#life is confusing

[tobbesdiscordkitten]

I liked that theory from anon about the baby names for Axl & Erin.

Axl deserved to be a dad. life isn’t fair sometimes. but don’t worry, he can adopt me. 😏🥹😭

It was an interesting theory for sure. I loved discussing it.

Same! 🤝🏻 He can be our dad and we’ll be the rambunctious siblings lol.

[dandelionfairyyy]

You know the worst thing when having a crush?

When you won’t be able to see him because you both work the early shift in different companies, on different sides of the city and you don’t have his number yet.

But: he knows you will have the early shift and for some time for now. And the joy when you see him again will be bigger.

And maybe he misses you as well. At least just a little bit…

Also: early shift is torture. I don’t know how he is able to look so good and awake… I look like a panda on coffee-withdrawal…

Thanks for listening to my daily shit you beautiful human. ♥️

Now you can carry on with whatever you were doing :)

[obsessingoverl]

Overhearing my bestie talk about her ED and recovery while she doesn't know my issues with food

[minuslinus]

Life sure is confusing, isn't it, Charlie Brown?

[delisesgayagenda-754]

Guys look here, I have figured it out. For Men I am Demisexual okay? So I need a real emotional connection with a man to be attracted to them. Don’t get me wrong like y’all are beautiful looking but the attractive pull to you isn’t there immediately. That takes time and trust… AND I have trust issues so yeah I am not going to automatically swoon over men.

For women?? I am a full on hot mess Lesbian that will be attracted right away and fall in love if they just compliment me once. I will melt instantly 🫠

[lifenconcepts]

thought that some of y’all who are constantly trying to find people similar to them would enjoy the fact that you may feel better with finding medical statements of your experience being documented and acknowledged.

sorry if it’s a bit unclear in how I wrote but.. when you’re looking through tags and media and what not,, you’re looking for others to define what you also feel so you can point it out and say “yeah, me too! That’s what I’ve been trying to say and comprehend!” Or what to do about it Or why it happens, but really, looking through certain medical lists and information, such as some app with a bunch of psychological or physical stuff (sites probably do exist but I just don’t know any to point out right now, please reply if you have any) but.. so….

If you’re confused about your mind and want recognition that you’re not making it up, find a medical statement and study on what it is that’s happening in that mind and body of yours. Ya hear!?

[captainpirateface]

[yourtwistedlies]

new romantics is somehow my anthem but ive never been in relationship before???

[thefarawaystar]

Every now and again I see the lights flicker. I wonder if anyone else sees. No one reacts, and I wonder if I blinked, and hadn't felt it, even though my eyes are still dry. I wonder if the lights are really flickering, or if I'm just reminding myself I'm afraid of the dark.

[normalpeoplethiings]

life is confusing. i think it’s just a simulation or a video game and we are the characters, and that when we die we will be put into a new simulation that will be completely different to this one and maybe it will have flying cars or something and we will all be green and have ten eyes.

[dandelionfairyyy]

I don’t know what this is. First time in my life it feels right to write with a guy. He seems to be a walking green flag, sent from god, I swear, he appeared in the perfect moment and stayed so far.

I smile when I think about him and last night… I smile when I tell my friends about him…

What the fuck is this? My life was chaos and suddenly it feels perfect, just because I met a cute guy who seems to be interested in me…

And why do I feel so good around him? Where is this typical gut feeling that says something’s wrong with this situation?

Where is my fear of commitment?

Suddenly all silent…

And I only know this guy from 8 hours work…

That’s not good, right? That’s bad… omg… nooooo… aaahhhhhh!

I think I’m just going to die…

I mean, he offered me to lend me a specific hoodie(!!!) (long story)… how much of boyfriend material is that?

And the way he started flirting with me yesterday… I don’t know when it was the last time I laughed so much… it was all bad jokes but he made it so funny…

For example, I stumbled over his foot (all by accident) and I played a little offended and was like “excuse you?” Like “how you dare to put your foot in my way.”

And he simply answered: “I had to find at least one way to lay you down.”

(To lay someone down means in my mother tongue laying someone… and it has two meanings, laying someone and like actually laying down…)

He said it in such a funny way… and it was always like this the whole 8 hours shift…

And now apparently it happened again… I started just rambling about him… NOT GOOD!

Brain? Stop this! 👀

Help! What is this? What do I do?

Why do I suddenly want this with him when yesterday I was like “nu-uh never ever” with another guy?

I am so confused by life…

[frog-0n-a-l0g]

Is it normal to just be chilling w ur pet or someone and they do smth that annoys you or get too close so then you want it off and don’t fucking touch me and get away before I cry of anger of you being near me. I feel like that might be the autism or smth

[dearduende]

how

how do I say

I want to do nothing

when the world keeps turning

and hurting and busyness

keeps churning as usual,

how do I feel

so tired all the time

maybe it’s the wheels spinning

stuck like my mind

and even writing

fails to un-stick me

the way it usually does,

how do I notice

the blur of burnout

in my periphery again,

that feeling of being heavy

with exhaustion and numbness again

that fear of tipping over the edge

(of what, I don’t know)

but it feels like I’m just about

to twitch and jump awake

except this sleeplessness

and sleepiness never ends.

how do I keep moving

when I’ve lost sight of the path

and I can barely manage the basics

to get me through the day

how do I slow down

how do I stop this

how do I hop off this train

that I’m not sure I even wanted

to board in the first place.

how do I even know

where I want to go

when all I want to do

is stop moving

for a moment.

[nothanksbi]

Today we held hands again.

I know, I know, it wasn't even two full seconds, but you can't measure how you feel based on how long something lasts. Recently it's been harder and harder to remember you might just be doing and saying certain things simply because you feel more comfortable around me, as a friend you're starting to really trust. I'm trying to remember all of you instead of just the parts of you which bring butterflies to my stomach, so if I continue to like you, I know I'm not deceiving myself, I know I really do like you just as you are. And today, when I offered my hand and was expecting something of a half-clap awkward handhold, you did exactly what I was secretly wishing for - that you'd just hold my hand like it was second nature. It lasted for hardly more than a second, but it felt like eternity.

I dared not look at you with that stupid grin on my face. I know I've been trying to drop hints, but what if I become too obvious and you find out exactly what you do to me? (And really, what if you find out? Isn't that exactly what I want?) So I offered you my hand and focussed my attention on the dog in front of us, wishing you'd hold my hand and willingly so. I wanted to see if you were looking at me or avoiding eye contact just like I was. I wanted to see if you had turned all red again, the way you do when (I think) you're laughing and blushing at something I said. But I knew if I turned, I'd give myself away.

So when the moment ended, I went straight ahead to pet the dog. And there you were, looking at me, half smiling half trying to hide that smile...that damn smile. Do you know how hard you're making it for me to not fall for you every time we meet? As if that wasn't enough, after we entered the classroom after that, consciously or not, you seemed to stick around me all day till you decided to go back home because college today was shit. It was so hard for me to not turn around and look at you, because you were right fucking there, all cute and grumpy from boredom, red as tomatoes with frustration because (like I wrote earlier) college today was shit. You played with my bottle of water because you were bored. You played with the wheels of my wheelchair too. You looked like you wanted to start a conversation with me so many times, but something held you back. I looked at you all day today...I looked at you till I thought I had reached the limit of being obvious. And all the while I couldn't stop thinking about the way you held my hand almost as soon as we met today.

I know I'm falling, and I can't help it...I don't want to help it. But are you falling too?

[amenti-aardwolf]

Does anybody else crank the car radio up loud enough to drown out your own voice so you can sing along and pretend that you sound like whoever is singing and not yourself?

I do it with masc voices a lot; it feels so weird but so... free. To have my mouth move, my vocal chords vibrate, and the sound that is heard is just... different. Not femme. Just feeling.

It's my chance to escape and be the person I'm not allowed to be; to be who I am inside for just a few minutes. To forget what I am, what I appear to be to others, and just be... me.

It's my chance to pull off the veil that I wear day in and day out; the veil that I so constantly want to rip to shreds though I fear the consequences. The veil that I have almost come to accept as the truth. But no, it can't be the truth. The truth can't feel so... wrong.

I miss my name. Not the name that I was given at birth, but MY name. I have not heard it except from my own mouth and that is more painful than I ever could have imagined. "That's a nice name," I was told earlier today. I fought not to cringe at the comment; "my" name may be nice, but it's not mine. It's the name of what I was supposed to be. The name of what I'm not.

I am tired. I am restless. I am... hopeless. It's hard to have hope when you are shrouded with fear. What if they don't like the real me? What if I'm wrong and I make things worse? What if I lose myself in my quest to be seen as what I really am?

But my real question is...

When can I truly escape?