fawnindawn

[fawnindawn]

LADS WE FOUND A GEMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can already tell these is gonna be in the favs, love the build up and it's making the meet-cute (or probably meet-cry) so anticipated. Jason Todd, you will always haunt everyone you know. Also, childhood friends trope will always drag me down.

never let me go.

PART ONE ➺ series masterlist

[jason todd x reader]

summary — you’ve returned to gotham after a few years away, having left as soon as you could to escape the constant reminders of your deceased best friend, jason todd. you expected to be haunted by the ghost of him the minute you stepped foot in the city, but certainly not like this — the city you call home has much more in store than you could have imagined. warnings — childhood best friends to lovers, mentions of death + mourning, angst a/n; my first jason series! i hope you guys like it and please let me know your thoughts! <3

You step out of the revolving doors of Wayne Enterprises, grimacing as you leave the sweet kiss of air conditioning blowing on your face to step into the suffocating August heat.

The humidity turns the whole city of Gotham into a pressure cooker, warm air sinking into the pavement and rising from the streets in thick waves like something sentient as it clings to your skin. Each inhale you take is more stifling than the last, the scents of gasoline, hot metal, the occasional waft of something fried from a street cart dizzying you.

Wayne Tower looms tall behind you, its glass windows tinted gold in the dying sunlight that cast you in a warm glow as you leave for the evening. Your work day is over, but the streets are still restless, businessmen bustling around trying to hail cabs, couples weaving through the foot traffic, kids running from their parents’ grasps.

You adjust the strap of your tote bag and start walking, the sound of your heels clicking against the sidewalk getting lost under the city’s constant hum.

The air smells like rain, even thought the sky is clear, just streaked with the last bruised colours of a sunset. It’ll storm soon, you think, squinting at the sky. Gotham in August always storms.

You walk faster, eager to get home and nearly bump into a couple of teenagers loitering outside a bodega. The neon glow of the sign flickers and spills onto the sidewalk, casting them in a sickly green hue. The glass doors swing open and shut as customers come and go, but the teens are laughing quietly, heads inclined towards each other and paying no mind to anyone else.

One of them nudges the other with an exaggerated shove, nearly sending them off the curb. It’s careless, completely normal. And yet you find yourself feeling suddenly hollow inside.

You snap out of it when they start walking, barely sidestepping in time to avoid colliding with the girl.

“Shit, sorry,” she mutters, stuffing a crinkled bag of chips into her hoodie pocket.

“No worries,” you reply automatically, but something in the scene pulls at you, holding you for a beat too long. The girl gives you a once over, her gaze lingering on your work attire — you don’t look like you belong here. She raises her brows, before turning away to join her friend.

The easy way they stand together, the teasing and the unspoken promise that they have each other’s back is clear as day with the way they angle themselves towards each other as they walk.

You want to open your mouth and tell them you once sat exactly where they’re hanging out, wearing clothes the complete opposite of the sleek pantsuit that’s basically become your uniform this last year. Using watermelon lip gloss and smudgy eyeliner instead of the sophisticated neutral tones that now make you look softer, unassuming.

Instead, you turn on your heal and continue to walk the familiar path home, lost in thought.

You’re fourteen, sitting on the curb outside the same bodega, nursing a stolen Coke between your hands. Jason is next to you, one leg stretched onto the sidewalk, the other bent up to rest his arm over his knee. He’s grinning, breathless and there’s a fresh scrape on his cheek from the chase.

“You should’ve seen your face,” he laughs, reaching over to shove at your shoulder. “I swear, I thought you were going to trip and eat the pavement.”

You glare at him, but can’t help the smile forming on your own face. “I wouldn’t have had to run if you hadn’t mouthed off to that guy.”

Jason simply shrugs, expression smug. “He was being a dick. You know I can’t let that slide.”

You shake your head, taking a sip of your Coke. It’s warm now, borderline flat, but it tastes like victory. The city hums around you, cars speeding past, the distant wail of sirens. The radio inside the bodega is playing something old and crackly and you sigh.

Jason leans back on his hands and tilts his head at you. “We’re gonna get out of here someday, y’know.”

“Yeah?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. “Where to?”

“Anywhere,” he says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world for two teenagers with no money. “Paris. London. Some random island where nobody knows our names.”

“‘Cause everyone knows who we are right now,” you quip back.

He nudges your sneaker with his own. “We’ll be big shots. No more scraping by. No more running from guys twice our size. Well. My size. Thrice yours.”

You snort, letting that one go. The way he says it makes you want to believe it.

You lean back beside him, staring up at the night sky, barely visible with the haze of light pollution. “Being the smarter one, I think I should get to pick the first destination.”

“Deal,” Jason says, tugging on a strand of your hair and laughing it off when you swat his hand away. He swipes the Coke from your hands and takes a large swig. “Goodbye, Gotham.”

You rest your head on his shoulder and drop your voice to a whisper, almost like you’re making a wish, “Goodbye, Gotham.”

The sound of a car horn jolts you back. A cab driver is swearing at you for not looking at where you’re going, but you’re letting the words roll off your back, the phantom of Jason’s voice still lingering in your mind.

He’s gone now and you’re still here, because Gotham doesn’t let people go. Not that easily.

Bruce doesn’t ask you why you live near Crime Alley anymore. Dick doesn’t hound you about moving to a much nicer area every time he sees you — God knows you can afford it now, with the broke college student life well behind you. Even in an area as shitty as this, your apartment is a lot bigger than the one you had in New York during college.

Tim will still occasionally send you links to available apartments much nearer to Wayne Tower, but you don’t expect him to understand. He knows you grew up here, but he didn’t know you back then. He doesn’t know that you can navigate the area like the back of your hand and that you practically feel separation anxiety. You just tell him it’s easier to do your job as Wayne Enterprises’ Philanthropy and Outreach coordinator if you’re living in an area you’re actively trying to help.

It’s ridiculous, but you can’t sleep without the background noise that doesn’t come with the territory of a nice neighbourhood. Every time you visit your mom in her new place, you get antsy after half an hour and it’s not like she’s living in a mansion or anything.

You’re thankful you were able to get her out of working multiple jobs to make ends meet, and that Bruce was able to find her a much nicer position in one of his offices. Call it his guilty conscience, but you’re certainly not complaining.

You don’t talk about Jason with him, but he knows it’s one of the reasons you stay where you are. He knows you feel a similar sense of survivor’s guilt and that it keeps you staying in an apartment where the weekly rent is less than the cost of your work heels. An apartment where the keys get jammed into the lock every time you try to open the damn door.

Once you’re in, you drop your bag at the door and toe off your heels, with a sigh. The apartment is quiet, the way it always is. You should eat something. Maybe shower. Maybe call your mom back.

You open your fridge instead. It’s half empty, unsurprisingly, but it’s not until you scan the shelves that you realise you’re out of milk and cold brew. And, now that you’re thinking about it, anything that could be considered dinner.

For a second, you debate it. The bodega right downstairs is closed, and the only place open this light is a 24-hour convenience store a few blocks over. You could just deal with it in the morning, but the thought of starting the day without caffeine is enough to have you grabbing your keys and slipping on your sneakers.

The night air is thick and humid, and you find yourself grateful for the light rain spitting on your face and cooling you down. Thankfully, the convenience store is empty, save for Mr Ruiz, the old man who runs the place, who sits behind the counter, flipping through a newspaper. He looks up when the bell chimes.

“Late night, sweetheart?” he asks kindly, too used to your visits.

“Something like that,” you say, grabbing some coffee, milk and a pack of ramen for good measure. You pause for a second before grabbing some chocolate too.

As you set the things down on the counter, Mr Ruiz shakes his head. “You be careful walking home, alright? Some punks started trouble just outside here earlier. Nasty fight.”

“I’m always careful,” you brush him off, undeterred, fingers brushing over the taser in your pocket as you reach for your wallet. Jason had given it to you in the first year of becoming Robin. Tim has had to spruce it up a bit for you since, to make sure it still works. It probably works a little too good now, but at least you feel better walking the streets at night.

“Swiped it from the Batcave. B’s got a whole stash of them, he won’t miss one. Just zap and run, alright?”

You just laugh — it seems a little overkill. But Jason just crosses his arms, eyes turning serious for once. “Just take it. Please?”

“Alright, chill,” you say, rolling your eyes and gingerly plucking it from his hands and he visibly relaxes. “I doubt I’ll even need it. I have Batman and Robin under my belt now, don’t I?”

His smile falters for just a second. “Yeah, well. I can’t always be around, y’know?”

You raise a brow at him. “Could’ve fooled me. You’ve been at my house every day this past week.”

“That’s not what I mean,” he huffs out a laugh but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “I’m always patrolling with B now, sure. But… you know it’s dangerous shit, right? Anything could happen.”

You frown, unsettled by his words for a beat before shuffling closer and flicking his forehead. He makes a startled noise and you smirk, leaning back against your bed, fiddling around with the taser. “Not to you, stupid. You’re always gonna be around to annoy me.”

“It’s a good thing Hood was around tonight,” Mr Ruiz says, bringing you back to the moment.

“Hood?” You blink, opening up your wallet.

He gives you a look like you’ve just asked him who Batman is. “Red Hood. Guy with the mean looking helmet? Ain’t afraid to get a little rough?”

The more you think about it, you have heard his name before, probably on the news. You don’t tend to spend as much time in your own neighbourhood, considering how busy you are with work. And you haven’t been back from college for long enough to be familiar with as many Gotham vigilantes beyond Bruce and co. At this point, there are so many running around the city, it’s hard to keep track.

“Yeah, sure. That guy,” you say, handing him a bill and nodding. “Good to know.”

Mr Ruiz shakes his head at you, bagging your things. “Just be careful. It’s Gotham.”

You nod, having heard those words a million times before and you offer him a smile before heading back outside.

Whatever happened earlier seems to have disappeared, the street completely empty. No signs of a fight, no lingering trouble. Just the flickering street lamp, the distant yells from a domestic dispute in some nearby apartment and that too familiar feeling — that someone is watching you.

Your fingers tighten around the taser in your pocket.

But when you glance up at the rooftop, as always, there’s nothing there. Just the city skyline stretching endlessly above you.

© angelfic. 2025

[fawnindawn]

As a writer I need everyone to know that whenever I write "exchanged glances" my intent is this

[fawnindawn]

Here We Go Again (Voices In His Head) - jason todd x reader

- you knew dating jason meant you would face trials, but an argument takes things too far. (angst to happy ending, i swear!/jason says mean things but he'll make it up to you <3)

When you first started dating Jason, he warned you many times that he had issues. There were some he told in short, quick breaths. The origins of scars he can't uncover to you, blood under his nails he can't quite be rid of, anger that never truly goes away. There were some you discovered yourself. He can't sleep with a blanket because it makes him feel suffocated, he flinches when there's construction in the neighbourhood, he shuts down and goes silent suddenly because of a patrol gone wrong.

"Don't shut me out, Jay."

He's been avoiding your gaze ever since he returned. You don't know what went wrong since his return from patrol, but there's that haunted look in his gaze, that clench in his jaw that shows its something he can't easily wash away.

"You won't understand." His voice is a cutting knife, with the carrying assumption heavy in the air. You never will. His eyes convey what hurts you most, the utter belief when he spits those words to your face.

Then why was it that you could read him like a book?

"How will you know if you won't let me try?" Your voice breaks, and you wish he could just let you in to prove him wrong.

There is a resigned expression on his face, filled with pity and self-hatred. You want to stop those thoughts that corrupt his will to find happiness, to see faults in every action he commits. To think the burden to save Gotham is on his shoulders because he's the only one that dares to do what others can't.

"You think I can't handle it." You know it's wrong to assume but when silence and vague words are the only companions you have in this conversation, you can't help but think it. "I was born and raised here too, Jason. I know what happens on our streets, I know that everyday, you try your best, but what ever happened today-"

"-Is nothing you have ever seen." He snaps, cutting you off as he finally looks at you, fire in his eyes. "You hear these things, from the news- from me, but you've never seen it for yourself. The children who died for nothing, those who deserve to die that rot in their mansions like pigs. Everything that's hidden from the public eye that continues to worsen every single day that I fail. That is why you'll never understand."

Flashes of everything the two of you have been through together, feels like it's being pushed further and further away. "What's the point then? Approaching me, letting me love you, and pushing it all away? Breaking what we built?"

He stares, watching you like you're out of reach. HIs fingers twitch, and his mouth nearly speaks the words needed to stop this fight. To bring you back into his arms. I love you. That's why.

"I don't know."

A beat. Then another. The silence stretches throughout your home, and of all the answers in the world, he chose the one dagger to stab you in the heart.

"You are afraid." You mutter, numb and empty. If he wants to treat you as an outsider to his life, you can't stop him. "You don't think I understand that you're pushing me away because you think it will protect me from your pain, but I do. I know you, Jason, and that doesn't stop me from loving you."

You see the flinch in his gaze, and the regret ready to pour out of his mouth.

"But you win." Your mouth tastes bitter with the admission. "I give in. I surrender. If you are determined it will end this way, I can't help you. Not till you see it for yourself, that the only reason I'm leaving is because you gave me no other choice."

Your feet move out the door, out of the home you share, and he doesn't stop you.

Six months pass like time is a fragmented concept, leaves curling and falling down the pavements, colouring the city a murky brown. It's a funny thing, how someone so deeply ingrained into your mind, fades from the city as if he never existed. As if he was a conjuring of your own imagination, you start to wonder if the phantom sting in your heart is the only evidence left of your time with him.

You do your best to ignore the betrayal that creeps up your throat on days when you swear you spot his shadow lingering near bus stops, or on your walks home, only to be reminded that he doesn't care enough to even show up to your door. You swallow back the sobs that threaten to escape you at night, you bury him in the back of your mind and you try to sleep, knowing that he used to lay his head beside yours at night.

It's late, and you're still tossing and turning, trying to fall asleep when you hear a knock at your window. You pause in your fretting, frozen to what couldn't be- Yes, it's that familiar, steady knock, three times on the glass which you both agreed to. It's been months. He can't possibly be here. Still, your body is a traitor to your mind, rushing at the familiarity, with a sickening hope towards your window. The familiar red helmet greets you, as well as the crimson blood staining his jacket.

When he slips in, you hate how your mind works in clockwork routine, grabbing the emergency kit as he slides down the wall, gripping his wound. The quiet has never rung so loud, deafeningly thick with questions raised in the air.

"It isn't fair." You spoke through the thick of the silence. "Coming to me because you know I'll open the door. After being quiet for months, after everything-"

"Six months, eight days, twenty hours." He cuts you off. His helmet is laying beside him, and you have a clear sight to a smile so wounded, and eyes so resigned as he looks at you. "If we're to be exact."

Your steps falter, and you starting to lean towards the possibility that you're hallucinating him, too tired from work, too tired to push away your vulnerability when it comes to him. Yet, even with a tired blink and a tightened grip on the metal box in your hand, he's still there in your view, and you've already kneeled down in front of him, taking in the blood on his hands.

You don't respond, because what is there to say to the revelation that he's kept track of the very day you turned your back on him. Instead, you lift his shirt to assess the wound. It's not one worth coming all the way to your apartment in the freezing cold, merely a deep scratch that gashed his skin, but nothing he couldn't take care of himself. An excuse, a lure, or maybe you're just thinking too much whenever it's about him.

Your eyes snap to his, questioning with your gaze. He knows he's caught, but he doesn't seem to care.

"I've been an idiot. A major dickhead." He breathes out, eyes lingering over your features, frantically taking all of you in. It's a hungry, desperate look that contrasts everything you've believed in the past months of torture. That he's forgotten you. "That day, I chose every possible wrong decision to hurt you, when you were the one I wanted to see most."

He clenches his jaw before he speaks again. "A child died in my arms that day."

Your eyes widen, and you feel guilt consume you for leaving him alone that day. "Jason-"

"No, I know what you're thinking, but don't think for a second about apologising when I didn't communicate to you properly." His gaze is serious as he continues. "My behaviour was awful, when you had only wanted to make sure I was okay, I pushed you away."

He looks at you, gaze softening. "You do understand me, and I was so afraid of feeling seen by you the same way I see myself, that I pushed you away. I lost you, and you were damn right to leave for the way I treated you."

You're silent, his confession too much, too sudden, too him. You had thought with time, your memories of him, the anguish in your heart would fade. Having him in front of you, carrying that same weight in his gaze that tells you more than words can speak, you can't deny just how much you've missed him. Tears leak out from your eyes, and you're sure you look a horrible mess, but he only wipes your tears gently.

"My biggest regret is that I should've ran after you. No, I shouldn't have even let you go without telling you that I love you." His fingers are shaking as he caresses your face. "I may be right about being broken, but that shouldn't have excused me from making myself the right man for you."

"I don't deserve your forgiveness, or your love. You can treat me like absolute shit, and I will take it all. But I will work every single day, till my last breath, to make sure you never doubt that you are loved, because you deserve to know that if anything I know about love, it is you."

"I love you. And no apology will ever be enough to change the fact that you didn't feel it from me." His voice is so raw, so choked with anguish, and this might be the closest semblance to tearing his heart out for you. "Will you still have me, if I promise you that if you ever feel like I screwed something up, you can shoot me in the head?"

You choke back a laugh through your sobs, hitting him in the chest, and he grabs hold of your hand, a warm, steady grip as he brings it to his lips and presses the softest kiss onto your skin. You steady your breath, before you finally speak again. "If you ever screw up, I promise you that you'll face much worse that a headshot."

He smiles, practically aglow as he leans in, nose brushing yours. "Make that a promise, sweetheart."

"And we're going to have a proper talk when you're all patched up, got it?"

He nods diligently, and your heart delights at the sight of him so obedient. "Anything you want." He drawls.

You see his eyes flicker to your lips, but he's holding back. Waiting for you.

"Are you going to kiss me?"

Your teasing words barely leave your mouth before he kisses you. It feels just like the first time, sweet and desperate, and you swear you can feel his promise sealed upon your lips. That this time, he won't let go.

[fawnindawn]

Past the Cemetery Gates

I haven't written ak!red hood in a while so here he is! This was originally for a request but I read the ask wrong and didn't realize until it was too late cause I'm mostly running off cough medicine and coffee  CW: You get chased and harassed by some creeps, and then there's some possible murder ~6.2k words

Every Sunday at three in the afternoon, you have a routine. You walk to the train station, take the six train four stops north, and, if the weather is good, you'll walk exactly six blocks to get to Gotham Cemetery. (If the weather is bad, however, you're more inclined to wait for the three-thirty-five bus, which stops almost exactly in front of the old, iron gates that lead into the graveyard)

This is the routine you have followed for every week of your life since Jason Todd died, ripped from your side by a cruel twist of fate. They called it a disappearance, an accident, a runway, all things you knew it wasn't. But it was Dick, after months and months of begging for the truth, for crumbs of anything to help ease your grief, who called it for what it was. A murder. A life ended by the bloodstained hands of the Joker.

It became a fact that engraved itself to the very core of your soul. Jason Todd was murdered. Jason Todd was murdered, so every Sunday, you find yourself standing six feet above where he should lay resting, where he should be resting forever. But the coffin you helped bury is empty, devoid of anyone or anything to care if you appear on Sundays or not.

Even so, visiting him, visiting the headstone with his name, just feels like what you have to do. He was your best friend, your foundation, and no matter how many months or years pass, it doesn't change that he is at the core of who you became. Your jokes mirror his humor, your favorite color was his too, your room is still littered with trinkets that remind you of him. You still throw punches just the way he taught you.

You couldn't just move past Jason, it never felt right to even try. So when you do go see him– his grave– you tell him about your week. Scrub the marble rock and leave flowers while you ramble about whatever is going on in the world, share jokes, relive memories, spill secrets, all to the boy who can never answer again. 

This is what you do, rain or shine, whether the city is in havoc or in some semblance of peace, in a rare calm before the next storm of mayhem whatever rouge designs to inflict on the streets of Gotham. (You've missed this tradition only once. Only the week Batman was revealed as Bruce Wayne, only after Batman died, and you had another empty coffin to stand by as it was lowered into the dirt)

It's something you're so used to, a task you know like the back of your hand. Every other Sunday, you'll run into a family with flowers, the ones that stop at a pristine white headstone to tell their grandmother about how big her grandchildren are getting. Every third Sunday, the flowers and gifts you leave behind are cleaned up by the caretakers once you leave. Every Sunday, save one or two, you smile at the elderly woman who walks in with a coffee and newspaper in hand.

These are all things that you're used to, facts known in your soul. It's why you notice him. The man in the ball cap and hoodie that hovers two rows and seven headstones behind you. The one that's been standing there before you arrive, and stands there no matter how long you stay, for the past three Sundays you've been visiting Jason. 

It's not exactly wrong for him to be there. It's just new. Different. And ever since Bruce died– ever since Dick disappeared without a whisper– you've been on edge. The whole city has been, really, but you can't help but feel like there's still a price you have to pay. That your time is somehow up. That after years of knowing who Batman is– after losing Jason and being able to do nothing about it– you're going to face something. 

You think it might be karma. Or maybe it's retribution. But there's a score to settle with the universe–  with something or someone out there. After all, knowledge has never been free in Gotham, and the weight of being associated with Batman always comes with a cost. 

It's not like you were a hero, or even the slightest bit a vigilante, but it wouldn't take a genius to figure out that you cared for Jason, and that Jason was Robin, Batman's protege.

And with no heroes left in Gotham to exact revenge on, why wouldn't they look for the next best thing? Why wouldn't that eventually make you a target? 

The paranoia isn't exactly your notion, but Tim's last, frantic warning before he went dark. But his words ring true, you've seen how everyone who's ever even talked to Bruce Wayne has been put under a microscope but the media, the GCPD, the world. And even if they haven't gotten their claws into you, it's only a matter of time before they, or someone with a score to settle does.

(Tim wasn't even the only person to warn you to watch your back, The GCPD's very own commissioner mentioned his own hushed concerns at Bruce's funeral. You had thanked him, and tried not to think too hard about what Babs not being there meant)

It should scare you, but all you feel is a vague sense of resignation. You just hope, that if whatever's coming finally catches up to you, if the slow creeping dread and feelings of being watched catches up to you, you'll find your way back to Jason.

You're snapped out of your thoughts when a voice speaks lowly behind you, you jolt, scolding yourself for getting caught off guard. But then his words register, and you whirl around, fuming, "What did you say?"

The stranger jerks his head towards the gravestone– Jason's headstone– "He was a stupid kid."

"He was not–" You start to hiss, huffing up in defense of the boy that meant everything to you, before he cuts you off.

"He was. He got himself caught. Caused a lot of problems. Trusted the wrong people. Did everything wrong and for what," he scoffs.

Your glare hardens as you step forward, trying to see under the ballcap and hood drawn low over his face, "He helped people. You can't just come here and spew whatever you feel like–"

He cuts you off again with the sound of your name, almost a warning, almost a threat. "Why are you really here," He asks, and you feel a chill creep up your spine as he digs his fists further into his pockets.

"I– always come here," you settle on. You know Bruce would chastise you for giving away your routine, but you can't find it in yourself to care when he already knows your name, with your blood simmering beneath your skin. 

"It's a waste of time. There's no one here to care," he protests, lips curling into a sneer.

"I care," you mumble, the fight draining out of you. You know that, in a way, he's right. There's no body. No Jason. No reward or salvation in your weekly visits. But you come anyway. It's just what you do. 

He stares at you for a moment more, you assume if you could see under the shadow of his ball cap he would be scowling. He doesn't say anything more, just turns and leaves you to a silent headstone and an empty grave. 

You don't mean to stay as long as you do, after he leaves. But you linger among the marble and granite gravestones for a long time, lost in your own thoughts, the feeling that, even in death, you find new ways to fail Jason Todd. It's not a feeling that makes sense, but grief rarely is. 

It's not until you realize you've missed your usual train home, that you finally find your bearings, that you force yourself to smile and wave to someone that's not there. Never there. Never will be there. 

The walk to the train station is fine, if not a bit windy. The train ride is normal, if a little quieter than normal. But the problem comes as you step off the stairs of the subway and onto the streets, and a low whistle breaks the strange silence that's been cast over the city just as the sun begins to set. 

"Come join us, sweet cheeks," a voice drawls, stumbling and slurred as he trips over his feet and words, "You look like you need the company." Four equally drunk men follow him, grins leering as they take you in and lewdly gesture for you to come closer.

Dread settles in your stomach, far worse than it did when the stranger approached you in the cemetery. Night is falling, and everyone knows that there's no solace in the shadows anymore, no watchful eye in the dark to save you. You drop your gaze and start walking, steady, but quick as you ignore their groans of annoyance and agitation. 

"Hey, hey, where are ya going," one of the men calls after you, and their pace quickens to match yours, "No need to be all shy. We just wanna be friends."

Another of them snickers, "Oh, yeah, close friends."

A gust of wind blows through your clothes, and you suppress a shiver, every nerve on edge as you focus on putting on foot in front of the other. 

The teasing tone in the air shifts, and a rough hand grabs your shoulder, turning you around– you hadn't realized just how close they'd gotten. 

"Would ya look at that? Knew I recognized you from somewhere. Yer one of the Bat's little friends. Why don't ya tell us what it was like cuddling up to old Brucie, " he leers, grin wide and menacing. 

"Back off," you snap, fed with strangers who think they have a right to your past.

"Don't be such a killjoy," He huffs, half playful, half a real, honest threat, "Just give us a chance to get to know ya. We only wanna have some fun, is all." His hand starts to drop along your shoulder blade, and his voice goes vicious, "It'll be a good time, baby, promise." 

Instinct takes over before you can think better on it, and you aim a hook right for his chin. It's one of your better punches, one that sends him stumbling back into the arms of his drunken friends. 

Everything freezes, their gazes dart between you and the reeling man pushing himself back to his feet. There's a snarl on his face, a manic look in his eyes, and all it takes is for him to open his mouth and start hissing cusses at you for you to turn on your heel and run. 

It takes less time than you'd hope for them to realize you're running, even less for them to start following you. 

You're going to die, is what runs through your head as you duck around corners and rush through the darkening streets. You're going to die and they're going to hide your body and no one is ever going to find you and you're going to rot at the bottom of Gotham Harbor and you'll just be another statistic in the never ending plague crime that always seems to win.

Laughs and jeers sound behind you as you run, the sound of heavy feet hitting concrete follows you down the twists and turns of Gotham's alleyways. They're close, too close. You don't know how a group of drunken catcallers could be so fast, but they are. 

"Come back here," They snap at you, practically breathing down your neck. You can feel fingers brushing against your back, hear their taunts in your ears. But you just need to keep running, if you can make it to your building– make it to other people– 

A hand catches your arm painfully, cutting your thoughts short and throwing you to the ground. "Caught you," the man sneers, grabbing the back of your shirt to drag you in an isolated alley. The other four men follow behind, panting and jostling each other as snide grins fill their faces.

You kick, claw at the hands pulling you into the alley, but it only makes them laugh harder as he hoists you up to slam you into a wall. You wince, head spinning as you push and shove at his arms, but he hardly seems to notice as his friends creep closer, eager and excited. 

"Shouldn't have done that, there ain't anyone here to save ya" he grumbles, the air rancid with the smell of alcohol as he grabs at your jacket, "We coulda had a good time, but ya had to go be difficult and run the fun for–"

The weight is ripped off you in an instant, you barely have time to process the relief that floods your senses when you're jarred to stillness by the blood red bat that meets your eyes. There's not supposed to be any bats left in Gotham, but your mind is quick to supply the faint recollection of whispers you've heard of a new vigilante. Rumors made fact by the truth in front of you, Red Hood.

"You're dead," he says, even and tight, even though the modulator. He says it not to you, but to them, the men backing up wearily and uneasily. "You're all dead," he repeats, voice dropping as they exchange glances, not knowing what to make of him. 

You don't quite know what to make of him either. His fists are clenched, his muscles are tense, but the set of his shoulders is confident, self assured that he can deliver on his threats. He's steady and shaking all at once, and you have the distinct feeling he's shaking out of sheer rage, of holding back from whatever he's planning on doing. 

The air is heavy, you're practically holding your breath as you press back against the wall, unable to look away. They're afraid. You can't help but be too. Red Hood– hero or not– is dangerous. You can feel his anger vibrating against your skin, taste his vow to kill them in the air.

One of the men laughs, "You can't take all of us–" he starts, and the tension snaps, Red Hood snaps.

You know you should run. You know you should turn away, but you can't. You watch every punch that meets flesh, every splatter of blood that hits the concrete, every limb that twists in a way that it shouldn't. You hear every plea for mercy, every sickening crunch of bone, every gasp and wheeze for air. 

You witness it all, every time his boot comes down onto mangled limbs, every time his gloved hands drags back a man that tries to flee. He doesn't stop, doesn't offer a hint of compassion until the alley is silent, save for his heaving of his chest beneath his armor. 

Only then does he turn back to you. You regret not running while you had the chance. But even as your knees shake and you curse your frozen state, you have the feeling he would have followed you if you had run. 

He walks closer, your mind goes blank in fear, and he gently brushes his fingers over your cheek, observing the wetness that soaks into his gloves when he pulls his hand away. You didn't even realize you were crying.  

"Did they… hurt you," he asks, words short and clipped and not at all comforting. 

It takes all of your strength to will yourself into shaking your head. You're scratched up from being dragged, your head hurts from when it hit the wall, but telling him any of that? You're afraid of giving him any excuse to stay.

He studies you, judges you, and you do the same. His helmet glows eerily in the dim light of the alley, as red as the crimson bat on his back. He's not shaking anymore, but he doesn't seem calm either. You imagine he's still feeling the same adrenaline that's coursing through your veins. But you doubt he feels the same urge to get as far away from the situation as possible.

The silence drags on for too long, and you feel like you have to break it, get him to stop staring at you. Especially when it feels like he's picking you apart, like he knows exactly what's going on in your head. "Thank you," you settle on, words careful and quiet as you do your best to wipe the tears from your face.

He straightens out, a huff of a laugh filling your ears like he can't believe what he's hearing, "You're thanking me for killing them?"

"I'm thanking you for saving me," you correct, focusing your gaze on a random brick of the alley, doing your best to avoid looking at the carnage he laid waste behind him, to ignore the unnatural silence save for you and him. 

He hunches back into himself, and you can't help but feel uneasy that he's still here, like he's waiting for something. "You shouldn't be out here," he tells you.

You think that's obvious enough and you almost want to roll your eyes, but your knees are still shaking, and you can't find the strength to push off the wall yet. So you nod instead, hoping he'll leave you to figure it out alone, to have a moment where you can let it all wash over you and just break down. 

"I can take you home," he says, after another long moment of silence, voice flat without a hint of emotion to betray his true feelings. 

That grabs your attention, pulling you out a spiral you didn't even realize you were in, "No, it's–" you start. 

"You're scared of me," he cuts you off, demanding.

You think that this is obvious too. "Anyone would be," you admit reluctantly, and you hate that you feel like you're answering wrong, like he expects something different from you. 

You watch as his fists clench than unclench, and his head ducks like he's lost in thought, "Fine. You're scared. Be scared," he lifts his head again, tone almost accusing, "It doesn't change that it's not safe for you to stay here, or that I'm taking you home."

"I can get myself back–" you begin, pushing yourself off the wall as your heart rate spikes. The last thing you want is for him to know where you live, for you to get involved in anymore people that wear the symbol of the bat. But your protests count for nothing when pain shoots up from your ankle, making your knees buckle under your own weight.

You wince, expecting to hit the cold concrete, but it's warm, leather covered arms that catch you instead, cradling you against sturdy armor. 

You freeze, you think he freezes too, until he exhales softly, tension draining from his body, "You said you weren't hurt."

"I didn't think I was," you mumble, almost embarrassed as you brace your hands unsurely against his arms trying to push yourself back up onto your uninjured foot. You roll your ankle slowly, wincing quietly at the pain that radiates when you move it. You must sprained it at some point, you realize.

Red Hood just holds you tighter when you try to move, silent as if he's weighing his options. "I'll carry you," he tells you, already maneuvering you to lift you into his arms.

It just makes you squirm, uneasy over this stranger, how easy this all seems to be for him, "I don't need to be carried."

He sucks in a breath through his teeth, a noise you can only hear because he's holding you so close, and says your name like he's trying to find all the patience in the world to deal with you, "You didn't used to mind being picked up."

Your world tilts on its axis and he lifts you into his arms like his words didn't change everything– like the fact that he knows you means nothing at all. You should be scared, should be terrified of him, but you just feel resigned. It was only a matter of time before the consequences of knowing Batman– knowing Robin– caught up to you. Really you're just surprised it didn't happen sooner.

But something about his words itches at your skin. It's not far-fetched for him to know your name. What is strange, what's wrong even, is that he thought you wouldn't mind being carried. Because you didn't used to.

"Why do you know that," you ask, surprising yourself with how steady your voice sounds.

He doesn't answer for a moment, just carries you through the dark twist and turns of Gotham's alleyways, "Lots of people know your name," he decides on telling you, once you start to squirm in his arms.

"That's not what I asked," you protest, but even as you press him for details, you're starting to get more concerned about where he's bringing you than why he knows your name.

"I keep track of all of Batman's associates," he says, voice more strained than truthful, even through the modulator of his helmet.

"Is that why you wear the bat," you prompt, curiosity making you speak before you can think on your words, "Did you know him?" Honestly, while you don't claim to know all of Bruce's vigilante friends, you'd like to think you would have known about someone like Red Hood. (and really you would feel safer if he was a friend of Bruce)

His grip shifts on you, the only indicator that he's uncomfortable with your line of questions, "It's a reminder."

You both ignore how he avoids your second question. Even if he saved you, you still haven't gotten comfortable with the vigilante that attacked those men with such ruthlessness and precision. You start to ask another question, torn between wanting to know what it's a reminder of and wanting to know where he's taking you, before he cuts you off.

"Do you always interrogate the people trying to help you," he sighs out, head tipping down as if he's trying to get a look at your face.

"Only when I don't know where they're taking me after," you snark out, with more bite than you probably should have. 

"I'm taking you home," he supplies, picking up his pace like he can't get rid of you fast enough.

"Whose home? My home? You know where I live," you rapid fire at him, throat tightening with panic.

He stumbles a little, a noise of alarm escapes the back of your throat, but he doesn't drop you.

"I– my home?" he tries, but you know it's a lie. He knows that you know he's lying, and his shoulders deflate a little when you start accusing him of it.

"You know where I live," you say slowly, voice sure and steady despite your fear.

"I know where lots of people live," he grumbles, and goes right back to his quickened walk, just shy of jogging and nearly jostling you in his arms.

"Is this some kind of revenge plot," you start, finality sinking into your bones, "Because if you're trying to get back at anyone– at Batman– I'm not gonna try to–"

He snorts, cutting off your words, and you note that it sounds unpracticed. His grip softness before he speaks again, "No, been there, done that. Didn't help. I really am just trying to get you home safe."

A part of you believes him, but a bigger part of you just wants to grab his helmet and rip it off his head. He's frustrating, and even as your apartment building comes into view, even as the ordeal comes towards an end, you find yourself wanting to know him. 

It's a feeling in the pit of your stomach that you can't explain. He knows you. He knows– knew– Batman. And you want to know him, or at the least, how he's aware of all of it. 

"Who are you," you breathe out, the sound barely a whisper. It's the one question that's truly been plaguing you since he said you didn't used to mind being carried. You can count the people who knew that on one hand. And for him to say it so casually, to say it like he's experienced it first hand, you don't like what it implies. 

"Red Hood," he answers gruffly, voice clipped, "Do you think you can get up to your place by yourself?"

"No," you huff out, annoyance creeping into your face. In truth, you probably could limp your way up to your apartment, but you're not willing to let this go. Not when there's more to this– to him– than he's willing to share with you.

He stands still outside your building for a full thirty seconds before mumbling, "Fine," and carrying you inside. Neither of you try to start a conversation. You don't dig for answers when he presses the correct number for your floor in the elevator. You don't even get angry when he walks right to your door without asking for directions.

He starts to put you down, but even with the clear unease and tension in his body, he's still careful.

"Wait," you say quickly, "I need help wrapping my ankle."

"You know how to do that," Red Hood sighs out, annoyance clear as day in his voice.

"I forgot how," you lie. You know you're being stubborn, you know inviting him in is dangerous, but every part of you feels like you need answers from him. That knowing will solve something. 

His silence is enough to pick up on that fact that he doesn't believe you in the slightest. But he doesn't try to pull away or leave when you lean into him and unlock your door. He doesn't even seem upset when you look up at him expectantly when the door swings open, he just loops an arm around your waist and guides you to the couch.

"Where's your kit," he asks once you've settled and seated.

"Bathroom," you supply easily, and he turns and walks in that direction without another word. It unnerves you that he knows where it is without you needing to guide him, but you can't say you're surprised. 

He comes back with the first aid kit quickly, and kneels in front of you to carefully take off your shoe. Red Hood observes your ankle for a moment before he tugs off his gloves and starts to dig through your first aid kit for bandages.

It gives you a chance to observe him. His armor looks strong enough, but his jacket is full of rips and tears. His hood hides most of his helmet, but what you can see seems more technologically advanced than you expected. There's guns and knives strapped to his thighs and you think you see a grenade hooked to his waist. It all radiates danger.

You turn your attention to the rest of him. Even with the hunch in his shoulders, he's big. You think he might be as tall Bruce is– was. You get the distinct, strange feeling that you would like the color of his eyes. 

His voice breaks the silence as he starts to wrap your ankle with calloused, warm hands.

"What," you ask dumbly, so lost in studying him, in the feel of his steady hands ghosting over your skin, you've missed what his words were. 

"You should keep ice on it, about thirty minutes at a time. And elevate it until the swelling goes down," He repeats, movements practiced as he finishes tending to your injury, "You got that?"

You remember that well enough, Jason had more than his fair share of sprained ankles when you were growing up, but there's no point in sharing that when you're meant to be playing dumb. "Got it," you say confidently.

"Good," he murmurs, standing up faster than you expected, like he can't wait to get as far away from you as possible.

"Wait," you startle, grabbing his wrist, "You still never told me who you are."

"I never said I would," he half-growls at you, but he doesn't tear his arm away from your hold.

"What if I need to contact you," you counter, fingers tightening into the fabric of his jacket.

He lets out a heavy sigh, and for the first time he seems genuinely annoyed. Red Hood levels you with a glare you can feel even through his helmet and grits out, "Why would you need to contact me."

You almost drop your grip on him, feeling as uneasy as you did watching him beat your attackers, "Well– those men went after me– they knew who I was. That I knew Batman, I mean, Bruce. And if they can figure it out–"

"You don't have to worry about that," he tells you, voice softening at the nervousness you don't quite mean to show him, "I took care of it already."

That does get you to drop his wrist, "But there's more people out there than them. What if Two-Face decides I'm an easy target? Or Penguin gets out of jail. Or–"

He says name sternly, cutting off your rambling, "I took care of it already."

"You– what" you question, confusion and surprise spreading across your face.

"I took care of it," he repeats again, nothing but fierce, decisive truth in his voice, "Anyone who thought they could get to you. Anyone who wanted to use you because of your connection to– to them. I took care of it."

It stuns you, and half expect him to leave you to your shock. But he stands there waiting, patient as if he's ready and willing to face your fury or your understanding. "Why," is all you manage to ask.

"I owe you," he murmurs, like it's his greatest secret, "If it wasn't for me… If I hadn't– If we didn't–" he cuts himself off with a pained groan, "It doesn't matter. It's too dangerous for you to be involved in this."

"I'm good at keeping secrets, and I'm already involved," you breathe out, feeling like you're at the edge of the abyss, "I might as well have a bat branded on me, you know."

He shifts uncomfortably, and you feel like with just one push, everything will change. You need to know. You need to know why he's gone out of his way to keep you safe, why he's offered you so much help, why his fingers lingered over your skin while he wrapped your ankle. 

His shoulders slump, defeated and drained, "I know. It'd be better if you just got out of the city."

"There's nowhere to go, even if there was, Batman has enemies everywhere," you say gently, shifting forward on the couch. "Please? I'm just– so tired of being in the dark." And it's the truth. You're exhausted by the radio silence from Dick and Tim and Barbara. You're sick of jumping at shadows, and you know it's not wrong to reach for something real– a raft in a storm. 

His head snaps up at your plea, and he lets out a low, almost inaudible curse, "You won't like the answer, sweetheart. They say ignorance is bliss."

"Ignorance is a curse," you counter, eyes meeting the blank red of his helmet in quiet defiance. 

"Just– don't freak out," he mumbles after a strained, heavy moment. You nod, and it takes a long, long minute for him to finally move. He reaches up, and the air disappears from your lungs. You expected him to tell you how he knew Batman, why he feels like he owes you, what he's been through to even want to care about your safety– not to reveal his identity. (Even if you had asked for it)

He removes his helmet, letting it hang loosely in his grip. And suddenly everything makes sense. Desperate, clear blue eyes stare right back at you. Red Hood– Jason Todd– clenches and unclenches his fists gaze unwavering as he waits for your judgement. When you offer none but silence, he speaks, "Do you understand now? Do you get why I took care of it? Why I'll keep taking care of it?"

"Jason," you finally manage to choke out, not bothering to hide the way your vision blurs with tears, "They said– I thought– I thought you were dead."

He cringes slightly, a pained look that scrunches his nose the exact same way it did when you were kids, "Yeah."

"You're not dead," you gasp and you don't mean to cry in front of him again, but your tears spill freely as the entire night, every awful thing that's happened since you've lost him, crashes over you, "You're not dead."

That breaks something in him, and he's back on his knees before you, cradling your face and wiping your tears with his thumbs without you even really registering that he's moving, "Yeah," he repeats, like it's the only word he can find in his vocabulary to say.

You press your palms to the back of his hands, distraught and frantic to keep him there, "I missed you."

A myriad of emotions flick over his face, disbelief, hurt, guilt, and a few you don't quite catch before he squeezes his eyes shut and mutters your name with such pain you want to scream, "I'm not– what you remember. I'm not good. You saw first hand what I'm capable of."

"I don't care," you stumble out quickly, "If you hadn't been there– if you didn't save me they would have–"

Your voice trails off when his finger tighten for the briefest second against your face, and his eyes open, flashing with a darkness you don't recognize, "I wouldn't have let them. It won't happen." His voice is hard, firm with certainty, and if the rage simmering under his voice was directed at you, you think you would have run.

But it's Jason, and the anger disappears as quickly as it comes once he starts drying your tears again. You exhale shakily and lean into his touch, relief outweighing any nerves settling in your stomach, "I'm glad you're here."

His fingers still over your skin for a moment before his fingers continue their soothing pattern against your cheeks and under your eyes, "Me too," he says softly, like admitting it too loudly will break something. His gaze darts to the window, and your heart drops in your chest. 

"I don't want you to go," you plead, and before you think better of it, you push off the couch to bury your face in his throat, arms hooking around his neck like they're your last life line.

He stiffens, and you freeze. You messed up, you messed up and now he's going to hate you and he's going to leave and never come back and you're an awful person for even thinking he'd want to hug you and– and his arms come up to hug you back, crushing you to his chest. 

He runs his hand up and down your spine, soothing you the same way he used to, "I'm not going anywhere, unless you want me to. Okay?"

You nod into his shoulder, the tension draining from your body. He's warm. You have no idea how you didn't catch on to the fact that it was him sooner. He still smells the same– save the gun powder– and he's still as gentle as he's always been when he touches you. 

"I'm so sorry–" you choke out, pressing yourself as close as you can to him, wanting to hold him against you forever, to prove to yourself again and again that he really is alive.

"We don't have to do that," he murmurs, and you nearly melt when he presses a kiss to your temple, "We can save the apologies for later."

You find yourself nodding again, wanting to savor him, the moment, the feeling that for the first time in longer than you can remember, something like hope is blossoming in your chest. You giggle a little when an absurd thought crosses your mind, unable to stifle it.

"What is it," He– Jason– asks quietly. 

"I need something new to do on Sundays now," you say into his shoulder, a smile forming on your face, "I used to– it's not funny– but I'd visit your grave then and now you're not dead and now I–"

"Don't have to," he finishes for you, gentle and almost fond. 

You hum in agreement, even if it wasn't what you were going to say.

"We can do something," he offers, tucking you closer. 

The suggestion makes you feel like you're floating on air, and longing wells in your throat, "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he echoes, and this time you do melt when he presses a kiss to the crown of your head, "We'll make a tradition of it."

"I'd like that," you admit, shy to reveal how much that means to you.

Jason squeezes your waist in answer, voice as tender as yours, "Me too." 

Your smile grows wider despite yourself. You still have more questions that you can form right now, but Jason is rubbing slow, soothing circles against your back, and you can feel the steady rise and fall of his chest against yours. So, Red Hood can wait. Gotham can wait. Everything else can wait until you both start to stitch yourself back together in each other's arms. 

[fawnindawn]

Here We Go Again (Voices In His Head) - jason todd x reader

- you knew dating jason meant you would face trials, but an argument takes things too far. (angst to happy ending, i swear!/jason says mean things but he'll make it up to you <3)

When you first started dating Jason, he warned you many times that he had issues. There were some he told in short, quick breaths. The origins of scars he can't uncover to you, blood under his nails he can't quite be rid of, anger that never truly goes away. There were some you discovered yourself. He can't sleep with a blanket because it makes him feel suffocated, he flinches when there's construction in the neighbourhood, he shuts down and goes silent suddenly because of a patrol gone wrong.

"Don't shut me out, Jay."

He's been avoiding your gaze ever since he returned. You don't know what went wrong since his return from patrol, but there's that haunted look in his gaze, that clench in his jaw that shows its something he can't easily wash away.

"You won't understand." His voice is a cutting knife, with the carrying assumption heavy in the air. You never will. His eyes convey what hurts you most, the utter belief when he spits those words to your face.

Then why was it that you could read him like a book?

"How will you know if you won't let me try?" Your voice breaks, and you wish he could just let you in to prove him wrong.

There is a resigned expression on his face, filled with pity and self-hatred. You want to stop those thoughts that corrupt his will to find happiness, to see faults in every action he commits. To think the burden to save Gotham is on his shoulders because he's the only one that dares to do what others can't.

"You think I can't handle it." You know it's wrong to assume but when silence and vague words are the only companions you have in this conversation, you can't help but think it. "I was born and raised here too, Jason. I know what happens on our streets, I know that everyday, you try your best, but what ever happened today-"

"-Is nothing you have ever seen." He snaps, cutting you off as he finally looks at you, fire in his eyes. "You hear these things, from the news- from me, but you've never seen it for yourself. The children who died for nothing, those who deserve to die that rot in their mansions like pigs. Everything that's hidden from the public eye that continues to worsen every single day that I fail. That is why you'll never understand."

Flashes of everything the two of you have been through together, feels like it's being pushed further and further away. "What's the point then? Approaching me, letting me love you, and pushing it all away? Breaking what we built?"

He stares, watching you like you're out of reach. HIs fingers twitch, and his mouth nearly speaks the words needed to stop this fight. To bring you back into his arms. I love you. That's why.

"I don't know."

A beat. Then another. The silence stretches throughout your home, and of all the answers in the world, he chose the one dagger to stab you in the heart.

"You are afraid." You mutter, numb and empty. If he wants to treat you as an outsider to his life, you can't stop him. "You don't think I understand that you're pushing me away because you think it will protect me from your pain, but I do. I know you, Jason, and that doesn't stop me from loving you."

You see the flinch in his gaze, and the regret ready to pour out of his mouth.

"But you win." Your mouth tastes bitter with the admission. "I give in. I surrender. If you are determined it will end this way, I can't help you. Not till you see it for yourself, that the only reason I'm leaving is because you gave me no other choice."

Your feet move out the door, out of the home you share, and he doesn't stop you.

Six months pass like time is a fragmented concept, leaves curling and falling down the pavements, colouring the city a murky brown. It's a funny thing, how someone so deeply ingrained into your mind, fades from the city as if he never existed. As if he was a conjuring of your own imagination, you start to wonder if the phantom sting in your heart is the only evidence left of your time with him.

You do your best to ignore the betrayal that creeps up your throat on days when you swear you spot his shadow lingering near bus stops, or on your walks home, only to be reminded that he doesn't care enough to even show up to your door. You swallow back the sobs that threaten to escape you at night, you bury him in the back of your mind and you try to sleep, knowing that he used to lay his head beside yours at night.

It's late, and you're still tossing and turning, trying to fall asleep when you hear a knock at your window. You pause in your fretting, frozen to what couldn't be- Yes, it's that familiar, steady knock, three times on the glass which you both agreed to. It's been months. He can't possibly be here. Still, your body is a traitor to your mind, rushing at the familiarity, with a sickening hope towards your window. The familiar red helmet greets you, as well as the crimson blood staining his jacket.

When he slips in, you hate how your mind works in clockwork routine, grabbing the emergency kit as he slides down the wall, gripping his wound. The quiet has never rung so loud, deafeningly thick with questions raised in the air.

"It isn't fair." You spoke through the thick of the silence. "Coming to me because you know I'll open the door. After being quiet for months, after everything-"

"Six months, eight days, twenty hours." He cuts you off. His helmet is laying beside him, and you have a clear sight to a smile so wounded, and eyes so resigned as he looks at you. "If we're to be exact."

Your steps falter, and you starting to lean towards the possibility that you're hallucinating him, too tired from work, too tired to push away your vulnerability when it comes to him. Yet, even with a tired blink and a tightened grip on the metal box in your hand, he's still there in your view, and you've already kneeled down in front of him, taking in the blood on his hands.

You don't respond, because what is there to say to the revelation that he's kept track of the very day you turned your back on him. Instead, you lift his shirt to assess the wound. It's not one worth coming all the way to your apartment in the freezing cold, merely a deep scratch that gashed his skin, but nothing he couldn't take care of himself. An excuse, a lure, or maybe you're just thinking too much whenever it's about him.

Your eyes snap to his, questioning with your gaze. He knows he's caught, but he doesn't seem to care.

"I've been an idiot. A major dickhead." He breathes out, eyes lingering over your features, frantically taking all of you in. It's a hungry, desperate look that contrasts everything you've believed in the past months of torture. That he's forgotten you. "That day, I chose every possible wrong decision to hurt you, when you were the one I wanted to see most."

He clenches his jaw before he speaks again. "A child died in my arms that day."

Your eyes widen, and you feel guilt consume you for leaving him alone that day. "Jason-"

"No, I know what you're thinking, but don't think for a second about apologising when I didn't communicate to you properly." His gaze is serious as he continues. "My behaviour was awful, when you had only wanted to make sure I was okay, I pushed you away."

He looks at you, gaze softening. "You do understand me, and I was so afraid of feeling seen by you the same way I see myself, that I pushed you away. I lost you, and you were damn right to leave for the way I treated you."

You're silent, his confession too much, too sudden, too him. You had thought with time, your memories of him, the anguish in your heart would fade. Having him in front of you, carrying that same weight in his gaze that tells you more than words can speak, you can't deny just how much you've missed him. Tears leak out from your eyes, and you're sure you look a horrible mess, but he only wipes your tears gently.

"My biggest regret is that I should've ran after you. No, I shouldn't have even let you go without telling you that I love you." His fingers are shaking as he caresses your face. "I may be right about being broken, but that shouldn't have excused me from making myself the right man for you."

"I don't deserve your forgiveness, or your love. You can treat me like absolute shit, and I will take it all. But I will work every single day, till my last breath, to make sure you never doubt that you are loved, because you deserve to know that if anything I know about love, it is you."

"I love you. And no apology will ever be enough to change the fact that you didn't feel it from me." His voice is so raw, so choked with anguish, and this might be the closest semblance to tearing his heart out for you. "Will you still have me, if I promise you that if you ever feel like I screwed something up, you can shoot me in the head?"

You choke back a laugh through your sobs, hitting him in the chest, and he grabs hold of your hand, a warm, steady grip as he brings it to his lips and presses the softest kiss onto your skin. You steady your breath, before you finally speak again. "If you ever screw up, I promise you that you'll face much worse that a headshot."

He smiles, practically aglow as he leans in, nose brushing yours. "Make that a promise, sweetheart."

"And we're going to have a proper talk when you're all patched up, got it?"

He nods diligently, and your heart delights at the sight of him so obedient. "Anything you want." He drawls.

You see his eyes flicker to your lips, but he's holding back. Waiting for you.

"Are you going to kiss me?"

Your teasing words barely leave your mouth before he kisses you. It feels just like the first time, sweet and desperate, and you swear you can feel his promise sealed upon your lips. That this time, he won't let go.

[fawnindawn]

What if you did find Jason at arkam asylum? What if you tried to save him and succeeded? How would that alter his AK mindset?

What I'm really curious about is if you got caught. Joker would obviously use you to his advantage. Poor Jason would be devastated. (Once he's lucid enough, which the Joker would probably make happen.) But! As AK isn't that what he wanted? For you so find him? Did he really expect little old you to pull it off?

I only see you as stumbling upon Jason in an emotional search. Still relatively thought out, but nothing like... Batman approved. You know? You probably had a fight or are avoiding Bruce altogether because you know he would tell you no/stop you.

Gosh, the drama! I have a cold and it is way past my bedtime. You have entered orangutan's sleep deprived angsty mind...

-🦧

Been thinking about this one so hard!!

Overall, I don't think you finding and saving him changes AK's mindset that much. You found him, yes, you did what no one else could. But every one else? They failed. Batman, the one who he swore would come save him, still never showed up. So do his plans change? No, he still wants to make Bruce pay, still wants Gotham under his heel to show that he can win. The Arkham Knight still wants his revenge.

I think, once he's free from the Asylum, he's probably softer to you when you're alone. He's more loyal (in a sense) and trusts you to come and go as you please. You've proven yourself to him, after all. He'd give you roles and responsibilities in the militia too, if you'd like.

But if you get captured along side him? Once he realizes you're not a hallucination? Every thing gets so much worse. He's harder and easier all at once to break with you there. He gives into everything quicker to try and spare you any pain, but that spark in his eyes? It lingers far longer than it should– than it would– if you weren't there.

You definitely didn't have a plan when you went to look for him, no back-ups or failsafes, you were just desperate. So, there's no one coming for you– either of you.

But you did find him, even if you didn't save him. And while this doesn't change anything, he won't forget it. He won't forget that you found him, and in doing so got yourself hurt right along side him. It breaks something in him, I think. It makes him heavy with more guilt, more anger, more violence.

None of this fixes anything, but I think it makes him weak to you– weaker than he already was. That guilt, that bond you have now (because no one else knows what you two went through) means he listens to you. No matter what you say, what you ask for, whether he agrees or not, he listens to what you say. (and if you say to burn Arkham, to burn Gotham and all her rot to the ground, he will)

[fawnindawn]

flirt!reader who has somewhat of a reputation in gotham—constantly in relationships—a chronic coquet. you’re fun, you’re interesting, and above all, you’re a lover. you’re just a romantic misunderstood by the press and general public…

…until you meet DICK GRAYSON. similarly monikered—a playboy, of the billionaire variety—he’s the first person in all of gotham to understand you. to pass zero judgement upon meeting your fourth date that month, to giggle with you as lead conversation at parties, and to match your frequent headlining romantic blunders.

though, that’s not what dick and you would call them. necessary evils, maybe, blunders—never. instead, the pair of you referred to all failed relationships as stepping stones. you learn from person to person, “gathering intel.” grayson will smile.

but sometimes—when gotham social events grow too taxing, bleary, or greedy—you’ve found yourselves pulling away from the crowds, your dates, security, drivers, and media. sometimes it’s a few drinks on a rooftop, other times it’s processed food and wine coolers at his place. it’s…sweet. in a way you’ve never tasted before, you almost crave it when he’s gone.

towing the line between reassurance and utter devotion to eachother is frequent within your friendship. you’re two reflecting pools of unprecedented levels of love, both searching relentlessly for the one. that one romance that’s gonna stick—it’s a strange religion to be subscribed to, but both of you are.

and that’s the pleasant part about it, that you’re not alone. that someone else in the world, in gotham, has the capacity to hunger for it the way you do.

but that’s also the most dangerous part. because the longer you orbit each other, the harder it becomes to ignore the way your worlds have begun to collide. the way your stepping stones are less about ‘gathering intel’ these days and more about passing time.

sometimes, you’ll be at a gala or a dimly lit lounge—seated beside your latest conquest—but you’ll catch dick’s eye from across the room. leaning into his date, flashing a signature grin, but his gaze flickers—just for a moment—to you. and in that split second, it’s like the whole room vanishes. like the two of you are the only ones who truly understand the strange script you’re acting out.

it’s intoxicating, this unspoken thing. this quiet knowledge that neither of you have voiced, because why would you? what you have is easy, comfortable. there’s no need to risk it for something it isn’t, something uncertain.

but then, in the quieter moments—when you’re sitting on his couch, legs tucked beneath you, half a wine cooler forgotten in your hand—he’ll say something that just about makes your breath catch. something about how maybe love is about timing, about knowing when to stop looking. and you’ll hum in agreement, staring at the way the light catches in his eyes, playing it off as expert listening.

because if you say it—if either of you acknowledges the real reason you keep coming back to eachother—then everything changes. and neither of you are quite ready for that. not yet.

writer’s note .☘︎ ݁˖ this idea has been plaguing my mind for weeks so i had to write a drabble. sue me. this dynamic is sweetly toxic and i love it and i love when dick grayson meets his match (it’s always yummy, we love two lovers being freaks about it) askbox open for more of this or any other thoughts! moodboard for this drabble here 🫂 !!!

🖇️ masterlist | askbox | recent works

[fawnindawn]

hey, heyyyy, just so you know, Dick will never give up on Bruce because for those first several years it was Bruce who kept a torch of hope lit for the both of them until Dick could carry one of his own and now, years later, Dick will keep his own lit when Bruce can't, will use his to light Bruce's not matter how many times Bruce's torch is snuffed out, because it's only right, because it's only fair, because he remembers how the light used to shine off of Batman when he was little, how it would take up the whole sky, how it would warm the city down to it's bones, and Dick has never stopped chasing that moment

[fawnindawn]

Jason Todd doesn't know how to love softly. He can't. It's just not in his nature. He died trying to save his mom, despite the fact that she gave him up. That's not a quiet act of love. That’s akin to screaming it.

I love you! I love you! I love you! I will die because of it!

And even when he comes back, he still loves loudly. It's just that love and hate are intertwined. He loves so much that it hurts, and he can't stand it. He loves Bruce and the life he had for such little time, that it hurts and he hates it. He loathes it because he shouldn't care, and yet he does. After everything that's happened, he hasn't forgotten it all.

And then there's you, and he doesn't know what to do. He loves you in a way that hurts, but it feels right.

You feel right.

So it all falls naturally into place. He loves you so much that his body is stumbling to keep up with his heart. You look his way, and you send his thoughts running a mile a minute.

He's not screaming, 'I love you!' over rooftops, but he might as well. He opens doors for you and stands on the right side of the road. He fixes that strange whine in your car and stays up all night with you when you have to study. When you come home after a night out, he's holding your hair back while you're bent over the toilet—not saying anything, but he's there, grounding you. When you kiss him, he grapples you closer to him like you might simply vanish. His eyes crease around the corners when he sees you in the kitchen, humming to yourself. He throws his head back with booming laughter because you bring it out of him.

And when he's out for patrol, he's thinking of you, and it's cost him a few times. He glances down at his watch, and he knows exactly what you're doing at 10 PM. He knows your routine just as intimately as the touch of your fingertips against his skin.

He doesn't buy you flowers, because those die, and chocolates are gone within a week. Maybe less.

So, Jason Todd loves loudly in that private sort of way where only you feel it in all of its intensity. But he loves so loudly that it echoes, and those who know him can see it.

Jason Todd loves loudly because it lasts, and it's heard.

You hear it.

[fawnindawn]

Keep driving, darling

(Yes, I redesigned him)

[fawnindawn]

bitches will hear a song and be like 'this makes me feel like i have a gaping hole in my chest' and then they put it on repeat. its me im bitches

[fawnindawn]

aw my god tq for the love ��💗💗💗 love YOU! 💋

A Way With Words (dick grayson x reader)

Summary: Dick Grayson has an internal breakdown and he finds himself at your window. (what are the chances that in his worst moments, he always thinks to find you first?)

"Dick?"

Dick Grayson is the closest equivalent to daylight befalling a ruined city, a ray of light that gives warmth to those in the shadows. He's a symbol as much as the Bat, if not more. Maybe that's why you're not surprised to find him outside your windowsill, resting on the brick wall on the outside of your apartment.

His head shuffles to meet your gaze, and you meet blue instead of a domino mask. So he's not here for work.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-" He brings his hands up to gesture but his expression grows frustrated. That's a rare thing, for him to fall short on words. "I just needed to clear my head and I ended up here."

You don't comment on why his first destination was your apartment windowsill, only stepping out into the freezing cold, wrapping your sweater tighter around yourself as you sit beside him. Now that you're closer, you see tear streaks dried on his cheek.

“Guess you can see how much of a mess I am right now.” He laughs humourlessly, in such a self-depreciating tone that you’ve never once heard from him.

You're silent, unsure of this new territory you've stepped into. You're not surprised, to see someone that always shines so bright grow tired, but you've never thought he'd come to you. “No. I can see you’re human like the rest of us.”

He goes silent, but you know you’ve got his attention.

“I’m not blind to the pressure you take on, and how you keep pushing on without so much as a break. You act as a pillar to everyone, but I hope you know pillars have supports too. Don’t carry this all alone.” You tentatively place your hand on his shoulder, unused to comforting others, especially him, but you’re willing to try because- Even on the days he doesn't believe in himself, you still do. “Sometimes you’ve got me fooled with your charming smile, I forget to ask if you need someone to share your burdens.”

“You think my smile’s charming?” He says with a slight quip up his lips.

“Oh, don’t start.” You roll your eyes, knowing of course he’d focus on that of all things.

He looks at you, and his stare is a considering one. For what, you don’t know. Whether to let you in, or keep you out, maybe?

“What?” You whisper.

“Just wondering if you find me less charming right now.”

You blink in surprise and laugh, because that is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard. “The sun will cease to exist before anyone finds you less charming.”

“I’m not asking just anyone.” He murmurs.

You pause, feeling something change in the air with his awaiting gaze. You clear your throat, taking him in, this rare view of a human Dick Grayson with tousled hair, wearing a slept-in shirt and loose sweatpants. Your heart beats faster at the sight and you look away.

"I think it's nice to see you when you're human." You answer eventually. He seems less unreachable and more tangible here on your fire escape, as the two of you slowly huddle closer for warmth.

"I think you might be the only few." He whispers back, leaning so close you can feel his hair tickle at your cheek. He slumps his head into the crook of your shoulder, letting out a sigh. "I don't think I know what I'm doing some days. And why people listen to me when they shouldn't."

You hum, knowing that feeling of self-doubt. "I think it's unfair to expect yourself to know everything. And I happen to know why people listen to you."

"Why's that?" He turns briefly, eyes meeting yours. At this distance, your noses nearly touch.

"Because you word everything with such sincerity, it's impossible not to remember what you say. You speak with your heart in your mouth, and when you constantly show others the faith you have in them unconditionally, it's only natural for the favour to be returned."

You don't notice his look of wonder at your words, at how he wonders if you know that the way you speak of him is how he views you. Maybe he was the pillar to others, but he's always thought of you as his.

"I never thought of it that way." He admits.

"Maybe you're too busy shining your light on others that you forget to see yourself." You take his hand, noticing the nail marks resulting from a clenched fist, and hold it tight. "You've got me, Gray, if you ever feel yourself falling."

He grips your hand back, lacing your fingers together. He uses his other hand to trace your interlocked fingers, eventually resting on your pulse. Focusing on the beat after the detonation of your words that set his heart on fire, he finds it hard to respond with words that could measure up to his gratitude.

You always seem to have that effect on him, rendering him speechless to your integrity. Maybe that's why his heart always knew to come to you.

"You've got a way with words, bird."

You smile then, and his mind goes blank at the sight. "I learnt from the best."

Oh, he might just kiss you tonight.

[fawnindawn]

EEEEEEEEEKK. i miss this man so much, anthony lockwood, come home the kids miss you.

“It wouldn’t look good for the agency if my employees started dying. I don’t have very many to lose.” 

I don't know why but this line had me cackling. Not the only amazing lines in this fic, this fic is actual perfection, it really does scream him and i think reader was an absolute perfect match for him too (by being absolutely stubborn and reckless 💗)

you’re beautiful — anthony lockwood

summary: a meeting goes wrong, feelings come out. you’d like to be sedated again, please.

a/n: so this started as part of “leave the door open” but then i decided i wanted something different (hence the wound dressing scene) but i really liked what i wrote there so here’s an entirely different fic! wow enjoy

wc: 2.5k

warning(s): reader gets stabbed, quite a bit of blood, couple death jokes, mention of not eating, hurt/comfort, fluffy ending tho

There was a saying in Lockwood & Company, courtesy of its namesake, that, if you had enough confidence, you could dazzle any ghost into submission. 

Nothing but facetiousness of course, but it was true in a symbolic sort of way. If you didn’t believe in yourself, in every slash of your rapier and every circle of filings and every salt bomb measured to perfection, then there was no use showing up at all. You might as well sit down and wait for the ghost-lock to set in. 

Lockwood’s words kept coming back to you every time you doubted yourself, his charming smile and eyes popping up in your mind, twinkling as he made you laugh. 

And those words were certainly echoing through your ears as you stumbled through Portland Row’s door, a hand still pressed to your abdomen when you collapsed. Your rapier, still holstered, clattered against the floor.  

George called your name from the kitchen, cheerfully oblivious to your joy. “You’re finally back! How did the meeting go?” 

When you could only groan in response, he emerged into the hallway and his eyes instantly widened. “Oh my god— Lockwood!” 

He rushed over and helped you up, propping you against the wall as his eyes darted all over. He took one hand away to push up his glasses, and you noticed he already had some blood on your fingers. “What in the world happened?” 

“The meeting didn’t go well,” you grit out, sucking in a breath as a sharp column of pain shot through you. 

“I could gather that,” George said wryly, and when you heard footsteps, you both looked up to see Lockwood taking the steps three at a time. 

“What in the world happened?” he asked brazenly, a wild look in his eyes. 

“That’s what I asked—” George said, and your breathy laugh was interrupted by a grimace. 

“The meeting didn’t go well,” you repeated. 

“I need actual details,” Lockwood called as he went off in search of the medical kit. 

“Everything was fine,” you grumbled. “But as it turns out, our lovely source Mr. Pallworth was more skilled in getting into trouble than actually being an informant. He was in debt to some even lovelier relic men.” 

“Oh, god,” George muttered. You winced as he put more pressure on your wound, having taken over for you. “I’m sorry, but this is so you don’t bleed out.” 

“Did you get into a fight or something?” Lockwood marveled, bounding back over with a white box in his hands. “Because it looks like you were stabbed.” 

“One point for Anthony,” you said groggily. “Mr. Pallworth ran off the moment he could, leaving me to deal with his mess. I was indeed stabbed. Only once, somehow. The relic men deserted when the police showed up, and I wasn’t far behind.”

Lockwood knelt down next to you, and he looked at you for permission. You nodded, and he pulled your shirt up to expose your wound. He did a good job hiding his grimace as he began to gently wipe away the blood, but it was still there. “Why did you come here and not immediately to the hospital?” 

“I don’t know if you remember, Lockwood,” you breathed, “but this job that we’re doing is not exactly legal.” 

“I don’t care,” he enunciated. “This is above our paygrade, and your life will not be on the line because of our lack of medical knowledge.” 

“We either have to help her here or get her to a hospital,” George said, “because if we sit here bickering, she’ll bleed out before we make a decision.” 

“I’d rather die here than a hospital,” you said.

“You’re not going to die here,” Lockwood said harshly, and his hands opened and closed into fists. You could almost see the gears turning in his head. He eventually let out an annoyed sigh and glanced at George. 

“Phone 999,” he said. “She’s not dying because of her stubbornness.”

George nodded, grimacing at the blood on his hands—your blood, you supposed, which made it worse—and he ran off. 

“I knew I shouldn’t have sent you there alone,” Lockwood grumbled as he started taking things out of the medical kit. 

“No, you didn’t,” you said. “We had no reason to believe anything like this would happen.”

“Well— I should have known!” Lockwood’s voice rose, and his jaw clenched as he got himself back under control. He continued to clean out your wound, and you could hear George rattling off information in the distance to the authorities. 

“You’re cute when you’re determined,” you said. 

“I am determined to not let you die in our foyer,” Lockwood said.

“The foyer.” You mimicked Lockwood’s voice. “So posh.”

“If she’s being this annoying, she can’t be doing too bad,” George said dryly. 

“Loopy from the blood loss,” you said offhandedly. You frowned as it sunk in. “Maybe I should go to a hospital.”

Lockwood heaved a very dramatic sigh as he continued to keep pressure on your wound. “At least you’re coming to your senses now,” he said dryly. He was still kneeling next to you, his hands covered in your blood, that wild look in his eye. “What the hell took so long?”

“I’m not…” you blinked the black spots out of your vision, “good with hospitals.”

“Well, I’m not good with you dying,” Lockwood said.

George came back over. “I’ve called the police—an ambulance is on the way.”

You groaned, half from the pain and half from the thought of the police. “We’re going to have so much explaining to do.”

“Leave that to us,” Lockwood said. For some reason, you found yourself grabbing his hand. He didn’t hesitate, his throat bobbing as he laced your fingers together. “Just hold on for a bit longer.”

You nodded, your mouth going dry for a moment when you looked at him— really looked at him. 

There was unbridled fear in Lockwood’s eyes, the slightest glimmer of tears. If you weren’t slowly bleeding out, if the black spots weren’t taking over your vision, if your grip on his hand wasn’t loosening, you might have been embarrassed at his closeness, at his doting.  

But apparently, you weren’t. 

“You’re beautiful,” you murmured. 

And then everything went dark.

-

You were assaulted by a barrage of lights and beeping, too-bright fluorescents and the sterile scent of disinfectant alerting even your still groggy mind that you were in a hospital.

There was something in your arm—multiple somethings, actually. A tube with a lot of red in one arm, and another with clear liquid in your other arm. Blood and an IV, you guessed. 

Right. You were stabbed, and one does not just walk away from a stab wound without a few problems. 

You weren’t dead, though, and that surely counted for something. You would have to thank Lockwood later, for his stubbornness beating out your own. 

“You’re awake,” a voice breathed, and you realized it was just the boy you were thinking about. 

Lockwood sat next to you in a chair pulled up at your bedside. His tie was undone, hanging around his neck, and he’d draped his jacket on the back of the chair. His eyes were slightly red, but there was undeniable relief sketched into his face. 

“I am.” Your voice was raspy from disuse, and you grimaced at the soreness in your lower chest. “How long has it been?” 

“A few hours,” he answered. He cleared his throat and moved to the edge of his chair, and your eyes followed the movement. He was holding your hand— he’d been holding your hand. “You— um, you had surgery. A small one, it didn’t take too long, but—” Lockwood’s voice broke, and he laughed mirthlessly as he shook his head. “It was scary. Terrifying, actually, but…” he managed a smile. “You came out the other side. You always do.” 

Your breath caught for a moment, and your grip on his hand tightened subconsciously. “I’m so sorry.” 

“What are you sorry for?” Lockwood asked wryly. “It’s not your fault you were stabbed. You did a rather excellent job fighting them off, actually. It could’ve been much worse.” 

“I’m sorry for putting you and George through this,” you murmured. “I worry about the two of you every second of every day, and most of the time it doesn’t come to fruition. This—” you laughed, which immediately turned into a wince— “I’d say this is fruition.” 

“I’m just glad we got you here in time,” Lockwood muttered. He looked at you, his eyes boring into you with equal parts concern and desperation. You used to hate that about him, especially when you joined, how it always felt like he could look at you and know every single thing. “You said the police showed up in the fight. You were obviously injured— why didn’t you get them to call an ambulance? Why did you risk it all to come back to Portland Row?” 

“I told you. The job we took on was illegal, and I felt it was going to be a much bigger mess than we needed to deal with.” 

“I don’t care how illegal it was,” Lockwood said stiffly. “You were hurt— you were in danger. That comes before anything else, alright? You come before anything else.” 

The intensity of his voice made you pause, unable to do anything but… look at him. His hair was tousled, no doubt from running his hand through it endlessly as he was wont to do whenever he was stressed. His undone tie and discarded jacket, his eyes, red from… from crying, most likely. He cried over you. 

When your hand tightened around his this time, you did it on purpose. 

“Thank you,” you murmured. “You’re probably the reason I’m alive.” 

Lockwood managed to crack a smile. “It wouldn’t look good for the agency if my employees started dying. I don’t have very many to lose.” 

That got a genuine laugh out of you, and you tried your best to ignore the subsequent wince. “Of course. That’s why I pulled through, to make us look better.” 

“Your efforts are much appreciated,” he said, that small smile still on his lips as he rubbed mindless circles on your hand with his thumb. 

The door creaked slightly as someone pushed it open, and a smile broke out on your face when you saw it was George. 

“I was wondering where you were,” you said. 

“Tea,” he said, lifting the drink holder with one hand and a box with his other, “and donuts.” He looked at Lockwood pointedly. “You’ve got to get something in you. It’s not exactly healthy, but the sugar will help.” 

You looked at Lockwood. “You haven’t eaten?” 

“I was preoccupied,” he said dryly. 

“That’s no excuse,” you said. “Eat your donuts, and as soon as we get home, George is cooking you something.” You looked up at him. “Right?” 

“Right,” George agreed. He handed Lockwood one of the cups and set the box on the table, and he smiled as he took a seat across from you. “You look much better. You’re bossing everyone around again—I take it you’re doing better too?” 

“Much,” you nodded. “Thanks for getting me here, by the way. I’d probably have bled out if it weren’t for you.” 

“Of course.” George took a donut from the box. “I can’t let you leave me alone with him.” 

“Oh, I would never,” you said wryly. 

“I’m surprised you’re willing to be alone with him after what you said,” George said offhandedly, and both you and Lockwood stared at him. 

“George—” he started. 

“What do you mean?” you interrupted. 

He made that funny little expression where he knew he said something he probably shouldn’t have, and he busied himself with his donut. “Nothing.” 

“George,” you deadpanned, “I’m the one in the hospital bed. I have pity points. Tell me.” 

Lockwood sighed and leaned back in his chair, though you noticed he still didn’t let go of your hand. 

“I’m guessing you don’t remember what you said,” George said slowly. “Before you blacked out, I mean.” 

“No.” Your eyes darted between the two of them. “Why? Did I say something awful?” 

“Not awful,” Lockwood said, still looking away. “Pretty far from it, I’d say.” 

“Why are you two acting so weird?” you asked. “Spit it out!” 

“You called Lockwood beautiful,” George finally said, and you just about died right there. “Right before you went out, you said he was beautiful.” 

You blinked. Looked at Lockwood, who didn’t seem to be the slightest bit embarrassed—god, was he smiling?—looked at George, who was this time busying himself with his tea. 

“You’re kidding,” you said. 

“...He’s not,” Lockwood said, tilting his head to the side. “You did do that.” 

“Looked up at him, said ‘you’re beautiful’, passed out.” George shrugged as he took another sip of his tea. “Quite dramatic, I’ll give you that. It drove Lockwood absolutely insane, too.” 

“George,” Lockwood said sharply, “don’t you have a phone call to make?” 

He chuckled. “Yeah. How could I forget?”

You weren’t even able to watch him as he walked out of the room, leaving you alone with Lockwood. You wanted to melt into the bed. This was the absolute worst way for your feelings to come out, feelings that you were content to let sit forever and never really reveal. Apparently, you couldn’t even almost die with dignity. 

“It’s alright,” Lockwood said. “You don’t have to be embarrassed.” 

“No, I do have to be embarrassed.” You stared up at the ceiling. “I do have to be embarrassed, because my last words could have been ‘you’re beautiful’.”

“Why?” he asked. “Do you not think I’m beautiful?” 

You groaned, and if you hadn’t been practically immobile, you would have buried your face in the pillows. “Get a nurse to sedate me again, please.” 

Lockwood flashed that irritatingly pretty grin as he took your hand again. You hadn’t even realized he’d let go. “Relax. I think you’re beautiful too.” 

You raised your eyebrows. “Even now?”

“Even now,” Lockwood said. “Always.”

“At least you’re not saying it half-conscious and dying,” you mumbled. 

“I think it’s better I’m saying it now,” he said. “You know I mean it.” 

You looked him in the eye. “You really do?” 

“What did I just say?” Lockwood chuckled. “Always. Forever.” 

You felt the heat creep to your cheeks. “I can’t believe this is what it took to get you to admit your feelings.” 

“It took this for you to admit your feelings,” he countered. “It took you admitting them for me to admit them. I never really knew you felt the same way.” 

“I guess I have a flair for dramatics,” you said wryly. 

“It seems so,” Lockwood said. “How about after all this is done, when you’re good and cleared by the doctor, I’ll take you out for tea. My treat.”  

“You pay my salary,” you said. “Everything is practically your treat.” 

Lockwood grinned. “Do you want to go on a date with me or not?” 

You smiled, and you pulled your joined hands closer. You pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “I’d like that a lot.” 

“Excellent.” He smiled as well, a breath of relief coming out of him, and he leaned closer. “Just remember that you don’t have to get stabbed to get me to ask you out on a second date.”  

[fawnindawn]

me when writing

[fawnindawn]

dc comics masterlist

jason todd

Fics: Here We Go Again (Voices In His Head) (mistakes were made, but he’s getting you back) Death Has No Right To You (ak!jason x injured!reader/he’s not letting you go, even if you’re not his to lose anymore) Blurbs: Crawling Back To You (how devoted would he be to you? here's the answer.) Headcannons of Jason (my cocky unhinged jane austen lover)

dick grayson

Fics: A Way With Words (in his worst moments, he always thinks to find you first)

damian wayne (to be continued)

tim drake (to be continued)

bruce wayne (to be continued)

header art credits: 02png twt

[fawnindawn]

OMG I am so honoured thank you. I love your work 💕. Your words are so what I was thinking while writing this, like yes jason todd is a ghost haunting everyone's memory and even he only has fragments over who he was and who he should be.

Summary: You're severely injured, but he's not letting you go. Even if you're not his to lose anymore. (arkham knight!jason todd x reader)

(a/n: angstcomfort? not even death can try to drag you away from him. tw: mentions of blood/near death)

Jason has not felt such fear since his time in the warehouse, where the very thought of metal scraping concrete conjures phantom stings in his scars, and a gutting-drop in his heart. After him- after everything he's been through, he was close to believing nothing could ever be worse than the past he buried deep down, which he stifled with hatred-filled revenge.

Shaking fingers cradling your limp head, he can't believe he was ever foolish enough to think life had enough of him to let its dreaded claws loose. He had thought he was done with attachment to his past, to his mantle, to Bruce, to you.

"Please, don't take her away from me." He pleads to no one, because no one ever listens to him when he begs. Not when he was caged in that warehouse, not when he pleaded to be found, not when he pleaded to die.

He knows the scent of death like the back of his hand, coated on his hands when he kills, coated in the haunted look that stares back at him in the mirror. You- you're covered in the scent of it.

You're barely holding on, your grip on his neck falling looser only for him to snap at you to wake up whenever your eyelids shut, forcing you out of your stupor. Stay, stay, stay- his voice commands you.

When he reaches the base, he's barking orders and there's a flurry of movement as his militia move aside for him, all eyes on the limp body in his arms. "Get a fucking doctor- or I will make sure everyone in this room pays." His modulator renders his tone cold, but he can hear his desperation echoed back to him. Thankfully, no one notices and someone finally listens and makes a move.

He places you down on a flat surface, heart dropping when he can finally see how much blood you've lost under the fluorescent light. He grips your hand that reaches out for comfort. "You're going to make it." He mutters to himself, because he simply refuses anything other than your survival. "Because you're not someone who gives up. You're a fighter, you can fight this. I won't let you go under, you understand?"

You wince and heave with every breath, but there's confusion etched into your expression when you listen to his words. You try to find familiarity through his altered voice, something of memory to his armour, but you find none.

"Was I someone- were you someone to me?" You finally dared to ask.

There is no sound from his modulator, no flicker in those illuminating eyes, but somehow, you can sense the tension in his shoulders, the way his breath stops at your question.

"No." He answers. Not anymore.

The silence stretches, and footsteps are nearing.

"Then." You struggle through your next words, vision blurred till he leans in. "If I don't make it," You notice his fingers tighten around yours. "Will you bury me near Jason Todd's grave?"

The Arkham Knight is a powerful figure, with connections and a motive no one understands. Yet, if he was willing to put all this effort to save you, maybe he would listen to your final request.

"I promised him." Tears filled your eyes. "I'd always be by his side. I failed to before- Promise me, that you'll let me."

Jason stares at you, and he fights back the urge to scream. Don't you know, that by finding your Jason, you'll be leaving him? He had thought that whoever he became the day he escaped Joker's grasp couldn't possibly be something you could love, so he had left you alone. Or at least, he had convinced himself that it was the right decision. Now, even on your deathbed, your last words are of him, for him. Wrongs after wrongs after wrongs, it seems to be all he's capable of. But not this time.

He's not letting you go.

"I promise."

When you wake, you feel a strong hand covering yours. Your head pounds, and you try to recall what happened. A gunfight, a crossfire, a stranger, a promise-

The Arkham Knight. He saved you, didn't he?

You turn your head to see who was sitting beside the bed, expecting a robotic suit and glowing eyes, only to meet pale blue. Your heart recognises the colour before your mind does, seizing uncontrollably as if possessed.

"Am I dead?" You ask, laughing humourlessly. "Is that why you're here, Jay?"

He gives you a sad smile. Your Jason smiles at you. It's solemn and heartbreakingly haunting, unlike anything you've dreamt of since his death.

His hand moves to rest over your pulse, which beats over his calloused thumb. Life. Then, you're.. alive? You notice then, how he's not really the Jason you remember. There's a deep scar engraved into the skin tissue of his cheek, a crookedness to his nose from a punch gone wrong, and how his eyes hold secrets you can't uncover.

He's not your Jason, but he still looks at you the same way.

"I told you I'd keep my promise." He finally answers. "And now it's your turn to keep yours."

[fawnindawn]

yes mom my comfort character is a traumatized man