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#let alone say it out loud?
thegetdownrebooter · 2 years
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i forgot that Tim Burton with his entire chest and no shame said that black people didn't fit his "aesthetic"...... wtf
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worstloki · 2 years
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Thor when he finds out Loki is Jotun
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faaun · 6 months
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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lunaetis · 3 months
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@apocryphis asked :
do you feel anything when you look at me? (oho some pain from wriothesley to arle)
I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU. || accepting
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─「アルレッキーノ」─  if anyone asked, if anyone questioned, if anyone ever felt the need to get suspicious about the constant visit the KNAVE spent underneath the water of fontaine and upon the ground outside the ruling of THE IUDEX and within the grasp of the hound, then the answer was it's business. that was all it was, that was all it could be, all it should be. a simple business visit, a negotiation offered by the FOURTH HARBINGER to the duke.
                then why was it that their eyes could never leave one another whenever they happened to be in the same room ? whether it was within his office that she had found her way inside more times than he could count, or the rarer times they caught each other upon the street of fontaine and barely a glance was exchanged. never words. never acknowledgement. never more than a split second attention.
                they weren't supposed to meet, they weren't supposed to get close, they weren't supposed to feel anything.
                then why was it that her GAZE remained locked to his now that they were behind closed doors ? why was it that she found herself towering over the man upon his desk when the conversation could've been conducted with respectable distance between them. why was it that her clawed digits remained on his face, grasping the shape of his jaw and traced them oh-so-carefully when she should've driven them right through his chest ?
                it was QUIET, her mind. her very consciousness that was always humming, always noisy, always so loud from whispers of the days long gone. countless whispers haunting her every waking moment and even in her sleep. THE CURSE, THE ENTITY wrapping its claws around her throat, preventing her from achieving even something as human as death. it was a proof that THE KNAVE was no longer mortal. she was no longer HUMAN. those eyes bearing the power and curse of immortality, the hands and body that was possessed and morphed beyond limit, and the voice ...
                the voice in her head refusing to let her rest ...
                how it went silent the moment their eyes locked. so quiet. so peaceful. only when these eyes met hers.
                did she still have a HEART, she wondered ? or had it been lost the moment the curse took shape and the entity took over. maybe it was lost the moment she cut all of them free of MOTHER, when the warmth of blood soak her hands and fingers, tainting them crimson and marked her as the successor. father ... mother no more. human no more. duties. responsibilities. titles. she was to live in place of those who died. live. live. live. live until no one was left.
                do you feel anything when you look at me ?
                this feeling within her hollowed chest, this TIGHTNESS forming a knot in the deepest part of her, the fire ( or was it warmth ? ) burning whenever they danced on the battlefield, when her weapon clashed with his, when his hands caged her against the wall, when hers held his own. when silvery blue contrasted with crimson crosses.
                the entity was still. wordless. silent.
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                " how could a monster be capable of feeling anything, dear warden ? "
                how could i ever loved like human if i'm not one ? it can't be love if i don't know what it is or how it's supposed to be. it can't be love if i don't have a heart to feel it. it can't be love. it cannot be.
                and she pulled him in, diminishing the gap between their lips with a kiss.
                whatever this is, it's yours. only yours.
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inusmasha · 1 year
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Also side note if you come here (or anywhere tbh) and try to take a pic of someone else’s baby without consent best believe that I will be there to rip your stupid face off and eat it
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saotoru · 10 months
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my coworker today told me she loves leon kennedy
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aftermathing · 3 months
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#Howwwww is it 5am already I want to go home#I begged my parents and sibling to let me go home to my own bed and they wouldn't let me#I don't want to be the solution to our family problems I want to go be alone and not here#I understand me being around more would make our parents nicer and give my siblings someome sane to talk to#But I want to die and I don't want to be here and I don't care about any of these people#Once again them forcing me to go to their house made me miss an assignment. So that class is genuinely failed now.#It makes me so frustrated I could cry. Every time I say I'm doing school work#Or say I can't drop everything and drive forty minutes to their house. they laugh at me#They genuinely laugh and say I'm such a liar and I'm faking and there's no way I ever do any school work#I'm actually shaking I'm so frustrated they don't understand. That's how long it takes me.#Why can't they just realize I'm a dumbass fucking idiot. I'm so fucking stupid#I'm literally so stupid. Intellectually I'm a fucking idiot and I am so useless and slow.#Stop trying to believe I have potential to fucking waste#The fact is there is no potential but I'm fucking wasting anyway#I'm so. Dumb. When I say I'm doing school work I mean I looked at the tab and got nervous about how overdue#everything is and how I'm failing and everyone wants me to leave my safety for their own inane bullshit#I wouldn't be failing this class at all if I had been able to complete the first week on time#instead of like. sitting outside a convention center alone and in agony for Five (5) hours.#Kudos to the devil for creating the exact perfect circumstances to kill me in particular#I should reach out and go to a friend's house and it would be good for me. But.#There's no way I'm going to see or speak to anyone in this state of everything#Everyone else around me seems to have improved in mental health I'm not going to ruin that by making them let me come over#No one really believes any of the problems I have like even I don't. how are you that stupid. just stop having these problems.#I can't go to a friend's house when I have problems like this. Last time I had a breakdown and scared the fucking host and#their partner had to be the one to comfort me because I was crying too loud for autistic ears :(#I can't do that to anyone again#I'm not kidding when I say I'm a huge burden genuinely I exist to be upsetting and inconvenient and frustrating#I am literally the most selfish person to ever have existed. Just objectively. I don't care about anyone or anything at all.#I don't love my friends or my family and I don't care about what they want or need. truthfully.#I just want to sit in my tiny room where nothing changes and no one expects me to drive anywhere holy fucking shit it's 6am
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beautifel · 1 year
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i. hate that i cant ignore any longer how fucked up i am
#ask 2 tag idk what to tag this but its negative. idk if i’m hormonal or whatever. it’s just that i’m so extremely emotional lately#like i always havebeen but it’s insane lately and i know some of the reasons but i have no idea what to do abt it. which is bad#i wish i knew how to confront …it all. im so avoidant it is genuinely pathetic#and even if i wanted to confront anything iwouldnt know how… n how to tell ppl around me#the pains ive taken to ignore my issues over the yrs n by that i mean suppress the knowledge that they even exist Lmao it is so pathetic#let alone the pains ive taken to hide from other ppl that which im suppressing. and to hide how badly i cope with anything#like any problem at all not just things that have anything to do with The Thing#i finally told my girlfriend about something i never thought id ever say out loud to anyone n it was so hard#the whole convo was so hard bc shes dealing with so much too and shes been getting help for 3 yrs n i know#with her baggage of trauma a relationship is one of the hardest things#n ive never ever regretted our relationship but with the things we are both dealing wtih. or rather not dealing with in my case#it is so . hard.. and i feel like ive been so unfair bc i havent been getting help even tho i need it. and she has.#the sheer irony of me refusing to get help or even admit 2 myself i need it even tho im literally about to be the person who helps others#this cannot go on lmao. the only thing im sure about is that i wanna spend my life with her but with everything tht we have on our plate#its so.. unsure i feel so powerless . i cannot change the past i cant change either of our previous experiences#its so unfair how we risk losing the best thing that ever happened bc of things out of our control#ive genuinely never been more scared of anything than i am of the idea of losing this relationship#we had such a deep conversation today and it was necessary and good but god we’re fucked up people#so i .contacted the uni psych today finally but im so fucking scared and idk what to even say when i get there#ive never until today said it out loud ive never even written it down anywhere
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sk3l3t0n444 · 4 months
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i have so many things i want to say but not the words and even if i did i dont have the balls to say it but even if i did it would end in heartbreak
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if yaz hadnt said anything and just let her walk away at the end of 11x1, how long do you think it would have taken 13 to find a new outfit?
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ofbeetlesandbees · 9 months
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I should go to bed... I am having the Mental Illness and it is making me feel like everyone tolerates me at best and I have brought nothing of value to anyone's life Ever.
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seethinglikeme · 2 years
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seeing ppl say that dabi’s an emotionless sociopath just bc he says he is is actually annoying af to me 😭 like r u rlly gonna say the guy who thought so hard abt the families of the ppl he’s killed he went crazy, went berserk when twice died, and literally burned himself to death BC he was so emotional that his father didn’t come to see his quirk’s development is unemotional just bc he says he is? cmon babes be for fucking real 😭
#and bc ik there r counterarguments to the examples i listed:#1) he said that out loud to himself while wiping blood away from his eye scar which is used to symbolise his tears since he cant cry#so no it’s not him lying or faking it or acting. it’s dabi thinking out loud and expressing his feelings#in a scene btw that wasn’t necessary to that arc’s plot or anything - horikoshi decided to put it in for a different reason then#(perhaps to show the audience that just bc dabi says he’s emotionless doesn’t actually mean he is. but what do i know)#2) yeah he said he’s upset abt twice’s death bc it affects him negatively. but that doesn’t make sense#why high-five him then? that wasn’t necessary - u can argue it boosts twice’s morale but to do what? escape from hawks & help the plf?#twice has plenty of motivation to do that - he already was! so why else? throwing a dog a bone? dabi’s not the type to do that and even if#he was that implies some sort of pity or fondness which also disproves the emotionless thing#not only that but his reaction when twice died was not a ‘fuck i just lost a useful tool for my plan’#that was someone in the anger stage of grief and going mad w it#also we legit saw dabi’s touya reveal & it was obv not a plan he’d adjusted or created in the time btwn twice’s death and that moment#same 4 the video#and i mean we see dabi fight endeavor & shouto and he does all that alone - none of the plf help#if he doesn’t let the rest of the league help him then why woild twice have been the exception? and actually why would the guy who#told deku to stay out of the todoroki family’s business and didnt tell the league his identity til he revealed it to everyone want someone#else’s help??#it doesn’t make sense - more likely that dabi was mourning a friend/ally and emotional enough and he came up w a shitty excuse bc of it#3) i mean it’s basically canon that he lost control of his flames BC he was so emotional#and there r plenty more examples i just chose those 3 bc they’re bigger ones#but burning down toga’s family home burning down the orphanage returning to the todoroki family home in the first place etc#trying to inflict as painful a death as he could on hawks etc#all displays of emotion and shit#and tbh i could prbly argue that his constant reiteration that he’s a sociopath who doesn’t feel anything is all bluster and bullshit to#make himself be thought of as worse than he is bc itd hurt enji’s rep even more#i have more to say but u get the picture#if i see one more piece of dabi hate calling him emotionless and sociopathic im going to start biting#todoroki touya#dabi#me
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discoidal · 11 months
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the ophelias + sonder bombs tour i . am not there
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alhavaradawnstar · 1 year
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looks at an elf "what if they were a 60 year old mechanic with a smoking problem"
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cerealmonster15 · 1 year
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I’m watching a vid on how people run twitch streams bc A. I am curious about The Magic and B. I love deluding myself
#i think it could THEORETICALLY be fun. on a VERY SMALL SCALE. maybe.#SMALL AND CASUAL like nothing fancy even. NO magic just goin in like#play game and talk#NO FACE NO CLOUT NOTHING ELSE!!!!#i do like to talk a lot when I play games lol even when I’m alone I have an overflow of THINGS TO SAY AND FEEL#idk it could be fun to try but knowing me I’d try ONCE and then NEVER AGAIN#bc the fact is I still have social anxiety LOL I#think I’d get embarrassed and nervous and remember that#i am in fact kind of annoying in real-time and out loud lol ALAS#i tried like once to do a let’s play thing in high school of just the sims#but I didn’t go far and deleted it bc it was embarrassing#but having no records maybe … live in the moment then gone…#i do have my twst sims I haven’t played in a while that I could fuck around with l o l#or my many harvest moon emulations I have saved and never use#something simple and easy#except. i am still me. and I am still scared. so probs not LOL#probably a private discord server screenshare is more my speed the way I’m thinking about it#but that also feels like a different type of pressure. also I don’t have a discord server lol#i am in some tho. i could go into one with old grad school friends lol they do screen share games#but I’m too shy to do that there#sometimes talking to strangers on the internet is the less scary thing to do#anyway. i probably won’t do any of this but I can pretend 😌#tbh I have nothing 2 be afraid of bc if I did try id probs just be a solo person in there anyway lmao no one fear of no one’s watchin🥳
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fukozawa · 2 years
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What kinda person leaves a bunch of thick bubble wrap in front of an autistic persons door for them to step on in the middle of the night on their way to the bathroom
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