#and when years later you get a call from him you justify immediately leaving to work on the project as a) your entitlement to him and b)

[megafart1]

Fiddauthor doodles

*leaves this politely on the floor and scurries away*

yeah. enjoy ^_^

[fluentmoviequoter]

Christmas Magic

hot cocoa bar celebration🧤❄️🎄

requested here! & inspired by Finding Santa (2017)

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!(event planner)!reader

Summary: Your Christmas charity dinner is threatened when Santa quits at the last minute. Tim Bradford is the only person you know who is free days before Christmas, but it will take some magic to make him agree to put on the suit.

Warnings/Word Count: fluff, brief angst, quick mention of harassment, mistletoe and magic. 3.5k+ words.

I rented the center, tables with chairs are being delivered at noon, and catering arrives at 4. Got that. Santa, gifts, check, check.

You turn away from your computer to make a note about contacting the pediatrics hospital administrator. With your phone tucked between your cheek and shoulder, you’d nearly forgotten that you were supposed to be listening to James, the older gentleman playing Santa at the fundraising event you’ve been planning since September.

“I’m so sorry to cancel on you last minute,” James says.

Barely managing to catch your phone as you jerk in shock, you repeat his words in your mind. “Cancel? James, I’m sorry, did I hear that correctly?”

“Yes, ma’am, I’ve been fighting this rotator cuff for years and it finally won out on me. I know it’s last minute, but I can’t safely perform the Santa duties.”

“Okay, okay,” you mumble, pressing your forehead into your hand. “I understand, and I hope you feel better. I’m just not sure where I’m supposed to find another Santa days before the event, this close to Christmas.”

“If I hear of anybody who’s available, I’ll send ‘em your way.”

“Thanks.”

You end the call and stare at your computer screen. There is absolutely no way you can find someone – someone decent, at least – to play Santa Clause in three days. The event is on December 23rd, Christmas Eve-Eve, and it was hard enough to book James so close to Christmas Day.

“Oh, I’m gonna need a Christmas miracle,” you whisper as you reach for your mug.

A bell jingles outside, and you close your eyes. If only an angel capable of playing Santa were getting its wings.

“Are you okay?” your assistant, Holly, asks from the doorway.

“Not even a little bit,” you answer with a stressed smile. “We need a new Santa.”

“In less than a week?” she exclaims, setting a stack of papers on your desk. “How are you going to do that?”

“I have no idea. I could do open auditions, but then we’re just going to get all of the crazy people desperate for a Christmas gig in here, and I can’t sort through applications or anything with everything else going on,” you ramble before taking a breath. “Any chance you have a cousin, brother, dad, or a neighbor without a criminal record who could help me out?”

“My folks are traveling for the holidays and all of my neighbors are girls. Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. We just… we have to think of something. Preferably by the end of today.”

“If anyone can pull together some Christmas magic it’s you,” Holly assures. “I’ll go make some calls and let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help.”

“Thanks, Hols.”

As she leaves, you open your phone and scroll through your contacts. Each name makes you a little more discouraged. Most of them are busy with families, out of town, completely unqualified, or you haven’t spoken to them in so long that you can’t justify asking for something like this, even if it is for the kids.

“It’s all I want for Christmas,” you whisper as you near the end of your list.

One name jumps out at you, but you hesitate to contact him. He might have to work or be coming off of a hectic holiday shift on the 23rd. But you’re running out of options, so you text Tim Bradford to ask if he’s free. The phone rings a moment later, and you answer immediately.

“No, don’t- Chen!” Tim scolds.

“Uh, hello?” you greet.

“Hi!” a woman replies. “My name is Lucy Chen, I’m Tim’s rookie. You asked if he was free on the 23rd and I’m calling to say that he absolutely is.”

“Good, good,” you reply, chewing your bottom lip. “I actually have a really big – huge – favor to ask him, so maybe I’ll call him back later.”

“What is it?” Tim asks.

“Uhm,” you hum, trying to find the right words. “I need someone to play Santa at the charity event for the Children’s Hospital Los Angeles and UCLA’s pediatric department.”

“I… can’t,” Tim says after a moment.

“He means he won’t,” Lucy adds.

Your shoulders drop as you murmur, “Okay. Bye.”

After you hang up, you realize that Tim Bradford is your only chance. If he really won't do it, you either have to put a woman in the Santa suit and hope for the best or disappoint every child and parent in attendance by announcing at the last minute that Santa can’t make it. You’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, but at least the diner down the street has good hot chocolate that will help you get your mind off it for a few minutes. You wave at Holly on your way out, then try to think of exciting, merry, and bright things rather than the coming disappointment as you walk to your favorite diner. As you enter, you notice three men sitting in the booth closest to the door, but they’re the kind of men you know you wouldn’t invite to be in the same room with wealthy women or children, let alone both at the same time.

“Robbery in progress at Vicksen’s Diner,” dispatch alerts. “Callers report three armed men, and one is blocking the main entrance.”

“7-Adam-19 responding, code 3,” Tim radios before hitting the lights and sirens.

“Vixen’s Diner?” Lucy repeats. “They must really like Christmas.”

“V-i-c-k-s-e-n,” Tim corrects. “It’s the last name, the family has owned the place for decades. The call you intercepted earlier?”

“What about her?”

“She’s probably there. It’s her favorite place and they have Christmas specials right now.”

“How do you know that?”

“Focus, Chen,” Tim snaps as he turns the sirens off. “We’re approaching the rear exit without a sound, understood? Our priority is to get these people safe, then and only then do we go after the robbers.”

“Yes, sir,” Lucy agrees.

“I don’t have any more cash,” the owner explains again. “It’s the twenty-first century, genius, most of our business is card or tap-to-pay.”

“And it’s Christmas,” you add from your booth. “Just go.”

“Not until I get something!” the man screams.

“How about a one-way trip to jail?” someone adds. “We already called the police.”

“Then pay up or they’ll have a body,” one of the other robbers says, turning their gun toward the customer.

Someone clicks their tongue, and you look over to see Tim Bradford and who you assume to be Lucy Chen standing behind the counter.

“LAPD,” Tim says. “Weapons down, hands up, or your Christmas is going to be even worse.”

The man closest to the counter tightens his grip on his gun, then curses and drops it as he raises his hands.

“I recommend you follow his lead,” Lucy tells the man beside you.

“Open the door,” Tim dares the final man. “My partner out there would love to lay you out.”

All three men surrender, and you watch Tim as he cuffs and zip-ties them while his rookie calls for backup.

“You said you had a partner out there!” the men complain.

“I lied,” Tim says as he stands. “You should know what it’s like.”

Three more patrol cars park outside, and officers take the would-be thieves out of the diner as Lucy checks on the owner and the other patrons. When Tim walks to your table, you lean back and look at him.

“I really need your help,” you explain. “It’s one night and you’d get paid.”

“It’s not about the money,” Tim replies. “Are you okay?”

“Then what is it about?” you press. “We both know you’re great with your nephews even if you hate to admit it. It’s only a few hours of asking kids what they want for Christmas, a few pictures, and then- then I’ll buy you dinner, whatever you want.”

“Why are you asking so close to the event?”

“Because I already had a Santa, but he tore his rotator cuff and backed out on me at the last minute. You know I wouldn’t ask something like this unless I really needed it.”

Tim nods, though he’s wondering why he is the one you’ve chosen to show your persistence and desperation to. Surely, you know other men capable of wearing an uncomfortable polyester suit and saying ho, ho, ho.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Tim points out. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. One of them pushed me out of the way, but-“

Tim moves closer to you and bends to look into your eyes. His gaze moves over your face before catching on the slightly red area against the side of your neck.

“You sure?” he whispers.

You nod and smile before you push past him to exit the booth. “I have to get back to work and find a Santa or break hundreds of hearts. Be safe, Tim.”

Tim watches you walk toward the door, and Lucy’s eyes widen as she gestures wildly toward you.

“I’ll do it,” Tim calls. He tells himself it’s because you’re so persistent and seem stressed, but deep down, he knows there is more to it than that.

“You don’t have to,” you say as you face him. “Don’t do something that’s going to make you miserable just because I need help.”

“I’ll do it,” he repeats. “Text me the details?”

“How ‘bout I just pick you up on the 23rd? Around noon?” you reply.

“Sure.”

“Thank you, Tim,” you say with your hand on the door. “You’ll never know how much this means to everyone… to me.”

Tim nods as you leave to return to work, and Lucy claps silently.

“Get in the shop, boot,” he demands.

“You look nice,” you compliment when Tim opens his door the morning of the event. “The red suits you.”

Tim swallows as he looks at you and says, “You don’t have to butter me up, I already said yes.”

“I’m just calling it how I see it,” you assure him.

“I thought this thing didn’t start until 4,” Tim muses as he locks his door and follows you to the car.

“It doesn’t, but we have to get the Santa suit fitted. If you want to leave after and come back at 3, you can take my car.”

Tim shrugs and buckles his seat belt. When you turn the radio to a Christmas station, Tim immediately switches it to a football show. Your jaw drops as you turn toward him.

“You don’t like Christmas music?” you ask incredulously.

“I just don’t think it’s okay to give someone 23 birds,” he explains.

“My car,” you argue when he reaches for the control.

“My Santa debut,” he replies.

You give up and back out of his driveway with an exaggerated scoff.

“Why do you want me to be Santa anyway? I get that you had to ask people you know but I’m clearly not jolly enough.”

“Why is that?” you inquire. “I can understand not loving the music or the commercialism. The rest of it, though, that’s what I don’t get.”

“Just… don’t love the holidays. Reminds me of the things I don’t have anymore, I guess.”

Glancing at Tim, you wonder what it feels like to be someone’s for the holidays. Yes, it’s hard to be jolly when you miss someone, but for a moment, you wonder what it would be like to listen to carolers and decorate the tree while being in love.

“What’s this event like?” Tim asks, pulling you from your thoughts. “Been working on it long?”

“Since September,” you answer. “It’s geared toward the kids, but we have to do something to get the parents in too, so there’s raffles, a silent auction, dinner, and an area where they can sit with each other while someone else watches their kids.”

“So, it’s for donors?”

“At first,” you explain. “The donors are welcome to come anytime between 4 and 7. Then, we make everything absolutely perfect and bring in the kids from the hospitals at 8. They get more time with Santa, more gifts and games and treats. I know we have to raise a lot of money, but it’s not worth it if the kids don’t get to have fun with it too.”

“You’re really good at this,” Tim compliments, looking at you. “I didn’t know how much you put into all of this.”

“Now you regret saying no at first, huh?” you tease.

“That depends on how good the cookies are.”

“Then why are you so nervous?” you ask as you pull into the event center’s parking lot.

“I’m not-“

“It’s hidden well, but it’s there, Tim. You know you’re good with kids, so don’t let the size of this get to you.”

“I’ll try.”

“And if you get overwhelmed, Santa can always take a cookie break. I’ll be around if you need anything.”

You wish Tim luck as you drop him off with the wardrobe designer you hired, then begin transforming the space into a winter wonderland.

“Are you okay?” Holly asks as you finish constructing the games for the children from the hospital.

“I came to ask the same,” Santa says from behind you.

You turn quickly and smile at the sight of Tim in the suit. His beard has been set aside while he takes a break, but something about seeing him this way feels right.

“I’m fine,” you assure them. “Rich people are hard to please, I’m used to it.”

“Nobody should get used to people screaming in their face because the caviar is room temperature,” Holly argues.

“Is that what it was about?” Tim asks with a humorless laugh.

“He got over it. I actually saw him eating the caviar later,” you say. “Besides, this is the part of the night I’m here for.”

“You’re an excellent Santa,” Holly tells Tim. “The kids went on and on about you.”

“Told you,” you sing song.

“Do I give gifts to every kid?” Tim asks you.

“Yes, give them as many as you want because we have more. The red candy cane paper is more girly gifts, blue snowflake paper is for boys, and the gingerbread paper is gender neutral,” you list. “The elves also have a list of what we have, so if a kid asks for something specific, someone can check for you.”

“You should’ve been a cop,” Tim muses. “I wish my boot could keep things this streamlined.”

“You need to get back to the Northpole,” Holly says, glancing at her watch. “Not that this isn’t adorable.”

“Tim,” you call as he walks away. “Thank you.”

“It’s the only thing you’re getting for Christmas!” he replies.

Holly smiles as she moves to your side, and you glare at her.

“A gorgeous man wrapped in a Santa suit,” she muses. “You got every girl’s dream gift.”

“He isn’t mine,” you remind her.

“Christmas seems like the perfect time to change that.”

“Excuse me?” a young girl asks.

“Hello,” you greet, smiling as you squat beside her. “What’s your name?”

“Sally,” she answers. “Will you go with me to see Santa?”

“Of course!” You offer your hand and lead Sally through the crowds of happy children and grateful parents to get in line to see Santa. “What are you asking for this year?”

“I want a Hug-Wave,” she says softly, wrapping both her hands around yours.

“What’s that?”

“It’s twin stuffed animals, and when you hug one, it sends a hug to the other. I want to give my brother one so I can send him hugs when I have to stay in the hospital. He’s coming to see me on Christmas, but I miss him.”

Your eyes tear up, and you smile at Sally as you move forward in line. “I’m sure Santa will bring you one,” you assure her. “Look, we’re next!”

“You’ll stay with me?”

“Of course, Sally.”

As you walk onto the red carpet platform, Tim looks at you before looking at Sally. You mouth her name, and Tim calls, “Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas, Sally!”

“You know my name?” she asks softly, stopping beside his knees.

“Santa knows all of the good boys’ and girls’ names, and you, Sally, are on my nice list!”

“Do you want to sit on his lap?” you ask Sally.

She nods but keeps her hand firmly in yours. You move to Tim’s side as he pulls her onto his leg and blink to get the tears out of your eyes as Sally tells Santa about the hugging stuffed animal she wants to stay close to her brother.

“I think you and your brother would love that, Sally,” Tim says. “I’ll tell my elves about your wish, and we’ll work on that.”

“Thank you, Santa,” Sally says before pulling her hand from yours and hugging Tim.

You wipe your face before taking Sally’s hand and leading her to pin the nose on Rudolph, where she plays with kids like she didn’t just tug your heartstrings. Turning to check on everything, you notice that the Santa chair is empty, and the elves are entertaining the children in line. Less than a minute later, Tim returns and continues to visit children and parents alike.

“Psst!” someone calls.

You furrow your brows as you turn, and when you see Lucy, your eyes widen in shock.

“Santa asked me to bring you this,” she whispers as she slips a large gift bag through the door. “Care to be an elf for me?”

“Thank you,” you tell her. “I’ll take it to him now.”

“It looks amazing in here!”

“You’re welcome to stay, Lucy.”

You walk toward the North Pole area and tap an elf’s shoulder to take the gift to Tim. He excuses himself after the last child and walks to your side with the bag in his hand.

“Where’s Sally?” he whispers in your ear.

You look up at him and feel your tears building again as you say, “Tim–”

“I’m Santa tonight.”

You locate Sally sitting at a table with her parents and brother and eating a cupcake. Following behind Tim, you press your hand over your mouth as he kneels beside her and offers the bag. Her parents look at one another in shock as she removes the bears from the bag, then mouth their gratitude to Tim. Sally passes her brother a bear, and they begin hugging them to hug one another, and you decide this is the Christmas miracle you hoped to see.

Tim exits the small dressing room in the back hallway and doesn’t see you before you wrap your arms around his neck to hug him.

“Thank you,” you whisper against his neck. “For being Santa and for giving Sally the gift.”

Tim tightens his arms around your waist before you pull back. “It’s the least I could do,” he deflects with a shrug.

“No, it isn’t,” you insist. “I talked to Sally’s parents. They can barely afford gas to go back and forth to work and the hospital right now because one of them has to stay with her full-time because of her treatment. That’s why her brother can’t visit much.”

“Is she…”

“The doctors are hopeful that her current treatment is working,” you assure him. “They’re expecting to send her home sometime in the spring if she continues improving. Tim, you made their entire year.”

“You deserve some of that credit.”

“You pulled off a Christmas miracle, it’s all yours.”

“Does that mean you’ll tell me why you chose to ask me to be Santa?” Tim asks with a smile. His hands are still on your waist, but you’re dreading the moment when he steps back.

“Because I knew you could do it,” you answer. “You’re the only person I know that is kind and generous, selfless without letting people know it, and even if you get mad at me for saying it, you are kind and a big softie. You’re special, Tim Bradford, and a gentleman, and the closest thing I’ve seen to magical in a very long time. That’s why I asked and kept asking.”

“Well, you’re the closest thing I’ve seen to Mrs. Claus… ever,” he replies lightly.

“Without the time to bake and ‘Mrs.’ you mean.”

Tim shakes his head and asks, “Who helped you decorate?”

“Holly, mostly. Why?”

Lifting his chin, Tim gestures to the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling.

“It’s tradition,” you begin.

“You don’t have to convince me,” Tim interrupts.

He moves a hand from your waist to your cheek and kisses you. It feels like fireworks, warm hot chocolate, and every good and magical thing you can think of all at once. You move your hands to Tim’s jaw and move together, then pull back to thank him again.

“Thank you for calling Lucy and getting Sally’s gift here so quickly.”

Tim’s brow pinches as he says, “I didn’t call Lucy. I thought you got the gift here for her?”

You shake your head, then ask, “Well if you didn’t order it, and I didn’t order it, which Santa asked Lucy to bring it?”

Tim hesitates before he says, “It couldn’t…”

“There you are!” Holly calls as she enters the hallway. “I could not find this entrance, geez. Oh, hey, mistletoe!”

“You didn’t put this up?” you ask her.

“Me? No, I don’t even know where to buy mistletoe. That made me sound so single.”

You look at Tim, who smiles and whispers, “Christmas magic,” as he leans in again.

[amyelevenn]

post-race blues

PAIRING; Lando Norris x reader

SUMMARY; Lando's DNF deserves lots of love and comfort from his partner.

WARNINGS; none, fluff - reader may have violent feelings towards Max...

A/N; Austrian GP result made me sad, it wasn't even his fault!! bless his soul (guys pls I love Max with my whole heart, no Max hate here)

just a fluffy little blurb after the race!

0.7k words masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・✧・✫・゜・。.

.・。.・゜✭・✧・✫・゜・。.

You didn’t even have to see him to know that he would be devastated.

Devastated by how such a good weekend turned into his first DNF of the season, leaving him heartbroken in its wake.

You hated seeing him do poorly.

Not because you would love him less, or that it was ‘embarrassing’ for you as his wag, but because you knew Lando; you knew how hard he was on himself. You knew that since Miami and with how well McLaren had been performing this year, second place or a podium finish wasn’t good enough for him or the team anymore. He had the skill and resources to be fighting Max for wins, so why stop with a silver medal?

You hated how quickly the cameras panned to you when the duo collided. All that the media wanted was some kind of reaction that they could milk the hell out of, dragging it out for races to come. You tried your best to stay calm, praying and praying for the cameras to finally turn around, go back to recording whatever they were before.

It wasn’t a serious crash, no permanent damage to either car. It wasn’t much consolation, but it was better than sitting here wondering if Lando was even alive. It wasn’t serious, so why were you as worried as you were?

You weaved through the crowds as best you could, getting back to his driver room before he had enough time by himself to ruin any remaining self-confidence that he had. Even the idea of him sitting alone, frustrated and emotional, made you want to slap Max across the face for ruining the decent weekend he had.

You had met Max a couple times. you didn’t know him well, but you knew well enough he would never take the blame for what he would call ‘hard racing.’

You hadn’t even realised how quickly your body had gotten you to the McLaren garage, mind clearly racing a million miles a minute, until a shout from the other side of Lando’s driver-room door told you to bugger off.

You tried the handle, but to no avail. He had locked himself inside.

“Lan, it’s me,” you say, voice so quiet you weren’t even sure that he could hear you.

You hear him sigh, and a thump that you can only imagine is his head against the other side of the door. “I want to be alone right now, please.”

“I understand that love, but now is not the best time to be alone. Your emotions are running high, and you won’t be thinking clearly. Please, Lan, let me in.”

A moment passes in silence. Then another.

A click, and the door opens slightly. You slide yourself inside, and he shuts and locks the door behind him.

“Hi,” you breathe out, immediately pulling him into a warm embrace. “Post-race blues got you down, huh?”

“I was doing so well.” His hold on you tightens, and you rub his back in an effort to provide some comfort to him.

“I know, honey, I know,” your soothing voice relaxes his strained body, pulling him gently onto his makeshift bed. He nods solemnly, burying his face into the warmth of your neck. Your heart aches at the sight of him so distraught.

You feel him take a couple deep breaths, struggling to put his words into sentences. “He just- I don’t-… it was so reckless of him–”

You move to cup his face with your hands, telling him, “Lan, you don’t need to justify anything to me. Relax, it’s okay; you’re okay. We can talk about this later, when adrenaline isn’t running so high, yeah?”

Peppering kisses all over his face, you see him trying to fight the smile breaking out. Ending with a kiss on his lips, you savour the salty sweetness as you pull away. His smile widens a little as you use your thumb to smooth out the frown lines on his forehead, muttering on about how he is ‘always frowning,’ and that he ‘won’t look good when he is 50 and all gross and wrinkly.’ He laughs, and the sound is music to your ears.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, placing his head on your shoulder. “Thank you for being here for me. I love you.”

“Always,” you reply, lightly combing through your fingers through his hair, cherishing the peace and quiet, the tranquillity of your relationship. “I love you more than you could ever know, Lan.”

.・。.・゜✭・✧・✫・゜・。.

as always, feedback is appreciated!

[arcaneconfessions]

I’ll tell you why I dislike Caitlyn more than Ambessa or Silco, it’s because of the character’s subjective morality. By her own morals, Ambessa is doing what she thinks is right, her Noxian upbringing is a reason about why she feels so strongly about mages (they betray that war makes everyone equal hence they are a threat that must be taken out) and why she thinks softness is nothing but a weakness. Her worldview is shaped by the brutalities of war that she’s constantly exposed to (and engages in) which makes her this incredibly ruthless and cut throat character.

Silco is all about the “base violence necessary for change”, his convictions are shown when he invited Vander to join him DESPITE the brutal attempted drowning because he’s motivated by the “greater good”- for Zaun, he emerged a stronger resilient man after the violence done to him. He’s willing to give up shimmer and himself for the sake of Zaun’s freedom (but not Jinx). What I’m getting at is this: you can’t look at people’s actions in isolation because their environment shapes their morality and decisions, Ambessa because she was born in Noxus, Silco is like this because he was born in Zaun, I’m not justifying them but explaining how distorted their worldview is because of their environment, they don’t exist in a vacuum where they do evil things despite knowing better because it’s shown that they are trying to do good.

Cait is different because she was given everything from breathable air, to a safe place to sleep at night, food and even the ability to choose her own path regardless of her parents disapproval- the kids in Zaun are forced to work and steal to survive. HER PRIVILEGES ARENT HER FAULT AT ALL. In s1 we see that despite having it all, she wants things on her own merit and tries to help despite not needing to. She has an incredibly strong moral centre with deep conviction. Like Vi says “she believes what she’s saying” when she disagrees with Ekko saying that enforcers hunt them like animals and she even backs it up- ex reassessing her opinion of Zaun, willing to give up her rifle within that “dangerous place” to save Vi, embracing a shimmer addict (those branded monsters) simply because he was hurting, using her connections to help Vi etc.  She tells Ekko to give up the gemstone instead of using it to kill Silco because of the cycle of violence, and I believe her since she showed that she isn’t ignoring his pain but giving him better hopes than bloody revenge. 

S2 shows me i was wrong to like the sheltered, sorta prejudiced but kindhearted girl who always strives to be better because her morals are paper thin and just for show. She has direct knowledge of how bad the grey is because Cassandra documents it- shown in the hellfire music video and the fact that Viktor (her brother’s friend) is dying from it even years later. Yet she still uses it on the streets. Gas spreads obviously and chembarons use child labour in their factories (thanks Jayce)- there’s no way to stop third party effects of the grey. Imagine how bad it must be for Zaunites, who breathe in the air that even trees cannot survive in, immediately suffocate and tear up with their eyes turning red?  She controls their right to breathe and she immediately uses it against them, all the while calling them animals knowing the truth. 

She insists that she wouldn’t have missed her shot (ignoring the fact that she DID just miss her shot when she had a clear go at Jinx’s head and went for her middle finger AND that the hextech weapons were glitching out) and used that as justification for being prejudiced against Vi (“I keep telling myself you are different but you are not, it’s her blood in your veins”) and hitting her where she was stabbed- after taking a calming breath, leaving her and not even looking for her afterward. 

And again she ignores the fact that Isha would have been harmed either by being that close to an exploding head (which she knows because she tells Vi to get out the way) or being killed alongside Jinx because their heads were aligned- Vi was not wrong to call her out in the slightest. 

She knows the things she’s been told about Zaun are wrong, that they need healing and understanding rather than condemnation but so quickly switches back- using othering language and prejudice, literally calling them animals and Vi one of the good ones until Vi doesn’t do as she wants then saying that she’s no different. 

btw she has full right to hate jinx, not saying that she needs to be the bigger person (even if she says that to ekko) but there is NO justification for taking that out on Zaun knowing what she knows or Vi for telling the truth.

So yeah both Ambessa and Silco don’t have the luxury of a kind life, they were both shaped by the brutal realities of their environment and that turns them into brutal people. These guys are villains who do awful things, I hold them at different standards because 1) their role in the story and 2) at the very least they are doing what they think is best rather than knowing better and being evil despite it all. Caitlyn knows better, she has seen Zaun firsthand and has the luxury of having a good life and the ability to recognise that privilege and that allows for a stable moral compass and world view. Jinx is not justification for the grey on Zaun’s streets, or hitting Vi for telling the truth- she knows better and doesn’t care. Even then she gives up because she didn’t have the energy to hate herself for doing these things, not because she got her head out of her ass and saw the impact of what she’s doing. It’s to do with her emotions.

.

[scarisd3ad]

Trouble

Chapter - one (trouble on my left, trouble on my right)

Pairing(s) - stu macher x reader, billy loomis x reader

Next

Summary - ‘trouble on my left, trouble on my right I’ve been facing trouble almost all my life.’

(A/N) - I know its early June, and I promised this by late may, but got real busy.

Warnings - mentions of murder, mentions of blood, regular scream warnings, infidelity, cursing, violent language

Masterlist

Taglist

I leaned myself against my counter as I listened to Stu and Billy go on, and on about killing Casey Becker, my next-door neighbor, and Stu's ex-girlfriend.

"So, what's the plan again?" I ask.

Both boys turn their heads towards me. "We break in and kill'er duh," Stu says, rolling his eyes. He was a complete idiot. I don't even know why I like him sometimes. "We need a plan, dumbass. You're gonna get your ass locked up if we do that," I say with an eye roll. Billy stands up from his spot and walks over to me. He wraps an arm around my waist. "I'm gonna call, mess with her a bit. You're gonna be hiding in the house, and Stu will be outside. Stu will kill Steve, and you try to get her outside for Stu," he explains, pressing a kiss to my cheek. "What're you gonna do?" I ask as I wiggle out of his grip. "I already told you I'm doing the calling. " I roll my eyes, walk over to Stu, and plop myself into his lap. Stu has a grin on his face as he wraps his arms around my waist. Stu was the clingier one out of the two boys, and I didn't hate it. 

Stu presses kisses to my neck as I say, "Why do we have to do all the hard work?" Billy rolls his eyes; he's fed up with the two of us already. "I'll do the hard work next time with Sid, alright?" I nod with a smile. I turn towards Stu, press my lips to his, and wrap my arms around his neck. Stu always immediately goes all in, with tongue and everything.

Billy groans. "Can you guys not do that shit?" I roll my eyes as I pull away from Stu. "you can join in Billy" Stu says with a laugh. Billy shakes his head. "gotta date with Sid. I'll see you guys later," Billy says, pressing a kiss to my lips and smacking Stu in the back of the head. Once my front door slams shut, Stu's lips are immediately on mine. I kiss him back, but only for a few seconds before I push him away.

He looks like I had just kicked his puppy. His brows furrowed and his head cocked to the side. "So, when are we doin' this shit?" I ask, arms wrapping around his neck affectionately. "tomorrow" he replies before immediately pressing his lips back to mine.

When Billy and Stu had first proposed the idea of going on a killing spree, I was absolutely against it. Hell, I thought they were fucking crazy and really questioned why I was sneaking around with the two assholes, but when they brought up the fact that they were planning on killing both of their girlfriends, I was in. 

I have been secretly seeing Stu since the beginning of the school year. It all began with a drunken kiss, which then led to us sneaking around behind his girlfriend's back. Eventually, I found myself completely in love with him. About 2 months ago, Billy joined us. He caught us together one night at Stu's house, and since then we've formed a very unusual and insane trio.

Most would think I was absolutely insane to go to the lengths of killing the girlfriends of the two men I was sneaking around with, and well so do I. Sometimes I feel like I'm crazy for hating Tatum and Sid, but at the same time, I can justify it. I've fallen so in love with Billy and Stu, that I've just hung onto the idea that I'd have them all to myself once they were gone. By now, I crave the day I get to slaughter both of them bitches. I hate having to go behind everyone's backs. I hate having to pretend I like both of them. I hate that our relations stay in the confines of Billy, Stu, and I's houses while Sid and Tatum get them everywhere.

I pull away panting before saying, "You leaving too?" he chuckles softly, probably hearing the saltiness in my voice. "Nah rather say here with you" I giggle as he presses his lips to mine once again. 

-

Wednesday is excruciating, as always. I almost have a perfect schedule now, be friendly with Tatum and Sid, go to English class, make out with Stu in the back seat of his car during math class, go to Spanish class, make out with Stu under the bleachers in the gym, go to gym class, have lunch outside with Billy Stu, randy, Tatum, and Sid, make out with Stu, leave early with Stu and Billy during 7th period so no one sees us. I'm surprised no one has caught on to our affair, seeing that Stu always wants to make out with someone, and if it's not me (which it usually is), it's Tatum.

Tatum presses herself against the locker next to mine. I can't say I hate Tatum, cause she's a nice girl, and so is Sid. if we were in any other situation, we'd be not only friends but best friends, but I can't like her. I can't bring myself to look at her without envisioning myself killing her in the near future. "Hey," I mutter as I pull my English notebook out of my locker.

"Casey said she saw Stu and Billy at your house... what did you guys do?" I can hear a hint of jealousy in her voice as she says it. I stared at her for a few seconds as I conjured up a lie. "They were hanging out with my brother. I think they might have watched some movies or something. "It wasn't a terrible lie. Billy and Stu did hang out with my brother Austin often. it was just that this specific weekend Austin was out with his girlfriend, so I had to make sure to get to Austin before Tatum did. "Oh..." she nods before turning around and walking off.

When Tatum is out of sight, I immediately bolt toward Austin's locker. Luckily, he's there, sorting through the items inside to find the ones he needs for his first period. "What?" he asks as he turns his towards me, pushing his hair back as he does so. "If Tatum asks, can you say you were hanging out with Billy and Stu this weekend?" his brows furrow before a grin erupts onto his face. "Why?" I roll my eyes, already knowing what he was thinking. "Because I had them over this weekend, and I don't want her knowing they were hanging out with me. "Somehow his smirk grows wider, "Why? Are you still fucking her boyfriend?" I let out a little groan as I rolled my eyes. "Shut up, please Austin?"

He lets out a begrudging sigh before mumbling a quiet "Fine but you owe me" I smile, "Thanks Austin!" I say before walking away. The only reason Austin knows anything about Stu and I is because he had accidentally walked in on Stu and I a few months back. It took two entire weeks of convincing to get Austin to keep our secret. 

-

Stu, Billy, and I sneak off of campus at around 2:30, and we make it to my house at around three. A few weeks ago, I convinced my brother to stay with his girlfriend today, and my parents were out on a business trip, so we had the house to ourselves as we got ready for tonight.

We're up in my room just talking. We weren't going to go into action until at least 9:30, so we had some time to kill. Stu and I were lying on my bed, with his arm wrapped around me, while Billy sat in the swivel chair I had. Stu's head occasionally dipped down into the crevice of my neck to press kisses. "Tatum asked about you being over here yesterday, said Casey told her," I say, as Stu sucks a chunk of my skin into his mouth. He hums against my neck as Billy asks, "What'd you say?"

"Said you were hanging out with Austin," I say, leaning into Stu's body. "Made sure Austin would say the same, too." Stu nods against my skin, muttering "good" against my skin. "So, you got the shit we need to use?" I ask as I push Stu away from me so that the already developing hickey won't get any darker or bigger than it already is. I wasn't there when Billy and Stu killed Sid's mom. I was clueless as to what they were doing. They waited until well after the funeral to ask me to join them. "Yeah, got it in that duffle bag I brought in, got the knives and the costumes," he says as he leans back in the chair.

I sigh, crossing my arms over my chest as I watch Billy spin around in the chair, in an unusual act of childlike behavior. Stu's left-hand travels to my hip as he leans in and presses a kiss to my lips. I roll my eyes as he goes in for another. If I had to choose one of us to say is the absolute horniest, it would be Stu. Stu wasn't only fucking me, but he was also doing Tatum at the same time. It's like all he thought about was having a tight hole for his dick. Unlike Billy, who was only fucking around with me, and not Sid because Sid hasn't felt like it since her mom died. "God, can you guys stay off of each other for one second?" Billy says, rolling his eyes.

Stu and I pull apart, and he grins. "You're just jealous," Stu says with a laugh as he tries pulling me in for another kiss. I oblige, but only press my lips against his for less than a second before pulling away and throwing my legs over the side of my bed, so they dangled off the side. I pushed myself back up to my feet before walking over to Billy, who sat in my swivel chair, making sure to strut over as sexily as I could. I straddle Billy and trail kisses up his neck, starting down towards his collarbone. Once I make it to his ear, I whisper "You coulda just asked we woulda let you join Bill" he tries his best to roll his eyes and mutter "Don't call me that" under his breath but before I know it, he's got both his hands pressed tightly against my cheeks in a bruising grip and his tongue shoved in my mouth. 

"Holy shit," Stu whispers, with a light chuckle as Billy and I pull apart. Both of us are panting, and his hands are still pressing tightly against my cheeks. Billy grins as my cheeks heat up. "A-anyway....what are we supposed to do after we....y'know, kill her?" I ask. I'm still hesitant about killing Casey. she didn't do anything to me, we were practically best friends growing up. Casey was just so that everyone in town would be weary. So that we had a better chance of getting everyone we needed at our party. Safety's better in numbers. She was the opening kill, a kill that would make everyone stop and stare. That kill could have been anyone, but Stu decided to sign Casey and her new boyfriend Steve up for it because he was still bitter about how Casey broke up with him.

"I'm goin' to Sid's. so, I can have an alibi you two can do whatever the hell you guys want." if Stu decided to leave too, I'd be the main suspect, there'd be no one to vouch for me because we needed the house empty for us to execute our plan. I swing my legs over and my body around so I'm now facing Stu. "You up to stayin' here tonight, Stu?" I ask, a faux innocent grin on my face. He matches mine with a similar yet less innocent-like grin. "Fuck yeah."

Billy reaches around tapping my thigh before whispering, "Need to go downstairs, get the bag so we can get ready, babe. " I nod as he presses a kiss to my cheek. I get up and trot back over to my bed as Billy exits my room. I sit on my bed, sliding the ring that sat on my middle finger on and off anxiously. I didn't know if I was ready, or if I wanted to take part in the murder of Casey, anyway. I had hyped myself up for Sid and Tatum's, but Casey's? I tried my best to put that one to the side. I awaited Sid's and Tatum's deaths like it was my birthday. I craved the feeling of the knife between my hands as I plunged the knife in and out of their bodies. but Caseys, I awaited it like the first day of school after Christmas break, my hand jittered for the last 3 days as I thought about it and I just wished more days would appear between the day I was on, and the day I was supposed to help kill Casey. I just wanted it to be over.

"You, okay?" Stu asks, scooting towards me. "I Dunno if I'm ready. " His eyes roll as he places his left hand on my thigh, rubbing small circles into the supple skin with his thumb. "you're fucking ready." he says, for the past month or so they've been helping me 'practice'. they showed me the right way to hold the knife and then helped me practice 'stabbing' a pillow. So logically I'd be ready, but I still can't push away the guilty feeling that sat in my chest. I shrug "I Dunno, I-I'm just scared" he laughs loudly, throwing his head back in amusement. I furrow my eyebrows, a pout forming on my lips. His laughter dies down into just a little smirk as he leans in, pressing his lips to mine. "Don't be scared. I'll be with you the whole time," he says, pulling away. He shrugs. "and besides, you're not even killin' her. You just gotta scare her."

Billy bursts into the room, a large black duffle bag in one hand. He takes a seat back in the chair before unzipping it and pulling one large knife. The blade glistens in the light as he turns it, showing it off. My mouth is gaping open, staring at the freshly sharpened blade. All of my anxieties instantly wash away as I take the knife in my hand. "Nice, isn't it?" he smirks as my pointer finger lightly brushes over the sharp tip. suddenly I'm ready, it's like all the worry that was just filling my mind was instantly wiped away, and all I could think about was how nice the knife felt in my hands.

Taglist

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[marstonsboy]

i still won't forgive john for saying '' he's becoming too soft '' to jack likeeee . . . .

i love john but i feel like i’m warranted in wanting to strangle him sometimes.

like, he gets better. we know he does. he isn’t perfect by any means but he DOES start trying and he becomes a pretty good dad all things considered. but i will stand by the fact that jack has every right to be a little resentful towards him. he walked out on him and his mom, at least twice by the way (once when jack was born, and again when he went after micah even though abigail begged him not to), and was pretty cold to jack for a good chunk of his childhood.

there’s even a camp interaction that you can get in (i think) the clemens point chapter where jack says something like “come on, play, pa!” and john’s immediate reaction to his four-year-old son asking him to play is to turn around and go “what did you call me?”

and yes, later in chapter 6 you can find them actually playing together just like jack wanted to earlier. he realizes he fucked up and he tries to do better, and i love his character development. this doesn’t mean i’ll absolve him of this treatment of jack, however. that kind of shit sticks with you, even if you’re as young as jack was.

sixteen-year-old jack holds some resentment towards john for leaving and is afraid he’ll do it again. from twelve years old (at the very least) jack was calling john “sir” off and on instead of pa, and i’m sure part of that is because of john’s reaction to being called pa when he was younger and still in that stage of refusing to believe jack could be his.

some of these may be low honor specific, i’m not certain, but i know nineteen-year-old jack also has lines that make this resentment more obvious , like: “blame my parents, i do”, “i had a bad role model”, “i guess i am my father’s son”, and “when you meet my pa in hell, tell him i say ‘hi’!” he does love john, that much is obvious, but it’s complicated when he also hates him— again, for justifiable reasons. it’s that exact sort of complicated relationship you have with parents who messed you up, and it makes me so SAD.

[dufferpuffer]

It is true that many characters demonstrated inherited prejudices towards werewolves and Snape wouldn’t be too different - but I do find it a bit disappointing for people to think that systematically stalking someone with the intention of ousting them is a knee-jerk reaction coming from a generalised societal prejudice. Maybe it’s trying to over justify and defend Snape’s actions, which to me were more motivated by his hatred of the Marauders, and later, fear and trauma of being exposed to a transformed werewolf?

We can bring up Molly, but we can also bring up people like Hermione, Harry, and Dean Thomas. Hermione worked out his secret and didn’t feel the need to freak out and expose him. Dean Thomas leaned later he had been taught by a werewolf and quickly and unprompted jumped to defend him in front of Umbridge. Harry immediately felt sympathy when confronted with the reality of Lupin’s condition, even when exposed to its scary and dangerous side. Even Ron, who had what I’d call a knee-jerk reaction, got over himself pretty quickly.

It’s just a bit wet to be like “well everyone was shit about it, so Snape is forgiven for being shit about it”. Not everyone was shit about it.

Does it make Snape look better to think that most students would be outraged to find out there’s a werewolf amongst them? I like to think some students, if they worked out, much like Harry and Hermione would see the person first and not get super weird about it.

I think you are severely underestimating the level of bigotry the Wizarding World has against werewolves - as well as the social climate at the time the Marauders were at school.

What you suggests breaks Remus' character in terms of the choices he makes, the sheer weight of his friends keeping his secret, Dumbledores actions to support him (and the implications of Severus' unwilling but dedicated silence for 18 years)... and are missing the point of why SPECIFICALLY Harry, Hermione and Dean are the ones most defensive and supportive of Remus.

It's not me trying to justify Severus' actions. I don't need to justify Severus, he can be a petty little ass. (Though the trust breaking of him finding out Dumbledore is protecting a werewolf makes the "fuck yall 'good guys' I'm going all in on rebuilding wizarding society" element of his character enriched.)

It's me spending WAY too long combing through the books to intricately understand REMUS' situation. It's for HIM - not Severus.

This is all SUPER fresh in my mind because I'm working on a part 7 of a massive, huge, too-big Lycanthropy meta, so uh... I went nuts:

+ Harry, Hermione and Dean were ALL raised by Muggles. No shit they are more accepting and sympathetic, especially when their first interaction with a werewolf is their lovely teacher. They have no cultural point of reference. It wasn't random to make Dean Thomas, of any side-character, stand up for Remus. Not Neville, not Seamus, not Lavender, not the Patil sisters.

Even then - + Hermione felt conflicted in keeping his secret but gave him the benefit of the doubt. Evidently, though, she had read how awful werewolves are and just didn't want to believe it. "he wants you dead too -- he's a werewolf!" "If I'd been a bit cleverer, I'd have told everyone what you are!"

+ Ron reacted with immediate revulsion towards Remus. "Get away from me, werewolf!" He didn't call him Professor, or Lupin, or even just leave it at 'get away from me'... he see's him as an animal. And he only got over it when Remus spent ages explaining himself, his past, his intentions - and proved his rat was a 33yr old man.

+ Harry is one of VERY FEW characters that actually treats Remus as a human being. Who else... Arthur, Albus, Tonks - possibly Dean... + Hermione directly compares his situation to that of House-Elves and says 'Wizards think themselves better than other creatures'. Remus is a Wizard, not a different Being, Beast or Part-Human - he is just disabled. She often accidentally does the exact things she wants to fight against: not listening to the voices of House-Elves and 'othering' werewolves as not-quite-human. “But you are normal!” said Harry fiercely. “You’ve just got a — a problem —” Even Remus' friends weren't as good as Harry is: + James is flippant with the fact Remus was a werewolf, even when Remus asked him to be careful - and his entire theme is that Harry is a better man than him. + Sirius treated Remus as a point of interest, wishing it was the Full Moon so he didn't have to be bored - regardless of how painful it is for Remus to endure - and at the first sign of there being a mole suspected Remus without proof. + Peter stood with James and Sirius in ignoring Remus' concerns, even when James and Sirius were more openly nasty to him.

+ "...out of bounds, at night, consorting with a werewolf and a murderer..." Snape says to the Minister of Magic, about equal weighting put on 'Murderer' and 'Werewolf'. Even though that 'Werewolf' was Harry's teacher, the fact Harry KEPT consorting with him after finding out he was a werewolf is whats damning. And the Minister just nods his head, agreeing.

+ "I’ve made her an outcast! ... You have only ever seen me amongst the Order, or under Dumbledore’s protection at Hogwarts! You don’t know how most of the Wizarding world sees creatures like me! When they know of my affliction, they can barely talk to me!" Remus wasn't being hyperbolic here. It's all true. Tonks IS an outcast now - she had to run from the Ministry. Wizarding society utterly detests werewolves.

+ Even as a little boy his parents had to move house every few months when their neighbours started to notice Remus not being allowed to play with other kids, getting ill on the Full Moons. There was no sympathy even for a 5yr old if he was a 5yr old werewolf. Remus grew up having to run away at the first sign of suspicion. It's sorta shocking how relentless it is in the books - I'm doing a meta on Lycanthropy, here's Part 2 where I go through how society seems to act and how Remus feels

'Does it make Snape look better to think that most students would be outraged to find out there’s a werewolf amongst them?' Better...? He is just correct. It makes him look NORMAL. It makes him look petty and irresponsible, really, that he didn't go to teachers first. But he was a 15/16yr old used to not getting any help. + Even LILY treated accusing Remus of Lycanthropy as a deathly serious accusation. It was terrible and ridiculous to even think of. "I know your theory,” said Lily, and she sounded cold.

Why do you think that more than a small handful of students would not act with prejudice if Remus was exposed as a werewolf...? Even if students and staff stood beside Remus, as they had known him for years - why that would matter in the face of Parents, General Society and Ministry persecution?

Especially during the dawn of the First Wizarding War???

Fenrir Greyback, the most savage werewolf alive, was biting CHILDREN to amass an army in the Death Eaters service. Death Eaters were on the rise, getting more violent. Secretive - nobody knew who they were, where they had infiltrated. Casting the Dark mark over peoples houses when they had killed their families. Getting Giants to kill more Muggles than in any point in history. Armies of inferi - dead family, friends and muggles they murdered being reanimated to fight the living... One of them, one of Greybacks children - is in HOGWARTS. One of the safest places in the Wizarding World is compromised. That's how it would be seen! That's essentially how it was seen even 13 years later - being outed to the public destroyed Remus.

...We, as readers, know more about werewolves than general Wizarding society does. Especially Wizarding children who only get some lessons on how dangerous they are and how to kill them.

+ If you listen to Pottermore, which fair enough if you don't - there are books published such as Prof. Emerett Picardy's 'Lupine Lawlessness: Why Lycanthropes Don't Deserve to Live', which state things such as 'werewolves permanently lack moral sense'. Misinformation is rampant. Murdering werewolves is acceptable. When werewolf-sympathetic books are published its done so with anonymous authors because they fear backlash.

You might 'like to think that students who found out wouldn't get super weirded out by it'. But I just don't think that's realistic. And even if there was a massive Hogwarts-wide cultural shift in the perception of werewolves just because Remus was 'a pretty nice lad' - it would mean little. We SEE it meaning little: Everyone likes Remus as a teacher and it meant jack shit. Werewolves were in a worse position socially, not a better one, after Remus was a teacher.

[katzkinder]

Today, the official servamp account made a tweet in celebration of Otogiri’s birthday on the 28th of September! Her favorite food is soba and she does karate for a hobby!

Under the cut I have some headcanons of my own for her, so please enjoy!

This one is my favorite and it’s that whenever Sakuya needs to have a teacher meet with his guardian she goes along with Tsubaki and they act super annoying to embarrass him lol. Like she dotes on him and calls him goofy pet names and pinches his cheek. On the occasions where he’s in trouble for something Team M view as justified, though, she puts on a face of “our perfect little angle? No, never, you must be mistaken”

This is still somewhat humiliating to Sakuya. She loves teasing him in her own way. Makes her miss Johannes.

Speaking of Johannes as kids he used to cut the hair off her dolls or tear their heads off. It’s fine she’d tie him to a tree with her jump rope and leave him there.

Karate was actually a hobby she picked up as a child for self defense purposes. She continues with it because it’s good to help her destress, especially when doing her forms. Something about the rhythm of them helps her clear her mind

She writes fan fiction and will die if anyone finds her ao3 account

I headcanon her, personally, as wlw (not sure what flavor though. Just in general) A major part of this is because she’s the only female member of the cast you can gift chocolate to during the valentine’s event at TanakaBox! I’ll put a link to the event translation in a reblog later

Because she’s so busty, she has a fair bit of problems buying bras she likes that don’t cost an arm and a leg. Living with Tsubaki and working for him means money is no object, of course, but it’s the principle of it. Belkia surprises her once with a custom replica of Madonna’s cone bra corset in bedazzled hot pink. She needed to take several moments.

She did in fact try the whole thing on for him. She felt ridiculous. She also loved how silly the whole affair was. Far too often people get weird about the size of her chest and it makes her so uncomfortable, but with team M… It’s just another body part. She can relax around them

Speaking of people being weird about her body, this is a headcanon Yarra told me that I loved so much I adopted it immediately. She used to go out late at night into seedier parts of Tokyo trying to find men who would start trying to feel her up or force the issue after she rejected their advances, so that she could kill them without feeling guilty, using them as proxies for the doctor who assaulted her. This was not actually a healthy way to cope.

She wants to do a soba tour. Just go around the country trying all different types of soba. One day she wishes to be able to boast she’s had every soba from every restaurant in japan. For now she’s working her way through Tokyo. She’s a subclass so she has all the time in the world to do it.

The entire hotel is (was) outfitted with her strings. They kind of acted as an early warning system. It’s a strange kind of magic that doesn’t seem to have much limits in the way of distance so long as the space she’s in is enclosed.

During holiday seasons, especially Halloween, Christmas, or New Years, these become places for decorations to be hung.

She truly cherishes everything Tsubaki has done for her. The one regret she has about being a subclass is that she had to kill herself for the chance to meet so many wonderful people. She thinks if she’d had anything remotely close to this while human, she would have found the strength to keep living.

They’re her family. Someday, she hopes Hansel can also be part of it again.

[mockerycrow]

Sugar (Gaz x GN!Reader)

masterlist

Summary: You’re a civilian and you’re across the world from where Kyle is on a mission. It’s late at night when you get the phone call you’ve been waiting weeks for.

A/N: The title is from the song “Sugar - BROCKHAMPTON”. Gaz needs more stand-alone fics. I’m here to provide.

[WARNINGS: short fic, slight angst, fluff.]

It’s been quite a few months since you’ve last seen your boyfriend, Kyle Garrick. It’s to be expected as he’s in the military, but that doesn’t stop you from missing him any less. Goodbyes between you two always tended to be bittersweet—full of gentle kisses and whispers of “see you later”s even if they weren’t guaranteed to be true. You usually get a call or two whenever he’s on a mission if he can. You don’t exactly expect a call because you know he’s busy doing something important; of course you don’t get the details. All you know is that it’s important enough for all communication to be occasionally cut. Sometimes Kyle doesn’t even have his phone for weeks, so you sit there by your window sill, staring off into the night sky and praying that he’s okay.

Tonight, you lay in your bed in your underwear and a loose t-shirt—Kyle’s, of course—and you’ve tossing and turning all night. A light sheet matching your comforter lays across your legs and partially your stomach. It’s a luke-warm summer night and it brings such a nostalgic, yet sad feeling. On nights like these, you’d find yourself crawling into Kyle’s arms, his body radiating just enough heat to be comfortable. His sleepy, low voice would let out a cute little “hm?” when you press your head into the crook of his neck. You can hear his chuckle as he would rub a hand up and down your back soothingly, accepting all of your tiny habits. You can’t help but tear up at the memory. You never know when that memory will never be repeated again, right?

You glance over at Kyle’s side of the bed and you sniffle as you roll over onto his side, transferring your head from your warm pillow to his cold one—which you desperately wished was warm. You pull the sheet with you and you curl up on your side, glancing at the digital clock on his nightstand, it’s red letters blaring 3:49 am at you. You sigh and rest your head comfortably against his pillow again, listening to the natural silence of the house. You hear a creek of the foundation shifting every once in a while, the springs of the mattress every time you move yourself. Your hand drifts to your neck and grabs at the necklace—a gold chained necklace with a locket in the middle, a picture of you and Kyle with your dog that passed away about half a year ago. With Kyle gone, you wanted a companion to keep you company; but soon that one left this world, leaving you alone in a quiet house that only awakens when you do.

You can feel the exhaustion pulling at you, begging you to close your eyes and sleep for the night, but you force yourself to stay awake. ‘Just in case he calls,’ you try to justify it, but you haven’t gotten a call in a month, nearly a month and a half. Your heart burns every time you think about it as you can only come to one solution—one you know isn’t true because Kyle is strong, he’s resourceful, he has his teammates. Honestly, the only reason you know he isn’t dead is because Captain Price hasn’t come to your door to tell you.

You don’t originally notice that you’re falling asleep until your phone blaring a familiar ringtone wakes you up, your heart jumping out of your throat as you jolt. A startled noise leaves you as you breathe hard to gain your bearings and when you realize it—it’s Kyle’s ringtone—you immediately sit up and scramble back to your side of the bed, practically ripping the charger out of your phone and seeing Kyle<3 is calling… at the top of the screen. Without a second thought and with a wide smile on your face, you lay back onto the pillow and you swipe to answer the call you press the phone against your head and it’s like all of the weight is lifted off of your shoulders.

“Hey, sweetheart.. Did I wake you?”

You breathe out a heavy sigh of relief and shake your head, not caring that he can’t see it. “No,” You immediately say. “I was already awake.”

Kyle chuckles, murmuring, “Staying up for my call, I see?”

You return a quiet and soft laugh, turning your head to partially look out the window. “Maaaybe..” You pause for a moment, your smile faltering ever so slightly. “I miss you.” Kyle doesn’t miss a beat. “I miss you too, dove. More than anything.” You can’t help the blush that rises to your cheeks, your free hand coming up and clutching the locket. “How is it going? Your mission, I mean.” You borderline whisper, but you never have to ask. He always tells you what he can, but you just want to hear his voice instead of listening to old videos or voicemails for a change. Kyle hums excitedly, a slight crunch coming over the phone—he must be eating. “It’s been good! Price said we should be nearly done now. Last home stretch.”

You shuffle properly back onto your pillow, plugging your phone into the charger, and laying the phone on the bed. You click the speaker button and lay your head down. “You there, [Name]?” Kyle asks, nearly concerned.

“Mhm, just putting you on speaker..”

Kyle doesn’t say anything for a moment, but when he does, his voice is damn near vulnerable. “You don’t know how excited I am to come home to you, sweetheart. It’s been a gruelin’ mission..”

You put your hand near your phone instinctively, as if you could comfort him physically through the phone. “I wish I could help you, Kyle.” You whisper softly into the phone, your heart tightening at the thought of his distress. He takes care of you in so many ways and you want to return the favor “You know what? When you come home, Kyle, give me a heads up. I’ll make us some dinner, we can play a bunch of games, anything you want. How about it?”

He laughs softly, like his ugly mood has been lightened. “Yeah? You wanna?”

“Of course I want to,” You answer without a doubt. “You work hard, Kyle. Too hard. We need to spend time together and you need to get taken care of. Two birds with one stone.”

You nearly think you can hear Kyle tearing up, his voice cracking ever so slightly. “Okay.. Okay, dove. Yeah, we can do that.”

[buddhamethods]

10 BL Characters I Want Carnally

AKA I'm just a person with two keen eyes and dubious morals when it comes to enjoying media so don't take it seriously, I'm here for a good time.

Thank you @sndrys for tagging me! This was an eye opening experience putting this together. As it turns out I might have a type (ew).

1) Guy from Bake Me Please (2023)

The sole reason for me creating this list! Look, I dropped Bake Me Please almost immediately because it just wasn't for me BUT I've been lowkey watching through my dash. And let me tell you, my fingers gain consciousness and hit reblog everytime this baby's face pops up because...well...LOOK AT HIM. He is beautiful and he should get the guy (hehe get it) in the end idc.

2) Yok from Not Me (2021)

Yok is such a beloved character and for good reason! He is sexy, he is gay, he sets buildings on fire and steals cops' wallets on accident because HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT GUY HE WAS STALKING WAS A COP??? I love you Yok, never change.

3) Palm from Never Let Me Go/ OurSkyy2 (2022-23)

The anger I felt for all the injustice and mistreatment our beautiful Palm had to face in this show took literal years off my life. It's rare for me to get this passionately protective over a character and yet here we are, in the Palm Protection Squad headquarters. Even Nueng is on the watchlist!

4) Tonhon from Tonhon Chonlatee (2020)

Not to out myself as an enjoyer of silly goofy times , but I did have fun watching Fish Upon The Sky and Secret Crush On You, so OFCOURSE I thought I would like this one too but GOD was it rough. Did I still finish it? Yes. Did I fawn over PoddKhao pairing and have been quietly praying for some kind of reunion ever since? Also yes. Was I foaming at the mouth barking everytime Tonhon AKA Podd was on my screen? I'm not gonna comment without lawyer present.

5) Tew from My Dear Gangster Oppa (2023)

Speaking of Tonhon Chonlatee...AH! Ai Long Nhai (TC's spiritual prequel of sorts) was sure...something. And by something I mean I saw Meen and decided I will never speak ill of men ever again, feminism quite literally left my body. And then a year later My Dear Gangster Oppa came out and guess what??! MEEN IS THE GANGSTER OPPA! Dreams really do come true, kids.

6) Wen from Moonlight Chicken (2023)

(or Tian from ATOATS or Mueang Nan fron FUTS). Mix...I will eat you. Always so dewy and healthy and sparkly-eyed. But Wen from Moonlight Chicken is something out of the realm of my imagination. The sex appeal? The maturity?? The gentleness??!! Somebody sedate me before I say something I will not be able to justify in court.

7) Vee from Love Mechanics (2022)

He is a pretty bisexual who makes the most abhorrent stupid decisions known to men and then weeps and suffers for them WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED? Once again, is the show flawless or even remotely coherent? Absolutely not. That being said Vee brought me so much joy by being stupid I'm forever grateful.

(also YinWar are so back GO WATCH JACK AND JOKER TRAILER)

8) Prapai from Love In The Air (2022)

To a certain extent I've enjoyed every MAME show I've watched. To do that you need to possess the rare ability called "I abandoned every shred of moral integrity to gawk at hot men". And Prapai? MAN is this bitch hot. Tall dark handsome? Check! Bisexual on a bike? Check! Stubborn and annoying? CHECK!

9) Xiang Hao Ting from HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (2019)

*incoherent wailing and sobbing* IM NOT EXPLAINING SHIT ABOUT HIM LEAVE ME ALONE

10) AlanJeff from Pit Babe (2023)

My newest obsession! I refuse to separate our local senior citizen and his favorite prophetic mechanic. Both of them are hot as shit in their own way. Alan is a sexy dilf with so much weight and responsibility on his shoulders it's a miracle he retained his optimism and youthful awkwardness. And Jeff is a prickly baby-cow-baby-deer eyed baby that is so touch starved it's actually a little funny. SO I GUESS ALANJEFF SANDWICH IT IS.

(don't be shy tag yourselves besties <3)

[adhd-merlin]

merlin S1 rewatch: episode 10 ⚔

how could I not love the tale of the weird misfit who returns home one day, bringing with him an even weirder assortment of friends, to teach everyone how to fight back against the oppressors who have been stealing their resources?

but enough about a bug’s life. let's talk about the episode.

• I see Hunith throwing herself at a bandit and I immediately go “oh that’s where he gets it from”. I love you Hunith, you mad gal <3

• Hunith’s audience with the king is interesting – not just because she’s pleading with the man who would kill her son without a second thought if he knew about his magic, and she goes so far as to call him “a good king” and “a caring man” while doing so, but also because Uther seems genuinely sympathetic, even if unwilling to intervene. I think that says something about Uther – I think in the eyes of the people who don’t care much about sorcerers and their ilk, Uther is a decent, perhaps even a good, king. Certainly not the tyrant that Merlin and Morgana consider him to be (justifiably so).

• “I wish that Camelot was able to help people regardless of how far away they lived”, Arthur says, almost as if there were a prophecy about a united Albion under his reign

• “I want to make him pay for what he did to you” -> when Merlin sees Kanen is ON SIGHT. I love protective Merlin.

• I love this so much. “Most powerful sorcerer on Earth” well to his mama he’s just a little boy. have you considered that

• Merlin almost decapitating Arthur lol. It’s a good thing Arthur has good reflexes or this would’ve have been a much shorter story

• YAY! A NEW KILL

• When Arthur ruins Merlin and Will’s little reunion and Will is immediately unimpressed

• “Am I the only one wondering who the hell this is?” > Will really interrupted Arthur’s speech to loudly ask “excuse you who the fuck are you??” and I love him for it

• The fact that Merlin just straight up slept on the floor. Like I get it, they are poor, but you’re telling me he had nothing all the years he lived there? not even a straw mattress, nothing?? because that sounds kind of weird. I mean alright, I’ll accept it, but I think it’s weird. I think if you had to sleep on the ground every night for years you’d try to make yourself a bit comfortable even if you never “knew any different”

• Anyway, I guess that explains why Merlin was reluctant to part with his bed when Alice moved in with him and Gaius. “I’m not going back to sleeping on the floor thank you! I love beds now”

• MERLIN: “Life’s simple out here (...)” / ARTHUR: “Sounds… nice” / MERLIN: “You’d hate it” -> I like that Arthur was trying really hard not to say anything rude about Merlin’s old life, and that Merlin was like “it’s alright you can say it sucks”, because really he wasn’t cut out for that kind of life either. It’s also funny that Arthur later tells Gwen he fantasies about being a farmer, like SIR BE REAL. You'd hate it.

• Arthur pretending to eat Hunith’s food. Making fake noises like a toddler. Spoiled brat behaviour

• WILL: Why did you leave? / MERLIN: It wasn't what I wanted. My mother was worried. When she found out you knew, she was so angry. → it sounds like Will actually didn’t know about Merlin’s secret for very long before Merlin had to leave. And the fact that Will has to ask Merlin why he left implies Merlin did it without even a goodbye or a made-up excuse. Merlin’s departure being apparently so rushed because Hunith feared for his safety means that the attitude towards magic in Ealdor isn't actually very different from Camelot’s, despite it not being officially outlawed.

• Arthur is a good leader!! and in this episode he shows it in big ways, like in his “Battle of St. Crispin speech” moment, but also in more subtle ways, like when he notices during training that Matthew is a hopeless fighter, and instead of dismissing him he takes him aside and goes “Matthew my friend I have a special task for you :)”, as a way of keeping him away from the fight while still making him feel useful, and without hurting his pride. (Sadly, this backfires later.) I know the fandom likes to joke about Arthur being a dumbass but he can be very perceptive (at times). And he is good at strategic thinking.

• No comment. Just Gwen and Morgana sharing blankets. They are very good pals.

• Merlin telling Arthur: “We're going to make Kanen rue the day he ever came to this village” hits different when I remember he said he wanted to make Kanen pay for striking his mother

• “In this circle, we're all equals” → a circle is very much like a round table in this way

• I love moments like Arthur’s Rousing Speech™ – because they show why he is the one destined to unite Albion. He’s capable of inspiring people and gaining the support of those who initially disliked him (Merlin, Gwaine, Will himself, to name a few), because he is noble of heart, and brave, and caring, etc. And yeah, he’s also a brat at times, but to be fair to him he’s 21. And he has a shit father.

• “Food is scarce for these people, you shouldn't turn your nose up at it!” → Gwen is no shrinking violet okay!! She will lecture the prince, if the prince is being a brat. I’m thinking about Arthur telling Agravaine “I don't want a queen who spends her days floating around the castle agreeing with my every word” in ep 4x09. He loves Gwen because she’s not afraid of calling him out! (same goes for Merlin)

• GWEN: “I have faith in you. I mean. We all do” / ARTHUR:

• Arthur helping Merlin with his armour is a very sweet moment. I can’t believe Merlin was about to tell Arthur he had magic here. HE LITERALLY WAS ABOUT TO TELL HIM I'LL NEVER BE OVER IT

• Battle. Battle. Another kill for baby Merlin (!).

• IT FUCKEN WIMDY

• I’m not entirely sure what the windstorm did to be honest, it didn’t seem to kill anyone it just… scared the bandits away? Anyway, that doesn’t matter. Willing suspension of disbelief and all that.

• Arthur’s face when he marched up to Merlin and Will like “THAT WAS MAGIC WHO DID THAT?? IT WAS ONE OF YOU TWO”. This man is NOT ready for the truth (and yet Merlin was prepared to confess AGAIN. He was literally about to do it I HATE THIS SHOW)

• (sigh) well how convenient

• LISTEN I know Will was pretty much dead anyway but I can’t get over how NOBODY tried to do anything for him like?? They just put him on a table? And stared at him? Not even trying to do anything or. I don’t know, offer a word of comfort. If I were Will I’d be offended to be honest.

• Will’s last words being “Merlin, I’m scared.” EVIL

Merlin: *watching his best friend’s body burn on the pyre* Arthur: well when were you going to tell me he was a sorcerer

• Hunith: POWERFUL WARLOCK? NO HE IS BABY

• "When the time is right, the truth will be known. Until then, you must keep your talents hidden. It's better for everyone.” → kind of funny how Hunith went from "you should tell Arthur, he'll understand, he cares about you :)" to "never mind, BACK IN THE CLOSET!!" And by funny I mean tragic.

↳ prev commentaries

[kolbietheaggrievedwriter]

And to go back to one of my favourite works, Atris Cloudbarrow + someone else... I'm not sure who she would chat with! Maybe Elliot if you want a prompt or a surprise character is also accepted :P and "are you sure you want to do that?"

This is canon ;3 It takes place when they're kids.

-

"Are you sure you want to do that?"

Elliot whirls around to glare at the dumb girl who gets to steal Niren away for hours at a time every time she shows up - with the grown-up's permission, even. Nothing at all like Elliot, the unwanted bastard who has to either wait until his father deigns to take him along on a visit to the king or a good opportunity to sneak away, the latter of which is getting harder and harder to do as the maids and guards watching him learn to counter all his tricks. It's never that easy.

…It's not her fault, though. Elliot's not like any of his so-called family. He won't get angry and take it out on the wrong people. That's stupid, and Elliot isn't stupid. Niren thinks he's smart and fast and strong (and pretty), and aside from his mom, he's the best person Elliot knows. He can't be wrong, so all that must be true. Elliot doesn't ever want to make it not true, so shifts his glare to the ground.

"Niren said I could visit him," Elliot justifies himself stubbornly. A beat later, he realizes he's only supposed to call him by name when the two of them are alone and frowns in frustration at the mistake. He looks back up when she doesn't immediately call him out on it.

The girl - Atris, he thinks - smiles kindly at him, not seeming the least bit affected by Elliot's initial hostility. "He's sick. They're not letting anyone see him."

He knows that. That's why he has to go see Niren right away. Everyone Elliot's ever known who got sick died soon after. Tucked away in his mother's arms in their cold, leaky shack of a home, he could hear them howl in pain for hours and hours on end. The abrupt silence afterward was somehow always worse, though. It was always horrific. When the guards came to get the body, they would burn their house down just so no one else went in it and got sick, too.

Niren is the prince. He's nothing like the lowly commoners inhabiting the slums of the city Elliot had grown up in, who were weak and filthy and starving and unable to afford even the weakest healer's services. He's probably getting treated personally by the High Priestess of the church, and he's got hundreds of servants looking after him night and day.

Still. Elliot's got this restless feeling inside, an urgent burning need to see Niren with his own eyes and make sure he's not suffering. That he's being taken care of, that it's not worse than he's been told. That he's not going to suddenly disappear and leave Elliot, too, like every friend he ever made before, everyone he's ever dared to care about besides his mom.

Elliot doesn't say any of that aloud. Wouldn't know how to, ten years old and only a single year into actual schooling. It's too big and complicated for even him to really understand. But Atris must be able to tell some of it anyway because she looks at him the same way his mom did every time he realized he recognized the agonized screams ringing out through the night.

"I'm scared, too," she admits softly.

She glances around, like she's checking for prying eyes, and it's only then that Elliot notices she's alone. Like Niren, she's an important noble, so she's never actually unsupervised. They're always accompanied by a guard or a servant. Yet here she is, without either, outside the castle and beneath the window of the infirmary where Niren is supposedly resting. Why did she come here?

It dawns on Elliot like the slap of a ruler against the back of his hand when gets some dumb noble rule wrong. He points at her accusingly and shouts, "You were planning to sneak in to see him, too!"

Caught red handed, instead of looking embarrassed, Atris puts her hands on her hips and raises her chin imperiously. "So what? I'm his fiancé."

To that smug declaration, Elliot can only sputter incoherently. He gets over his indignation quickly enough, though, and they hatch a plan to sneak in together.

Later, sitting at Niren's feet on either side of him on the huge fluffy bed where he's recuperating, they tell him this story, and he laughs so loud, it alerts the guards outside.

[bytheangell]

A Little Observation

(Read on AO3, written for @malecdiscordserver's By The Angel Bingo prompt: Lorenzo POV)

Lorenzo watches the crowd - it's something he always does, making sure he’s constantly aware of his surroundings just in case there's some lingering threat he needs to notice sooner rather than later. He is powerful, after all... and he's also made enemies out of a few people who, as far as he's concerned, deserve it without question. It's through this constant observation that - even with his attention lingering longer than usual on a blonde, curly-haired Shadowhunter - Lorenzo finds his gaze landing just as often on Clary Fray.

It isn't difficult - she stands out in a crowd with that fiery red hair, the gaze of onlookers following her wherever she goes. Some of that may be in part because eyes also seem to follow her boyfriend Jace Herondale around just as often. Perhaps tonight it’s simply because she's such good friends with the happy couple and always seems to be with someone of importance.

Except... it's more than that. The longer Lorenzo watches her, the more he picks up on the way her smiles grow more forced with each interaction she has. Her posture stiffens. She cuts her words short, swallowing hard. Lorenzo knows someone who's saying goodbye when he sees it - he's both done it, as well as been on the receiving end, enough times to know.

He almost doesn't say anything. He almost just allows her to turn and leave without another word, but something in him pushes his feet in her direction, stopping her on the steps outside the Institute before she can vanish into the night.

"Clarissa," Lorenzo says, calling out to get her attention.

Clary slows, but doesn't come to a full stop until he's caught up with her, reaching out to put a hand on her shoulder. She stops, hesitating before turning around. He was right about the fact that she's upset - the fresh tear tracks that bring mascara trailing down her cheeks are evidence of that.

"Clarissa, what's wrong?" Lorenzo asks. His concern is immediate and genuine, as much a surprise to himself as it is to Clary who looks up at him with wide, untrusting eyes.

"I've seen you all night," Lorenzo goes on. "Something's obviously wrong. Don't tell me no one else noticed."

Clary sniffles and shrugs. "The others are a little preoccupied with, you know, the wedding and all."

Lorenzo frowns. "Well, I'm simply here as a courtesy so you'll find no distraction here. Tell me, Miss Fray. What's so wrong that you're fleeing a wedding nearly in tears?"

"I-" Clary starts, looking around. "Actually, you may be the perfect person to tell." Lorenzo wonders if he's gotten himself into something he doesn't want to be part of. Always a risk when it comes to things involving the Shadowhunters, he finds. Honestly, it's a miracle that Magnus keeps up with it - that he enjoys his time with Alexander enough to justify tying himself to the Shadowhunters for the rest of Alexander's mortal life, at the very least.

"What is it you think I can help with?" Lorenzo asks carefully, making sure not to imply he would or would not actually help, or even that he can.

"I have... I messed up, Lorenzo. I abused my powers and I... the Angels are taking them away," Clary finally says, the words coming out in a rush.

"How so?" Lorenzo questions.

He knows the history behind Clarissa Fray's family lineage, and the particular conditions that brought her into this world from her mother's mundane hiding place. He's aware that the power Clary holds is stronger, different than the other Nephilim. Outside of de-runing, which is an act of man not of angels, Lorenzo has never in all his years heard of the Angels themselves taking a Nephilim's abilities away.

"They're taking it away. Everything. My runes are disappearing. And when they're gone, I don't know what's going to happen to me." Clary's voice waivers, the tears welling up anew in her eyes before she can blink them away. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I don't regret it," she adds quickly. "But... if I give you messages to give to the others, do you think you could pass them along? I wrote something for Jace, but I didn't have time to write letter for them all. I'm not even sure I have enough time to tell you the things I want to..."

There's the briefest pause before Clarissa adds one last, final plea. "Please?"

Lorenzo takes a deep breath then nods. "Tell me what you need to, Miss Fray, and I will do what I can with it."

Clarissa doesn't waste any time. She starts talking immediately, sharing small messages she wants to give to Magnus and Alexander, to her vampire friend Simon, to Isabelle and Maia. Clary is in the middle of speaking about Maia when her words start to slow. She stops speaking, looks confused for a moment, then looks up at Lorenzo with confusion in her eyes.

"I'm sorry... what was I saying? Or better yet, who are you?"

Oh.

Lorenzo thought that, perhaps, Clary was simply giving him these messages because she planned on vanishing into the night, never to return to their world, but as a choice over losing her powers. He didn't consider that she would lose her memories, her knowledge of this world, along with her runes. He knew the Angels could be cruel, but cruel enough to remove it all from the girl who sacrificed everything to save their world?

"A friend," Lorenzo replies carefully, placing a calming, easy smile on his face. "We were just walking home."

"Oh. Yeah, right," Clary agrees. Lorenzo isn't sure if she's just playing along or if she really believes him, old memories being replaced with a new reality.

"We can walk and talk. You were telling me about how you were going back to art school," Lorenzo adds smoothly. He knows he doesn't have to. He could simply turn and go back into the Institute, to the wedding reception and the adorable blonde who awaits him, but it doesn't feel... right. He supposes that Magnus isn't the only person who's been changed by the events of the past few months. For better or worse, Lorenzo can't say quite yet. But he can say that he's a little kinder, a little more intentional, as of late.

He knows that it doesn't benefit him at all to do this, but he knows what Magnus would do in this situation - what Magnus would want Lorenzo to do, considering he's the one here with Clarissa right now. It's Magnus' day, after all. He can consider this a wedding gift.

Lorenzo is going to take Clary to one of his extra apartments, one that no one else knows about. He'll leave her with the key, with wards for her safety, and then he'll go back and tell the others. He isn't about to take care of her, but he can leave her somewhere safe.

Lorenzo knows that he looks down on the Nephilim, but this seems so unbelievably cruel, even for them.

"Let's get you home," Lorenzo repeats.

[daydreamerdrew]

I’m going to explain what the star symbolism in “The Electric Ghost” is for the sake of revisiting that storyline because it totally took over my brain when I read it a year ago:

So, Bucky assassinated Tesla Tarasova’s father when she was a child:

Winter Soldier (2012) #16

But it was really significant to her that her father purposely moved in front of the window so that he would get shot:

Winter Soldier (2012) #19

And in the years that followed, as Tesla was raised in a Red Room-like institution to create soldiers called the Orphanage, and then into her adulthood, it was Bucky, symbolized through the red star on his metal arm, that stayed on her mind, and not her father:

Winter Soldier (2012) #18

For more context for that final panel of dead spiders with a red sun visible behind them, Tesla’s mother was a Widow agent from the Red Room, and that combined with Tesla’s father being a genius was why she was sought to make a weapon of.

Bucky filling the places of Tesla’s parents in her mind frames Bucky as replacing them as her primary creator. The memory of him is what actually stayed with Tesla as her companion and guide (North Star) throughout her life.

As an adult Tesla worked to ‘recruit’ other children for institutions like the one she was raised at, taking on the role Bucky had in her life in theirs. And she didn’t just justify this, but thought positively of it, because after their training “No one would hurt them again”:

Winter Soldier (2012) #18

But Tesla didn’t think positively of Father Hammer, the man who ordered Bucky to kill her father and ran the Orphanage. She was dismissive after he said, “All I have done, I have done to spare you from a life spent in the grip of sentimentality and fear. To gift you that liberty not even death can grant- freedom from regret.” And she killed him after telling him, “You’ve given me nothing.”

Also note how when Hammer refers to the Winter Soldier that immediately evokes Bucky’s face, clear as day, in her mind, though she already said she forgot her father’s:

Winter Soldier (2012) #18

Tesla is grateful to Bucky. She surprises him by not wanting to kill him. And what she says to him is very reminiscent to me of what Hammer told her. Tesla tells Bucky that she is able to “live without fear” and “live without limit,” and that if he hadn’t killed her father, “Certainly I would not be here. On the verge of limitless potential”:

Winter Soldier (2012) #18

Coming back to the star symbolism, Tesla says, of her father and his death, “Such a brightly burning star- turned inward on itself.” But she says this as she’s looking at the star on Bucky’s arm and is clearly thinking this description now applies to him, too:

Winter Soldier (2012) #19

(At this point in time, Bucky has inverted the color scheme of his star as a way to mourn the end of his relationship with Natasha. Her memories of him were wiped and he decided it was best to not mess with her mind anymore and leave her be, because she had had her mind tampered with so much as the Black Widow, while now only he suffers from the loss of her memories.

This is thematically relevant to the larger plot because Tesla was largely spared having her memories altered. She says, of her disobedience as a child in showing compassion for another student, which was punished by forcing her to kill the boy, “Upon my return to The Orphanage it was decided that my behavior should be unmodified. My memories unaltered, I was returned to my cage. I’m still not sure if it was meant as a reward or a punishment.”

Later it’s said, “As graduation day approached, rumors swirled that should we survive our final exams we’d be reprogrammed. Our memories and minds wiped clean. Rewired with new purpose. We were munitions to be sold to the highest bidder. It was the final push I needed.” She aced that final exam, killing 5 of her fellow students, and then looked for Hammer to see if he would then stop ignoring her, as he had been ever since that act of disobedience. The tone almost makes it seem like she’s doing something untoward, like she was escaping from this system, rather than acting perfectly within it. That ultimately makes it ambiguous to me whether she wanted her mind wiped or was trying to prove it wasn’t necessary.

And she says, of her employer as an adult, “There were safeguards of course, But most of my mind was intact. I was lucky he’d found me they said. That he loved me… That son of a #$%&# Van Owen.”

And then in the present Tesla gains the ability to go back in time and uses it to punish the people who hurt her, for example killing an instructor rather than killing that boy when she was a young student. But she specifically refuses to actually stop herself from being taken down that path in the first place, even trying to kill her father herself when she goes back to that moment, as opposed to seeing his face and his voice that she had forgotten. In her mind, “This is freedom. From regret. From the cruel momentum of time.”

Bucky himself doesn’t want to change anything in the past, either Natasha from having her memory of him wiped or killing Tesla’s father. (What he fights Tesla over is her decision to try to kill her own father herself.) He says, “Tesla, I’m sorry- I should have had the strength to stop this. But I have to live with that. I have lived with it. It’s moments like this that have made me stronger. Opened my eyes to how fragile it all is. How much it all means. You can’t fix the past, Tesla. You can only search for the strength to change the future.”)

Tesla is disappointed in how Bucky is now because she wants to be what she imagined/remembered him to be like, someone that can't be hurt and has no regrets, but the current Bucky has many regrets and emotional pains. It’s notably in that moment that Tesla finally also credits the remorseless Father Hammer for his role in shaping the person she’s become, that “Father Hammer pulled me from its [her father’s] orbit. Stoked in me what was required to overcome the fear my father faced. To better him.”

What becomes of the star symbolism in the end is, precisely mirroring how Tesla spoke of her father, the spaceship they are on is about to be destroyed and Tesla says, "The energy is expanding too rapidly. I can delay it. Activate the fail-safe signal and turn it in on itself," meaning sacrifice herself but give Bucky the opportunity to try to escape alive first. Bucky refuses and is able to save them both with his metal arm because it's "rigged to signal for a jump home. But with the distortion from the radiation belts- I could materialize inside a mountain or at the bottom of the ocean. Your intangibility shroud gives up both a shot. Activate the signal and then we jump."

Reclaiming what he symbolizes for her, as he reaches with his flesh hand, Bucky says, "Together we have a chance, Tesla- take it with me." No longer the boogy-man who came to wreck her life, in her mind saving her from what have been unbearable mundanity, he is actually saving her life, but in a way where she has to work with someone else for the first time in a long time. She wanted a life free from regrets, and an understated part of that was that she didn’t form real, close relationships with other people, or else something like her father’s ‘abandonment’ or being forced to kill that boy would happen. In that moment Tesla is actually connecting in a real way to someone that went through something similar to her, as opposed to her helping those other kids be brought to the Orphanage, or how she worked with other raised assassins and L.M.D.s and such in her war against soldiers with a shared mentality that “We are nothing.”

[zenkor123]

Notes WIP(what if Coin allowed memory restoration to take place after October 7

(I have to flip through reblogs to find this so making it a seperate post)

maybe the massacre of the mental institution patients was not ordered by Coin and the October 7 episode was incompetence. Doing this after October 7 would be super complicated and much more complicated then doing this in Squad 451 or when Peeta was in active treatment. I've had multiple discussions to get feedback and many believe that Katniss, and Peeta's friends would have prevented his post hijacking identity from emerging. If this is true they are going somewhere deeper then they expected

Have a hundred ideas going to jot them down

Peeta

Delly "She knows me better then any of you and was actually involved in my treatment how do you know better then her"

""In September 30th Peeta confronted Delly still believing he could recover, and not knowing why Delly was avoiding him. Delly when cornered told Peeta he was a mutt, was sorry she ever got involved in the futile task of reclaiming his memories, that he only looked like Peeta. She also talked to Peeta like a child while saying this. She also called him a "failed project." This was one of many factors which saw Peeta try to build something new rather then attempting to restore Old Peeta. Peeta realized he could not refute what Delly said and Peeta then reexamined himself. He had long had inner demons that told him what Delly said."

Delly said those things out of anger for the cafeteria incident and frustration it took a burden helping Peeta, seeing that instead of words of frustration Peeta saw Delly telling the truth with the insight of years of experience she probably feels horrible. But the words had power to Peeta because she was clearly struggling this is more apparent to Peeta by October 5th, he "realizes" that clinging to old Peeta had hurt Delly.

How would Delly and Peeta make up in this hypothetical fic scenario? Peeta feels bad and thinks it is his fault for pretending to be Peeta Mellark. He is still angry with her at a subconscious level for pretending to be his friend, and treating him like a charity case. Delly would have to elaborate on why she was wrong in what she said otherwise Peeta would forgive her too easily and say she was justified. If Delly mentioned the burden Peeta put her under he would immediately fear the same thing happening with his friends.

Fanfic: Jabberjay Ch 20, Hunger Games | FanFiction

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Though if he does not comply he will hurt other people as well.

Seeing Gale punch Peeta in the face would be funny and debunk that he is Katniss's lover. He already believes he is the reason for Katniss's depression so knowing why he has such an effect on her would be important.

2."Does Old Peeta deserve it:(SA delusions remnants of his pre hijacking self hatred) "

It's unclear if he would talk about it in lunch, or if he would need a semi private space or he would be so overwhelmed with internal stuff that he would release the bombshells anyway.

are they actually my friends or am I there charity project?

Finnick,Johanna, Annie have a friendship with Peeta that isn't a charity and even Haymitch is Peeta's friend though he isn't that close yet as he later becomes later month of the (Original fic).

He wouldn't want it to be true that they weren't really his friends but old Peeta's friends. He would be mad, hurt and betrayed and probably yell at them. They could retort that they are sick of him believing false things about himself that Katniss is hurting because of him, and Annie is sick of Peeta implying she is a mutt and it's affecting everyone Gale's best friend can't leave the bed, without Haymitch. They are also sick of seeing their friend say batshit crazy stuff about things everyone was there for and have that same friend not know when their birthday is also Katniss did not enjoy having a stating contest with you, having a gun pointed at her, be called a traumatized child because you held a delusion that she hated you and wanted you dead. (Sounds like Johanna's voice)

He actually remembers when he took the pill what happened before and what happened after, and he wouldn't hesitate to bring it up as soon as they asked, he would make them listen to everything about this pill. This would make Annie uncomfortable.

He might also develop imposter syndrome: "I'm sorry (Peeta crying) He won't come back I wish I could be the Peeta you describe but I'm not!"

Peeta also thinks Jackered memories are usually lost memories and that they explode when touched. How is he going to work?

Doctors how would they help?

If they go to Peeta's doctors and have a written note saying it won't harm his ability to work since they were concerned for that it could make Peeta less afraid of snow's demons.

Katniss

so many layers unlike in squad 451 he would go straight to the hard questions and it might be too much for Katniss?

Katniss's participation would have a massive amount of layers involved.

If she participates she can debunk conclusively the SA delusions which would go along way but she would have to tell the mutt that replaced Peeta that they had sex before the arena in the 75th games in front of Finnick, Johanna and Gale. impact of the episodes and such "is it safe to do this?" Peeta would ask this. Just telling Peeta that she never wanted to kill him was enough to make him comfortable to be in the same room as her.

How would Annie, Johanna, Finnick, Delly, Katniss, Haymitch, Prim, go about convincing Peeta that he isn't lost?

Boggs, Jackson, Wrynkal Anderson, Arlo Stocksbridge would be all for this.

a likely event he would drop the false SA bombshell he did in squad 451, and the "I watched him die" fairly fast he came up with the ideas and he would not go soft in presenting them.

Annie also watched him succumb to the mind breaking pill.

Though would Annie actually agree with Peeta since she also can't feel pain(assuming that is a byproduct of the mind breaking pill maybe she can) and is immune to Jacker venom along with episodes. What Peeta says about the same experiences she went through and is going through would affect her as well in some way.

Peeta would want results faster than merely humoring Squad 451 and asking about the favorite color. He would want to hammer just how hopeless it is once he got past "charity? How dare you!" with them. He would then bring up the most pressing and confusing questions for the specific topic of Katniss.

Annie is Peeta's best friend so her words would be powerful. How would they go about convincing Peeta? When will Peeta admit that he wants to know when his birthday is and stop being sour grapes? (his belief that the memories can't come back- anger that the memories can't come back-disparaging the same memories.) There's an entire fic worth of material that could be written based on this scenario.

Also Peeta has episodes and attributes them to being a mutation, he can't feel pain and plays with tasers finding them ticklish and is immune to jacker venom. Being a mutation is an active physical reality for Peeta. If he did begin to think he was right his morale would decrease every time he has an episode. Or the first few times. An interesting question is what impact would it have on the way Peeta copes with episodes if they aren't "mutt rages"

He is only beginning to make a list of hijacked memories starting since October 3rd. He has 13 entries listed.

What impact would Peeta’s drug usage have on his relationship with Katniss?

Peeta would ask about the games, though he saw the films and tapes so he would want to know what was censored and not on cameras.

Reclaimed hobbies and useful information that he is "scavenging" can he disassociate this from the Peeta Mellark of old. Is he more then Peeta Mellark?

Beyond that after asking if he SA'd Katniss, and deep questions he would then probe to see which queries led to the least amounts of episodes starting with small stuff. Though by the end of the month he knows how to distinguish but not recover(in the fic where this scenario never happened). How good is he at this, he knows how to distinguish but his own reclamation efforts were at a much earlier stage. He is even less confident in his command of his memory early in the month then he is in the late month. The illusion of mastery is only 70 percent attained his theories and funny ideas are only just being refined. He cares a lot more than he did in squad 451.

In the event of this scenario his life has just gotten more complicated then it already is.

His theories are just as much to prevent the feeling of not being able to tell apart fiction from reality as they are about finding the reality. By October 8th he knows what isnt real and is categorizing his memories into fabrications and reality. By late October in the main fic timeline he knows what isn't real and he thinks he knows his past self.

Even if he storms off his sense of what is real or his guiding light as he scavenges is even more obviously faulty.

What stage was Peeta in with regards to his preface by October 8-9 and his memories of torture?

What impact would memory restoration have on the doctor's treatments?

Also Peeta disassociates as a coping mechanism, and his worst parts survived the Jacker Blasts and wasn't born in the Capitol. How would Katniss react to him revealing parts of himself previously repressed or hidden in plain sight? His violence, distrustfulness, self loathing, anger and rebelliousness.

If his watch in squad is now focused on restoration of his memory, Haymitch and Johanna are in the cartel and his doctors are on board then the pressure would eventually convince Peeta to play the real or not real. The ruins metaphorically shall consume him.

Once this occurs what shall Peeta be like when he consumed back into his past? What if his mutt identity dissolved earlier maybe by mid October?

Is Peeta Mellark still from district 13 or is he from district 12? Peeta would be able to access memories from Graesy Sae who would have some interesting stuff to sae.

Peeta would provide more support to Katniss's plan to kill snow.

Haymitch would probably play real or not real when he is at work for the cartel, unless Johanna knows something,

Peeta probably pitches the idea of snow hunting mission to coin.

[breithenua]

It's my honest opinion that Danzo didn't actually do a lot of the things he did for the village, as he claimed. He liked to tell himself that, sure, but I believe that was just a lie he told himself to justify to himself his own actions. I think that ultimately, whether he was honest with himself about it or not, he did those things for the benefit of his own ambitions, or just to be petty. When viewed in that light, I think Danzo's decisions ultimately make more sense, though they make one hate him more too.

In essence, I see Danzo as a resentful, jealous, petty cockroach of a man that subconsciously acted on those emotions while convincing himself that his actions were for "the greater good of Konoha". And to further convince himself that it wasn't his own petty emotions ruling his actions, he created the Root with the creed of not allowing its members to engage with their own emotions.

That's sort of the irony of his character; Danzo preached distance and suppression of one's emotions in order to carry out the mission, but was ultimately ruled by them under the surface because of his refusal to grapple with them honestly. You can't truly act outside of your emotions if you aren't aware of what they even are, afterall.

Let's look at some of his actions. Hiruzen was chosen as the 3rd hokage over him, and what did Danzo do? He created an entire shadow organization that carried out sabotage missions, assasinations and such that even the regular anbu were not privy to.

Hiruzen didn't want to pursue damages from other villages after the 3rd Shinobi war ended, because he didn't want any further conflict to break out needlessly. It was Danzo that pushed for the pursuance of damages more than anyone else, and as a result Hiruzen had to step down and take the blame onto himself. It's probably not a coincidence that Danzo's insistence resulted in the hokage spot he had wanted for literally decades being open, giving him the opportunity to possibly take over.

When Minato was chosen as the 4th Hokage, he was furious. Danzo also happened to be the man that leaked the information a few years after that incident, that Naruto had the 9-tails sealed inside him, conveniently leaving out the fact that Minato was his father and that Minato had wished for the village to see Naruto as a hero for taking on the burden of the 9-tails. Uniting the village wasn't the reason, and I'll get into why it isn't, further down. I believe he did so because he was still resentful towards Minato for not only becoming the 4th hokage instead of him, much like Hiruzen did before, and with Minato and Kushina both being dead, Naruto was the next closest person he could lash out against.

In the immediate aftermath of the 9-tails attack, Danzo helped spread rumors that the Uchiha were behind it, despite knowing the fact that they wanted to join but were ordered not to, including by himself. Why? That certainly wasn't for unity. There's nothing unifying about driving a wedge between Konoha and one of it's oldest, and most powerful clans, especially when that clan runs the ninja police force that kept the day to day peace in the village. That's why I call bullshit on the reasoning for revealing the secret about Naruto being unifying everyone against Naruto in their hate and distrust. He wasn't concerned about unity in the immediate aftermath of the incident at all, in fact he did what he could to destroy said unity.

So what then was his reason for spreading those rumors that the Uchiha were behind the attacks? And I don't know for sure, but we do know he lusted after and was jealous of their power. It could've been sheer resentment of the power they had and he didn't have. Or maybe from the very beginning he wanted to plant the seeds for the Uchiha to attempt to rebel so that Konoha would have a reason to crush them, giving him the chance to steal all those Sharingan eyes. I don't know. But it certainly wasn't for "unity".

Several years later, when the Uchiha understandably got so tired and pissed at being treated like shit becquse of those suspicions, and started planning a coup d'etat, he sabotaged Itachi and Shisui's plans for stopping the coup in a bloodless manner (by way of using Shisui's Koto Amatsukami on Itachi's father and the clan head Fugaku during a clan meeting). Danzo had one of his root agents of Aburame descent fatally poison/paralyze Shisui with insect venom, and then stole one of Shisui's eyes right out of his skull, and would've taken the other if the pain and shock hadn't allowed Shisui to overcome the paralysis of the poison. He justified this by saying Shisui's power would be better off in his hands than used on such a gamble. But we don't know that Shisui's idea couldn't have worked. Fugaku was the clan head, and held a lot of respect. Which leads me to believe that while Danzo may have told himself it wouldn't have worked anyway, ultimately he just wanted an excuse to steal Shisui's eyes.

When it became clear that Shisui's death prevented that route from being taken, Hiruzen wanted to try to enter into dialogues with them directly. What did Danzo do? He wnet behind Hiruzen's back and basically convinced Itachi that either he kills the entire clan besides Sasuke so that Sasuke at least can live, or he lets the coup take place, and EVERY Uchiha including Sasuke would die. This resulted in the Uchiha massacre, and "coincidentally" allowed Danzo to obtain a ton more extra Sharingan for that Hashirama cell arm of his.

Lastly, there's the fact that he and his root members stood by and did nothing during the Pain assault. Afaik it's literally stated that he did this to make Tsunade look incompetent, so that he could take her place as 6th Hokage.

Point is to all of this, I believe Danzo was an incredibly selfish, jealous and petty man who did everything he could to convince himself it was for the good of his village. He was ultimately ruled by his base desires, because he didn't have the emotional awareness or honesty with himself to grapple with his own emotions.