#i am in fact kind of annoying in real-time and out loud lol ALAS
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cerealmonster15 · 2 years ago
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I’m watching a vid on how people run twitch streams bc A. I am curious about The Magic and B. I love deluding myself
#i think it could THEORETICALLY be fun. on a VERY SMALL SCALE. maybe.#SMALL AND CASUAL like nothing fancy even. NO magic just goin in like#play game and talk#NO FACE NO CLOUT NOTHING ELSE!!!!#i do like to talk a lot when I play games lol even when I’m alone I have an overflow of THINGS TO SAY AND FEEL#idk it could be fun to try but knowing me I’d try ONCE and then NEVER AGAIN#bc the fact is I still have social anxiety LOL I#think I’d get embarrassed and nervous and remember that#i am in fact kind of annoying in real-time and out loud lol ALAS#i tried like once to do a let’s play thing in high school of just the sims#but I didn’t go far and deleted it bc it was embarrassing#but having no records maybe … live in the moment then gone…#i do have my twst sims I haven’t played in a while that I could fuck around with l o l#or my many harvest moon emulations I have saved and never use#something simple and easy#except. i am still me. and I am still scared. so probs not LOL#probably a private discord server screenshare is more my speed the way I’m thinking about it#but that also feels like a different type of pressure. also I don’t have a discord server lol#i am in some tho. i could go into one with old grad school friends lol they do screen share games#but I’m too shy to do that there#sometimes talking to strangers on the internet is the less scary thing to do#anyway. i probably won’t do any of this but I can pretend 😌#tbh I have nothing 2 be afraid of bc if I did try id probs just be a solo person in there anyway lmao no one fear of no one’s watchin🥳
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killerqueenjoy · 6 years ago
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99 Question Tag
okay okay I know i got tagged to do this like a month ago on my main blog by @santonicababy iM SORRY LIN ILY BUT THIS WAS SO DAMN LONG
1) DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED
I sleep in the room where everybodies closets are and they all gotta be closed goddamn do you know how spooky it is to even have one open during the night
2) DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS
my parents do, but alas I don't use them in case they have silicones or sulphates in them because I got a whole lotta curls to protect
3)DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?
if this refers to the sheet protecting the mattress, then my answer is in because how the fuck would you be able to sleep with that moving around???
4) HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE
NO SORRY IM BORING
5)DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST IT NOTES
heck yeah, but for random shit
6) DO YOU EVER CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM
nee my parents are fancy fuckers who use the coupons on their phone (our local supermarket has a damn app skskksksk)
7) WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES
a bear because its one giant son of a bitch and not millions of tiny motherfuckers and also I've never been stung by a bee and intend to keep it that way because majority of my family seem to be allergic
8) DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES
nope! I have a couple beauty spots on my hands and face but thats kinda it
9) DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES
not really but if I've been told to smile then its 200% dead inside
10) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE
i find many things annoying
11)DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK
only when i go up and down stairs, but i also try to make sure i step with each foot equally (if that makes sense) and i step on only certain colour tiles when im bored
12) HAVE YOU EVER PEED IN THE WOODS
the real question is have i ever been in the woods? both answers are no
13) HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS
refer to question 12
14)ummmm idk what this question is meant to be curse you Lin
15)DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS
nope, the idea weirds me out
16) HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK
none, this week and in general
17) WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED
one person and a long yet smol doggo size
18) WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK
Eddie from the Rocky Horror Picture Show has been stuck in my head for the whole week so yeah i guess that
19)IS IT OKAY FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK
HeLL YEAH DUDE HAVE YOU SEEN RAMI MALEK IN PINK
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SKSKSKSKS END MY LIFE
but yeah, anyone can wear anything they want to wear (although a suit made out of meat might not be wise)
20) DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS
dudeeeee scooby doo and tom and jerry are my jam I watch them on the regular (among other things)
21)WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE MOVIE
uhhm idkkkkk I tend to repress bad movies sksksk
22)WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME
idk shove it in the closet ig at least it will be hidden behind my sexuality
23)WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER
I usually only drink before or after but ig water??? cooldrink if I'm in a restaurant
24)WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN
depends on the nug
25)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD
How dare you assume i only have one favourite
tbh it depends cos i love pizza and pasta and stuff but then i cannot live with my granny's curries ksksmks
26) WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE
borhap, sing street, rhps, the natm movies, the harry potter movies, any mcu movies
27)LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU
ahhahahahahahha bold of you to assume anyone wants to do that
28) WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT
nope but I was a catrobat which is basically my preschools acrobatics team that was actually really terrible
29)WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE
nahh m8
30) WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER
this week for a transactional task at school (It was in Afrikaans and I got a C skskskks)
31)CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL IN A CAR
omg no
32)EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET
not old enough to drive!
33)EVER RAN OUT OF GAS
my parents never have for as long as i can remember
34)WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE KINDA SANDWHICH
cheese because I am actually John Deacon
35)BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST
MUFFINS!!!!
36)WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME
school nights its 11pm otherwise i dont have one lol
37)ARE YOU LAZY
YES BUT MY LAZINESS MAKES ME ANXIOUS OOF
38)WHEN YOU WERE A KID WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN
we dont celebrate that here but i rly want to it seems fun!
39)WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN
Ram, which is really cool because im an Aries, so I'm sheep squared
40)HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK
English, Afrikaans (at a basic highschool level), I could speak very vERY basic isiZulu when I was younger but I'm not sure about now, I know a bit of French and Telugu, and I'm gonna start learning Hindi soon!!
41) DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS
nee
42) WHICH ARE BETTER, LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS
i didn't play much with legos and i have no idea what the second one is rip
43)ARE YOU STUBBORN
to an extent
44)WHO IS BETTER, LENO OR LETTERMAN
I kept reading Leno as Lenin ffs
45)EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS
I watch them occasionally with my granny, but I don't keep up with them very well (Kasamh Se is my shit tho)
46)ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS
no, im afraid of falling in general tho
47) DO YOU SING IN THE CAR
My dad and I bop frequently to Never Gonna Give You Up in the car, and also classic bollywood songs (we have even learnt the choreography for some)
48)DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER
i perform
49) DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR
well theres not exactly much space
50)EVER USED A GUN
nope
51)LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER
not sure
52)DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY
most are but thats why i like them
53) IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL
we don't celebrate because we're not Christian (we still eat a lot and exchange presents tho), but it can get stressful if we have to visit extended family, mostly because my extended family loves to insult everything about me so thats great!
54)EVER EAT A PIEROGI
not i good sir
55) FAVOURITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE
never had one, it doesnt appeal to me
56) OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID
a vet
57)DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS
i am a ghost
58)EVER HAD A DEJA-VU FEELING
not that i remember
59)DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY
yes, I take a multi vitamin, a vitamin D pill because I'm vitamin D deficient, and im not sure if this is a vitamin or not but i take evening primrose oil so that im not outwardly a bitch due to pms
60)DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS
i wear slipper socks, because my doggo got jealous of my doggie slippers and murdered them in cold blood
61)DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE
i have one and rarely use it because i forget it exists
62)WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED
a random shirt and pants, though ive been known to kick pants off (ive been doing that since birth), occasionally i manage to get the matching pj set
63)WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT
ive unfortunately never been to a concert before
64)WALMART TARGET OR KMART
ive never seen any of these stores in my country
65)NIKE OR ADIDAS
i own neither
66) CHEETOS OR FRITOS
neither
67)PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS
Peanuts because thats my doggos name!
68) EVER HEARD OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN
no sorry
69)EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS
i went to a bhangra class for about a year, and we performed for our parents at the end of that year (i was in one of the few groups that didnt have to dance in lehengas thank goodness)
70)IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE
YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING
probably something creative, but I don't mind as long as they're happy with what they're doing and its not harming others!
71)CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE
yep
72)EVER WON A SPELLING BEE
never entered one, having to spell out loud makes me anxious
73)HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY
i think so
74)OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS
nope
75)OWN A RECORD PLAYER
i wish
76)DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE
my granny burns incense while I'm at school because my mom and i both get really sick when its just been lit and the smell is strong. Going to the temple is a damn nightmare because of it
77)EVER BEEN IN LOVE
no, too busy fangirling
78)WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT
oof a long list
Queen, Twenty One Pilots, Waterparks, Frank Iero and the Future Violents (ffs fronk stop changin the name), Panic! at the Disco...to name a few
79)WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW
refer to question 63
80)HOT TEA OR COLD TEA
both
81)TEA OR COFFEE
coffee
82)SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES
sugar cookies
83)CAN YOU SWIM WELL
i wouldn't drown, but im no professional either
84)CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE
im doing it right now
85)ARE YOU PATIENT
eh
86)DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING
I've only ever been to Hindi,Tamil and Telugu weddings and lemme tell you 90% of the time bands flop at those weddings because they can't sing the classics without failing miserably, so DJs are generally better. However, in that case, if a band can perform those songs, then I'd prefer a band ig
87)EVER WON A CONTEST
yep, a couple of reading contests
88)HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY
nope, not planning on it
89)WHICH ARE BETTER, BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES
dont like olives rip
90)CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET
i can knit!
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in fact, my friends and i are so cool that we're in our schools knitting club (which besides myself, @grandfunnyemopainter and @imjustabruh , only has 2 other members)
91)BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE
lounge or study/library
92)DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED
i guess, its not on my goal list tho
93)IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED
no
94)WHO WAS YOUR HIGHSCHOOL CRUSH
currently in highschool, and in love with the borhap cast, sebastian stan, stephanie beatriz and band members (theres more but yeah)
95)DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY
nope, i have only two ways to deal, be a total pushover or a total bitch
96)DO YOU HAVE KIDS
nope
97)DO YOU WANT KIDS
kind of undecided, but i do want more pets
98)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR
Dark Blue
99)DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW
my dog, shes been ignoring me for about four hours now because I stayed at school for an extra hour (for knitting club!)
@softspaceboibrian @roger-taylor-owns-my-wigg @im-inlovewithmycar do it cowards
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alterlifes-a · 7 years ago
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✿ ✍ ⌨ IM MCFREAKIN LATE TO THE PARTY BUt those ones yes
[ hc. // @hertheory​ ]
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 ✿ – laugh
         like pretty much everyone else, tooru’s laugh comes in many different forms, dependant on the mood. as discussed briefly in this answer, tooru tends to hide his chuckles behind a closed fist / hand. if that’s the case, there’s a large chance that it’s a genuine laugh. while he may hide his laughter because he’s embarrassed of it ( as stated in said other answer ), there are also times when he knows he shouldn’t be laughing, but does it anyway ( such as if something unfortunate happens to a friend and it’s really funny; like, not a super bad event, of course, just something like them going to get napkins but then accidentally spilling something when they get back, so they have to go and get more napkins… you know, little ironic scenarios that anyone could laugh at ). these kinds of chuckles are also usually prefixed with a snort or a stifled noise made in the back of his throat, since he tries really hard not to laugh. when it’s something like this, his laugh sounds similar to the one here !
         there’s also the little awkward laugh– you know, the “ i don’t want you to feel bad so i’m going to laugh at the joke you made even though it’s terrible ”, or even the uncomfortable “ haha this is a casual setting and i did not expect you to say something so weird / messed up, what the actual heck ” laugh. in that case, it just sounds more like a grimace disguised as a laugh, than anything ( which, admittedly, it is ). nonetheless, considering tooru’s superb acting skills, he can still make it sound like an actual laugh. though if you’re one to scrutinize, or you know him / his laughter well enough, you can pinpoint the little bit of pain in there. it sounds a lil like this !
         tooru’s also got the lil cheeky laugh, which is just a regular “ hehe ”; short, quick, a little breathy. he also tends to add little intonations depending on what emotion he wants to convey. a low and quick “ hehe ” conveys deviance; a low and monotone one signifies rebellious amusement, or acceptance / the ending of a conversation; one that rises from medium to high, or stays medium, is probably a short laugh at something; a high-pitched chuckle, particularly behind his fingers, is indicative of genuine enjoyment. there’s also the quick laugh that sounds more like a huff and is really breathy, followed by a snipped and whispered “ heh ” that denotes the same feeling. though you could also perceive it as an “ i am so done with you ” / resigned noise. 
         i guess i should also talk about his more boisterous laughs ? but tooru also isn’t a loud laugher in general, to be honest… i feel like he’d just do it to piss people off because his obnoxious laughter is really hecking annoying he just escalates in volume AND pitch as it goes on. there’s also his signature “ nyahaha ” which can be seen as something mocking / joyful / what have you, dependent on, again, the context.
         the list goes on and on, really, and i think it’s kind of hard to tell from voice alone whether the laughter he emits is genuine or not. you have to take into consideration the context in which he’s laughing– who he’s with, what he’s talking about, what he said beforehand or what he says afterwards… and it does mostly depend on what actions he takes while or prior to laughing.
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                                                                                     ✍ - writing style
         given tooru’s perfectionist tendencies, it goes without saying that he has really neat handwriting. almost resembling calligraphy, i think the best equation to what he most likely writes like would be this font here ! ( also pictured below: )
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         obviously, this is his chirography for shared notes, exam / essay papers, and the like. this is for when he really needs to exude a formal and neat disposition; especially towards elders, and people who might be grading him on things, whether that be for school, or extracurriculars. he wants people to see him as someone who is organized, intelligent, and perfect, and this goes hand-in-hand with good writing.
          contrarily, if he’s writing something to close friends ( such as a letter ), or just making notes on things ( doesn’t necessarily have to be school related but often is ), he’ll use a more “ cutesy ” font, adorned with a bunch of drawings ( they’re not good drawings, mind you– tooru is an awful artist, and he knows it. still tries, though ! ) in that case, his handwriting will look a little something like this.
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         now, regarding tooru’s actual writing style ( aka his use of diction, metaphor, etc. )… he’s a pretty good writer, truth be told ! he’s part of his school’s literature club ( and, admittedly, one of its only members because… let’s be real, sports are where it’s all at, especially in japan ), so it goes without saying that his writing is better than the average student’s. he loves writing poetry most of all, though that doesn’t stop at just haikus. he has the ability to articulate what he wants to write very well, and the ink which flows from his pen when he does write is honestly a magic of its own, as it seems to move of its own volition. indeed, tooru practically sees the action of writing as the words in his heart creating art of their own on the page.         it is rather ironic, then, that tooru is not all that good at actual articulation, particularly in real life and via text. his texting style is VERY casual, and since i write him in english ( i know like, one word in japanese, and that’s it, lbr ), it’ll be presented in the form of him writing in “ internet slang ” aka using “ u ” for “ you ”, “ coo ” for “ cool ”, “ lol ”, “ LMAOOOOO ”, and what have you. i guess in terms of comparing it to japanese, it’d come as him cutting out a lot of preposition kanji ( he probably drops the の a lot, even by accident, so at times, you have の no idea what he’s talking about ), as well as using “ www ” to the point of it being ridiculous… seriously, he treats www like it’s an actual form of punctuation in of itself. oh, and emojis. don’t get me started on those. similar to his “ cutesy / casual ” handwriting style, tooru LOVES to illustrate what he’s saying. this kid probably wishes the kaomoji on his hiragana keyboard became an actual keyboard. i think he’d be a really annoying texter, depending on who you are, since he also tends to send 4 things for just one thought, as opposed to typing it out in one long message. ( example: txt. hey / txt. www / txt. how r u ? / txt. www / txt. pls reply when u can ! / txt. ♡ฅ(ᐤˊ꒳ฅˋᐤ♪) )
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                                                                   ⌨ - time-wasting habits
          he literally has none. almost all of tooru’s time, whether or not he’s doing any actual schoolwork, is part of a schedule. like, i’m not kidding, it is very rare that you’ll see him set it aside for anything having to do with him. the only time you’re ever going to see him even come close to wasting time is if he shoves his schedule aside for friends. and, quite frankly, he kinda doesn’t have any. and even then he doesn’t see it as a waste of time, since he raelly loves hanging out with friends. thus, sufficed to say, anything one may deem as a “ time waster ” is, in actuality, something slotted within his own schedule. therefore, i will probably be tackling this under the guise of that narrative, since you’d be hard-pressed to find him doing an activity past his scheduled time to be doing so. ( note: for reference, i’ve also posted what his schedule basically looks like. this is something from a huge docs i’m working on that contains a bunch of headcanons for tooru. )
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         okay, so as you can see, tooru really only gives himself breaks in between studying– these ranging from 30 minutes to almost an hour ( and even then, the small breaks he gives himself don’t actually last the duration from when they begin to when his bedtime is; they’re often way shorter than that, and i doubt he’d ever adjudicate more than an hour between study sessions for free time activities ). he often does a lot to pass by the time… playing video games ( he has a 3DS and a switch; his favourite games are pokemon and animal crossing ), going on his phone, posting on social media, looking at chat forums, talking to his plants ( he’s really lonely, ok ), making tea, baking, cooking, etc… he also may go on a quiet walk around his garden or the neighbourhood. since weekends are generally more relaxed in terms of what he has to do ( albeit exceptions such as going to juku and kyudo practice ), he might also go shopping, and even then, he’s probably just planning to buy something for a friend and not himself, or even just school supplies because… he’s literally just a loser… who does nothing but study all day long… hkfj SOMEONE LET THIS KID HAVE A DAY TO HIMSELF…
         i think this honestly just ties back into the not having friends thing, because if he did have people to hang out with, his schedule wouldn’t be so packed / sad… tooru is by no means an idiot, but he also isn’t very naturally gifted in terms of academics. thus, he has to pour a LOT more time into learning and studying than the average person. nonetheless, i think he’s more starved for social interaction of some kind. while he may have to work around his schedule, if you asked him to go and spend time with you, 9 times out of 10 he’d say yes. but alas, since he has no one to really do that with, almost all of his time is spent at home, working on one thing or another.         i also think that him not wanting to waste much time ties into the above; he doesn’t like to acknowledge his loneliness, so he just throws himself into the works of a super busy schedule so that he has no time to even think about the fact that he is not living the life of a teenager. he has no friends to hang out with, no place to really call his own, and no hobbies to keep him entertained. it’s kind of bleak and depressing, but what else can you do when no one tries to be friends with you ? you kind of just learn how to make the best of it, even if you hate being by yourself.         piggybacking on that notion as well, tooru probably spends so much time at home because he also wants to believe that his parents are going to come back from whatever trip they’re on. his mom and dad are practically never home, and his brother moved out years ago, so he really is all by himself in that huge estate ( and i’m not exaggerating; his family is loaded, and he lives in a traditional home in kyoto that was originally built during the heian era. it’s REALLY big but also REALLY empty, especially since no one but him is there most of the time ). part of his fear is that he’s going to miss them coming home one day, and even though they ignore him even when they arrive, he still tries to keep that hope that they’ll at least acknowledge his existence before leaving again. one of tooru’s biggest fears is people leaving without saying anything, so i think the notion of him not being home when his parents come and go is a really scary thought. again, this is an almost unfounded fear because his parents just. never talk to him, irregardless of their presence in the house, but tooru also has a tendency to make believe that they really love him and thus hopes a little too much in terms of how they react to his company.
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