.
Pushing past the crowd in the stuffy, full Last drop, you finally reached his office upstairs. Not caring about formalities anymore, you knocked and opened the door without awaiting a reply. If death met you behind it, then so be it. "Ah, darling, in a hurry today, aren't you?" "We need to talk. Alone." Short and straight to the point. Raising a brow, he shared a look with Jinx, who was just done giving him his daily "medicine". Oh, how you hated your lover's dearest creation. Shimmer. The exact thing that had ruined your lives for good. But you pushed away your disdain for the task at hand.
Giving Jinx a dismissive wave of his hand, you waited for her to be gone for good before taking a breath to speak. But Silco beat you to it. Always so painfully perceptive. "The answer is no, if you're here asking to leave. I refuse to let you go, dear. You have no one else but me after all. You wouldn't survive on your own." He always underestimated you, so this wasn't an all to surprising response. And if you were just a couple of months younger, you would have maybe agreed and backed off. But you were sick of his games.
"I didn't come here to ask for permission, Silco. I'm here to say goodbye." The slightest, softest crack at the last word gave you away horribly. You certainly didn't expect your feelings for the man to betray you, but even that won't stop you now. Said man just hummed in response as he stood up to face the window. His hands calmly lit a cigar, very much unbothered. But you knew that your sentence had gotten to him anyway with how his hand shook ever so slightly. Out of anger, most likely.
"So you think you can do whatever you want? Leave after you've spent so many years at my side? Your hands aren't as clean as you think they are, darling. Even yours are a bright violet." A reference to the shimmer vials on his desk. He knew how much you hated it, so this felt like a jab. A jab at the deep guilt you felt every day for enabling the death of all of your friends indirectly. If only you had stopped him from the start... then maybe you wouldn't have to feel the dread that ruined you from the inside anymore.
"I've accepted my flaws and sins a long time ago. I may not be better than you... but sometimes, in order to end the cycle, you have to walk away and leave some things behind." You suddenly felt so content, his cold and terrible words not reaching you anymore. You were so close to leaving. So close to leaving Zaun and Piltover like you've always dreamed. But Silco just scoffed in disbelief.
"Hah, don't give me that self-righteous shit... I've been there for you for so many years, dear. I've taken care of you, fed you, and loved you to my best ability for so long. The least you could do is be grateful for my kindness." "So you think I'm a burden?" The silence was deafening, but it was enough to confirm your long-standing suspicions. He had lost his love for you a long time ago. Perhaps the side that loved you so purely drowned in the river with him.
"... Goodbye. I hope one day you can walk away too." You turned and began walking out then, suddenly realising that it's finally over. Shoving your hands into the pocket of your coat, you felt the ticket for the skyship you had to take. "Don't you dare leave. Don't you dare it-" All bark and no bite as usual. There was no stopping you now, and he knew it. He was letting you go after all. You could just hope that one day he'd listen to your words and end the cycle, too.
What a shame that you won't be there at his side to see it, however... maybe in another life then.
#arcane#arcane x genderneutral reader#arcane x reader#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#arcane viktor#arcane viktor x reader#viktor#viktor x reader#arcane silco#arcane silco x reader#silco x reader#silco#arcane jayce#arcane jayce x reader#jayce#jayce x reader
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Aziraphaleâs Choice, the Job Connection, and Michael Sheenâs Morality
Update: Michael Sheen liked this post on Twitter, so I'm fairly certain there is a lot of validity to it.
Iâve had time to process Aziraphaleâs choice at the end of Season 2. And I think only blaming the religious trauma misses something important in Aziraphaleâs character. I think what happened was also Aziraphaleâs own conscious choiceââas a growth from his trauma, in fact. Hear me out.
Since November 2022 Iâve been haunted by something Michael Sheen said at the MCM London Comic Con. At the Q&A, someone asked him about which fantasy creature he enjoyed playing most and Michael (bless him, truly) veered on a tangent about angels and goodness and how, specifically,
We as a society tend to sort of undervalue goodness. Itâs sort of seen as sort of somehow weak and a bit nimby and âoh itâs nice.â And I think to be good takes enormous reserves of courage and stamina. I mean, you have to look the dark in the face to be truly good and to be truly of the lightâŚ. The idea that goodness is somehow lesser and less interesting and not as kind of muscular and as passionate and as fierce as evil somehow and darkness, I think is nonsense. The idea of being able to portray an angel, a being of love. I love seeing the things people have put online about angels being ferocious creatures, and I love that. I think thatâs a really good representation of what goodness can be, what it should be, I suppose.
I was looking forward to BAMF!Aziraphale all season long, and I think thatâs what we got in the end. Remember Neil said that the Job minisode was important for Aziraphaleâs story. Remember how Aziraphale sat on that rock and reconciled to himself that he MUST go to Hell, because he lied and thwarted the will of God. He believed thatââtruly, honestly, with the faith of a child, but the bravery of a soldier.
Aziraphale, a being of love with more goodness than all of Heaven combined, believed he needed to walk through the Gates of Hell because it was the Right Thing to do. (Like Job, he didnât understand his sin but believed he needed to sacrifice his happiness to do the Right Thing.)
Thatâs why we saw Aziraphale as a soldier this season: the bookshop battle, the halo. But yes, the ending as well.
Because Aziraphale never wanted to go to Heaven, and he never wanted to go there without Crowley.
But it was Crowley who taught him that he could, even SHOULD, act when his moral heart told him something was wrong. While Crowley was willing to run away and let the world burn, it was Aziraphale (in that bandstand at the end of the world) who stood his ground and said No. We can make a difference. We can save everyone.
And Aziraphale knew he could not give up the ace up his sleeve (his position as an angel) to talk to God and make them see the truth in his heart.
I was messed up by Ineffable Bureaucracy (Boxfly) getting their happy ending when our Ineffable Husbands didnât, but I see now that them running away served to prove something to Aziraphale. (And I am fully convinced that Gabriel and Beelzebub saw the example of the Ineffables at the Not-pocalypse and took inspiration from them for choosing to ditch their respective sides)
But my point is that Aziraphale saw them, and in some ways, they looked like him and Crowley. And he saw how Gabriel, the biggest bully in Heaven, was also like him in a way (a being capable of love) and also just a child when he wasnât influenced by the poison of Heaven. Muriel, too, wasnât a bad person. The Metatron also seemed to have grown more flexible with his morality (from Aziraphale's perspective). Like Earth, Heaven was shades of (light?) gray.
Aziraphale is too good an angel not to believe in hope. Or forgiveness (something heâs very good at it).
Aziraphale has been scarred by Heaven all his life. But with the cracks in Heavenâs armor (cracks he and Crowley helped create), Aziraphale is seeing something else. A chance to change them. They did terrible things to him, but he is better than them, and because of Crowley, he feels ready to face them.
(Will it work? Can Heaven change, institutionally? Probably not, but I can't blame Aziraphale for trying.)
At the cafe, the Metatron said something big was coming in the Great Plan. Aziraphale knows how trapped he had felt when he didnât have Godâs ear the first time something huge happened in the Big Plan. He canât take a chance again to risk the world by not having a foot in the door of Heaven. Thatâs why we saw individual human deaths (or the threat of death) so much more this season: Elspeth, Wee Morag, Jobâs children, the 1940s magician. Aziraphale almost killed a child when he couldnât get through to God, and heâs not going through that again.
âWe could make a difference.â We could save everyone.
Remember what Michael Sheen said about courage and doing goodââand having to âlook the dark in the face to be truly good.â Thatâs what happened when Aziraphale was willing to go to Hell for his actions. Thatâs what happened when he decided he had to go to Heaven, where he had been abused and belittled and made to feel small. He decided to willingly go into the Lionâs Den, to face his abusers and his anxiety, to make them better so that they would not try to destroy the world again.
Him, just one angel. He needed Crowley to be there with him, to help him be brave, to ask the questions that Heaven needed to hear, to tell them God was wrong. Crowley is the inspiration that drives Aziraphaleâs change, Crowley is the engine that fuels Aziraphaleâs courage.
But then Crowley tells him that going to Heaven is stupid. That they donât need Heaven. And heâs right. Aziraphale knows heâs right.
Aziraphale doesnât need Heaven; Heaven needs him. They just donât know how much they need him, or how much humanity needs him there, too. (If everyone who ran for office was corrupt, how can the system change?)
Terry Pratchett (in the Discworld book, Small Gods) is scathing of God, organized religion, and the corrupt people religion empowers, but he is sympathetic to the individual who has real, pure faith and a good heart. In fact, the everyman protagonist of Small Gods is a better person than the god he serves, and in the end, he ends up changing the church to be better, more open-minded, and more humanist than god could ever do alone.
Aziraphale is willing to go to the darkest places to do the Right Thing, and Heaven is no exception. When Crowley says that Heaven is toxic, thatâs exactly why Aziraphale knows he needs to go there. âYouâre exactly is different from my exactly.â
____
In the aftermath of Trump's election in the US, Brexit happened in 2018. Michael Sheen felt compelled to figure out what was going on in his country after this shock. But he was living in Los Angeles with Sarah Silverman at the time, and she also wanted to become more politically active in the US.
Sheen: âI felt a responsibility to do something, but it [meant] coming back [to Britain] â which was difficult for us, because we were very important to each other. But we both acknowledge that each of us had to do what we needed to do.â In the end, they split up and Michael moved back to the UK.
Sometimes doing the Right Thing means sacrificing your own happiness. Sometimes it means going to Hell. Sometimes it means going to Heaven. Sometimes it means losing a relationship.
And thatâs why what happened in the end was so difficult for Aziraphale. Because he loves Crowley desperately. He wants to be together. He wanted that kiss for thousands of years. He knows that taking command of Heaven means they would never again have to bow to the demands of a God they couldnât understand, or run from a Hell who still came after them. They could change the rules of the game.
And heâs still going to do that. But it hurts him that he has to do that alone.
#good omens#good omens 2#ineffable husbands#it's kinda like capt america: civil war#with Azi as Tony Stark: traumatized and trying to do the right thing#and Crowley being Steve Rogers: fuck the establishment let's go rogue#gos2spoilers#good omens meta#good omens 2 meta#go s2#michael sheen#go s2 meta#go meta#*mine#*mymeta#ineffables husbands#ineffable soulmates#*mybest
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I finally watched breaking bad (all within the past week or so while I worked, finished it and watched el camino last night) and I'm confident this isn't a new thought I'm expressing or anything but genuinely how DID an entire generation of dudes convince themselves Walter White was cool and admirable and intended to be sympathetic. I know ppl just lack media literacy sometimes but I'm still so confused
I don't think I've EVER watched a piece of media that so blatantly depicts a guy making the worst possible decisions at every turn and having his life ruined for it and not being redeemed or made sympathetic in any significant or lasting way. the kinds of justifications villains USUALLY give that make people consider them "morally grey" or "tragic" or whatever (everything I did was for my loved ones, I did what I had to to survive, once I was in this I couldn't get out, I just needed you to trust me so I could keep you safe, etc etc) is ALWAYS framed as complete self-serving bullshit when Walt says it, and one of the only shreds of personal growth he ever exhibits in the whole series is when he finally fucking admits that. every time he does something even remotely cool or drops a quotable one-liner, something terrible immediately happens that makes everything worse and makes him look like an unreasonable idiot asshole again. by the end of the series the ONLY characters they can still contrast as being morally "worse" than him are literally a bunch of bloodthirsty neonazis who kept a guy in a cage for several months. this show is practically SCREAMING at you the entire time not to admire Walt. why did every dude I knew in highschool have his face on tshirts and Facebook pfps.
I just don't get it. at least with The Dark Knight's Joker it was like, a feature-length movie and that's it. you spend a lot less time with the Joker and it has a lot less time to delve into his motivations, so there's way more room for flanderization and misinterpretation as people extrapolate the few cool/interesting/sad things they saw into a whole nuanced misunderstood guy in their heads and online. Walter White has 5 seasons' worth of 45min episodes to convince you beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is a miserable fucking loser who ruins everything he touches because of greed and selfishness. if you weren't watching it for that, what WERE you getting out of this. what DID you think this show was about. am I just missing some key piece of context from 2012 or whatever that would help me understand this
#buny text#breaking bad#also I'm vaguely aware there was a big movement of fans who blamed everything on his wife and said she was the worst#which like. obvious misogyny from the primary audience of teen boys and young men aside#she's not really worse than any of the other adult characters?? she sucks real bad in the first couple seasons but so does everyone else#half the point of having all these characters be so shitty and rigid and unwilling to grow or accommodate others is so that#they can serve as landmarks to show how rapidly walt is abandoning his morals and spiraling into self-justification as the series goes on#the people you hate in season 1 are largely people you sympathize with in season 4 and 5 because compared to walt they're saints#idk. it's just weird having grown up around the fan culture for this show for the past decade or so and then finally watching it#and just being completely baffled now that i know what they were responding to
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THE SCIENTIST
pairing: popular hueningkai x deaf fem!reader
summary: Kai, who thrived in sound. Loud noise, vibrant conversations, the hum of life. And the quiet girl that sits prettily by the windowâhad begun to haunt his mindâstirring his heart the way only music ever had.
There must be some scientific explanation for this... right?
warnings: deaf reader, set in 1995 timeline, verbal!abuse, physical!abuse, family-trauma, ableism!(hate this word so much). side character!death, purely work of fiction. subtle implications of survivor guilt, high-school setting but everyone is 18 and above. everything written here is not a description of any idols. characters like chae-won, yun-jin etc are used. if any of the warnings above might be triggering for you, please proceed with caution if you decided to read. (let me know if i missed anything.)
smutwarnings: explicit!smut, pull-out method(pls don't),fingering!, missionary!, virginity!loss. MDNI.
wc: 21k
notes: inspired by twinkling watermelon. while Iâve done some research to better understand what itâs like to be deaf, there may still be inaccuracies. I did my best to approach the subject with care and respect. love knows no boundaries, hence I wrote this piece. a big thank you to @killa-1009 for beta reading. ilysm.
You were born with the inability to hear anything.
The world is nothing but a muted place for you. You never heard the birds singing at dawn, the hum of a bustling street, or the warmth in your parentsâ voicesâeven your own. The sun might be painting the sky with its warm hues, but for you, it was just another day of deafening silence.
And then there was that one particular day.
You didnât hear the crash, the scream of tyres, or the shattering glass. You didnât hear your mother's voice, soft and trembling, as she held you close. Eyes brimming with tears, searching yours, face pale and streaked with blood.
You triedâdesperatelyâto focus, to read the words forming on her lips. But your head spun, the world blurred, and all you could feel was her cold hands cradling your face. How can you? When you couldn't even hear your own pained whimpers from the glass that cut your skin. Strangers pulled you. They carried you awayâaway from her, away from her forever.
Youâve convinced yourself it must be punishmentâa cruel reckoning from a life before this one.
Why else would your hearing be taken from you? Why else would the universe strip away the one person who truly saw you, who tried to understand you, even in your silence? What crime could have been so unforgivable that it warranted a lifetime of loss?
You stabbed at the food on your plate, pushing it around without taking a bite. Your stomach churnedânot from hunger but from being trapped here. The room was filled with people who called themselves your family. Familyânothing more than a coincidence of living in the same house.
A sharp kick to your foot snapped you out of your thoughts. Your eyes met hersâyour stepmother. Her perfectly practised smile didnât reach her cold, calculating eyes.
She had arrived after the accident, ten years ago, when you were just eight. Back then, she was a tutor, brought in to give your father hopeâa cruel, empty hope that you could still learn to speak. She had played her role well, and now she sat at the head of this table, the head of this house, ruling with her own. Her daughtersâyour stepsistersâsat on either side of her, mirroring her expressions, their eyes flickering toward you.
âIs the food not to your liking?â she askedâyou read her lips, something you had to do out of necessity. Her stare burned into you.
You knew that look too well. Behave. Know your place.
And, as always, your father sat there, oblivious. His eyes never caught the disdain in hers, never lingered long enough to notice the cracks in the perfect picture she painted. Soon, he'll be back overseas for another business trip.
"Y/N?"
You hesitated, lifting your hand to sign, then you caught her eyeâa sharp, pointed look. Your hand faltered, dropping back to your side.
Instead, you let out a hum. It wasnât much, just a soundâa vibration you couldnât hear but felt in your throat. She tilted her head slightly, giving a satisfied nod.
Your father pushed back his chair, standing with the same distracted air he always had. He walked over to you, placing a hand on your head, a gesture so routine it barely meant anything anymore. Iâm going now. That was what it always meant.
He leaned down, pressing a kiss to your forehead briefly, before straightening up. His secretary hovered near the door. You watched his back as he walked out, leaving you staring from the table.
The day your mother left you, you lost... him too.
Seeing the doors close, you rose from your seat, but your stepmother was quicker, blocking your path. She loomed, her face a mask of forced patience. "Do I need to remind you again?" she said, "I said speak. No hand signs or whatever that is. That is not allowed here on this house. Do you want me to get mad at you again?"
Her glare felt like a physical force, pinning you to the spot. Unable to meet her eyes, you nodded weakly, looking at the floor. But she wasnât done. She stepped closer, grabbing your shoulders in a firm, punishing grip. Her fingers dug into your skin as she shook you, her frustration spilling over.
Everyone watched. They just.. watched. The maids stood frozen in the corner, their expressions carefully blank, devoid of any emotion, too scared to intervene. Your stepsisters whispered to each other, their mocking smiles only adding to the humiliation.
You nodded again, your only escape was to comply. A soft hum escaped your lips, the sound she always, always insisted on, a token of submission that seemed to satisfy her. Her hands drop from your shoulders. The moment her grip released, you ran. Up the stairs, down the hall, into the only place that felt remotely yoursâyour room.
Once inside, you collapsed at your desk, leaning forward until your forehead pressed against the hard surface. The tears came quickly, spilling from your eyes as sobs racked your chest. They said crying was supposed to help, to lighten the burden somehow. But for you, it only made the weight heavier. You couldnât even hear yourself cry. The silence made your pain feel endless.
In your despair, your arm knocked into something on the desk. You looked up in alarm, your heart skipping as you saw the mess. Paints, scattered and spilling, teetered dangerously close to the last drawing you had finished the night before.
Frantically, you reached out, your hands moving quickly to fix it. The thought of losing that small pieceâfelt unbearable. You righted the paints and saved the smudged edges of the paper, tears blurred your vision as you looked at the sketch.
A boy, in your uniform, with bangs that fell over his eyes and the back of his hair just shy of touching his collar, stood smiling softly. In his hands, he held a guitar, fingers resting gently on the strings.
Huening Kai has so much to be delighted forâhis mom, his dad, his sweet sistersâbut if heâs being frank, what heâs most thankful for is the day he picked up a guitar and found his love for it.
Music has been his refuge during both the small, frustrating setbacksâlike failing a math test he poured hours into studying for or losing a manga he cherished so much and never finding it againâand the moments that cut far deeper.
It was there when his parents decided to end their marriage, leaving him struggling at firstâto make sense of a family that no longer looked the same. It was there when Lea packed her things and left for college, that he felt the ache of her absence in a much quieter house. It was there when two of his bandmates graduated, their spots in the group left empty, a reminder of how quickly life can change.
Through music, he met people who became his closest friends, his second familyâpeople he couldnât imagine living without.
It all comes back to one truth: music doesnât betray you. Itâs always there, no matter what. Itâs honest, a constant in a world that often feels anything but. Itâs there when you need it most, wrapping you in its arms like an old friend who doesnât need words to understandâeven when you canât find them yourself.
âHuening Kai!â a high-pitched voice calls out. He feels the soft thud of pillows hitting him and a sharp slap against the back of his thigh. Seriously? He had just fallen asleep.
âIâm going to eat all your food if you donât get up,â the voice threatens. That gets his attention. Groaning, he blinks his eyes open, adjusting to the dim light of his room. Familiar sight of used guitars propped against the wall, the gleam of trophies, and the dark violet hue that wraps around the room.
He blinks. Oh. Itâs his sister, Hiyyih.
Hiyyih stands there, a plate in one hand, an annoyed look plastered across her face. Kai can tell sheâs been sent by their mom to rouse him, probably against her will. She takes a deliberate bite of scrambled eggs, her eyes narrowing as she gives him a pointed look before turning to leave.
Kai chuckles softly, shaking his head as he rubs his eyes. He stretches, muscles still heavy, and a frown tugs at his lips. Today is the first day of his last year in high school. The final chapter. Soobin and Yeonjun wonât be there anymore. He sighs, swinging his leg off the bed.
He runs a hand to his tousled hair, grabs a hoodie from the back of his chair and pulls it over his head. He heads towards the chatterâsmell of eggs, bacon and pancakes makes his stomach growl.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," His mom greets him with a smile. His frame now towering over the kitchen shelves. He catches her watching him, a soft look in her eyes, and it makes him smile back.
"Morning," Kai mumbles, sits down at the table, reaching for a slice of toast.
Hiyyih watches him,"I thought I was going to have to eat all your food," she teases.
Kai rolls his eyes but grins. "You wish."
"Big day, huh? Last first day of school."
"Yeah. It feels⌠weird. Soobin and Yeonjun arenât going to be there. Has Lea called yet?"
"She did. She's doing great so far, being a college girl." his mom answers, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure you'll make even greater memories this year."
Kai smiles, appreciating her words. "Thanks, Mom."
Breakfast was filled with small talk, morning routines wrapping around them. Hiyyih busied herself packing her lunch, their mom helping her with a few finishing touches. Being just a year below Kai, their schedules almost mirrored each other, so they will go to school together.
"Kai, want me to sneak some of these into your lunch?" Hiyyih asked, voice dripping with exaggerated sweetness. He glanced over to see her holding up rice balls shaped like hearts and little animals, clearly proud of her handiwork.
"No, thank you," Kai replied, his tone flat but amused.
"Killjoy," she muttered, giving him a mock glare before returning to her task. He watches as she carefully places a tiny heart-shaped piece of seaweed to form a cat's nose. Something he did not understand.
Why go through all that effort?
The three of them make their way to their momâs old car, a little worn but still reliable. Kai slips into the passenger seat, and Hiyyih climbs into the back, fussing with her hair even though she just brushed it a minute ago.
âWhy donât you let me drive?â Kai asks as the car starts rolling through the neighborhood. âThat way you donât have to keep going back and forth from school to home.â
His mom glances at him, a smile tugging at her lips. âSon, just because you turned 18 last summer doesnât mean Iâm handing over the keys. Besides,â she adds warmly, âI want to do this for you and Hiyyih.â
Kai leans back in his seat, nodding. Sheâs right. And anyway, itâs not like they head home together after school. His afternoons are spent in the band room while Hiyyih flits between her own plans, always busy with something or some girlfriends.
The car rolls up to the massive school grounds, Kai glances out the window. The sight of students milling around, the towering building aheadâitâs the same as always. He exhales and starts gathering his things.
He steps out, the crisp air latch on his face. With a quick ruffle of his hair, he pushes his longer bangs away from his eyes, though they fall back almost immediately. The strands at the back have grown out too, brushing the collar of his jacket. Slinging his backpack over his right shoulder and his guitar case over his left, he adjusts the weight and sets off toward the main building. Blackâheadphones rest around his neck.
Heâs barely made it a few steps before he feels itâthe stares. The whispers.
âIsnât he one of the handsome seniors?â âThe main guitarist of TXT.â â âHeâs so tall. And cute.â
Kai shrugs it off, keeping his focus ahead. Heâs used to it. Beside him, Hiyyih is already swept up by one of her friends, her laughter fading into the background after sheâs pulled in another direction. His feet carried him down the well-worn hallway, a path he didnât even have to think about. He could probably make the walk blindfolded. The band room.
When he reached the door, he grasped the doorknob and paused, a small smirk tugging at his lips as the low, bassline thrummed from inside. Peeking inside, the sight was just as he expectedâhome.
âYo! Huening Kai!â Beomgyuâs voice rang out, bright and animated, as he set his bass down. His grin widened as he crossed the room in a few quick steps, pulling Kai into a hug before he could dodge. âHow was your summer?â
Kai let out a soft laugh, prying Beomgyuâs arms off him. âIt was fine. I went shopping with Taehyun a couple of times,â he said, making his way toward his guitar shelf. âWatch it.â he added, shooting Beomgyu a look as the other trailed dangerously close behind.
Beomgyuâs eyes landed on the guitar case Kai was carrying, and his grin turned sly. âWhatâs this? A new baby?â
âYeah,â Kai replied, carefully unzipping the case and pulling the guitar out as if it were a fragile treasure. âDad brought it back from abroad.â
Beomgyu snickered, reaching out to pinch Kaiâs cheek. âYouâre absolutely smitten, arenât you?â
âWould you stop?â Kai swatted his hand away, but there was no hiding the small, proud smile tugging at his lips.
Before Beomgyu could tease him further, the door swung open again. Taehyun stepped inside, clipboard in hand, expression calm and no-nonsense as usual. âThe new auditionees are here,â he announced, motioning to the two figures who followed him in.
âThis is Heeseung,â Taehyun said, gesturing to the taller one. âHeâs here to audition for piano. And Jayâheâs trying out for drums.â
Kai glanced at the newcomers, giving them a polite nod as Beomgyu rubbed his hands together, mischievous grin returning. "Alright," Beomgyu said, "letâs see what theyâve got."
The next hour flew by with skills checks, and it didnât take long for them to see that Heeseung and Jay were solid. They were skilled, sharp, and seemed to fit right into the gaps left by Soobin and Yeonjun. It felt like they could pick up the left space and carry it forward without missing a beat.
Afterwards, Taehyun waved them off, heading to his next class, while Kai and Beomgyu walked in the opposite direction. They shared the same class, while Taehyun, ever the academic overachiever, headed to the advanced one.
âOnly the brainiacs go there,â Beomgyu says, nudging Kai with his elbow.
Kai shook his head. Taehyunâs class was famous for being perfectly orderlyâa stark contrast to theirs, which was noisy and chaotic on a good day. Their room always felt like the epicentre of the schoolâs commotion, every day.
The rest of the hours passed in a blur of introductions and meetings with their new advisors. And, of course, Kaiâs least favourite math teacher made his return, every bit as strict as before.
Kai slouched in his chair, barely stifling a groan as the teacher droned on about equations and formulas. His mind driftedâWhy do he even need this? Is he going to calculate the quadratic formula to buy chips at the grocery store? No.
He glanced down at his hands, the faint calluses on his fingertips from hours of guitar practice catching his eye. Heâd much rather spend his time until his hands were sore than trying to decipher problems that made no sense to him.
Beomgyu leaned over, âI think your brain just checked out.â
Kai grinned, giving him a light shove. âMath checked me out first.â
The two of them exchanged quiet laughter, abruptly stopping when the teacher eyed them down.
By the time the last class wrapped up at 4 p.m., Kai found himself right back where heâd started his day: the band room. He and his four bandmates were deep into their after-school practice, bestowed in instruments, time slipped by unnoticed.
âShoot,â Jay muttered, his gaze snapping to the wall clock. 7:30 p.m. Thirty minutes past the curfew for club rooms.
The realization hit them all at once. If the guards caught them here, it would mean one thing: detention.
âPack up. Now,â Taehyun said, already slinging his bag over his shoulder. The others scrambled to gather their own gear.
Everyone slipped out into the dark, quiet halls, trying to move as silently as possible. The sound of their footsteps seemed louder.
âHey! Whoâs there?â A booming voice cut through, and suddenly, ta flash of light caught them mid-step.
âGo!â someone hissed, and chaos erupted. The guard started running toward them, and they bolted in every direction. Beomgyu let out a panicked squeal as he sprinted with his bass case clutched in one hand.
Kai didnât have time to thinkâhe just ran, heart pounded as his legs carried him blindly through the halls. He rounded a corner, only to see another guard up ahead. The group split, scattering.
He canât get detention on the first day. His lungs burned as he pushed himself further. He kept running, not even sure where he was going, until his body⌠gave out.
Panting, he slumped near the wall, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. He glanced over his shoulder and froze. A flashlight beam swept the hallway behind him. His pulse quickened as he realized he was at a dead end.
Frantically, his eyes darted around, then saw a room ahead. Kaiâs brow furrowed at the sight of the mop propped against the door handle, clearly used as a makeshift way to keep it shut. Weird.
He hurried over, carefully removing the mop, and slipped inside. The room was pitch dark, save for the faint glow of light spilling in from the high windows. It cast eerie shadows on the walls, but he didnât care. He just needed to hide.
Kai tried flipping the light switch, but nothing happened. Figures, he thought bitterly. He shut the door as quietly as he could, pressing his back against it to steady his breathing.
âAnyone there?â The sound of footsteps echoed outside. The guardâs flashlight swept across the small window in the door, and Kai instinctively slid to the floor, curling himself. He crawled, akwardly, backwards, toward the corner at the far end of the room, hoping to make himself as invisible as possible.
But something bumped against his foot. He whipped his head around, his breath catching in his throat. Sitting in the corner was someone else.
You.
Your legs were drawn up to your chest, wide eyes staring right back at him.
âShiââ Kai started to curse but stopped himself, clapping a hand over his mouthâheart hammered in his chest, not sure if it was your unexpected presence in the room that caused itâor the way your wide, startled eyes locked onto his in this small space.
Chae-won, like you, is in her final year of high school, while Yun-jin is a year below. Your stepsisters.
When they first moved in, your twelve-year-old self had hoped you could be... friends. You had imagined shared secrets, laughter, and maybe even sisterly bonds. But the moment your fatherâs attention shifted elsewhere, it was clear that your stepmotherâs whispers had already planted seeds of resentment in their hearts.
You couldnât pinpoint exactly when it started. When did it all go wrong? Was it because you were the only biological daughter in the house? Because your father, despite his best intentions, never really connected with them either? Or was it simply because you couldnât speak?
The inability to communicate fully, to bridge the gap between your world and theirs, seemed to widen the chasm. You often wondered if things would have been different if you couldâif words could have built a room where silence had only erected walls.
After years of trying, of reaching out and being met with cold indifference or outright hostility, you gave up. You stopped hoping for understanding, stopped yearning for a connection that seemed impossible. The effort of trying to be part of their society when they wanted nothing to do with yours had only broken your heart.
"Watch where you're going, fucking weirdo," Chae-won sneers, her foot juts out, sending you stumbling. The water bucket you were carryingâfilled with the murky grey water of used paintbrushesâtips forward, dousing your chest. You donât hear the laughter, but you can feel it, buzzing around you in the painting room.
You look up, your gaze darts to Yun-jin. She leans against the counter, arms crossed, her painted red lips curved into a smug smirk. She raises an eyebrow, as if daring you to do something about it.
Youâre in your school's art room, surrounded by the faint smell of turpentine and dried paint. Art has always been your peace. But your love for it didnât go unnoticed by your stepmother.
It wasnât long before she pushed her daughters into it too. Youâre not sure if it was to force some kind of twisted togetherness between you, or if it was her way of ensuring they would always outshine you, in everythingâeven this.
You push yourself up, your clothes clinging to your body, damp. Your eyes narrow as you stare at Chae-won. You want to tell her off, to demand an apology, to ask why she does thisâ
"Cat got your tongue?" she taunts, her lips curl into a cruel grin. "Oh, wait. You canât speak. Poor girl. Thatâs what you get for being such an attention seeker."
Your breath hitches as your brows knit in fury. You canât reply with words, but actionsâactionsâwill do just fine.
As she turns to leave, you grab her hair, yanking it back with all the frustration and hurt bottled up. She shrieks, spinning around to claw at you, and soon youâre both tangled in a fierce struggle.
The others jump in.
Someone grabs your arm, wrenching it back. Another slaps you hard across the face, the sting reverberating through your skull. A foot connects with your leg, sending you buckling. You hit the ground again, tasting blood on your lips as they shove you down.
Your things are heartlessly thrown at youâyour bag, your books, your sketchpadâhitting you like stones. Footsteps retreating, laughter echoing in their faces. They close the door before you can even blink.
You force yourself to your feet, every movement a struggle against the ache in your body. You stumble to the door, testing the handle. It doesnât budge. Of course, it doesnât. Theyâve done this before.
Silence.
You sink back down onto the hard floor, your chest heaving as tears spill freely down your cheeks. Trembling hands reach up to the corner of your lips, fingers brushing the split skin. The sting makes you wince.
The clock ticks on, indifferent. 4:50 p.m.
You take a shuddering breath and wipe your tears with unsteady hands. You smooth your hair, trying to tame the mess they made of it. With a quick swipe, you clear the blood from your mouth, leaving behind only the faint metallic taste.
All you can do now is wait. Aloneâprayingâthat someone will come and find you in this empty room.
What you didnât expect was that someone would comeâthree hours later, long after the sun had set. Youâd been staring at the door for so long that when it finally creaked open, you were already halfway to your feet.
But then you froze.
Itâs him.
Of all people, itâs him.
You swallowed the surprise in your throat, pulse-quickening as you watched him slip inside, crouching low, moving backward like he was avoiding something.
He was hiding. From what, you didnât knowânot until a beam of light swept across the windows above, brushing against the walls like a searching hand. Your body stiffened, instinct telling you to stay still.
You werenât sure you could.
When his gaze finally landed on you, the shock in his expression was unmistakableâand you knew yours mirrored his. Suspended in that shared disbelief.
âQuiet, please,â his lips shaped the words. His hand rose, a single finger pressing against his mouth. The dim light barely reached him, but you caught the faint pink of his lips.
Minutes passed. Neither of you spoke, just staring at each other like you were both trying to figure out something. He shifted, his eyes widening in alarm.
âB-blood,â he stammered, pointing at your forehead.
Your hand shot up instinctively, fingers brushing against the skin there. When you pulled it back, you saw itâsmudges of red streaking your fingertips.
He's as startled as you, he tapped his chest, like he was trying to centre himself, and quickly rummaged through his pocket. He pulled out a handkerchief, holding it out to you with a slightly trembling hand.
You didnât take it. You couldnât. It must be the ache in your bones, the hunger in your stomach, the blood still fresh on your handsâor maybe... your mind was still catching up to the fact that he was here, standing this close to you.
When you didnât move, he took another step forward, hesitating only briefly before carefully pressing the cloth to your forehead. His touch was cautious, you could feel the warmth of his hand through the fabric.
From this close, you could smell him. Clean, with a faint trace of musk, and something sweet underneath. You hated how your chest tightened because of it.
âWhat happened? Why are you here?â he asked, his fingers were steady as he wiped the blood from your skin. His brow furrowed as he inspected the small cut, his concern written plainly on his face. âDid someone lock you in?â
You shook your head, hesitant. You couldnât bring yourself to look at him, so you let your gaze fall somewhereâanywhereâbut on his eyes.
He didnât press for more. âLetâs get out of here.â
His hand found yours. All you could do was stare at your entwined fingers. You can feel the tip of your ears go warm. He gave it a gentle squeeze before he stood and pulled you up from the cold, unforgiving floor.
The boy who had only ever been a distant figure to you. The boy youâd sketched on countless pages, the one whose smile crinkled his eyes so perfectly it made your chest ache. The boy you were sure didnât even know you existed.
He pulls you out of this suffocating room. His tall, sure figure led, guiding you as you ran. Every so often, he glances back, his eyes searching yours and for a fleeting moment, you glance down and see your shadows on the wallâtogether. His hands never let go of yours until you weren't in the dark anymore.
Huening Kai.
Kai slouches in his seat, letting out another heavy sigh. His bodyâs in class, sure, but his mind? Itâs stuck somewhere elseâsomewhere back last night.
He canât stop thinking about you. And he's not sure why.
You both made it out of the school grounds safely, and he even helped you gather your things from your locker. He stood there awkwardly, watching when you downed a bottle of water in one long gulp like your life depended on it. His suspicions were confirmedâsomeone did lock you in that room.
How long had you waited, sitting there in the dark? His stomach churned at the thought. What if he hadnât been hiding that way? What if no one had found you? The idea of you spending the entire night in that empty space until a teacher or janitor happened upon you made his heart race. Itâs⌠eating him alive.
But the thing that gets him, the part he canât stop replaying, is how⌠quiet you were. No explanations, no complaintsâjust a nod here and there, avoiding his eyes the whole time. Did he cross a line? Say something wrong? Overstep somehow? Did he offend you without realizing? Or worseâdo you just not like him?
He rubs the back of his neck. And yet, despite all that, he also canât stop thinking about how your eyes seem soft under the moonlight, making them look soâ
âDude.â Beomgyuâs voice cuts, âWhatâs with the brooding? Bell rang.â
Kai glances around the classroom. Almost empty. âOh. Right. Nothing,â he mumbles, grabbing his bag.
Beomgyu narrows his eyes. âYouâve been sulking like my dog when I donât share my snacks.â
Kai remained silent, pouting and followed Beomgyu out of the classroom. Itâs lunch now, and as usual, theyâre headed to meet Taehyun at the cafeteria. Heeseung and Jay will probably join them too.
Walking through the hall, Kai forces a polite smile at the people who greet him. Beomgyu, on the other hand, is his usual exuberant self, grinning and dapping up every other guy who greets him as they pass.
The two make their way into the cafeteria, people stared. They walk toward their usual spot, a table near the centre of the room. No one ever sits there. Everyone knowsâitâs their table. Yeonjun made that mark. It's an unspoken rule.
Kai drops into his seat, setting his bag down and pulling out his packed lunch. The cafeteria food doesnât really do it, not when his momâs food is always better.
âWhat do you have?â Beomgyu asks, leaning over.
âTempura and some beef,â Kai replies, popping a piece of shrimp into his mouth.
âGive me some,â Beomgyu demands, already reaching for his chopsticks. Kai rolls his eyes but slides the container a little closer, watching as Beomgyu happily steals a piece.
Taehyun walks in, weaving the crowded tables with his usual stride. âYou're early,â he greets, his seat across from them. "That's a record."
Kaiâs eyes flick toward the entrance, catching sight of you slipping. You moved slowly, clutching your tumbler. You keep your head low, glancing around as if to make sure no oneâs watching. Kai stands, pushing his chair back abruptly. He can't miss this chance.
Beomgyu pauses mid-bite, raising an eyebrow. âWhatâre you doing?â
Taehyun gives him a sideways glance. âKai?â Kai ignored them. He just heads toward you.
âHey,â he calls out, but you donât turn. Hesitating for only a second, he gently taps your shoulder.
You whirl around. Your grip tightens on the water bottle, and your eyes widen slightly when you realise itâs him. Around you, a few people glance over.
âHey,â he says again, softer this time. âHowâs your head?â He tilts his own slightly, trying to catch a glimpse of the bandaid peeking out near your hairline. âThat looks better,â he murmurs.
âWould you like to join us for lunch?â He points behind him toward his table when you don't answer, where Beomgyu and Taehyun are undoubtedly watching. As he expected, you shake your head quickly, almost instinctively, avoiding his eyes.
The small rejection stings more than it should. Kai nods, trying to hide his disappointment. âAlright,â he mutters. Then, before he can second-guess himself, he gently takes the tumbler from your hands.
He heads to the water station, fills it to the brim, screws the cap on tightly, and hands it back to you. âHere,â he says simply. It's small. But he wanted to do it for you.
You nod, a small, polite gesture, and turn to leave without a word or a backward glance.
Kai watches you, chest tight. When he trudges back to his table, Beomgyuâs smirk is already waiting for him.
âWhat was that about?â Taehyun asks, leaning forward.
âI was just checking on her,â Kai mumbles, slumping into his seat. âShe never talks to me. I donât get it.â
Taehyunâs gaze sharpens, and he studies Kai for a moment before letting out a quiet sigh. âShe canât,â he finally says, voice calm but firm.
Kai blinks, caught off guard. âWhat do you mean?â
âShe canât hear you.â Taehyun explains, his tone softening. âSheâs deaf, Kai,â
Taehyun filled Kai in, sharing what he knew about you.
Kai was surprised to learn that you were in the same advanced class. As always, you kept everything to yourself. Taehyun admitted he had tried reaching out to you beforeâonce or twiceâbut even he hadnât gotten far.
âSheâs⌠just quiet,â Taehyun said with a shrug. âNot just because sheâs deaf, either. Iâve tried writing things down for her, you know? Like, in a notebook, to make it easier. But she only ever gives one-word answers. A âyesâ here, a ânoâ there.â He sighed, âItâs hard to get through to her.â
Kai leaned back in his seat, dragging a hand through his hair. Guilt tugged at him. Heâd been so quick to assume you were ignoring him, brushing him off on purpose. But now?
Now, he couldnât stop imagining what it must have been like for you that night. Locked, no way to call for help, no way to know if anyone was coming. Alone. Not even the sounds of footsteps approaching to give you hope.
He swallowed hard, his chest tightening. Would he have been able to handle that? Sitting there for hours, completely cut off from the world? Probably not. Heâd have broken down.
That's why Kai finds himself walking in the opposite direction of his classroom, away from Beomgyuâs puzzled stare. He doesnât look back. His feet carry him toward where Taehyun had goneâtoward where he knows you are.
The hallway buzzes with life. Groups of students linger outside classrooms, laughing and chatting, their voices blending into the hour of lunch break. A few glance his way as he passes, curiosity in their eyes.
Kaiâs steps slow as he approaches the room. The back entrance gives him a clear view inside. His eyes scan the rows of desks. Someone calls his name. Heads turn, smiles and greetings thrown his way.
But not yours.
Youâre sitting in the front row, by the window, farthest from where he stands. The sunlight filters through the glass, casting a soft glow over you. Thereâs a sketchbook open on your desk, the pages large and blank except for the lines youâre drawing with practised ease. The way your hand movesâpurposefulâtells him this is second nature to you.
Youâre so focused, so completely lost, that you donât notice the subtle breeze dancing through the window. It catches your hair, making it sway just enough to draw his attention.
He watches as you pause, tucking the stray strands behind your ear before continuing with your sketch. You look just like him whenever he's with his guitar. Kai feels something tighten in his chest.
You look beautiful.
He doesnât even know your name. But now, he wants to. More than anything, he wants the honour of knowing you.
Itâs free time now, and the history teacher had just left. Most of the class scatteredâsome heading out to the grounds, others roaming the halls for a little fun. But you stayed. You always stayed.
The thought of running into your stepsisters made your stomach turn. They acted so innocent the night you came home, as if they had nothing to do with your wound. Your stepmother, of course, scolded you for being late, hurling her usual cutting remarks, but she didnât dig any deeper. Sometimes you wondered if she knewâif she already suspected it was her daughters who had done it and simply chose to stay oblivious.
You sighed, flipping another page of your book, trying to block out the noise in your head.
The sudden sight of a chair being pulled up in front of your desk jolted you. You look up.
Huening Kai.
He was sitting right there, a small, easy smile on his face. His eyes held a kind of softness you werenât used to. And then, he waved.
Your eyes widened in surprise, and instinctively, you turned your head to check if he was talking to someone else. Surely, this wasnât for you. But the room was nearly empty. The only other person was fast asleep at the back.
Kai watches as you glance around nervously, he might have thought how beautiful you were from afar, but sitting this close nowâyouâre breathtaking.
When your eyes meet his again, questioning, he clears his throat and speaks. âHi.â
You nod, silentâattentive. His voice softens, deliberate as he says the next words slowly, âCan I have your name?â
It takes a moment for the meaning to click, and then youâre reaching for your bag, fingers fumbling slightly as you pull out a notebookâthe one you use to communicate.
Kai watches as you flip through the pages, landing on a blank one. You jot something down quickly and then turn it toward him.
Y/N.
He reads it, and a smile breaks across his face, his dimple appearing. You notice for the first time the delicate constellation of beauty marks scattered across his skin. How it suits him.
âY/N,â he repeats, your name rolling off his tongue like heâs trying it out for the first time. His gaze lifts to meet yours. âThatâs a pretty name.â
The compliment catches you off guard, and heat rises to your cheeks. You look awayâembarrassed. His fingers tap lightly on your desk, drawing your attention back.
âHow are you?â he asks.
You write, Iâm okay.
Kai reads it, his brows furrowing slightly. Without hesitation, he leans in, his voice low but insistent. âDoes anyone bother you? You know⌠when I found you that night. That wasnât an accident, was it?â
You stare at him, lips parting slightly in surprise. Kai thinks for a moment that maybe you didnât catch what he said. But then, slowly, you lift your pen: Why?
Just as he opens his mouth to explain, youâre already writing again.
Is it because you pity me? Youâre looking at him nowâdirectly, unflinchingly.
He doesn't want you to misunderstand anything. So he gently takes the pen from your hand, his fingers brushing yours for a moment. Without saying a word, he leans down and writes his response in your notebook.
Because I want to be your friend...
Your breath catches as you read his words. He adds another line beneath it, the letters a little bolder this time.
And because no one deserves what happened to you.
Kai looks at you then, his expression earnest and open, waiting. The notebook sits between you, and the sound of a new bridge forming in the back of your mind.
When you didn't write anything back, he glances down and picks up the pen again, his handwriting slow and deliberate.
By the way, my name isâ
Before he can finish, you reach forward, your hand brushing his ever so slightly making him freeze. You write, finishing it for him.
Kai. Right?
The faintest flicker of surprise crosses his face when he sees what youâve written. His lips twitch into a small smile, trying his hardest not to let out a wide grin.
You look up, meeting his gaze again, and shrug lightly as if to say, Of course, I know who you are.
Everybody knows you.
The words hang there on the page, Kai blinks, processing your response, and then lets out a soft laugh, his shoulders shaking gently, lips slightly apart.
You watch him, a strange ache tugs at your chest. You wonder, How does his laugh sound? Does it sound as pretty as he looks? Now, you're wishing for something youâve trained yourself not to wantâa window into the world youâve long been shut out of.
It'll be nice to hear his laugh.
The two of you spent the rest of your free time in that same spot. You talkedâor rather, wroteâfilling the pages of your notebook with conversation. He was surprisingly talkative, and before you knew it, you'd used up two blank pages. When the conversation naturally faded, you went back to your book, but this time, you pulled another one from your bag and handed it to Kai. He took it with a small smile and began to read as well.
There you were, two students, sitting across from each other, lost in your own worlds yet somehow sharing the same one. The room felt warmer, leaving just the two of you in the bubble. You were aware of the flush in your cheeks, the way it stubbornly lingered, but you didnât mind.
You snapped out of your thoughts when you noticed classmates filtering back into the room. Their steps slowed as they took in the sceneâKai, the schoolâs band guitarist, slouched in front of your desk, reading quietly across from you, the school's outcast. The deaf girl. His long legs stretched out under the desk, almost touching yours.
He didnât bother to look up. He didnât greet them or acknowledge the weight of their stares. Instead, his eyes stayed on the page, though every now and then, they flickered back to you. Each time, heâd give you that same small, reassuring smileâthe one that made your heart flutter.
He snapped out of it when your foot gently nudged his leg. The classroom was full now, with students bustling back to their seats, most kept stealing glances at Kai. Their eyes darted back and forth, curiosity written all over their faces, as if trying to make sense of why he was here with you.
Out of the corner, you saw Taehyun make his way over. You couldnât catch their conversationâTaehyunâs body was turned slightly awayâbut it was clear from his expression that he was asking why Kai was here. Kai gave him a brief nod, and after a moment, Taehyun returned to his seat, still throwing occasional glances in your direction.
You glanced at the clock. Five minutes left of free time. Before you could process it, you felt a light tap on your shoulder. Kai stood, waving a quick goodbye. He slid his hands into his pockets, all eyes on him as he walked out.
He had just spent his entire free time here. Here, with you.
You swallowed hard, your heart thudding in your chest. Your gaze drifted down the newly etched words he left in your notebook.
See you later :>
You found yourself smiling at nothing, the memory of your afternoon with Kai playing over and over in your mind. Back home now, the evening settling around you, it felt.. warm.
With a watering can in hand, you moved through the small gardenâyour motherâs garden. It was one of the few things left untouched by your stepmother, a living memory of the woman who once nurtured it with care. What had started as a modest patch of green had grown into something more of a sanctuary.
Your gaze fell on the cornflowers nearby, their vivid blue seeming to shine a little brighter today. Maybe it was the light, or maybe it was the joy still bubbling in your chest, making everything around you seem more⌠alive, more beautiful. You crouched, fingers brushing gently against the petals, and it felt like your mother was right there, as if she, too, could sense the happiness blooming inside you.
Your thoughts were abruptly cut off by an icy cascade of water, soaking you from head to toe. The coldness stole your breath, bit into your skin and you let out a shriek, the shock more than you could bear. Spinning around, you found Chae-won standing there, a smug grin plastered on her face, the empty bucket tossed carelessly to the side. Behind her, Yun-jin stood with her arms crossed, her glare sharp.
"Are you a witch now, too?" Chae-won sneered, her voice dripping with mockery. Her eyes locked onto yours, glinting with cruel satisfaction. "For someone who's deaf, you're pretty damn loud."
Before you could react, she grabbed a fistful of your hair, yanking you down with a force that sent you stumbling. Your knees hit the ground hard, the sting of the impact mixing with the cold that seeped into your clothes. You trembled, pain and humiliation washing over you.
"Kai? What did you say to him?" Chae-won continued. "What the fuck did you say to make him hang out with trash like you?"
Tears welled up in your eyes. You tried to stand, but Chae-won shoved you back down, making you cry out in frustration. You reached for her, desperate to defend yourself, but Yun-jin stepped in, pulling Chae-won away, smirking and enjoying your helplessness.
Chae-won then dusted off her shirt as if your touch had soiled her, letting out an exaggerated huff. "You better not think aboutâ"
Her threat was cut short by the arrival of your stepmother. "Chae-won," She approached, her eyes sweeping over your sodden form with a detached disapproval. "Her father might come home today."
That was enough to make Chae-won and Yun-jin roll their eyes, angrily retreating into the house, but not before casting you one last withering glare.
Your stepmother's gaze lingered on the garden, then flicked back to you, her expression unreadable. "Fix yourself," she said coldly before turning away, following her daughters inside, as if she just didn't witness them assault you.
You wiped your tears with the back of your hand. The cold water seeped into your skin, its touch biting deep, while the chill of the nightâs wind wrapped around you, amplifying the discomfort.
Whenâwhenâwould they ever stop? When would they finally fail to crush anything close to the hope you dared to feel? You swallowed hard, heart hurt when you saw one of the cornflowers crushed, the delicate blue petals were bent and broken, scattered across the dirt like they didnât matter.
Just like what they did to you.
Kai thrummed his guitar, his head bobbing in time with the beat as Jay kept pace on the drums. A wide grin spread across his face as he glanced at Jay, impressed. That guy could really play.
The upcoming festival had everyone excited, especially since their band was set to perform. It wasnât just their idea; the school had practically begged them to be part of the lineup. Naturally, everyone agreed.
As the final song ended, Kai slung his guitar strap off and gave Heeseung and Jay playful pats on the back. âGood session,â he said, voice light. Taehyun had already disappeared for some student council meeting, and Beomgyu crouched near the amp, fiddling with the cables.
As Heeseung and Jay left the practice room, Beomgyu glanced up, a sly smirk tugging at his lips. âSo⌠you caused quite a stir yesterday, huh.â
Kai paused, brow furrowing. âWhat are you talking about?â
Beomgyu leaned back, his arms crossed over his chest. âEveryoneâs talking about you and⌠the deaf girl. How you were hanging out with her.â
Kaiâs hand stilled on his guitar case. âDonât call her that,â he said sharply, âShe has a name.â
Beomgyu blinked, taken aback by the intensity of the glare Kai shot him. He raised his hands in mock surrender, smirk faltering. âWhoa, okay. Chill, man. That was disrespectful of me. I'm sorry.â Kai didnât respond, his focus shifting back to securing his guitar. The other could tell he was still irritated.
âSo,â Beomgyu's tone was now more careful. âWhatâs her name?â
Kai hesitated, his fingers pausing over the latch of the case. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter, âY/N.â
Beomgyu caught itâthe way Kaiâs whole demeanour shifted, softening just at the mention of your name. He grinned knowingly, a teasing glint in his eye.
âOh, man, youâve got it bad, huh?â Kai didnât answer, but the way he bit his lip, was enough. Beomgyu chuckled, shaking his head as he stood. âYouâre in deep, dude.â
The two of them walked out of the band room, sunlight streaming across the school grounds as they headed toward their next class. Kaiâs guitar hung over his back, his steps light with anticipation. He had a plan for todayâs free timeâhe was going to show it to you.
Then he froze.
âWhyâd you stop?â Beomgyu asked, frowning at his friendâs sudden halt.
Kaiâs gaze was locked on you. You were walking across the yard, a book clutched in your hand. But something was off. Your steps were uneven, almost shaky, like you were struggling to keep your balance. His chest tightened as he noticed you blink rapidly, expression dazed.
A cold knot of worry tightened in Kaiâs chest.
Kai bolted toward you, his long strides eating up the distance between you in moments. The world around him blurredâvoices, students, the sunâall of it drowned out by the urgency pounding in his chest. He reached you just as your legs gave up. You fell into his arms.
âHey, hey,â he murmured, voice shaking. His hand settled on your face, and the heat of your skin sent alarm bells ringing in his mind. Scorching hot. A fever.
Your eyes fluttered closed, forehead creased, and face was pale. Too pale.
âWhat the hell happened?â Beomgyuâs voice came from somewhere behind him, but Kai barely registered it. "Is she okay?"
Without thinking, Kai shrugged off his guitar, letting it drop carelessly to the ground. âHelp me,â he said quickly, his voice tight. He grabbed your arm, trying to shift your weight. Beomgyu caught on immediately, stepping forward to assist.
Together, they managed to lift you onto Kaiâs back. His arms hooked under your legs, his grip firm but gentle as he adjusted you. âHold on,â With you securely on his back, Kai broke into a run, his breath coming in quick.
âSlow down, man! Youâre gonna trip!â Beomgyu followed close behind, clutching the guitar Kai had abandoned without a second thoughtâbecause of you.
The school nurse moved quickly, her practiced hands checking your temperature and administering care as Kai stepped back, his chest still heaving from the run. He stood there, hands on his hips, watching you, his heart refusing to slow down. Beomgyu excused himself, talks about getting water, leaving Kai alone.
His eyes fell on the notebook you had been clutching, which fell on the floor. He reached for it carelesslyâa loose page slipped free, back to the floor. He crouched to pick it up, and the moment he turned it over, his breath caught.
It was a sketch. Of him.
Every detail was there, drawn with painstaking precisionâthe dusting of freckles on his cheeks, small moles he often forgot about, his jawline, his hair. The lines were sure, as though you had poured hours into capturing him just⌠right.
His throat tightened as he stared, unable to tear his eyes away. Was this really how you saw him?
Kai swallowed hard, and glanced at the rest of the page. Small sketches of cats bordered the margins, their playful forms lightening the otherwise focused artwork. A soft smile enters his lips when his eyes also land on your pen, its barrel adorned with tiny cat designs. His fingers touch the paper, careful not to smudge your work.
You're perfect, he thought, the words echoing in his head, shouting like a whispered confession. How could someone be so perfect?
Kai had to leave you at the clinic to attend classes.
He hesitated, lingering by the door, his eyes darting back to your still form on the cot. You were fast asleep, but the colour slowly returned to your cheeks. He wanted to stay, to make sure you were okay, but he knew he couldnât. With a defeated sigh, he left. And you were gone when he returned.
"Someone came to fetch her," the nurse explained when he asked. He's still bothered. You were home now, he told himself, safe and resting. Right?
The next morning came, he sat at the kitchen counter. What he wanted to do first thing, was to see you. "Hiyyih,"
She glanced at him over her shoulder, her brow raised. "Yeah?"
"Can you, uh⌠can you make my lunch today?" Hiyyih stopped, turning fully to face him. "What? But I always make your lunch."
Kai shifted in his seat, awkwardly. "I mean⌠could you make it like yours?"
"Like mine? What do you mean, like mine?"
Kai hesitated, the words sticking in his throat. Finally, he blurted out, "The cat rice balls. Can you add those?" There was silence as Hiyyih stared at him, her lips tight. Then, she broke into a slow, knowing smirk. "Cat rice balls, huh?"
Kai felt the heat up his neck, and he quickly averted his stare. "Justâjust make them, okay?" He groaned, dropping his head onto the counter.
Hiyyih burst out laughing, her teasing ringing through. Oh, he's sure. This was going to haunt him for days.
Kai spent the day in restless anticipation, his usual self replaced with something far more jittery. Even his friends couldnât ignore it. He fidgeted during class, zoned out at times, and seemed to barely hear what anyone was saying.
It was all because of you.
When he saw Taehyun at band practice earlier, the first words out of his mouth werenât about music. âIs she coming today?â
Taehyun had nodded, confirming you were attending class, and Kai had been tryingâand failingâto calm his racing thoughts ever since. By lunchtime, the decision was made. He slung his bag over his shoulder, he turned to Beomgyu. "Iâm skipping the cafeteria today."
Beomgyu just gave him a knowing look, his smirk light, teasing. "Didnât think you needed to explain," he points out. "Your face already did."
Kai didnât even bother denying it. Instead, he took a steadying breath and headed toward the one place he knew heâd find you. Your classroom.
His steps slowed when he spotted you inside, seated at your desk. The heaviness in his chest lifts. You were pulling open a lunch box, carefully arranging everything, your expression calm and focused.
He stepped inside, and when he was almost infront of you, you glanced up, your eyes widening slightly when you saw him.
"Hi," Kai said, a small, nervous smile sitting on his lips. You blinked, surprised, but a faint smile broke through as you set your chopsticks down.
He scratched the back of his neck, suddenly feeling warm under your gaze. "I, uh⌠I figured Iâd check on you. Make sure youâre okay, you know⌠after the other day."
You nod, reaching for your notebook to write a reply, but Kai gently stopped you with a small shake of his hand. âYou should eat first, okay?â he said softly, his lips forming the words carefully for you to read.
Your response was simpleâa quick thumbs-upâbut it was enough to make a boyish grin spread across his face.
Pulling out a chair, Kai sat across from you, his movements just a little nervous, though he tried to hide it. He set his lunchbox on the table, the bright cat decorations catching your eye. It's hard to really miss how much effort had gone into itâcat-shaped rice balls, tiny details, and colourful accents that screamed effort.
Kai caught your expression. "Hiyyih made it," he admitted. What he didnât mention was how heâd spent an entire morning persuading her to make it perfect, offering bribes, doing her chores, and enduring her teasing, all just to get her to agree.
He opened the lid and carefully moved a portion of the food into your lunchbox. "Here," he said, nudging it toward you.
You glanced at him in surprise, then back at the food, your lips parting slightly before they curved into a smileâa real smile. Not the polite, hesitant ones you used to give him, but a full, bright smile. It reached your eyes, crinkling them at the corners.
Kai froze for a moment, his breath catching in his throat. Youâd smiled at him before, but not... like this.
He had never quite understood why his sister went to such lengths with these little creationsâwhy she got up before sunrise to shape rice into animals or why her mood seemed to brighten whenever someone praised her work. But now, watching the way your face softened, the way your smile seemed to linger longer than usual, it all started to make sense.
If something as small and silly as this could make you look at him like this, if it could bring you even the smallest bit of joy, then he thought to himselfâheâd start doing it too.
Swallowing, he picked up his chopsticks, forcing himself to eat even as his appetite felt oddly⌠irrelevant. He stole glances, and it struck him how happy you looked. The memory of when heâd first met you flashed in his mind, alone, wounded and withdrawn. And yet, here you were now.
His stomach fluttered, suddenly feeling fullânot from the meal but from something that only your smile seemed to give.
After lunch, Kai didnât get the chance to spend his free time with you. Beomgyu practically dragged him to practice, which he didnât resistâespecially since seeing you healthy and smiling had already lifted his spirits. His energy during practice was unmatched, his fingers flying over the guitar strings with a renewed vigour. For once, it felt effortless, like his heart was finally in sync with the music again.
When the day wound down, he found himself waiting by the school gates. A few students greeted him as they passed, and he returned their smiles politely, though his attention remained elsewhere. His heart leapt the moment he spotted you walking toward him, your steps purposeful yet light. His lips curved into a small smirk before he could help it.
"I wanted to see you before you went home," he said softly.
Your smile in response made his chest tighten, and you pulled a small notepad and pen from your pocket. After a brief moment of scribbling, you held it up for him to read:
Thank you for everything, Kai.
The simple words hit him harder than he expected, and a warm smile tugged at his lips. âYou waiting for your sisters here?â he asked, but as soon as he mentioned them, your smile faltered slightly, and something shifted in your expression.
He remembered Taehyun mentioning that you had two sisters at school, but nothing beyond that. He didnât press. All he knew was that you usually arrived and left together in the same car.
You scribbled another note. They went home early. Shopping, I think.
Kaiâs brows furrowed slightly. Why didnât they wait for you? Before he could ask, you were already writing your next reply.
Iâll take the bus today.
âLet me take you home,â he said, leaving no room for argument.
The bus was packed, and you followed Kai closely as he led the way. He glanced back, his eyes searching for something until they landed on an empty window seat. With a small nudge of his shoulder, he gestured for you to take it.
Sliding into the seat, you couldnât help but notice how his arm brushed against yours as he stood beside you, gripping the rail overhead. He leaned down slightly, reaching for the notepad in your hands. His handwriting was a little crooked, he had written quickly, but his message was clear:
Are you okay?
You nodded and took the pen to write your response. Yes.
Satisfied, he smiled. He reaches out, hooking his pinky finger to yours. It stays there, throughout the ride. One that you wished that didn't have to end.
Kaiâs eyes widened when you gestured toward your home.
Sure, his own house was comfortableâhis family could provide everything he neededâbut this? This was on another level. Massive gates, the sprawling estate beyond them, the kind of place that practically screamed wealth, grand estate that made him feel like heâd stepped onto the set of a drama. His thoughts stumbled over themselves as the realization hit: you were a chaebol.
And yet, the thought lingered in his mind: how could they leave you to manage on your own, just because your sisters decided to go out? The question sat uncomfortably in his chest, though he kept it to himself.
You turned to him, drawing his attention back to you. Standing there, you looked up at him, your figure small against his tall, broad frame. He looked so effortlessly handsome it made your chest ache. You wished, fleetingly, to reach out and run your fingers through those dark locks, to feel their texture beneath your hands. He had done so much for you todayâmore than you could put into words.
See you later?
Kai read it, his lips quirking into a gentle smile.âGo inside,â he said, tapping your head softly. âSee you later.â
As you turned and walked toward the house, he stayed rooted to the spot, watching your retreating figure until you disappeared through the gates. He let out a quiet breath he hadnât realized he was holding, his heart beating steadily against his ribs.
He could do this every day, he thought. Waiting for you, walking you home, making sure you were safe. He wanted to do this every day, however many days, as long as youâd let him.
After sending you home, Kai steps into a familiar bookstore, and the scent of old paper hits his face.
The owner greets him, casually mentioning the new volume of Slam Dunk just released, but Kai doesnât even register the words. Heâs already moving past, heading toward the back of the store where the shelves are less familiar.
He stops in front of a sectionâfar away from the music books, the theory guides, and mangas. He picks it up.
Beginners: Sign Language.
You closed the door behind you, the weight in your chest heavier than it shouldâve been. Dinner was supposed to be a happy time, right? Eating with your family, sharing moments. But it never felt like that for you. Not in this house.
Your eyes caught the sight of the fax machine on the side table, a piece of paper hanging loosely from the tray. You walk over, your steps slow, uncertain. Only two people know your number: your dad, and⌠Kai. You grabbed the paper, the handwriting unmistakable.
Come out. Will be there in 20 mins. âKai.
Your breath caught. Dinner had taken longer than that. You scrambled to the window, heart pounding, and there he wasâa silhouette against the dim streetlights, a mess of dark hair leaning casually against the gate.
You didnât hesitate. Grabbing your pen and notepad from the desk, you ran. The startled looks of the housemaids blurred past you, and even the sharp, judgmental gaze of your stepmother from the couchâteacup poised mid-sipâcouldnât stop you. She doesnât matter right now. Nothing does but getting to him.
You burst through the front gates, your eyes locking with his. His face breaks into a soft, immediate smile when he sees you, the sight of you in your loose shirt and pyjamas makes his heart skip a beat.
You raise your notepad, writing quickly, then holding it up for him to see. What are you doing here?
You reach for your notepad and pen, the confusion evident on your face as you extend them toward him. But instead of taking them, his hands move, and the world around you seems to pause.
"Hi." His fingers shape the sign, hesitant, uncertain. Your heart stumbles as you watch his hand move again, spelling out your name, letter by letter, in sign language. Itâs slow, almost clumsy, but every movement is intentional. Heâs trying, and it sends your heart racing.
"How was yourâ" He falters mid-sign, his hands falling to his sides. You watch as he digs into his pocket, pulling out a small book. The title catches your eye, and your chest tightens. He scratches the back of his neck, looking at you with an embarrassed sort of determination as he mouths, Wait.
And then he tries again, repeating the signs, "How was your dinner?" His movements are a little smoother this time. The question lingers in the space between you, and you feel your throat tighten as tears prick at the corners of your eyes. It feels like you can hearâhis voice.
Your body moves before you can think. You step forward and wrap your arms around his neck. Your head presses against his chest, and you feel the slight hitch in his breath before his arms slide around your waist, holding you close. His warmth steadies you as a single tear slips free, trailing down your cheek.
No one had ever done this for you before. No one had ever tried to meet you in your silence, to understand the world you lived in. At home, theyâd dismissed sign language, rejected it, treating it like some kind of shameful reminder of what they wanted to ignore. Theyâd made you feel like you were something to be hidden, something that's less.
But here he wasâa boy who, just weeks ago, had been a strangerâbridging the gap, pouring himself into learning just to reach you. Crossing the distance to meet you where you were alone.
For the first time, you didnât feel stranded on an island of your own.
Kai spent the next few minutes basking in the warmth of your presence. When another tear slipped past your eye, he reached out, his thumb brushing it away with the gentleness of someone afraid to break something precious. His attempts at signing sentences were clumsy at best, and your happiness marked your faceâsomething that made his heart do flips.
"Yah, I'm trying, you know," he huffed, feigning indignation as he stomped his foot playfully. His pout only deepened when you smiled at him, and he could feel the heat crawling up his neck to his cheeks. He wanted to tease you back, but the words caught in his throat when you raised your hands.
It was the first time you signed in front of him. The motion was small but deliberate, the flick of your hand touching your chin before extending toward him. Kaiâs eyebrows knit together, his mind scrambling to catch up. He flipped the pages of his book, muttering, âWait, what does that mean?â
You reached for your notepad, scribbling the word: Thank you.
Before he could process the words, you signed again, your hands moving with a fluidity that stopped him in his tracks. The glow of the moon and the faint light from the lamppost illuminated your every move, casting soft dancing shadows across your face. And Kaiâhe forgot how to breathe.
You looked⌠different. You were stunning. Not the shy, hesitant version of you heâd grown used to, but confident and sure. Each gesture was almost poetic, and he was utterly mesmerized. The way your fingers moved felt like a song without soundâit suited you in a way words never could. He didnât even want to blink, because he was afraid heâd miss something.
All he could do was watch, completely captivated by the real you.
"You didn't really have to. But thank you⌠for learning it for me."
The moment was shattered by the loud creak of the gates swinging open. Kai turned, his gaze meeting a womanâs sharp, glaring eyes. He opened his mouth to bow in greeting, but he quickly realized her scowl wasnât for himâit was directed squarely at you.
Confused, Kai glanced back at you, his eyes scanning your face. Panic was written all over it. You hastily scribbled on your notepad, the letters uneven and rushed: Step-mother. Go home now, Kai.
He read the words and nodded, even if he didnât fully grasp the situation. When your eyes met his again, there was something pleading in them. Turning back to the woman, Kai mustered a polite bow. âGood evening,â
She didnât acknowledge him. âGo inside or weâll lock you out here all night.â
Kai froze, the words almost too cruel to believe. He remembers you being locked up that night at school. His jaw clenched, but he kept his expression neutral, eyes flicking back to you. You were already scribbling again: Good night. Be safe travelling home.
He noticed something thenâwhy hadnât you signed it? Heâd learned those words, and he knew you knew them too. But he didnât ask, didnât want to add to your distress. Instead, he nodded silently, stepping forward to close the distance between you. He bent down and pressed a light, lingering kiss to your hairline. A small gesture to remind you that he was here, even if he had to leave now. "See you later."
When he straightened, he turned to your stepmother, who was staring at him with thinly veiled disdain. Kai met her gaze, nodded politely, and then stepped back.
He didnât look away until he saw you retreat inside.
The gates slammed shut with a force that rattled him. Your stepmother's tone echoed in his ears, harsh and dripping with contempt. He hated the way sheâd spoken to you, the way her eyes had looked at you as though you did something so wrong.
He walked away, fists clenched at his sides. The thought of you living in a house with someone like that left a bitter taste in his mouth.
Kai reunited with you the next day.
He carefully tried to bring up the encounter with your stepmother, but you avoided the topic entirely. He didnât push, though. Instead, he quietly accepted it when you told him you lived with her, your stepsisters, and that your father was out of town on business. He said heâd waitâthat heâd listen when you were ready to open up, when you felt comfortable.
Now, heâs on his way to the band room, arriving half an hour early for practice. His hand is wrapped around yours as he pulls you along. The soft warmth of your fingers in his feels just right. Students pass by, glancing your way, but Kai doesnât care. Not when youâre here with him.
You agreed to come, though you werenât sure what to expect. When you step into the room, your eyes widen. Trophies line the shelves, instruments are arranged neatly against the walls, and thereâs a large, inviting couch in the corner. There's also a small door that must lead to a private bathroom.
Kai settles you on the couch, his lips curving into a gentle smile as he pulls his guitar out of its case. He tells you he wanted you to see this. He also mentions the upcoming festival in two daysâa subtle invitation in his words.
As he strums the first notes, your eyes are drawn to him. The memory of the first time you saw Kai surfacesâyour second year of high school. That day, he was being calmed down by Soobin, the bandâs previous genius pianist. Even then, he left an impression so strong that you couldnât forget him, no matter how much time had passed.
Now, sitting here in the band room as he plays his guitar for you, it feels surreal. If someone had told you back then that this would happen, youâd have laughed it off or called it impossible. But here you are, and he glances up, his eyes flickering between the strings and your face.
"I like it," you sign.
Kaiâs face lights up. He reaches for somethingâyour eyes are drawn to his hands. There, faint guitar scars run across his fingers, etched into his skin like a map of all the hours heâs poured into his craft.
An idea enters your mind.
Two days later, the school day comes to an end. You quietly pack your belongings, slipping books and papers into your bag as the chatter of students fills the room. The festival is less than an hour away. Youâre just about to zip up your bag when movement near the doorway catches your attention.
Choi Beomgyu steps into the classroom, his eyes scanning the room like heâs on a mission. You glance at him curiously as Taehyun notices and stands up, greeting him with a nod then points in your direction. Beomgyu makes his way over with Taehyun trailing behind him. "Hi, Y/N," he signs, the motion catching you completely off guard. Your eyes widen in surprise. Did Kai teach him that? Did he teach both of them?
Before you can even process the thought, Beomgyu hands you a folded shirt. You take it hesitantly, inspecting it as the fabric unfurls in your hands. The moment you see the name Huening Kai printed boldly on the back, your heart skips. Itâs his band shirt.
âHeâll love it,â Beomgyu says, a small grin tugging at his lips and winks. He reaches out, lightly tapping your head like itâs the most casual thing in the world. Without another word, he throws an arm around Taehyunâs shoulders, and the two of them leave the classroom together. Some girls in your room look at you with dirty looks. It matters not, you'll have to change your shirt first.
Kaiâs eyes catch on your shirt almost instantly, his pace slowing as he closes the distance between you.
Confusion flits across his face, but then realization dawns. His band shirt. His name, his number on your back. His eyes widen in disbelief, and he lets out a laugh.
When youâre close enough, he reaches out, gently turning you around so he can see the full print. His fingers linger lightly on your shoulders. His grin widens, a mix of pride and something softer that you canât quite name.
âYouâll watch, right?â he asks. His throat feels tight, and itâs not just the sight of you in his shirtâitâs everything it means.
You nod, slowly reaching into your pocket, pulling out a small gift box. You hold it out to him, âFor me?â he asks softly, taking it with both hands.
When he opens the box, his breath catches in his throat. Inside are guitar picks, each one smooth and carefully chosen, but what draws his attention is the tiny, handwritten phrase etched onto them. He squints, his eyes narrowing slightly as he tilts the pick closer to the light.
See you later.
The phrase so familiar, a staple in all your goodbyes. Itâs what he always waits to hear from you, what he secretly pouts about if you forget to say it. Itâs a simple phrase, used by so many people in passing, but between the two of you, itâs differentâreassurance that youâll always find your way back to each other.
His chest tightens, emotion welling up in a way he hadnât expected. He steps forward, pulls you into a hug, holding you close, his chin resting on your head. "What do I do with you?" He whispers to himself. He finally pulls back, his hands linger at your elbows, eyes searching yours. You lift your hands to sign, your movements slow.
"Good luck, rock star."
Soobinâs hand rested on your back, touch steadying as the crowd began to thicken around the stage. Kai had entrusted you to him and Yeonjun, and though the absence of Kaiâs presence made you nervous, Soobinâs calm demeanour offered an unexpected sense of safety.
Yeonjun had gone to grab water, leaving you and Soobin to hold your place by the barricade. The festival was just moments away from starting, with students from your school, other schools, and alumni who had come back for the event. You found yourself gripping the metal tightly, the unfamiliar place⌠overwhelming. It's your first time to even attend one.
Soobin noticed immediately. He tapped your shoulder gently, âAre you okay?â
You turned to him, his concern reflected in his face. You nodded, returning a small smile. His kindness felt natural. You could see why Kai spoke of him so fondly.
You barely had time to respond before you were pulled into a sudden hug. The embrace was tight, and a sweet floral scent filled your senses. You froze in surprise, but when the person stepped back, the grin on her face was so bright and genuine that you couldnât help but soften.
âHi! Iâm Hiyyih!â she exclaimed, her face full of excitement, her eyes shining like sheâd been waiting forever to meet you. Her name made you pause, recognition flashing through your mind. Your eyes widened slightly, but you smiled back at her, quickly scribbling in your notepad.
Y/N. Nice to meet you, Hiyyih.
She read it, and immediately squealed, her reaction so heartfelt and full of life that it drew laughter from Soobin. âHow did my brother pull you, huh?â she teased, shaking her head in disbelief. Then, with mock irritation, she turned to Soobin and added, âSeriously, how?â
Soobin chuckled, clearly amused. âI know. She's too pretty. Magic, maybe,â he offered casually, and Hiyyih groaned dramatically. She hooked her arm through yours, as if youâd known each other for years. You're glad they didn't mention the blush evident on your cheeks.
Yeonjun returned, handing you a cold bottle of water. âYou okay?â he asked, his tone just as kind and considerate as Soobinâs had been. You nodded again, clutching the water tightly as you looked between them allâHiyyihâs bright enthusiasm, Soobinâs quiet reassurance, and Yeonjunâs laid-back charm. It feels nice to be surrounded by people you want to be with.
You could get used to this. Being with people who made you feel like you matteredâmore than your own family ever had.
It was dark now, the festival lit only by the vibrant glow of stage lights, casting shifting colours across the crowd. The ground trembled beneath your feet as people jumped and swayed, their cheers blending with the music in an electrifying symphony.
Your eyes scanned the stage, searchingâand then you saw him. Kai. There he was, guitar in hand, lost in the music. The way he moved was effortless as if the instrument was an extension of himself. His face was lit up, not just by the stage lights but by a joy that radiated from within. He looked alive. Happy. He belonged there. He owns it.
And then his eyes found yours.
The chaos around you seemed to fade. Slowly, you signed, "You look cool," your hands steady even as your heart raced. You watched as his gaze followed the movement of your hands, his eyes softening with every word you formed. You didnât need to be close to him. You didnât need to hear his voice. As long as you could see himâand he could see you.
His lips curved into a smile, and he winked, the playful gesture making you smile back, heart swelling with pride.
The performance was incredible, each member of the band owning their moment, their energy filling the space and igniting the crowd. When the last song ended, the crowd erupted into cheers, and the band bowed together, camaraderie evident even from a distance. But before you could fully take in the scene, Kai was running.
The moment he stepped off the stage, his eyes searched for your face. His shoulders eased as soon as he saw you, surrounded by people he trusts. He loves performingâhe truly does. But the thought of returning to you, is louder than any applause. His feet move before his mind can think.
Straight to you.
He reached you in seconds, his chest heaving, adrenaline still coursing through him. "I can't stop looking at you,â he said, his voice low, the words had been waiting to escape all night. His hands cradled your face, calloused by the guitar scars. "I need to kiss you right now or I'll go crazy."
You barely noticed the stares of the crowd or the murmurs of those nearby. All you could see was him. He leaned in, his breath mingling with yours, and his lips brushed against yours in the softest kiss. Youâd always known his lips looked soft, but they still managed to surprise youâhow perfectly they fit against yours.
When he pulled back, his grin was so wide. His arms wrapped around you tightly, holding you close as if you were the only thing that mattered. Around you, his friends clapped him on the back, their faces proud with congratulations.
âSee you later?â Kai signed, his movements fluid, more confident. You nodded with a smile, waving as he stepped back. His grin widened, and he watched you enter the gates of your home.
That smile lingered on your face, carrying you all the way inside. The front doors opened for you, the maids greeting you with quiet bows, and you headed for the staircase, ready to retreat to your room.
But before you could take the first step, a hand seized your wrist and yanked you back. The slap came next, sharp and sudden, leaving a sting that spread across your cheek like fire. Startled, your hand flew to your face, and your wide, disbelieving eyes met the furious glare of your stepmother.
âYou skipped your painting lesson,â she hissed, face trembling with anger, âand came home late without even telling me.â
âAnd what for?â she spat. âTo loiter with boys? To parade yourself in public, chatting in sign language for the entire neighbourhood to see? What else do you have left to ruin? Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is for the family?â Her voice grew louder, shriller, her hand resting on her hip as she glared at you like you were something she could barely tolerate.
You noticed your stepsisters standing just out of the line. Equal anger on their faces. It was clearâthey had told her. Once, their expressions had the power to make you shrink, to make you doubt yourself. Now you felt nothing but disdain. Family, you thought bitterly, scoffing as you turned your head away.
Your stepmotherâs hand shot out, grabbing your chin and jerking your face back toward hers. Her nails bit into your skin as she snarled, âDid you laugh? How dare you laugh at me?â
You shoved her hand away. âDonât touch me,â you signed, your movements sharp, gaze unwavering. You didnât care that she couldnât understand. This was the only way you could speak, and you were tired of swallowing your voice.
Her face twisted with fury. âI said stop using sign language!â she barked.
You didnât flinch. Instead, you signed again, your hands trembling. âIâm not alone anymore,â you told her, the tears burning at the edges of your vision. âYou can be the queen of this house, control everything and everyone under this roof. But thereâs a world outside these walls. And out there, I have friends. People who see me. People who care.â
âTalk! Talk like a proper person! I told you to talk!â The slap came hard and fast, snapping your head to the side. Your cheek burned with the impact, but this time, you didnât freeze. You pushed her. Hard.
The room erupted with a collective gasp.
âTouch me again, and youâll see your name in the newspaper.â Your glare shifted to Chae-won as she stepped forward, her mouth opening to speak, but you didnât wait to hear what she had to say.
You bolted up the stairs, your heart hammering in your chest, panic fueling every frantic step.
The space felt thick as you threw yourself into your room, slamming the door shut behind you. You moved toward your desk, your hands shaking as you tore your bag open, yanking out a piece of paper. You didnât have time to think, only enough to scrawl a desperate message, the words barely legible through the blur of your haste.
The door creaked open behind you. Panic surged. You turned, your pulse pounding as you spotted themâthe maids stepping into the room. You bolted to the fax machine, shoving the paper in and frantically typing his number. You had to send it. You had to.
The machine whirred, halfway through sending, when two pairs of hands grabbed you, one on each arm. You thrashed and kicked, trying to wrench free, but their grip was too strong. Your stepmother appeared in the doorway, her smirk was cruel, triumphant, and your stomach churned with dread.
And then you saw itâthe glint of metal in her hands. Locks.
"Get her upstairs. Now." Your breath caught in your throat. The room seemed to tilt as a memory surged forward, unbidden and suffocating. The attic. The last time she locked you up, you were fifteen. Your skin crawled at the thought of being trapped there again. You were dragged out, your feet sliding against the floor, your cries echoing down the empty hall. It took three of themâthree people to overpower you, until the door loomed.
They shoved you inside, your body hitting the floor with a dull thud. You scrambled to your feet, lunging for the door, but it slammed shut in your face. You pounded on the door, fists aching, tears burning behind your eyes. It was harder for you to breathe.
This was her punishmentâher way of crushing you every time you dared to fight back, dared to speak your truth.
Sheâd leave you here, in the dark, in the suffocating silence, until you broke. Until you admitted she was right. Or until your fatherâs nearing return forced her to let you out, pretending everything was fine.
You had tried to tell him before. Slipping notes into his pockets, scribbling messages when she wasnât looking. But her eyes were always there, sharp and watchful, snatching away every chance you had. You canât help but wonderâif you hadnât stood up to her, if you hadnât accepted that small, fleeting chance to feel alive, would you still be here right now? Or would you just be trapped in another kind of prison, shackled to the cycle your stepmother has forced you into?
Dust coated every surface, the faint light that seeped through the cracks wasnât even enough to pierce the gloom to give you hope. You curled up against the wall, knees pulled to your chest, fingers trembling as they pressed against the cold floor. It was something that you had to endure before.
For years.
Kai was running.
He didnât care about the stares from strangers or the disapproving grunt as he ran the streets. He didnât care about his motherâs worried gaze when he bolted out the door or the sting of his lungs from sprinting so fast. None of it mattered. All that mattered was getting to you.
The fax had come just minutes ago. He had been half-asleep when the machine whirred, spitting out a crumpled piece of paper with words that sent a shrill down his spine.
Kai, pick me up. Come get me, please. He knew it was you.
His heart pounded as he reached your gates, the mansion unwelcoming under the grey sky. He rang the door frantically, and when a maid opened the door, her polite greeting barely had time to escape her lips before Kai pushed past her.
âSir, what are you doing?â she cried, alarmed. But Kai didnât stop. He pushed through the grand double doors, his eyes scanning the room wildly. His gaze landed on a young woman, about his ageâyour stepsister, he realized with a flare of anger.
âWhereâs Y/N?â he demanded, his voice booming through the space. The room fell silent. The maids froze, glancing at one another nervously, while your stepsister stiffened, her lips tightening into a scowl. âWhere is she?â Kai shouted again, taking a step forward. A timid maid finally cracked, her wide eyes darting toward the stairs before quickly looking away. It was all he needed.
Kai took off, his legs carrying him up the staircase two steps at a time. As he neared the top, he heard itâa faint pounding, far but desperate. His blood ran cold as realization struck.
The attic.
Kaiâs chest tightened as he reached the door. His fist slammed against the wood, the sound reverberating down the hall. The pounding on the other side grew more. His heart felt like it might tear itself apart.
âOpen this door!â he says, spinning to face the maids who had followed him upstairs. âWhat the hell is wrong with you people? Do you want to go to prison for this? Do you want to be accomplices?â The maid whoâd glanced upstairs earlier flinched, her hands shaking as she fumbled with a key.
Finally, the lock clicked, and he shoved the door open. His breath caught as he saw you huddled on the floor, your arms wrapped tightly around your knees, your face streaked with tears. âY/N,â he breathed, rushing to you.
"You found me." You signed, eyes locking on his. He crouched, his arms wrapping around your trembling frame. He pulled you close, his hand smoothing over your hair as he held you against his chest.
âItâs okay,â he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. âIâm getting you out of this place.â His eyes darted around the attic, taking in the oppressive walls, scattered drawingsâsketches you mustâve made. Some looks old, others newer. They had been locking you up here. Trapping you.
Kai stood, pulling you with him, âCome on,â his hand tightened around yours, and you nodded.
He led you down the stairs, his grip never faltering. At the bottom, your stepmother appeared, her expression twisting into one of fury the moment she saw him.
âDo you even realise what youâre doing right now?â she demanded, her voice sharp and grating. âThis is kidnapping. Do you have any idea how much trouble youâre in?â
Kai didnât flinch. He didnât hesitate. His voice was steady, cold, and razor-sharp. âNot as serious as imprisonment. Or abuse.â
Her lips curled into a mocking sneer. âIâm disciplining her,â she spat, as if the word justified everything.
Your stepmotherâs eyes flicked to you as your hands moved, signing. âYouâre hurting me.â
Her face darkened. âHow many times do I have to tell you to stop signing?â
Kai froze, his mind reeling at her words. âWhat?â he said, voice low. His jaw tightened as he stared at her, fury building in his chest. âHow do you expect her to communicate if she canât speak?â
She sneered. âReturn her inside while Iâm still asking nicely,â
âNo,â Kai snapped, he turned to her fully, standing tall and unyielding. âIâm not talking to you. Tell her father, when he finally gets home, to come find me personally if he wants to see his daughter again. And donât even think about stopping me. My mother knows Iâm here.â
Your stepmother opened her mouth to argue, but Kai didnât give her the chance. He turned away, tugging you along behind him as he strode toward the door. His glare silenced any maids who dared step forward, daring anyone to challenge him.
âIf you walk out that door,â your stepmother hissed, âyouâll regret it.â
Kai didnât stop. He didnât even look back.
The cool night air hit your skin as he pulled you through the gates and into the street. He didnât care about her threats. He didnât care about what came next. The only thing he knew wasâhe would regret it far more if he didnât leave with you tonight.
When the two of you arrived at Kaiâs home, his mother was already at the door, her face filled with concern. The moment she saw you, her eyes softened, but they couldnât hide the shock and sadness she felt at your condition. âOh, sweetheart,â she said gently, ushering you inside with open arms. âLetâs get you settled.â
She led you to a spare room, âThis was Leaâs room,â she explained with a small smile. âKaiâs sister. Sheâs away at college now, so itâs all yours for as long as you need.â
Kai, stepped outside, pacing the front yard. His hands clenched and unclenched, breathing unevenly as he tried to calm himself. âHow could they do that to her? As human beings?â he spits, in disbelief. âEven animals wouldnât treat someone like that.â
His mother followed him out, gently placing a hand on his arm. âKai, breathe,â she said softly. âShe needs space to process everything right now.â
Kai shook his head, âWhat you did was good,â his mother continued. âLet her stay here for now. Sheâs safe with us.â
âAnd what happens when her father comes back?â Kai snapped, âWhat then? She just gets sent back to that place?â
His mother sighed, her grip on his arm steady. âKai, itâs obvious he doesnât know whatâs been happening. Do you think any father would knowingly allow this?â
âThat man, he lives in the same house as her. How does he not know? Heâs either blind or he doesnât care because all he does is make money and turn ignorant to everything else.â
His mother stepped closer, pulling him into a hug before he could spiral further. âItâs not your place to decide what kind of father he is, or if she should forgive him. Thatâs up to her. Right now, she needs rest.â
You sat curled up on the edge of the bed, knees pulled tightly to your chest, your back pressed into the corner. Your fingers picked at your nailbeds. Every breath you took felt shaky, like you were on the verge of falling apart.
It was the first time youâd ever stood up to themâto that whole oppressive house. The weight of it settled heavily on your chest, but more than that, you worried about Kai. About his family. Would they be okay with you here? What if they went after Kai or his family for taking you in? Would your presence bring trouble to their door? You felt like a curse, dragging misfortune wherever you went.
The sight of the door sliding open startled you. You looked up to see Kaiâs mom stepping in, her form soft in the dim light. She carried a stack of clothes in her hands, a small smile on her face.
âHiyyihâs already asleep, so I had to grab these for you,â she said, setting it down in front of you. âThese are LeaâsâKaiâs sister. Iâm not sure if youâll like them, but I thought these might fit you.â
You nodded silently, your heart pounding as you glanced at her. You could not shake the fear that she might say youâd put Kai in danger, that bringing you here was a mistake. Or how much trouble you mightâve caused him. The guilt plague, making your stomach turn.
She didnât say anything at first, just sat there, her gaze soft and thoughtful. Then her smile widened, and her eyes crinkled at the corners like Kai does. âGosh, youâre so pretty,â she said, as if she was stating the most obvious fact in the world. âLook at your eyesâtheyâre so clear, so bright.â Her words made your breath hitch.
âNot being able to talk must be so hard,â she continued, face replaced with sadness. âYou mustâve felt so upset. So frustrated.â She moved closer, her hands reaching for yours. Her touch was warm, and something about it made the tears in your eyes sting even more.
âBut you did such a good job, honey,â she said, her voice breaking slightly. âGrowing up into such a beautiful, strong young lady.â Her thumb gently brushed the back of your hand, and she smiled again, âIâm proud of you.â
Her words shattered something inside you, breaking through the walls youâd tried so hard to keep up. You bit down on your lip, but it was no use. The tears slipped free, rolling down your cheeks.
âIf anyone ever hurts you again, if anyone tries to trap you, you come here,â she said firmly, her tone shifting to one of conviction. âDonât ever put up with it. Just come back here. Or stay here and live with me." She grinned at the thought, expression animated, like it was the simplest solution in the world.
You couldnât hold it back anymore. You cried, your shoulders trembling as the sobs punished your body. All the days you had endured in silence. The days they made you feel invisible, like you didnât matter. The way they looked at you, spoke about you, treated you, as though you were something other, something different. Not belonging. Not normal.
"Don't cry," She pulled you into her arms, holding you tightly as she rubbed your back in soothing circles. You were starting to see it wasnât true. Starting to believe. And her embrace is so⌠familiar. It was like holding onto a memory youâd been too afraid to revisitâthe one youâd clung to as a lifeline but had started to fade, little by little.
It felt like you were eight again, back in timeâcradled in your motherâs warm arms.
Kai stood at your door, it's been an hour when he saw his mother leaving, her eyes red from crying. She had tried to reassure him to give you space, to let you be alone tonightâbut Kai's heart couldnât rest. He knocked softly before slipping inside.
You were facing away from him, the sheets pulled up high against your body. He walked over, unsure of what to expect, and tapped a single finger on your shoulder to check if you were awake. You shifted and glanced back at him, your face still soft with the remnants of tears.
He offered a small smile, his hands signing softly, âHi.â
You didnât respond with words instead, you scooted over, making room for him on the bed. He slid in beside you, leaving just enough space between you both. âAre you okay?â he signed, his face filled with concern.
âYes,â you replied quietly, your fingers moving slowly, tracing the air. âBecause you always come whenever I need someone.â
His heart skipped a beat. âAnything for you,â he whispered, gaze never left yours. "I'll do anything for you,"
His fingers slowly lifted to cradle your face, his thumb brushing gently across your cheek. Your eyes fluttered closed at the touch, and Kai could feel your breath hitch. You shifted closer to him, pressing your head to his chest, seeking his intoxicating smell.
He tucked you in carefully, his arm lying beneath your head as his head rested gently on top of yours. His touch was warm and soothing as his hand trailed down your back, the warmth from his skin seeping through the fabric of your clothes. You closed your eyes, feeling the calm settle in your chest, until a small movement in his chest caught your attention.
You pulled back slightly, confusion in your eyes. His face was soft, but his eyes shimmered with tears that hadn't yet fallen. His lips parted, searching for the right words. âHow did you put up with all of that?â he whispered, a tear slipping down his right cheek. His chest seemed to tighten with the weight of the question. âWhat they did to you, it was the worst. Iâ should've found you sooner. I promise⌠you will not be alone anymore, okay?â
You nod, tearing up at his words. It was the first time someone made a promise to you that you knew he wouldn't break. A small smile found its way to your lips. His hands moved, fingers gently pressed against your palm as he spelled out.
"You're safe now,"
You wake up slowly, your eyes squinting as they adjust to the soft morning light spilling into the room.
Kai's arms are still wrapped around your waist, his body pressed against yours, his face nestled against your chest. You gently trace the lines of his face with your fingers, captivated by the details you never want to forgetâthe way his freckles and moles give his features a softness, an angelic quality. He's so beautiful. The light in a world that once felt so dark. In a life thatâs often felt like a nightmare, heâs the one thing that pulled you into the almost impossible daylight.
You lean in, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. He murmurs in his sleep but doesnât stir. You smile softly at his innocence, feeling your heart flutter. You try to untangle your legs from his, hesitant to leave the safety of his embrace, but you slowly make your way out of the bed.
As you step into the living room, the smell of breakfast makes your stomach rumble. You find Kaiâs mom and Hiyyih already in the kitchen. The latter smiles warmly at you. âGood morning,â she greets, and you return the smile.
Breakfast is simple but comforting. The food amazing, your appetite comes back little by little with every bite.
When youâre finished, Hiyyih looks at you with a bright smile. âWant to help me with the lunch boxes?â she asks, and you nod eagerly. She helps you slip on an apron, her fingers fumbling with the straps as she giggles. It's contagious, and makes you smile.
She pulls her hair back into a ponytail, a few strands fall loose, and you reach for your notepad. You quickly scribble, Let me braid your hair?
Hiyyihâs eyes widen with delight, and she nods. You gather her hair gently, carefully weaving the strands together. A soft smile spread across her face at the comforting touch of your hands.
Kai stretched his arm to your side, but the space was empty.
His eyes snapped open, sleep quickly fading as he registered the absence of your presence. He sat up abruptly, fumbling to slide his feet into his house slippers, the soft padding of his steps barely audible as he hurried out of the room.
Where could you have gone? Has someone come to take you home? His thoughts raced, each one more frantic than the last. He barely noticed the cold air of the hallway as he hurried toward the kitchenâthen he stopped, heart halting in his chest.
There you were.
The tension melted away as he took in the scene. You stood at the counter, laughter spilling from your lips as you helped Hiyyih pack three lunch boxes. The soft fabric of an apron hugged your frame, and his mother moved gracefully beside you, pouring cups of steaming chocolate milk, a soft smile gracing her lips as she watched the two of you.
Your eyes found his, and the world seemed to slow. A smile softened your features as you raised a hand, signing a simple "Hi," and motioning for him to come closer.
"Good morning," Kai murmured. His heart swelled at the scene before himâthree women who meant the world to him. "Morning, Mom."
The two watched as Kai closed the small distance between you and him. He softly placed his hands on your shoulders, the touch gentle. Then, he leaned down, pressing a light, quick kiss to the top of your head. His small act makes you blush.
"Good morning, Son," his mother interrupts warmly, passing him a plate of pancakes and sausages. "Y/N and Hiyyih have already eaten. Hereâs your breakfast."
Kai took his seat, the clatter of cutlery mingling with the soft sounds of your and Hiyyihâs giggles. His mother, ever attentive, placed a notepad on the counter, making sure nothing was lost in translation as she communicated with you.
If you truly want to express something, youâll find a way. And if you want to say even more, youâll learn, until your heart speaks louder than words ever could.
It was the first time you were in a car, heading to school, and there was a grin you couldnât wipe from your face.
Everything felt lighter todayâthe warmth of Hiyyihâs arm gently looping around yours, and every now and then, Kaiâs glance in the rearview mirror caught yours.
Last night seemed to burn away, slipping from your mind like smoke on the breeze. The car pulled up, and you all said your goodbyes to Kaiâs mom, her lips warm against your cheek as she kissed you. âWhat food would you like later?â Her question made you pull her into a tight hug, surprising her with the warmth you hadnât known you had in you. It's true, that if you surround yourself with better people, you'll be better too.
It felt like everyone in school was watching, but you didnât mind. Kaiâs hand in yours felt so right, and Hiyyih was chatting away beside you, making everything feel like a dream. When the time came for Hiyyih to part ways, she also kissed your cheek with a smile, waving goodbye.
Kaiâs eyes were on you, a smirk tugging at his lips as you laughed softly. He loved seeing you so light, so happy. When he walked you to your class, you bumped into Taehyun, who ruffled your hair with a grin and a gentle pat on the head. You felt like he already knew, given that his stare much more concerned than it ever was.
Is this what it feels like to be part of something? What a family is supposed to feel like?
You washed your hands in the sink, the corners of your lips still tugged into a faint smile. But the moment was cut short when a splash of cold water hit you, soaking your uniform. You gasped, the fabric clinging uncomfortably to your skin. You only know two people who find joy in these acts. Turning quickly, you saw Chae-won and Yun-jin standing there, flanked by three other girls whose names you didnât even know but who were always with them.
âAre you done living your life like a victim?â Chae-wonâs voice rang out, sharp and biting. A few other students in the bathroom froze, unsure of what to do, before slipping out the door, desperate to avoid being caught in the middle.
âGo home,â she spat, her glare searing. âIâm not letting my mother deal with trash like you.â
Your chest tightened, but you refused to show it. You held her gaze for a beat longer than you thought you could, then turned to leave. The quicker you got out of their sight, the better. You don't want to waste your energy on dealing with her. But before you could make it to the door, two of them grabbed your arms roughly and shoved you back.
âGo home now,â one of them hissed. âOr Iâll make sure everyone knows just how pathetic you really are.â
Something inside you snapped. The words stung, but your hand moved faster than your thoughts. The slap echoed in the tiled bathroom. Chae-wonâs face twisted in shock before anger overtook her features. She lunged, pushing you into a cubicle. Her hands tangled in your hair as you tried to fight back, her nails digging into your arm as you struggled to block her strikes.
They always kept it hidden, their cruelty tucked away in the shadowsâbehind the closed doors of your home, in the quiet corners of the art room, places where no one else would see. Never here. Never out in the open like this. These were the same people you once looked at with longing, the ones you dreamed would someday call you their friend.
Tears blurred your vision as you struggled to catch your breath. The sharp ache in your scalp subsided when Chae-won was suddenly yanked off you, her grip torn away by a rough hand.
Hiyyih. Your eyes widened as you saw her, fierce and blazing with anger. âGet the fuck away from my sister, bitch!â she screamed, face cracking with rage. Before Chae-won could recover, Hiyyih kicked her hard on her thigh, her fury igniting as she saw the blood smeared across your arms.
Another girl was with her, someone you vaguely recognized, stepping in to help. Suddenly, it was three against five, chaos erupting in the cramped bathroom.
Hiyyih glared daggers at Yun-jin, voice trembling with raw emotion. âYou think you can just hurt people? You think youâre strong because you can?â
The bathroom erupted into noiseâshouting, scuffling, and the sound of feet scrambling for safety. Students crowded at the doorway, peeking in with wide eyes, while others bolted to find a teacher. You stayed close to Hiyyih, your chest tight with fear. What if they hurt her the way they hurt you?
You felt yourself shoved against the counter in the commotion, your pulse pounding in your ears. And then, cutting through the chaos, you saw them. Three figures pushed their way through the crowd, pushing onlookers, unconcerned that this was a girlsâ bathroom.
Kai. Beomgyu. Taehyun.
Everything seemed to blur as Kai desperately reached you, pulling you close against his chest. His arms wrapped around you, steady and protective, shielding you from anyone.
âEnough!â Beomgyu shouts. âThis ridiculous cat fight ends now.â
Kaiâs hands cupped your face, his touch trembling as he scanned your cuts and bruises. His jaw tightened, his eyes dark with anger and fear. His eyes check his sister, now standing between Beomgyu and Taehyun. He exhaled sharply, pulling you behind him, his body a wall between you and the rest of the room.
âStop this,â he said coldly, his words directed at Chae-won, who was fixing her hair with a smug expression. "This is your last warningâstay away from her.â
Chae-won sneered, venom dripping from her voice. âWhy do you keep protecting that⌠thing?â she spat. âSheâs abnormal. She canât hear. She made us miserable. Sheâs selfish, always making everything about her. She plays the victim like itâs a sport.â
Her words made Hiyyih surged forward, ready to strike, but Taehyun held her back with a firm grip.
âAre you fucking serious right now?â Chae-won blinked, startled by the harshness in Kai's toneâa tone so unlike the boy known for his warmth and kindness. âSheâs the best person to ever walk these grounds,â Kai adds, eyes locked on Chae-won. âSheâs everything youâll never be.â
You tried to step out from behind him, to meet Chae-wonâs glare head-on, but Kaiâs arm gently stopped you, keeping you behind him, his body a wall between you and her cruelty.
âIf anyone here isnât normal, itâs you. Never her.â
For the first time, Chae-wonâs smirk faltered, her confidence visibly shaken. Her eyes dart between Hiyyih, Beomgyu and Taehyun. They all look at her in disdain.
Her mind raced, her thoughts spiralling back to the words her mother had drilled into herâhow you were less, how people would never care about you. But nowâthese peopleâthey were standing with you, like they would shield you from anything that came your way. It made her gulp. She bolts outside, Yun-jin was hot on her heels, matching her pace. The other girls had already disappeared.
For the first time, she was afraidâof the consequences that might happen if she ever dared to hurt you again.
âYou donât have to forgive them, you know?â Kai says, his shoulder brushes against yours, as you both sit, legs dangling off the edge of the makeshift bench in the yard. The watermelon ice cream in your hand drips slightly, the heat of the sun melting it. His sister and mother are out of the house, shopping for tonight's supper.
âItâs okay to take your time,â he adds, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. âOr never forgive them at all. You can stay here with us for as long as you want. Thereâs no rush to figure everything out.â
You shift your feet, wiggling your toes against the warm wood beneath you. Both of you are still in the loose, comfortable clothes you threw on after rolling out of bed. No shoes, no plansâItâs a Saturdayâyour first weekend here.
You look at him, and the light catches his face. A small smile tugs at your lips as you sign, âYou know, Iâve never given you a proper nickname.â
Kai pauses mid-bite, blinking at you in surprise at your random words. âHuh?â he mumbles around the end of his ice cream. âWhat do you mean?â
You let out a soft laugh, your hands moving fluidly as you explain, âSince calling out your name in sign language takes a little more effort, itâs better to give you a nickname. Something simple but special, something that means âyou.ââ
Kaiâs heart stutters in his chest. How was it possible that every time he saw you sign, it felt like the first time all over again? "Wha- what would you call me?"
You smile, a little shy. Youâd thought of this nickname days ago, waiting for the right moment to share it. âDiamond,â you sign, your hands forming the shapeâyour thumb and index finger meet to form the letter D, before tracing an elegant upward motion, like a sparkle.
Kaiâs breath catches. His chest feels tight, like his heart is swelling too big for the space itâs in. Diamond. The way you did it, the way it lookedâit felt intimate. "Itâs beautiful."
You smile softly at him, and his entire world shifts. âI canât hear your voice, but I see it. You shine the brightest when youâre making music. Thatâs when you look the coolest, like youâre untouchable⌠like a diamond. But even then, I donât feel left out when Iâm with you. I never felt I don't belong when I'm with you.â Your hands falter slightly, your eyes glassy with unshed tears.
Kai watches every movement, every micro-emotion on your face. He understands every word.
Heâs in love with you. Completely, helplessly.
He doesnât need to be the doctor to diagnose his own symptoms, a teacher to put his feelings into words, or to be the scientist to prove his theory. None of those roles matters becauseâthese things will never speak as loud as his heart. He loves you. And with every moment he spends knowing you, he finds himself falling even deeper.
And now, he can give you his musicâsomething he once thought was beyond him. Loving you has been the easiest thing heâs ever done.
Kai's desperate need consumes him as he grabs your face, his heart racing with aching desire to kiss you. His lips crash onto yours, devouring the sweetness of your watermelon-flavoured mouth. You moan, a little sound that only fuels his need as he leans back. "You're so beautiful. I need you, please." He pulls you closer and kisses you again once you nod, unable to resist his sweet kisses. He breaks away and takes your hand, leading you. Like he always does.
You let him pull you into his room, the scent of him wrapping around you like a quiet embrace. The space feels personalâlived-in. It feels like... him.
Before you can say a word, his arms encircle you from behind, holding you close as his lips brush softly against the side of your head. His hands move slowly, sliding from your waist to your stomach. With a gentle tug, he lifts your shirt just enough to reveal the bare skin beneath. His touch is tender as his fingers graze over you, tracing delicate patterns, and caressing. Kai turns you around.
Kai's mind swirls with uncertainty. He stares into your eyes, and he signs the words that he has been holding back. "I love you." You respond by pulling him close, kissing him fiercely and tangling your fingers in his hair. Your mind is consumed by his confession, and his touches.
He pushes you onto the bed, flooding your senses with his smell. You wrap your legs around him instinctively, surprised at yourself for doing something naturally you haven't done. You're craving his touch.
"I need you," His voice is low, repeating the words. He wants to know. He wants to make sure that you're alright with this. You give a slight nod, granting him permission. He eagerly accepts, his lips crashing against yours in a frenzy of need. His hands roam your body, leaving trails of fire as he hungrily kisses down your neck. He goes down, he bites down on the fabric covering your nipples, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from you.
He gingerly lifted your shirt over your head, revealing your flushed skin. He took one of your hardened nipples into his mouth and gently sucked, watching closely as your face contorted in pleasure and your eyes fluttered shut.
He slides his hand under your silk pyjama top and gently traces the curve of your back with his fingers. He settles himself beside you, leaning as he reaches your waistband. His long fingers slip inside and finds you already wet, he spreads your lips apart and expertly flicks his finger over your clit. He adds another finger and watches your face for any signs of discomfort, peppering kisses along your cheeks as you shake your head in pleasure. Slowly, he inserts them deeper, making you grip his shoulders tightly as he stretches you.
He rolls his knuckles over your sensitive clit. With a swift movement, his hand opens like scissors, his thumb teasing your swollen nub. You let out a gasp and clutch onto his now longer hair, pulling him closer as he continues to pleasure you with his skilled fingers. Your mouths meet in a passionate kiss, his hot tongue brushing yours as he works his fingers in and out of you.
As he pulls out, you can feel his gaze on you, his eyes tracing every inch of your body. Every part of your body is beautiful.
You try to reach for his pants, but he shakes his head with a small smile. "This is all about you." He whispers, and places a kiss on your lips.
He slides into you, causing tears to escape from the corners of your eyes as you feel yourself being stretched and filled. He's so big, hot inside you. "Baby, I got you," He leans in close, his warm breath mingling with yours as he gently wipes away your tears.
Kai searches your eyes and waits for you to signal him to move again, you hummed nodding your head. He presses deeper, and the sensation makes your whole body tingle. With each thrust, he presses you further into the mattress, leaving hot kisses along your skin as his other hand finds its way back to your clit.
His lips found your ears, and he left traces of kisses. The overwhelming pleasure builds and builds until finally, you can't hold back any longer and release with a shudder. But he doesn't stop there; he continues to move inside of you groaning, pulling out before his release, he fists his erection and hot white cum comes undone on his hands. He leans down to give you a quick kiss on your forehead, smirking at your fucked out face.
Kai's touch was careful as he ran the cloth over your skin, wiping away, and cleaning you up. He worked slowly, keeping one of his hands holding your own.
When he was done, he looked up at you with that same soft smile. You feel your lips curve in response, reaching out to touch his flushed cheeks, your fingers brushing against his warm skin. The simple touch makes his smile widen into a boyish grin. You see his mouth open, saying "I love you." The same words he kept repeating over and over again even without you knowing it.
It feels unreal, like a fragile dream stitched together by your desperate mind to escape the torment of your reality. Kai doesnât seem realâa fleeting fever dream youâre terrified will vanish the moment you wake. Your hands move almost on their own, signing the words your heart refuses to deny. "I love you too."
A floor table is set up in the yard, resting on a wide blanket with soft cushions scattered around it. Plates of food and side dishes fill the table, the space alive with chatter and laughter.
Kai sits beside you, his knee brushing yours beneath the table his hands caressing your back when no one's looking, Hiyyih is in the center, her laughter bright and infectious, while Taehyun and Beomgyu are across from you, locked in their usual back-and-forth.
Or rather, Beomgyu trying to bait Taehyun into bickering, and Taehyun rolling his eyes with amused restraint.
The sliding door opens, and Kaiâs mom steps out, balancing a steaming pot in her hands. âHere comes the ramen!â she sings. The broth makes you realise just how hungry you are.
She begins ladling out bowls, and the clinking of utensils signals the start of the meal. As the first bite warms your throat, the cold night seems to retreat, replaced by the simple joy of being here, with them.
You reach out toward the dessertâripe, glossy strawberriesâbut your hand freezes as you see Beomgyu grab the last one. He pauses mid-bite when he catches the longing look in your eyes. âOh,â he says, a smirk tugging at his lips. Slowly, he pulls the fruit away from his mouth, holding it out to you with his chopsticks. âBecause Iâm a good guy, Iâll let you have it.â
Before you can protest, Kai reaches over with his own chopsticks and snatches the strawberry back. He shoves it into Beomgyuâs mouth, earning a muffled yelp. âYou can keep it,â Kai says flatly, shooting a half-hearted glare at his friend.
Taehyun bursts out laughing, pointing at Beomgyuâs shocked expression. âHeâs jealous,â he teases, his grin wide.
âI am not,â Kai snaps, cheeks betraying by giving a soft pink hue. âI just donât want his germs spreading to Y/N.â
Beomgyu, finally swallowing the strawberry, points a dramatic finger at Kai. âYou little shiââ
You laugh as Beomgyu leaps to his feet, determined to catch Kai, whoâs darting away with that grin that melts your heart every time. Kaiâthe one who didnât just save you from your own darkness, but who opened up his world and invited you in, piece by piece.
You sigh, not out of sadness, but happinessâa feeling slowly becoming familiar. It doesnât feel impossible anymore.
You avoid your fatherâs gaze, his concerned eyes scanning you with a frown etched deep into his forehead. You shift, positioning yourself behind Kaiâs broad back. You can still see your father, but having Kai in front of you makes it all feel bearableâalmost safe.
Your father arrived first thing in the morning, dressed sharply in his suit, as though he hadnât wasted a second to come get you ever since he came back.
He explained everything in a rushâwhat heâd done back at the house. Your stepmother was gone, and sheâd taken your stepsisters with her. Without a marriage binding them, he ended it quickly, as swiftly as heâd once welcomed her into your home, believing she could be a solution, a saviour for you.
The maids who had turned a blind eye or worseâenabled the abuseâwere fired on the spot. And now, he was determined to make things rightâdetermined to press charges, to hold accountable anyone who had ever hurt you. His voice cracked when he spoke of it, the guilt etched deep into his expression.
"Would you mind if I speak for a moment?" Kai asks stance proud, and unwavering. Your father looked at him, taking in the way he stood in front of you, protective. It reminded him of the days when he had stood like that for your motherâthe only woman he had truly loved.
âMy mom doesnât know any sign language,â Kai begins, âBut she still talks to Y/N all the time. They understand each other perfectly.â He pauses, letting the words settle.
âThatâs when I realized something,â Kai continues, his gaze unwavering. âYou can say anythingâanything at allâif it comes from a willing heart.â He pulls out a book. Itâs a little worn around the edges, its cover creased from being used so often. Itâs the same sign language book heâs been studying with you, the one heâs cherished so much.
He holds it out to your father, âI thought this might help. Itâs a good place to start, so you can reach her too.â Your father takes it, his fingers brushing against the cover. His lips part, voice thick with emotion, âThank you, Kai.â He extends his hand, and Kai shakes it firmly, a quiet understanding passing between them.
Then Kai turns to you, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. His mom and Hiyyih wrap you in tight hugs, their warmth lingering long after they let go. You havenât even stepped outside the gate yet, but theyâre already asking when youâll come back.
You smile, trying to give them an answer, but the truth catches in your throat. The truth is, you donât know if you can live your life without them anymore.
The trip back to your house was quiet.
You opened the doors, but no one was inside. No one inside, yet it felt more⌠welcoming than it ever had. You walk into your room, and are about to reach to close your bedrooms behind you. But before it shuts, your father steps inside.
âIâm sorry,â he starts, âFor everything.â All you can do is nod silently, feeling the sting of tears welling in your eyes. Youâve thought about this moment a thousand timesâhow you would say everything youâve kept inside, how youâd finally tell him that his silence and distance hurt more than the physical abuse they gave.
You wanted him to know what his absence caused, how it made everything worse. You wanted to shout, to let him feel the anger youâve carried for so long. But as you hear his apology, you find yourself lacking the heart to do so. Because this momentâitâs the one youâve been waiting for your entire whole life. For him to finally come back to you.
He takes a hesitant step closer, his hands trembling as they reach up to cup your face. His eyes that screams nothing but regret. âYouâre the only one left who matters to me,â he says, âIâm so sorry I didnât see it sooner. I promiseâIâll make it up to you. Somehow, Iâll make it right.â Before you know it, he pulls you into his arms, holding you as if heâs afraid to let go.
The two of you cry, clinging to each other in the quiet of the house. No other words are spoken. The walls that once held the echoes of your pain now bear witness to something⌠starting to heal.
The horrors of the past donât, won't disappear, but they begin to blur, fading as you melt inside your father's arms. You close your eyes as you cryâbroken sobs, like a child needing comfort after a big bad nightmare, tasting the salt of your own tears as they fall.
It tastes like forgiveness.
"Do you want to come with me on my next business trip?" your father signs, his hands moving carefully beside you in the car. "New York."
You smile at his effort, the clumsy yet intentional movements making him seem more approachableâso different from the figure you once knew.
"I'd love that, dad." His face lights up with your response, a genuine smile spreading across his lips. He looks relieved, maybe even proud, that he's able to communicate with you more clearly now. Your gaze drifts to the newspaper folded in his lap, the bold numbers marking the yearâ1996.
The car slows to a stop, signalling that you've arrived. Your father leans over, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. "See you daughter,"
You wave goodbye, stepping out onto the pavement, watching as the car pulls away. You clutch your shoulder bag, a soft smile playing on your lipsâone that seems to have taken permanent residence these past few months. Your steps are light, your eyes brighter, and your heart hums a melody only you can hear.
Community for the Gifted: Advanced Sign Language
The words on the board seem almost dreamlike. A reminder that you're here. Everything that happened wasn't just a dream.
Before you can dwell on it, your bag is gently lifted from your hands. You turn, meeting his eyesâwarm, full of affection. He dips his head, pressing a sweet, fleeting kiss to your lips, followed by another on your nose, and your brows.
"Hi, pretty girl," He says softly, shifting your bag to his other hand. He reaches for your free hand, fingers intertwining with yours. He squeezes it three times.
I love you.
Together, you step through the doors, hand in hand with the boy who loves you in ways you didnât think anyone ever could. The boy who simply found you in your silent world. It amazes youâhow one person can make life feel so undeniably worth living.
Huening Kai, who learned to speak your language, so you won't have to spend your lifetime translating your soul.
THE END.
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