#and i would appreciate prayers that it would just be healed or that i would know what to do
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Hello praying people, I'm not doing well and would really appreciate your prayers right now <3
#long very boring and unnecessarily detailed tag monologue incoming‚ feel free to skip:#this is going to sound like a silly thing to be hitting rock bottom over#but i’m fairly certain i have a semi-rare skin condition known as sensitive skin syndrome#which is basically where skin gets progressively more sensitive#until it won’t tolerate the topical application of anything at all without getting irritated#usually it happens to people on the skin of their face and i have it there but i also specifically have it on my lips#(which apparently is extremely not normal; i found a dermatologist’s case study from like 2019 of one woman who had it on her lips#and according to this case study there were no other cases of people having it on their lips#in all the dermatological literature he had read)#i can’t follow the protocol which all the journal articles i’ve been able to find say is helpful for the rest of the face which is basicall#leave the area the heck alone for at least a year#because if i don’t apply anything to my lips for more than two or three days they will get so dry they crack and bleed#so it’s looking like one way or another i may be having to deal with dry burning irritated lips for the rest of my life#and i’m not dealing with the thought of that very well#i’ve already suffered so much anguish from extreme sensitivity on the rest of my face#and not being able to take proper care of the skin there#and this is just too much for me#i know God is allowing this for a reason but it’s filling me with so much frustration and panic and despair that i don’t know how to go on#but i must and i will#this isn’t a serious or a life-threatening condition but it’s looking like a pretty hopeless one and it’s hurting me badly#and i would appreciate prayers that it would just be healed or that i would know what to do#i think i will try going to my dermatologist but somehow i doubt she's even heard of sensitive skin syndrome#on a COMPLETELY unrelated note i'm just about to get my period and also for two days i've ''eaten'' nothing but vegetable smoothies#and those in pretty small amounts because they're disgusting#(do a detox my hormonal health doctor said)#(it'll be fun she said)#ok if you read this far you're so brave braver than any u.s. marine etc.#thanks for reading ily <3
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itspileofgoodthings · 2 years ago
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things I’ve always wanted to do: give a graduation speech at my alma mater
things I’m doing this Saturday: giving a graduation speech at my alma mater
things that are also happening: very complicated and painful feelings about the fact that i’m giving a graduation speech at my alma mater
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hazelfoureyes · 8 months ago
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⟢Alastor x Cupid FemReader Tasked with making a demon believe in true love or you can’t return to heaven, things immediately go off the rails when you hurt yourself and Alastor catches one of your most troubling arrows; Mania
˚₊ · »-♡→ Week 1 and Week 2
˚₊ · »-♡→Week 3 and Week 4 smut💦 (keep reading)
Alastor lets you leave the hotel! Together! For soup. Later, your plans to make Alastor lose his obsession backfire. But like, in a hot way so you’re not that mad about it. A+ for effort?
˚₊ · »-♡→Week 5, Week 6, Week 7, and Epilogue smut💦
「warnings/promises: smut, I once again misuse a fucking prayer in a sacrilegious way, soup, spoon feeding, Angel texts, so much cum, bondage, tentacles, just good ole fashion fucking in the radio station, not quite dubcon but Alastor doesn’t really listen, hell has twitter and lets be real it’s just normal twitter, giant Alastor, Horse Luci」
Minors DNI ♥️ 🧹lovingly
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You finally managed to leave the hotel. It was of course with Alastor at your side, microphone pressing into the small of your back like a third arm. It was as if he worried you’d just turn around and run.
He opened every door, pulled out your chair, and when your left hand shook and dropped your food he took on the task of feeding you. It was embarrassing, to say the very least. The sinners in the restaurant staring, a brave few filming or typing furiously on their phones.
You got a buzz on your own cell, a gift from Angel when he realized Alastor wouldn’t let you speak with others alone. 
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He texted a link to a post on some hell site, to a photo of you right then, at that exact moment, being spoon fed by the radio demon. You considered smashing your head into the table until you blacked out. If you got up and left would you make it back to the hotel before someone realized you weren’t a sinner? You were absolutely terrified of someone noticing you as heaven sent.
Heaven kicked? Heaven thrown. Yeah that one felt right.
“You need to eat. You can’t heal like this.” Alastor sounded concerned, but you fought the urge to care. 
He hadn’t apologized to Husk, but Husk did say Alastor seemed to avoid eye contact which was basically a gift to him. Alastor had come to your room to dress you the next day as he always did, neither of you mentioning the day before. The hall was magically pristine by the time you left.
A tiny sliver of you thought he felt embarrassed. But decades of experience told you that Mania didn’t afford embarrassment, the stricken couldn’t be truly manic if something like that was holding them back.
Maybe it had been such a shallow cut he hadn’t gotten the full punch of Mania?
Another attempt to feed yourself, slowly bringing your spoon to your mouth, “You know when I heal I am going to finish my task and leave, right?” 
An odd laugh, a non-existent tear wiped away, “Adorable. No. I promise you, that won’t happen.”
“Alastor.” You put the spoon down with a clink.
“I love when you say my name. May I offer you more reasons to hold it in your mouth?”
“Al-,” you groaned, “I can’t stay forever.”
He hummed, a show of pretending to think about what you said, “Wrong! You can. And I argue, you will.”
You tried again with the spoon, regretting soup. Your appetite had been shot for awhile and it seemed easy enough. Wrong. Again. There was a constant tremble to your hands since arriving. Perhaps experiencing pain for the first time was rattling your body so much that it couldn’t cope. “Why would I ever do that? This is literal hell.”
Alastor leaned over, taking the spoon from you with ease and bringing it to your mouth, “Because I’ll make you understand it’s where you belong. They didn’t appreciate you,” his grin widened, “Not like I do. Like I can, if you’d let me.”
Annoyed and flustered, you took the help to eat. “Thank you.” A spoonful, “How can you say that though? I’m the one and only Cupid.”
“Actually, no. You’re not. You are just the current incarnation. They’ll replace you.” 
You regretted telling him that. They could. Just replace you, that is. There was nothing stopping them. You stared into your soup, lips curling down.
“Don’t look so defeated. I’ll make you happy, for eternity.” 
Your eyes rolled. “When do you plan on starting that eternal happiness?”
You didn’t look at him when you said it, but you could see his hand slow, then become completely still. Had you wounded him?
He pivoted, “Doesn’t Cupid have wings?”
Another spoonful, “Of course.”
Alastor waited while you took a drink, determined to make you eat the entire bowl, “Where are they?”
A pause. Where were they? You hadn’t realized you couldn’t feel them. They weren’t everpresent, but their weight still sat between your shoulder blades at all times. Always. Normally. But now? 
“You don’t know? That’s troubling.” Alastor read your face with ease.
You shot him a look. Stop doing that. Stop replying to unspoken thoughts.
“Apologies.”
Another text before you could snap at him.
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You slid the phone away from Alastor, face red. “Do you think, honestly, if you’re capable of it, that I’ll ever be able to go home?”
His hand came to your neck, running over your collarbone, “For the record, I’ve never once lied to you.” You rolled your eyes, fine, okay, “With your heavenly body, even as weakened as you have been here, I’d say just a few more weeks.”
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You turned the phone face down.
“Good…that’s good. If you plan on winning me over, your countdown has started.” You pushed the soup away, appetite gone. The idea of never returning to heaven made you nauseous. He slid it back to you, face stern despite the smile he wore.
The walk home was quiet, your stomach full of unwanted soup.
No, not home. The hotel. 
He usually spoke a lot, clearly loving the sound of his own voice. His hand replaced the staff, settled on your back as he guided you. You could feel the warmth through your clothes. How could he be so hot and not be sweating? Another sinner thing?
The thought hadn’t left you by the time you came into view of the hotel gates. Maybe you had been replaced. How would you know? Maybe that was why your wings were gone. Surely there was some way to communicate from hell.
You found Lucifer as soon as you returned, unbothered by Alastor’s presence, “I need to speak to heaven.” 
Alastor was saying something but you had gotten quite good at tuning him out. Lucifer snapped back, the men quickly devolving into arguing again.
“Lucifer.” You said it with your chest. 
His apple topped cane whirled, a golden circle appearing with a crystal clear image of heaven’s glowing gates through its center.
A loud noise erupted behind you, a high pitched static wail, familiar tentacles flailed and a long shadow of a growing Alastor stretched across the wall. His back was bent into the lobby ceiling, perhaps three stories tall now.
The sounds of magic popping as Lucifer shapeshifted accented the sounds of horror with that of whimsy. You approached the portal, those black tendrils slithering around your ankles but you easily slipped out of them as their owner's energy was pulled to full demon Lucifer slamming into him.
Almost, you could see it. 
A monstrously large hand came down, shaking the hotel and knocking various objects off their perches in the lobby. Charlie and Vaggie, someone else you’d come to enjoy the company of, flew down the stairs.
The common area was filled with the sounds of yelling and breaking glass. You crawled over his hand as Alastor’s fingers curled around your body gingerly. He tried to pull you from the gateway but while he slowed, Lucifer now a flying horse kicking him in the face, your outstretched hand strained to enter the portal.
Your fingers grazed the doorway, the air around the lobby fizzing and warping as a desperate screech tore from Alastor’s wide and impossibly thin chest. The grip tightened around you. A static whine threatened to pop your eardrums.
As your fingertips pressed past the ring, they stopped. Something impenetrable and unseen between you and heaven. 
Alastor must have noticed it too, his grip loosening as you clamored on hand and knees to the portal. Your palm ran over the doorway, searching for a hole or seam to rip. Just under your skin was your home, bright and clean and painless. A tiny ‘no’ fell from your lips, smacking at the barrier with your open hand.
Alastor returned to his normal, still terrifying, height. Lucifer came forward, their fight losing motivation, his small hand on your shoulder as you sat on the hotel lobby floor. He closed the portal and apologized, “Sorry kid. Let’s try again when you finish that task, okay?”
Alastor’s arms went under your back and knees and lifted you off the ground. You didn’t resist or argue. Your eyes were unfocused, vision blurry with tears, as you were carried past the others. Vaggie looked ashamed, which was odd given she had more character than half the archangels could muster together between them.
There existed permissions for who could enter the heavenly realm, a list meticulously kept. They’d removed you from that roster. They’d locked the doors behind you.
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You felt good. The final week of your first, and hopefully last, month in hell was marked with taking off your sling for the first time.
A good three day wallow in a metaphorical cave helped you emerge with renewed vigor. Of course they locked the gates behind you, otherwise you’d just go home. That made sense. That made sense.
That had to make sense. 
Deciding to take a risk and attempt to expedite your homecoming, you and Angel made plans. Like a teenager in a party movie you snuck out of the hotel when Alastor was asleep. Well, so you assumed. You weren’t really sure what he did behind closed doors.
Angel brought you somewhere he felt people would be receptive to discussing love and talking to angelic beings, and admittedly also very high. 
Sling off but still being as gentle as you could, you leaned across the small standing-only table to talk-shout with a rather cute aquatic demon. An eel? Or maybe some kind of water-fond lizard? It didn’t matter, his glasses were cute, both of you a little drunk,  and you quite good at saying the right things.
And all of the right things were said, and you felt maybe if nothing else you’d enjoy your first demonic lay, when the power shut off.
Everyone filed out, bummed and bothered to find most of the neighborhood shrouded in darkness.
Angel tapped your shoulder and pointed up the hill to the hotel, radio station a glow with a red light, “Ya know, I wouldn’t be surprised.” Nothing to do but to stare, you stayed quiet and angry while he flagged down a taxi knowing the trip would be fast without traffic lights, “Guess Daddy Dead Eyes is calling you back.” 
Anger grew and grew in your chest as you were charioted home.
Jesus, to the hotel. Stop doing that.
You burst into the radio station tower, Alastor barely reacting. Until, that is, you marched up to his desk.
Pinned before you could react, his body pressing into yours as your ass ran up onto the desk.
“Sneaking out like a child?” His voice was low, soft, unnatural. “Why do you intentionally torment me?” 
 “I have done,” you tried to move but only succeeded in rubbing your stomach against his crotch, “no such thing. You’re just possessed.”
He responded by pressing forward, no accident, as his eyes narrowed on you, “Correct. I am a man possessed.” When he rolled himself into you, an alcohol primed groan escaped your mouth. 
“I thought you didn’t care about those things,” your eyes flashed to his lap pushing into you and then back to his glare.
“You’re my exception that proves the rule. If you’re so desperate for attention there’s no need to leave the hotel to find it.” His smile was poisoned by the simmering anger in his eyes, “Dear.”
It was the alcohol and annoyance at losing a chance with glasses-man, Jake or Jark or something not worth a scrabble move, that made you sneer a reply, “Not yours. I am a divine creature, demon. Your body would just filthy me.” Nose up, feeling absolutely better than him in every sense, you pushed him off and left. 
That was easy. Wow. 
Proud of yourself, you made it to the elevator before you realized— illusions. Perhaps his illusion was the idea sex with you was worth the effort, more so than others. He said it himself before, he didn’t care for such things. Perhaps if you could show him it was as boring and unattractive as sex with anyone else could be, maybe you could shatter his mania with disappointment.
You pulled a u-turn and heel-toed right back into his station. Giving him no time to react this time, you climbed onto his chair and straddled him, “On second thought, try your worst. Let’s get it out of your system and move on.” You ground your hips down. He only smiled up at you, amused. Taking his hands you set them on your waist, giving him permission to handle you, “Claim me. Make everyone know I’m yours.” He didn’t move. You were starting to feel embarrassed, had he goaded you just to make you look stupid? He would.  But your kind invented the tension before sex between enemies, “If you can.”
That did it. His hair visibly stood on end, “It is not a matter of ability. It’s about-”
“If you can’t, that’s fine. No need to start lying to me now. But don’t say I never gave you the opportunity.” You smirked, hoping he enjoyed a taste of his own sardonic medicine, and lifted yourself off of him.
His hands came to life on your hips, helping you rise and then flipping you onto your stomach. Your arms pushed radio transmitters and various old timey fuckery away to make room for yourself.
Those talons slipped up the center of your bottoms and crooked into your underwear. Long and strong, his fingers felt you. “Is this a perk of a heavenly body or is this,” two fingers dipped into your already wet and relaxed entrance, “all for me?”
You fought the urge to respond with anything other than malice, “Don’t flatter yourself.”
In heaven no one needs preparation, no one needs lube or required stretching to keep things whole and fun. You would love to say that quality followed you down, but unfortunately, like perfect health and angelic wings, it had not. 
You decided to chalk it up to the alcohol. Always an easy excuse to offer yourself.
Alastor’s hands pulled away and up, finding the place just above the Rosie’s Emporium clothing tag and ripping the bottoms and underwear clean in half.
You bit into your hand to keep your excited shriek to yourself but unfortunately couldn’t stop your legs kicking up. His laugh echoed off the many windows. 
Why couldn’t he be worse at this? Why couldn’t Alastor be clumsy and meek and awkward at sex? No, the menace you’d gotten almost used to was confident and commanding, you felt yourself twitching in anticipation. People have a misconception that Cupid was a chaste and wholly emotional creature, which was false. First of all, Cupids varied based on the incarnation. Just like other heavenly creatures their personality was varied and unpredictable. 
Personally, you weren’t suited for the job. If you were honest. Why couldn’t your quiver just be full of Eros and Agape? Even of those two, sexual love was more your speed. Romance was fine and lovely but perhaps you’d gotten a little jaded. 
Luckily for you, fucking Cupid was something many winners had on their afterlife bucket lists and you rarely found yourself with an empty bed.
Your attention was stolen back, Alastor’s clawed hand grabbing at the flesh of your thighs, “Oops.”
Focus. Why were you doing this again? Your system was metabolizing the alcohol now, and with the air cooling off your exposed sex, everything was awash with lust. Did you want to diminish his mania or were you just horny?
Would it really be so bad to admit you were both?
Deep breath, you remembered. Boring. Banal. The plan was to be motionless and not provide him any satisfying sounds. Don’t touch him, don’t try to push back on him, no tricks or fancy shit. The sooner he was over this you could make someone trust in love and fuck off home. 
Seconds turned to a minute, your ass in the air as Alastor’s hands pawed at your skin. You wanted to ask what the hold up was, but you didn’t want to give away how much you were needing him to just fuck you already.
“Do you miss flying?”
You looked around, were you so drunk you missed an entire chunk of conversation while thinking about how to hide thirsting for his dick?
“Yes…?” True statement.
“Allow me to help with that.”
There was a moment you half expected to be chucked out the window, but almost worse than that, you heard him seat himself in the chair again before your body was picked up and off the desk. “Alastor! I don’t-,” Hands flailing, feet moving around the best they could, you struggled against the familiar tentacles he had command over. “I do not allow it!”
Your hands batted at them fruitlessly. One came under your knees and folded them to either side of your chest before wrapping around your waist twice, a second across your chest like a seatbelt snug and secure. Had you been on the floor you could almost be mistaken for taking a deeply devout praying stance. Only your arms were free to move, the position making you open and incapable of taking back any semblance of control. 
“Alastor!” Stretching, you could almost reach the edge of his work table, but your fingers and toes curled in as you were seated on something hot and stiff. Your lips quivered, desperate to keep silent as you were pulled down onto him. Reaching back your hands found his stomach, raking your nails across the skin in need of anything to grip. 
When you heard him chuckle to himself, you knew you were already losing. Plan backfiring entirely. You pulled your hands back to your center, taking ahold of the tentacle nestled between and across your chest. 
“Heavenly Father,” his voice was quiet but sure, your eyes so wide you worried you’d get stuck making a permanent face of utter shock and despair, “bless us and these thy gifts which we receive from thy bountiful goodness, through your name, our lord.” You were lifted off his lap, Alastor’s swollen tip dragging along your unstretched walls as he said the Lord's prayer, “Amen.” Pulled back down before the second syllable even reached your ears, you cut into your bottom lip as a scream bounced around behind your teeth.
Heathen.
“I would think you of all people knew how to finish a prayer.” Alastor chided, “What will heaven say?”
If heaven knew you were being impaled midair on an overlord’s cock, they’d create a second hell for you to rule. Population of none. Except maybe some horny nuns.
As he found a pace he seemed happy with, slow and long draws out of you, you realized how fucked you were. Looking down, you could see one of his hands was settled at the base of his cock, those long fingers draped down his balls. The other hand was unseen and unfelt. 
“Alastor.” You tried to sound stern.
“Oh I doubt heaven knows my name. Not yet at least.” He sounded unbothered, almost unaffected. “Not until I’ve spirited away their little angel of love.”
You were almost insulted at how easily he could speak despite being buried so far into your wet, hot cunt. Maybe you had been spoiled in heaven, people usually so turned on by the idea of you that they were coming undone as soon as you were wrapped around them or in them in whatever way you decided.  
A broken chant of “be bored, be bored,” in your mind as Alastor hummed, that mystery clawed hand falling at your back. Biting your lip, you tried to think about anything other than how full he was making you. Did the glasses man at the club have a cock as thick as Alastor’s? Would you have been as satisfied as you were now? Every down thrust made the tuft of fur at this base press against your ass. Soft. You wanted to grind against it, the idea pulling a wanton moan out.
Fuck. Failing to distract yourself because you got distracted. It was so hard to think about anything else than your body being pushed open again and again. The blood on your lips was sweet, licking them clean before finding a new spot to bite down on. Quiet.
“Ah, are you giving me the silent treatment?”
Could this son of a bitch read minds? Could sinners read minds?!
 If you didn’t reply, that was confirmation. But if you did reply, you were breaking your goal of not talking.
“Just…,” you took a deep sigh, knowing this was going to be rough, “I’m not really feeling like making any noise.” A shrug, the best you could manage at least while bound and held aloft in the space above his lap. Pretending this was normal and boring was a feat. “I’m not a vocal person during sex. I prefer to just lie there and get serviced. Don’t mind me.”
That sounded awful. Perfect. 
“Oh? Well then, I guess I’ll not worry myself.” You could hear the smile in his voice. Less perfect. He began to hum a little tune as your body, partially upright, was now being tilted forward at a 45 degree angle from his lap. His cock was bending in you, head pressing harshly up into your walls. 
Heart beating so fast you felt a dizzy spell hit you, that renewed anticipation almost as arousing as the sensations.
His humming continued like he was reading the paper. You’d never ridden a roller coaster, but you’d seen many people do it before and this was surely the same feeling; right at the peak before the drop. When the ride operator stills you and lets you stare down at the height before you. Your stomach was flipping, excitement tinged with fear. 
You were pulled off his dick until you felt the bell of his red tip get just outside your entrance. Was he going to pull out entirely?
No. He pulled you down by way of shadows and fucked you just a couple inches into your cunt. His head was dragging out past your tight hole and smashing back in, directly hitting your g-spot. The spongy bundle of nerve endings was dented with every thrust.
You weren’t used to having your entrance stimulated so much, the skin luckily becoming slick as your own wetness was fucked out of you. 
“That feels weird, please.” How quickly you gave up. “Stop pulling out like that.”
A considerate sigh, “But you’ve gotten so wet, my dear. You’re dripping down my thighs already. I don’t think you want me to stop.”
Could you cum like this? You felt like you could, maybe if you just…you quickened your breath, faster and faster. Your stomach heaving, you felt the crescendo of pleasure. 
“On second thought!” He stopped.
Your toes wiggled, hands gripping the tentacle on your chest. Quiet. Shh. Don’t argue. Boring. Don’t care. The building orgasm waned, you felt your blood pressure lower. This really was hell. 
Alastor’s head was just sitting in you, burning hot and throbbing. You were sure you could feel his heartbeat. 
You two were locked in a standoff. Someone had to let on they were enjoying themselves; Alastor releasing pent up frustration with your attitude toward his affections, you chasing down a rare penetration-only orgasm. 
An idea struck you, a way to hopefully antagonize him and bruise his pride enough to force him into your hand (pussy), “Thank God. I think it’s almost my bedtime.”
Alastor’s smile strained, a twitch coming over his left eye. A trap. But the idea of letting you down and off of him seemed far worse than the small defeat you were offering. “Allow me to rock you to sleep then, sweetheart.”
Success! Shit! 
You reached out, the angle of your punishment allowing you to grab the edge of the table and grip. Alastor’s annoyance translated to an inhuman pace, him pulling you off entirely from his cock before bringing you back down. He was positively slipping in and out of you, your lower lips puffy and soaked around him. This degree of wetness was something you couldn’t remember feeling outside of marathon sessions. 
When your hands tightened, a shock of pain tore down your arm, a scream bringing Alastor to a sudden stop. “My collar…” Pain was apparently not a kink you enjoyed, though you briefly wondered if heaven allowed it at all. 
You couldn’t even fuck properly. You couldn’t do anything right. All you managed to do was fail. A sting to your eyes as the air hit your welling tears. Did humans feel this pain often? Your body was righted and turned, you looked down to Alastor’s face as you were brought to him. He looked so soft, usual smirk a sweet toothless smile, “I told you to keep the sling on, didn’t I?” He looked happy.
Your arms found his shoulders and your head came to his chest, “Shut up and finish already.” He didn’t release you from the binding, instead pulling the right arm under the hold of his slender tendril to keep it safe and out of the way.  His hands were both at the base of his cock while you were gently riding him. Well, “you”. He was still using his powers to manipulate your body on and off of him. Alastor’s fingers were spreading your arousal down his shaft and along his tightening balls, if you had looked at his face you’d have seen a weakened man there, furrowed brows and lust drunk eyes. But you didn’t look, trying to hide the same expression on your own features. 
Left hand free, no need to hold yourself up, you made lazy, and you hoped subtle, circles around your clit. You weren’t sure if this was a total failure or not, but you could finish and say something good came of it. You, specifically. 
Things were quiet, though. The loudest sound in the room was the wet pop coming from where his body was meeting your sopping hole. His breathing was fast and soft, sighing when he bottomed out. Another bite to your lip, a few more deep hits to your cervix, and you enjoyed a small but satisfying release. The hand on you stayed through, riding out tiny waves of pleasure as you twitched around him. When you felt his release you sighed, you did it. You think. Maybe. Regardless. 
As he slowly lifted you, you considered if your legs could hold you—
Up you went and back down you fell as he took a new, quicker pace.
“A-Ah-lastor?! You,” you bit your tongue, “already finished?”
You had made a mistake earlier that you hadn’t even realized. But Alastor had been holding it between his sharp teeth, “How many times?”
Absolutely no idea what he was talking about, you gasped out a reply, “What!?”
“How many times should I fill you before you’re too filthy to return to heaven, do you think?” He couldn’t be serious. “Three? Five? You see, the advantage of using my tentacles is that I don't get tired.”
Oh, but he was serious. 
The battle was entirely forfeit somewhere around the third time he flooded you with his seed.
“These aren’t the usual screams I enjoy from my studio, but I’m not averse to them.”
 When he felt you’d learned whatever lesson you were supposed to be taking in by the pump full, you were finally removed from him. He covered your lower half with his coat around your waist. It would be lying to say you were surprised to find his wide shoulders and small waist wasn’t just an illusion of his well tailored, yet oddly torn, coat. He was annoyingly attractive. Who gave him the right?
Your legs gave out when you tried to stand, warm hands pulling under your armpits to get you back on your feet. As much as you wanted to push him away, you were still a little tipsy and your legs still getting used to full blood flow. His arm held out for you to use for stability, you took it and wobbled silently to the floor you both lived on. Before you left the elevator you looked down and saw a line of white dripping down your inner leg. Took longer than you expected, honestly. 
When you turned to the right to go to your door, his arm came around your waist and shepherded you to his room on the left. You shot him a look, asking what he thought he was doing. 
He laughed, “Oh, after tonight’s little escapade, you’re moving!” He opened his door and gestured for you to enter, “Welcome home, my dear.”
What was worse than a failure? A catastrophe? This was that. 
“Now come on, we need to get you cleaned up.” A hand patted softly at your ass before ushering you inside.
He did just that, wiping you down and undressing you before settling you into his bed. Exhausted and sore, you decided to argue after sleep.
When you awoke, you checked your shredded bottoms for your phone. Nothing. 
An answer was found when you mentioned it to Alastor, who asked what you were searching for so early in the morning, “Perhaps someone at that venue you enjoyed has it? Too bad you can’t go back and ask.” He was resting his back against the headboard, you realized he’d unbuttoned his shirt quite a bit. “Oh well!”
How was he always making you scream?
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∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):
@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @wettiny-in-smutland , @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog , @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum ,
@ivebeenthearchersstuffn, @rubyninja1 , @simphornies , @alleystore , @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @ive-no-idea-what-to-call-this , @fizzled-phoenix , @fjorjestertealeaf , @phobophobular , @surusurusuru , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo , @simplyonehellofanotaku , @xixflower , @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 , @watereddownmilk , @raynerrold , @crazii-saber-wolf , @valkyrie-expeditions , @bontensbabygirl , @sillyb0nez , @oo0lady-mad0oo , @jazzmasternot , @pseudobun , @fraugwinska✨, @alitaar , @straows , @alastorssimp , @angelicwillows , @b-o-n-e-daddy , @one-and-only-tay , @asleeponelmstreet , @tremendoushearttaco , @mutifandomkid , @sapphirecaelis , @itzzzkiramylove  @saccharine-nectarine , @viannasthings , @looking1016 , @ultimate-duck-king-lucifer , @blakeaha , @astraechos , @reath-solia ,
🏹Alastor stalkers: @celestial-vomit , @amurtan
@faeoffaith , sailorsmouth , @jeannyjaykaydeh , @jyoongim , @cosmic-lavender , @saturn-alone , @lustylita , @radio-darling , @kaylopolis , @dickmastersworld , @leviskittywh0re
@asianfrustration13 @alittletiredcry @sirens-and-moonflowers @alastorssimp
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d1s1ntegrated · 5 months ago
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helloo!! can you do hcs of shigaraki x civilian reader please?
thank youu <333
shigaraki x civilian!reader (slight nsfw!)
»» ──────ஓ๑♥๑ஓ ────── ««
he had first caught sight of you months ago, and since then his obsession only grew.
yeah, he knew he was being a stalker, but he couldn't help it
you were just so beautiful, how could a stranger be so perfect?
he wondered what it would be like to have you, to hold you, to steal you away from this broken world and heal you
he memorized your routine, he knew your social media, he even knew where you lived now cause he followed you home from the mall a few days ago.
he'd sit outside your apartment, sometimes climbing the fire escape late at night to watch you sleep, palming at his erection through his jeans to the rhythm of your breaths.
he knew he couldn't have you, but he still vowed to turn hell cold for you.
everyone in the league noticed his change, but no one dared speak out against him. he was way more aggressive than usual, spoke less, even spent less time gaming. he was absent more, as well, which was nerve-wracking for them.
he knew they wouldn't understand. maybe toga would, but he'd rather not share his newfound delight with anyone else anyways.
he'd sit alone in his room late at night, crying and whimpering into his pillows, calling out your name. begging for some miracle that you'd notice him, his gestures of love for you (anonymous tear-streaked love letters, flowers, the ominous stain outside your bedroom window).
he'd cry, rub his dick raw, and cry again.
if you noticed him, it'd be different. he knew it. he couldn't approach you, but if you approached him, maybe he could win.
but you did notice him. somehow, you weren't scared, but flattered. you kept his letters, you hung the flowers to dry. you were just a normal, regular person. what about you captivated this mystery man so much?
you felt obligated to respond one day, desperate for an answer. you left a small note in the mailbox, signed "for my admirer".
his heart nearly fell out of his ass when he noticed it, he yanked it away and read it in an alley, too anxious to wait to get back to base.
the note was simply, short, sweet. just like he'd imagined.
"i appreciate all you've given me. give me a call sometime so i can show my thanks in person. (xxx-xxxx-xxxx)."
he hastily, shakily added your contact to his phone and ran off with the paper shoved in his pocket.
he came so violently that night his nose bled, and for a second, he felt healed. like his prayers had been answered, like the world wasn't as rotten as he previously assumed.
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mistific · 10 days ago
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Hiii <3 i really like your writing so i would love to request something actually.
I thought about how the Hashiras (or whatever characters you aren’t tired of writing for) would be with an taller female partner/crush ?
If it would bother them etc…
I‘m 1,79m and since that’s taller than a lot of them i sometimes feel a little weird when reading fanfics or whatever and they often describe the reader as small/petite/short.
Would highly appreciate a response!! 🫶 Thank you!!! <3
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⋆˚✿˖° 高い // Tall ! ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
╰┈➤ The Hashiras admiring you and their reactions but you're a tall lady :3
( Active ) Hashiras x Fem!Reader ( Implied crush, romantic :3 )
Canon AU, Fluff !
A/n : Hopefully this is to satisfaction !! Had a hard time trying to accurately picture some Hashiras personalities since its my first time writing them lol, thank you for the request anon !!
✮ ⋆ ˚。 Begin !⋆。°✩
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⋆˚✿˖° Tomioka Giyu
• When an announcement of a new Hashira settling in the corps, Giyu was simply neutral about it. Just his emotionless, stoic self.
• Seeing the said new Hashira during the semiannual Hashira meeting, he did not expect to meet someone his height.
• In truth, he was used to females significantly shorter than him, so he wondered if your family were extremely tall as well.
• For a while, Giyu was quite literally eyeing you. You were ethereal in his eyes, your height was an amazing feat for Giyu, it made it an eye candy for him.
• Though his deep insecurities knew better than to selfishly keep you to himself, however it seemed you had different plans. Recently, Giyu noticed that you've been slowly but noticeably interacting with him.
• Not that he's complaining.
• As you two bonded, the stronger the connection became. You had found out his own vulnerabilities as well as vice versa, and you two often get paired during missions, so that's a plus in bonding.
• Your height doesn't bother him at all, in fact he finds it quite charming. The way your eyes will constantly meet and not having to adjust his head or his eyes, it just perfectly clicks.
⋆˚✿˖° Himejima Gyomei
• Oh, I doubt your height would compare to his. He'd honestly find you small nonetheless.
• He was delighted to know yet another member of the corps has been promoted to the Hashira title, knowing yet another person was determined to save humanity heals his heart.
• Gyomei.. I have a feeling capturing his heart would be complicated, but not impossible. I just have a feeling your personality should be motherly like him naturally being fatherly.
• Where Gyomei finds you fitting for his standards, he will be very subtle about it. However, the difference in the treatment is also quite clear.
• Secretly, he wraps his prayer beads around your neck as a necklace to feel your overall height around him, and I can tell you he was very pleased that you were significantly taller than some females.
• As the usual, your height does not bother him at all. He'd be quite glad to have yet another tall person around him.
⋆˚✿˖° Rengoku Kyojuro
• Oh he is ECSTATIC to hear a new Hashira member, he probably prepared a bento box just for you when the semiannual Hashira meeting commences!
• Oh boy was he amazed and intimidated by your height; it was shocking to see someone as tall as him, if not taller!
• With his welcoming and warm personality, you got along with him within seconds! Like his breathing style, you both had a spark and just connected just like that!
• Kyojuro loves giving you some of his bento boxes that he made. He made sure to make extras for you as well! He says, quote on quote: "You should eat more so you can become much more taller than I am! Haha!"
• This man has absolute no problem with your height either, he loves patting your shoulders as a subtle way of praising you, and he loves tapping your elbow with his during missions as a little warning since you're both probably the same height.
⋆˚✿˖° Kanroji Mitsuri
• Oh she was so happy to see yet another female Hashira was in the corps, seeing a female promoted to the Hashira title was so uncommon!
• "Oooo!! I will totally befriend her! This is all so exciting!!"
• As the affectionate Love Hashira she is, meeting her was quite overwhelming. The sudden exposure to large energy was shocking at first, but you soon got used to it.
• When Mitsuri fully registered that you were taller than her, she let out a loud audible gasp and her mouth goes agape.
• Mitsuri noticed she was unattractively gaping, she covers her mouth and blinks twice. It was a shocker, seriously! The way she has to physically turn her head to look at your eyes!
• It made her feel reeaaaallyyyy flustered, but she absolutely ADORES you. She always looks forward to your occasional meetup & missions when paired up together, she was originally thriving with life but with you added to the mix + her little crush on you? Her life is BOOMING.
• Your height? She's head over heels for it. No other necessary words.
⋆˚✿˖° Tokito Muichiro ( reader is the same age as him )
• Pre Swordsmith Village Arc, Muichiro didn't really pay attention to you. Like at all. Sure, he'd look your way and stare for a good few seconds then he'd walk away.
• You ALWAYS found him weird, but learning his backstory, you couldn't judge the boy for having rough memory. He didn't choose to be that way nor asked to experience such traumatic event.
• Since Muichiro is someone close to your age and the Master personally request that you talk with Muichiro, you decided to walk up to him.
• Well things didn't work out according to your plan, since he blatantly rejected your offer to be friends. Well, he walked away, didn't reject per se, but it stung.
• But you knew how Muichiro was from past experiences with him, he struggled with genuine emotions, and you understand that, so you chose to be patient with him.
• Except sometimes it was irritating.
• Post Swordsmith Village arc and you managed to secure a proper relationship with him, he remembered you miraculously!
• He was pretty soft spoken with you too and he smiled a lot around your presence, so that threw you off.
• During this duration, Muichiro had always acknowledged your height, genuinely looking irritated that he always has to look up JUST to speak to you.
• While it doesn't bother him per se, he would just really appreciate if he wouldn't get a neck cramp from constantly looking up at you just to form a proper conversation with you.
⋆˚✿˖° Iguro Obanai
• Well we have mister grumpers in the club /j
• He wasn't TOO ecstatic to hear that yet another woman was joining the Hashiras, two was already enough. You can blame him, his past was rough.
• it really doesn't help your height was unbelievably tall in his perspective, it somewhat reminded him of his past in a way, not a pleasant thought, he's aware.
• Though after seeing and observing your moves, it seemed you weren't that bad. To him, you had pure intentions like any other Hashiras, but still refused to speak to you.
• The first few interactions with him was just him speaking to you in a sharp and stern manner, it honestly made you feel intimidated and unwanted, but oh well.
• Kyojuro informed you one day that Obanai struggles with women due to his past and kindly asked that you take it easy with him. You knew there was more to it, but you didn't want to pry any further as it wasn't in Kyojuro's place to speak.
• So, as asked, you decided to soften up your approach with him but also make it seem that you're ecstatic. even when you're quite literally intimidated to your core.
• Things just escalated from there, it took a while for Obanai to actually be gentle towards you, but at least you gained his respect the few days you interacted with him.
• Your height doesn't bother him, he's just simply neutral about it after learning you as a person and your personality. It makes you seem strong, and he genuinely likes it that way.
⋆˚✿˖° Shinazugawa Sanemi
• Similarly to Muichiro, he didn't really pay any mind to you. Yes, even with your extraordinary height, he didn't really care.
• Honestly just trying to get a proper conversation is tough, what more if you want to capture his attention? Sanemi is a tough nut to crack, after all.
• Luckily for you, you were also pretty stubborn headed! And you genuinely wanted to befriend Sanemi.
• Many, many attempts has been made. I mean many. That man is so angry all the time, it leaves you baffled sometimes. But that won't stop you, would it?
• Inevitably, Sanemi warmed up to you. Unwillingly, in his words. He noticed your company wasn't so bad, and you were quite the attractive one.
• In many and similar cases, no one in the corps was as tall as you. In the current era, females are known to be short, so he took that feat or yours in mind.
• Your height doesn't bother or irritate him, similarly to Obanai, he's just neutral about it. He's able to speak with you eye to eye easily otherwise he didn't care.
⋆˚✿˖° Kocho Shinobu
• She was quite happy and satisfied that yet another member was promoted into a Hashira, hearing someone that's willing to risk their lives for the safety of others brings her heart and mind at peace.
• Meeting you, she somewhat felt safe. Perhaps because your height reminded you of her older sister and your aura was comforting, it was admirable in her eyes.
• In a few months, Shinobu was greatly close to you, choosing to open up about her tragic past and her sense of hatred for a specific demon, you understood her rage and grief.
• There was something about you that Shinobu couldn't explain, you were so approachable for her and she feels extremely secured as long as you're around. It was an odd feeling Shinobu is experiencing, indeed.
• Shinobu knew she didn't need any protection, she knew she was capable of herself. But asking for help isn't so bad either, whether it'd be emotionally or mentally.
• Your height is something Shinobu loves yet envies. She envies you for being blessed with your height and she feels so small compared to you, yet she loves your height because it just makes you so eye-catching, it makes you stand out.
⋆˚✿˖° Uzui Tengen
• Oh we already know he's super excited to hear about the said new Hashira.
• An odd ball, he was. Constantly talking about being flamboyant and being flashy.. Your first impression on him was amusing to say the least.
• He was really respectful though, so that's additional points to your already amusing first impression. He even complimented your height, saying it's an attractive height for a lady.
• Missions with him felt like a breeze, with his carefree personality, it just feels like you're both playing some game with the demons. It's also quite cool he can easily blend in the shadows, so that's yet another additional points.
• Meeting his wives were even CRAZIER, you didn't expect him to literally THREE wives?! But you three soon became super duper close.
• Your height doesn't bother him at all, with his height? You're still small in his eyes, just a few inches taller than the usual ladies. Similarly with many, he finds your height very, very attractive.
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✮ ⋆ ˚。 Finish !⋆。°✩ made by MISTIFIC please do not repost anywhere else!
╰┈➤ MASTERLIST HERE
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sk-lumen · 2 months ago
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High Value Woman Formula: The 4 Key Pillars
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Are you passionate about leveling up, but find yourself daunted by the overwhelming list on how to become a high value woman?
Don’t fret, you’re probably not the only one! It may sound complicated at first glance, but when you truly understand what it’s about, the high value woman formula is… quite simple.
In this article, I will show you an easy and concise roadmap to becoming the woman of your own dreams.
Let’s get started.
Pillar #1: Body
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Much like Maslow’s pyramid, in order to have a mind that is clear, a heart that is at peace, and a soul that is fulfilled, you need to first attend to your basic physical needs (and not only).
Getting enough hours of sleep
A healthy diet
Fitness & exercise
Haircare
Nails
Skin
Dental health
Make-up
Pillar #2: Mind
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Next ingredient in the high value woman formula is polishing your mind.
Upgrading your looks and physical health is great, but if you don’t follow it up with a mindset glow up, you’ll find yourself repeating the same mistakes, and bumping into the same limiting beliefs and bad habits.
Planning goals and keeping track of them
Improving your mindset / develop a growth mindset
Confidence
Embrace failure
Reading extensively to broaden your mind and your education (includes financial education)
Courses, trainings and masterclasses
Listening to podcasts
Watching TedTalks or insightful documentaries (if you’re curious about my recs for TedTalks/documentaries, let me know in comments below)
Pillar #3: Heart
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So you’ve leveled up your appearance, improved your mind, now what? Now it’s all about your heart and your emotions. Think about all the things that nurture your emotional dimension and makes you feel appreciated, seen and heard!
Building a support system (friends, family, therapy)
Therapy
Healing your attachment style
Journaling
Self Love
Setting boundaries
Being your authentic self
Speaking your truth
Embracing your journey
Feeling & processing your emotions
Pillar #4: Soul
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Last but not least, I’m a spiritual woman, and these are my personal beliefs which some may or may not resonate with. If that’s the case and you’re happy with just the 3 first pillars, that’s perfectly valid and you can skip this section.
But I do believe you have to take care of your soul. You can have the looks, the money and your self-concept in line, but you might still feel empty, unfulfilled, like something is missing from your life… if you ignore the spiritual aspect.
For the girlies that need a deeper connection to the divine, to God, the universe, here are a few action steps.
Joining a community that resonates with you
Prayer
Yoga
Meditation
Various spiritual practices that align with your beliefs
Detoxing from social media, toxic people or environments
Conclusion
What do you think about this list, did you find it helpful? Are there any essentials you’d add to the list? Let me know in the comments below.
This is a topic I believe many women (and not only) would benefit from, and I’m passionate about helping my readers become their best selves.
So, I’m currently working on an in-depth guide that expands on this topic/article, complete with practical steps you can implement in your daily life, in order to become a High Value Woman.
💖 If you want to be the first to hear about the HVW ebook's launch make sure to join my Soultribe! 💖
🎀 More glow up articles and guides on sklumen.com 🎀
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omegapropaganda · 2 months ago
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🎉1k Kudos🎉
Y'all! I cannot believe this! Burnt Honey has over a thousand kudos! To celebrate there's a sneak peak below the cut of some light smut from Chapter 10! (like always with the sneak peaks there is a chance of things changing as I finish the chapter since this is still very much a work in progress)
I cannot express enough how much I appreciate every single one of y'all and the response to this story 🥲 And I'm super thankful that y'all have been so patient while I focus on all my personal life things happening. I hope that within the next few weeks I'll be back home and fingers crossed have time to work on finishing this chapter ♡
“Seillean,” Soap’s voice was sweet and soft as he spoke into your ear. “Can Ah have a kiss?” 
It was a bit of a stretch to angle your head just right to catch Soap’s lips, but it was totally worth it. The kiss was a little rough, his chapped lips scraping slightly over your sensitive skin, but you didn’t mind. He tasted just as good as he smelled and you wondered why it had taken you so long to kiss the beta.
You let Soap dominate the kiss, content to simply exist in this space of want and acceptance created by your pack. You sent up a quick prayer of thanks to whatever power was in control of your life for putting you in the path of these two men.
Without them there’s no telling where you would be. You never would’ve been able to stand up to Graves without their support. The thought made your eyes sting with unshed tears and your omega was scratching at the surface wanting to take comfort in its pack. You let it out without a second thought.
In an instant it was met again by the alpha and the beta, joining together with playful joy.
Your neck was starting to ache at the odd angle you were holding to continue kissing Soap, and the novelty of Ghost’s lazy licks against your armpit had worn off. You wanted more, and you wanted it now.
You pushed at the top of Ghost’s head, trying to get him to move, but all you got was a warning growl from the alpha.
“Bad dog!” Soap growled back as he flicked a finger hard into the part of Ghost’s forehead that he could reach.
Ghost reared back as fast as lightning, his eyes still unfocused and dazed, drunk on the taste of you, before blinking it away. A deep blush covered his cheeks as he looked at you sheepishly from under his lashes. “Sorry, luv. Are ya okay?”
“Yeah, I was just starting to get a crick in my neck.”
Relief filled his scent and settled over you like a blanket, before his expression turned a little more on the mischievous side. “Want me t’ kiss it better?”
Soap let out a loud laugh, before pushing you up towards Ghost. “Go on. The man’s insatiable. Ah cannae blame him, want tae taste you forever, but me Gran always said it’s rude not tae share.” 
Now Ghost brought your back to his chest, and his mouth got to work tasting the slightly swollen scent gland at the side of your neck. This time he wasn’t as gentle, the power of your scent here driving his alpha over the edge. He was careful not to use his teeth, but his sucking kisses were no doubt leaving bruises that would take days to heal. 
Your beasts hadn’t stopped their play the whole time, tails wagging and chasing each other around your mind's eye, but getting rougher each time the beta or alpha caught your omega. Soon they would devolve into nothing more than yips and snarls, all claws and teeth, fighting to gain power over you.
Your eyes settled on Soap as he licked his fingers before bringing them to his core. Two fingers on each side of the flushed nub of his cock as his thumb started up a slow tempo up and down.
“See what you do to him?” Ghost said as he finally let up on the sucking kisses he was leaving on your scent gland. His eyes zeroed in on the way you licked your lips as you stared at Soap’s wet core. “Ya want t’ suck ‘is cock, Vicious?”
“Yeah,” you panted, not taking your eyes off Soap.
“Ya have t’ make ‘im beg for it. Our Johnny’s so pretty when ‘e begs.”
“Ghost, come oan, dinnae make me beg!” Soap whined, but he never let up the light friction of his thumb on his cock. 
“See, ‘e already started and ya haven’t even done anythin’ yet.”
You looked between the two men for reassurance and scented the air to check for any thing out of the unusual in Soap’s scent, but all you found was a cloud heavy with want. 
“Please, Cinder.” Soap whispered, voice deep and needy, giving you a taste of what kind of sounds you could pull from the other man. That thought alone sent a shiver down your spine and had your leaking cock throbbing.
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alessiamalfoyzabini · 9 months ago
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Dark Moon | Chapter Twelve
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Pairing | yandere!Jimin x Reader
Word Count | 1,7k
Warnings | +18, angst, mentions of childhood abuse, references to rape, torture, beatings, outbursts of anger, death of a background character, MC is having a really hard time, murder(?), triggering content, this is not for minor.
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This fanfiction is yandere, if you don't like the genre, don't read and if you are not of age, don't read.
I don't want to hear any complaints in the comments, thank you.
This does not reflect my way of thinking or living at all, it is just a work of fiction, it is like watching a horror movie, many of us love horror movies, but we would never dream of what we see in those movies happening in reality as well.
Simply put, this story was written for entertainment purposes, it should not be seen as a reflection of my values, opinions or morals. I absolutely do not condone such acts.
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⤷ Summary | She just wanted to escape her past, take charge of her life and break out of her steel cage, praying in God for a miracle that could change her life for good.
And her prayers were heard, but it was not the Divine that answered her.
That was certainly the devil in the guise of an angel, she thought as those corrupted and empty eyes searched her soul with extreme voracity.
He turned a sweet, false smile on her, before pushing her into the abyss.
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➢ Author's Note | In this chapter Jimin finds out what really happened to MC in the past 💔I recommend reading to a +18 audience, let me know what you think of course! It always makes me very happy to read your comments 🥹💕
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Taglist: @katherine-kookie, @dragons-flare, @m00njinnie, @seokjins-luigi, @pjmsneverland, @jimincrystal, @ajkwww, @ungodlyjoon, @hecateslittlewitchling, @namjoonsbuspass, @darkuni63, @xicanacorpse, @jiminismine4ever, @btssimpjaneth, @antisocial-mochi267
Taglist is open!
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Chapter List - Previous - Next
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He would have wanted to vomit.
Their men were on Minho's trail, but the bastard had so much property in Korea that it was like looking for a needle in a haystack; what was certain was that he was no longer in town.
It had been five days since her disappearance, Jimin was not even eating anymore, so much were his nerves gnawing at him.
He would not even look Taehyung in the face. It was his job to take care of her and he had left her alone in revenge, no one was home to watch over her, no one.
At the mercy of herself and loneliness.
Just the thought lacerated Jimin in several places, the physical wounds were soon forgotten, the doctor who had been forced by Namjoon to examine Jimin, despite the latter's insistence that it was a waste of time, said the cuts were healing well. But Jimin did not care.
She was his fixed thought.
He was storming Choi hideouts, capturing and torturing members of his gang and allies, but no one knew Y/N, no one had captured her, and everyone did not have close relations with Minho, Jimin felt on the high seas.
Taehyung on his part had not stopped for a moment to carry out to the letter the directives Jimin gave him through Namjoon.
He felt terribly guilty.
With Jimin, and fuck, even with Y/N.
He had not appreciated the girl's gesture, not at all, and in those days he would have liked to use her as target practice, he would not have denied it, but objectively analyzing the situation it was normal that she would sooner or later react that way if pushed beyond her limits.
She still deserved punishment, but not death, and in Minho's hands she would have received both instead, he knew that very well and Jimin did too, an additional reason that drove his friend further and further into madness.
Seeing Jimin destroyed like that had made him realize that she was not just "Jimin's bitch," even if the boy did not admit it, she was "Jimin's woman." One of the family.
Perhaps the man himself still could not understand it, but Taehyung knew that soon Jimin would fully understand his feelings.
The man in question saw the door to his office at the Dark Moon open for Namjoon to appear, carrying a dark folder.
"Any news?" he asked wearily, rubbing his eyes.
"I have what you asked for," he replied, putting that folder on his desk, "I'll leave you alone, okay?"
He didn't want to invade Jimin's privacy, what he was going to read soon would not be easy to digest and he didn't want to witness the boy's weakness, Jimin would not stand for it.
Namjoon left the room in silence and Jimin was left alone with Y/N's past.
He hesitantly took those papers, aware that he was the one who had requested them, sighed before removing the rubber band.
L/N Y/N.
At last he knew her real name, with a strange feeling he continued to read each word carefully.
Her father and mother were foreigners, but they had resided in South Korea since Y/N's birth, who had not finished her studies due to lack of money.
But things got strange after the third page, there were complaints, many.
All made by the mother and all involving the same subject, Y/N.
But they were soon withdrawn.
Statements of bruises, physical and verbal abuse against the girl who at the time was only a ten-year-old girl, the mother accused her husband's brother, she said that he took advantage of the help he offered them to do things with the woman's underage daughter, she did not say explicitly what, she simply pinned Y/N's physical and mental injuries on the man, Mikkel, except that she later withdrew everything.
The authorities soon grew tired of that tirade, paid her no further heed, and ignored the latest complaint, dismissing it as the ramblings of a madwoman.
Jimin's hands trembled as he held the papers, finding a legal and authentic medical report proving sexual assault on Y/N, who was 13 years old. But no one had lifted a finger to help her, even though she was born in Korea she was the daughter of foreigners and bore no Korean surname, who cared about her?
Jimin's dark eyes glittered with fury as he dwelled on the name of the man who had made Y/N's childhood and adolescence a living hell, he now understood many things and felt disgusted with himself.
He too had repeatedly ignored her pleas for help, seeing her as an enemy to be put down and humiliated because she was a woman.
But she was not that kind of despicable, power-hungry woman; she was just a desperate girl.
A gasp went up his esophagus at remembering the despicable words about her virginity, not to mention what a bastard he had been while drunk that last time.
'Now you are no longer a virgin,' he had told her.
He had taken more purity from her without her permission, he felt like a monster.
And he laughed at himself, "You brought me to my knees, baby.... You did it," he said, slumping back against the chair.
"I don't know anything!"
Jimin glowered at the older man; he was as furious as a beast. It had been eight fucking days and still nothing from Y/N.
He was tired of that fucking game.
"I'm going to tell you again, you old ass-kisser, Choi Minho kidnapped my girlfriend and now you're going to tell me where he is right now, you're his fucking butler, you need to know that!" he ranted with his face transfigured with rage, kicking the chair on which the elderly man was tied, tipping it over furiously.
They had found the man in one of the last properties they had searched, it was an English-style mansion, the asshole had lavish fantasies.
"Mr. Choi never warns me about his moves-" a traumatic punch hit him right in the mouth, the old man found himself spitting blood and teeth.
"THEN YOU WILL MAKE ME A LIST OF THE PLACES WHERE YOUR BOSS IS USUALLY HIDING LIKE A SEWAGE RAT!" he ranted, hitting him again, Taehyung and Jungkook looked at him in amazement, never had Jimin lost his temper like that, "And pray that it's in one of them, because if you tease me and anything has happened to her, I'll rip your heart out with my bare hands," he hissed venomously with swollen neck veins.
"Jimin."
Seokjin watched the scene with folded arms and a serious look.
"What?" he did not turn to look at his boss, feeling dejected and tired, nervous and angry. He wanted to kill everyone.
"Calm down, that's not how we're going to find her."
"Yes, I will! I'll cut the throat of anyone who gets in the way, Jin!" he was beside himself, understood a good deal of his feelings, and wanted her back by his side as soon as possible.
He would never leave her alone again.
The insistent ringing of a phone interrupted the flow of his thoughts, he ignored the moans of the man on the ground and concentrated on Seokjin. The boy answered without thinking, and from his expression Jimin guessed that something had happened.
"...So you found the house?" Jimin instantly revived.
Like lightning he reached out and snatched the phone from Seokjin's hands, on the other side was Hoseok.
"Did you find her? Where, tell me where the fuck you are," he began to tar and feather him with questions and expletives until Hoseok could overpower his voice, "... I'll see you there, don't move a fucking muscle, Jung Hoseok," he ordered him, Jin voluntarily took back his phone shaking his head.
"Good job, Hoseok...no, do as he told you," he brought two fingers to his forehead trying to calm his headache, amplified by the prisoner's moans of pain.
He pulled his gun out of his classically cut jacket and fired two quick shots in the direction of the elderly man.
"Namjoon, go with him and prevent him from exposing himself too much, he is still wounded."
"You made me do it, princess," sighed Minho buttoning his pants once more, "If you had listened to me you wouldn't be like this now."
But Y/N was not listening to him, she had no voice left so much she had screamed, her expressionless eyes staring at everything and nothing.
The torture had continued every day, Minhyun beat her and Minho raped her, bringing her to the brink of death every single time when he clutched her neck in a death grip.
She had not eaten for days and was given water only when she did not shriek too much. Like a prize.
She was deeply distraught.
"Now you're boring me, though. Where the fuck is the Bangtan hideout, you know! Jimin would never keep so close to a mere escort, you must count for something to him!"
She counted for nothing to Jimin, otherwise he would have already found and rescued her. Jimin had gotten rid of a burden like her, Minho had done him a favor.
Hot tears slid disgustingly down her bruised face.
That thought hurt her more than any of Minhyun's punches, she had been used to the end, but now she had run out of batteries, she only prayed that with her sister, life had been more merciful and gentle.
"Mr. Choi!" Minhyun slammed the door of that prison alarmingly.
"Who taught you to enter like that!"
"Four of the Bangtans and their men are here," he said in a strained voice, the atmosphere in the room becoming heavy, "One of them is that bastard Park himself, he has already shot and taken out eight of our men at the entrance."
Y/N could see the trembling take over Minho's body, who licked his suddenly dry lips.
Her heart was beating incessantly, Jimin was there, he was there!
"We must leave, now!" exclaimed his bodyguard once again, Minho woke up and turned sharply toward the girl.
A strange expression was present on his face.
"Nothing personal, little girl... " he said before nodding to his henchman, who firmly grabbed his glock, "But the idea that Jimin might get you back doesn't appeal to me one bit," he ran out of the room like a coward, as the deafening sound of a gunshot ripped through the air, a sharp and terrifying sensation expanded from her chest to her nerves, she gaped her lips in a gasp, but blood rushed up her throat and blocked her attempt to catch her breath.
She was dying, really dying.
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thrashkink-coven · 1 month ago
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So i want to start my practice but unfortunately i don't have the tool incense tarot card pendulum and especially i still lived with my parent. The deity i want to work with is a demon from ars goetia andromalius, i already did the ritual but i Haven't got any respond what should i do?
I received this ask in June so you’ve probably already figured this out but keep on tryin!
If you don’t have access to tools like a pendulum or tarot cards you do still have the option to do some good old meditation on your demon’s sigil. In fact you’ll probably be doing this way more than using cards or other tools. All you need is a pen and a piece of paper. On the front you should write your demon’s sigil. Bonus points if you can find a coloured piece of paper or pen that you associate with them. For Leviathan I would probably use blue, whereas I’d probably use red for Asmoday and green for Belial.
On the back of the paper write a short petition or prayer. Be sure to address yourself by name (doesn’t have to be your legal name, just the name that you identify most with). Detail what exactly it is that you want from them and be precise about how you want them to manifest. If you hope to see them in your dreams write that down. If you just want some mundane sign that they’re listening write that down too.
For example: “To the Great Lord Lucifer, keeper of the hidden gnosis and liberator of all, I Shi, your loyal devotee, invoke your presence and healing light. I request that you appear to me in my dreams, in perfect human form. I wish to see your face and feel your warmth upon me. I wait patiently here, in this, your temple (referring to the altar) for your messages to touch my heart. So it shall be, as it has been, and shall be again.”
For first introductions it’s always a good idea to bring offerings. Something as simple as clean water is fine if you don’t have access to incense. A piece of fruit, a yummy pastry, or a piece of candy works too. Some demons are more particular than others, but they almost all unanimously appreciate alcohol. If you don’t have access to wine or rum, white vinegar also works.
Now, you can anoint the sigil with blood. I usually only do this for my patron who I trust and feel safe offering dna to. Some rituals will insist that you anoint all your sigils with blood but it’s not mandatory in my experience. A simple kiss can work, as can just charging the sigil in your hands. Focus all of your intention into the sigil until it almost seems to vibrate with energy. Then, when you feel ready, you can begin chanting their enn if they have one. If not, you can come up with your own mantra. For example, I wasn’t sure what invocation to use with Hermes, so I always just repeat “Holy Hermes, Holy Hermes, guide my spell.”
As you chant, focus your entire attention towards every syllable coming out of your mouth, feel your vocal cords vibrate as your intention becomes sound. I like to say Lucifer’s enn deep in my chest.
As you do, continue to stare at the sigil. There is a good chance you’ll experience some kind of imagery or physical sensation. If you see a terrifying face or a graphic image, do not freak out, this is very normal. Not all demons are pretty lol. You may altogether have an idea or voice enter into your mind out of seemingly nowhere, that is likely your demon responding. You can respond to them aloud or in your head. Try to stay focused on the sigil as you do, don’t think too hard about your answers.
As an added step you can attempt to do automatic writing. This is when you allow a demon to take control of the muscles in your hand to create a drawing or sentence on a piece of paper. Whilst holding the pencil, completely relax and continue to focus on your demon’s sigil. Don’t resist the subtle movements that occur involuntarily. Sometimes this can result in amazing communication and sometimes it results in a bunch of gibberish. It’s worth a shot but don’t be dismayed if it doesn’t work the first few times.
If you don’t see or feel anything, that’s okay, these things don’t always manifest right away. Do not beg your demon to show up. They find it very annoying. Continue the ritual for a few days until you get a sign. Pay very close attention to the subtle details in your life.
You should probably recreate the sigil every time you reach out rather than using the same one from last session. You’re also perfectly okay to destroy the sigil either by burning or just throwing it in the garbage. Be sure to say goodbye and close down the connection before you destroy the sigil. If you do get a solid communication, remember to say thank you.
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esotericpluto · 2 years ago
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your psychic abilities
from left to right; intuitively choose the pile you feel more connected to. To make it easier, you can take a deep breathe, close your eyes and ask for guidance to your deities or guides. These are all general messages, so just take what resonates and leave what doesn't. This reading is timeless. If it resonates, feedback is always appreciated and motivates to keep doing pick a card readings. You can donate here.
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pile 1
I'm getting clairvoyance 100% for most, if not all of you who chose this pile. If you are not yet aware of your clairvoyance, this means you still have some a bit of stuff to go through in order to develop it, but that developing the early stages will be quite easy for you.
Clairvoyance can come in many forms. For some of you, I feel like it will come mainly in dreams. You will be able to see entities trying to communicate through your dreams, you will see a lot of dream related symbolisms delivering you messages and guidance or straight up seeing the future through it. If it has ever happened to you to dream about something, even if small, than that happens, that is a sign of your clairvoyance.
For some of you, I'm also getting that you might develop it to see images related to your messages or straight up seeing some images of your future that will be sent to you by your guides as warnings, so pay attention to that.
I see some people may be able to see auras or even, in some cases, when developed enough, to see spirits. For people who will be able to see spirits, this could be only through your mind but I do feel like a small minority here might be able to see them as they would see another human being. For those people, I recommend using protection spells/sigils and protective elements and to try to keep your energy clear. Learning how to control the ability will take a while, but it should be done to protect you as seeing spirits all the time would not be the healthiest for you.
I feel like a good way for you to develop this will be starting guided meditations and guided visualizations exercises. Trying to astral project and lucid dream for some of you can also be really useful, especially if you have the dream related abilities. Looking at art and trying to interpret it, as well as scrying in mirrors, water or crystal balls can also help you develop these skills. I feel like for some of you, putting your feet in salt water can also really help.
I see some of you will be able to help people with their past lives too, by accessing them and seeing them.
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pile 2
I see your powers are talking and potentially hearing too for some of you. The hearing would count as clairaudience.
The talking here feels like you have a true power to heal people through your words. You might be able to communicate with animals and/or make them understand you somehow, the same can go for children and babies.
I see like some of you are able to guide lost spirits to the afterlife with your words and prayers, so you can use this ability to help them.
Overall, I feel like your prayers and affirmations are really powerful, almost working like a charm or spell. You should research about chants, prayers, affirmations and incsntations as they will help you a lot and manifest the things you want very quickly, even if all you want is something like protection. Your gift also works for others, so you can use this anility to help others.
I feel like you can work on developing your hearing senses. You might be someone with a good hearing in general. You will be able to channel messages from your guides and other people's guides and these messages will help you. Trust the messages that you receive as they will keep you safe.
You might also hear some interference in technology or music stopping/not playing properly when spirits are around. You might also sometimes hear frequencies or music that isn't coming from earth. This is also a way for spirits to communicate with you.
Some of you might also be gifted in speaking publicly or know how to use words very well when talking to other people in general. I feel like you know how to get what you want out of conversations with people and easily make them feel understood and calm.
Some of you also have this gift extend to nature, trees, flowers. You might have a green thumb because of this, as your energy and words can help plants grow beautifully. Have you seen that experiment of how plants grow when you talk positively towards them vs. how plants grow when you talk negatively to them? This is similar to it in a way.
Ways for you to develop these gifts would be listening to music, not neccessarily the music you always listen to, but those vibrational music videos you can find on youtube, as it will help you a lot to clear your mind and allow entities to talk to you. Volunteering at an animal shelter could also really help you, as well as spending time with nature. I feel like meditating can also help you a lot amd you could use those "communicate with guides" meditations, as that will train you to communicate with them and receive messages. Looking at yourself in the mirror, for some reason, can also help, especially if you affirm good things while doing so.
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pile 3
I see most of you can be really talented when it comes to telepathy and able to know what someone else is feeling/thinking. Clair wise, I'm feeling clairsentience and claircognizance the most here.
I also feel like some of you are really talented spell casters and witches. You would really benefit from channeling strong spiritual energies or settong your intentions through spells or general rituals/offerings.
I am seeing many of you can teach people how to improve themselves or other valuable lessons in life. Some of you could even have a karma bringer quality to you and a lot of wisdom that was granted by guides and ancestors who protect you.
I feel like with your intuition, clairsentience and claircognizance, you might be really good at figuring out people's intentions and true personas and are rarely ever wrong about it. You are good with energies and usually are able to decipher them with time. Some of you could also be mediums and communicate with spirits or really good astrologers.
I feel like some of you could be great at divination and tarot reading, so that could be something to consider or work on expanding. I feel like you will find some decks that you really connect with, I mainly am seeing a deck with a black cover and maybe with witchy vibes, but it might change for some of you.
I also feel like some of you will feel some affinity with aquatic animals, maybe even with mythological ones like sirens, selkies, mermaids. This could also mean that you have a great talent for charming and seducing others using your energy.
I'm feeling like readings books about spirituality, psychic abilities and divination will help you a lot to take the first steps to develop this. I feel like lighting up a candle and focusing on the flame until you feel in a trance can also help you to achieve deeper meditative states and your intuition. For some of you, this can also be done by looking into the sea or water in general. Plants can lift up your mood and energy, so consider getting a plant if you don't have one yet. You can also try telepathy exercises and reading for people to train your abilities.
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skogjeger · 7 months ago
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Connecting and Working with Deities ❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ 
‧₊˚.  : · •.  * • ˚   . · * ✶   : · •  *   ˚ ✵
In a previous post, I opened up about the idea of compiling a list outlining ways to establish a connection and work with deities. So here are some ideas of how you can connect with deities and or worship/work with them. Mind you, these are just suggestions, so there isn't a wrong nor right way on how you want to connect with deities. It is whatever feels comfortable and feels comfortable with the deity you are wanting to have a connection with.
𖤣𖥧˚ Research & Learn
Study Mythology: Study mythological material to understand the particular deity's background and their connections with their circle. Mythology can help understand attributes, symbols, or the history. As a note though, how a deity is predicted in mythology might not even come close to how they actually behave.
Understand Cultural Context: Learn about the cultural and historical context of the deity; how they were worshipped in the past, how others in a particular culture worked with them and showed appreciation and or admiration.
𖤣𖥧˚ Create an Altar or Sacred Space
Set Up an Altar: Create a dedicated space with images, statues, symbols, and offerings related to the deity. And if you're wanting to take a cheap approach, doing a digital altar works too!
Sacred Objects: Include items that are sacred to the deity, such as crystals, herbs, or special artifacts pertaining to that deity.
𖤣𖥧˚ Offerings
Food & Drink: Offer foods and drinks that are favorable and or were common as an offering to the deity. It can range to anything like candy, beer, wine, coffee, hot chocolate, water, meat, fruit, etc.
Incense & Candles: Light incense or candles as offerings. Bonus would be that the scent/colour correlates to the deity, but this is entirely optional.
Flowers & Other Natural Offerings: Place flowers, stones, leaves, or other natural items on your altar.
𖤣𖥧˚ Artistic Creations
Create Art: Draw, paint, sculpt, or engage in any artistic endeavor that honours and or shows appreciation for the deity.
Music & Dance: Sing, play music, make music, or dance in a way that celebrates the deity.
Writing & Poems: Write a short-story, your interactions, and or poems dedicated to that deity.
𖤣𖥧˚ Divination and Signs
Divination Tools: Use tools like tarot cards, runes, scrying, or other forms of divination to seek guidance from the deity. If you are using tarot cards, what helps is looking at the major arcana cards to see which deity it is associated to.
Look for Signs: Be open to receiving signs and messages, and or look out for anything that is consistent but out of the ordinary.
𖤣𖥧˚ Study and Practice Corresponding Disciplines
Learn Related Skills: For example, if the deity is associated with healing, study and practice healing arts. If the deity is related to death, you can do funeral donations to help the bereaved.
𖤣𖥧˚ Rituals and Ceremonies
Seasonal Celebrations: Participate in or create rituals and ceremonies that align with the deity's sacred times, such as solstices, equinoxes, or specific festivals.
Personal Rituals: Develop your own rituals that feel meaningful and appropriate for your connection with the deity.
𖤣𖥧˚ Meditation and Visualization
Meditate: Find a quiet place, clear your mind, and focus on the deity. Visualize their form, symbols, and presence. If silence doesn't do too well, you can play a song that you think would be a good representation to the deity.
Guided Imagery: Use guided meditations specifically designed for connecting with deities.
𖤣𖥧˚ Prayer and Invocation
Pray Regularly or When Needed: Establish a daily or regular practice of prayer. Speak from the heart or use traditional prayers and hymns. You can either keep your prayers formal or casual, whatever feels right and appropriate.
Invoke the Deity: Call upon the deity's presence through chants, mantras, or specific invocations. You can either do this in your mind or call out loud.
𖤣𖥧˚ Join a Community
Find Like-minded People: Join groups or communities that honour and work with the same deity. It can be through Discord, Tumblr, or wherever—online or physical.
Attend Ceremonies: Participate in communal worship, festivals and gatherings.
𖤣𖥧˚ Tips for the Practice
Respect: Always approach with respect and sincerity.
Consistency (or Flexibility): Build a regular practice to deepen your connection, and even if it's not daily, there's always a flexible approach.
Intuition: Trust your intuition and personal experiences.
Adaptability: Be open to changing your methods as you grow and learn more.
Remember, the key is to develop a relationship that feels genuine and meaningful to you in whatever means possible.
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selfpositiveundertale · 2 months ago
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Long sad post. My husband and I are in mourning and it's rough.
It is with a heavy and broken heart I must announce that the other night we had to say goodbye to our kitten Sterling Cowboy. He was named after Sterling Archer from the TV show Archer since my husband loves that show and Cowboy Absher from the podcast Old Gods Of Appalachia since I'm obsessed with it and listen to the stories over and over.
Sterling had something really wrong with his brain and it had suddenly gotten worse despite our best efforts. We rushed him to the ER vet but there wasn't really anything they could do that would let him have a good quality of life even if he could have survived the weekend, so we said goodbye. We are having him cremated and the remains returned to us in a nice wooden box.
My husband and I are both absolutely heartbroken about it. I've seen him cry many times over the 15 years we've been together, but I've never seen him cry as hard as he did over losing Sterling. It really hit him hard, even harder than when his beloved cat he had for 6 years that loved him more than most dogs love their humans passed away. We've spent a lot of time crying into each other's arms since Friday night. We're going to miss our precious little demon kitty baby and all his tiny violence and his pretty brown eyes. We'd never seen a kitty with brown eyes before this wonderful, unique little baby.
He was never even guaranteed to make it past the first day my husband found him, the vet I first took him to wasn't expecting him to last the night with how malnourished and dehydrated he was, not to mention he had a heart murmur, but he had nearly four months of love and comfort and food and safety in our home. He never wanted to bottle feed, which was strange considering he had to be maybe 3 weeks old at the most when my husband found him, he wanted wet food immediately(though we mixed kitten milk replacement into it) and turned out to be a messy eater until he learned how to eat without getting his food all over his face and paws. We had to help him go to the bathroom at first, until he learned to do it on his own, and he figured out the litter box immediately. He grew so much, going from just .4 lbs that first day to 3.5 lbs on the last.
He spent his first and last moments in our lives being held by my husband, in his shirt pocket in the beginning and in his arms swaddled in a towel at the end, and some of his early days being carried around in a crochet pouch around my neck so I wouldn't have to leave him unattended when he was too little to be alone.
We loved that baby so so much and he knew it and he loved us too. Even when he was being rambunctious and chaotic and biting and scratching in his playfulness, he would still be purring and blinking slowly at us, and he loved to be held and cradled like a baby or held in anything resembling a pocket or pouch, such as the hood of a hoodie worn backwards. He would literally climb both me and my husband, latching on with his little claws whether we had clothes on or not, so he could scale our frames because he wanted to be held. We are both scratched up from the neck down as a result of his climbing and playful scratching, but those will heal much quicker than our hearts.
Enjoy some of my favorite pics of him. We will have the last one printed out and put inside the paw print keepsake we were given and it is also my lock screen now on my phone. I'm also considering doing an artist rendition of it and getting it tattooed on me at some point. It's our favorite of all of them, he's just like
ʘ⁠👅ʘ
and it's so precious. We love it. It makes us smile through our tears to see it.
Good vibes, thoughts, prayers, whatever you got, is appreciated. We had such a short time with Sterling but it was so full of love and memories and it hurts so much now that he's gone. If I can think of a meme to make, I'll make one. It might help me feel better if I can do what I've done before and write a kind message of words I need to hear and put them on an image of a beloved character.
Sterling was a feisty fighter from the very beginning up until he couldn't anymore. Even through recovering from malnourishment, the time he sprained his paw, the time he bruised his chest, and the first time his brain issues surfaced and made us rush him to the ER vet, he fought and had so much attitude and spark packed into his little body like dynamite that he recovered every time. But this time he just couldn't.
Stay determined. I'm trying to. It hurts, but I'm trying.
❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩶🩶🩶
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indynerdgirl · 1 year ago
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My friend's brand new baby girl, Vianney, who was born on Sept 1st, has been in the NICU since Thursday (Sept 14th) and has just been diagnosed with hemimegalencephaly. It's a rare, non-hereditary genetic mutation that caused a malformation of one side of her brain, causing seizures. She'll have to stay in the hospital for several more weeks while they try to get her seizures to slow down. She needs brain surgery but has to make it to 6 months before she can have it. Unless a miracle happens, she will need special care her whole life.
I work for the Little Sisters of the Poor and one of the sisters has suggested we start a novena asking for the intercession of the newly beatified Ulma Family, particularly asking for the special intercession of their unborn baby that was beatified with them, for a complete healing of Vianney.
I would greatly appreciate it if you could spread the word to everyone you know, asking them to help pray for a miracle for little Vianney and her family.
Parents are Jennifer & Shad, and Vianney has two older sisters, Cecilia & Zelie.
Prayer for the Intercession of the Ulma Family
Almighty and eternal God,
we thank You for the testimony of the heroic love of the spouses Józef and Wiktoria with their children, who gave their lives to save persecuted Jews.
May their prayers and example support families in Christian life and help everyone to follow the true path of holiness.
Lord, if it is in accordance with Your will, kindly grant the grace for the complete healing of little Vianney, for which we are asking You through their intercession and count them among the Blessed.
Through Christ Our Lord
Amen
Our Father..., Hail Mary..., Glory Be...
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bloodlessbelmounte · 4 months ago
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Eternity Will Bring You Near - Chapter 1
Masterlist
Summary:
Wade understood that Logan was from a world where Alpha, Beta and Omega were everyday terms, not exclusive to red-pilled incel fuckheads who kept inventing new performative male genders. Wade would've been classified as a Beta. Logan, however, was an Alpha - Wade's read enough fanfiction and yaoi manga to know what that means. Though it doesn't explain why Logan keeps sniffing him.
Pairing: Alpha!Worst Wolverine/Deadpool
Genre: A/B/O, Smut, Domestic-ish
Warnings: A/B/O Dynamics, Blood, Mild Gore/Body Horror, Masturbation, Additional warnings to be added as more chapters are uploaded.
Beginning Note: This was originally meant to be a crackfic but the bitch decided to become a multichapter project instead. I never thought I would get brain rot this severe over a movie of all things. The toxic old man yaoi really is a hell of a drug.
Cross posted to AO3
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Heya kiddos- well actually no I hope you’re not kiddos. The following events aren’t exactly G-rated. Scratch that, not G-rated in the slightest. See the author’s girlfriend asked them if they had written anything gay before because and I quote “You’re the type of person I imagine would – you are very gay” and was very surprised to find her partner had, in fact, not written gay porn for a rabid audience (though they once wrote reader insert smut for one of the most rabid fan-bases – BTS anyone?). Lucky for her, the author’s autistic ass is currently hyper-fixated on my movie and has watched it twice. Now I know what you’re thinking: another re-imagining of the icon and highly erotic Honda Odyssey scene that the Tumblr girlies are going feral over? Sadly no, there are over a hundred-and-sixty interpretations of that situationship on AO3 already and the author is not up to that task. Self-conscious and insecure fuckface they are. Oh b-t-dubs, this will have mixed perspectives. So without further ado, let’s fucking do this. Maximum effort.
Deadpool didn’t imagine his epic team-up with his hero of heroes to end this way. With his noble self-sacrifice, blue anti-matter coiled around his wrist, coursing through his veins and dismantling him atom by atom and him helplessly reaching for the matter contained on the other side of this fucking bridge. No, to be honest, he imagined it ending with maybe a few drinks in a bar to celebrate victory before trying to convince Wolverine to hate fuck him. When have things ever gone his way?
You will never save the world. Ya couldn’t even save a relationship with a god damn stripper.
“Not now, flashbacks.”
Grunts of effort and pain as he was on the verge of dislocating his shoulder to just fucking reach the other fucking side. He had to save them. Give Peanut the restart he deserved. Give this world the hero it deserved. Madonna’s ‘Like a Prayer’ was ringing through his ears as he knew he needed a miracle. And just like a prayer answered, Wolverine was right there with him, gripping tightly to his reaching hand and bridging the gap. He had a few precious seconds to appreciate the washboard glistening abs that were explosively -gloriously- exposed to his greedy eyes before Madonna and the pain crescendoed. Oh, what he would’ve done to at the very least get a bit of frottage from that meal of a man. Deadpool and Wolverine’s shouts of agony as energy tore through them intermingled, part of the chorus only he could hear.
White. Everything was white. Burning hot and blinding. Then there was…
Nothing. No pain. No heat. Just weightlessness.
Until his body collided with a wall with a thunk and sprawled onto the ground. He couldn’t get up immediately, his healing factor working overtime to patch up the spider webbing network of atomised damage. Once the pain was tolerable enough, Deadpool stumbled up to his feet with gritted teeth. What did people say? Pain lets you know you are still alive. Well, he was definitely alive then. The smoke and debris in the air made it hard to breathe let alone see through his mask, that wouldn’t do. Ripping the miraculously intact material off, Wade idly wondered why his clothes were fine. Did the universe decide he was too much of an eyesore to strip? Or more logically, Logan’s metal skeleton made him more conductive. Shit.
Wade scanned the destroyed room, trying to catch a glimpse of neon yellow. Panic seeped in when he couldn’t immediately spot the older mutant. Please don’t be vaporised.
“Wolvie? Peanut?!”
A groan came from across the other side of the wreckage. Groaning was good. Groaning – in this case – meant pain or annoyance, which meant functional nervous system. Good. Good. Now, how to get across. Bridge is out of the question, it’s royally fucked. Which left clambering over crumbled walls that blocked the walkways. Goal set, Wade navigated his way over to roughly where he heard the groan emanate from, muscles protesting the whole time. Bright yellow peaked out from underneath the rubble. Logan’s knee to be precise. Wade sighed.
“Maximum effort.”
Wade got to work, moving aside the bricks that had landed on top of his partner, revealing a barely lucid Wolverine and- Holy shit. Big fuck off piece of metal shelving right through the stomach. Wade was pretty sure the only reason Logan wasn’t bisected was because of those metal bones of his.
“Take a deep breath, Honey Badger, this is going to hurt worse than the reviews for the Borderlands movie. Can you believe they’ve gotten a nine percent critics score on Rotten Tomatoes while we have a seventy-eight? They weren’t too happy about all the rectal stabbings. Have they not heard of queer allegory? Though we’re ninety-five from audiences. Must be all the sexual tension between us.”
As Wade was prattling on – partly running his mouth as always and partly to distract Logan – he unsheathed his katanas and slotted them into the wound and wiggled them under the metal.
“The fuck are y’doing, Bub?” Logan seethed through gritted teeth, trying to sit up only to be pushed back down again by the merc.
See Wade wasn’t always an idiot- “Hey I take offence to that.” -but he could have a smart idea every once in a while, such as now. Knowing that he did not possess the strength to pull out - “My pull-out game is strong I’ll have you know.” - the sheet of metal, a proper application of force would allow him to lever it out. Taking turns with what katana he pushed down on, he eventually worked the shelf out far enough for him to straddle the other man’s lap and rip it out the rest of the way with a wet squelch. Next to come out were his beloved weapons which he wiped in his elbow crease then re-sheathed.
Immediately Logan’s thatched lickable abs started to knit themselves back together. And Wade couldn’t stop his hands from wandering; tracing up his chest and neck to grab those blowjob handles, lean down, and finally kiss the crotchety old fuck like he’d been dying to for the past seventy-two hours. Because in for a penny in for a pound, who knows if he’d see him again when all is said and done. Logan went stiff beneath him and Wade froze in place, knowing in his bones that he was going to get pushed off. But then Logan relaxes and his arms wrap around Wade’s waist to pull him closer, his tongue sweeps across the seem of scarred lips asking for entry. Which is enthusiastically granted. Blood and iron assaults Wade’s taste buds as teeth knock and tongues dance. Of course, being over two hundred would make Wolvie a great kisser, the man wasn’t contractually allowed a flaw under Disney. As much as Wade would have loved to carry on sloppily making out and maybe slip his hand down what remains of Logan’s suit, he knew that even though he wouldn’t mind beating the crap out of a bureaucrat with a raging hard-on, the man beneath him probably would. And so semi-reluctantly Wade broke away with a sigh, Logan’s hands shifting to lightly grasp his hips.
“We should show that motherfucker upstairs just how alive we are.”
Of course, you gays, gals, and non-binary pals know what happens after that. We march our asses up to those pencil pushers resulting in two iconic lines – one of which is an Oscar-worthy delivery of my favourite word. There were some extreme levels of sexual tension between B-15 and Peter, Logan and I regenerate my timeline meaning my plan fucking worked and Logan got to stay here. We also got a fat stack of compensation each for our efforts. Now we cut to shawarma and see things from a grumpy puppy’s perspective.
Logan knew to expect some differences between this universe and his original such as there still being living X-men. And he knew that there was the fundamental difference of a lack of secondary sexes here but the distinct absence of pheromones everywhere made the air here seem… cleaner? Almost overwhelming in its purity. The scent of pollution, of food being prepared, of dog piss on the pavement undiluted. No Alphas peacocking. No Omegas trying to suppress and get by. Just “average” people living average lives. Like what was happening in front of him.
Logan, with arms crossed over and leaning against a wall, watched in amusement (not that he’d ever admit to it) as Wade went to place his order at the shawarma place he had led him to.
“I’ll have one beedo beedo, a chocobo supreme, and a mountain boo bah. What would you like Honey Badger?” Wade asked his elbow on the counter top, head resting on his hand as his body was turned to face his partner, ignoring how the server was looking at him like he’d grown three heads.
“Sir, this is a shawarma joint, we only do shawarma here. I have no idea what a beedo beedo is-” The kid behind the counter tried to inform the ADHD-riddled regenerator only to be met with a finger over his lips as he was promptly shushed.
“We do the talking sweetums, you just be a little patient. Wolvie? Anything in mind?”
Some rest would be a good start, then a shower and bottle of whiskey. An explanation on that kiss back there. But food was a good start.
“Ignore his ramblings, he’s had multiple head injuries over the last few days. We’ll have two beef and one chicken, all the salad. Obviously tarator sauce in the beef and toum in the chicken. As for drinks, give us whatever beer y’d recommend.” Logan noticed Wade’s jaw drop out the corner of his eye as he rattled off a proper order. The kid behind the counter pushed the finger on his lips away and nodded, inputting the order and printing off the details to pass to the cook. “What? Did y’think I’d never had this before?”
Wade blinked at him, “Well… uh… to be honest yeah. Didn’t take you for the adventurist foodie type.”
“Need I remind y’of just how old I am, Bub? I was around when immigrants introduced this to the country.”
“Oh, so you’re the original trendsetter for your universe. Speaking of, I’ve seen the fanfictions and read the yaoi, did your world have fated pairs and heat cycles? Do male Omegas just have a dick and ass or do they have a vagina too? Or did they just have a vagina? Did you have to take suppressors for your ‘Alpha Ruts’ to reign in your primal instincts?” Wade’s eyes shone with curiosity as he fired off questions, “Oh are we going to have to deal with those now that you’re in residence here? Maybe I should ask that TVA lady to get you like an inter-dimensional prescription.”
Logan sighed and rubbed his face, he had been expecting this line of questioning. Honestly, he had expected them to occur in the Void after Wade got offended for being called a beta-
“What in the Andrew Taint bullshit is that? They have toxic masculinity red-pillers in your world too? And you’re one of them? For shame Logi Bear. That’s why you’re the Worst Wolverine.”
-and the subsequent misunderstanding was cleared up. At least in the Void, there were fewer witnesses.
“In order: Yes to both. Dick and Ass. Yes, it’s a pain to get by without them or a partner. And that’s all I’m telling y’because it doesn’t affect you.”
“That’s no fun. I need the juicy deets,” Suddenly Wade gasped and pointed at him, “Do you knot?! Bite on the nape of the neck? Oh, I think I might just pop a chub at this rate.”
Logan growled standing straight and emitting his pheromones on instinct, “Enough. As I said it doesn’t affect y’so y’don’t need to know.”
Silence. Finally silence. And the faintest smell of something sweet.
“Order up.”
Logan took his two beef and handed the chicken to Wade alongside a beer, his own stuffed into a jacket pocket. They sat outside the shop in silence and in the time it took for Logan to wolf down one and a half of his order, Wade had only finished half before he started talking again.
“You know, the Avengers discovered shawarma in the sacred timeline.” He said, mouth still full.
Logan glanced over at him, “They’d be lucky to have y’.”
Wade had a considering look in his eye as paused chewing then nodded. The guy still probably had his insecurities and self-doubt that Logan definitely exacerbated in the Honda. Just as they were about to take another bite, barking and the sound of scampering paws were heading right at the pair. It was that fucking dog.
“Oh~”
“Come on,” Logan groaned, head falling back.
“Fuck!” Wade threw his half-eaten wrap on the ground and began the daintiest clap Logan had ever seen done by someone other than a white girl, “Come over here my little munchkin! Yes, it’s you~. You’re a survivor.” Wade picked up the ugly little thing, squeezing her tight and kissing her on the head. “Oh, all is right in the world. Yes, it is.” Wade turned to him, eyeing him up and down, “So what are you going to do next?”
Logan shrugged, “I’ll figure it out. I always do.”
“That right? I’ll probably see you around,” A small smile was playing on his lips as he continued to gauge his response.
An impulsive thought wormed its way into his head, before he knew it he found himself quirking an eyebrow at the merc and proceeded to lie.
“Probably not. See y’, Bub.”
With that, he stood up and walked away as Wade continued to pet Dogpool. He threw the remains of his meal onto a table. A waste really. But all part of the plan. His pace was slow and measured, he was waiting. And when he heard the call of:
“Logan!”
He stopped, a small smile unable to be contained as Wade finally called him by his name. Not one of those childish nicknames. This had been what he was waiting to hear. He turned to face Wade, his expression schooled into a neutral facade.
“Stay with me- us.” Wade offered, pointing between himself and the dog.
Logan walked back over to him, “I thought y’shared a one-bedroom apartment with a lovely blind woman named Althea. Doesn’t sound like y’have much room for me.” Not much room in the apartment or his life. He wasn’t part of Wade’s world.
“There’s always room for one more. We have a pull-out sofa you can use. Not much privacy but it’s home. I only share a bed with Blind Al because I’ve been incredibly touch-starved since the breakup and need my bedtime cuddles.”
Logan huffed a chuckled, “That’s why I had to tie y’up, Bub.” A lie. In reality he had been planning to abandon Wade in that car. “Well, I’m not one to turn down a free roof over my head until I can sort out something more permanent.”
Before he knew it, he was following Wade to his home which was a lot closer to the TVA base and, subsequently, the shawarma shop than he had expected. Just down the street really. Meeting Al was sweet, it almost felt like being introduced to a parent back when he was a young man. And much like a mother, she swiftly turned in ire to Wade and slapped him on the arm with such precision Logan almost doubted her disability.
“Wade W. Wilson, you disappear after blowing out your birthday candles only to return with havoc in the streets and a man on your arm. You could have told us you were dating again. Peter was worried sick about you.”
It had been his birthday? The merc had spent his birthday trying to save his friends -his world – and was rewarded with a thorough verbal dressing down and a night of carnage in a car.
“Oh well, you know, it was the usual. I got abducted, told our universe was dying because someone had to go and nobly sacrifice themselves for the next generation of mutants. So then I hopped through multiple universes to find me a Wolverine who wouldn’t stab me on sight. Found this fella right here and got sent to the universal (not the studio) trash heap. Where I then proceeded to get my brain finger fucked by a bald long-nail-bedded bitch. Seriously they began at like her knuckle. Props to the costume department for that mildly disturbing detail.” Al’s inability to see didn’t stop Wade’s wild gesticulations as he described the events that happened to him. “And after a daring escape from her clutches, I had the best birthday car romp in a while. Became a real pin cushion for ‘im.” Wade sent Logan a wink.
Logan cleared his throat and avoided eye contact, a slight heat taking root in his ear at the implication behind those words. Al gagged.
“Wade, what I’m about to say is without a hint of homophobia: I don’t need to hear any more about your repulsive sex life. It’s bad enough I can hear you choking the chicken in the bathroom.”
Wade was laughing to himself as he meandered away from his now two room-mates and it was only slightly awkward until he returned with sweatpants and a tank top in hand. He shoved them into Logan’s chest along with a towel.
“Shower is through that door there,” He pointed to his right, “You reek of alcohol, blood, and Marvel H Christ knows what else. I doubt I smell much better – not like the Void had personal hygiene products lying around – but your odour can only be described as one of my twenty-eighteen suicide attempts from the second movie before I rewrote the events that triggered that spiral.” Wade looked off to the side, “You readers know which one I’m on about.” He mimicked an explosion sound as he ballooned his hands apart.
Logan was taken aback for a moment, processing that the seemingly always chipper buffoon had tried to kill himself at some point. However, he decided against acknowledging the trauma dump by just grunting his thanks. He took the offered clothes and beelined for the bathroom.
Alright fuck-os let’s focus on me again.
Shut up, Wade. I’m trying to write here.
Oh sure you are. I saw you reading other fanfics and some of my comic runs. And aren’t you on vacation now? I didn’t say you could take a break.
Sigh. Anyway…
Wade placed Mary Puppins on the floor and then immediately flopped onto the sofa, energy levels depleted and a deep set ache in his muscles. He waited for the sound of the shower starting before speaking.
“We’re not dating.”
“Not yet,” Al responded, somehow managing to give him a pointed look despite a) being blind and b) wearing sunglasses so he couldn’t see her eyes.
“The man hates me. Stabbed me many times on many occasions – not that I didn’t enjoy it.” Wade grumbled, sinking further into his seat.
“So why is he here?”
“He had nowhere else to go. I couldn’t just let him wander the streets after I abducted him. Not after he saved me.”
“So Vanessa announces she has a new boyfriend after you’ve been separated for two years and you went and kidnapped one for yourself. That’s a new kind of fucked up, even for you Wade.”
“Yeah I know, I’m a bigger fuck up than Ryan Reynolds accepting that Green Lantern role. I don’t need reminding. Again, we’re not dating. Manage to get your hands on some White Girl Interrupted while Feige’s attention was on the Void?”
“You might not be but you like him. You haven’t introduced someone to me like that since Vanessa. I still don’t know who the fuck Feige is but yes I did.”
“Good because I need some right now. I’m guessing you’ve put it in your sex toy drawer in an attempt to deter me but Al you always fail to remember very little disgusts me.”
Wade slapped his lap as he got up, signalling the end of the conversation. He went back to the bedroom and immediately opened the aforementioned drawer, sticking his hand in he rifled through dildos and vibrators of various shapes and sizes until he found a rectangular packet. Bingo. Oh, he was so going to build a snowman. Oh wait, this is fanfiction, not a movie, Feige has no control here. Wade can just say cocaine.
You guys are going to have to use your imagination here because the author doesn’t know how to write cocaine usage because they’re a pure little munchkin who only ever smoked weed like five times and sniffed poppers once.
Hey stop interrupting or I’ll make this a T rating.
Suitably buzzed and the throbbing ache of his muscles dulled, Wade grabbed a towel and a set of PJ’s to change into after his turn in the shower. His timing was seemingly perfect as he entered the living area just as Logan stepped out of the bathroom towelling his hair roughly, a steam plume framing him in a haze with the lighting hitting just right. The clothes lent to him a tight fit as they clung to the man’s muscular frame, hugging spots that weren’t completely dry yet. Dear lord, was that a dick print? Look at the size of that thing! He needed to French kiss whoever invented grey sweats. Whoever they are or were, he hoped they were getting laid six ways to Sunday. Wade found himself thanking whatever foresight he had since the white tank went near translucent in places like the dips of Logan’s abs and the swell of his pecs. He quickly wiped away the drool on the corner of his lips.
“Nice milk cans you got there, Wolvie. Hope you didn’t use up all the hot water,” Wade commented, eyes still roving over the other’s effortlessly erotic form. That’s the World’s Sexiest Man 2008 for you.
Logan slung the towel around his shoulders, a flush to his cheeks – from heat, Wade’s comment, or ogling who knows – as he seemingly took a moment to study the merc’s face.
“Is… Is that cocaine in y’nose? Y’pupils are dilated. Are y’high?” Logan scoffed in response, eyebrows pinched together.
Wade wiped his nose, “Did you know your pupils can dilate as much as fifty-five percent when you look at something or someone you love? Because I’m loving what a feast for my eyes you are.” He approached the grouchy man and rubbed a thumb between his eyebrows, which was swiftly slapped away with a grumble, “You shouldn’t frown so much, it’ll age you faster. As much as I am all for our old man yaoi dynamics I don’t want you looking like the Old Man Logan who shotgun blasted me.”
Wade patted Logan on the arm as he squeezed past him to get entry into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He chucked the towel and change of clothes onto the bathroom’s counter top, knocking over the toothbrush pot and a few other bits. He then stripped off the red leather suit, having to peel it away as dried blood and various other bodily fluids had acted as fucking glue. Bare as the day he was born, Wade turned the shower on and fiddled with the taps to get the temperature just how he liked it. Steamy, the same way he liked his homoerotic fight scenes.
Stepping in, Wade rolled his shoulders and took a moment to let the water ease his tight muscles.
“That’s the good stuff,” he moaned softly, tilting his head back eyes closed.
After what felt like a suitable amount of time had passed, he grabbed his loofah and body wash and went to town on getting the caked-on grime off of his scarred skin. The water flowing down the drain was a murky burgundy as sand, old blood, and who knows what else was washed away.
When the water turned clear Wade decided to focus on… other things. Mainly the beefcake wearing his clothes at that very moment, the walking wet dream he was. Visions of those sweaty tits floated through his mind, making his cock – which had already been at half-mast – twitch in interest. God, he had been dying to rub one out since he woke up tied against The Wolverine. He grasped himself firmly and gave a few tugs to get fully hard before teasing over the tip. His bottom lip was caught between his teeth as tried to stifle his whimpers. He worked over his shaft as he recalled how Logan had smiled during their scuffle in the Honda, how his blood had dripped onto the older man’s cheek and into his mouth – on those fangs. Logan had licked the blood off with an almost feral look in his eyes before launching him through the sun roof. Fuck. He wasn’t going to last with how pent-up he was. His grip tightened as he sped up his ministrations. He remembered the kiss after saving the multiverse as he came with an embarrassingly desperate groan. Logan had kissed him back. Had held him close. Yet when all was said and done, he had been ready to leave Wade behind. What a confusing, grumpy hunk. With a shaky exhale he turned off the shower.
Wade towelled off and got dressed. His chosen PJ’s for the night were lavender shorts and a Hello Kitty crop top. Hey – crop tops were invented by male bodybuilders to get around gym attire rules, so never let anyone tell you men can’t wear crop tops. With dramatic zeal, Wade threw open the door and strutted out of the bathroom. He was not expecting to have two pairs of hazel eyes looking right at him. One in disdain and one in… appraisal?
Laura. Laura was on his sofa. Why was she here? Oh god… did Laura hear him jerking off?!
“Oh.” Wade squeaked, mortified as his body tinged a dark red. “Hi there.”
The girl, so much like her father, grunted in response and turned away. Speaking of, Logan had yet to tear his eyes away and if Wade saw correctly, he seemed to be… sniffing?
“Enjoy y’shower, Red?” The smirking fucker asked, then gestured towards Laura, “The TVA just dropped her off. She has nowhere to crash so Althea kindly offered her y’spot on the bed.”
Wade gasped and marched round to stand in front of the pair, “What? Where am I supposed to sleep? On the floor?”
“I’m not going to make y’sleep on the floor in y’own home, Wade. Y’ll be bunking with me on the sofa.” Logan patted the free space next to him.
Wade stiffly sat down in the offered seat and whispered incredulously to the older man, “What about my bedtime cuddles?”
“I’m sure y’can make do without.” Logan deadpanned but that infuriating smirk was still plastered on his face.
It was quite the jump from it just being Wade and Al in the shitty one bed apartment to there now being four people in the space of a few hours.
Wade huffed and crossed his arms, “We need to find a bigger apartment… Anyone feel like Chinese food?”
There was a chorus of agreement. Wade took Al’s phone off the coffee table and opened up the delivery app he used most, his favourite Chinese take-out was top of the recommended list. He put in what he and Al usually ordered then passed the phone to Logan. His former eyebrows shot upwards as the bi-centenarian successfully navigated the menus and selected what he wanted. It was Laura who seemed perplexed by the menu and the food listed. It was a sweet moment, watching Logan awkwardly explain what everything was when asked. Despite being virtually strangers, there looked to be a genuine connection forming already. Kin recognising kin on that instinctual level only Wolverines can experience. Wade took the time to tell Al and Laura all about the epic battle in the streets and how they saved the world with the power of hand holding as they waited for their food to arrive.
“You know Peter will have told everyone by now that you’re back with company,” Al remarked, petting Mary Puppins who had situated herself on the elderly woman’s lap. “They’ll be over tomorrow, I just know it.”
Wade felt Logan go rigid beside him, was he worried about Negasonic and the other X-men in his makeshift family? Oh, that was going to be a weird meeting wasn’t it. Not because they’d be seeing a ghost of their Wolverine, no. Their Wolverine was still alive and kicking, after all it’s twenty-twenty-four at the moment not twenty-nine which was when his timeline’s Logan was scheduled to die. See, Wade had used that TVA device to jump forward in time and exhume his remains because for the TVA all timeline events are happening simultaneously. So these X-men would be seeing a stranger who looked like their Logan, and Logan would be seeing the faces of those he had already lost in his world knowing he was going to lose them here too. Wade made a silent vow to keep Negasonic, Yukio and Colossus away from Westchester when the time comes. He liked those ones.
…Wait. All that timey-whimey stuff meant that Paradox, the dickhead, was going to set off the Time Ripper five years before this timeline’s OG Logan was meant to die. Was he really so impatient to ‘prune’ the timeline that he wasn’t willing to waiting for the self-sacrificing fuck to actually do the thing?
“Everyone except Weasel – his actor has multiple sexual assault allegations against him and that’s not a good look for us,” Wade interjected in a most likely misguided attempt to lighten the mood. All it got him, however, was Laura and Logan staring at him. “Hey, I don’t keep people like that in my social circle. I’m a good boy. Consent is sexy and if someone doesn’t take no for an answer, stab ‘em. Solves everything.”
Laura nodded at the sagely advice then looked towards the door and stood up seconds before knocking resounded from the entry way. Wade handed her the tip money as she walked by to answer. Food secured, Wade stood up, washed up some cutlery that would be needed and handed them out as Logan helped Laura to sort out the food and Al turned on the TV – Golden Girls was already playing. They mostly ate in silence whilst Wade made comments about the episode that was met with “Shut up” from various people. It wasn’t long until Al was retiring for the night and taking Laura with her to sort some things to wear. The girl was briefly sent out with bedding, blankets and spare pillows for the sofa.
“We should probably get the bed set up, sounds like we’re in for a long day tomorrow,” Wade suggested while clearing away the take out containers.
“We should… but we still have those beers from the shawarma place. In the fridge, if y’d like to have them now,” Logan offered, collecting up the dirty cutlery to put in the already overflowing sink. He grunted at the sight of it.
Wade retrieved said beers and handed one to Logan who released a single claw and used it to pop the cap off. He then did the same to Wade’s, who found that all too attractive, he had to think of puppies being kicked to stop himself from popping a boner then and there.
“Cheers. To saving the world!” Wade toasted, clinking his bottle against Logan’s.
“To saving y’world,” Logan grumbled, immediately taking a deep swig.
“Any particular reason you wanted to share a drink with me, Peanut?” Wade asked, sitting back down on the cushion he had previously occupied, eyes following Logan as he sat on the opposite side of the sofa with legs spread. Slut.
“Deserve it after the shit we’ve been through. Not everyday people like us nearly die.” Logan answered, gesturing between them.
“Thank you, by the way, for not letting me face death alone in the end. Despite the noble sacrifice, I wasn’t lying when I said I was scared,” Wade said, shifting in his seat to bring both his feet up. It just never felt right to have them on the floor.
Logan growled, “Couldn’t exactly let y’. As I said, I had nothing left to live for. Would have left me stranded here with no fucking clue who anyone was if y’had succeeded. Asshole move on y’part.”
Wade nursed his beer as Logan spoke. Truthfully, he hadn’t thought that far ahead in his rushed plan to save everyone. He placed his drink on the coffee table and tried looking anywhere but at the man casually spread across his sofa. Candid moments came as naturally as bottoming to him. Not at all.
“In that moment, when you offered yourself up and held that picture, I thought I needed to save those I cared about. Apparently, in the three fucking days we’ve known each other for, you became the tenth person in my world. Saving everyone meant saving you too – despite the stabbing each other.”
The silence that came afterwards made him uncomfortable, had him reaching for his beer to keep his mouth busy. He could hear Logan gulping down his before hollow glass clinking on MDF resounded through the room with an accompanying sigh. Wade finally looked at the other man, who just seemed tired. Ready to call it a night.
“What’s done is done, Bub. Just glad we both survived to see another day.” Logan pointed to the mostly full bottle in Wade’s hands, “Y’gonna finish that?”
“Oh, uh yeah. Hang on.” In a similar display to what Logan had done in that dive-bar he dragged him out of, Wade necked the bottle of beer, some of the liquid dribbling out the corner of his mouth. He impressed himself with how he managed to chug it down without needing to breathe – he thought those binge drinking muscle memories had long since faded. Once empty, Wade lowered the bottle and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His gaze drifted over to Logan whose eyes, which were darker than usual (but that may have been down to the lighting), were locked on Wade’s throat.
“You good there, Honey Badger?”
Logan blinked a couple of times and shook his head, “Yeah just… just lost in thought. Let’s get the bed set already.”
Wade nodded and picked up their bottles, depositing them in a plastic bag that contained other used glass items. He then manoeuvred the coffee table out of the way so Logan could pull the bedframe and mattress out. It all felt rather domestic; pulling the bottom sheet into place, setting up the blankets and pillows together. The lights were turned off and the two men got under the covers. Wade really did try to go to sleep but for all his effort he was left tossing and turning.
“Will y’quit it? Is your ADHD so severe you can’t stay still even in your sleep?” Logan groaned, arm slung over his face.
“I wasn’t lying about needing bedtime cuddles, Logi Bear,” Wade hissed back.
Logan huffed and threw the arm closest to Wade over the younger man, “Fine. Y’can cuddle this arm. But just the arm.”
“Yay!” Wade cheered, eagerly rolling onto his side and wrapping his limbs around the offered arm like it was a tree to be climbed. “Goodnight, Wolvie.”
“G’night, Bubba.”
Did he just fucking call me Bubba?!
Wade was out like a light, the physical contact anchoring his racing thoughts enough to drift off peacefully.
That’s where you’re gonna leave it? I thought we were going to Pound Town?! THIS IS RATED E DAMMIT!
This was getting too long for a oneshot Wade. You’ll still get your trip to Fuckville don’t worry. It’s not tagged slowburn. Now go the fuck to sleep and I’ll see you next chapter.
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mysticalsoot · 1 year ago
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i prefer life with you, than without
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part 2 of 'glances of love'
➸ note; woo!! here's another part!! if you saw this when I accidentally posted it, no you didn't, shush that never happened !! (requests are open for this series btw!) i will be asleep when this posts so I'll add it to the masterlists in the morning :) (lilly please harass me there's no way in hell im remembering)
➸ pairing; cc!wilbur x gn!reader
➸ summary; wilbur gets a bit self conscious about his relationship with reader but you're quick to reassure him !
➸ warning; possible swearing, mentions and vague descriptions of parental fighting and childhood trauma, food mentions (no EDs), implied age gap (do what you will with that), if there's more lmk!
➸ age-rating; 14-15+
➸ wordcount; 2.4k
main masterlist
glances of love masterlist
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your relationship with wilbur had balance, plenty of it. it was rare to even get into an argument and sometimes you'd bicker over small things, bound to look at each other and laugh at the stupidity of the moment. your life was finally happy and quiet, he brought you peace with his smile and his touch. his love radiated from him, making sure you're always warm. he wanted to make sure that part of you that held your inner child could heal, he never wanted to see you break. he never wanted to repeat his own childhood.
he noticed early on in the relationship that when a man's voice raised just a bit too much, you'd flinch and freeze. you'd tense when he tried to soothe you by a touch to your shoulder or chin or face, but you relaxed when you realized it was him. you never wanted to be your parents.
they fought a lot in your earlier childhood, arguing over small minute things, your dad refusing to pick up around the house and leaving your mother to do the rest. there were threats, and there were screams. you'd cover your ears and so would your siblings. the tears would build, threatening to spill as the screams of your parents echoed on the walls.
you told Wilbur this after the first few times he caught you flinching at someone yelling, the final time being when he yelled at someone for catcalling you. he pushed this time, while the others he just frowned and let it slide, when you flinched at him, it broke his heart and so he had to know why.
you told him how you'd pray to god your parents would wake up back in love or get a divorce and that it seemed neither prayer was answered. you told him how you were hyper independent as a child, just to avoid irritating your parents more. how his way of caring for you helped heal that wounded child still tucked inside.
and then he told you of similar experiences, how when his parents were fighting the most, he felt torn between them. like he was this weight keeping them held in this marriage they didn't seem to want. then they had his little brother, Tommy, and it seemed to fix it. until his father became too busy for wilbur, but not too busy for Tommy or Tech. but then he was too busy for everyone, and his mom withdrawaled and no longer seemed as interested in his life. so he likes caring for others, it gives him a purpose and if he cares for someone that needs it, he'll have that loving and appreciative attention he desires.
both of you had your shared traumas but you worked through it, he never yelled, you let him care for you (although, you needed that help anyways). it was a fair deal you two had subconsciously made.
the day was quiet, the both of you cleaning up the kitchen together with a front bottoms album playing in the living room. he'd spin you around, making you giggle before you'd both go back to cleaning. he was working on dishes, and then he paused, eyes glancing up ever so slightly as he sucks in a breath.
your heart jumped into your throat when he spoke those words; "baby, we need to talk."
it was sweet, but not sickeningly so. he was gentle with his tone and his words, taking a few steps towards you in the kitchen, tilting his head down to meet your eyes. he was smiling, sweetly at that.
"yes, Wil?" you smile up at him, your hands gripping at his sides as you try to hide the fear in your eyes and voice.
he grabs your face in his hands gently, thumbs rubbing your jawline before he kisses the tip of your nose. he pulls back, eyes sporadically searching yours.
"don't you think I'm too old for you? i mean.. shouldn't you be out, partying and making mistakes instead of staying in and baking cookies with me before settling on the couch to binge a show until we sleep..." he pauses, eyes trailing away before they gaze down on you again. you hold back on speaking, keeping your words on your tongue while you wait for him to finish, "am I taking that experience away from you?"
you shake your head slowly, your hands reaching up to cover his larger ones and you sigh at the feeling of his skin under your fingertips.
"no, not much would be different in my life if we weren't together. besides my life would be sadder and lonelier. at least I can do my old person activities with someone else." you smile, shrugging as you turn your face to kiss his palm, eyes looking up at him through your lashes.
"are you calling me old?" he taunts, smirk curling up and the frown shown before is completely gone.
you turn your gaze away as you shake your head, "noooo.. I mean you are kinda old? you are twenty-six after all."
"oh you little shit-" he smirks, grabbing you by the waist and picking you up. he carries you over to the couch and pins your limbs down, fingers attacking at your sides and belly as you swat at his hands.
"wil- no! it tickles!" you breathe out through loud giggles, squirming in your spot.
"this is for calling me old, baby," he continues tickling until you give him a warning glare, "okay, okay," he chuckles with his hands in the air before he sits back, pulling you into his lap. you settle between his thighs, resting your head on his shoulder as he pets the back of your head. he kisses your temple as he hums.
"I hope you mean what you said," he turns the conversation back to what it was earlier. an exasperated sigh leaving his chest as he chews on his lip, "I don't want to be the one to take those experiences away."
"do I look like I'm one to have a desire for partying?" you scoff playfully, thinking to all the moments where you'd drink with him and his band after a show.
he thinks for a moment and then shakes his head, kissing your cheek and nose and forehead.
"i guess not, you're a bit of a recluse, hm?" he teases, smirk crawling back up on his features. you swat at his chest, gasping in mock offense.
"I am not! i go out all the time!" you scoff and shake your head. he holds your hips a bit tighter, keeping you held in your lap.
"okay, then, when's the last time you went out?" his smirk deepens, eyes glinting with mischief.
it takes you a few minutes to conjure an answer, unsure as you speak, "I went to waterstones like.. two days ago?"
"baby.." he starts, tone a bit stern but still teasing.
"okay, okay fine! maybe I am a bit of a recluse but I like it, I do. i really like staying in and doing my work and waiting for you to come back. it's peaceful and I finally feel safe enough to just live and be alone. it's safe, I like it," you take a deep breath after your rant, looking down at his hands, taking one of them and playing with his fingers mindlessly, "you're safe." it's merely but a whisper, but he hears it and he can't tell if his heart is breaking or healing. your words struck a cord with him and he doesn't know how to swim through sludge in his brain.
"I'm not taking anything away from you?" his voice cracks softly, a small frown on his lips, an expression of worry. he fears being the one holding you back, despite the both of you being in similar stages of life. stable incomes, jobs and lives. you share finances, the apartment, grocery bills. he goes on tour, you stay back and edit two or so videos a week. you're both happy, and you aren't sure why he's so insistent that he's holding you back. if anything, he helps project you forward. he assists you in every which way. he helps you, he encourages you, he loves you.
"not one thing," you smile, holding his hands and shaking them a bit before kissing each of his fingertips. you lean forward, head on his shoulder as you tuck your legs between his. your body nestles between his thighs and he wraps his legs around you in a little nest.
"do you regret this?" he hums, worry still controlling his every thought. he's so anxious, and you can't entirely figure out why.
you sit back, looking up at him as you play with the fluff of hair that hangs over his forehead and you think, letting thoughts and worries be sifted through.
"mm.." thoughts scurry around, glimpses of brief worries, of judgement from friends and family, from fans in particular, "no, I don't. i really never have. why regret something that gives me you?"
"because you regret not doing certain things," he shrugs, taking your hands in his and laughing softly at the size difference. it looks so ridiculous to him, he must look like a giant to you. perhaps he is a giant.
"if I wanted to go out and party, there's nothing stopping me. there's absolutely nothing in my way that keeps me from living life," you smile to yourself, watching as he rubs his thumbs over your hands, bringing them to his lips to kiss.
"you could be dating though, not just stuck with one guy," he whispers, kisses placed on your palms and fingers and wrists.
"I like being stuck with my guy," his eyes finally meet yours and they seem to melt in a way. a small whine escapes his lips as he grabs your body, arms wrapped around your form before he pulls you into a sweet hug.
you giggle and laugh, bringing your lips to his for a sweet, loving embrace. a few moments pass and he pulls away, "I'm yours?"
"I wouldn't have it any other way," you smile, kissing his forehead, just to pull back and meet his eyes. you sigh happily before getting attacked with kisses to your lips.
"mine.." he mumbles between each meeting of your lips, sighing and humming in between kisses and mumbles.
"my baby.." he smiles, pulling back to admire you, his thumb traces your cheek and jaw. it presses into your skin gently, rubbing smooth, soft circles onto your face. jaw, chin, lips, cheek.
you giggle at the kisses, a fluttering, ticklish feeling beneath each one. wilbur smiles at each kiss, placing each one with gentle care, love left behind at every touch of his lips.
"pizza for dinner?" you hum softly, holding his upper arms gently, not quite able to wrap around them fully.
he pulls away gently, smile still on his lips and eyes foggy with some sort of mixed love emotion. he nods, placing a kiss to your throat, "I'll order, yeah? I'll run a bath for you and set out some of my clothes for you to change into," he hums, kisses to your collarbone and shoulder, his hums echoing in your bones.
"a bath?" your words hold part offense and part curiosity.
"I am not saying you need it, I'm saying that I may have splurged yesterday and bought a few new bathbombs for you.." he trails off, kissing your cheek. he's smug with his words, and you swat at his chest.
"Wil, really?" you scoff playfully, rolling your eyes with a warm smile.
"what? they smelled good!" he counters, leaning back to look down at you with a small pout.
"they're lavender scented, aren't they?"
he hums, hiding his face in the crook of your neck as he shrugs, "maybe, but it's your favorite,"
you nod, laughing softly as you slip out of wilbur's lap. he holds your wrist gently, thumb rubbing the skin there for a few seconds before smiling and letting go.
he draws your bath as you both chat about random things, kissing you before leaving you to enjoy the warm bath with bathbombs and smelly soaps and bubbles.
you don't spend too long in your bath, maybe 20 minutes before you're draining it and drying off, changing into a pair of wilbur's boxers and one of his shirts. you hum as you walk out of the bathroom and through the bedroom. a few strides and you're behind him in the kitchen, wrapping your arms around his waist. you kiss on his back for a few moments, humming to yourself.
"thank you, love," you whisper as he places his hands on yours, you scratch at his stomach gently with your fingertips.
"you're welcome, honey. pizza will be here in a few, okay? why don't you go over and rest on the couch, I'll be in there in a minute," he turns in your grasp, leaning down and grabbing your face, a kiss to your forehead that lingers as he hums against your skin. he pulls back and smiles at you, a kiss to your nose and you turn around to the living room.
you hurry to the couch, hopping on it and curling up with pillows and blankets as you set up some random movie on Netflix.
wilbur comes in a few minutes later, a box of pizza and a couple plates in hand. he dishes a piece out for you both, cuddling up next to you under the blanket and watching the movie along with you. it's nice, the quiet. you don't always need words with wilbur, sometimes the silence is plenty for you both, how calming and serene it is to not have to say anything.
it goes like this for a few hours, until you're both falling asleep, wrapped up together and dozing off with half lidded eyes.
"I love you, you know that?" you hum, looking into wilbur's eyes as best you can, trying desperately to fight sleep.
"I do, I just worry," he sighs, kissing your forehead with a sleepy smile.
"then don't worry," you kiss his nose, rubbing his cheeks with your thumbs.
he smiles and kisses you once, a quick peck that says a million more words than spoken and he tucks his head in your shoulder. his breathing steadies out, followed by gentle snores before you're lulled to sleep with him.
you much prefer life with him than without and you hope he feels the same.
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traumacatholic · 8 months ago
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I was told there is a 50% chance I'll need a root canal that I just can't afford. I don't know how much more stress and humiliation I can take. prayers appreciated greatly.
I'm really sorry to hear this. It would also be worth looking into local and national charities and seeing if there's any that exist that can offer financial aid / support for dental treatments that are outside of your budget. I would imagine that there would be some support and advice for people in your position. Please also do consider reaching out to your local Church (or local Churches) and seeing if there's any kind of support and guidance they can provide. They might be able to signpost you to some kind of support, but at the very least having their prayers also can be of some great comfort and support.
I'm going to put some prayers under the readmore, that you might find to be of help
Prayers for all sick people
O Lord Almighty, healer of our souls and bodies, Who putteth down and raiseth up, Who chastiseth and health also; now, in Thy great mercy, visit our brothers and sisters who are sick. Stretch forth Thy hand that is full of healing and health, and raise them up, and cure them of their illness. Put away from them the spirit of disease and of every malady, pain and fever to which they are bound. And if they have sins and transgressions, grant to them remission and forgiveness, for Thou lovest humankind. Yea, O Lord my God, have pity on Thy creation, through the compassions of Thine only-begotten Son, together with Thine all-holy, good, and life-creating Spirit, with whom Thou art blessed, both now and ever, and to ages of ages.
Prayers for yourself in sickness
O Lord Jesus Christ our Saviour, the Physician of our souls and bodies, Who didst become Man and suffer death on the Cross for our salvation, and through Thy tender love and compassion didst heal all manner of sickness and affliction: do Thou, O Lord, visit me in my suffering, and grant me grace and strength to bear this sickness with which I am afflicted, with Christian patience and submission to Thy will, trusting in Thy lovingkindness and tender mercy. Bless, I pray Thee, the means used for my recovery, and those who administer them. I know, O Lord, that I justly deserve any punishment Thou mayest inflict upon me, for I have so often offended Thee and sinned against Thee in thought, word, and deed. Therefore, I humbly pray to Thee, look upon my weakness, and deal not with me according to my sins, but according to the multitude of Thy mercies. Have compassion on me, and let mercy and justice meet; and deliver me from the sickness and suffering I am undergoing. Grant that my sickness may be the means of my true repentance and amendment of my life according to Thy will, that I may spend the rest of my days in Thy love and fear; that my soul, being helped by Thy grace and sanctified by Thy holy mysteries, may be prepared for its transition to the eternal life and there, in the company of Thy blessed saints, may praise and glorify Thee with Thy Eternal Father and Life-giving Spirit. Amen.
* * *
O Holy Father, heavenly Physician of the body and soul, Who hast sent Thine Only-begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, to heal ailments and deliver us from death; do Thou heal me, Thy servant, of all suffering, and restore me to health by the grace of Thy Divine Son, through the intercessions of our Most Holy Queen Ever-virgin Mary, the Mother of God, and all the saints. For Thou art the Fountain of all cure, O Lord, and we give thanks to Thee, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, now and forever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Prayer for Protection
O Lord, Thou who steadied the hand of Peter as he began to sink on the stormy sea, if Thou are with me, no one is against me. Grant to me the shield of faith and the mighty armor of the Holy Spirit to protect me and guide me to do Thy will. The future I put into Thy hands, O Lord, and I follow Thee to a life in Christ. Amen
Prayers for Oneself in Time of Need
Almighty God, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, come to my help and deliver me from this difficulty that besets me. I believe Lord, that all trials of life are under Your care and that all things work for the good of those who love You. Take away from me fear, anxiety and distress. Help me to face and endure my difficulty with faith, courage and wisdom.
Grant that this trial may bring me closer to You for You are my rock and refuge, my comfort and hope, my delight and joy. I trust in Your love and compassion. In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.
Prayer for Oneself in Times of Sickness
O Lord, Healer of our bodies and souls, visit me with Your loving-kindness and stretch forth Your hand of healing. Raise me up from this bed of sickness, and heal me of all disease, pain, and fever that is binding me. We bless and honour You, our most holy Father, gracious Son, and life-creating Spirit, both now and forever. Amen. Almighty God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, because You love mankind, pity Your creation. Your only-begotten Son taught us that not even the smallest sparrow falls to the ground without Your knowledge. We pray to You for Your servant [name here], for the healing of body and soul. Calm me with confidence in the fullness of Your love. To You belongs all our praise and worship, to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, unto ages of ages. Amen.
Prayer to St. Spyridon of Trimythus
O most blessed hierarch Spyridon, thou great Saint of Christ and glorious wonder-worker!
Standing in heaven before the throne of God with choirs of Angels, look down with a compassionate eye upon the people gathered here (names may be added) and asking thy powerful help.
Entreat the merciful kindness of God Who loveth mankind, that He judge us not according to our iniquities, but rather act towards us according to His mercy.
Ask for us of Christ our God, a peaceful and serene life, health of soul and body, a fruitful earth, and in all things abundance and prosperity; that we turn not unto evil the good things bestowed upon us by our generous God, but rather unto His glory and the praise of thine intercession.
Deliver us, who with unswerving faith approach God, from all ills, whether spiritual or physical; from all discouragements and diabolical snares.
Be a consoler unto those in sorrow, a healer of the infirm, a helper of those in troubles, a coverer of the naked, a defender of widows, a protector of orphans, a nourisher of infants, a strengthener of the aged, a guide unto travellers, a compass to those that sail, and pray for all that seek thy mighty intercession, that they may receive all that is profitable unto their salvation: so that, taught and kept by thy prayers, we may attain eternal rest and together with thee glorify God, Who is One in the Holy Trinity, the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages.
Prayer to Saint Nicholas the Wonderworker
Hierarch and father, O most holy Nicholas, thou extraordinary Saint of the Lord, our loving defender and ready helper in sorrows everywhere: help us sinners and hapless ones in the present life: entreat the Lord God to grant us remission of all of our sins, that we have committed from our youth and all our life, by deed, word, though and all our senses; and in the passing of our souls, help us wretched ones; entreat the Lord God and Maker of all creation, to deliver us from trials in the air and eternal torment: that we may alway glorify the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and thy merciful intercession, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Prayer in Time of Trouble 
O God, our help and assistance Who is just and merciful, and Who hears the supplications of Your people, look down upon me.  Have mercy upon me and deliver me from the trouble that besets me.  Deal not with me after my sins, but according to Your bountiful mercies, for I am the work of Your hands and You know my weakness. Grant me, I beseech You, Your divine helping grace, and endow me with patience and strength to endure my tribulations with complete submission to Your Will.  You know my misery and suffering and to You, my only hope and refuge, I flee for relief and comfort.  Trusting in Your infinite love and compassion, I know that in due time, when You know best, You will deliver me from this trouble and turn my distress into comfort.  I shall rejoice in Your mercy and exalt and praise Your Holy Name, of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, forever.  Amen.
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