#known but also don’t leave me
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Need everyone to be real extra niceys to me before I go crazy and become the joker. I am real and valued and ppl do love and/or care abt me for reasons other than what i can offer them and my worth is not determined by what I’m willing to sacrifice or give to others #manifesting
#erm. gonna be honest. the multiple men pretending to be friends with me to attempt to get access to my body may have ruined a crucial part#of my brain#it’s so evil bc I want to trust my friends not everyone has bad intentions. but I always feel like everyone just wants me around bc of what#I can give them#which is such a bad way of thinking I hate thinking of my friends like that bc I know they’re nothing like those multiple guys#but having it happen for erm. like six consecutive years with multiple different ppl is kinda rough!#I just feel so unlovable and that the only reason ppl would want me around is not bc of my personality or whatever but instead bc of what#they can get from me#and when I have nothing left to offer. when I’m doing so bad I can barely get anything done. I feel it’s only a matter of time before all of#my friends just leave bc I can’t offer them anything else#I feel like I’m scrambling for and clinging to anyone so desperately and I hate it bc I also don’t want anyone near me I don’t want to be#known but also don’t leave me#i speak
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Fiddauthor doodles
*leaves this politely on the floor and scurries away*
yeah. enjoy ^_^
#THEY MAKE ME ILL WHAT THE SHIT#I AM GOING TO EXPLODE#fiddauthor#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleauthor#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#ford pines#gravity falls fiddleford#stanford pines#gravity falls#normal about them.#the first occurs in the comic btw.#doomed yaoi#no because ford get your head in the game. there’s a married man that wants you more than he wants anything else.#I’m just as oblivious as him though. I can’t be talking.#also fiddleford how does it feel spending all your college years hopelessly pining for your roommate#and feeling frustrated with the lack of romantic progression because neither of you can read signals for shit#so when you inevitably don’t amount to anything and are forced to just ignore anything that may have ever existed between you two#you spitefully get hitched and have a kid to prove to yourself that you’re a) straight and b) not just some loser coward#but all along you’ve just known he was the right one for you. nobody could ever compare to what he gave you#everyone else has simply acted as a replacement or substitution for what you felt for him. you can’t shake the feeling ever.#and when years later you get a call from him you justify immediately leaving to work on the project as a) your entitlement to him and b)#a desperate and hopeless attempt at rekindling your college days#HOW DOES IT FEEL FIDDLEFORD
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making a real post for @rvspecter pls bear with me
anyway harvey hurt fic where after mike is busted and given a second chance at life (or a third, really) and pearson specter litt seizes the chance to instate a pro bono department mike is heading because he wants to get it right this time and harvey will do just about anything to keep him, these two men finally mention this Thing between them and decide to give it a try. and it’s good. it’s fragile and it’s tentative and it’s gentle and it’s the same as it’s always been but with more tenderness, more honesty, more vulnerability (and more sex of course) and it’s good. against all odds, it’s so good.
but then one day, long after hours, donna approaches harvey in his office and her eyes are shining, but it’s not a glow harvey is used to — he never wants to get used to donna’s eyes filled with tears so he asks her what’s wrong, but he’s not ready for the answer. because she tells him she can’t work for him anymore. she tells him she’s leaving him — to work for louis at first, maybe to quit altogether. the fact do the matter is she can’t be the Donna to his Harvey anymore because she’s in love with him and she thought she had it under control but she doesn’t, okay, she doesn’t and it hurts and she wants to be happy for him and mike because they’re so good but all this time she’d never thought that harvey would ever find someone real, and now that he has, well. she can’t pretend anymore that it doesn’t tear her up inside and she doesn’t want to put that on any of them so she’s doing the mature thing and leaving. to heal. to get over him. to come back stronger.
and she’s so, so sorry.
they listen to gordon one last time, they toast to thirteen years one last time — her words, not his, but they drive a knife into his heart nonetheless because harvey doesn’t do one last-anything and yet here sits his best friend and asks for one last night together and who is he but to give her everything she wants and more. she’s his donna — still, tonight; one last night. she is.
he doesn’t tell mike that night. couldn’t, even if he wanted to; because he doesn’t have the words. but in the secure hold of mike’s arms, he says “donna won’t be working for me anymore, starting tomorrow.” and he doesn’t mention how that means that donna went to jessica and louis first, he doesn’t mention that he was the last to know, he doesn’t explain how he wasn’t given a chance to fix this — not this time. “donna quit?” mike asks, and harvey swallows, shakes his head, shrugs. “just me,” he says. “just me.” and when mike pulls him closer and holds him tighter and tells him “i’m so sorry, harvey,” it’s the first i’m sorry that night that he believes.
unfortunately, sorry never fixed anything.
especially when soon after, mike finds out just why donna left. and he gets all up in his head about it, he allows himself to spiral because he’s so ready to succumb to tunnel vision and obsessing over solutions to problems that aren’t his to fix. and so he tells harvey that he can’t be the thing that comes between him and donna. they’re soulmates after all, mike can’t bear to be the one to sever their bond. harvey doesn’t understand. he’s the one who’s supposed to lose his mind over having lost his best friend and pretend like everything is okay, what right does mike have to make that about himself, to take it upon himself to fix everything when harvey’s the fixer, harvey is the one who solves problems and protects people. but mike won’t hear any of that and tells harvey that he can’t do it like this if it means hurting donna because she’s his best friend, too, and he wants to get it right this time. he doesn’t want to build this new life on decisions that hurt his people — not again. he’s hurt enough people, he can’t keep doing it.
harvey wants to ask him why he’s always so ready to protect everyone at his expense. isn’t this thing between them, their relationship, isn’t it meant to stop them from hurting each other? why is it okay to hurt harvey, but not to hurt donna?
he doesn’t ask any of that, only tells him that they’re not in high school, and that they’re either doing this or not, but he refuses to base their relationship on whether or not his best friend is okay with seeing him happy or not. “you’re either in this with me, mike, or you’re out. that hasn’t changed, and it won’t, because donna will get over it and everything will be back to normal before you know it.”
“you don’t know that.”
“yes i do, because we’re grown-ups and we get over things.”
famous last words, it turns out, because mike just slowly shakes his head, agonising over this and not thinking, clearly not thinking when he says, “i’m sorry, harvey. i can’t to this; not like this.”
and all he can do is watch mike’s back as he all but runs from him, dragging his heart behind him, through the dirt, uncaring as bits and pieces of it chip off with every step mike takes, with every second that passes and allows the words i can’t and i’m sorry, harvey echo in the hollow of his chest.
we’re grown-ups. we get over things. well, tough fucking luck.
and this is how harvey loses the two most important people in his life in the matter of a week. before he knows it, he’s alone, left to fend for himself and hollowed out. his walls are broken down, deconstructed piece by piece by carefully, gentle hands to reveal what’s underneath — only for the hands to retreat, letting in the icy cold and accepting what’s inside to wither and die.
there’s a reason harvey specter makes his own luck; the universe isn’t very forthcoming otherwise. a fact that is proven when he finds a stranger outside his building when all he wants is to curl up and breathe through the cracks of his broken hearts that have pierced his lungs, they must have, surely they must have, because he can’t breathe. and he doesn’t learn how to breathe again when the woman — a kid, really, merely twenty-five — reveals that she’s his half sister. because it turns out the reason lily specter was so ready to up and leave all those years ago; the reason she didn’t fight for her family and instead blamed it all on harvey, was because she was pregnant. and she lied about it — for twenty-six years.
amelia selene specter is the little sister harvey has always wished for — but cancer is a curse that rests on the specter family, and while marcus got lucky twice, selene isn’t. she didn’t have the money for medical resources, and it’s eating harvey alive that he didn’t know, that there was no way for him to help her and that there’s no way now.
but there is. because selene has two kids, seven and four, and she needs his help because they can’t get lost in the system, they can’t live with total strangers or be separated because the system doesn’t actually care about children, they only care about not feeling guilty. and she won’t ask lily. these two angels must be kept from her at all costs because she ruined two families already, she won’t ruin this one.
and harvey is obsessed with the thought of more family, he needs to take care of and be there for someone and he’s ready to take on the world to protect his niece and nephew — but he’s not warm, he’s not available, he’s not even at home most of the time, nor is his place suitable for kids.
he agrees to take them in and find a solution though. he promises selene that he’ll be there for them. he’ll always be there. and when he gets to meet them — a few days before his sister dies way too young, way too alive for something like death to not rip him apart entirely — he gets attached instantly and vows to himself and to selene that nothing will happen to them as long as he’s there.
even though harvey just lost his family — the one he chose, the one he was born into, and the one he never got to meet. even though harvey’s entire world was deconstructed with no one around to put it back together. even though he doesn’t know how, because evidently he got it wrong every single time, harvey gets to build a new family with these kids. and though it tears him up inside, it heals something inside him too — and sometimes they balance each other out, and he can breathe again for just a little while as he reads to charlotte because she’s feisty and afraid of nightmares and not listening when he says she’ll be tired in the morning because “i’m tired in the morning anyway, but now i wanna read” and he trades her going to bed for a bedtime story, and she falls asleep with her face pressed into his side.
it’s so frail, though, so fragile, this little family, and he knows what it’s like when everything breaks. he knows what it’s like to lose one’s family — over and over and over again. and he’s terrified that he’s building himself back up the wrong way. he’s terrified because there’s no one keeping him together but both his hands are occupied holding these children that cry for their mama.
he’s terrified because he’s not supposed to be doing this alone. but everyone else has made their choice and he, as always, is just there to bear the consequences and try to turn it into a win.
one day, he will. he has to. and one day, he’s not alone anymore.
#harvey specter#mike ross#donna paulsen#marvey#suits#suits usa#suits tv#listen uhhh sorry this got so long??? i take no responsibility that this ran away from me you are warned now this is what happens when#you get me started on a story idea hdhdhd#of course mike realises what he’s done and how STUPID he was about it all and he runs back to harvey attempting to fix it all#not at all expecting the two children in the condo#and when harvey tells him everything and mike realises the damage he’s done and the pain he’s caused he doesn’t know if he can fix it#if he can make it right. if he even deserves another chance at this because shit harvey i’m so sorry. i didn’t know. god i’m such an idiot#knowing donna was hurting it made me panic but realising that you were hurting even more just… god. you didn’t deserve that. i’m so sorry. ‘#and harvey gives him a sad smile because he’s known all along that mike was in his head about it and that he was being stupid and self-#sacrificial. only that he didn’t just sacrifice himself but harvey too. and he had hoped GOD had he hoped that mike would come back to him.#‘can i come in? i’d understand if you never wanna see me again though’ mike asks and harvey opens the door with a shrug. ‘course you can.’#and mike tells him he loves him. and harvey tells him about charlie and elias. and mike tells him he loves him. and harvey tells him about#selene. and mike tells him he loves him. and harvey looks up and wraps his arms around mike because he doesn’t want to hear it but he does#not want to let go of him either. never wants to let him go again. they cry a little bit about it. but it’s okay because mike wipes his#tears away and harvey lets him before resting their foreheads together. ‘don’t leave again’ he tells him. ‘i won’t’ mike promises.#and he doesn’t. and their family gets a bit more fragile then but also stronger for it. somehow it makes sense.
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Hello praying people, I'm not doing well and would really appreciate your prayers right now <3
#long very boring and unnecessarily detailed tag monologue incoming‚ feel free to skip:#this is going to sound like a silly thing to be hitting rock bottom over#but i’m fairly certain i have a semi-rare skin condition known as sensitive skin syndrome#which is basically where skin gets progressively more sensitive#until it won’t tolerate the topical application of anything at all without getting irritated#usually it happens to people on the skin of their face and i have it there but i also specifically have it on my lips#(which apparently is extremely not normal; i found a dermatologist’s case study from like 2019 of one woman who had it on her lips#and according to this case study there were no other cases of people having it on their lips#in all the dermatological literature he had read)#i can’t follow the protocol which all the journal articles i’ve been able to find say is helpful for the rest of the face which is basicall#leave the area the heck alone for at least a year#because if i don’t apply anything to my lips for more than two or three days they will get so dry they crack and bleed#so it’s looking like one way or another i may be having to deal with dry burning irritated lips for the rest of my life#and i’m not dealing with the thought of that very well#i’ve already suffered so much anguish from extreme sensitivity on the rest of my face#and not being able to take proper care of the skin there#and this is just too much for me#i know God is allowing this for a reason but it’s filling me with so much frustration and panic and despair that i don’t know how to go on#but i must and i will#this isn’t a serious or a life-threatening condition but it’s looking like a pretty hopeless one and it’s hurting me badly#and i would appreciate prayers that it would just be healed or that i would know what to do#i think i will try going to my dermatologist but somehow i doubt she's even heard of sensitive skin syndrome#on a COMPLETELY unrelated note i'm just about to get my period and also for two days i've ''eaten'' nothing but vegetable smoothies#and those in pretty small amounts because they're disgusting#(do a detox my hormonal health doctor said)#(it'll be fun she said)#ok if you read this far you're so brave braver than any u.s. marine etc.#thanks for reading ily <3
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Ah yes, Magnificent Century, or as I like to call it – “Why the fuck are the most likely Ukrainian girl and the Crimean Tatar woman speaking Russian to each other, what were the writers smoking???”
#BEFORE ANYBODY COMES AT ME#DO NOT use this post to debate hürrem’s nationality. please#most people agree she was from an area which is modern day ukraine. can we please leave it at that#also yes they were speaking Russian in that scene. not Ukrainian like I’ve seen some people say#trust me I know and can tell the difference between the two. it’s Russian#okay? okay#now that that’s out of the way#what is this. the 1500s or the Soviet Union??#for the record at this point in the show timeline there’s still another 32 years until Ivan the terrible conquers Kazan#a.k.a the Tatar capital#and ukraine was not a part of Russia at that point either#though I cannot tell you exactly who it belonged to bc I erased most of what I learned in history after my exam#but the point is#there is a very. very small chance that both of the would have known Russian#especially fluently#I feel like I’m swinging at a wasp’s nest by making this post so again#please don’t start any discourse#I am just trying to make a joke about the Taylan brothers failing both history and geography#alright?#okay good#Nia rewatches MC#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#hürrem sultan#valide sultan
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on one hand I am very glad that ketamine therapy has been helpful for my severe depression and anxiety and ptsd and whatever else is going on up there, and I’m grateful that it’s available to me as part of my treatment plan
on the other hand I’m not a huge fan of the payment for that help being a 50/50 chance every time of having a bad trip that unlocks some deep scary part of my psyche and then having to address all of that in therapy until the next trip
#starlight personal#ketamine has saved my life and also scares the fuck out of me tbh#like I went into this trip being all ‘love and kindness gotta be nice to myself’ and it went ‘yes BUT -‘#and shoved me off a cliff into years and years of repressed existential anxiety and reminded me that I’ve had that since I was Very Small#bro please I just want to not off myself I don’t need to be unpacking deep childhood trauma rn I’m trying to buy a house#how am I supposed to buy a house when I now have to grapple with Deep Pain being brought to light#I was going to talk about house anxiety in therapy this week but that has now been derailed for -#I Am Terrified of the Universe and Always Have Been and Do Not Know How to Cope With This When It’s Not Repressed#and I do truly believe if it came up in treatment that it means it’s time to deal with it and learn to handle it#but like…….. I would’ve liked to be asked#not just thrown into the scariest psychedelic trip of my life and then left to pick up the pieces#anyway this is all to say that I’m once again cursing my genetics for not letting SSRIs work and leaving me with psychedelic woo-woo shit#like what do you mean I can’t take a pill and ignore some of this deeper shit what do you MEAN I have to face it#ketamine is very I Will Shine a Light on the Things You Have Hidden Whether You like It Or Not For Your Own Good#thank you I guess but right now I’m a bit grumpy about it#on the brightside I am hopefully going to be less depressed for the next two months until it wears off again so we love that!!!#hahahaaaaaaaaaa it’s fine we’ll be fine this will be good for me in the long run#what’s peace like I wonder I’ve certainly never known it
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There’s this guy I went to school with that will be participating in a dating show and I hope my mom won’t watch cause that will be awkward to see HDJSBJS
#she haven’t watch the last 3 season cause she prefer are version of love *sland#our*#but she always thought of going back to it if they weren’t playing at the same time for some reason#cause seeing him half naked making out will be really weird for me bfjsbdjs#but I’m always in the leaving room on my iPad so I will see by force bdjsbjdbs#living*#bestie show me a screenshot and I was like who’s that#and she was like “it’s name ! we went to high school with him’’#I felt like I was slapped with memories fjbsjdjs#the minute she said his name I was like omg you are right and got hit by more memories of being in kindergarten with him#so I went to get the lil photo book I have with photos from when I was 5#and yes he was there I have 2 picture with him fksbjdbs#even if I’ve known him for 20 years I can’t remember him that much HFJSBDJ#that must mean he was a good guy !#I only remember the people I hang out with and the one I hated bdjsbsb#so if I don’t remember him it means I didn’t hate him probably#I also remember class clown hahaha#I always check the participant to see if I know someone I actually did today but didn’t realise jfbsjdjs#I knew it would happen one day#at least it’s not a old friend or someone I know don’t deserve fame fjbsjdjs#like that actor that was in my cinema class fkbsjdns#alex.txt
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i hope all “pan-critical” and “bi-critical” and whatever the fuck critical people ( aka exclusionists ! ) all trip and fall face first into a sharp penis shaped rock
#btw this is just known as being exclusionist! don’t hide your hatred behind a horrible veil#saw someone who was ‘ pan critical but i dont hate pans!’ yes you do yes you do.#leave people’s labels alone. I promise you the pansexual mutual on tumblr isn’t stealing away your resources on the lgbt#“ITS REDUNDANT!!!’ ok when has a label in this community ever not overlapped with another#look me in the eye and tell me you also don’t use the terms gay or lesbian over homosexual#because it means the same thing !1!1!1!1!1 it’s redundant!!!111!1!11#killing you with the katsup blast right now. i hope you rot#vent /#awn the intercom
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“Atp I feel like you’re just keeping tabs on me here lmao” ummm . . . What an incredibly self centred, egotistical thing to say . . .
#I keep following ppl I don’t even like btw I don’t understand why me remaining to follow her is such a note for concern ? like#if it bothered you so bad then stop subtweeting about me and actually ask me myself what the . .#dw this isn’t to do w any1 here btw ! it’s on twt lol with an ex friend#if she even knew anything abt me in the almost two yrs we were friends she would’ve known I keep following ppl who I don’t talk to#+ those who I don’t know and those who I really don’t like and have caused me much heartbreak 🧍♀️ even those who make me incredibly#uncomfortable! bc I’d rather delete my entire account than unfollow someone I had a falling out with 😭👍#so her tweeting that is so freaking weird to me like ;;#it’s like she’s taking advantage of how low I was when we separated and elevating herself like I’m missing out on smth special so I ought to#keep tabs on her#??? sure I loved her but her behaviour was so sickening it grossed me out from her#the only reason I kinda went insane was bc I have bpd tendencies so what she saw was the concept of the fear of abandonment#not the fear of losing *her* 😭 bc at the end of the day idc if anyone comes and goes ? I just fear the concept#if she was so upset then why hasn’t she unfollowed me herself ? is it to keep tabs on me ??#and why did she text me ‘ HAPPY NEW YEAR !!! ‘ like 🧍♀️leave me alone maam you hurt me beyond words#also what is wrong with keeping tabs on an old friend didn’t she say she always loves her friends that end up leaving anyways ??
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i’ve talked about this in the past but i friggin hate looking on pinterest for outfit inspo during colder days and all the outfits that pop up are like skirts and a hoodie, like girl it is below freezing i need like jackets and boots n shit none of this “long skirt and a turtle neck :3” that’s not enough girl my city has nicknames because of how cold it gets here in the winter omfg
give me ideas on how to layer sweaters and leggings not “it’s cold today so i’m wearing a long sleeve & a cardigan :)” YOU DONT KNOW WHAT COLD IS
#it’s not even THAT cold today#there’s just a chill in the air that i’d like to combat#but pinterest is being a jack ass and giving me shit like short skits and hoodies#respectfully#spend a weekend in my city in like january or february and then tell me yer fuckin cold#i’ve seen my city referenced in BOOKS for being known for being nothing but cold ffs#i just wanna look cute in the snow but it’s not fuckin easy 😭😭😭#i say ‘there’s a chill in the air’ but like it’s STILL fucking below freezing#leave it to me to make a big deal outta nothin’#like i’m making it sound like this is a horrible thing that is getting in the way of my day#it’s really not#but i wanna hang out with my friend today but i also don’t wanna freeze my ass off while i’m on my way to her place yk?#this city can’t make up its damn mind either#too fucking cold in the winter and to damn hot in the summer#like fuck me dude#i can’t win 😭😭#my eczema is SCREAMING all day everyday#FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
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Do I have really anything decided about my rook’s post game canon? No, but I did finally pick names for her and Lucanis’s kids
#murray rambles#josette de riva#i dont know if they stick with the crows or not cause it’s all theyve really known#and their family is the crows#but I do know they oopsies some twins into existance#and theyre each named after one of their dead mothers#so theyre aurelia and delfina#and if lucanis’s mom has a canon name don’t tell me#anyways in my lil world lucanis is hyped but josette is scared shitless cause like she fully grew up orphan crow#with all her parental figures dying or just being absent/leaving her she’s got no fuckin clue what parents DO#she had viago sure but he was always more the older brother type than parental for my rook#especially cause he was sorta kinda an adopted cousin and also only 4 years older#dragon age#my rook
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The more people insist that Wake and Leaves aren’t Mythical (and to an extent also that the rest of the Proto Beasts and Neo Swords aren’t Legendary) the more I start to believe they are Mythical (and Legendary) out of spite
#this is mainly a twitter issue btw people don’t tend to reply to my tumblr posts saying “actually there aren’t any Mythical Paradox Pokémon”#I don’t care how Game Freak has officially referred to them btw are we forgetting how “Mythical” and “event-exclusive” are linked?#or are we just forgetting that Wake and Leaves are event-exclusive#plus HOME counts Wake and Leaves as “special” (ie stronger more important Legendary or Mythical)#and given a) the rest of their trios have the same base stat totals b) they’re event-exclusive and c) they’re not exactly “more important”#I’d say they’re counted under that in a “they’re Mythical” way#walking wake#iron leaves#proto beasts#neo swords#also Perrin only has photos of the rest of the trio members not Wake or Leaves#to me this implies they’re unheard of or generally good at evading their presence being known in-universe just like Mythicals often are#pokémon#would be kinda funny if they did officially classify Wake and Leaves as Mythical in the code for Gaia#(I guess in that circumstance it would be extra funny if the other 4 weren’t classified as Legendary and just remained as Paradox Pokémon#but I guess that would also imply they’re not Legendary so I guess I’d prefer if they were officially Legendary in that situation)
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I’m really struggling right now (still crying a lot and just feeling sad in general) but I’m going to try to get to my inbox tomorrow. I’m hoping if I make this post, I’ll actually do it. I want to answer questions from the Halloween ask game I reblogged and stuff but we will see. I think it would make me feel better. Help me take my mind off of things for a while. There’s too much change right now… Need something fun to do.
#I’m sorry for being such a downer#I feel like all of my posts recently are sad#and I know people don’t want to see that all the time#but this is also my safe space so I know it’s ok#but I still feel guilty#I have no one to talk about irl about what’s making me sad#so I go here#anyways it’s hard#someone I’ve known practically my whole life is leaving#and then I’m leaving too!#Life happens and sometimes things change#and they’re good changes!#so I really shouldn’t be sad but…#it’s a bittersweet feeling#they are growing up and leaving and I’m so proud of them#but I still feel like a lost lonely kid who’s moving away from her best friend while her best friend moves onto better things#I’m never going to ever have a friend like them again#and things between us will never be the same#but we will always be close and there will always be that familial type of love there#I just have to let them go and I just want to hold onto them a little longer#gosh now I’m crying again#I can’t do it I can’t say goodbye#I wish it wasn’t so hard#I have never been good at goodbyes…#things will get better it just hurts right now#anyway vent over I’m so sorry#sfw interaction only#sfw agere#sfw age regression#Quizzyvents
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ok i need to be very kind to myself and acknowledge that i had a good day regardless of how it ended but i did find out that my other best friend (no.4) is asking someone out meaning nearly every person i know is either at that stage or in a relationship and i’m wondering at what point do i start ramping up my insanity in hopes of finding any kind of love
#i’m hot these days (none of y’all liked my selfies though :/) but like. i was way more attractive#based on pure statistics when i was crazy fucking insane so like. i think that’s the strat.#i know this sounds horrible but i’m slowly going to lose my mind over this#i genuinely have no idea what i’m doing wrong i’ll fall in love with ANYBODY#it’s not even that i’m asexual strangers don’t know that that might be a moot point anyway!#people just don’t get drawn to me and it’s really fucking getting to me#because i don’t want to be like. wingman person anymore. i don’t WANT to date#but like i also need to. i need to be desired even if it really unsettles me#because i do want romance in general and if not right now then when?#i need to burn something down to be really honest because this is just.scary.#i’m watching everyone knowing they’ll leave me and i have no leverage or control#there’s nothing stopping them and if i had a lover maybe i could#i just can’t figure out what i’m doing wrong this is so fucking terrifying to me#i am starting to hate my appearance bc like should i? but i’m really pretty also?#and like maybe i’m not funny or cool enough. do i not know enough people?#do i just need to flirt with everyone? honestly i’ve tried that#do i need to lie and say i’m not a lesbian? do i need to stop talking? talk more?#i don’t understand why anybody likes me but i want to be loved forever so fucking bad#it’s killing me it’s KILLING ME. i don’t understand the dating scene i don’t get it#but i can be beautiful and funny and i can make it work but maybe i’m not good enough#i don’t know how to be a better person i’m so scared people will leave#maybe i stop saying i’m asexual and maybe that will make it work#i can’t tell if saying you’re asexual is a turn on or off i get really mixed reactions.#i don’t know. never listen to me about anything.#but look at my selfies i’m kind of going fucking insane about those too. but like idc#maybe i’m a hollow rotten person that seems about right. i mean. it’s a known fact that i can’t love. not really
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Idk if this is true or not but I got a text from a random ass number saying he was gonna be leaving and Casey likes was replacing him??
(THIS IS NOT CONFIRMED I DID GET IT FROM A SPAM NUMBER LOL!!)
Anyone else get the vibe we might be getting an announcement from Brody saying he’s leaving soon
#I’ll be sad but it ok :(#the outsiders musical#the outsiders#if he leaves diva down#tbh wont be mad about Casey tho#but also let him free from the FREAKS known as the outsiders fandom#if he dose leave i really hope people won’t be asses 😭😭#live laugh love#brody grant#ponyboy curtis#musical theatre#IDK IF UTS TRUE IT NOT!!#pls don’t hate me
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ʚ FINISH INSIDE HER ?! ɞ
ᡴꪫ sum. what the hell is a full nelson? no worries, luckily underground boxer toji shows you a hands-on demonstration. although, you want choso to try it with you too. not only are you a slut visual learner, but you also think you can take them both - not in a fight though.
wc. 5.8k
warnings. fem! reader, boxer! au, boxers toji & choso, 3sum, choso walks in on you and toji, unprotected, full nelson, manhandling, brief ōral (f + m), quickie, size diff, finger sucking, praise, dirty talk, choking, they fight over you, whiny choso, squırting, impact play, slight nıpple play, premature ejac, spıt.
an. kind of based on this ask!
“upsie daisey, uh huh. biiiiig fuckin’ stretch,” your mouth drops open once your thighs gets sprawled apart. your back slumps back against the fighter — toji, you’ve been training with him for a while. not only were you training with him but you’ve also been a bit of a fan. you mentioned to him on how you wanted to strengthen your ‘flexibility’ a bit more and of course, he had just the right thing to help you. out of curiosity, you asked him about a certain position you watched him perform on his rival, choso kamo. full nelson, it was considered illegal in some rings if not all. toji would always perform a specific choking move where he’d pin choso down with ease, burly buff arms putting him in a head lock - preventing him from moving a single inch. the entire crowd always goes wild at it every single time—so you wanted to try it out for yourself. “easy, easy. don’t tap out on me jus’ yet, okay? y’er a big girl.”
bobbling your head to give him a nod, an airy breeze shoves you back into his chest. the stretchy fabric of his boxing shorts tickle against your skin upon impact. “o- okay,” you breathe, gasping once he hooks two big arms underneath the undersides of your thighs. he’s got such a good taut grip that seconds later, you felt yourself throb a bit at the feverish, hot friction. “you’re not really gonna, heh, choke me out right?”
“not unless y’er into that, princess,” he jibes, a throaty husk of a chuckle leaving out of him. and as you’re spread all out, limbs extended—yeah,
you were probably fucked.
after what seems like hours of meaningless stretches and exercises to prepare your limbs, toji’s finally got you in the position — you were sprawled right in his lap, being in a safe firm chokehold.
his voice was roughly gruff, and as he spreads your legs just a bit further, you feel the cottony bandage that wraps around his arm ghost up against your thigh. his touch was gentle and you intake a sharp breath, further continuing to lean into his touch - his grasp. “mhm, seems like y’er a bit more flexible than i thought. this comfy?”
“no,” you let off a sheepish snort, starting to feel a brief pang on your thighs from the position. to be fair — not only was full nelson uncomfortable but it was dangerous. just one wrong move and snap. but toji was a professional, he’d make sure you’d keep all your pretty little limbs in tact. probably. clearing your throat, your eyes scan around a plethora of trophies and plaques he’s won throughout his career. “but um, have you ever tried this position with no clothes on?”
toji grows quiet, allowing you to lie back on his chest. black curly strands of chest hair fondle against your skin before he murmurs gruffly into your ear. “maybe.”
the growing bulge that hid underneath his boxers had you almost feral. you felt its presence—how it was just there, poking right against your shorts.
you prepare for yet another sharp drawn out breath, taking in his loud axe cologne that wafts through the entire studio. “can we try nude?”
and that was probably dumb to ask.
it was very dumb to ask.
your lewd filthy thoughts loved to make themselves known out of your lips at the worst times. your heart raced the moment you blurted that out, feeling the tips of your ears burn a scorching temperature. he’d say no, you were almost sure of it. you were just a dumb fan who managed to be a favorite, surely he wouldn’t—
“why the hell not,” he snickers, sliding his hands toward the smooth curvature of your hips. “i’ll go easy on ya for today. let’s get rid of these,” he pulls on the string of your panties, already discarding your shorts with such quickness. “i’ll try not ‘ta break you too bad.”
but that was a lie—
not only did he break you but he stretched you out in all the ways possible.
you had the most dumbest expression, tongue lolled out, legs spread, gushing all over the velvet red boxing mat - time and time again.
pink luminescent lighting shine back against the centers of your irises as you stare up at the ceiling’s lights. you’ve never felt so weak. spit slick lips of yours were all swollen and numb from being chewed on constantly like candy. within minutes, your knees were already surrendering, bucking at his very mercy.
“fuck, tooooji.” you’d drag out his name in cute elongated syllables.
the infamous elastic stretch of his cock has you writhe and spasm all over his lap. ludicrously, your voice bounces across the cheap walls of the building. nevertheless, you can’t lie to yourself, you’ve rubbed a few out at the thought of having this moment with your favorite boxer.
unprofessional, maybe. but he didn’t care and neither did you. besides, he was helping you with your flexibility after all. even if it was a bit more intimate than most regular methods.
your heart races, thumping out quick hurried beats as he’s shoving his cock in and out of you. you’re in such a submissive position that you were just a bobble head, a doll. he treated you like one — using your body, bouncing you up and down and manhandling you all over the mat.
he gruffly cackles behind the plushy shell of your ear, watching right before his eyes as you’re jouncing on his dick. your skin was so warm, so hot, the recoil stings for a few seconds before your ass ricochets off his sharp pelvis.
the smacks and paps only grew louder, and so did your sweet melodic moans and whimpers.
a creamy pearl of a ring coats around his base and he grunts, still having a beefy arm around your neck. his muscles flex and you fight the urge to bite his bicep. “easy, good girl. lean right into me. y’er a natural.”
his words went straight to your cunt. toji was a dirty talker, never a sweet talker.
he knew how to get you wet, whether it was with his slick mouth, his tongue, or even his cock. his voice was always so low, timbre and all. the husk that it carried never failed to make you soaked. embarrassing,
oh, it definitely was embarrassing.
he’s got a free hand gripping onto your thigh, kissing your ass with his palm - rough rude spanks.
the cute flinches of your rear bouncing back against his lap makes him slide a tongue over his lips, including sliding over that notorious scar that slides down the right side of his mouth. “fuck, so fuckin’ sloppy. got the mat all soaked. should make ya lick it up, huh.”
you couldn’t even reply . . you tried, but babbles of inaudible squeaks came out instead.
it just felt too good, he felt too good.
you’re panting heavily, the repetitive pop song that blared through the boxing ring’s broken speakers gets stuck in your head. you hear the moist wails of your pussy squelching time and time again, entirely soaking yourself with your own beloved filth. a free hand of toji’s creeps its way in front of you. hand so big that he could easily cover it over your entire face if he could.
with glossy half-lidded eyes, you stare at his palm, feeling your mouth water.
thick long fingers, he knew what he was doing.
toji’s just casually waving his hand around in your face in a slow mesmerizing motion as you bounced on his cock. they were so lengthy and thick, his arms had prodding veins for days. from his wrist to the edge of his arm, you saw the veins poking out. he was so built that you couldn’t help but stare, couldn’t help but drool. “what a sloppy little girl. i could really snap you in half, heh,” he huffs, clenched abs pressing against your back. it’s hard, rock hard . . they feel like bricks.
you knew underground boxers like toji had to keep up a strict workout routine but damn.
“but you’d like that, huh,” he murmurs, bringing another smack to your slick wet folds. you moan at the stretch of your limbs, craving for more of his rude spanks against your swollen cunt. you throbbed from not only his words but his touch too, and the thought of him literally breaking you had you a bit more soaked than you thought it would.
this was a workout of its own - rutting your weight up and down against him. he’s got a secure hold on your body, holding your thighs up in place.
you were stupid, not even acknowledging that you’d already grab ahold of his wrist, stuffing his fingers into your mouth. you moan the second the dry bandaged digits delve past your lips and makings way down your throat. as your ass steadily rocks against him in sloppy rhythm, you feel the very tips of his fingers prod against your puny uvula. you almost gag at the unexpected feeling—a cobwebby trail of saliva that was translucent pours down the side of your parted lips.
“no manners, tch,” he scoffs and his ripped abs continue to brush up against your back. “sloppy baby. got some nerve showin’ up to train being this fuckin’ nasty ‘n soaked.”
the hot skin against skin contact rubbing off against each other had your panties in a bunch, despite them already being technically pulled to the side and abandoned.
you were already still sensitive, swollen achy cunt sobbing out its own pleas of pleasure.
haphazardly, your knees buckle and he snatches his fingers out of your mouth. he does this solely to get a taste himself, swirling his pink pointed tongue against his slippery digits all thanks to you. “startin’ ‘ta think you came here for more than to just get an autograph ‘n work out with me, pretty girl.”
and as the plump crown of his cock molds you a tiny brief bulge from just his size alone — it repeatedly thrashes up against your sweetest spot. you shudder, about to collapse backward before you hear the jingling bells of the front door sound off.
“h- hey, toji man. did i leave my . . gloves . . ?”
choso, toji’s rival and regular training partner stares at the erotic scene and his face twists.
“oh,” and he’s flustered right away.
you stop bouncing and your eyes widen as big as saucers—yet, you weren’t even embarrassed. you were in awe, you knew all about choso kamo.
the choso kamo, anyone would be crazy not too. he was the most recent up and coming boxer, and after beating toji with a brutal close score of 58-57.
as you’re reclined back against toji—you finally get a good look at the other dark haired boxer.
he was slim yet also well built, choso was known for fighting opponents with his iconic ponytails but as of currently - he started to wear his hair down. sometimes he’d pin it up, a bit of a wolf cut that flew down his broad shoulders.
as his bashful gaze met yours, he grew nervous. very nervous.
black sable hued shorts cling onto his hips whilst he was shirtless, a few past battle scars painting the entire canvas of his perfectly chiseled body. “am i . . interrupting something?”
“nah. c’mere, ‘cho,” a husky voice calls out and he pauses in his tracks. the air suddenly clouded its way with imaginary thick smoke of lust and tension. it’s so thick you could cut it with a knife.
he swallows—dragging his bare feet across the crimson red mat toward you both, ducking underneath the stretchy multicolored bars before gawking at you. he was far pretty up close once he entered the practice ring, he runs a hand behind his neck before averting his eyes away from your nude body out of respect.
“he’s always been kinda shy,” toji purrs to you, still buried deep into your cunt. you shiver, every movement he makes makes—even just sitting up makes you let off a soft noise. you chew the inside of your cheek, feeling a stickiness stick between your thighs. dark green eyes flicker at choso and he hums, tilting his head. “choso, you know how to do full nelson too, yeah?”
“y- yeah, of course i do why?”
“you’re avoiding eye contact again.”
choso gulps - burying his hands into the burrows of his shorts pockets. a sheet of sweat marinates across his forehead before he glances at toji, rephrasing. “eh, yeah i know how to do full nelson. why?”
“because,” toji smacks his lips, a hand prying its way between the valley of your legs. you moan, still feeling full from tepid hot dumps of his cum practically oozing out of your puffy slit. “we’ve got a new opponent ‘n she wants to experience what it’s really like on the ring.”
“toji, we do full nelson all the time,” choso timidly runs a bundle of fingers through his buzzed undercut, a timid smile curling against his lips. “we never usually do it um . . naked though.”
the boxer underneath you deadpans. he could be so dense, choso stands still before a small gasp wrenches out of his pink glossed lips.
“oh.. oh,” and his face turns into a flustered tint.
you’ve watched a bit of his interviews and it seemed not only was he shy with the press but he was also very shy in person. it was cute, regardless.
as you’re busy being trapped up in your own thoughts, choso can’t help but peek down toward your legs. you were all exposed and being stretched out by his rival. he sucks his teeth in longing, briefly staring away before feeling himself grow a bit . . aroused. “i feel disrespectful for looking, ‘m sorry.”
“no, it’s okay,” you murmur in coy reassurance, and a hand tugs onto his wrist. choso’s breath hitches at your touch, and you felt his dark eyes flicker back toward you. there’s this look in choso’s eyes, it’s mainly lust-driven. his pupils were blown and his heart raced, you looked so pretty. it’s not like he didn’t exactly not know you. he’d see you every so often when you were ‘training’ with toji. not only that but he’d spot you attending almost every boxing match. always in the front row with a vip lanyard. secretly, you were more of a choso fan but toji didn’t have to know that. “do you wanna touch me too?”
“yes,” he blurts out almost right away and his face flushes a deeper shade. a rumble from toji shakes his shoulders - he’s chuckling, and you feel a big arm wrap around your torso. you bite down on your lip, still feeling yourself sit in a creamy puddle of filth, warm cum still plugged into you. choso starts to pant, watching you slither a hand between your thighs, spreading your soppy pussy lips. “i mean.. oh, that’s..” and he’s barely able to think straight, watching as you toy with yourself whilst still being full of toji’s thickset cock. his head starts to spin before he inches closer, kneeling down after your cute hand gestures to come here. “a- are you sure you want me to—”
“it’s okay, go ahead.” you hum, guiding his wrist.
“choso, she’s not gonna bite ya,” toji snickers, bringing your legs back down. as of now — you were currently straddling him with your back facing his chest. choso rubs his neck once more, growing sheepish yet again. it’s adorable, but again, he’s seen you at his matches and face offs. choso being choso though was far too shy to say anything or thank you for your support. but now, maybe he could thank you in another way. toji crosses his arms, cocking his head as he glances at the scene. “atta boy.”
a scowl forms on the timid boxer as his fingers resume to brush up against your drooling cunt. “s- shut up, toji,” and you let off a moan at his gentle strokes. you continue to lie back against toji - staring at choso, ogles as two plump fingers of his partner’s play up and down against your soddened entrance. choso’s mouth starts to water the more he stares, admiring how full you were—you had a few remnants of toji’s cum oozing from your slit and he swipes it up, bedaubing it against your pussy to make it sheeny again. “f- fuck, you’re so pretty.”
“you can t- touch me more, choso,” you lightly pause his hand by grabbing his wrist. his eyes meet yours and he felt the tent in his boxers tighten. oh, he was already whipped from the sound of your voice. with half lidded smoky eyes, he huffs out a single breath before glancing at your lips. you climb off of toji and a brief pop exits your cunt - dragging choso closer. “are you hard, choso?”
“he’s definitely hard,” toji tchs, averting his jade green eyes toward his partner’s shorts. it was hard to not notice the presentable bulge that’s sticking right in front of his leather everlast brand shorts. “cute.”
“shut up man,” he repeats with a glowering scowl.
with a cute dramatic sigh, choso grumbles something under his breath - trying to pay more attention back toward you. he leans into your touch, closing the gap between your legs until he’s right between you. choso presses a chaste kiss against your collarbone before moaning into your tender skin. he couldn’t help but suck against your shoulder for a few seconds, relishing in your candied flavor.
you were so sweet - bandaged hands roam everywhere on your displayed body before he exhales deeply, staring at you with almost heart shaped pupils. “you . . wanna try full nelson with me too, princess?”
throwing your arms over him, you hum with a subtle nod. “yeah, ‘s okay. i can handle it.”
famous last words,
with choso . . he stretched you all the way out, probably even more than toji.
his cock was just as thick, maybe even more. his fat reddened tip swelters the inside of your sopping pussy so good until you’re whimpering his name on constant loop. it’s like a mantra, you’re so dumb that it’s like his five lettered name was the only thing your brain could comprehend to say.
he’s got you upright in the same exact position before, slinging two beefy arms underneath your thighs as your weight bounces and defies gravity.
“fuck, fuck,” he whines, the addictive squeeze your cunt had never failed to make itself known. he reached any and every area so deep. choso had a delicious curve to his cock that sent you straight butterflies. it expands through your walls, french kissing your insides until you whine. his base was repeatedly getting smacked from your ass, each ‘n every time you jerked up from his lap. “y- you’re so good. so warm, ‘m gonna pass out.”
“aren’t you the boxer though?” you try to tease, but your cheeky voice falters the second his slitted tip kisses against that spot.
your vision was merely blurry, seeing nothing but a kaleidoscope of stars. in almost defeat, your head falls back against his chest and toji watches the entire time, buff arms crossed and an amused cunning expression. seeing you milk his rival was something he didn’t know would turn him on so much.
choso doesn’t reply to your little jest, still pumping such fat inches inside of your gripping walls. he’s already dumb, knocked out cold with a solid punch - not necessarily from an opponent, but your pussy. “hang onto me, ‘kay? this position requires lots of um . . s- stamina.”
as you nod, your entire body dangles and bobs from the movement — parching hot friction gluing against each jolting limb before you spasm.
“chosoooo,” and your thighs collapse, coming to its pleasurable demise. his thrusts were sloppy, the squelches of your own body was so lewd. you heard it through and through, glancing down to see yourself flutter and clench around his cock. “fuck, fuck ‘m gonna get close again.”
“wait,” a gruff voice murmurs and you glance up to see toji standing over you. he cups your chin, a thumb caressing your quivering bottom lip. “such a empty mouth. hm, open for me, pretty. think you could use some throat training too.”
as choso’s still plummeting his cock into your swollen cunt - stretching you out dexterously, you part your lips open.
by your surprise, toji’s lips meets yours and he pulls you into a deep kiss. it’s a bit of a rushing kiss, sloppy and strings of saliva tangling between each mouths. you moan, feeling the weight of your breasts bounce as you’re making haste on the other boxer’s lap. fuck, you were quite literally living the dream. you whimper, feeling his broad hands grab against your tits, using thumbs to push squeeze pressure against your perky nipples. he was always so handsy, allowing his hands to wander everywhere and yanking against the remaining pathetic pieces of fabric that covered your body.
you were still layered . . partially,
his rough scarred hands slide underneath your blouse as he’s continuing to make out with you, curling his parted tongue beside your own before it turns into obscene sucking. your own tongue occasionally scrapes against his scar that located directly near the right side of his mouth - it tickles a bit—however, you whimper once choso’s dick created its own little kisses against your g-spot.
abruptly, toji who was just claiming your mouth a few seconds ago pulls away from the continued kiss to grip underneath your chin again. “ah, say ah,” and he hums at your obedience, staring at your pretty pink tongue rolling out of your mouth flat. “good, ‘m gonna train this throat a little bit for ya, sweets. that alright?”
“o- okay,” and you’re briefly cut off once he springs out his cock again, thwacking his pink pearly tip against your tongue. he lets off a gruff satisfied grunt, feeling himself harden up once you flick your tongue against his slit. you’re slow, making sure to savor his taste. he watches, smacking his lips and his left brow curls.
toji bites his lip, his abs curlings as he watches you try to suck him of fully — he smacks his cock all against your face softly, watching your needy pout before humming. “such a needy cock hungry slut,” and a thumb swipes against your lip, preparing to insert his hardened shaft down your throat. “aw, you want more, do ya?”
you nod before moaning, feeling choso kiss down your neck, yearning for your attention.
“y- you’re doing so good,” choso whines against your ear, clinging onto your jerking body. “ngh, don’t listen to toji. he’s just mean.”
toji rolls his eyes. he’d reply with a sassy remark but he was still feeling the after effects of sensitivity. his muscles were all tense and spasming from you just bouncing on him just a few minutes ago. you’re just grinding onto choso, feeling your hips ridiculously buckle and snap before he smears his cockhead against your lips like it was lipstick. his plump tip goes against your wet lips, only for him to smack it against your clean pink tongue. “mmph.” you lashes flutter, ogling as he buries a few fingers into your scalp for a good grip. toji grunts, briefly tossing his head back in rapture. his scent grows stronger as he gradually starts to sink his way into your mouth.
“t- toji, ‘m gonna cum. i can’t last,” choso babbles, facial expressions scrunching up the more you quicken your tempo on his lap. toji glances at choso who’s melting right underneath you — he’s got you in a secure hold, but it’s lazy.
one of his arms sling around your torso, another holding onto your thigh. “fuck,” he sucks against your neck, feeling the stretch increase. your walls were his own worst enemy, preparing to milk him for all of his worth. everything felt hot, his throat felt dry and he’s starting to shake right underneath you. “gonna cum, gonna c- cum.”
“not yet, ‘cho,” he grunts, watching as you lean in, adjusting your throat to his heavy size. your tongue swirls around the peeling slit and he huffs, a single hand tightening its hold against the roots that stick onto your scalp. “mhm, look at me. don’t worry about him, he’s just a crybaby,” and you can hear choso let off a scoff from behind you. toji’s sensitive cock was still dribbling a bit with a concoction of your previous juices and he groans at the image of you lapping it right up. “c’mon, little deeper. i wanna feel that slutty roof.”
whilst you’re having your mouth and cunt filled entirely—choso’s whining pitches louder and louder. so loud that it reverbs all throughout the thin walls of the empty boxing arena. thankfully, there wasn’t anyone here and it was usually closed on saturdays. he didn’t like be edged, he hated it.
but it felt good,
so fucking good.
especially due to the fact that he was so close to you, hearing your sweet whimpers follow in sync with his.
your voice made his cock twitch and from the inside, you felt it all.
every frantic spasm - you felt it, not to mention the few lightning type veins that run down the upward curve of his cock, you felt that too.
you rocked against him until your knees were at its last. he’s still holding you up but even he was about to tap out. choso had stamina - but he was no match for his rival, toji.
with murky low eyes—toji’s staring dead at you, bobbling your head and merely shoving you down just a little deeper.
you get sloppy, a puddle of drool trickling down the corners of your chin and down the valley of your chest before his tip hits against the roof of your mouth again.
it’s a rough rude hit and his cock gives the very back of your throat its own few jabs. a combo if you will — yet it’s more raunchy instead of sportsmanlike.
“eyes on me baby. yeah, yeah,” toji turns your head a bit, locking onto your sweet gaze. “get it wet, clean it up for me. make me just as much of a mess as you, girl.”
his words were so low - an almost growl. you were too focused on toji that you concisely forgot about the other boxer that’s sat underneath you.
choso came and it was so sudden—he couldn’t hold it anymore.
his grip weakens and he slouched back against the ring, spurts of hot cum pouring into you deep. he’s trembling, feeling a wave crash down on him as he’s succumbing to his high. choso can’t help but try to mimic toji, swatting the palm of his hand softly against your ass. even his spanks were respectful.
the worn out boxer pants, letting off an adorable finish. his vocals were quite loud despite having a deep bellow. “baby oh, fuuuck,” he mewls out, dark brows coming together. choso was about to lose it even more at the feeling your swiveling hips throwing itself around in a circle just because. toji watches the entire thing, how you were teasing his partner whilst having your mouth all stuffed full. as he’s stood tall before you both, his abs clench and you get a face view of it all. perfectly incised along the edges, you saw a few marks and scars coat against his skin and it’s never been more attractive. choso on the other hand found his hands grabbing onto your tits, gently brushing a thumb against your sensitive nipples before nuzzling into your neck. he was definitely pussy drunk — you could hear it. “babyyy,” a soft voice whines pussy drunkly against the lobe of your ear, and you depart your lips away from toji’s cock. he groans, viewing you lie back before you start to twitch out a bit yourself.
not only was choso close but so were you. as your legs were all stuck up in the air in its ideal position, you dramatically gasp once you feel it.
there’s a tugging pile of pressure that presses down on your tummy. your jaw drops—dangles and everything as you’re being pushed further toward the edge. your arousal steadily builds up until it finally comes.
just seconds apart from choso, you pant - a brief pang of electric shock ascending down right through you. you were speechless for a moment.
there’s nothing but a white noise blaring through each of your ears. it feels like an unpredictable wave, a powerful wave that ripples right through your entire body. it took you a long time to realize you were finishing - not only finishing but you were squirting.
“ohmygodddd,” you whimper out, feeling your legs vigorously shake. you gush out right onto the mat. feeling yourself grow hot — you’re even hotter because of choso’s body underneath you.
effortlessly, bodies stick against each other, snuggling in filthy warmth. as you’re leisurely coming to a halting stop of your rhythmic hips, choso’s cock remained tuck inside of you and you catch your breath, head cutely flopping back against his bare chest.
“did . . did you just squirt on me?” choso whimpers, a tremor in his voice.
his voice, it grew a bit raspier. although, you could still hear the softness lingering underneath it.
toji leans in toward you both, spreading your legs open just a bit more - he strums a calloused thumb down your opening, peering as you’re still fluttering out of arousal and was still sopping wet all the way from your needy clit.
“she fuckin’ did,” he coos, and he leans down, getting right on his knees.
you watch with low hooded eyes, still feeling surges of nirvana and euphoria overtake your body. toji purrs in contentment, wide open palms slapping against the foamy ring mat before sticking out his lengthy rosy tongue. you’re catching irregular heavy breaths right along with choso, full lungs preparing to collapse and give out before you pulse.
the moment toji drags his long tongue over the dampened spot of where you just made a mess—you felt yourself throb yet again.
so nasty, he had no shame at all. choso watched too, and he felt the exact same way as you did.
“what a mess,” and with another throaty chuckle leaving his lips, he cleans the mat off entirely before going between your legs. you moan, his palm gifting your cunt with a single abrupt spank. you’re so drenched that a few spurts of your slick coat onto his hand. toji stares at it, scoffing. “pussy tryin’ to talk back i see,” and he rubs his hand in a circular rotation against your cunt, maneuvering all kinds of shapes with his palm. you whimper, grabbing onto choso’s wrist. in awe, toji watches as dumps of cum ooze out of your opening and he even licks that up too, sticky black hair all unkempt and gluing against his forehead. the thin black bangs that run down his brows gives him a more alluring look and he hums, darkened eyes meeting his partner’s. “choso. don’t be a zombie. c’meree.”
you were definitely fucked—
being laid out, defeated and just stupidly stupid.
your legs sprawl outward as they’re both right between them. taking turns, flicking tongues of each against your swollen cunt. they took fighting over you to an entire new level. as they were drinking you dry — you couldn’t help but imagine the lewd thought of taking them both at the same time. you’d probably get crushed, you could barely even handle one as is, but two? that’d be an actual knockout for real.
as you’re still in a trancing daze, you watch both of the boxers with wide rounded eyes, grabbing both of them by the hair. there’s choso who’s really sweet and gentle, giving your pussy soft kitten kisses, softly brushing a thumb down your slit.
and then there’s toji . .
the clit biter - opposite of choso being the clit kisser, he doesn’t care.
with ravened brows furrowing up, he’s so rude to your pussy. every few seconds, he’d tenderly nibble against your pulsating nub, knowing that you’re sensitive there. with a smug grin, he shifts his eyes at you to stare at you dead in the face whilst he’s right between your legs. he’s messy too, moving his head from side to side, his scar swipes against your cunt every now and then.
not only was he messy but he was a hogger. he slurps you clean, luxuriating the tasteless flavor on his tongue before he hears choso cutely huff out in frustration.
“toji, you’re hogging her. ‘s no fair,” he grunts, dark eyes catching a glimpse at him from his hazy peripherals.
“cry ‘bout it,” and he spits on your cunt, hooked bump of his nose rubbing all against your slit.
already - toji’s chin was drenched, and so was choso’s. they both match with a slick of your sheeny arousal dripping down their perfectly chiseled chins. about a good hour had probably passed — then again, you were too dumb to acknowledge the time. all you knew was that you were soaked. you whimper, being nothing but a stiff shivering mess as they devoured you whole.
the numbness in your legs had your back rising up in ecstasy. you wanted more. sloshing slick tongues thrash and glissade against each other before they eventually . . tangle.
toji groans, accidentally meeting with choso’s lips and its brief. his eyelashes open and he has a sly smile at his rival. you watch the entire thing, the timid boxer versus the smug one. toji’s hand still remains on your folds and he’s multitasking, seductively licking choso’s bottom lip - still locking his gaze on him. he’s starting to taking his attention off of you. “hm, don’t tell me you wanted attention from me ‘n not her this entire time, ‘cho.”
a lump gets caught in his throat. choso grows flustered, hearing his own pulse shoot out through his ears as his lips made contact against his rival. “i—”
he’s hard, flaccid still, but definitely hard. there was a loud silence once a smack noise leaves there lips the second they each depart. choso’s got a pout, a longing pout before he tries to act tough.
“shut up, toji.” he grouses, trying to hide his embarrassment.
“how ‘bout ya make me,” and you’re just sat there dumbfounded with your legs still sprawled as if you weren’t just being fought over - invisible questions marks pop up everywhere over your head. what about you? what about you. with quick reflexes, he pins choso flat down on his back before snickering, having the most lewd back arch imaginable.
“our re-match is tonight after all, pretty boy.”
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