#kids humor

[chloesimaginationthings]

The Afton’s different ways of parenting in FNAF

[shyjusticewarrior]

[runraerun]

[headcanonthings]

Tim: *dies* Stephanie: Timer starts now! When do you think he’ll be back? I say two months Damian: Bullshit. One month Dick: nah, half a month Bruce, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? TIM JUST DIED! Jason, scratching his chin in thought: One week

[arkangelo-7]

Okay, but, realistically speaking, Bruce Wayne has got to have a low alcohol tolerance. He’s a lightweight.

Like, think about it—this man rarely drinks. Most of his “drunken” shenanigans are done stone cold sober on account of the Mission, and all. If you get more than two glasses of wine in him he is fucking gone.

Which is part of what makes family dinners at the Manor so entertaining. Assuming that such events are one of the rare times Bruce truly relaxes, it’s not a stretch to think he might indulge in a glass of wine or a bourbon; and this is fine and all… until the Batkids persuade him to have another round with them or, God forbid, do a celebratory shot.

After that? Bruce is wiped.

His kids think it’s hilarious. Drunk Bruce is a trip. He’ll drop insane Dad Lore about his time in the League or a wild JL space mission or something, but then proceed to list in meticulous, clinical detail all the things that annoy him about Hal Jordan, and then all the sudden get super excited and start detailing his latest Superman Contingency Plan using the salt shakers in the dining room table. He switches moods and topics so quickly that his kids would get whiplash if they weren’t laughing their asses off.

And you know the +1, singular, solitary, time that Bruce got drunk in front of Clark will go down in history as the best day of Clark’s life. Bruce spent the entire time baring his soul, praising his children, and describing his world travels… but he also kept getting distracted by Clark’s abs and called him “sexy” no less then fourteen times. (Clark left that bar wheezing with laughter and had to disentangle himself from Bruce and force him into a taxi because Bruce kept trying to make out with him. It was fantastic.)

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[ukiyoebirds]

Faded Memories and Bitter Partings.

Even as a child, Hunter had luscious locks.

[js-dragonart]

✨"Sheep. Even Better."✨

Damn Otto for being such a buzzkill. Aegon just wanted to give the sheep back (and maybe pet them).

[lolmemez]

Formal picture

[jestersjitters]

Me dieron esas vibras jajs

Extrañaba hacer curis de One Piece

Patreon

[hyunpic]

not him trying to seduce stay to get drenched in water..

[fawnindawn]

loser! Luke Castellan who has a pathetic crush on you.

loser! Luke Castellan who follows you around camp like a lost puppy, under the guise of having nothing to do and wanting to help you out with your tasks (as if he wasn’t knee deep in camp counsellor responsibilities).

loser! Luke Castellan who gets distracted during sword fight practice because he so happened to hear the ghost of your laughter echoing through the meadows, rendering his heart to a stutter.

loser! Luke Castellan who brings by leftovers from his table to you when you’re stuck in the infirmary if it meant having some alone time with you, not giving a fuck about offerings to the gods when any moment spent with you meant worlds more.

loser! Luke Castellan who very intentionally shows off whenever you’re around with some fancy combat trick or the stretch of his arms, showing off his toned muscles in the hopes that you were watching him.

loser! Luke Castellan who hopelessly longs for you with pining stares obvious to everyone but him, eyes like magnets to your presence, catching you across the room or the battlefield.

loser! Luke Castellan who gets so jealous when he sees you laughing too closely with some other guy at the bonfire, and foolishly stalks over to interrupt the conversation without thinking of a proper excuse.

“Hey, Luke! What’s up?” You call warmly to him, making his heart spasm in his chest at the sound of his name leaving your lips.

“I need your help with.. something.” He stumbles through his words with a wince. “It’s urgent.”

loser! Luke Castellan who feels relief and mind-numbing euphoria settling in his chest when you wordlessly agree without question, choosing him instead. An apologetic smile crosses your face as you bid goodbye to whatever jerk you were talking to before following in Luke’s footsteps.

loser! Luke Castellan who can’t resist the urge to toss the quickest smirk to the kid who was hogging your attention, before it disappears like it was never there.

loser! Luke Castellan who drags you over to a quiet space in camp before admitting quietly to you that he didn’t actually have a reason for dragging you away.

loser! Luke Castellan who tries to pour out his heart to you, hands shaking and heart racing as he tries to form the words that could encapsulate the intensity of his feelings, growing frustrated when his brain keeps freezing when looking at you. The moonlight is casting an ethereal glow over your face, and he goes minutes without speaking in hopeless admiration before realising you're waiting for him to continue.

loser! Luke Castellan who’s on the verge of passing away from the embarrassment before you stop him with a grin so bright his mind stops working over the disbelief that he was the reason for that pretty smile.

loser! Luke Castellan who sees stars when you pull him in for a kiss, and holds onto you like you’re his lifeline.

loser! Luke Castellan who mutters sweet promises into your ear as he pulls you in closer, embracing you so close to his racing heart, in hopes that you would never let go of him.

loser! Luke Castellan who is so completely in love with you he can’t bear the thought of existing in a world without you.

[inkskinned]

it is totally okay to be hurt and tired and fed up with the american schooling system but i need you to understand that we need to be better about loudly and routinely defending public education.

yes, many teachers suck, many schools utterly suck. i also got bullied and was absolutely not given the right support for my needs. i am not defending public education because it was kind to me. i am defending it because it needs to exist.

right-wing republicans do not want an educated population. they want kids to be homeschooled or in private school. there is a huge religious undertone to this.

the most common argument is that despite high costs, the "result" is not "good" enough. they point to failing schools as proof that public education is just never going to work out. there will be arguments made here that you actually agree with: that teachers can be bullies, that we taught online for 2 years and still charged the same amount of tuition, that we have no recourse for students to actually have agency or a voice, and that schools are now unsafe for kids due to risk of illness and gun violence.

these are all placing the blame in a fraudulent way, one intended to get your parents to homeschool you. the less kids in a school, the less federally-awarded funding for that school, the less any school succeeds. they will not mention the fact it is their legislation that takes away important funding opportunities, that teachers are living at or below the poverty line, that buildings are not kept up to code, that administration is overpaid and forces specific curriculums, that corporations like (my personal enemy) Pearson Education control certain classroom goals because teachers can't afford other options. they pretend to be ignorant of the gun violence and say "oh just get a gun" - but these are the same people who will be sending their child to a private school with a bulletproof backpack. they don't care if your kid dies, though. they "don't believe" in covid, but they did get their kid vaccinated, because of course they did.

it is a closed loop. conservative parents hear the fearmongering and remove children from the system. frequently these parents are also deeply religious. the kids are raised without access to other media & learn to parrot their parents. you have now created a new generation of conservatives. additionally, one of the parents/caregivers must stay home and homeschool the children, usually for free. i will give you 1 guess which parent tends to stay home to homeschool the children. these parents are encouraged to have many, many children. those children are most likely not getting access to safe sex ed.

we might laugh at fox news suggesting teachers are forcing children to use kitty litter but: first of all, there is kitty litter in the classroom. it's part of an emergency kit in case children are locked in due to a shooter. so that's fucking dystopian, and the fact they've completely reimagined the scenario to somehow make the teachers look bad when it's instead a fucking huge symbol of our failure as a country to protect our children.... it feels a little intentional.

secondly: don't just dismiss the situation. because, yeah, obviously, no teacher is encouraging kids to be a catboy. but the actual undertone that fox news is trying to sew is an outright distrust of teachers and of public education. they rely on the dehumanization of trans people as a common touchstone to hide the fact they're pushing two agendas at once. (which is ironic. because the thing they accuse teachers of. is pushing. an agenda.)

whenever someone tells you they want you to read less, you should be suspicious of that. when someone tries to separate you and your education, you should be suspicious of that. i don't even like incel rhetoric nor would i want my kids exposed to it - but i would not take away my child's (age-appropriate) access to the internet. i would just provide more educational materials, not less. the difference here is that i believe we can resolve ignorance with knowledge; whereas conservatives believe that ignorance is bliss.

they misappropriate funding and demonize teachers. they pull the same trick each time - the same thing we are seeing with anti-trans rhetoric. they do not want you to have access to safe sex ed, so they act horrified, claim sex ed teaches you how to thrust deep, claim that we have no idea what "age-appropriate" means. since the mid-nineties, the united states has spent at least 2 billion dollars on abstinence-only education, even though to quote the above link: "a preponderance of studies has found no effect of abstinence education at reducing adolescent pregnancy". conservatives want you to think less of any person struggling with addiction so they can continue their racist "war on drugs", so they spend up to $750 million dollars a year on the DARE program which has absolutely no effect. acting like teachers "must" be "grooming" children is just the same thing - so they can demand that funding either goes to their causes or the funding doesn't "exist" ("i'm not paying for our kids to learn that thing!")

and they want you to feel uncaring about this. they are aware that you will hate some parts of your school experience. pretty much everyone does. they want to lean into the parts that you hate so that you don't put up a fight about it when they take it away for not being "good enough."

i know i maybe sound like a conspiracy theorist. but truly. truly. it is beneficial for conservatives to reduce your faith in the american public schooling system.

one of the explicitly stated campaign promises of the conservative party: to axe the Department of Education in 2024.

i know we are all tired and burnt out and there is so much else wrong with their entire platform. but maybe just - pay attention to this one.

[saragrosie]

I may have started the woke communist rpg...

Bonus feelings about Kim's design (Kim my beloved) and some close-ups under here:

[fangirlingpuggle]

So gravity falls AU/fic prompt where the twins actually are Bill and Ford's kids. Like an experiment started during a certain karaoke night and pushed away lost among stuff after break-up and during Ford's paranoia era (Neither remember they even started the experiment they were both so drunk)

So after Ford is lost in the portal Stan is looking through his lab years later, 12 years before show starts he knocks down the experiment it actives and Stan is staring at 2 tiny little shapes with big eyes, one a pink star the other a blue pine tree with an odd little birth mark on it's top.

Stan is freaking the fuck out at 2 little shapes who are crying and sound like baby's, he finds an old sticky note and recognizes Ford's handwriting... Ford's drunk handwriting... and is like Sixer what did you do oh fuck I'm an uncle now.

Cue Stan raising his little demon niece and nephew, reading all the parenting books but NONE OF THESE TELL YOU WHAT TO DO IF THEY'RE DEMONS OR FLOATING.

The twins living their lives trying to learn powers, only staying in shack or lab as can't really go out, they have gone out a few times with Stan while hiding in his coat. They know all about their dad (The human one at least) stuck in the portal.

Soos knows about them of course he's been working at the shack since he was a kid, he loves both the little demon dudes and is the best big cousin/brother

It's only that summer when they're 12 that the twins have figured out how to turn in human forms for as long as they want. So Stan tells everyone his niece and nephew are coming to live with him, he's going to enroll them in school after summer.

The twins are so exited to finally go out and explore gravity falls and meet people, Mabel is so excited for friends. Dipper really wants to learn about the mystery and all the weird stuff and maybe learn more about his and Mabel's powers they think they could do more but have no idea what they could do.

They have a rule with Stan, no demon powers (As long as you don't get caught and it can't be traced back to us)

Ford returning and suddenly facing his brother...and his son and daughter.

[wandering-tides]

Chapter 332 of Part 2 be like:

Cale here increasing Alberu's blood pressure but also easing his work load at the same time LOL 🤣