#lgbtq erasure in media

[cobragardens]

"They were cousins"

Saw that review and became FULLY POSSESSED until I finished this

[ shop ]

[deedeedeedeedeedeedee]

Whoever decided at Netflix to make the characters in their adaptation of Dorian Gray brothers....I want your head on a plate. I hope your pillow is warm and I hope your life is filled with misery. I have more to say later. I need to pull myself together for a less malicious response

[m3r1m4r5u333]

I might go a bit silent for some time after this post because I've been neglecting my real life lately in a way that's seriously about to bite my arse, but. I'm here to say something that I fervently wish the 9-1-1 fandom, and the queer audiences, or fans of queer fiction in general... will hear and embrace. It's this:

This is the time to let your freak flag fly!!!!

Don't you DARE hold yourself back!!!

Let that freak flag fly!!!

I say that because we need that enthusiasm for our survival. We need that enthusiasm NOW.

Who is this we? It's us!! Fans of the show. Fans of queer fiction. Queers! Allies! People who believe in love! Queer representation in media!!

Because do you even realize what this show just did when it gave us a canonized bisexual Buck, kissing a man on screen, for the first time, in season 7 of the show?

No, it wasn't fan service. It wasn't the show folding to an obsessive queer audience.

No, this was planned, from the very beginning. Anyone who pays any attention and watches the show with open eyes can see it was.

They wanted to create a closeted bisexual character who would stay in the closet for a good while. And they did.

Yes, I am being 100% serious, yes, I absolutely believe this to be true.

These characters we follow, these storylines we watch... Do you really think these characters are just the result of random keysmashing, the writers just going

"Hmm I don't really have a plan here, let's just call this guy "Buck" and release him into the world! ... What do you mean, who is he?

I don't fucking know, he's Buck, let's just decide what to do with him later! I'm going to lunch now, who's coming with me?"

No. These characters are designed. They are planned. They are crafted out by teams of writers, who brainstorm and discuss, and pitch plans, and figure them out:

Which quirk makes them interesting, what secret are they hiding, what are their flaws, what's their backstory, why do they behave like they do...

What to do with them, what kind of story to build with them, whom to match them with for future romances... And so on.

The end result is thought out, because they want the characters to be complex, and human... yet consistent...

And to serve a purpose: to help the storytellers create meaningful stories, and illuminate important issues.

And this character design process nowadays? It definitely includes figuring out what the character's sexuality is - way before you release them into the world!!!

Because the writers know they need to know, and understand the character, to operate them in a way that makes sense, and sexuality is an important part of the "design".

Because that's how you ensure consistent behavior, how you establish a personality!!! I'm being serious, this is just basic characterization, and worldbuilding, and these writers are professionals.

Sexuality is a trait that real people are fairly consistent about, and good fiction imitates real life. For example... If my dad just out of the blue got busy with another man, I would be quite stunned because I've spotted no signs that he might be closeted. Ever.

So if you want to create a closeted bisexual character, and not have people go "there were literally zero signs of this"... You plan. From the start.

And not just to avoid pissing off the straight audience!!! We queers don't appreciate half-assed queer characters any more than they do!!! That's ignorant and lazy, a casual middle finger to the queer audience.

But Buck's closeted bisexuality... It WAS definitely planned. It was CLEARLY planned. In a way that would make justice to the real bisexuals watching.

"Oooh but you're delusional, he's a womanizer, he's been a womanizer!!!"

Exactly. Because guess what? That isn't unrealistic at all. That is real life illustrated into fiction.

This is actually fairly common behavior for bisexuals, this era of almost hypersexual interest in the "opposite sex".

It is both genuine interest, and a front. It is genuine because it's not a lie. These closeted bisexual "womanizers" (or if it's a woman, "man-eaters")... Of course they are truly into these people they so eagerly court, why wouldn't they be. Buck sought out women, because he is into women.

And as said, it is also a front. Because it is often triggered by underlying insecurity. You think you're straight, or desperately want to be straight... But something just feels off. Maybe you notice someone who you "shouldn't" be drawn to, maybe you find that your eyes linger on odd things. Maybe you get turned on by something you "shouldn't".

And that freaks you out. So you try to drown these strange feelings by clinging into what you know. You know you like the "opposite" sex. This means you are straight!! You definitely are. Look at me, doing straight things, like a regular straight person!

It's kinda... A state of desperation, and denial is the engine. You became almost this parody of a straight person. A womanizer. A man-eater. 100% straight, look at me woo! It's about self-deception, and it's about bi erasure (not really even believing that bisexuality is a valid sexuality), and it's about fear of someone figuring you out.

And sometimes it's really just... About being oblivious, and lacking self-awareness. I mean... I am bi, just like Buck. Guess what clued me in? The unplanned flirting. Brainless, outrageous, oblivious flirting.

I am a woman and I did that with women. I had no idea I was flirting. I thought I was joking. Teasing. Bantering. Being friendly. Bonding. Being funny.

I am fairly outspoken and impulsive (now diagnosed with ADHD btw) so often I just leap before I think. So I just... interacted. And then one day, in the middle of a conversation with a female friend... I just got this really, really weird feeling. Like slowly waking up from sleep walking. Where am I, what am I doing? Why am I standing so close to her? Why does this feel so intense? And I just took in the moment, rewinded it, analyzed it, took notice of how oddly jittery I was. And went...

What the fuck. I am FLIRTING. I am totally flirting. I have been flirting! For a good while now! This is me, trying to provoke a very specific reaction! This is me, being excited because she's noticing me, and flirting back! (She was bi too btw, and out, so even though this never went anywhere, I am fairly sure that I wasn't wrong. We were both flirting.)

Anyway, this ramble was about Buck being a womanizer, and an oblivious flirt with men, and closeted, and not even realising the closet...

And it all making perfect sense!!! This happens! It happened to me! Some people don't realise their bisexuality until it practically smacks them in the face.

This is perfectly realistic story-telling. This is a valid portrayal of a closeted adult bisexual.

And Buck does flirt with men, on screen, since season fucking one!!! That emergency, in season one, the guy with the tape worm? That's him, being an oblivious outrageous flirt, starting to hit on a male patient mid emergency!!

Bobby actually has to cut it off because Buck is being super unprofessional there.

That was written, acted, filmed, aired. And as said, these characters are designed.

And that's not all. There are so many other instances of Buck flirting with a man, crushing on a man, being unable to shut up about men.

Go see Eddie's and Buck's meeting - the ridiculously homoerotic first introduction of Eddie. The way Buck absolutely must impress Eddie. The way he jumps to the idea that Eddie won the spot on the "hot firefighter calendar", the way he gets super flustered when Eddie compliments him and tells Buck he can have Eddie's back anyway.

The way he assumes Maddie is surely talking about Eddie instead of Chimney when she says "he's so cute". The way he is seen prattling about Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, and Maddie then asks about this "boy crush".

Go watch the entire storyline with Veronica/Albert/Buck/Taylor. It tells us very clearly that Buck sees Albert in a towel, and then can't stop rambling about him. This chronic inability to shut up about Albert is shown on several occasions.

Buck's date, Taylor, even walks out mid their double date due to that. Taylor takes in the clusterfuck she's been invited to, makes it very clear that she's heard A LOT about Albert as Buck keeps talking about ALBERT, and leaves.

Anyway - my point here is. The writing team wanted to write a closeted adult bisexual character, and figured... How do we make them realise that Buck really was bi all along?

Well, by showing him, being bi. Showing him in genuine relationships with women, and also showing him flirt with men. So that when he finally comes out, people have material to examine, and realise...

It was always there. He was always bi.

And they did because they wanted to bring awareness, to write a story of an adult closeted bisexual. The closeted part is important, btw. Because making him come out on screen is like simulating someone coming out to you in real life. They're making you ask;

Did you see the signs?

Or did you see signs... And dismiss them?

These stories are important because bisexual erasure is real. Many people don't even believe, or know that we exist!! And there is so much ignorance about what bisexuality is, what it can look like. "Oh, surely not a womanizer like Buck! Can't be. Ridiculous!"

But guess what? It isn't ridiculous. It isn't bad, or half-assed writing. You just don't understand the realities here.

Let me tell you some facts about bisexuality. I challenge you to verify them yourself, look up studies, and see that I'm not writing fiction now.

We bisexuals cling to our closets, desperately. Often well into adulthood. Btw, I'm closeted too actually, to my family. And yeah, I may sound like I'm 14. I am not.

And no, we aren't fine in our closets. We don't have it easy. We aren't doing well. We bisexuals are actually... Alarmingly, clearly, unwell.

And not just compared to straight people. No. We are pretty much, fairly clearly, either the top or near the top.. highest ranking mental cases among the queer community!! ... So. Yay?

Don't believe me? Look up studies about bisexuals. Though... There aren't that many, actually. Turns out, if you try looking up scientific research about bisexuals? Well, there isn't much. Compared to other groups of people, we are basically unstudied. Because hey, we're a bit meh. Why fund that research? Unimportant, those bisexuals! They're doing fine!

So... This is why I love this storyline, and Buck coming out. Because it's a high profile main character. And because they worked to get this right, to establish Buck's interest in women, as well as men.

You know, because that's what usually happens when a closeted character, or a real bisexual person comes out.

"Oh. He's gay now?"

Yeah. Bisexual erasure, it never stops winning. 🙄

Anyway, my post turned essay about letting the freak flag fly....?

That's how you support shows like these, writers like these, storylines like these.

By being an enthusiastic fan, and letting everyone know about it.

This is free PROMO for the show, our rambling, our freaking out.

Even if you personally have no legal means to watch the show, you can still support it by loving it. Talking about it. Letting your imagination fly. Indulging in your CRAZIEST fan theories!!!

And tagging it, reblogging it.

Please do that.

Don't listen to anyone trying to make you shut up,

Trying to get you to be rational,

Trying to organize a freaking "moment of silence" from shipping,

Trying to shame you and get you to "respect Buck's coming out arc" by focusing on it instead shipping characters....

Don't listen to anyone trying to make you hate a "problematic character".

"Problematic" characters are good writing!!!! Real people have flaws!

Guess what - trying to create and write perfect characters... If you do that? You end up looking at Teletubbies. Do you like Teletubbies? Do you?!!

Don't even listen to me if I try to argue for something because I "spot a problem' and want to whine about it.

No, ignore it, be confident, be a freak, let your freak flag fly!!

Because this is an important time in the history of the show, of queer media.

People are looking at how the show does after a queer twist like this one.

And they look at numbers.

At viewership. How many people the show lost.

How many it gained.

These numbers do not tell them which viewer ships whom.

Shipping is fucking irrelevant.

Shipping wars don't matter here!!

Because even if you ship Athena and a table lamp,

but post about it, it is still promo and viewership!!!!

How "sensitive" you are, and how overwhelmed the story arc made you...

does not matter here.

How disappointed you are that you did not get Buddie, yet, doesn't matter.

You being offended that people focus on some characters over others.... Does not matter.

It doesn't translate to the most important number, which is viewership.

And the best way to get decent viewership, and reward this incredible story arc, and love this show...

Is to let your freak flag fly!!!!!!!!!!

It's not to sit in silence because people are shaming you about continuing to freak out about your particular focus on the show.

That shame and "respect" just creates silence. That erases our voice. That mutes the fandom, the free promo, and tanks viewership.

Silence? That could kill this show, and OTHER shows that may consider doing something like this.

Going on mute now will only hinder incredible writers like these, wanting to create future shows and storylines like these.

You know... Because this scene about "let 'em fire us" underneath??

It is hilarious, yes. But it is also heart-breaking.

Because this is very likely META writing.

The writers, the show... scared, yet brave, wondering how the audience will react to Buck's coming out.

If this pays off. If they still have a job in the industry after this leap.

So see what a gift these writers are.

Reward it by making noise.

By being absolutely unhinged about it.

Really, fuck this moment of silence to "Buck's bi growth".... Ship whoever, NOW, - Ravi and Buck and Athena together, if it tickles your brain!!!

Be problematic. Be a freak. Let it show.

Let your freak flag fly. That's how you love the show.

[moonlightsapphic]

Yeah and so the movie was 75% finished before it was completely shut down. What a loss to the community, and I can't imagine how heartbreaking it must've been for Nate and all the people working on it. Nimona (2023), later picked up and adapted by Netflix, is a phoenix risen from the ashes and it had to fight to be here despite the book's (and She-ra's!) prior success.

Fuck Disney.

[skippsmandolin]

therapy isn't enough I need bisexual video essays and media analysis (please)

[locuas642]

People can ship whatever they want and genderbent whatever they want. like who cares.

But does anyone else ever see a piece of fan-art for a popular MLW shipping that just happens to be genderbent and is not even the first time you saw them genderbent like that.

but somehow that one piece in particular feels somehow... wrong?

[colourfulgreyscales]

On Characters' Sexualities; Representation and Phobias.  The Case of Queer Representation in Strange Way of Life (and other films)

I was hesitant to do this essay for a long time.

On one level, we live in a very polarized world and my essay is going to be diplomatic.  Unfortunately, in polarized times like this, this means that I am going to be perceived as siding with the opposite side of your position rather than analyzing the whole thing from a neutral angle.

It also has to do with a queer (and the first draft seems to present them as gay.  Let's see if that changes as the story evolves, which will be impacted by now seeing the movie and interpretations) fanfiction where I pair Silva with another cowboy I have interpreted as queer through the years (Slow West's Silas Selleck.  More on him later).

OK, As you probably saw from the second paragraph, you probably know where I am headed with this.  There was one recent Tumblr entry that was posted as I was starting to write that nailed the same thesis of here.  Like the author, I do think Almodovar left the specifics of Silva and Jake's queer sexualities purposefully ambiguous and open to interpretation.  He never defined Strange Way of Life as a gay Western but a queer Western, and I do think that it is equally valid interpreting Jake and Silva as either gay or bisexual.

That unless one believes people can only be straight or gay and sexuality is that clear cut.

(I may argue that Almodovar has left some ambiguity in the nature of the queerness of some characters all along his, with many of his characters left free to identify as bisexual.  This is nothing new for him)

I also get that the gay fans of Pedro want a representation with his character that they hadn't been able to have before.  My bisexual bias make me think of Oberyn as possible queer representation, but I am not a gay man.   So I get they finally getting Pedro to have a character that represents them.   And based on historical facts, it is true that many gay men did get married to women and have children, and some had affairs with women to repress their desire for people of the same gender.  In fact, this is an argument I have made for Slow West's Silas Selleck, a character I read as gay. (*SPOILER ALERT*) I have had counterargued that Silas is "straight" because it was implied that he married Rose at the end and adopted the Swedish Children.  I made an analysis of it being a convenience arrangement and possibly the adoption of Children making Silas not obligated to sleep with Rose.  A similar argument could be said about Silva (except with him having a son).

However...  My problem is that some of these gay people asking for gay representation, use biphobic language.  Let me get out of the way that I am not talking about people saying it is not biphobic to interpret Silva as gay (and just leave it at that).  I also get the not liking Silva with a female character if can't relate to that.  BUT saying that interpreting Silva as bisexual "cheapens" the queerness of his (and for that matter, Jake's) characters or "corrupts" their story, ignores bisexual men as queer people simply because bisexual men can also desire women.  It's as if the possibility of desire women taints them and negates their queerness.    As a bisexual woman, I have gone through that crap from Lesbians for years.

(There is also the issue of gay people not believing that bisexual men exist, but to be fair, I have not seen Silva's sexuality critiqued from this angle.  It would be also a case of bi erasure if it is).

GENERAL BI MEN REPRESENTATION

There is another fact.  This is not a matter of "homophobic heterosexual women against gay representation."  Let's face it, there is a lot less bisexual male representation than gay men representation in media.  Only now we have more with Alex Claremont-Diaz in Red White and Royal Blue and Nick Nelson in Heartstopper.  They are more unambiguous and the representation comes with more casual mentions of being bi (either by the characters or the narrative).  But even with these characters, I have seen tjings like "Nick Nelson was just an adolescent, too young to figure out his sexuality.  He has not shown interest in women during the story." 

As points of reference: We have Brokeback Mountain.  There is strong evidence (even stronger as SWOL) that both Ennis and Jack could very well be bisexual.  You could argue that in their time they were married to women because they should, but even in the movie (I haven't read the book) they look very much attracted to their wives and Ennis to the girlfriend he had after his wife.  Counterarguments have included Ennis preference for anal sex in the book (plenty of heterosexuals and bisexuals like anal) and the book written by a woman.  Call me by Your Name has this same dilemma of men showing attraction to women in the movie (again, I haven't had the chance to get the book).  Their relations with women are more on screen and there has been an argument that they were gay and just experimenting, particularly Elio.  And that's valid.  But I also wonder if referring to these characters as bi, gay people feel they are being "corrupted" and "straightwashed" and "cheapened."  I know some say that it's not valid because Call Me By Your Name was written by a straight(-identified?) man anyway.

In conclusion: the interpretation of Silva and Jake as any sexuality other than straight is pretty much valid.  That being said, it is also true that there are not as much bi male representation as gay representation, and there is no need to incur in biphobic language when you want to make the (again valid) point of seeing Silva as gay.  Having heteronormative attractions doesn't make a bisexual/pansexual man any less queer (especially when they have queer attractions as well) and similar arguments can be done for a plethora of characters showing multiple gender attractions, whether on-screen or casually mentioning them.

[thecommunalfoolboy]

Lol it’s so cringe how people ship any two characters that are close to each other it’s almost like they’re starving for any kind of positive queer representation and are used to having to dig deep into subtext and little clues left by queer creators who are forced into silence but hope the audience can piece together their true meaning and if you truly wanted shipping to stop it’s current intensity then you would give us the queer relationships we want to see rather than leaving us to desperately try and sew together the meager scraps we’re left with

Oh I mean cringe lol

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Greg Owen at LGBTQ Nation:

Georgia’s parliament on Thursday pushed ahead a sweeping package of bills that would effectively outlaw LGBTQ+ identity in the former Soviet republic. The set of bills proposed by the ruling pro-Putin Georgian Dream party bans depictions of same-sex relationships in the media, outlaws gender-affirming surgery, and will make Pride events and the public display of the Pride flag in Georgia a thing of the past.

Parliamentary speaker Shalva Papuashvili describes the bills as necessary to control “LGBT propaganda,” which he said was “altering traditional relations.” The first reading of the bill titled “On the Protection of Family Values ​​and Minors,” which draws heavily from Russia’s anti-LGBTQ+ “propaganda” law passed last year, drew widespread support among Georgia Parliament deputies. The bill is scheduled for second and third readings in the fall. In addition to outlawing public gatherings “promoting” same-sex relationships, the legislation would also limit adoption to heterosexuals, ban gender changes on official identification, and outlaw “LGBT propaganda” in education. Georgian Dream MPs have also proposed introducing “genetic” requirements in establishing legal marriage, whereby marriage would be a union of a “genetic woman” and a “genetic man.”

The Caucasus nation of Georgia is moving forward with its LGBTQ+ and transgender erasure bills.

[weirsight]

i understand that it can get quite exhausting when one's enjoying a piece of media and go online to look for any sort of engagement, only to find a vocal minority (or maybe even a sizeable majority) continuously criticizing it. no doubt, this would lead anybody to feel a bit frustrated and questioning the participation of others ... but i also think that's just a pretty universal aspect of any fandom. there is undeniably blatant disrespect hurled at the showrunners and writers of GOT/HOTD, and bad faith arguments over which team is right or wrong that feeds into a truly harrowing degree of tribalism. however, i do think that the media we partake in and the people who create it shouldn't be allowed to escape criticism, as they are in fact fallible and some of the choices they make should be questioned, especially when the project they are working on is an adaptation of someone else's work.

let's not forget the treatment of women, people of color, lgbtq individuals, the disabled, etc. under the leadership of benioff & weiss. there were plenty of critics who were rightfully taking them to task way before s7-8 of GOT for their "choices" that had less to do with adapting book material, and more to do with awards nominations. in their hubris, they turned grrm's work which is filled with critiques of war, monarchy, feudalistic society, and reduced it to shock value, oversexualization, and straight up character erasure. these changes went unchallenged for the longest time because the spectacle of a big-budget prestige fantasy show was relatively unheard of. now while i do agree with the sentiment of just letting people enjoy things and that criticism can easily lead to pedantic behavior, i also would like to posit that without critiquing media that we dislike and like, it diminishes the ability to identify the kind of storytelling that can be seen as worthwhile.

yes, fire & blood is a historical text rather than a present-tense narrative that features multiple pov. yes, the dance portion is told from 3 different unreliable narrators with their own agendas. yes, that means no one truly knows what happened, which allows a certain degree of expansion for the book-to-screen adaptation. canonicity can most assuredly be debated with the format of the source material. that all being said, when the choices that are made start to veer off the path set by the author and contradict if not ignore the prominent themes that make the story what it is, then the adaptation should absolutely be criticized.

[project-sekai-facts]

Asking this because I genuinely need an explanation, not as a counterargument.

I'm 100% aware of the queer erasure going on in JP → EN translations. The shameless hiding of LGBTQ+ subtext is ridiculous. However, some examples have been bothering me lately ("bothering" as in, I've been thinking about them a lot), these examples being the lack of usage of the word "love", especially in one of Minori's.

In one of Minori's dialogues, she states that she loves Haruka (originally using "daisuki", if I recall correctly). The expression "love" in this case gets translated to "have feelings for", which is considered to be erasure. That's what bugs me: why would it be queer erasure?

In my first language, Spanish, we have the expression "te quiero" (literally "I want you", though it has no possessive connotations and it's a more toned version of loving), and the stronger "te amo" ("I love you"). The latter is generally used romantically, though it can be used in other contexts (I tell my deepest and closest friends both "te quiero" and "te amo", for example). From my understanding, English doesn't have an equivalent to "te quiero", so "I love you" can apply in any context.

However, and again, to my understanding, "having feelings for someone" is only ever used romantically. Maybe it's weaker than loving someone in a sense, but still, you wouldn't say you have feelings for someone who you wish to have/maintain a platonic relationship with (correct me if I'm wrong).

So, to my understanding:

"daisuki" → [strong] loving someone, with vague connotations (generally interpreted as romantic)

"I love you" → [strong] certainly used romantically, yet it can be platonic or familial too

"I have feelings for you" → [weaker] used romantically.

Does that make sense or am I being ignorant?

Ah sorry if I confused you with that example from the MMJ main story. I don't think it's erasure because the EN translation keeps the pretty much the same meaning, I pointed it out because of EN's refusal to translate the words suki/daisuki as love in certain instances.

EN seems to be willing to translate suki/daisuki directly when it's being used to talk about things or aspects of a person, like in these instances:

However, when it's used directly about a person, the translators always find some way around it, like in these instances:

(An/Kohane are an exception and iirc siblings are too?)

(Also in the Asahi example he uses a conjugated form of horeru but it means pretty much the same thing)

Whilst most of these convey the original meaning to some degree and don't really count for erasure, it's still odd that EN will not let the characters say they love each other. It's not even like it has to be interpreted romantically. Like it's firmly established that Leo/need are childhood best friends from the start, I don't think a lot of readers are going to jump straight to romance if the girls said they love each other. It's like they're removing it as a "just in case" so that no one can view it as romantic at all.

Yeah, you're right that "having feelings for someone" is by far more commonly used in a romantic sense. Whilst some people irl probably use it platonically (most likely aspec ppl), in media you're really only going to hear it used romanitcally. It's not weaker than "I love you" imo, but it depends on who you ask because to other people it might be weaker/stronger.

[wordsmith30]

This is disgusting. This show has changed my life on a fundamental level. I’ve spent the last year grappling with my newfound queerness and all that it means, and only now am I pushing new barriers for myself.

I could never have imagined five years ago, or even as a child, that I would become a part of the LGBTQ+ community (that I have already been a part of this community). That through this show, I would find the courage to write wlw stories myself.

Warrior Nun looked deep into my soul and called out parts of me I didn’t even know I was struggling with. I saw a repressed, perfectionistic overachiever question her long-held beliefs, everything she’d been taught, and find the courage to be herself -- to break out of her shell and claim the love she deserved. 

I saw the most beautiful slow-burn romance full of love and respect where there was no intentional flirting or seduction, no male gaze, no pettiness or selfish gratification at the other’s expense. All they wanted was to keep each other safe. All they wanted was to be happy and to make each other happy.

This news is also really upsetting because it just goes to show all the hoops this production jumped through just to tell the story that they wanted to tell. How in 2023, streaming services are still actively trying to silence and erase queer stories. DURING PRIDE MONTH OF ALL THINGS!

That’s why the show was cancelled. That’s why we’re probably never going to see a season three. It wasn’t just that it was a queer, female-led story -- they deceived the entire studio, went behind their backs, and filmed the entire Avatrice storyline in secret. What legends!

But all of this, coupled with the writers’ strike, is just exposing every company as toxic and problematic. Art itself is under attack. Anything that doesn’t suit their agendas gets canned and to hell what the rest of us think. Netflix hates love.

warrior nun cast, writers, crew, EVERYONE, had to hide avatrice from netflix to make it happen in season two??? THIS??? WE ALMOST DIDN'T GET THEM CANON??

it's mind blowing to what lengths homophobic people in power would go to just to make sure we don't get representation in media.

[merlot-and-chardonnay]

A Little Announcement

Just a heads up for my followers and anyone who happens to read this post. So pride month is coming up soon, and as a bisexual who's only been on tumblr since the start of this year, I want to do little polls every so often this coming month to celebrate.

Polls that include favorite LGBTQ+ characters from various forms of media.

Gay characters, lesbians, bi/pan men, bi/pan women, trans characters (three separate polls for transwomen, transmen and non-binary characters) and Asexual/Aromantic/AroAce characters (I know the Ace community in particular is chronically underrepresented- often to the point of erasure unfortunately- so if there are any suggestions for Ace characters in media for that upcoming poll I'll gladly welcome it).

I would also do polls for favorite queer couples as well AND favorite LGBTQ+ Youtubers (because it turns out I watch a lot of them lol). And just for funsies I'll put up a poll for favorite characters that are headcannoned as LGBTQ+.

Happy Pride Month!

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Compulsory Heterosexuality

You might’ve heard the term “comphet” on socials lately. It’s the cute, shortened term for Compulsory Heterosexuality. What is Compulsory Heterosexuality? Adrienne Rich wrote about the concept in her essay “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence,” published in 1980. In the essay, Rich argued that heterosexuality is not natural, but instead an institution imposed on women to keep them subordinate and subservient to men in society. Comphet basically assumes that heterosexuality is the default sexual orientation of all people. Rich wrote this essay as a way of challenging the erasure of lesbianism from scholarly and feminist literature, and it’s now making a major resurgence in LGBTQ+ discourse (THANK YOU!).

More and more Queer people are realizing that comphet is actually hella applicable to their sexuality and situation. Many of us didn’t grow up with queer representation in the media, and only straight relationships were encouraged and promoted around us. Dolls were for girls, and toy trucks were for boys. “That’s just the way it is,” still echoes in our brains. Nothing was telling us that it was ok to be queer and nothing gave us permission to act on what we felt inside of us.

A narrative has been constructed in pop culture about bisexuality where it has been looked at as a joke, a “stop on the way to gay-town,” or simply a fake term used for people who can’t make up their minds. All of this also plays into the idea of comphet. Bisexual people are told that their attractions aren’t real, so many of us default to identifying as straight, then end up eventually (hopefully) coming to terms with our sexuality a bit later in life.

Bi-Imposter Syndrome

A lot of bisexuals face an internal battle because of our attraction to different genders. It’s like we have Imposter Syndrome, but the bi kind. This is when we doubt ourselves, doubt our attractions, and feel influenced by the messages we hear about bisexuality that are out in the world. When we hear negative messaging about bisexuality, it can really impact how we view ourselves! Even if it’s just a joke or an innocent stereotype (like cuffing our jeans). We can still feel like if we don’t do certain things, or act a certain way, that we aren’t actually bi.

Having a lack of representation can also make us doubt ourselves and lose trust in what our gut is saying. The media we consume, and the narratives within that content, can impact how we come to accept our sexuality — particularly when the bisexual identity is a joke or “not real.” It’s like being gaslighted by the media. We’re told that we’re just at the pitstop before we “become gay,” or we’re just “acting bi” to be shocking. Ugh.

Coming Out

Bisexuals don’t always come out. Sometimes it feels like we’re living a life shrouded in mystery. Bisexuals (particularly bisexual men) don’t come out to their family or partners because they fear they’ll be ostracized by their loved ones. If this sounds familiar to you, you’re not alone!

A lot of bisexuals in straight-passing relationships are hesitant to come out. (Hiiii!) There can be a sense that you’re not “bi-enough” that can harbour hesitation about coming out because you’ve never had a partner, or experience, with someone of your gender. Maybe you’ve been with your partner of the opposite gender for years and don’t want to come out to avoid questions or criticism. That’s totally fair! You do what’s best for YOU!

If you do decide to come out, there are so many ways that you can choose to do it. It can feel like a weight off of your shoulders, but it can also feel like you’re intruding into a space that’s not totally welcoming to your sexuality.

Biphobia

Biphobia is the belief that bisexuality is lesser than, or not-as-real as, other sexualities. People can view bisexuality as unnatural, a choice, and something to be ashamed of or looked down upon. It’s often not taken as seriously as other sexuality-based phobias, but biphobia can be just as impactful as homophobia, transphobia, or any other form of discrimination against someone in the LGBTQ+ community.

Studies have shown that bisexual people don’t come out to the people in their lives as much as lesbian and gay people do. We can hold a lot of confusion about our identity and sexuality, and there can be a lot of negative messaging around bisexuality that leads to the development of mental health struggles like anxiety, depression, and more.

Internalized Biphobia

Ok, so we talked about feeling bi-imposter syndrome. But now we’re going to talk about something that many of us don’t want to confront — internalized bi-phobia. Yes, you can be biased and phobic against yourself…and it feels awful. Like we said, as bisexuals we tend to question our sexuality more than our queer counterparts.

This is particularly prevalent in men. Men don’t have a lot of bi-representation, so many are left battling their sexuality from a perspective of legitimacy and acceptance. Are they bi? Are they gay? It seems to be more culturally acceptable for women to be bisexual, so men are sometimes left wondering if it’s even possible for them to be bi. We’re here to tell you — it is absolutely possible! It’s also possible for a trans person who defies the gender binary to be bisexual. It’s all about connecting with a label that feels right for you!

Often as bisexual people are discovering their sexuality, there’s a growing confusion about the emotions and attractions they feel. This can lead to self-esteem issues, self-hatred and other mental health issues. And these issues aren’t helped when the messaging from your family and friends isn’t supportive and loving.

From Friends and Family

Many bisexual people choose to keep their sexuality under wraps and never reallyyyy come out. You might tell some trusted people in your life, but many bisexuals aren’t known for making an announcement or a coming-out post on the ‘gram. This is because we don’t feel like facing any criticism, scepticism, or backlash from our closest friends and family.

Family and friends often overlook the attraction to people of the same gender and see bisexuality as a curiosity or a choice. Some people experience their family and friends avoiding the topic of their sexuality, or asking about relationships only with people of the opposite gender.

We just wish that our parents would support us and that our friends would accept us with no questions asked. When that doesn’t happen, it stings, it hurts — and holy crap does it suuuuck! But we see you and we’ll always be here for you! No coming out post needed!

In the LGBTQ Community

Bisexual people search for a welcome space in the queer community but are sometimes met with hostility. Bisexual men are assumed to not be ready to claim the title of being gay, and bi women are looked at as “just experimenting.” But both men and women are shamed for being in straight-passing relationships. Even though we’re part of the acronym, many bi people still feel like they’re the invisible “B” in the LGBTQ+ community.

A study in 2016 found that biphobia persists in all communities. Research has found that bisexual people are marginalized by both heterosexual people and those in the LGBTQ+ community. Oof! Some Queer people see a bi-person in a straight-passing relationship as less queer, and less legitimate, than if they were in a relationship with someone of the same sex.

The Need for BiCons (Bi-Icons) in Pop Culture

There are many stereotypes about bisexual people that are perpetuated by society. We can be seen as sexually promiscuous, rebels against lesbian and gay communities, and attention-seeking dramatics. And bisexuals are often criticized (and then fetishized) by straight men who see bisexual women as an opportunity for a threesome — as though a woman’s bisexuality is actually a way to play into the male gaze.

Bisexual men are judged by society because they are seen as only just beginning their journey to homosexuality. The male bi-identity is so overlooked, forgotten and looked down upon because of the toxic masculinity that is so prevalent in all aspects of our culture. Unfortunately, so many prominent male bisexuals have been categorized as gay — like Freddie Mercury. So, bisexual men don’t have many role models in pop culture to look up to for encouragement and direction.

The internal struggle of bisexual people could be made so much easierrrrr if pop culture and media would portray bisexuality in positive and complex ways.

Bisexuality Affirmation

If you’re struggling to accept your bisexuality, you’re not alone. Like we said, so many bisexual people struggle to accept their sexuality because of confusion, cultural messaging, internalized biphobia, and biphobia from other communities.

Accepting Your Bisexuality

If you’re still questioning then think about this…straight people don’t spend all of their time wondering if they’re straight. They don’t worry about how their relationships are perceived. So if you’re worrying about if you’re bi enough, let us be the first to tell you that YOU ARE. You’re 100% bi-enough. 100% queer enough. And you’re worthy of accepting yourself regardless of your dating history, or what anyone else might tell you.

You are worthy of owning the bisexual label if that’s what feels right to you. Bisexuality doesn’t have to mean that you’re only attracted to two genders either. You can be bi and still attracted to everyone within, and beyond, the gender spectrum. And, bisexuality is not limited to just men or women…you can be agender, non-binary, gender non-conforming, gender fluid, or any other gender expression! If the label of bisexual feels right, then that’s what matters most of all.

It can be hard to start owning and accepting your bisexuality. Saying it out loud for the first time can be a bit scary! (And if saying it out loud 10 more times is still a little scary, that’s ok too.) So take it slow at first. Only do what’s comfortable for you at this point in time.

Connecting With Others

If you want to go a step further, reach out and talk to other people in the queer community that might be open to acting as a guide as you start down the path of acceptance. And follow other bisexual people on social media! The more bisexuals you follow, the more you’ll realize that our stories are all very similar in nature. Reading their stories and seeing their journeys can help you come to accept your own.

If you want to start connecting with other queer people, check out Taimi! Taimi is the world’s largest online LGBTQ+ platform (with over 10 million users — and millions identifying as bisexual+ spectrum), featuring a social network, dating app and streaming all wrapped in one! It’s a safe and secure space to look for long-term romance, make friends, network, or just talk to someone for fun! The best part is that they’re open to everyone regardless of where they identify on the gender and sexuality spectrum. Plus, they post blog articles like this Drag Race review, this list of binge-worthy LGBTQ+ TV shows and this Dark Side of Valentine’s Day post. Taimi’s goal is to create an LGBTQ+ community where diversity, inclusion and love are the core values. Honestly, who wouldn’t want to be part of that?!

Learning More

There are also a number of books that you can begin reading to help you learn more about bisexuality and what it might look like for you! Here are some of our favourites:

– Bi America: Myths, Truths, And Struggles Of An Invisible Community by William Burleson

– The Bisexual’s Guide to the Universe: Quips, Tips, And Lists for Those Who Go Both Ways by Nicole Kristal and Mike Szymanski

– Bi Lives: Bisexual Women Tell Their Stories by Kata Orndorff

– Bi Men Coming Out Every Which Way edited by Pete Chvnay and Ron Jackson Suresha

– Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out by Loraine Hutchins and Lani Kaahumanu

Representation

Bisexual representation is becoming more and more prevalent. Apps like TikTok have bisexual content that’s basically guaranteed to land on the fyp of a questioning bi. For years, the media and entertainment industry has gotten the portrayal of bisexual people reallyyyy wrong. But it seems to be changing for the better!

It’s important to see ourselves in the characters we see on TV, read about in novels, and hear about in songs. It reminds us (and everyone else) that we’re normal! We exist! It gives us hope and encouragement that one day, we won’t have to defend our sexuality to anyone and that we can work towards acceptance.

We hope that this article was helpful! We know how difficult it can be to fully accept and love your bi-identity.

Your sexuality is valid.

You are worthy.

You’re deserving of love.

[sweethoneyrose83]

Bisexual Ask Game:

Identity & Self-Reflection

When did you first realize you were bisexual?

Have you ever felt more attracted to one gender at different times in your life?

What stereotypes about bisexuality annoy you the most?

What do you love most about being bisexual?

Have you ever felt pressured to choose between being gay or straight?

How do you define your bisexuality in your own words?

Have you come out to everyone in your life? If not, who would be the hardest to tell?

What’s a common misconception people have when you tell them you're bisexual?

How do you feel about the term “bi-erasure”?

Do you find it easier or harder to date as a bisexual person?

Relationships & Dating

Have you ever dated someone who didn’t understand your bisexuality?

Do you feel a stronger emotional connection with one gender over the other?

What’s your ideal date, regardless of gender?

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like you had to hide your sexuality in a relationship?

Have you ever been in a polyamorous or open relationship? What was your experience like?

Do you feel like dating apps do a good job of representing bisexual people?

Do you think bisexual people are often fetishized? How does that make you feel?

Have you ever had a partner who was insecure about your bisexuality?

Do you prefer dating people who identify as LGBTQ+ as well, or does it not matter?

What’s a dealbreaker for you in a relationship, regardless of gender?

Attractions & Preferences

Do you find you have different “types” for different genders?

Who was your first celebrity crush (of any gender)?

Do you notice your attraction to men and women in different ways?

What traits do you find most attractive in people regardless of their gender?

Do you find yourself attracted to non-binary or genderqueer people?

Do you ever feel like your bisexuality influences your sense of style or self-expression?

If you could date any fictional character, who would it be (and why)?

Have you ever had a crush on a friend, and did they know?

Do you tend to fall for people quickly or take your time?

What’s the first thing you notice about someone you’re attracted to?

LGBTQ+ Community & Society

What’s been your best experience with LGBTQ+ spaces or events?

Have you ever faced discrimination within the LGBTQ+ community for being bisexual?

Do you feel represented in LGBTQ+ media? If not, what would you like to see more of?

What advice would you give to someone who is questioning their bisexuality?

Do you think society is getting better at understanding bisexuality?

What’s your favorite LGBTQ+ show, book, or movie?

Do you feel a strong connection to the LGBTQ+ community, or do you feel like an outsider sometimes?

How has your experience of being bisexual changed over the years?

Have you ever felt pressure to fit into traditional gender norms because of your sexuality?

What’s one thing you wish everyone understood about bisexuality?

Fun & Silly Questions

If you had to choose a theme song for your bisexual journey, what would it be?

Do you have a “gay panic” celebrity crush moment? Who was it?

Would you rather attend Pride in a big city or a small town? Why?

Which bisexual icon do you relate to the most?

If you could switch places with a famous bisexual for a day, who would it be?

What’s the most random thing that’s made you realize you’re bisexual?

If you had to describe your bisexuality in three words, what would they be?

What’s the funniest or weirdest question someone’s ever asked about your bisexuality?

What’s your go-to bisexual anthem?

If you could create an emoji to represent bisexuality, what would it look like?

[amberofember]

controversial opinions: lgbtq edition

you cannot be friends with extremely homophobic/transphobic people and then call yourself an ally. you’re lucky that you have the privilege to not be affected by their comments/beliefs but your queer friends sure as hell don’t.

we need to better acknowledge how much queer culture (slang terms, fashion, etc…) is appropriated from black culture.

on that note, i am not a person of color, so please please correct me if i’m getting anything wrong, but the media representation of the queer experience is so white and western-centric. every race and culture has queer people, and we need to represent that. the experience of being queer is extremely different across all cultures.

religion is the actually dumbest excuse for queerphobia. just because you interpret your religion to say something doesn’t mean you have to push it on others. you don’t want to live that way, fine, but you have no business telling others how to interpret/follow your own personal beliefs, and neither do you have the right to openly hate people who do.

the erasure of asexual people in the queer community is actually insane.

people (usually specifically straight white women) who use the “gay best friend” stereotype as an excuse to treat gay people as an accessory instead of real people are disgusting

this is already talked about a lot, but the wlw vs mlm representation in media is so incredibly disproportionate.

saying this as a queer woman, queer women shouldn’t be allowed to sexualize women the way men do on the basis that “we’re not men so it’s ok”. it’s not.

cis white gay men are some of the most privileged people in the entire queer community and yet some seem to think they can speak for the experiences of every queer person ever.

queer people who don’t support trans people are so confusing to me. it’s obviously nowhere near the same experience but you know how it feels to be oppressed because of something you can’t control and often feel like you have to hide.

coming back to my first point, jokes at the expense of lgbtq people are never funny. again, you have the privilege to laugh at it but many don’t