@apocryphis asked :
do you feel anything when you look at me?
(oho some pain from wriothesley to arle)
I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU. || accepting
─「アルレッキーノ」─ if anyone asked, if anyone questioned, if anyone ever felt the need to get suspicious about the constant visit the KNAVE spent underneath the water of fontaine and upon the ground outside the ruling of THE IUDEX and within the grasp of the hound, then the answer was it's business. that was all it was, that was all it could be, all it should be. a simple business visit, a negotiation offered by the FOURTH HARBINGER to the duke.
then why was it that their eyes could never leave one another whenever they happened to be in the same room ? whether it was within his office that she had found her way inside more times than he could count, or the rarer times they caught each other upon the street of fontaine and barely a glance was exchanged. never words. never acknowledgement. never more than a split second attention.
they weren't supposed to meet, they weren't supposed to get close, they weren't supposed to feel anything.
then why was it that her GAZE remained locked to his now that they were behind closed doors ? why was it that she found herself towering over the man upon his desk when the conversation could've been conducted with respectable distance between them. why was it that her clawed digits remained on his face, grasping the shape of his jaw and traced them oh-so-carefully when she should've driven them right through his chest ?
it was QUIET, her mind. her very consciousness that was always humming, always noisy, always so loud from whispers of the days long gone. countless whispers haunting her every waking moment and even in her sleep. THE CURSE, THE ENTITY wrapping its claws around her throat, preventing her from achieving even something as human as death. it was a proof that THE KNAVE was no longer mortal. she was no longer HUMAN. those eyes bearing the power and curse of immortality, the hands and body that was possessed and morphed beyond limit, and the voice ...
the voice in her head refusing to let her rest ...
how it went silent the moment their eyes locked. so quiet. so peaceful. only when these eyes met hers.
did she still have a HEART, she wondered ? or had it been lost the moment the curse took shape and the entity took over. maybe it was lost the moment she cut all of them free of MOTHER, when the warmth of blood soak her hands and fingers, tainting them crimson and marked her as the successor. father ... mother no more. human no more. duties. responsibilities. titles. she was to live in place of those who died. live. live. live. live until no one was left.
do you feel anything when you look at me ?
this feeling within her hollowed chest, this TIGHTNESS forming a knot in the deepest part of her, the fire ( or was it warmth ? ) burning whenever they danced on the battlefield, when her weapon clashed with his, when his hands caged her against the wall, when hers held his own. when silvery blue contrasted with crimson crosses.
the entity was still. wordless. silent.
" how could a monster be capable of feeling anything, dear warden ? "
how could i ever loved like human if i'm not one ? it can't be love if i don't know what it is or how it's supposed to be. it can't be love if i don't have a heart to feel it. it can't be love. it cannot be.
and she pulled him in, diminishing the gap between their lips with a kiss.
whatever this is, it's yours. only yours.
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