#lena gets therapy

[natalievoncatte]

31. Spookycorp

(Yes I know it’s late. I have a permit. I can do what I want.)

Lena adjusted her cheap plastic tiara, which she’d had chosen herself at a Spirit Halloween. Though she would never admit it, Lena felt giddy when she went shopping now. She used to just send Jess or use a high end shopping service; Lena Luthor had neither the time nor the patience to fumble with checkout lines and coupons, but post-L-Corp Lena, private citizen Lena, head of a charity org and retired from corporate sharkery Lena delighted in it. In a sweater and leggings with her hair in a simple ponytail and glasses not contacts, she felt human. Normal.

Her costume was simple, the tiara and a goofy floofy mini dress she’d picked up at a thrift store, and a wand to top it all off. Kara recognized her immediately.

“Let me guess, a good witch?”

Lena stood in the door and beamed, nudging her glasses. She was still getting used to them every day but her therapist had insisted she stick with the changes she made.

(The penthouse was going on the market and she was selling her Louboutins. Most of her Louboutins. She was finally telling that little voice in her head that sounded like Lillian to SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU’RE NOT MY MOTHER whenever it admonished her about not being perfect enough)

Kara was dressed in an all-green ensemble with a pointed hat resting on her head and a cheesy plastic bow on her back.

“Robin Hood?”

“Of Locksley,” Kara bowed.

(If I’d know, I’d have dressed as Maid Marian.)

She beckoned Lena to enter in an expensive gesture and watched her step inside, her gaze lingering in a way that made Lena tingle all over, goose flesh rising on her arms. She hopped up onto a stool and smiled when Kara handed her a beer.

“They make pumpkin spice beer now?”

“Mmmm,” Kara said, nursing her own. Lena’s eyes widened when Kara tipped a flask into it; a sticker on the side read Not For Humans.

“Just a little to loosen me up,” said Kara. “It’s a party.”

Kara sat down on the other side of the table and just… looked at her. She looked at Lena with her chin resting on her fist and a soft distant look on her face, and Lena stared back just as intently, entranced by the way her sunny curls escaped her sloppy ponytail and framed her face.

The spell, as it were, was broken by a knock at the door. The snacks were coming, an absurdly huge order that Lena had placed while she was on her way. As the bewildered delivery boy accepted her excessive tip, Kara carried the bags into the apartment, and together they began laying it all out on the kitchen island.

Brainy and Nia were the first to arrive. They wore matching silver body suits and Nia had put on a gloss of green makeup: Querl simply disabled his image inducer.

“We’re aliens!” Nia chirped. “Lena I love your outfit! Wait is Kara Robin Hood? Lena, why aren’t you Maid Marian?”

Lena froze, suddenly aware of Kara’s tense presence beside her. She didn’t dare turn her head and gauge Kara’s reaction.

“Did you purchase every potsticker in National City?” Brainy asked, almost pointedly snapping the tension.

Kara laughed. “I think Lena just wants to keep me from eating everything else.”

Alex and Kelly also showed up in marching costumes, making the moment even more awkward. They were married, of course, so they were supposed to coordinate.

Alex strutted into the apartment, grinning, and threw back the cowl of her Batman costume, as Kelly rolled her eyes behind the mask of her Catwoman outfit.

“That’s cute,” said Kara. “Did you guys like flip a coin to decide who was who?”

Alex poked the gray fabric over her stomach. “You know what, Kara? Sometimes I want people to know I have abs too. And unlike some people I have to work for mine.”

Kara poked out her tongue and shoved a beer in her hand as Kelly pulled Lena into a hug.

After a toast to James, and J’onn, and Winn, and absent friends, Kara started the first movie of their marathon. Each couple had selected one film, and Alex’s selection went first: a really weird movie called The Keep.

“This was originally three hours long before the studio butchered it, but it’s still a classic,” Alex explained. “It’s Michael Mann’s only horror movie.”

Lena found it largely incomprehensible and not very scary, and there were some scenes, especially the nonsensical sex scene, that made the experience a tad awkward.

“If I was in an ancient castle in Carpathia and the crosses in the wall started glowing, I would not mess with them.” said Kara.

“Yes you would,” Alex snorted. “Your approach to danger is to shove you arm in it.”

Kara drained her beer and rolled her eyes. Lena glanced over at her and giggled, nursing the last of hers.

“Want another one?”

Lena nodded, and Kara got up to get them more drinks. Lena lost interest in the movie as she watched Kara cross the apartment and bend low to grab two more bottles from the bottom shelf of the fridge, bending at the hips. The bottom of her tunic pulled up over her muscular backside and the buns of steel strained her green leggings.

(She would annihilate me with a strap)

When Kara stood up, Lena snapped her gaze around and found everyone staring at her, Nia suppressing a giggle. They all looked endlessly amused, except Brainy, who had a self-satisfied smirk, as if he’d beaten her at chess.

Kara sat down and passed the cold beer to Lena, saying, “these movies would be scarier if they didn’t all have a bad guy I could just toss into space.”

She looked at Lena and raised her arm to curl her bicep.

Lena felt her soul almost leave her body and took a drink from her beer to hide the shivers.

The movie ended and Nia jumped up to put on her selection, which she proudly announced to the group. “ARMY OF DARKNESSSSS!” she shouted, clapping her hands.

Lena hasn’t seen this before and even though there was a ten minute prologue explaining what the hell it was about, Lena finally just decided to stop caring about the plot and just go along for the ride.

Kara had apparently seen it and she and Nia went back and forth quoting the dialogue back and forth at each other and gobbling snacks. Alex and Kelly seemed more interested in each other and had gone fairly quiet.

Lena was more interested in Kara. Her joy was infectious, especially after a third beer.

It was getting cool in the apartment by the time they were ready for the final movie, and Lena’s outfit was hardly warm. Kara felt her shiver and got up, coming back with a stack of blankets, which the others accepted.

Kara then took her cape and spread it over Lena. The fabric was stout and heavy and lay warmly about her as she tucked it under her chin.

“Uh oh,” said Alex. “Lena gets the Superblankie.”

“Oh, shut up,” Kara said.

“Lena always gets the Superblankie,” Nia agreed.

“Guys!” Kara said, sounding a little panicked.

“Start the movie already,” Kelly yawned, breaking the tension.

Kara put on the final movie, her choice: Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

No one remarked that for movie choosing purposes, Lena and Kara had been expected to act as a couple. Kara sat down on the sofa with Lena and pulled the cape around them both, tucking them tightly together and sharing her blessed, glorious body heat. Kara ran about three or four degrees hotter than a baseline human and it made her a living space heater. Lena adored it.

She adored a lot of things about Kara, like her laugh and her smile and that funny little scar, the only imperfection on her invulnerable body. She adored the way her blue eyes glittered like sapphires in the dark apartment, and the soft pillow of her bottom lip and her big strong hands and the way she was always laying a protective arm across Lena’s shoulders, making her feel so safe and…

Lena turned her attention to the movie. It was a comfort choice of hers and she knew it by heart, so it was easy to relax into Kara and not worry too hard about how much she was utterly, irrevocably, cruelly in love with her unattainable best friend.

The apartment was quiet. Lena was fairly sure that Alex was asleep and Kelly was mellow, too entranced with her new wife to care about anything else, and the way that Brainy and Nia were tucked under their blanket and whispering to each other made Lena hot with jealousy.

Kara’s chest hitched and Lena turned to her sharply.

“What is it, darling?” she murmured.

“Nothing,” Kara lied, then whispered. “This is so sad.”

She took Lena’s hand and Lena almost died on the spot, and it got worse when Kara nuzzled her chin into the crook of Lena’s shoulder.

Out of nowhere, half an hour later, Kara murmured, “if I lost you I think I’d become a monster too.”

Lena flinched, then turned to her. Kara was looking at her with big puppy dog eyes and that crooked little smile of hers, at once an honest smile and a smile for the keeping of secrets.

Everyone else was asleep, and would probably stay that way until morning.

“Kara,” Lena whispered.

Kara took it as an invitation, gently shifting so that Lena was now in her lap, and tucked Lena under her chin. She wrapped her arms around her and just breathed, chest gently rising and falling against her.

“I want you to know how sorry I am for all the things I’ve done,” Kara whispered into the top of her head. “I’ve never told you, I was gone before I could and after I got back I was scared.”

“Kara,” Lena murmured back, “darling, it’s alright.”

“I was so scared when I was there,” Kara said, not daring to name the Phantom Zone. “That place messes with time. I was terrified that if I ever got back you’d all be gone. You would be gone. I was so afraid it hurt.”

Lena went still, just listening.

“I’m so sorry, baby. You deserve better than me.”

“No I don’t,” Lena insisted, almost too loud. “No I don’t. There is no one better. God, Kara,” she softened her voice, “I think I fell a little in love with you the day we even met. I never used to believe in love at first sight or soulmates but… I am a witch after all.”

Kara let out a slow sigh. “Lena, are you saying…”

“Even when I was trying to tell you I hated you, I was telling you how much I love you. It’s you, Kara. It’s always been you.”

“I love you so much,” Kara said whispered, “I’ll love you forever.”

“Kara, everyone else is asleep,” she forced out, her jaw trembling from excitement. “Take me to the bedroom. Please.”

Kara said nothing but stood up in a single motion, lifting Lena with ease and curling her up in the cape. Lena didn’t think her feet ever touched the ground as they slipped into the bedroom and Kara laid her down on the bed, quickly and quietly closing the door before lunging into the bed, pressing Lena into the mattress with a barrage of hot, aggressively desperate kisses.

They were both quiet, Kara pausing only briefly to implore Lena with her eyes and wait for a murmured yes. There was something thrilling about the quiet, they way they swallowed their gasps and passed their moans softly through one another’s lips, and Lena would never forget the way Kara delighted in her, virtually worshipping her.

Lena returned the favor with with enthusiasm.

By morning, Lena was exhausted in every sense of the term and was curled up in a tangle of blankets and a snoozing Kryptonian.

There was a knock at the door.

“Well lock up on our way out,” Alex called. “By the way, you guys forgot about the whole keeping quiet thing about halfway through. Thanks for etching Lena yelling “daddy” into my brain.”

Kara snorted.

“Alex, I love you, but get out.”

[clueless-rads]

My writing is sometimes fucking hilarious

  “What?!” Lena suddenly feels like she cannot breathe, eight o'clock on a Tuesday morning is not the time for this kind of shit. The scene is quite comical actually, Brainy startled by the sudden outburst, eyes as wide as flying saucer, a bagel frozen just in front of his mouth. And yeah, Lena would probably like to laugh at the hilariousness of it all, if it wasn’t for the fact that she couldn’t breathe because her scalding hot coffee went down the wrong fucking pipe. 

[idontcaboose]

Luthor's Cricket part 5

Previous. Masterpost

Lex was able to distract the teen with a different documentary in the living room of his Penthouse. Said teen, however, made it loudly known that some of the information they were using was false, stupid, and downright biased. Granted, Lex was not paying attention when selecting the first documentary on the list. Apparently, it was a supernatural one called ‘All but Paranormal�� or something of the like. From the shouting, Lex could gather that they were able to interview Zatanna and Dr. Fate, Phantom took great exception to whatever Dr. Fate had to say about Ghost, Demons, and other supernatural creatures. Lex did bark a laugh at Phantom's remark of “Fate's biased view is just as blatant as that glaring beacon of a head!” and “If Fate is a Doctor, then I fear for the intellectual competency of the rest of the world! This means you too, Mr. Luthor!” Lex simply ignored the last part.

Oddly enough, even with the obnoxious commentary from Phantom and the absolute frustration of his magically inclined contacts ignoring him, it was not as tiring as he thought it would be.

“Phantom.” Lex called as he left his office. 

 “Yes, Boss?” Phantom paused the TV and turned to him with a small lopsided smile.

“Do you eat?” Lex asked. 

Phantom clearly did not expect the question with how his face displayed shock and confusion. “Uh, ya. I can eat human food. It's not needed, but it's nice to have. Why?”

“It is about time for dinner, I am thinking Foie Gras-” 

“Do all rich people eat such pretentious sounding food? Seriously, what is wrong with just burgers, burritos, and mac n’ cheese?” Phantom said with derision.

“Some people like to experience the finer things in life-” 

“When was the last time you enjoyed a “finer” thing that wasn't the direct cause of flaunting your power?” Phantom asked seriously. “Just one time.”

Lex…. He found himself at a loss. When Was the last time he actually enjoyed food for its taste alone. Most food prepared at the Galas were pretty cardboard at best. The high-end restaurants were better quality, but Lex only went to those as a power display, and even then, it was for a business deal or a ‘relaxed’ meeting of sorts. Even when he is home alone, he would order high value items so the staff wouldn't spread gossip about his ‘actual’ tates to the papers. The cooks he employed were fantastic at their jobs, the food was always flavorful and filling. 

But….

Probably the last time he actually enjoyed a meal was when his younger sister visited. She brought with her some greasy, cheesy mess of a burger wrapped in foil from a truck from the park across the street. She had laughed at his disgusted face and said “If it was good enough for Bruce Wayne and his kid to stand in line for, it's good enough for us!” 

That was about eight years ago.

After that meal, they had fought, and she stormed out. She has only contacted him through email for Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas. 

Lex ordered pizza from his cooks that night.

Next

[appropriatelystupid]

[doxiedreg]

Its once again 11 pm and I once again have not eaten dinner yet because being depressed makes me dysfunctional especially when it comes to food

I'm going to be so glad to be with my mom on Saturday, I always eat well at my mom's

But when I'm alone and going through a depressive episode my diet is shit, i eat very little and very delayed and making a proper meal feels like too much work so i dont have a well rounded diet like I usually do and dear god why must my depression be like this

Why must it deprive me of food

Food is so important

It's not that I hate food, it's not that I'm afraid to get fat or anything (and getting fat wouldn't be bad in any way either) but I just do not care. I do not feel like eating anything and everything feels as too much work to prepare. I do not crave anything and thus do not know what to eat and resolve it by not eating at all

It sucks so hard guys, my stomach freaking hurts and is begging me to eat food but I don't want to get up and even if I did get up I wouldn't know what the fuck I want to eat

My depression has been going on for like almost a month at this point I'm so fucking sick of it, let me fucking go back to being a somewhat functional human who's able to enjoy things instead of being apathy incarnate who desires to lie in bed all day

[ekowolf]

seriously tumblr, this is the post you want to remind me of today…today can fuck off, this month can fuck off, this year, all of it fr 😤 time to curl up with my heating pad and read/write the rest of today so tomorrow can get here already

you ever just feel rlly shitty so you reread your comfort fics over and over and over…no? just me?

guess this is therapy in 2023…ok, bet

[fyonahmacnally]

Little Girl Inside

It’s been months since Lex and Nxyly were defeated, since Lillian died. Months since the loss of the only family Lena’s known for a majority of her life. At first, she felt completely lost. Where she thought she would feel a sense of freedom, a sense of relief, she instead feels utterly lost. In fact, Lena feels more lost than she did on her first day at Luthor Manor as a tiny four year old.

She’s not lonely anymore. Not in any sense of the word, not really. She spends her days splitting time between the newly formed Lena Luthor Foundation and The Tower. As a fully integrated member of the team, she works alongside the rest of her friends to keep the city safe. Most of her evenings are spent at the apartment she now shares with Kara. 

It happens organically. Neither woman wants to live alone, they talked extensively about it. The problem is, neither really trust anyone to share their space. Well, outside of each other, anyway. That’s how they end up living in Kara’s loft. The idea of finding a bigger two bedroom space gets kicked around for a while. When neither of them bring it up again, the subject gets dropped and they fall into a routine. 

The fact there is only one bed and they’re sharing it isn’t strange. Best friends do that, right? It’s not an issue. The fact Lena hasn’t mentioned it to her therapist doesn’t mean anything. She just hasn’t gotten to it. Yet. 

It’s fine.

That’s the other new thing. Lena Luthor is seeing a therapist. 

When Kelly recommends she go to therapy, she scoffs. She’s a Luthor, after all. Luthors don’t go to therapy. However, after a little time passes, she begins to question her reactions to things. Is she scoffing at therapy because that’s actually how she feels about it or because that’s how the Luthors taught her to feel? This line of thinking bleeds over into every aspect of her life making her question her beliefs and reactions to everything. Needless to say, it’s very eye opening. 

This revelation sends her on a journey of discovery and self-care. She starts eating regularly, figuring out what she likes and doesn’t like in all aspects of her life. It’s like rediscovering the world around her. Unfortunately, along with the good comes the bad. Finally seeing how truly horrible she was treated by her supposed family and the damage it caused is a whiplash of trauma. Talking about things helps her in ways she never imagined. It’s the deep seated wounds to her psyche, all of the things she lost or missed out on that are harder to reconcile. 

The past few weeks have been full of introspection and realization. She’s starting to understand more and more, the little girl inside her hasn’t healed. That little girl wasn’t allowed to exist so she never got to grow and learn. At first it was a hard pill to swallow for the last Luthor, now she is trying to figure out what to do about it. Can she do anything? Is it too late?

These questions consume her thoughts most evenings and she knows Kara has noticed. It’s a random Tuesday when the hero finally asks.

Kara can tell there is something weighing on Lena’s mind. They’ve just finished a late dinner, both having worked later than usual. Plates, flatware, and glasses still strewn on the coffee table and one of their guilty pleasure shows streaming in the background. The blonde doesn’t want to pry, but she knows Lena has a propensity to compartmentalize and stifle her emotions so she tries to gently push her friend to open up.

Kara sighs internally. Calling the woman next to her friend, even in her head, doesn’t feel right. Lena is her friend, the best even, but it’s always been more. It has been for a long time. She knows it and she’s pretty sure her sister knows, too. Now though, it’s getting harder and harder to keep it at bay. They’re living together. Sleeping in the same bed. Not just that, they are always wrapped around each other in bed. She’s never had a friend like that. Not in all of her Earth years. So yeah, it’s getting harder to keep her feelings tamped down. 

But, that’s for another day, right now she needs to focus on her best friend. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Kara slides closer to the woman and softly pats the jogger clad thigh now pressed against her own. “You barely ate your dinner and it was your favorite. Plus, you’ve been essentially staring through the TV all evening. Are you okay?”

The gentle voice jars Lena from her thoughts, her viridian eyes settle on her best friend’s concerned sapphire ones. She shifts her eyes away and runs her fingers through her ebony locks before releasing a defeated sigh. “I just…I don’t know how to explain it. When I started therapy, it was on the premise of processing my grief. It has turned into so much more.” Another sigh escapes her lips as she turns toward the blonde. “Going to therapy, actually talking about the things I experienced in that house growing up, it’s making me realize how traumatic my childhood really was.”

A humorless laugh floats into the space between them, Lena shakes her head and drops her chin in disbelief at admitting that out loud. “The Luthors didn’t show or allow emotion. I entered the manor as a scared, grieving four year old.” She can feel her lip quiver and tears sting her already tired eyes. This time, instead of holding them back, she lets them fall freely. “In a lot of ways, Kara, I am still that scared, grieving little girl and I’m not sure what to do about it. Or if I can do anything about it.”

Kara’s heart breaks. She’s always known Lena didn’t live a happy childhood, that her best friend was starved for the love and support Kara herself had in droves. Lena was never allowed to feel or express normal human emotions. The stoic woman was never given the space to explore childhood and experience the joys of true freedom before adulthood settled in. She was always suppressed under the thumb of the Luthor moniker, forced to endure the strict regime of elite classes and standards that would make grown men falter. It’s something Kara wishes she could fix. 

Warm, strong arms wrap around her shoulders. Lena leans into her best friend’s chest and breathes in the familiar scent that has come to mean safety and shelter. Her Kara. Always Kara. The blonde smiles and pulls the smaller woman closer, placing a soft kiss to her forehead and pressing her cheek against silky, raven locks.

“I’m so proud of you, Lena.” She runs her left hand up and down the exposed skin of Lena’s arm, the sleeve of her faded Star Wars t-shirt leaving most of the pale skin on display. A soft hum escapes the woman’s pouty lips, eliciting a smile from Kara. “You have avoided a lot of self-care because Lionel and Lillian made you believe it was a weakness. You steered clear of therapy because Lex made you believe it was for people who were of lesser intelligence. Deep down, you’ve always known it wasn’t true, but you knew if any of them found out, they would use it against you in every way possible.”

“You’re so strong, Lena. Even in the face of such adversity, you are a kind-hearted, beautiful soul.” Another soft squeeze of reassurance. “You’ve always been the best Luthor. You always will be.” 

They sit in the comfortable, but heavy silence for a few moments. Neither of them make a move to pull away from the other. Kara breaks the silence, finding this is a perfect time to ask some questions she’s been curious about for years and move the conversation in a new direction. She also has an ulterior motive. The blonde wants her best friend to experience all the things she was starved of as a kid. She just needs to know some of those things Lena missed out on and this might be the chance she’s been looking for.

“Over the years, you’ve mentioned never watching movies or playing board games like most of us did. Are there other things you were deprived of as a child?” Kara lightly squeezes her closer before continuing to caress the pale skin of the arm now wrapped around her waist. “Toys you wish you had or places you wish you could have gone? What are some things Lena Luthor wanted as a child and teen?”

A soft chuckle passes across Lena’s lips, the warm breath ghosting against Kara’s neck and causing a shiver the blonde hopes goes unnoticed. The CEO hums. “You’ve helped with the movies and board games. I am sure there are more of both I still need to experience, but you’ve checked off most of them.” Her mind drifts back to the first months at Luthor Manor, recalling how many times she asked to play outside or go to the playground only to be scoffed at or reprimanded. Thoughts of the stuffed bear her mother gave her the Christmas before she died and how Lillian took it from her two days after she arrived. 

Kara patiently waits for an answer, fully aware of how often Lena can get lost trying to navigate the treacherous memories of her childhood. She knows how full of landmines those moments can be for her best friend. So, she pulls the woman closer to place a soft kiss on the crown of her head. Her patience pays off when Lena continues.

“I never got to play on the playground, being outside was frowned upon. Dirt was for heathens and unbecoming of a Luthor.” She rolls her eyes. “I think I stopped asking to go outside to play when I was six. It could have been sooner. I had to grow up so quickly. Shedding tears would elicit the wrath of Lillian. Lionel was never really around so I learned early on I needed to hide things from Lillian.” Lena clears her throat, not wanting to dwell too long on that train of thought. 

“There was this teddy bear I had, it was the only thing I brought with me to Luthor Manor. Her name was Miss Pizzley. I got her for Christmas from my mother.” She smiles thinking about Miss Pizzley and how much she loved that bear. “It was the last thing I got from my mother and Lillian took it from me. I wish I still had her.” She lets out a long sigh, nuzzling further into Kara’s neck. 

“Outside of the teddy bear, there weren’t many things I asked for. I knew better.” She chuckles, leaning back to look up at her best friend.

“I asked for three things from the time I arrived at Luthor Manor until they sent me off to boarding school.” She shook her head, briefly closing her eyes in recollection of the memory before gazing back at her hero. “For Christmas when I was five, I asked for a Princess Leia figurine and a Furby. The only two things I asked for and I got neither. Instead, I got piano lessons and a chess set.” She rolls her eyes as she remembers that Christmas.

Kara watches her carefully, tilting her head in awe of this amazing woman. Still so incredibly kind and caring, even after the abuse and neglect she suffered. “Wow. I can’t imagine. My holidays with the Danvers were so different. Oh, you said three things. What was the third thing?” She pulls the CEO back into her arms and they settle against the backrest of the couch. 

Lena hums against the soft tan skin of Kara’s neck, a warmth and security that has quickly become her favorite place. Cuddled on the couch with the woman she’s been unequivocally and irrefutably in love with for years. At this moment, there is nowhere else she’d rather be. 

“The third thing came much later. It was the last Christmas I spent at Luthor Manor before they shipped me off to boarding school. I asked for an iPod. I wanted a way to listen to music in the dorm without disturbing others. Instead, I was allowed to enroll in fencing classes at my new school.” She rolls her eyes, thinking of the smug look on Lillian’s face that Christmas when Lena unwrapped the “gift” she was handed. The look is forever etched into her mind. The box contained her updated schedule for Mount St. Helena. Instead of the robotics class she had chosen and enrolled in, fencing sat in its place. 

“Meanwhile, Lex was being showered with gifts. The first edition of the Motorola Razr cell phone, a brand new Rolex, and a top of the line Porsche 911.” Lena scoffs. The disparity between the two of them had never been as evident as it was that Christmas. “As much as I hated the idea of going to boarding school, at least I knew I wouldn’t have to deal with seeing Lillian and worrying about Lionel’s drunken tirades. At that point, I still adored and idolized Lex. Plus, he was still a decent big brother. In fact, he gifted me the iPod I asked for when he dropped me off at the boarding school. Our parents couldn’t be bothered with taking me so he did.”  

Silence engulfs them. Kara is mulling over the information she learned and Lena is immersed in a swirl of painful recollections. Strong arms are still wrapped around the youngest Luthor. Neither of them speak for several minutes, both lost in the haunting memories of a little girl lost. 

They don’t talk much after that. Kara’s mind is devising a plan to give Lena the things she missed out on as a kid. It’s something she’s given a lot of thought to since the woman first opened up to her. Lena is still swimming in the memories of the Luthors ghosts and a past she’s still trying to reconcile. It isn’t until a few months later that the subject comes up again.

Read the rest here!

[buddierecs]

firefighter/normal job buddie fics

these fics have one of them as firefighters and the other with a normal job as per the request :) this list has different rated fics, so please look at the rating make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

call you home by: ashavahishta "5 times eddie told the firefam about buck and 1 time they actually met him" word count: 6k rating: general audience important tags: 5+1 things, different first meeting au, married!buddie, fluff we fell in love dancing kizomba by destimushi "after tragedy strikes close to home, firefighter eddie diaz moves him and his son, christopher, to LA where they can start fresh." word count: 125k rating: explicit important tags: cooking instructor!buck, bdsm, dom!eddie diaz, sub!evan buckley, dom/sub biology and we can stay all day by: trippedandfell "buck's a zoologist. eddie's pretty sure he's in love." word count: 3.3k rating: general audience important tags: alternative universe, zoologist!buck

what is love for $2000? by: fayevian "one night when eddie can't sleep, he discovers the hottest Jeopardy contestant of all time (objectively). with the "help" of his team and his fairly good working knowledge of twitter, they devise a plan to get evan (from Jeopardy) to slide into eddie's dms. it works surprisingly well." word count: 17k rating: mature important tags: multimedia, texting, humor, frottage i like you so much (it's kinda gross) by: aficatyourfingerstips, brewrosemilk "eddie is an MMA fighter and buck thirsts on twitter" word count: 10k rating: explicit important tags: celebrity au, social media, texting, sexting stupid people by: brewrosemilk "new in los angeles, and having recently admitted to himself that he's gay, eddie figures that hiring a sex worker might be a good way to keep his private life cut off from his job and his son. a way to keep things from becoming too complicated. it works. for a while." word count: 160k rating: explicit important tags: different first meetings au, sex worker!evan buckley, friends with benefits, friends to lovers, multimedia, blow jobs, rough sex, praise kink, come slut!evan buckely, light dom!sub, phone sex, riding if i lay here, would you life with me (forget the word) by: browney3dgirl6 "the one where eddie’s in the army, shannon gives up her rights to chris, and eddie needs a babysitter. good thing lena knows buck, the guy having nothing better to do than help babysit until eddie gets back. eddie would come home, and he would leave; it wasn’t like they were going to build some lifetime friendship or anything." word count: 90k rating: explicit important tags: different first meeting au, army!eddie diaz, slow burn, idiots in love, literal sleeping together, long distance relationship, soft!buddie, eventual smut i'm cold but you light the fire within me by: beulaugh "buck shows up for career day at eddie's school, and both of them struggle to rein in their attraction." word count: 22k rating: general audience important tags: different first meetings au, teacher!eddie, first kiss, careers day frequent flyer by whileyoursleeping "the one where eddie is a firefighter, buck isn't, and eddie finds himself rescuing buck from increasingly sticky situations. sometimes literally." word count: 13k rating: mature important tags: mild hurt/comfort, buck has bad luck, fluff

smoke and ashes brushed off with ink by princessfbi "tattoo artist!eddie diaz AU inspired by the tumblr thread about praise kink discovery when getting a tattoo" word count: 18k important tags: eddie diaz takes care of evan buckley, non-sexual submission, praise kink, ptsd, art therapy

[tortillamastersblog]

♕ No Matter What - Part 16 | Lena Luthor ♕

Pairing: Lena Luthor x reader

Warnings: mentions of injuries and slight angst

Summary: Lena is still a no-show. . .

Previous Part | Next Part | Masterlist

________________________________________________

“Good, you’re doing great. Just one more step,” Dr. Mike encourages, holding my left hand as I walk on unstable legs.

My right hand is wrapped so tightly around the bar mounted to the wall that my knuckles have turned white.

I take the last step before lowering myself into the waiting wheelchair. My hands are shaking and I’m breathing heavily as Doctor Mike crouches down by my side with a beaming smile.

“That was amazing, Y/N,” he says. “If you keep working hard and doing your exercises you’ll be almost as good as new in no time.”

I try my best to smile, but even without the pitiful look on Doctor Mike’s face that follows it I know it wasn’t very convincing.

Ever since we dialed back my pain meds my entire left leg has been tingling and is weak. Sometimes it feels like an electric shock runs through it, all the way from my hip and down to my toes, and Doctor Mike says that even though the weakness will get better, the nerve pain will never truly go away.

Yes, it will also get better, but I won’t ever have physiological sensibility and mobility again.

“Why don’t we get you back to your room, you look tired,” he states rather than asks when I don’t comment on anything that he’s said.

I mumble please and hang my head low when he begins pushing me out of the pt room and back to my own room.

It’s been almost three weeks since what happened and I’ve honestly never felt this empty.

Don’t get me wrong, I was absolutely crushed and numb after Noah was killed, but now there’s just so many things weighing me down that I don’t know if I’ll ever come out on the other side of things again.

To start things off, I’m constantly having nightmares about what happened with Lex. They’re mostly about what actually happened but sometimes they’re also about Lena, Sam, or Ruby getting shot.

Then there’s the whole situation with my dad. He hasn’t visited me since that one time where he tried to apologize, and I’ve been racking my brain ever since if I have it in my heart to forgive him.

There’s also the nerve damage on my lower spine which turned out to be worse than expected. I’m not paralyzed — something I apparently came very close to— but my left leg is basically useless at the moment and the constant physical therapy is painful and exhausting.

And to top it all off, Lena hasn’t visited me even once since I got here. I also can’t get ahold of her on my phone because Lex destroyed it and I have yet to get a new one.

No one’s heard from her. The news outlets are dying for a comment from her about Lex’s and all her friends — Sam obviously included— can’t reach her either.

She’s not at home, apparently, which worries me, but it’s not like I can just walk out of this hospital and go look for her myself.

The only thing that gives me a little peace of mind is the fact that she texted Sam the day I was shot that she had to deal with some stuff and that she wouldn’t be available for some time.

When I first heard about it I was very worried because I know she blames herself for what happened, but then as time went on, I started to hate her for abandoning me.

Now, though, I’m just sad and dejected.

Do I really mean that little to her? I mean, even if she does blame herself, I thought her worry would outweigh her guilt eventually and she’d visit me, but apparently not. . .

Doctor Mike drops me off in my room, making sure I’m comfortable in the bed before leaving with an encouraging smile.

I sigh and close my eyes, only to open them again a couple minutes later when Sam and Ruby stop by.

They’ve been visiting me every day and even though I’m absolutely miserable and can’t wait to get out of here, they’ve been a reliable support system and always managed to cheer me up, even if it’s just a tiny bit.

Sam kisses my cheek in greeting and Ruby hugs me before pulling a deck of UNO cards out of her mom’s purse.

“Can we play?” she asks with a hopeful grin and I pat the space on the bed next to me with a nod.

We’ve been playing this game for a week now and at first ai thought I’d get tired of it, but that has yet to happen. I love playing with the two of them, especially when Ruby giggles after putting down a draw four card.

“Of course, c’mere.”

Sam takes a seat on the chair next to the bed while Ruby settles in next to me. She shuffles the cards and hands them out as Sam tells me about her day at the office.

“. . . and then Marcus has the nerve to burst right into my office,” Sam concludes once Ruby has passed out enough cards. “Can you believe that?!”

I chuckle and shake my head, sorting my cards and fanning them out in my left hand. “I honestly don’t know why you haven’t fired him yet.”

Sam huffs and puts down the first card, a red four. “Yeah, me neither.”

We play a couple of rounds, chatting about God knows what until Ruby decides she’s had enough and that she wants a hot chocolate from the hospital’s cafeteria.

Sam hands her some cash and we both watch her leave before Sam turns back to me with a serious expression.

“Okay, out with it,” she says, moving her chair closer to the bed. “You’ve been awfully quiet lately and I know it’s not just because of Lena.”

Immediately my eyes start stinging with tears and I gulp, trying to force them away. When Sam grabs my hand and squeezes it however, there’s no stopping them anymore and within seconds my cheeks are wet and my chin is wobbling.

“I just— I can’t anymore, Sam,” I admit with a hiccup. “I’m exhausted and-and everything around me reminds me of everything bad that’s ever happened to me.”

I use my free hand to wipe away my tears, but it’s of no use because they just keep coming and there’s nothing I can do about it as everything I’ve been holding back for almost three weeks now bubbles out of me.

“I can’t stand walking past Noah’s favorite coffee shop every morning. I hate seeing my dad’s favorite local beer in bars and I hate all the reporters outside the hospital just waiting for me to talk about Lex,” I whisper, not daring to look at Sam. “It’s too much. . .”

It’s silent for a moment until Sam’s soft touch on my cheek makes my breath hitch. She uses her free hand to wipe away some more of my tears and when I look up to meet her eyes all I can see is sympathy and understanding.

“It’s okay, Y/N,” she says quietly. “I understand what you mean and I think it’s high time you got away from all of this for a while.”

I take a shuddering breath and squeeze her hand. “You’re saying I should leave?”

She nods. “Yes. You could travel and explore the world, or you could just move somewhere else for a couple of years, you know?”

I don’t want to travel. I’ve seen enough of the world for now, having been stationed in a couple of countries while I was in the Army.

The thought of moving, however, makes me pause and think for a second.

It would be a great opportunity to start over, start on a blank slate, and if I ever get homesick I can always just move back to National City.

“But what about you and Ruby?“ I ask. I’ve always been there for them and they’ve always been there for me, too. I can’t just leave them behind and start a new life somewhere.

“We’ll be fine,” Sam assures me with a watery smile. “We’ll always stay in touch, but it’s time for you to start living again, Y/N, rather than just existing.”

“Sammy. . .” I trail off, not exactly knowing what to say. I’m overwhelmed by her understanding and her support, but I’m also sad at the prospect of being away from her and Ruby.

“It’s okay,” she says. “You’ll be okay, and Ruby and I will be okay, too.”

I squeeze her hand again and close my eyes for a second, letting what happened just now sink in.

“I love you, Sammy,” I whisper when I open my eyes again.

Sam sniffles and blinks away some of her own tears. “I love you, too.”

I chuckle and press a kiss to her knuckles right as Ruby returns from the cafeteria. She doesn’t notice our tear stained faces and wordlessly joins me on the bed again, sipping hot chocolate from her paper cup.

She starts babbling about her day at school which makes me smile softly. Every so often Sam’s gaze meets mine and the unrelenting understanding in her eyes puts my mind at ease.

I’m going to be okay, I think, but the question of Lena’s whereabouts and what she’s up to still gnaws at the back of my mind.

It’s been a week since I decided to move and an old friend of Sam’s told her about an apartment he’s just finished remodeling in Metropolis that I can move into at any time.

It’s a big step, moving to the other end of the country, but it will give me the space I so desperately need.

I was released from the hospital two days ago and have since been packing most of my stuff and getting my affairs in order.

I have to take it easy because I’m still recovering, which is why I’m only packing light things like clothes. The rest will be taken care of by a moving company that I’ve hired to start tomorrow.

My left leg is still weak and tingles, but the shooting pains have stopped and all my other injuries have healed nicely.

I have to use a crutch for the time being because I’m still a little unstable on my feet, but Doctor Mike told me that I won’t be needing it soon enough if I continue to do the exercises the physical therapist showed me.

So far the only people who know that I’m moving are Sam and Harper. The latter found out because she was there when Sam called me about the apartment, but she swore not to tell my parents about it.

We’re almost back to where we were before Noah’s death since she, not unlike Sam and Ruby, also visited me in the hospital daily, but it will still take some time for our friendship to be fully restored.

Now, as for my parents, I’ve decided not to tell them about moving until I’m already settled in Metropolis. If I told them now they’d try to stop me from going because they’re both trying to make things right with me, but I can’t start healing if I don’t get some space.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I will never be able to forgive either of them for what they did to me, especially not my dad, but I can see myself being civil with them in time.

A knock on the door makes me pause and drop the stack of clothes I was just about to put into a box onto the bed.

It’s almost dinner time and Sam was planning on coming over with some pizza, so I think nothing of it when I open the door with a lazy smile, but then I freeze when my eyes land on the one person I’ve been yearning to see for almost a month now.

“Lena,” I whisper, taking in her red nose and the snowflakes in her dark hair.

“Hi.” Her voice is just as quiet as mine, if not even quieter, and when her green eyes meet mine in silent question, I step aside and let her into the apartment.

________________________________________________

I’m sorry it’s a bit short, but the next part (probably the final part) will definitely be longer.

*Not proofread yet

Tag list: @nerethos @orange15quote @nuianced-tck-enby @autorasexy @unexpected-character @nothisismax @wandatasha @likeornella @rosea-reginae @aca-biitch @jujuu23

[mousedetective]

Please Help A Mostly Queer/Disabled Homeless Family Pay Off Their Debt?

PAYPAL | AMAZON WISHLIST | KOFI | GOFUNDME

VENMO: @penaltywaltz | CASHAPP: $afteriwake23 | ZELLE: DM me for email address

03/05/24

So good news! We're in a 30-day shelter with a caseworker and help from the City of Encinitas Homeless Support Program to get housing with 30 days. It's a brand new shelter and we're all together in a room with the cats, and they're really eager to help get us out of our homeless situation.

Right now, we have about $1000 in money we can save up each month. If we can pay off the debts that my mom owes that she's in credit consolidation for, that frees up another $187 each month. If I can pay off my installment loan, which is four payments totaling $475, that frees up another $124 a month. I think my mom just paid off a credit card debt, but we have $100 debt that I think has gone to collections, $500 we need to pay on a card before that one goes to collections, and $300 for my PayPal 4 in 4 payments. We also have two payday loans I'd like to pay off before they're due at $600.

So if I can cover all that debt this month, we'll have well over $1,500 to put towards a rental payment in May, if we can get help with a security deposit and first month's rent through housing programs. We might be able to afford a two bedroom apartment in Fallbrook with that much. We'd need to come up with money to move our stuff out of storage as well, but a friend of mine has covered the big units until April 1st and may cover them an extra month if needed.

Any help would be amazing. We are so close to getting out of hotels/our car and into something stable. I'm setting the goal at $3000 for now because I don't have wifi at the shelter and can't check exactly how much my mom owes for her debt consolidation still.

But any extra will help with gas to get to places where we can get things we need (birth certificates, Lena's social security card with her dead name, Lena's psych eval, my mom's dental stuff, and doctor/therapy appointments) and food in case the snafu with my food stamps isn't fixed right away (we get three meals here, which is fine for me and Lena, but my mom is basically still on a soft food/liquid diet and they're still needing to get stuff for her and the gentleman here who has no teeth).

Please help if you can, and please reblog as well! We would all greatly appreciate it.

$2500/$5000

EDIT: We found out today that Lena is currently uninsured. The meds she was prescribed for her mood disorder are $1,500 out of pocket. She needs the medication badly. Please help?

[natalievoncatte]

CW: discussion of death and dying.

The gun was still on her hip when Lena walked into her penthouse. She probably should have gotten rid of it, just for the sake of disposing of evidence. It was far from the only one she owned, and she wouldn’t miss it. Then again, one does not discard lightly the weapon of fratricide. She’d decide what to do with the murder weapon later; right now, there was only one thought screaming in her head.

I killed Lex. I killed my brother.

It kept repeating in her brain on an endless loop.

I killed my brother for a liar. A betrayer. He was right and I was wrong. She only-

Lena was not alone. There was a figure seated on her sofa, staring straight ahead. Lena knew those blond curls, falling in a dark river like warm honey. Supergirl.

Supergirl, not Kara. Kara was good. Kara loved her, trusted her, watched out for her, had her back. Kara kept her secrets and gave her a shoulder to cry on always had her back. Kara was good, and Kara was a lie.

Lena walked around the couch, eyes wide and lips trembling, her features pulled into a mask of morose fury. How dare she just break in here and… sit there.

“I died.”

Lena froze.

“I died,” Supergirl said, again. “The clone of me that Lex had, she was a duplicate created by Harun-El somehow. She killed me. I died.”

Supergirl’s brilliant blue eyes flashed in the twilight of Lena’s dark apartment and locked on her.

“There was nothing. No warm light of Rao welcoming me home to live in peace with my people forever. No tunnel of light. There was just nothing. I was gone and then I wasn’t. Alex said the grass brought me back.”

Lena licked her lips. She was fixed to the spot.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I’m Kara.”

Those two little words, those treacherous words, hit Lena like a freight train. Her knees buckled and she sagged, catching herself by an end table.

Kara met her gaze.

“There were a million reasons why I never told you. They’re all stupid and pointless. When I woke up that was the first thing I thought of. I died and I never told you.”

Lena tried to speak, but her throat had gone so dry that it was like trying to breath through a mournful of sand. She sagged further, barely able to fall into a side chair.

“At first I just didn’t know you well enough. Then I screwed everything up by being a complete ass to you, and I never even said I was sorry. But I was sorry. So I was too scared to tell you because I didn’t want you to hate me. Then by the time I wanted to tell you again, all of this had happened and I was still afraid you’d hate me.”

Kara looked down at the floor.

“But then I was dead and none of it mattered anymore. None of the things that had been important to me mattered when I was dying. You know what I was thinking as she crushed the life out of me?”

“No,” Lena choked out.

“This is it?” said Kara. “All that… and this is it? Just like that? This is all I get?”

Silence ruled the dark apartment. The back edge of Lena’s gun dug uncomfortably into her flank. Kara just sat there, looking through the floor. Perhaps literally.

“Kara,” Lena said, without quite knowing why. “I’m sure… you weren’t…”

“No, Lena, I died. It wasn’t like when Reign beat me to a pulp and threw me off a building. That was different. This was different. I can’t even say how. I just know.”

When Reign…

Lena had been there that night. Reign had beaten Supergirl into a coma, thrown her off a building and left her broken and bloodied in the street. Lena thought she’d died that night.

Wait.

That was Kara, too.

Sharp, rancid bile, harsh and acidic, burned the back of Lena’s throat. She choked it down, trembling.

Kara looked at her again.

“I have something else I have to tell you.”

Lena needed a drink. Now. She wobbled across the room to the kitchen and grabbed the nearest wine bottle, pouring herself a glass and downing half of it in one go. It was a dry red, harsh and sharp on her tongue.

“Kara,” Lena began. “Before you say anything else-“

“I’m in love with you.”

Lena wasn’t sure what she expected Kara to say, but not that. Not just… say it. She couldn’t say it. Not when Lena has been grasping that secret so hard that it always threatened to slip from her fingers, reedy to leap from her grip from being held so tight. The words simultaneously made her feel as if her heels would float from the floor and nearly drove her down to it. She leaned on the white marble countertop, trembling.

“None of the reasons I kept that secret matter anymore, either. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I’ll leave if you want me to. I just… I died,” Kara’s voice crumbled into a sob, barely intelligible, “and I didn’t tell you.”

Lena said nothing. She downed the rest of the wine.

“What do you want from me?” She finally choked out.

“I want to tell you about Krypton. I want movie nights and game nights and big belly burgers and brunches. I want to kiss you. I want to kiss you so bad I don’t know how I never did. If you want that.”

Again, Lena went silent.

“I want to make up for the shit I’ve put you through. I want to show you how much I care for you, as often and as thoroughly as I can. Dying without you fucking sucked. I want to live with you instead.”

Lena’s breath quickened. Kara’s boots creaked as she stood up, her cape billowing slightly behind her as she crossed the room, keeping a respectful distance.

“I’ll go, if you want. I just had to say it.”

Lena pressed her fingers against the countertop until they went white and her palms trembled. She felt the weight of the gun on her hip.

“Stay,” she whispered.

There is no prompt for this one. The idea just came to me and I had to write it out.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Portal Children AU Pt 2 - Supercorp

At the age of 12, Lena earns an expulsion from her fifth boarding school. By that point, her parents are at the end of their wits with her, and when they learn of the Home for Wayward Children, they're relieved to dump Lena there and leave as swiftly as their car can manage.

Who can blame them, when their darling little girl returns from an afternoon walk in the grove bitter and bereft and uninterested in the world around her? How can they hope to salvage a relationship with a daughter who glares at them with far too much resentment than an eight, then ten, then twelve year old should contain?

They leave her, and Lena doesn't give their trail of dust a backwards glance. She has work to do, and the Home for Wayward Children-- in truth a refuge for children just like her-- may just be the place to get it done.

Any time she's not in class Lena is outdoors and in motion. She runs across the acres of land the school is situated upon, from fence to fence in every direction. She climbs trees, hopping between them across bending branches, on nimble feet. She boxes with shadows, throwing jabs and elbows with sharp, precise blows.

She harvests a thick fallen branch, and carves it down to a smooth staff, swinging it around her body and over her head in a violent single person dance. The headmistress of the school tries to scold Lena when the paring knife reported missing by the school cook ends up on Lena's belt. But no matter how many times it's confiscated, it always ends up back on Lena's person, until one day the headmistress (once a wayward child herself) gifts her a proper dagger with a chide to stop stealing from the cook.

When Lena's not moving, she's strategizing, studying, plotting. She's spent 20 years as a general, leading her fellow freedom fighters in sabotage runs, blitz attacks and full frontal assaults all. She has negotiated with royals and peasants and everyone in between, with the fate of an entire world solidly on her shoulders.

Even five years after her return to her childhood body, that responsibility has yet to release her. Her thoughts tumble with catastrophizing what ifs, wavering between wondering what happened to her friends after Lex banished her and knowing that he's already executed them all.

Her entire existence now focuses on finding a way back to her world, and being ready to resume the fight as soon as she does.

The students at the school are used to oddness amongst their peers. But even among children all individually shaped by their specific circumstances and worlds, Lena is considered odder than most. She shows no interest in making friends, and even if she did the other children find her intensity unsettling.

Except for her roommate, Kara.

Kara fares better than most. Coming back with the knowledge that the journey back would be a long one helps, even if it can't totally dull the pain of missing her chosen home. Her return had been voluntary, and she knows that however long it may take, she *will* make it back, and that her friends will still be there waiting for her when she does.

So she doesn't understand what drives Lena's unhappiness, at first. Lena doesn't share in group therapy, so no one really knows what her world or her role in that world truly was. But where they see a girl removed from the world, Kara sees only a friend she hasn't met yet.

Kara also likes to be active. Or rather, she likes to be strong. Where Lena moves and moves and moves, Kara is perfectly content lifting weights in her little fitness corner. She exercises for strength where Lena exercises for survival. Even so, Kara sees the value in Lena's movment, the lightning quick economy of motion. And Kara adores it.

One day, Kara leaves a gift on Lena's bed, then crawls into the tree outside their window to wait for her roommate to return. When she does, Kara sees Lena freeze in place, her eyes jumping swiftly from the oddly wrapped package on the coverlet to scan her surroundings, searching for any sign of a threat.

Realizing her error, Kara makes a point of rustling the leaves around her before poking her head through the foliage.

"It's okay!" she chirps brightly. "I left it for you."

Lena's gaze narrows on Kara, mouth twisting to something just shy of a frown.

"Will you open it?" Kara continues, then adding, "please?"

Slowly, Lena eases her book bag from her shoulder, and finally sits on the edge of her bed, lifting the awkward bulk of the gift into her lap. When the wrapping paper falls away, Kara hears Lena gasp.

An unstrung bow glimmers in the afternoon light, it's surface smooth with untouched polish. Kara knows from wrapping it that the wood is dense, strong but flexible in a recurve shape, perhaps a little large for Lena's frame. But the way Lena stares at it, Kara has no idea if she'd made a huge mistake or not.

"I saw you trying to find a suitable branch in the woods the other week," she says quickly. "I think I got the size right, based on what you seemed to prefer, but if it's not I can let my parents know. They helped me get this, and--"

Lena stands sharply, gripping the bow shaft in one hand while the other scoops up the loosely coiled string. In a single fluid motion she strings the bow and draws it back to the corner of her jaw.

Kara stops and stares, amazed and dazzled by the efficiency of her roommate's movements, and the laser focus of a hunter, a warrior, on Lena's features. Then, as quickly as she drew it, Lena relaxes the bowstring, spinning to face Kara where she's perched outside the window.

"It's perfect," Lena breathes.

Then she smiles, a bright dazzling beam of delight that no one in this world has ever seen. In that moment, Kara knows she'll spend the rest of her life collecting as many of those smiles as she can.

[thecasualqueer]

I find it interesting that Lena is often portraid as the emotionally distant one when Kara saw everyone she knew die, spent 13 years in the phantom zone, arrived on earth and had to pretend to be human to fit in, had to morn her adoptive dad twice, sent her boyfriend away etc and still acts like she's happy and everything is fine. Like this girl has never processed a single emotion in her life.

And in season 6 she just stops smiling partway through, GET THIS WOMAN TO THERAPY!!

She should be screaming crying having a mental breakdown, but she's all like "no I can't have emotions I'm Supergirl"

[appropriatelystupid]

like obviously kara is the one searching and somehow lena decides to do it (sam probs bets her she would never) and they end up with kelly and when kelly figures it out she’s just like “oh sweeties you both need this fr”

did anyone ever use this as a sc au prompt?? asking for me specifically 👀

[chemblrish]

Hey Lena, any tips for how to make friends in uni as a nerdy but introverted/socially anxious girlie? 🥺 thank youu

Hi!

I need you to know I saw this ask and immediately thought, "Did I just get a message from my past self?" 😅 Nerdy and introverted? Check. Used to have very bad social anxiety? Check. I was in therapy though and it was immensely helpful! I'm still a little shy but doing incomparably better, so I can tell you what I've learnt and hopefully some of it can help you too :)

Excuse the language, but first of all, you need to give yourself a fucking break. Shy people, we tend to fixate on ourselves: our looks, our posture, on whether what we just said was weird, and so, all our flaws (both real and imaginary) appear magnified tenfold - but only to us. Because truth is, nobody else is judging you half as harshly as you're judging yourself. Nobody is analyzing all your jokes or the way you walk. If you trip or say something awkward, it genuinely doesn't matter. It happens to everybody sometimes, it's okay. Remember that there's nothing wrong with you. Maybe you're shy, maybe you're easily overwhelmed, maybe you have very little experience making friends - but none of these make you inherently weird. So give yourself a break. You're sincerely doing a lot better than you think, I promise.

Small talk is actually not a bad thing, no matter what some edgelords may try to tell you. I used to spark up a lot of conversations early on in uni by bringing up things like the last test (because most of the time I'd get a mildly pained sigh in response and then we'd bond over how hard it was and how the professor was crazy lol) or the upcoming lab class ("Any interesting exercises in your schedule?") or how my commute to uni that day wrecked me and hey are you a commuter? Oh, you live in a dorm, how do you like it? And many other things of this sort, because if you think about it, uni is a neverending source of conversation topics when you're a student talking to another student.

You know how shy people are advised to just ask questions because everybody loves talking about themselves? That's not a bad advice. The trick is to be genuinely curious about other people. Don't ask just to say something, ask to hear what that other person has to say. This is helpful for two reasons: it takes the focus away from you (which is exactly where shy people shouldn't keep it) by directing it at the other person, and it actually helps to keep the conversation going, because it allows you to find either another thing that might interest you about that person or something to share about yourself.

Maybe it's obvious, but don't hide yourself. I know it's a lot easier to just curl up in a corner with your phone, but you gotta put yourself out there. Hang out with the rest of your course mates outside the lecture hall as you're all waiting for the professor. Take your time packing up afterwards instead of dashing straight for the exit. Don't look for that secluded spot where you can hide safely with a book (even though your introvert instinct tells you to do just that), be where the other students hang out.

Sometimes you have to keep choosing someone. Storytime with a moral: I took a liking to one of my current friends very early in the first semester. She seemed like exactly the kind of person I wanted to stick with in uni. I'd always come up to her and talk to her first but she hardly ever did the same. For some time I'd think, "Welp, clearly she doesn't dislike me, but she doesn't seem to like me much either." Now I can't even remember when that changed, but in an honest conversation we had maybe last month (so after almost two years of knowing each other!!), she told me she often struggles with figuring out whether someone likes her and wants her around or not, so she usually just stays away. You aren't the only introvert out there. Maybe the person you're trying to befriend is also a little anxious and needs a bit more time and effort from you. Don't give up too easily!

Not all people are your people and that's okay. You'll find that trying to talk to someone continuously feels like a chore no matter your good intentions. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with you or with them. Everybody can't click with everybody and that's fine!

And lastly: "different friends for different things" is a liberating philosophy. Maybe there's this one person in this one class that you always sit with and get along with well, but it doesn't seem like either of you wants to take it any further than that. Cool! That's your buddy X from Y class. Not everyone has to be your bestie who knows all your secrets and shares all your interests. Be open to the concept of casual friends, so that you don't miss out on the more meaningful relationships by chasing someone who's just not feelin' it if you know what I mean.

Good luck my fellow introvert. Remember getting better at making friends is a process but also a skill that can be practiced and polished. You got this, I'm rooting for you!

[yelenasdiary]

For flufftober: Middle sibling reader x older sister natasha and younger sister yelena. Reader was recently released from the subjugation of the red room and so theyre throwing a little welcome home party for reader. With cake and streamers and a polaroid camera. Some terrible music playing that they all jam too as they down too many bottles of vodka?

New Memories

Pairing:  Older Siblings! Natasha & Yelena x Younger Sibling! GN! Reader

Summary:  After a little over a year of therapy, your older sisters throw you a welcome home party.

Warnings:  Fluff/Comfort, Mentions of Red Room, Subjugation, Drinking, Language Warning | 1.3K

Translations: Sestra (Sister), 

AC: Thank you for requesting this, as I mentioned, I have combined with request with another, I hope you enjoy! x

October Special Masterlist

"Sestra, it'll be fun" Yelena argued with her Russian accent coming in thick. It was Halloween and your sisters, Natasha and Yelena planned a little party for you with the help of the other Avengers, Alexei and Melina. It's been a few short months since your year of therapy had gone from three sessions a week to weekly appointments, your therapist was proud of how far you'd come since your sisters saved you from the subjugation of Red Room and freed you from the control of General Dreykov. You hated that they wanted to throw a party in your honor, you never liked the fuss being about you. 

"Lena, I know you and Nat are happy for me and trust me, I am proud of myself as well but I just don't think I want to have a party thrown to celebrate" you replied before letting your eyes fall back down to the book in your hands. 

"It is not just to celebrate how far you have come" Yelena spoke as she took a seat at the end of your bed, forcing you to put your book down once more. "It's about making new memories, ones that are real, ones we get to keep and talk about in years to come. Natasha won't admit it but I know she would love to fill the photo album she has on her bookcase and I would like an updated photo of the three of us" your older sister by 2 years went on. 

She had a point and that made it hard for you to turn her down. Looking back on the memories you had with your sisters, it was hard to remember. You were only 4 when the mission in Ohio was completed and you were ripped from Natasha's arms. After that, it was blurred moments of fake Christmases, thanksgivings and other holidays just to give you three a moment of something that felt somewhat normal. 

"Fine" you playfully rolled your eyes at the blonde, "will Kate and Wanda be there?" you asked with hope. Yelena nodded, "who do you think were the first to jump at the idea of baking a cake" she replied. 

"A cake? Really?" you asked with a slight frown, of course your family were going to make this a big deal and honestly, for Yelena to say this would be fun was a comment you never thought she would say about a party. 

----

Music mixed with laughter and chatter filled the room, Kate wandered around taking polaroid photos of everybody and placed them in a small box for you to look back on at a later date. Eventually the room became quiet, around midnight people called it a night and headed to bed leaving you, Yelena and Natasha still up. 

"Now we can really party" Natasha smiled as she placed a bottle of vodka on the table along with three shot glasses. "Amen to that!" you replied in a sigh of relief, too much socializing and now you were finally going to have the party you truly wanted with your sisters. 

Yelena poured three shots as you and Natasha threw streamers at one another, you started it of course. "Stop acting like children, lets drink!" Yelena announced as she carefully yet skilfully sliding the shot glasses down the table to you and Nat without spilling a drop. You downed your shot the moment it hit your hand, the burn of the alcohol in the back of your throat reminding you why you loved vodka so much. 

It was long before the bottle of vodka was finished, and another was placed on the table. Crumbs of cake slices littered the wooden table while the three of you made new memories, jokes and brought up old, good memories. 

"SO BYE BYE MISS AMERICAN PIE, DROVE MY CHEVY TO THE LEVEE, BUT THE LEVEE WAS DRY" the three of you sung in sync, now each holding a bottle of vodka. Wanda and Kate had come down from upstairs and watched the drunk mess unfold. You were laughing, when Yelena pushed you to the floor for standing on her foot for the 5th time. Natasha had the polaroid camera in her hand taking very drunken and blurry photos of you and Yelena before turning the camera on herself to snap a selfie. 

"Do you think Tony would get made if we stole one of his suits? I mean come on! those things look so fucking sick!" You looked between your sisters. Yelena turned to Nat, "I'm with Y/n, let's do it!" she said before taking another mouthful of vodka from the bottle. 

"Should we stop them?" Kate whispered to Wanda who shook her head, "no, let them have their fun" the Sokovian replied before gesturing her head towards the stairs as a way to say let's go back to bed. "I kind of want to be awake early to see Tony's reaction" Kate whispered once more as she followed Wanda up the stairs. 

"Alright but you gotta be quiet!" Natasha said, bringing her index finger to her lips in a shush motion. 

Cheeky smiles tugged at the lips of you and your sister as Natasha led you both down the hall to the elevator, pressing the basement button. 

----

"Can somebody tell me why the fuck I found 3 of my suits scattered around the damn compound?!" Tony asked with pure anger in his voice. Your head was pounding, it had clearly been a while since you got drunk as much as you did last night. 

"Tony, shhhh!" you looked up at him before taking a sip of your coffee. 

"Nothing is broken, nothing to stress about" Natasha tuned in, taking her hang over a lot better than you were. She looked as though she didn't even drink last night. 

"That's not the point Romanoff and you know it!" Tony snapped, "the three of you are suspended until further notice so I suggest you start thinking about cleaning up the mess you made!" he added before storming out of the room. 

"What mess?" you asked with a frown as Natasha sat down across from you at the dining table, peanut butter toast in her hand. "Oh, that is on you and Yelena to clean" she replied with a light chuckle as you rested your head on the table to catch a few extra minutes of shut eye. 

Yelena came into the kitchen just how Natasha did, as if a hangover was non-existent. "HA! Looks like somebody needs a little more practice on how keep their vodka down" she spoke, her loud voice making your head pound harder than before. Slowly, you lifted your head to look up at your sister, giving her a look of death has she stole Natasha's mug of coffee, "please shut up" you replied before letting your head drop to the table once again. 

"You and Y/n have to go clean up the yard today" Natasha said after swallowing a mouthful of her toast. "Yeah, I figured" Yelena chuckled, bringing the mug to her lips, "you better go take a shower sestra" she encouraged you only to earn a mumble and grumble in return as you took yourself to the showers. 

"Another round tonight and they will be fine" Yelena looked at Natasha before taking another sip of Nat's coffee, Nat just chuckled, "I don't think they could handle another round" she replied as Wanda walked into the kitchen. 

"You three had fun last night" she smiled softly as she placed a rather large handful of polaroid on the table in front of the two Russian sisters. Natasha reached for the small photos and flicked through them while Yelena watched, a smile tugging at both sisters lips as they saw how happy they looked, how much fun they had and how finally they had photos with real moments, real emotions and real love. 

"Yeah, one of the best nights" Natasha spoke softly.

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