#like “maybe it will work this time and dad will be nice!!”

[na0koz]

HIII

Your thoughts on S/O reader meeting jinx’s family (vander, vi, mylo and claggor if they’re alive, etc) and how that would go?

helloo ty for the req, i just included vi and vander in this. hope that’s ok! though, i feel like i didn’t really tap into jinx’s toxic-ness in this, just her pretending to hate vi and acting like a teenager. sorry u guys.

toxic!jinx masterlist

vi had accidentally let slip to vander that jinx had met someone over their ‘family dinner’ (jinx really hated when vander called it that, it’s just dinner).

since then, vander had been pestering jinx for weeks trying to get her to bring you round to one of these stupid dinners. she shut him down every time saying you were busy. you definitely weren’t, vi could guess that much. she’s been here before, with her ex.

finally, jinx agrees to bring you over for dinner.

jinx tells vander what you like to eat, in a strange amount of detail, and he cooks it. he can’t say he’s not trying to make a good impression on you.

she decides it’s best for her to go pick you up from your apartment, and once you reach the front door, she grabs your wrist as your reach for the doorknob. “my family is weird, okay. just like, ignore whatever they say. about me.”

her grip on your wrist is tight, and her gaze steady. you can tell jinx is nervous.

“it’s okay, baby. i’m sure they’re not weird,” you reassure her.

she furrows her brows slightly. she’s having second thoughts on this, maybe you should just go home. jinx is pulled from her thoughts when the front door swings open and she sees her sister standing on the mat in front of the door.

“why are you just standing here? looks real weird, y’know,” the pink haired girl says as she leans on the frame.

“ugh, shut up, vi.” jinx says in a lowered tone, one that already sounds annoyed. she pushes past her sister and drags you inside, still gripping your wrist.

as you take off your shoes and hang up your coat, you hear a gruff voice from above you.

“i’m vi. nice to, uh.. meet you.”

you smile up at the unfamiliar face and introduce yourself in return. then you hear jinx scoffing and saying something along the lines of “get off me!” as you look over to see who must be her dad taking his hands off her shoulders while chuckling.

“hey. i’m vander, p- jinx’s dad, it’s nice to finally meet you.” he smiles a warm smile, one which you reciprocate. you wonder what he was about to say before he said jinx’s name, but you think it’s best to leave it when you look over to jinx and see her giving vander a mean look.

-

dinner was finally ready and you go to sit at the table. vi usually sits next to jinx, but jinx runs to the table to kick vi out of the way so you could sit in her place. vi sighs and sits opposite her while vander laughs to himself, setting dishes over the table.

the four of you eat in silence for a bit, before vi pipes up with a smirk on her face.

“you’re literally the only thing jinx talks about, y’know.”

jinx exclaims. “huh?!! not true! bitch.” she kicks vi as hard as she can.

vi kicks her back. “you’re the bitch, stealing money out of my wallet to buy god knows what.”

“i did not!” jinx stands up from her seat. you swear her eyes flash a hot pink when she gets worked up.

“girls.” vander intervenes, “sorry, [name].”

you tell him it’s okay and giggle into your food.

jinx turns to you and tells you that vi is totally lying and you shouldn’t believe anything she says, that she’s a pathological liar.

“uh huh,” you nod, side eyeing vi with a grin as jinx flops back down into her chair. you know it’s hers because it has her name carved into it, along with some pink and blue paint splotches. it’s no secret how possessive she is.

you all continue eating while chatting and getting to know each other, vi and jinx occasionally at each other’s necks as you and vander give each other apologetic looks.

a few hours pass, and you’re getting ready to leave what you deem a successful meet-the-family while pulling your shoes on. jinx is doing the same.

“aww sis, you’re not staying over?” vi says sarcastically, dodging a kick from jinx.

“nope. i’d rather be with [name] than you two fuckers.”

“language, missy,” vander chimes in from the kitchen as he finishes up the last of the cleaning before making his way into the hall to see you off.

“just ‘cus you’re in loooove with her,” vi sings, shoving jinx’s shoulder. she’s stepped over the line now, and jinx practically pounces on her, pulling her hair and smacking her.

vander mutters to himself and pulls jinx off her sister by the back of her jacket, much to her dismay. (“get the fuck off me!”)

she scoffs and pulls her other boot on, while you giggle to vi who was brushing herself off.

“it was nice to meet you.”

“you too, vander. thank you for dinner,” you smile.

jinx reaches for your hand and the doorknob simultaneously. “yeah, yeah. whatever.” she pulls you out of the house and very nearly slams the door behind her.

she sighs hard and slumps onto your shoulder as the two of you start to walk home.

“i did not like that.”

“yeah, i could tell,” you laugh.

[onlinedolly]

hello!! it’s so nice seeing another dc writer on here. your dad!erwin post was 👩🏻‍🍳💋 and i saw that you write for jjk. what are your thoughts on dad!gojo?? (he’s the love of ml)

cw: incest, p in v, baby trapping (slightly maybe), perv gojo

dad!toru makes me freak a little!!!!! ugh ugh i went w lil crazy i do apologize

dad!toru with crows feet and smile lines, who is the best dad in the world! at least, in your eyes. so loving and doting, it was different then it was with megumi, you were his. his precious girl, his angel, you were the sun and moon in his eyes i like to think.

and you and dad!toru had always been incredibly close, conjoined at the hip your mother used to always say, “practically twins!” you’d follow him around as a child, crawling into his lap, sitting right next to him on the couch, following him from room to room. and even at your adult age you suppose those habits didn’t break. you found yourself, more times then not, sprawled over your fathers lap while he watched tv, read the newspaper, busied himself with work. you were just always there and he loved it.

now that you were an adult dad!toru could see just how much you’ve changed. a image of your mother, yet softer and more…filled out. he’d realized he had these feelings, feelings a father should never have, when you began attending university. you were to go to a party, in a little black dress with a slit up the thigh, and it led into a heated argument and an image of you satoru found himself thinking of with his hand fisted around his cock.

and dad!toru doesnt really feel that guilty about it if we’re honest. he thinks that maybe he should, maybe it’d be better if he was riddled with guilt, disgusted by himself. maybe it’d make the urges settle. but they never did, and he spent most of his nights alone in bed picturing you in your pajama shorts, you in your underwear he caught glimpses of as he passed by the bathroom, you in nothing at all, as he’d cum around his hand.

when dad!toru finally snaps, finally makes a move that’s been years in the making, he’s surprised you don’t resist much. granted you didn’t know too awful much about sex, your father kept you pretty sheltered, and he made sure you cut off any friends who would put things like that in your head. so when he kissed you, rough and passionate, you simply kissed him back. it was sloppy and inexperienced and the thought of it had satorus cock leaking.

“i dunno..” was your only protest as he lays you back on the bed, crawling over you with a smirk on his face.

“don’t you love me?” he nosed your throat, peppering kisses down the length of it as you whined and nodded your head anxiously. that was all he needed to have your pajama shirt unbuttoned, taking a tit in his mouth and biting down on your nipple as you cry out.

he could feel the way you were trying to close your legs beneath and it lit a fire inside of him as he was quick to pulling your panties and shorts down. you whined, the feeling overwhelming, the feeling as if you were doing something wrong flashed over you. but it felt so good and he was your father, the last thing he was to do is put you in harms way right? he was pulling his sweats down as he pressed open mouth kisses to your tummy, down to your cunt.

“papa—“ you whine, wriggling underneath him in attempt to close your legs in shame. but satoru was too quick, pinning a leg down as he sees your cunt drool onto the bed.

“what a dirty girl.” he teases, lifting a finger up to run it up the length of you pussy, the feeling makes you yell out as he circles your clit softly. “i’m going to need to work you up, okay? i’m big and it’ll hurt if i don’t.” you weren’t sure what that meant, but you just nod your head, obedient as ever as he slips a finger inside of you.

the sensation burned, and it caused tears to prick your eyes as you mumble out a protest to which satoru just shushes. “give me a sec, you’re just so— tight.” he pulls his finger out before inserting it again making you whine out his name. soon he’s working you with two fingers, and then three, the sensation was dizzying. no more searing pain, just pure pleasure. unbeknownst to you, you were rocking against his fingers, looking for a spot you didn’t even know you had. and when he brushed your g spot you hollered out as he coos at you telling you what a good job you’re doing.

he coaxes an orgasm out of you, explaining how you’re feeling and what that means and how daddy’s only do this — like a good father should. and then he’s above you again, wiping your overwhelmed tears as he pushes himself into you with no warning.

the pain is back, except it’s tenfold, you cry out and dig your nails into his back as he groans. you were so tight and wet it made it hard to not cum from just pushing into you.

“everything’s okay now baby, you’re good ain’t cha?” he coos, pulling out to thrust back into you, letting you take him balls deep as you scratch at his back. he doesn’t give you time to adjust before he’s fucking into you ruthlessly, you’re sobbing as he angles his hips to press his cock against your g-spot before rutting himself in and out.

you aren’t doing much besides laying there, taking it, with sobs and moans escaping your lips. but that’s how toru likes it, being the one in complete control. he can feel the way your walls flutter around his cock, close to cumming as he searches for his own high. you both cum at the same time, you’re sobbing and yelling out as satoru releases inside of you. hot cum coating your walls and ur sends a shiver down your spine as you twitch. he wastes no time in pulling out once he’s done, placing a kiss to your tummy as he laughs, “maybe we’ll get one of our own.”

[nikovraskol]

Okay, seeing the one where we have to get permission to have a job is kinda funny. Especially since in the state I live, at 16 or older you're able to get a job without a parents permission. If it doesn't require extreme labor, NDA's, or requires being 21 and allowed near drugs or naughties.

So, what job was Reader going for? Secretary work? Lol, if we just decided to work at a cafe or something, we wouldn't have to worry about a permission slip.

Which leaves me to wonder, if Alfred set Bruce on Reader, but Reader said nothing and got a job? Bruce finding out Reader has a job, instead of just asking for money?

Especially if Tim recognizes Reader after getting a drink? But he's questioning why we're working there. He chooses to sit back and observe. Only to watch as an absolute Karen yells at Reader and dumps hot coffee on them.

oopsy poopsy i am NAWT familiar the usa child labour laws, but honestly imagined mc as just snatching the first job she sees, like yk when u apply for a bunch of jobs only for like the worst one to call you back?

like u apply for 30 jobs, each of them being like a barista or a cashier or something normal but the only one to reach back to u is a taxidermy LMAO (true story)

masterlist

honestly, you getting some minimum wage job as a barista -- working in some relatively nice area of gotham then one day you just see tim.

just sat there, some over-expensive drink in his hand as he stares at you in confusion? why is his sibling working at a coffee shop? bitch, your dad is bruce wayne WHY are you working a minimum wage job?? if you wanted a job so bad, you should've applied for wayne enterprises or something!

he tries to talk to you only for you to ignore him, acting like you don't know him, it stings. you were preening for his affection a month ago, how could you casually just ignore him?!

whatever plans he had, cancelled, he spends the day sat in a booth, watching your every move. anytime one of your co-workers come up to him and ask him to leave he just tips them like $100 to shut them up.

then, he sees you handling yourself and sighs, maybe you're okay at this, it's good for you, as helpless as you are, to get some experience.

until a nasty customer comes in, shouting at you and berating you, all you can do is lower your head and apologise -- because it's a customer! you can't fight back because if you get fired you'll have to go job hunting again, you'd rather get beat up by damian.

but the sight of you, your head lowered and a frown on your face. well, tim just can't have you working in such environments, he'll just let bruce know.

you pull up home, you're tired from working a 9-5, you smell like caffiene and your social battery is in DEBT only for your father to put his hand on your shoulder and sigh,

"quit your job." he says softly, as if he's doing you a damn favour. when you obviously refuse, he says nothing, just sighs.

and then you pull up to work the next day and your manager tells you you've been promoted and will now work at wayne enterprises ?!

bruce bought the coffee shop just to have you work with him! isn't that great? he can keep an eye on you AND you can spend time with your family!! don't worry, he won't let you do any hard work, in fact, the only thing you're tasked with is spending time with your family !!

just remember to thank tim, he got you a better job AND he gave you oppurtunities to spend time with them, that's all you've ever wanted, right?

if yall sent in a request i PROMISEE i will get back.. i'm just switching between writing the next chapter and giggling at all the nice things yall r saying >3>

[fandom-lover2]

Wayward Adjacent

What if, when Sam and Dean met Adam, he wasn't the only child of John Winchester they found.

Chapter One - Who Are You

Word Count - 1163

Chapter Two - Why Are You Here

I slipped my key into the lock and twisted, and realized that the door was already unlocked.

Well fuck…

Maybe I could still recover from this. Before I had the chance to pull my key out the door, the front door swung open, and I came face to face with a pissed older brother.

“I dropped you off at school two hours ago.”

I shouldered past Adam and into the house, not bothering with my shoes. I wouldn’t be here long.

“Didn’t watch me go into the building.” I shot back, intent on ignoring him for the journey up to my room.

I stopped however when I unexpectantly found two men in our front room. One was freakishly tall, and had longish hair that ended below his ears. The other was tall, but not as tall and had clean cut hair. Both dressed like they came from a small town romance novel, boots, flannel, leather and Carhartt jackets.

“Who the hell are they?”

“Who the hell is she?” me and the shorter one spoke at the same time, and then blinked at one another.

Adam walked in behind me, for some reason holding the framed picture of him and John at his 14th birthday. “This is Andrea.” he introduced as he gestured to me. “Andrea, these are our brothers; Sam-”

 “And Dean.” I finished, John’s words resonating in my head.

The men, my brothers, looked at me with a mixture of surprise and horror. The shorter especially looked mortified at my existence.

“Wait, you knew about them?”

“John mentioned them in passing.” I answered distracted, eyeing them up and down closely.

So, these were the guys I was supposed to turn out like. Jonathan would get a kick out of meeting them

. Wait, but if they were here, then I was right. Kate’s disappearance wasn’t natural, the things in the dark had something to do with this.

“Andrea is only my half-sister.” Adam went on to explain. “When her mother died, John brought her here, and my mom took her in. She’s been living with us for a year and a half.”

The shorter one recovered from his shock and was now pissed. And that pissed off look was the one I knew all too well, because it’s the one I saw every time I looked in the mirror. “So, what did Dad do for your birthdays?” he ground out.

“John never came around for my birthday.” I fired back. “Didn’t even know when it was.”

His eyes softened, pity replacing the pissed off.

“How long has your mom been missing.” the taller spoke suddenly, bringing everyone back to the problem at hand.

“Three days.” Adam answered.

“You the last one to see her?” Shorter one addressed me, now studying me differently.

“No.”

“The neighbor saw her get home Tuesday night but she never made it to work Wednesday morning.”

“Where were you?” Taller one asked me.

“School camp. Got back last night.”

Smaller one froze, his eye catching something. I followed his gaze to the framed picture of Kate and John. He dropped his head, eyes clenched. Maybe my mom wasn’t the only cheating one in the relationship. Adam continued answering taller one’s questions about Kate and her disappearance.

“Should have been here.” Adam added to the end of his explanation, eyes tearing up.

I personally wasn’t as affected by this as I should have been. Sure, Kate was welcoming and nice, but we never really formed a bond. Besides, she was always at work so. And Adam was leaving for college as I moved in, so I only knew it from the few times he was home.

Mostly, I was still thanking God that John was dead. If he found out I’d let something happen to Kate, he’d fucking kill me.

“What the uh, what the cops say?” Shorter one saved us from all the emotion.

“Uhh, they searched the house. They didn’t find anything.” Adam answered. He was quiet for a moment, his eyes getting more tear filled as he bounced a little on his feet. “She wouldn’t leave without telling anybody.” his voice cracked.

I’d been like this, with my mom. A crying, emotional wreck the second anything was wrong with her. When you grow up with a single mom, they become more than a parent. They are a friend, a mother, a constant. Loosing the only parent you have leaves the inner child in you scrambling for something to hold onto.

I’d long since given up needing someone to kiss my boo boos, but Adam was still close with his mom.

The hair on the back of my neck stood on end again. Since I’d gotten back yesterday, I felt on edge. I couldn’t figure out why. Something wasn’t right, had my hackles up. It was beginning to piss me off.

“It looks like she just dropped off the face of the earth, you know?” Adam continued.

It was silent for a few seconds, as the two men, my eldest brothers, looked at one another. It was in that moment that I realized this was the first time all three of my brothers and I were in the same room. I knew of them, Adam didn’t. They didn’t know about Adam and me. In this room, I had the most knowledge. Which meant, I was going to be questioned soon enough.

“Well, I’m just here for my laptop so I’m gonna…” I made to move out the room and back towards the stairs.

“Wait, where are you going?” The tallest asked.

“Somewhere.” I replied, leaving the room and charging up the stairs.

Once at my room, I closed the door and locked it.

Oh my god! Sam and Dean were here! How did they get here? What had Adam done?

If Sam and Dean knew, if Adam had called them, did that mean John know? Would John come? If John knew I’d let something to Kate, if this was all something metaphysical, I had failed.

He was going to kill me. I needed to get out of here, before he got here. Clean my tracks long before he rolled into town. I didn’t have time to waste.

Darting around my room, I grabbed my backpack and began packing everything I thought I needed. Shirts, only 2, a change of pants, spare hoodie, a handful of underwear and three socks, hairbrush.

Why the hell would Adam phone them? Why the hell would Adam think of calling John? I didn’t even know Adam and John were still in contact. Of all the stupid things my older brother had done, this one took the cake.

All I needed was my toothbrush and I’d be set.

Switching out my jacket for a warmer, waterproof coat, I slung my backpack on my shoulder and pulled my door open. And almost collided into a chest.

Shorter one stood before the door, crossing his arms when he spotted my backpack. “Going somewhere?’

Well crap…

[maxintime]

The more i think about tyler's behavior in the first episode, the more odd it becomes. I think the first time he met wednesday, he definitely didn't know who she was and was just acting like his usual nice self. But after that first meeting, i feel like he researched about her and asked thornhill who she was. The scene of him going through his dad's file, why did he decide to do that? Just curious? If so, why gave it to wednesday? If it's all part of his plan then why gave her key information about her dad's past that is linked to laurel gates (her dad allegedly murdered laurel's brother) it just doesn't make sense why he'd do that. Maybe an attempt to make her stay? He knows she'd be intrigued with a mystery, especially relating to her own parents.

I think, that after tyler met wednesday, he asked thornhill about her and thornhill gave him one order, to keep her in town

But when wednesday called tyler to ask him for help to escape jericho again, he agreed to help, no charge, not even a single hesitation in his voice

So, what was his plan? He could've easily rejected her, but he didn't. Which is weird. My theory is that he accepted to keep her close to him because he knew that if he rejected her request, she would've tried to escape anyway. So the night of the festival, tyler gave her gomez's file in order to make her stay. But it didn't work. Luckily, they just so happened to bump into rowan, and that was tyler's chance to make her stay. He had to show his hyde and kill rowan because he knew wednesday would be intrigued by it and tries to uncover why it killed rowan and not her.

And, it worked. She stayed in nevermore

[ramblingautisticman]

Advent Day 15! A special one for you all!

A Gift In The Making

Chapter 2 - A Weekly Tradition

Summary : Logan has a problem. What the fuck does he get Wade for Christmas?

(Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3.)

(Link the the A03 version in the title! I'll be updating next on Christmas Day (maybe Christmas Eve too..) Hope yall enjoy!)

----------------------------------------------------------

It was saturday, which meant Laura would be coming over for- what Wade called- family dinner. Logan honestly looked forward to these little get togethers every week, it was a nice chance to catch up with Laura while having a decent meal.

And this saturday's family dinner was going to be important, because this saturday's family dinner was going to help him with his issue.

You see, Logan had a plan. A good one.

During their dinner, he was going to casually ask everyone what they wanted for Christmas. If he asked Laura or Al- even if their presents had already been bought- he was positive that Wade would chime in with he wanted. It had to work! Then Logan would know what to get! It was a fool proof plan- atleast- it was in theory.

Of course, that didn't quiet happen. Not exactly.

Laura had shown up at the apartment with Al, Logan finished cooking up this weeks dish- a chicken pot pie with roast potatoes and vegetables- and they had all sat down at the table to eat, casual conversation quickly starting after they tucked in.

"So, how has school been Laura? How are they treating ya at the mansion?" Logan asked, a small smile on his face as he glanced up at her over the food. It had been bittersweet when Laura had told him she wanted to move into the mansion and go to school at Xavier's. On one hand, he knew it was the best place for her. She would get a great education and learn to hone her skills. The other hand though- well- that's where his past came back to haunt him.

He couldn't help but feel like something bad would happen to her while she was there, and he wouldn't be able to help. It had happened before, so why wouldn't it happen again? Wade had helped with the whole panicking if he thought about it thing, and Laura had assured him that if there was ever trouble Logan was the first person she would call. It still made him alittle anxious, but she seemed happy there and that was enough for Logan.

"Oh- pretty good actually. I'm passing all my classes with like mostly A's, and Professor Scott said I'll probably be top of my Combat class." She said, smiling right back up at him as she finished swallowing a potatoe. "And yes, you ask everytime, seriously Da-Logan..I'm fine! They are all very nice! You really do need to come over at some point...they are having a New Year's party I think..maybe you and Wade can come." She suggested, looking away embarrassed at her near miss.

She still hadn't called Logan 'Dad' yet, but she was getting their. Her and Logan were getting there. Laura was still getting used to having a parental (well, two with Wade) figure, and Logan was still getting used to being someone's parental figure. It would take awhile before they were both used to it, but they were doing pretty good so far.

Logan went to respond, to quickly shut down the idea of going and seeing those old friends he really wished to avoid, but before he could managed to- like alot of other times since he moved to this universe- Wade beat him too it.

"Ah! Your both so adorable- lil father daughter conversations! Also yes, we will be there! I promise! We can bring you back with us! We can go out and get some lunch the next day before your classes start back up again!" Wade rambled excitedly, earning a small chuckle from Logan.

Okay, he wasn't really excited about having to go to the mansion, but Laura wanted him too and with Wade there? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Plus, he had awhile to prepare himself. "Yeah...yeah okay, but we won't stay the whole time. Don't think I can deal with Scott that long." He said with a chuckle, smirking slightly at Laura before eating another vegetable off his plate.

"Perfect! Oooo- are they having a Christmas party? Do they do that? I mean, some of the kids don't have parents and homes they can go back too right? They have Christmas for those kids?" Wade asked, quickly turning from excited to concerned that kids might not celebrate at the mansion.

Logan quickly shut that down though. "They did in my universe. We did Hanukkah too for the few Jewish kids we had, and whatever else the kids celebrated. I'm sure they do here Wade, don't worry." He said gently, hoping to calm Wade down. Logan knew what he was like- if someone didn't say the kids got Christmas- he would probably start crying.

"Is that all you talk about bitch?" Al mutterd, quickly starting a little debate between her and Wade about 'the important of the Christmas spirit' and about how it 'isn't even December yet motherfucker!'.

Logan and Laura couldn't help but share a small laugh as they continued to eat, just watching as the argument unfolded.

Wade really was adorable when he got passionate like this. Wade took every chance he could to talk about anything and everything Christmas- and Logan realised that as the argument settled down- this was the perfect segway for what he wanted to ask.

"Talking of christmas- what's everyone wantin'? Laura? You have anything on ya list?" He asked as nonchalantly as he could, putting his cutlery down and turning his full attention to Laura.

She shrugged in response, continuing with her meal as she spoke. "Not much...maybe some stuff for school? Pens and notebooks and stuff like that? Clothes?" Laura spoke in an unenthusiastic tone, glancing up between Logan and Wade, then looking back down to her plate.

"Come on- you don't want anything exciting? Anything in particular? We can get you school supplies and clothing any time you want or need Mini Peanut! Come on, what is something you want? Not need." Wade asked, neglecting his own meal to now violently wave his hands around as he spoke.

"Yeah, Laura, honey, there has to be something you want! Make sure it's big and expensive! They can't say no to you!" Al chimed in, smirking alittle as she went back to her meal, Laura glancing up at her and smirking back.

Logan really wanted Laura to accept she could ask for things she needed- even things she wanted- and they were making slow process. She pointed out things she liked in the mall when they went, but always refused when anyone offered to get it for her. Luckily, Wade had made a small list of things she had hinted at wanting and they had bought her a few things, but they wanted to get her something she really wanted.

"I guess...I guess a sketchbook would be cool- Miss Ororo said my art was good..and she said I could use her one she wasn't using- but it'd be cool to...to have my own drawing stuff.." Laura muttered, eyes still glued to her plate of nearly finished food.

"You like art?" Logan asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion. She had never mentioned that. Sure, Laura had doodle on Wade's hand a few times when they were out and she got anxious, but he never really thought much of it. It was clearly something she was alittle insecure about, but Logan was glad she finally mentioned something.

Laura went to answer, but Wade was clearly too excited for that, so Logan watched as Laura quickly shut her mouth to let him talk. "That is amazing! I think we can manage something like that! Our little artist!" He said dramatically, Laura clearly easing up alittle at Wade being Wade, her and Logan chuckling in sync at his antics. Al couldn't help but laugh alittle too, even if she acted like Wade annoyed her, she did love her little family.

"Yeah, sure we can get you some drawing stuff- and seriously- if you need school supplies or new clothes, just tell us. Even if you just want something, tell us." Logan said, a small smile on his face as he looked over to Al. "And what about you Al? What do you want for Christmas?" He asked, that smile still on his face as he looked over at the women.

"Wade to shut up for more than 5 seconds would be nice!" She said with no real heat behind her words, as she playfully smacked said man's arm. It caused Wade to gasp loudly, placing a hand on his heart as if it was deeply offensive. Even if she couldn't see it, Al knew what he was doing.

"That and a new TV. Mine is on the fritz. Seriously- how am I ment to watch my shows when the goddamn audio is cutting in and out?" She asked, clearly annoyed at the situation she found herself in. Logan and Wade both looked at eachother with a fond smile, glad they had been right about what she had wanted, a brand new TV already wrapped and ready in their spare room.

Logan stared at Wade for a second longer before speaking again, taking a deep breath before asking the person he had really wanted too. "You Wade? What do you want? Sure Laura and Al wanna know what insane shit they need to buy you." He teased, hoping it wouldn't make Wade realise what he was doing.

Wade just smiled at him, and said in a very soft voice, that all he wanted was "A good christmas with my perfect family."

Which was nice. Really nice and sweet- and it made Logan's heart flutter for a second- but how the fuck was that helpful? How was that meant to help Logan?

Before he knew it, the conversation had moved on too a different topic, and once again Logan was sat thinking about what Wade would actually want. What Wade deserved.

Eventually Laura and Al left, and Wade was stood in the kitchen stacking up the plates in the sink for Logan to inevitably end up cleaning the following morning. Logan watched him with a small frown. Why didn't Wade just say something helpful? Tell him what he wanted? Wade loved asking Logan for things! Whenever Wade dragged him to the mall or to go shopping he was also pointing at things, begging Logan to buy them for him. So why wouldn't he say anything earlier?

"So, you want a good Christmas with your perfect family? Is that all?" He asked softly, slowly stepping behind Wade, placing his hands onto the others waist and resting his head on Wade's shoulder. Logan felt the other man's hum and nod, laughing alittle at the response. "That's it? No rare Hello Kitty figures? No new marshmallow squish things?" He asked, smiling softly up at Wade as he kissed his cheek.

"Nope. Just want this Christmas to go perfect. As perfect as I can pull of perfect anyway. Plus- I like getting other people gifts more than getting my own! It's fun! Wrapping them all up, writing the little messages...which you might need to help me with alittle...and getting to watch there face light up! It's the best part!" Wade said happily, turning around and pulling Logan up so he was standing properly. "Promise, that's all I want."

Logan nodded alittle and couldn't help but let his smile grow at the answer. It was such a Wade answer. He was always so selfless- even if he didn't admit it- and the one thing he wanted was making other people happy.

Logan knew, as he looked down at Wade with a smile, exactly what he was getting him for Christmas.

[brookediamonds]

these hands had to let it go free and this love came back to me | Axel Kovačević x fem! reader

based off this request

summary: after moving to the states from Hong Kong, you join a local dojo to pursue your love for karate and try to move on from the past you left behind. that included your ex-boyfriend that broke up with you right before you left. and little do you know, you'd come face to face with him once again.

Wc 2.k Warnings: none, fluff, angstttttt

not my gif

You had dreaded this moment. The day your dojo was invited to the Sekai Taikai, you prayed you wouldn't have to see him again. But there he was, dressed so nice in his green uniform, his captain's head band tied around his forehead you loved to kiss.

Axel Kovačević stood across from your team with the Iron Dragons, your former team. And now with seeing Tory stand with Cobra Kai, you couldn't help but feel sick to your stomach.

"You look like you're about to throw up," Miguel whispers over to you seeing your ill state.

"I might," you admit honestly.

"Maybe we can talk to her," Sam spoke up next to you.

"Yeah," you whisper knowing Tory wasn't the one consuming your thoughts.

Axel watched as the tall curly haired boy next to you reached behind you and rubbed your back comfortingly. Had you moved on? Who was this guy touching you?

After the head guy of the competition introduced all of the teams, and talked about the history of the Sekai Taikai, you're released for the day due to mingling events the sensei's have to attend and activities for the students to do.

As everyone was assigned to their designated rooms, you stood with Miguel and Sam waiting for Robby to return back to the group as he went to talk to Tory.

"Maybe I can ask my dad if we can go to one of the restaurants near here for dinner," Sam said scrolling through her phone seeing the map around the area.

"Johnny said all the student's are being treated to dinner at some restaurant nearby," Miguel interjected glumly.

"All the students?" You froze. That meant...

"(Y/n!)" You recognized her accent, the perky fake attitude hidden behind her voice.

"Why's that girl coming over?" Sam questions you.

"Well long time no see," Zara approaches you a smug look on her face. You roll your eyes, turning to face the people you least wanted to see.

"Hi, Zara," you respond curtly crossing your arms over your chest.

"Sorry Axel couldn't say hi," she dramatically pouts. "He's busy finding our room. Cause we're together."

Our room? They were together?

"Can't say I'm surprised, you always did come up second to me," you tsk'd, tilting your head.

Sam and Miguel raised their eyebrows, eyes widening at your pettiness. They knew you could hold your own, but this was a new side of you they'd never seen before. And they were all for it.

Zara shot daggers at you, scoffing at your remark.

"Watch your back," she threatened glaring at you before walking away.

"Okay, start connecting those dots," Miguel and Sam step towards you wanting clarification. You stared off thinking back to when Axel ended things between you two.

A year ago...

You stretched on the mat of your dojo, distracted by the news your parents just gave you. Your mom received a promotion at work and the new position took place in Los Angeles, California.

You loved where you had grown up, even though you're originally from the states, you had spent the last ten years here. No dojo would be able to go through the same lengths as this one.

And California sure as hell didn't have Axel Kovačević, your current boyfriend. You had fallen in love with his dedication and quiet demeanor. He was your favorite mystery.

Seeing Axel walk into the dojo, you stood up on your feet and walk up to him.

"Hey," you greet him softly wrapping your arms around his frame. Axel goes stiff making you frown.

"Everything okay?" You ask pulling back from his body.

"Yes, need to go change," he says abruptly avoiding eye contact with you. Your shoulders deflated, at his sudden distant attitude. The only time he does this is when something is on his mind.

The next few hours of practice feel extremely long, especially when your sensei is taking every opportunity to call you out on every mistake you make.

When class is over, you wait outside the building for Axel, hoping you could talk him through whatever was on his mind.

"There you are," your boyfriend says seeing your figure standing alone outside the doors.

"I was waiting for you," you give him a small smile. Axel gives you a faint smile, his eyes still not entirely meeting your own.

"Axel, what's the matter?" You ask reaching out to stroke his arm. He takes your hand in his, squeezing it lightly.

"I- I think we should break up," he says hesitantly. You feel your heart drop to the pit of your stomach.

"What?" You blink, thinking maybe you misheard him. Maybe make out?

"I do not feel we belong together, I am sorry if this hurts your feelings," he says robotically. You drop his hand making him look down at you.

"D-Did I do something?" You stutter trying to find out where you went wrong this past week.

"It's not you," he shakes his head. "I think this is for the best."

You try to hold back the tears that swell in your eyes, his words cutting deep into you. None of this had made sense.

"Axel, I don't understand-" you begin to talk but he cuts you off with an impatient sigh.

"I do not want you anymore, (Y/n)!" He raises his voice startling you.

Oh. You nodded quickly wiping away the fresh hot tears cascading down your cheeks. He didn't want you anymore, he outgrew you.

"Got it," you muttered no longer looking at the boy you adored. "I'm not enough for you anymore."

"(Y/n)," Axel attempted to reach out for you but you had taken a step back not wanting to hear his excuses.

"Don't," you warn him making him stop in his place. "You made yourself clear."

He dropped his hand, watching your face turn to stone.

"Goodbye, Axel," say coldly before walking in the opposite direction, away from him.

Little did he know it would be the last time he saw you. When he saw your empty locker the next day, he was dumbfounded, no way you left this dojo just because of him.

He then learned a few weeks later, you were gone. You left home and there was no way of getting you back.

Present

"Last I heard, Sensei Wolf had lost the dojo to gambling, but I guess he got it back," you explained to your friends.

You, Sam, Miguel, and Robby hung out in your room waiting for it to be time to go to the aquarium.

"So this Axel guy, you two used to date?" Robby asked carefully.

"Yup," you respond lowly. "Didn't last that long."

"I can't imagine how weird this must be for you," Sam empathizes with you. You've always appreciated her grace, it's something that lacked severely at your last dojo.

"Not really," you admit sheepishly. "Iron Dragons had the best fighters, but it doesn't mean we worked well as a team."

Sam gave you a look knowing that's not what she meant.

"I moved on from him, we broke up before I left town anyway," you shrug off, avoiding their gazes.

At least you think you moved on.

-------------------------------------------------------

Your body was on high alert everywhere you went, the boy you fell in love with still gave you the same nerves he had given you on your very first date.

And you hated it. You were supposed to hate him after he did what he did to you. He made you feel small, like you were nothing.

Miyagi-Do made sure to never let you feel that way again. They accepted you for who you were and all that you are.

"You've got be kidding me..." you mumble seeing Axel and Zara sit diagonal from you, a couple of seats down from Robby and Miguel whom directly across from you and Sam.

"What's the matter?" Sam asks filled with concern. Her eyes trail down the table, landing on the issue that was bothering you. She lets out an angry sigh.

"Do you wanna move further down?" She suggests thoughtfully.

"No, we were here first," you held your head high, adjusting the menu in your hold. Sam nods, and from the corner of your eye you see her gesture to the people to the left of Miguel and Robby making them glance that way.

"There's so much room down there, they had to pick the chairs closest to us," Robby shakes his head in annoyance.

You can't help but giggle at your friend's protective state, one thing about this friend group; they will treat you like their own family.

"What's funny?" Miguel asks trying to see the comical side of this ordeal.

"Nothing," you grin at the three confused teenagers. "I just... love you guys."

"We love you too," Sam reciprocates wrapping an arm around you, leaning her head on your shoulder. You follow suit, laying your head on top of hers.

Unbeknownst to you, Axel is watching everything that happens. He sees your beautiful smile, the one that only a few people can bring out of you, it makes his heart ache.

He hears your laughter from down the table and can't help but want to know what was so funny? Who was making you gasp for air from how hard you were laughing?

He had missed the sound of your sweet giggles, to hear them again made him crack a smile he hardly wore now that you were gone.

For a brief moment, your eyes wonder down the table and connect with a pair of dark blue irises making your heart jump. Do you smile? Wave? Look away?

Before one of you can acknowledge each other, Zara catches sight of the two of you and holds her phone up in front of her and Axel making you break eye contact.

Right, they're together.

You focus back on Robby, slightly turning your body so you didn't have to face Axel the rest of the night.

When dessert was being passed around, you excused yourself needing to use the bathroom.

After you finished your business, you walked out into the hall but stop in your place when you see the tall Croatian boy standing a few feet away from you.

"Hey," Axel greets you, his deep voice sending a flutter through your heart.

"Hi," you exhale, taking in the sight of the boy in front of you. He wore a pair of black joggers, a red t-shirt, and his black jacket you would borrow time from time.

You make your way to walk past him, when he tugs at your hand, twirling you around to pull you in close, and smashes your lips together.

Fireworks erupted through your stomach, as he ran his hand through your locks, tugging your body close to his as much as possible.

You gasped shoving the boy back, realizing what had just happened.

"Why did you do that?" You demanded, tears brimming in your eyes.

"There's something you need to know," Axel says desperately making you shake with anger.

"You broke up with me," You pointed to yourself, reminding him he was the one who wanted out. "You said you didn't want me anymore."

"Is everything okay over here?"

You turn to see Robby standing behind you, his eyes filled with concern for you.

"All good," you smile faintly at your co-captain, walking towards him wiping away your salty tears.

"(Y/n)-" Axel reaches out for you again only for Robby to step in front of you.

"Let her go, man," Robby says calmly. Axel's face fell as you avoid his gaze.

Your friend wrapped an arm around you as you crossed your arms, guiding you away from your ex-boyfriend.

------------------------------------------------------

Sleeping was inevitable. You tossed and turned unable to get comfortable. There's something you need to know?

Ripping your sheets off, you quietly get out of bed and write a note for Sam incase she wakes up wondering where you went.

You decide to head to the hotel's gym to practice your breathing work that Sensei Toguchi taught you when you're feeling overwhelmed.

As you walked into the studio, you're taken by surprise when you see someone else was borrowing the room.

"Oh," you see Axel turn to you mid-move his eyes widening.

"S-Sorry," you apologize, "I'll go."

"Wait," Axel walks towards you, stopping when you start fidgeting with your fingers knowing it was a nervous tick you had.

"I do not apologize for kissing you," he confesses. "I missed you."

You shut your eyes, groaning at his words.

"You're with Zara," you point out to him. "You can't kiss me and be with her at the same time."

"I am not with Zara," Axel furrows his eyebrows, a small frown evident on his face. There was a jump of excitement that ran through you but then you remembered how things ended.

"Fine, with her, not with her, it's all the same," you mumble. "You ended us after a few months, with no explanation."

"I did not want to," he says urgently afraid you'd leave before finally being honest with you.

You narrowed your eyes at the guilty boy across from you, confused at what he was getting at.

"Sensei Wolf said we became distraction for each other," Axel explains.

A distraction?

"I did not want to hold you back, so I followed sensei's orders," he states. "I let you go so you could continue being the best fighter you could be."

You moved to sit down near the closest bench processing what he had just informed you.

"But now that I see you here, with those other guys," his hands turn into fist, tightening at the thought of them making you smile. "It makes me angry, I made mistake breaking up with you."

Axel tests the waters and moves to stand in front of you. You glanced up at him, slowly standing up your face only meeting chest level with the lengthy boy.

"Those guys are my friends, they're my family now," you explain softly. His familiar cologne filled your senses causing tingles to run through your body. You had missed him, all of him.

A year wasn't nearly long enough to forget what you two had, you still loved every little thing about him. His adoring freckles, his calming demeanor, his hard to pull smile.

"They look like they love you," he scoffs holding back an eye roll.

"They do love me," you say matter factly. "Because we're a team, we look out for each other."

"Do they love you as much as I do?" He asks throwing you for a loop. He closed the gap between you two, moving your hair over your shoulder.

You shuddered as Axel ran the back of his pointer finger over your cheek, finding it difficult to keep holding your wants back.

"They might," you murmur raising your hand to mess with the zipper of his jacket. He leans down, hovering his lips above yours, his warm breath mixing with your own.

"Do they kiss you like I used to?" He whispers before capturing your lips with his. It's passionate but sweet, making you chase after his lips when he pulls away.

"Maybe," you respond breathlessly as he tilted your head to the side giving him access to leave soft pecks down your neck.

"Do they even know what it takes to handle a woman like you?" He spoke lowly against your skin, tugging at the back of your hair lightly to make you look up at him.

You bit your lip, eyes hazily meeting his own.

"Probably," you teased. Axel ran a thumb across your bottom lip before diving in to brush his lips against yours, this time his tongue explored your mouth, getting to know it all over again.

When you come up for air, he leans his forehead against yours, pecking the tip of your nose.

"I am afraid if I let you go again, I will never see you, kiss you, or touch you, again," he frowns, rubbing your back soothingly.

"Then, don't," you beg. "I've missed you too."

"You do?" He asks searching for an answer in your eyes. You bring your hand to stroke his cheek.

"I always do," you respond. "Everyday."

"I do not care what sensei says, I love you and I will do anything to be with you again," he states.

"Anything?" You ask raising a skeptical eyebrow. Axel laughs pulling you into his chest, resting his chin on top of your head.

"Anything and everything," he promises leaving a sweet kiss to the top of your hair.

Anything and everything was true, Axel and you kept in contact the next few months until you both graduated and finally flew to see one another.

Turns out the study abroad program you applied to back in September had an opening in Europe making things just a little bit easier to see the man you loved.

[thechy-fychannel]

hi i am a chase adorer and as such would like to know your opinions on that weird little himbo

it is my belief that chase has/had a rather strong crush on house, probably influenced to a large degree by his severe case of the daddy issues (fawning subtype, in contrast to house's fighting subtype). i think that combining this with his lack of self-esteem (see: voluntarily working for house for ~7 years) would make him INCREDIBLY vulnerable to house asking him for sexual favors. like even if it was a joke i think chase would just kinda go for it and probably freak out house a little, but i digress. do you see my vision?

anyway my point is i am a chase lover and chouse shipper, do you have thoughts on my blorbo or my ship?

hi anon i'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get around to answering this!! honestly it took me a WHILE to put my thoughts together about chase bc I have a lot of em!!

first of all, chase is SUCH a weird little himbo, he's incredibly complicated and accomplished and tbh I feel like the show never took him seriously enough until the very end when they were setting him up to take over for house. there's something about that catholic guilt and the constant need to be the specialist boy in the whole world while NEVER succeeding at being treated like the specialist boy in the world that's just lick your fingers delicious when you break his character down. he's filled with so much need and desire and is any of it ever fulfilled? No. As are many such cases.

anon, I see your vision SO MUCH and it's exactly how I feel about them too. while I don't necessarily ship chouse in a positive sense, I also dig the very unhealthy dynamic they would have as this gross unbalanced hookup situationship where chase is like "🥺 he wouldn't keep propositioning me if he didn't actually like me, even if he won't admit it 🥺" and house is like "damn, he looks pretty on his knees, maybe i should follow him into the bathroom" alfjalfklakfld.

I was just rewatching clips from when chase's dad visits and house genuinely feels so bad for chase bc he sees the amount of hurt his dad caused him and he definitely sees a lot of himself and his own daddy issues there. (bonus points for house calling him "robert" in this soft way that I rly love) I could definitely see this being the catalyst for something happening between them, chase is sad and broody with those sad watery eyes and house has a real moment of vulnerability with him, says something nice to him and then tries to cover it up by saying something inappropriate. As a joke. Obviously. but chase takes it literally and makes a pass at him that house initially rejects, but then chase gets even more sad and embarrassed and house actually feels bad for the guy— that poor pathetic blond puppy with wet eyes and a pretty mouth... and he rolls his eyes and tells himself he "lets it happen" while being a very active participant in whatever comes next.

the first time could be written off just as two repressed men taking comfort in each other in a moment of father-induced vulnerability... but the rest of the times are definitely an unfortunate combination of chase's lack of self esteem and house's selfish, manipulative nature. chase is just so much prettier (and cheaper) than the male hookers available in the tri-state area and he's just as easy. chase isn't stupid by any means, he knows what house is looking for when his eyes drag up and down his figure and make some comment about his pretty lips or girlish waist or "chase in his little short shorts." but poor chase is just so eager, so hopeful, so romantic. he could easily convince himself that they have something deep and meaningful when it's really just bj's in the sleep lab or the very occasional late night booty call.

and house can be so gross about it too, especially when he learns that he can be gross and it doesn't deter chase— actively holding his job over him in such a teasing and casual way that chase convinces himself there's no way he'd ever get rid of me, look at the way he throws the threat around if I stopped giving him what he wants, it's all just a joke to him. And then house fires him :) and oh boy would chase have a meltdown and reevaluate his entire life bc what do you mean he's not house's special boy? he was supposed to be his special boy. but he isn't, and he never will be bc he's doomed to be daddy's little disappointment forever, just like house :)

[sketchthetofu]

Rabbit looks at Destined in surprise, well that was a completely different situation than he thought it was!!! He just thought Noir liked the real world better than his own, not that he would die if he went back!!! That’s awful!!! “HES GONNA DIE???!!! That’s awful D:!!! I thought he, I don’t know, just didn’t like his world! Not that! I bet you guys can figure something out, but still uagh….. :(“ Rabbit couldn’t think of William dying again, it made him sick to think about but to Destined that was an overclouding threat to all of them going home…. He wouldn’t go home if it was going to kill his William, yeah it would suck, but still, he’d rather William alive than be selfish. “Yeah stinky dude…. I’m glad I wasn’t mutated when I ate him because, oh boy! That would’ve sucked with my double enchanted senses-“ Rabbit scrunches his noise thinking about it, yuck!!!

Rabbit melts into Destined attaching to him, his instincts fully latching onto Destined in this empty awful room, he was his burrow mate, just a different version of him but still, Rabbit felt safe and that he could rely on Destined to watch his back even though they had just met recently, which was… odd… odd but good. “A wizard… hah neat! He kinda had a hero costume that was like a wizards, kinda- your dad is magical? I met my Vyncents dad but he was strung up on a wall and wasn’t doing good, I was able to talk to his mom though!!!” He mentioned like it was an afterthought, just another fact of his world, Vyncents dad was evil, and he almost died because of it, but! Vyncent didn’t seem too caught up about that anymore so Rabbit won’t be either, there’s other things to worry about, though maybe he should check up on Vyncent some time soon about it. It was getting a bit harder to talk, a fuzzy feeling slowly creeping into Rabbits mind with the back and forth Destined and he had, the comfort and safeness he felt, but he still pushed forward for now. “I’ve been in box before, not fun… but! It’s okay with you here, this is okay, nice.” Seeing Destineds joy and excitement made Rabbits goofy grin stick as he giggles which stumble and tumble into a louder, but still comfortable, purr, Destineds energy being contagious as Rabbits tail continues to go a mile an hour. “Yeah!!! We can figure out how to get in there!!! My William hasn’t gotten into all this au stuff so I haven’t been there before, but we can make it work somehow!” They are just so happy and safe and comfortable- wueuweuweyweuwue-

Slides into your ask box, Hi sketch!!!

I wanna slowly hand you Isekai!Vyncent (still need a specific name for all these people 😭) to Rabbit Dakota cause Isekai Vynce is especially creature coded and I think it would be fun if we put them in a box…. YIPPE

HIIIII WELCOME TO THE RP CHAOS HEHEHE

Loooovvveeee putting Rabbit in a box, my favorite past time <3. And creature coded characters my beloved… U want feral Rabbit or regular Rabbit :D? (Feral Rabbit: SOOO jumpy and skittish and stuck in his instincts)

[boromirswife]

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

[ohio-thestate]

I have an unending hatred for those microwave dinners like why are the bbq ones the only ones that taste like anything

"spaghetti and meatballs" oh you mean starch noodles with tomato water and flavorless pieces of meat?

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[adore-gregor]

🙄🫠

[orcelito]

I think I cried harder today over my dad's jackets than I did at his deathbed. That was a miserable time of course, a memory that will likely be seared into my brain until I die, but I cried... I think a normal amount, all things considered. More than I ever usually do of course, but I typically don't cry At All. All this free crying is certainly surreal.

The jackets, though. I was put in charge of doing his laundry, because we don't want to pack up dirty clothes. I was expecting it to be unpleasant bc my dad's dirty clothes - gross. But really, it was much more unpleasant in that... those were his. It felt wrong to touch them. Felt wrong to treat his jackets as gross. Because they were just his jackets. They weren't even in the hamper. And then I was remembering him wearing them, and then I was crying. Again. And again. Weeping over these damn jackets.

Then I found a shirt on his bed that still smelled like him. It smelled like a Hug From Dad. And that set me off crying even harder.

In total, I think I cried like 6 times within 40 minutes. It took me that long to finish sorting the damn clothes bc I just. Was a wreck. Like, what are you supposed to do when you're living life like normal, vaguely hopeful bc you're taking steps to secure your own happiness, and then 4 days later you're sorting your dad's laundry because he fucking died. Suddenly. Without a goodbye.

And you have to worry about his lack of a will (even under an ideal situation, only 2 heirs and no conflicts between us, probate's a fucking Bitch), and arranging the funeral, and prepping his obituary, and picking out pictures, and writing a speech bc you want to talk at his funeral, of Course you want to talk at his funeral, but even just thinking about anecdotes you could share has you crying yet again.

I've cried more times in the past 3 days than likely the entirety of last YEAR. And that's WITH my cat, and uncle, and family friend dying. Those all hurt, my uncle most of all, & I was real fucked up over it. But this? This was my Dad. Likely the person I'd have named 2nd closest to me in my life, second only to my sister. He wasn't perfect, but he did so much for me throughout my entire life. All he wanted was to raise us to be happy and independent. And he accomplished it, we're getting by without him, but we still wanted several more decades with him. He was only 57. We should've gotten several more decades with him.

But here we are now. Playing investigators to his life, digging into all his shit, trying to find documents and take inventory of all his things, and learning Many things about him in the process. In his lockbox of sensitive documents, like his SSN and birth certificate and all that stuff, we found an old letter. About a decade old now, written in my hand. Right at the very top, we found that he'd kept the letter I wrote to him telling him frankly about my struggles and the things I wanted him to do better. He kept it. He tried to take it to heart. He looked at it again, sometime more recently than all the rest of the documents. That was on top.

His love for us is evident everywhere. The pictures he has hanging up all over the place, majority of them with us in them. The old fathers day cards placed on display in his bedroom bookshelf. The gifts we gave him, even stupid little knick knacks, placed around his apartment with pride. I wish we'd taken more videos of him. I don't want to forget the sound of his voice. I don't want to forget his smell either, the smell of a Hug From Dad, but I still tossed that shirt into the wash even though it felt like saying yet another goodbye.

It's the suddenness that hurts the most, I think. We were planning on having him help me finally get my license this year. My final words to him, the last thing he would've seen from me, were messages asking up on whether he'd called his car insurance company to make sure there wouldn't be problems. I should've called him more. I don't know if I'm going to learn from this.

I cut my 2 weeks off early to have time to grieve and to work on things for the funeral and settling the estate. The last thing I'd wanna do right now is selling fucking bubble tea in a job I already decided to leave. So here I am without a job, though with potentially two life insurance policy payouts to come. Inheriting half his 401k. Inheriting couches, knickknacks, keepsakes, paintings, art pieces, maybe even his guitar and other furniture if we can figure out what to do about space (I don't have room for this furniture, I don't know if I even have room for the couches, but God do I want to keep so much of this furniture). It has me even considering keeping one of his guns, just one. A tiny little revolver, it sits so comfortably in my hand. I don't even want to use it for anything. I just want to have it, keep it stored in a drawer with its ammo kept separate. I don't like guns, but this is a part of him. He loved collecting guns. He was about as responsible with them as someone can be, keeping them locked in a lockbox and impressing upon his children the importance of gun safety (I've known the basic gun safety rules ever since I was a little kid. Of course, of course, of course.) It reminds me of him. It's horrifically easy to have a gun in Indiana. I apparently don't even need a permit to carry anymore. (I have no intention to ever carry this in public.)

It's all a cycle. Business, grief, thoughts about my future. Round and round, like the most nauseating carousel in existence. I don't know how I'm still so functional. My skills with compartmentalization have been my lifesaver.

And im just thinking about the story my dad's best friend shared today. About a friend of theirs who lost her father. She reached out after hearing about my dad to share his words with her: "it's okay to grieve, but don't make his death your life".

He explicitly referenced himself in this, saying if he were to die suddenly that he wouldn't want us to define ourselves by it. Grief is expected, but he wants us to be able to move on. He's always wanted us to establish ourselves and make ourselves happy. He wouldn't want to be a weight holding us back from that.

So every time I start to feel guilty for thinking about having nicer furniture or using his life insurance payout to fund the rest of my college, I remind myself of that. Thinking about the material isn't a bad thing. I'm only human. And in the end, he'd Want me to be thinking about it. He never intended to die, certainly not without warning like this, so he would've only encouraged me being pragmatic about it all.

He only ever wanted us to be happy. So I need to do what I can to live up to that.

I love him. I miss him already.

[honeyyglaze]

I’ve dreamt of the same person 4 nights this week

[joyridingmp3]

can my entire family stop being suicidal for one second so I can enjoy my weekends instead of having to monitor their mental wellbeing on my only two free days (/hj)