#not that we need to sympathize with them

[nnnnobodyy]

Filming them and posting it online is certainly excessive and questionable. One would *hope* partner in question got permission from the other and they both have a sense of humor about it, but I suppose we shouldnt give them too much benefit of the doubt. Admittedly I have not seen these videos due to my aversion of TikTok, but I have to partially disagree, personally I think it is important to showcase to other people what we (cismen's partners) have to put up with so other women know theyre not alone in having to deal with astoundingly incompetent (cis?)men.

It is sad they were failed by their parents, and its surely a testament to the vileness of the gender roles that cause people to raise incompetent (cis?)men and women who have to clean up after them. Its one thing for them to not know how to get blood stains out of clothes, generally the average cisman doesnt have to deal with blood-stained clothes as often as someone who menstruates does. Its another thing when they need help with nearly every task, no matter how minor and easy to search the internet for a solution it is.

I admit I am biased against your point OP because I just left a 5-yr relationship with what tumblr would lovingly call a "himbo." I was more fortunate than the average het couple in that he could largely cook, clean, and do laundry on his own, but his inability to do other tasks and weird disinterest in using the internet to figure out how to do it correctly really wore down on me over time. For example, at the height of my grad school tenure, I burst into tears over him struggling terribly just to fold up a sleeping bag. It was one he had gotten out and left on the floor for weeks, and when I asked him to roll it up, it became evident he did not know how to re-roll it as it had been before he got it out. And instead of watching a video online about how to do it on his PC 3 feet away or using the smartphone in his pocket, he asked me, who was already on a wire's edge and mentally exhausted from grad school, to show him how to do it. Cue the waterworks, largely due to guilt that I felt so mad and guilt at so badly wanting NOT to help him, and frustration at not knowing how to even begin to explain why I'm so upset about an issue as seemingly as minor as just a sleeping bag.

Undoubtedly you are familiar with the term "weaponized incomptence"--its not a term I would apply to this former partner, as I feel it implies a certain level of conscious choice and intention, perhaps a different way to describe his incomptence would something like "cisman incomptence privilege." I know that as a man who was raised as such in a still-very-gendered society, he likely wasnt taught how to do x, y, & z, and as a partner and someone who strives to be good I feel the responsibility to kindly teach him how to do it, but at a certain point it becomes an unfair demand of his partner's time and mental energy for them to always have to be the teacher and for him to never make more of an effort to not only learn on his own, but to actively explore to learn more about the kinds of things he has no clue about so he can learn to anticipate them.

And I imagine thats also why something as simple as not being able to clean up ketchup has these people filming their partners in a way that is definitely cruel and mocking at a surface level. Sure its sad that the dude cant clean up ketchup, but its exasperating as hell and loses its humor when you near-constantly have to teach him everything when the internet is RIGHT there. I did my best to be a patient teacher but it was a mental load that got too heavy to shoulder.

In defense of the men, there are some things you wouldnt know to look up online because you dont even know its a thing or problem that exists or needs to be done, such as cleaning out a hot water heater or how to replace a shower cartridge (hell even my engineer-fix-everything-himself dad didnt know what a shower cartridge is). But in retort to that defense, thats why taking the initative to not just learn for yourself but EXPLORE is so important. When its a problem thats plainly in front of you, it takes a certain level of self awareness to realize you might not know or be able to figure out the best way to handle this, and the internet is an easy place to consult for help. And it takes more self awareness to know there's all sorts of things out there you dont know about and therefore cant just search up online, hence the value in "exploring."

TL;DR weaponized incompetence or whatever you want to call it sucks and these mean videos bring attention to it

I can't be the only one that sees those like "watch if my boyfriend can clean up ketchup" style videos and not just get extremely sad about how much those men were failed by their parents right? And how they were then failed again by their partners later?

Like, can we stop putting the onus on these men and mocking them for not having a skill? Y'know, a skill? I thing you have to be taught.

Can you imagine your partner - someone you care about and you think cares about you - puts you in a situation where you're set up to fail, then filming you and mocking your lack of skills if you fail or jokingly praise you like you're a child if you do. Then on top of that post it on the internet for everyone - strangers, your family, your job and coworkers, potential future partners, whoever - to see and also laugh at you.

All for clout and content.

That person doesn't care about their partner. You could help them learn this skill that their parents failed to teach them, because of a patriarchal society where men are expected not only not do housework but also not know how to do housework. (Or because they're a shitty parent, that can also happen).

And like it is no one's responsibility to put in that kind of labor for someone, you are not obligated to do that.

However, if you supposedly care about someone and see they lack a skill, and you then film them, mock them, and post their unblurred face on the internet? That's kinda fucked up and you're a bad partner, honestly.

[quillkiller]

i always see hc’s about sirius & lily bonding over their estranged relationships with their siblings but what we really need to discuss is how it’s another reason for them to mistrust and/or dislike and/or not respect each other because reg & lily feel like they were abandoned while sirius & petunia are the older siblings who left them behind ..

[itsanotheridiot]

You know the writing of a character is good when they are literally a rich cop and you got me yelling at my screen “eat the rich” and “all cops are bastards” but also making me feel so bad for her as well as we see her change completely the grief fully consuming her and stripping her of all her morals leaving behind one thing rage

[annabelle--cane]

saw a comment on a livejournal bh meta post from 2013 that sent me on an internal hero's journey about sexual misconduct and gendered power in being human

[manofthepipis]

I was rereading chapter 12 of system rebooting please standby and I found it just a little sweet that spamton was excited to see Kris (even tho it wasn’t them lol). tho he mostly was hoping for Kris to save his hide, I also think he was just happy to see his friend since he’s so lonely at that point

im rlly glad you liked that bit!! :D spamton will always have his more selfish motivations, and i've tried writing him so that if he ever does want/need something from someone else he goes into salesman mode, playing nice and innocent enough to get what he wants. But like they're his friend!! his buddy!! :D!! they're a puppet just like him and they helped to free him even if it was obvious he was up to no good in the first place! someone like that to return to him in his extreme loneliness and confusion would be a godsend, but he doesn't get those often. so whoops it had to be an addison lmao

I'd imagine if kris were to return, he'd be hanging around them and their friends to the point where it got annoying but only because he genuinely cares now and they've given him a new purpose in the world he's forever fated for. Though it would genuinely surprise me if he appeared again in canon (i think he's just gonna get the jevil treatment and be a quiet close-to-nonliving item in your inventory), but in this au hed be harder than hell to get rid of (akin to actual spam) hfjsksksk.

[antirepurp]

i feel like the ancients in frontiers bother me but im having a hard time pinning down the exact specifics of it. i don't think i have a problem with them being an alien ancient civilization, but the execution of them feels kind of. generic. beyond the implied connection to chaos that is. the echidnas were portrayed as warmongering and power hungry, likely due to their leadership, and they have an interesting position as a part of knuckles' heritage when knuckles is in several ways the exact opposite of their ideals - a peaceful guardian who seeks to preserve and not to conquer. the ancients in boom were left vague due to the dev hell and the repeat rewrites of the story, but in some ways it does them favors i'd say. they are a looming presence upon bygone island, their history scattered about and left to be rediscovered. supposedly a peaceful society sans lyric, who was able to cause havoc and destruction perhaps because the rest of his people did not have something like an army to fight back immediately. lyric was the only one who had any sort of ties to military concepts. the cartoon gives the ancients impressive technology, but i can't recall it being too much more than just fun machines whose primary purposes were along the lines of transportation and entertainment. i think those sort of implications make the ancients more interesting than they perhaps could've been if they were given some kind of obvious and explicit military history.

the frontiers' ancients feel like some kind of unsuccessful middle ground of those concepts i think? we are directed to see them as the peaceful underdogs while they also have a massive military presence and horrific tools of war that we fight directly over the course of the game, that we Require super sonic to bring down. i understand that at least some of that arsenal was built to fight the end, but then you juxtapose that advanced and destructive technology with the seemingly rural architecture littering the islands that, unlike the titans, has rotted and decayed in the face of nature. is that not supposed to speak of their priorities as society? or were their stay at the islands always supposed to be temporary? but then why build something like the cyberspace which is very much connected to the islands themselves?

i don't know maybe im missing something, maybe i've been thinking about the portrayal of military forces in sonic too hard lately, it just bothers me that the ancients are simultaneously supposed to be both a competent and strong military presence which the DLC only amplifies, and a peaceful society that would never even think about doing anything other than defend themselves with that destructive military they've built for themselves

[pornography-for-kenkus]

every day on this cursed webbed site i come across some of the stupidest fucking opinions i've ever seen and i'm honestly so so strong for not engaging

[subconsciousmysteries]

Men are absolutely losing it because women are seeing through their bullshit and I'm here to watch their collective narcissistic meltdown

[yukaii]

upd8.... spoilers

i will say im liking how the new crew is treating this plotpoint. also i. love women. thought i should mention that

the freaking. the lipstick color.

going from roses color to kanayas aarghh [holding head] <- victors reaction to the most basic and straightforward symbolism

but also gosh. jade bringing up how gods are treated... you see people cracking jokes about it but, obvious horrible behavior aside. shes right! none of them are really capable of making a real connection! theyre caged, trapped even, within this circle of people theyve known since they were 13. and thats kinda messed up!! a little bit!!! it sucks!!!!

btw say what you will but i missed ruby. her whimsy...

the artists have been absolutly kicking it out of the park btw! like aghhh! must stress again that i love women

[niobiumao3]

The thing about teaching kids reading and writing in school is, I do think more schools could stand to intersperse the classics with some modern YA/juve fic, because

Keeping kids interested is important to helping them learn. That's easier if they're engaged, and they will engage more readily with popular stories. There are plenty of good popular stories, just like there are shitty classics.

Compare and contrast is a GREAT way to introduce them to ideas like unreliable narrators, protagonists you're not necessarily intended to like, narrative styles, etc.

You have to teach someone HOW to read critically/with intent. it's not something most people just know how to do. And you can do that with any text; arguably, they'll take to it more readily if it's something they want to read. Then getting them to apply it to something they're less engrossed in as a learning exercise is less like getting blood from a stone.

You don't have to throw the baby out with the bathwater. This doesn't have to be Divergent 'instead of' 1984. It's 'Divergent and 1984, tell me things that you feel they had in common and did not, explain how the explored themes of governmental control and how this damages society as a whole and individuals in particular'.

If the only books you're letting them read is a curated list from 30+ years ago, you have to expect pushback and shouldn't be shocked when they're like 'why can't I examine [popular series actually aimed at them here] instead'.

[themyscirah]

Suffering more than Jesus atm (being a fan of 80s/90s Suicide squad in 2024)

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

People on social media will get mad as hell and call you problematic if you enjoy a villain for being, well, a villain.

[anaalnathrakhs]

"i thought you said you'd make an effort" MOTHERFUCKER THIS IS ONLY COMPLAINT #1 OUT OF A VERY LONG LIST JUST BE GRATEFUL I CAN WAIT UNTIL THE GUESTS ARE GONE TO SNAP

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

analyzing hermes, emet-selch, the ancients and ascians, how they're written, and the fandom's reaction to them be like hm. emet-selch's role in this fuckery is compounded by the fact that his backstory as a genocide survivor is incongruous with his ruling a huge genocidal colonialist world power in the present da [ANTISEMITISM BLAST]

[robertsbarbie]

okay terrible news all the bad reviews i’ve read of the book confirmed for me that people are missing the point but i’m gonna need to read the book for myself to truly determine that

[sateurn]

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

These sobs really limited my tags?????

I have so many more thoughts this is so so much less than 1/2. Broski. Big dislike