#Bruce Wayne is a lightweight

[arkangelo-7]

Okay, but, realistically speaking, Bruce Wayne has got to have a low alcohol tolerance. He’s a lightweight.

Like, think about it—this man rarely drinks. Most of his “drunken” shenanigans are done stone cold sober on account of the Mission, and all. If you get more than two glasses of wine in him he is fucking gone.

Which is part of what makes family dinners at the Manor so entertaining. Assuming that such events are one of the rare times Bruce truly relaxes, it’s not a stretch to think he might indulge in a glass of wine or a bourbon; and this is fine and all… until the Batkids persuade him to have another round with them or, God forbid, do a celebratory shot.

After that? Bruce is wiped.

His kids think it’s hilarious. Drunk Bruce is a trip. He’ll drop insane Dad Lore about his time in the League or a wild JL space mission or something, but then proceed to list in meticulous, clinical detail all the things that annoy him about Hal Jordan, and then all the sudden get super excited and start detailing his latest Superman Contingency Plan using the salt shakers in the dining room table. He switches moods and topics so quickly that his kids would get whiplash if they weren’t laughing their asses off.

And you know the +1, singular, solitary, time that Bruce got drunk in front of Clark will go down in history as the best day of Clark’s life. Bruce spent the entire time baring his soul, praising his children, and describing his world travels… but he also kept getting distracted by Clark’s abs and called him “sexy” no less then fourteen times. (Clark left that bar wheezing with laughter and had to disentangle himself from Bruce and force him into a taxi because Bruce kept trying to make out with him. It was fantastic.)

[rocker-socks]

nothing is funnier to me than people who knew Bruce when he was young seeing his 'Brucie' persona and going what the fuck. Harvey Dent breaks down the manors doors convinced Bruce has a tumor and leaves halfway still convinced to sue someone for medical malpractice anyways

[projectbatman193]

Been there.

[toast-on-dandelioms]

completely fine if you can’t do this but I’m curious if you could do something with platonic yan batfam finding out teen reader smokes. Not hard core drugs or anything, just cigarettes (still bad I know), and maybe even drinks alcohol.

in their own words it “makes it so they can stop thinking”

Again completely fine if you can’t!! Also love your work ♥️

The ask is based before the events of part 4

beta reader: @duck-you

WC: 4.4k

Dividers made by @saradika-graphics @cafekitsune

Age of reader: 16-17 (the age of reader in the main serie is your choice, I don't think I ever made the age clear but for this ask reader is almost 18)

Tw: mentions of alcohol and cigarettes, underage drinking and reckless behaviour from intoxication, Joker, fighting under the influence, wrongful imprisonment, Black Mask and his uglyness

You first started smoking when you were at the end of middle school and started high school, your friends kept pressuring you into it since all the cool kids were smoking and you didn't want to lose them.

You did stop a few times but they kept gas lighting you into starting smoking once again and after you started to roam Gotham as Spider it became an habit that helped you do something whenever the night was dead or you were just bored.

You also made sure to not smoke before going back to the Manor since you knew Alfred would know and you didn't want to let him know and disappoint the older man, seeing him as a father figure instead of Bruce since he was the one who actually took time out of his day to pay attention to you whenever you told him in advance.

The drinking didn't start until you turned 17 and your friends managed to drag you to a party after a lot of begging and accusing you of not caring about them.

You still remember the night where you got drunk for the first time, the beat of the music making you unable to talk to anyone without yelling and how everyone kept pushing drinks in your hand and cheer whenever you drank it all.

The taste of whatever drink you just drank always made you make a disgusted face before smiling happily as you started to relax and have fun with your friends, even singing karaoke after someone pushed a microphone in your hands and told you to follow the words that were being displayed on a TV.

Honestly that night was one of the best you ever had because you weren't Spider, you weren't the forgotten child of Bruce Wayne and you weren't the straight A's student that people looked down upon because of how silent and antisocial you were. You were [Y/N], the one who beat 5 guys at arm wrestling, the friend who was dancing like crazy and how you just lost your virginity (the alcohol one, not the actual virginity).

You didn't really enjoy drinking, especially whenever you drank too much after a party and ended up with the worst hangover ever thanks to your powers, but it was a nice thing to do to de-stress after a long night or to just become free for a night with your friends.

One night you were still on patrol but had a long night because you had to stop many gang fights and even got shot on the leg, which you bandaged up but it was hurting and annoying you so you ended up drinking the entire bottle of vodka you had in your schoolbag, where you forgot to take out the bottle a friend put inside after you told them that you never drank it since you never had the opportunity to do so.

And you were a bit of a lightweight since you didn't start for too long and somehow you found yourself wandering around Gotham, drunk out of your mind and unaware of your surroundings. Yes people were taking videos of a drunk vigilante walking on the walls and street but didn't do much, especially when they saw a familiar clown approaching.

When Joker finally walked up to you with his usual smile, happy that he saw you since he could just use you after he noticed how Batman was attached to you, plus you looked incredibly drunk and you were stumbling around the empty street, still wearing your mask that was just rolled up enough that he could see your mouth, slightly open so he thought it would be easy to kidnap you by just using a crowbar.

Immediately, when you felt his hand touch your shoulder and his annoying laugh, you grabbed his hand and just slammed him into the ground with a judo flip, that you saw Damian do when you were watching him train alongside the others.

Your drunken mind didn't clock in that the person who touched you was the feared clown of Gotham, you just kept hitting his body with the crowbar that he had in hand after you took it off his hands after he tried to hit you with it when he had the chance to attack.

But you didn't let him, somehow your mind and body when under the influence were a better fighter than you actually thought, you weren't using your superstrenght most of the time and only if he actually posed as a threat when he tried to attack you once again.

During the fight your mask was taken by that clown, who probably got even angrier when he saw that you were just a kid and that looked like you were gonna fall asleep in any moment, which was why he even managed to hit you on the face. Unfortunately for him, his hit made you remember when Jason hit you and somehow awakened an anger and you just started to hit that man like there was no tomorrow.

Somehow, during the drunken fight between you and Joker that people were recording, you didn't notice three masked figures on a rooftop who were watching you fight that clown and were discussing when to butt in.

Dick was watching with glee as you hit the clown while also waiting for Oracle to tell him who Spider was once Joker took off your mask, amazed as he watched your fight.

He did feel anger whenever Joker managed to get a hit on you with his fists and had to be held back by Jason and Damian, since they both wanted to see you win and see you fight in real life instead of watching from the cameras, which didn't show all of the fights most of the time.

As he watched he did that you moved a bit weird, like you were under the influence and that made him panic because what if Joker actually tried to drug you? What if someone tried to kidnap you and he wasn't there to save you?!

Jason was also watching in glee when he saw you hit the Walmart clown with a crowbar, cheering whenever you hit him in the face with that crowbar. He would also yell out scores when you did that, not caring that people were filming him.

He did notice how sluggish you were when you moved and was also ready to jump down to help you, not wanting you to get badly hurt by that clown even though he knew that you could defend yourself.

Damian was watching and making small comments about your posture as you fought before noticing how many moves were incredibly similar to downright the same moves he did as he fought with random criminals, making his heart soar with respect and felt incredibly honoured that you were copying him. He knew that he was gonna show the footage to the others to show how much Spider was like him and how he's obviously the favourite since they're copying him.

He did found your face very familiar, like he met you once but he couldn't find any memory of you in his mind, making him frustrated and angry since he's supposed to be the heir of Wayne Enterprises, his memory shouldn't get worse so soon.

When you felt a hand on your shoulder and another grabbing the hand that was hitting the now dead Joker, you turned around and just kicked that person away with all your strength to a nearby dumpster and just prepared yourself for another fight.

You honestly couldn't really see who was close to you thanks to Joker punching you right in the face and making your eyesight a bit blurry that you honestly couldn't see who was approaching and just thought it was another guy or more trying to kidnap you, so you kept fighting by using your spider senses to find them.

It took Dick, a laughing Jason and an annoyed but amazed Damian to manage to stop you, leaving all of them with bruises and many injuries since you didn't hold your strength back. The indented dumpster after you kicked Damian when he tried to grab you and the hole in a wall after you missed punching Jason and got stuck in the wall was proof of it.

The last thing you remembered before falling asleep after getting a small injection in your neck was Jason's laugh even though he sounded like someone kicked him in the chest and Damian's exasperated voice as he talked with Dick and how they shouldn't let you near anything alcoholic anymore.

You woke up the next day in your room, the headache from the hangover making you groan in pain, especially after feeling how sore your body was even though you couldn't remember anything from last night, before managing to get up without feeling like puking or falling, cursing yourself and making a mental note to never drink during patrol.

You slowly walked to the door, cursing your hangover since it felt like your door was farther away from you since you though you were in your usual room and not in another that looked exactly the same but you didn't really pay much attention to it since your head was killing you as you tried to think of anything.

You finally reached the door and opened it, immediately facing a surprised Bruce, making you confused and annoyed since you already felt like shit and seeing your father that never stepped up as a father to you made your headache worse.

You and the man stared at each other for a few seconds that felt like hours before you pushed him away and walked to where you thought the bathroom was, knowing that you needed to have a shower and probably puke your mind out.

When you finally walked out of the bathroom with a less painful headache after drinking some water from the sink and while you were showering, knowing it was safe since the Manor filtered the water, but the short-time happiness from the long shower was immediately ruined by Dick's loud voice as he talked about something you weren't paying attention to and him dragging you to the dining room where everyone was waiting for you, your headache coming back strong to even making you try and get away from his arms.

You groaned when he basically dropped you on the carpeted floor of the dining room, to which everyone's eyes were on you as you slowly got up and made your way to a random chair far away from everyone else, a bit weirded out since you actually never sat on a chair on the actual table. Hell, you probably never even stepped foot in the room in all the years you lived there.

You mumbled a thanks to Alfred when he set a bowl of soup in front of you and a few pills on a tissue next to your glass of water, to which you assumed it was for your headache and hangover.

You started to eat the soup without saying anything to anyone else at the table before looking up when you heard Bruce's voice saying your nome, ignoring how hesitant his voice was when he actually said your name, like it was the first time he ever actually pronounced your name out loud.

You stared at the older man who was supposed to be your father, hissing a little when the lights from the chandelier hits your eyes, too used to your poorly lit room and of the gloomy weather of Gotham that never lets any sun in so bright lights hurt your eyes.

"[Y/N], hun, I know you drank last night. And I am sure you know that drinking is bad for you, especially when you are underage. You could've hurt yourself and the people around you, which you did last night!" he said, his voice raising at the end before pointing at Dick, Jason and Damian, who you just noticed all had some bruises and looked uncomfortable while sitting on the chair.

Honestly, you didn't even feel bad. The only thing you felt bad about was not being able to remember anything about it. You hoped that someone took a video of it, god you hoped so hard.

As you thought of finding that video you suddenly noticed that Bruce was still talking, probably going on about the dangers of alcohol and what it could do to someone's liver after prolonged drinking, making you annoyed since he cares now? After years of ignoring your existence?

So you did what he did once when you were little, you just got up and left without a word to your room, not caring about anything he was saying. You didn't even know where you were going in the Mansion,thanks to how big it is and how you stuck to your room instead of exploring and ended up inside a small bedroom that looked like no one entered it for years thanks to the all the dust inside of it.

You opened the windows to let some air inside and found a few diaries as you snooped around before finding the holy grail of things you could find in anyone's room: an unopened bottle of rum in a hidden drawer that you might have broken while trying to open it because you were curious.

You were now loving whoever lived here and put the rum away in a pocket before walking out the room by the window so you could reach a bag you left on the rooftop that held a copy of your costume. Why did you had a bag there on the first place?

That was simple. You once forgot it while you were drinking on the rooftop when you had a horrible day and just forgot it there when you stumbled in your room by walking on the walls. And yes, the conversation you had with Alfred to ask him about having some money to buy all the stuff you needed to re-make the suit and re-create the voice modulator was very uncomfortable, especially when you knew you couldn't afford all of the stuff you needed even though you had a job.

And yes, you didn't have an allowance because Bruce never thought of giving you money and you had to take a job to just survive and not always ask for Alfred for money when you needed something for school or for dance practice.

As you reached the bad tied to an unused chimney, a small frown formed on your face when you saw the old design of your vigilante suit but still changed before putting the web shooters on your wrists, your bag already on your shoulders and the rum safely stashed in it and wrapped around your clothes to make sure it won't accidentally break while you were swinging around Gotham.

Once you got on a random rooftop of an abandoned building, which you made sure wasn't a rogue or a gang hideout before settling on it so you could finally drink the bottle you stole. You were close to one of the mafia's territory in Crime Alley but you didn't care which one it was, you only wanted to drink.

As you finally started to drink, your tongue tasting a hint of nutmeg and weirdly cinnamon with each sip you took, you slowly started to relax as the alcohol did its job, each sip making your head feel less heavy, like it was getting pumped full of helium and slowly making your forget about the pain your body was in.

God, you never wanted to stop, just four sips in and you were already past the tipsy part and you felt so free that anything you saw in the starless, polluted night of Gotham made you laugh like crazy. You finally felt like you belonged when you drank and that all the hatred, anger and the deep resentment you felt towards the Bats was calm, like a warm heavy blanket was put on those emotions.

As the night progressed, the bottle now half empty and your mind completely fuzzy, you started to hear noises and grunts of pain from one of the alleys near your spot, making you curious to see who it was and especially what was happening that would ruin your drinking night.

You slowly got up, your limbs feeling like jelly as you moved to walk on the side of the building, slipping a little as you stumbled around. After a bit you finally managed to get to the right alley when you realised you were on the wrong side of the building, and as you walked over you luckily avoided a frantic Nightwing grappling to a building.

You watched in silence when you finally got to the right alley and saw Black Mask, one of the criminals you knew his own goons feared because he could kill them if they did anything wrong in his eyes. You couldn't count the times you saw bodies in alleys when you were patrolling, their bodies covered in bruises and most of the time they were beat up beyond recognition that always made you sick.

But, unfortunately for you, your drunken mind decided to say something since you found his mask boring and weird. Like, compared to Jason's mask, his just looked boring and not really original. And you knew he was dangerous but noo, let's anger the mafia boss who kills with no mercy.

"He-Hey! You look ri"- you took a few sips of the rum - "uhh, oh yea! Ridiculous! Why that? No red, thought of being compared to Red Skull?" you started before your drunken mind just decided to go on a whole rant about his choices of brand and what he does with his goons.

As you were ranting about his ugliness and name choice, your spider senses made you dodge an incoming bullet shot at you but unfortunately Black Mask managed to hit your sacred bottle that still had most of its contents in it and you just watched with tears in your eyes as the alcohol ran out of your bottle to the ground.

The anger that surged in you after your drunken mind realised that he wasted your precious rum made you so angry that you didn't care who Black Mask is and threw the broken glass bottle at him and used his small distraction to web his chest and launch yourself at him, using all your strenght to punch his ugly masked face.

Using the moment and how distracted the man was, thanks to your punch, you kept hitting the man with all your strenght. Sadly, this moment of you overpowering the insult for eyes as a man as the man manages to catch one of your punches that was aiming for his stomach and pulled you forward to knee you on the chest, making you gasp for air and cough and almost made you puke but you anaged to keep it down.

Sadly, the bastard with no imagination for names started to hit you on the back of the head, making your vision blurred for a few seconds before your vision went back to normal thanks to your fast healing. You managed to avoid another one of his hits and quickly jumped on the wall and webbed him on the chest, pulling him forward and jumping on him, kicking him on the jaw.

You stared at the sad excuse of a original rogue as it stayed on the ground and slowly raised your hands like you won before grabbing the broken bottle of rum and walked on a wall, waiting as you watched the thing who you refused to acknowledge as a man get up and wobble around while the two goons he was hitting before already ran away.

Once it got up, obviously confused when you watched him look around and you waited until he got closer and hit him on the head with the bottle as a revenge for the wasted precious alcohol and then you quickly kicked him on the back to keep him down since you knew he was good at hand and hand combat and you knew that you couldn't win if he was lucid so you were lucky that you gave him a concussion with a lucky move.

You kept hitting the man-thing with the bottle with no care in the world, the blood splattering on the walls and the dumpster near you two, your smile the only thing he could see as you just kept hitting him, the bottle getting thrown away when it was completely broken from hitting his mask so you went back to using your hands, smashing his mask onto his scarred face, the alcohol in your body making you ignore how the shards of the mask were also getting embedded in your hands as you kept punching his face.

You stopped when your spider senses alerted you of danger and got ready to fight whoever it was that before getting hit with something and falling asleep, the last thing you managed to say before falling asleep was "fuck yall".

You woke up once again with weird cuffs on your wrists, but fortunately you weren't chained to the bed. You slowly got up from the bed and noiced two things: your hands were bandaged, making you confused as to what happened last night after you drank and both windows in the room had bars on it.

You managed to get up from the bed and walked to the door, your vision being a bit blurred as you looked around the room. You first walked to the window to see the bars and noticed how the bars were so close together and had such a small space between that even your finger couldn't pass through.

You then walked to the door and went to grab the doorknob but almost fell to the ground as you noticed too late that the doorknob was missing from the door. You quickly recovered and looked angrily at the door, punching it with all your strenght before realising that the cuffs were blocking your super-strenght when you felt an immense pain in your hand after you punched it and the door didn't fall down like you planned to.

You slowly retracted your hand from the door and started to pound the door with the other hand, yelling for Bruce and whoever lived in the fucking Manor, too angry and scared to care about the pain as your hand kept touching the door.

As you pounded on the door, you hoped that Alfred would come to save you from this room and explain why the hell you were stuck in a room with no way out, feeling trapped as minutes went by and no one came to explain what was happening and why you were trapped in that room.

You let out a huge sigh of relief when you heard footsteps coming your way and finally stopped pounding on the door, only now noticing the prints of blood on the door from your hand that was now bleeding profusely, making you almost cry as even slightly moving a finger brought you immense pain.

You looked up when you heard the door open and stared at Bruce and Alfred, who was holding a first aid kit, and moved to the side to let them enter, not wanting to fight until you knew why you were here.

You sat on a chair, who you now noticed was plastic, and let Alfred change the bandages on your hands while you stared at Bruce, waiting for an explanation before getting frustrated when he didn't say anything and just stared at you.

"What happened to me? Why are my hands bandaged?" you asked, staring directly at Bruce to hear his explanation, not remembering anything after you drank.

The man who you were told to call father just stared at you with a grim expression on his face "two days ago, after you snuck ou-" to which you interrupted him "I didn't sneak out, using those words would mean that you cared that I actually lived here and what these last 17 years showed me was that you don't care. Don't act like you do now".

You watched as the man acted like it didn't affect him but you knew that it did. You knew Bruce Wayne and he loves kids, you saw how he acted with Damian when he got hurt during patrol and how Jason once came home bleeding. You saw the man who you thought was heartless and didn't care about anyone cradle Jason's body as he carried him to the batcave, his face showing so many emotions that you never saw before.

You stayed silent as you watched him, giving an ok to Alfred when he asked if the bandages were too tight, still waiting for him to explain before sighing loudly when he just stared back at you.

"I went out to drink so what? Did I fight a gang member and somehow got so hurt that my hands need help healing?" you joked, wiggling your fingers to show your bandaged hands like it was something to be proud of.

To which Bruce seemed to get extremely mad about it "no, you decided to fight Black Mask after insulting him and ended up killing him. Damian and Cass had to sedate you as they thought you were a danger to yourself and to the civilians.".

After that you just stared at him before looking down at your own hands and looked at your knuckles who were staining your bandages since they were still bleeding. "So what? I didn't hurt someone innocent so why am I in a room with bars and no way out?" you asked angrily, not caring that you killed someone since you never viewed Black Mask as a person after everything you've seen him and his men do.

The man stared back at you "and this is exactly why you won't be let out until I know that you aren't a danger to the public" he said coldly and walked out with Alfred while you just stood there in shock.

You quickly ran to the door and started banging on it "NO NO NO! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE! I AM AN ADULT! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME" you yelled as you banged to it, ignoring how their footsteps started to sound so far away while you cried and yelled in the room.

[wednesday-if-it-was-tuesday]

Batboy Headcanons :)

Jason Todd is a horrible driver because he never actually finished drivers ed (and it’s not like batman is teaching normal traffic laws like how to hand signal)

Tim read Magic Tree House RELIGIOUSLY as a kid

Alfred has to aggressively hide Damian’s old LoA cloaks/tunics because he’ll try and wear them out when it’s cold (in his defense they were made for Tibetan winters and are v cozy)

Grayson’s real reason for becoming a cop was because his favorite color is blue and it really brings out his eyes

Dami thinks Tim uses a bo staff because he isn’t a high enough belt to use a sword

Duke teaches women’s self defense classes at Gotham Community College at night because he cannot keep running around the city to handle purse-snatchings

Tim read the instruction manuals to the Wayne manor household appliances because he watched how Bruce got torn to shreds for being a rich kid with no clue how to do chores

Bruce isn’t a lightweight, but he’ll get psychosomatically drunk super fast because he’s desperate to be in a state where he can provide an escape from his usual crippling self-accountability

[martyrbat]

batman secret files and origins (1997)

[ID: the first panel is an article titled, “Who is Bruce Wayne?” by Lola Charles. Above the headline is a photo of Bruce from the shoulders up as he's in a suit. The rest of the photos is cropped sections from the column. In order they read:

“It's definitely a case of passion exceeding skill,” confides neighbor J. Devlin Davenport. “Bruce is hopeless in the long game.” Wayne takes all of the ribbing he receives gracefully. There doesn't seem to be a touch of anger in the guy.

To say that his personality is plastic is to insult the synthetics industry. His reclusive behavior and avoidance of any media coverage is because the man has all the charm of a paper clip.

The most interesting moment in the entire meeting came when he accidentally spilled the Dijon sauce on himself (managing, in the process, to spatter the blouse I had bought specifically for the occasion).

I candidly admit that he is excruciatingly handsome and that, upon first meeting him, I blushed like a schoolgirl. But beneath those drop-dead looks beats the heart of a chartered accountant. The women who fawn over him after fifteen minutes in his company can only be thinking of his bank accounts, not his romantic attractions. Only someone as shallow as himself could find him alluring.

Bruce Wayne is styling his way through life.

Well, there's the mystery of Bruce Wayne. And the solution is that there is no mystery. The guy is a sofa painting, a creampuff, a lightweight, the male equivalent of a bimbo. Sorry, girls. END ID]

[sunny-mercya]

Memento Mori

Clark Kent x Male Reader | Hinted former Ex!Husband!Bruce Wayne x Male Reader

Masterlist

Long afloat on the shipless oceans

I did all my best to smile

The 4th of July wasn't a day to celebrate—hadn't and shouldn't been one anyway—it was a reminder of death and who you have lost.

Rain was something calming, the pitter patter of it—how it taps with a force against the windows and the roof, leaving tactful rhythm behind—and yet at the same time, the rain itself was a cry from the sky above. Crying out and mourning their loss.

Jon jerked awake from his nap, a nap which shouldn't he have done, when the first chorus of thunder strikes through the sky. Rubbing his eyes he took a glance at the greenish numbers of the DVD-Player; 01:30 AM, past midnight already.

Getting up from the couch, Jon strutted into the kitchen, thanking his dads for always leaving small lights on everywhere in the house—darkness wasn't his favourite, even with his superpowers he hated the dark and what was lurking inside the shadows. There was a time, when he was still in Kindergarten, were he has giving his parents—his papa especially—a hard time during both day and night.

A cup of either Chocolate milk or Tea sounded nice, maybe a few cookies with it. Filling the cup with milk, Jon was about to put 3 spoons of the choco-powder in it, but stopped and dropped the spoon—spilling the powder everywhere.

Jon had gotten spooked by his own papa, who sat there outside on the grass in the rain. Jon had to take a double look on the digital watch above the kitchen table, before running towards his dad office. It wasn't the time, it was the current date.

~~~

Jon wrung his hands into his pyjama shirt, getting nervous within the passing seconds and the downpour of the rain, which echoed through the walls off the house, wasn't helping with it.

Jon felt always incredible nerve wracking nervous, whenever he stood in front of his dad office or even had to go inside. It wasn't because of his dad, never. It just was the office itself and Jon never liked it to bother his dad when he was working. Though now he had to and so, without knocking—dad wouldn't hear it anyways, not when he is listening to music—and taking a deep breath, he open the door and stepped inside.

Jon pulled at his dad headphones, giving Clark a scare in the process.

«Papa is sitting outside in the rain and we already have the 5th of July today and you totally missed dinner last night and you didn't do the laundry and also, I think we forgot to bake cake and visit grave yesterday and flowers we didn't buy either and papa is sad, like really sad and and—»

Flabbergasted, Clark needs a moment to process his sons rambling. A bad habit Jon has gotten from him. Though he only needed to hear 5th of July to know whats going on.

Ruffling his sons hair, bringing a stop to the rambling, Clark smiled down at Jon.

«How about you sleep with us tonight? And I'll go and get Papa» said Clark, taking Jons hand and guiding him out of the office and towards their bedroom, before making his way towards the garden.

~~~

Clark ventured through the house and outside into the garden. Ignoring the howling wind and face slapping rain, which soaks him instantly. Only focusing on his husband, only having his focus on you.

Wordless he picks you up, for him—with his super strength—you were are lightweight. Carrying you back inside, debating for a second if Clark should put you onto the couch, but deciding against it and walking up the stairs into the bathroom. Sitting you down onto bench.

The wave of silence, a tense one, still lingers in the room as Clark drys you off—taking off all your clothes, getting a new set of comfortable nightwear from the bedroom—and redressing you and himself.

«You shouldn't sit in the rain so late, love,» said Clark, airy chuckling leaving his lips. Wanting to try and lift the mood just a bit. So Clark, just like his Son before, starts to ramble about his newest report he is writing.

«You forgot.»

Clarks stopped with his talking, upon hearing your voice—which sounded drily hoarse—and how you said it, with such harshly monotony and in a matter of fact tone. He didn't replied right away.

«You forgot.» you repeated, face turning into a frown. Anger showing through your narrowing glare.

«I didn't.» Clark licked over his lips, feeling a dryness over them as he answers you firmly without hesitation in his words.

But that was a lie and the both of you knew this. Clark did forget, he did. Too immersed with his work to take notice of everything else around him.

«Yes, yes you fucking did. Yesterday, 4th of July, was our son death-day and you forgot about! We didn't even visit the graves, because you forgot about it!» your voice rose an octave higher within the last sentences. Anger now clearly prominent in your feature.

You didn't want to have an argument, even when they are sometimes unavoidable, to erupt into a shouting with Clark—had enough of those with Bruce back then, when the both of you were once married. Hateful and nasty they were—but Clark knew how important this was.

Guilt gnawed at Clarks soft felt heart, weighting it down with heaviness. He knew how important the 4th of July was for you, what that day means to you, knew the past and present connected to it.

Not only have you lost Conner—his death still recent, even when one year has passed already—on this day, but Jason as well—who you had lost years ago, when you were still married with Bruce—and who was also your son, part of a family, your family.

A once fondest happiness in your life and now a memory you held dear.

You still grieved hard over Jason death and with Conners death now, you had pressure on you which would lead to collapse soon.

Clark sighed, taking your hands and pulls you up. Engulfing you into his strong arms, which emits a instant suction of protectiveness, into a loving hug.

«I know that I forgot about it and I'm sorry love.» he mumbles into your ear, leaving gentle kisses all over your face. Picking you up, he carries you into the bedroom.

~~~

When Clark enters the bedroom with you in his arms, he saw that Jon was still wide awake, giving them a worried glance.

Clark gave his youngest a tiny weariness smile. Laying you down into the middle of the bed, Jon goes straight into your arms as Clarks lays himself down behind you. Hugging both, you and Jon to him.

«Do you want to visit the graveyard tomorrow, I mean today?» asked Clark and when you weakly nodded, he kissed the top of your head. Humming some song, while Jon sleepily rambles about some cartoons till he falls into dreamland

Say, if I only could, I'd make a deal with God.

And I'd get him to swap our places

[arjengelly]

If Demon Slayer can reincarnate people, then so can we!!! 🥹

When Deku and Kacchan are in their 60s-80s, they run into some familiar faces.

Not everyone is reborn exactly (Touya & Sako didn’t die yet here). Also the reincarnated don’t have any memories of their past lives.

I wasn’t sure on the color scheme of everyone yet. 😅

Jin & Toga are reborn as siblings. Genji and Haruka. Genji can change people’s appearances & make them look identical to other people but if damaged it can melt off like Twice’s clones. Haruka can change people’s blood type depending on her mood.

Yoichi and Kudo are dating. They go by Yoite & Juuzou and are in Kotetsu’s business class.

Bruce works in UA as a very essential maintenance worker/sub. His name is Wayne. He usually tries to avoid Yoite & Juuzou.

Yagi and his mom get a second chance at life. The boy is now called Haji.

Spinner dies in his 60s but is reborn as his youngest grandchild, Iggy. Iggy is part of a rich family b/c of Spinner’s books.

Hana and Tenko are siblings again. Kana is about 7yrs older than Hibiki. Kana is Kotetsu’s girlfriend and can slap things into floating away.

Hibiki is best friends with Iggy and is always texting him or playing online together. The siblings get to go on family trips with the Iguchis.

Shirakumo is reincarnated as the grandson of Moe & Rumi. He’s rivals with Kotetsu b/c both want to be class rep. He spins into a flaming wheel almost reminiscent of Sonic the Hedgehog.

Shinomori, Banjo and En are a family. Shino, Dante and Enzo. Enzo is also in Ko’s class. His dads are Deku fanboys. Enzo and Kana mock Juuzou for being the only Dynamight fan of their group.

Kotetsu is the spitting image of Touya but it’s just the Himura genetics. He’s the son of Geten & Malu (making them old parents and he’s Star & Bumi’s younger brother). He’s initially thought as quirkless until his nephew Ichigo accidentally put him in a life threatening situation. Ko can freeze metal to the point it shatters into small pieces as soft/lightweight as snowflakes. (Ko himself is still oblivious to this).

Magne is reborn as Sato’s granddaughter, Maggie. She has a crush on Ko (he helps out in Nejire’s daycare center when Kana can’t). Maggie can emit a repulsing force that pushes people away certain distances depending on what she eats.

Mr. Compress and Ragdoll had a grandson that kinda looks like him. The kids just refer to him as Sako. He is quiet and stares off into space. His quirk makes things you’re looking for disappear (can be invisible in front of you or in a diff location).

This family is everywhere! The two blondes are Ichigo and Kira. They’re cousins and first years at UA while their uncle Kotetsu and his friends are on their last year there.

Kira’s uncle (Yao Kaminari’s lil bro) is Bumi’s sidekick Doc Hack. Kira interns for them while Ichigo acts as an anti hero at Villains for Hire, an agency run by Giran’s grandson, Bumi’s ex, Wyatt Okuta/Riot. Ichigo does this to mess with his mom (Spitfire/ Bumi). The entire family believes Ichigo to be quirk-less (except Kira who’s in on his secret). Ichigo’s alter-ego is Fennec and his quirk is flame whips.

Sorry for the bits and pieces of a long @$$ story…. I just don’t wanna forget them. 🥲

[batbusiness-schooldropout]

The Conclusion

Part7

Barry: Hey Spooky, what you doing? I've been trying to get a hold of you for 20 minutes.

Bruce: Cobblepot out of Blackgate. Purim truce. Be quieter.

Barry: I'm going to pretend that makes sense. You need to get your kids

Bruce: No.

Barry: You don't understand! Red Hood has been shooting Green Arrow all day!

Bruce: Is he still alive?

Barry: Well yeah he's been using a beebee gun.

Bruce: Looks like those self-help books are working

Barry: Blondie and the new guy have been harassing Question

The Man Himself: You should let your kids come here more often. It was fun pretending to be crazy.

Barry:......Black Bat is trying to kidnap Captain Marvel

Bruce: Remind her that she can't adopt brothers, and she promised not to adopt kids until she's 21.

Barry: And Red Robin has been getting into fights with GL!

Bruce: As long as he isn't committing war crimes or antagonizing terrorists, he's fine. What about Nightwing and Robin?

Barry: What?

Bruce: If 5 of them are up there, the other 2 are most likely there too. You should probably find them.

Dick: Glad to see you survived Ozzy's Purim get-together B. Should I gather everyone up and come back home?

Bruce: Where's Robin?

Diana: He's been sparring with me. His footwork is excellent as always, and his feints have improved immensely! Although he's almost a teenager and if he is going to be as tall as his father, he will need to learn to not rely on his small size soon

Bruce: Thank you. I'll be sure to adjust his training. Anything else you feel like complaining about Flash?

Barry: What the actual hell is going on!?

Diana: Despite how he acts at social events, Bruce Wayne is actually a lightweight and only drinks on holidays

Dick: You think he's grumpy normally? You'll have an easier time getting an elephant in a dress than getting him out of bed today

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Lily of the Valley

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: Jason Todd dies and comes back to life. As the League takes him in, he navigates his morality and family values over the years.

Chapters: 21/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Talia al Ghul, Ra’s al Ghul, Damian Wayne, Barbara Gordon, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Sheila Haywood

Relationships: Jason Todd/Original Character(s)

Additional Tags: Immortal Jason Todd, League of Assassins Jason Todd, Protective Talia al Ghul, Good Parent Talia al Ghul, Jason Todd Needs a Hug, Good Sibling Jason Todd, Hurt/Comfort, Adopted Children, Resurrected Jason Todd

Chapter Twenty-One: Moonflower

Saru joined them for dinner, sitting beside Jason at the dinner table, silently enjoying the warmth of the occasion. Damian folded his hands after he finished eating. Damian wiped his hands and grabbed his gift, handing it to Jason. Jason set his fork aside and wiped his mouth before kissing Damian atop his head. “You didn’t have to get me a gift,” Jason smiled. 

Jason opened the palm-sized box to reveal a pocket watch. It was heavy, decorated with flowers carved in dark silver. It wasn’t a gift between two children. No. It was a gift between brothers. It was a gift given with a particular amount of elegance and sentiment. Jason opened the pocket watch and ran his fingers over the engraving. “ To Gēgē with love. -Didi.” Jason pinned the clip to his pocket. 

“Damian,” Jason whispered. He pulled Damian onto his knee and showered his brother in kisses. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

Damian pretended he didn’t love every second of it. “I’m not a baby,” Damian whispered. 

Jason nodded. “You’re right… But you are my baby brother,” Jason smiled. 

“Do you like it?” Damian asked. 

“It’s beautiful, Di,” Jason replied. Saru nodded in agreeance. Damian smiled.

Jason finished eating while he held Damian, and Saru looked at Talia for permission to give Jason his next gift. Talia nodded. Saru touched Jason’s arm. The box was neatly wrapped with a velvet ribbon, and the weight of the box was evenly distributed. Jason held eye contact with Saru as he carefully unwrapped the box. “I had them recreated in the image of the one in your book,” Saru explained. Jason opened the box and removed the lightweight dagger. The hilt was decorated with emeralds and rubies, encased in a red velvet and gold scabbard. “I know it’s not the—.” Jason smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners, rendering Saru speechless. 

“Thank you, Saru. I’ll take it with me everywhere I go,” Jason whispered, “And I’ll think of you.” 

Damian looked at Talia and Ra’s. “Do you mind if I go next?” Talia questioned. Ra’s smiled, gesturing for Talia to go on. Talia kissed his forehead as she gave him a hand-wrapped gift. Jason thanked her and unwrapped his gift to reveal a handbound and painted travel journal. Its linen cloth binding was the canvas for a painting of the garden. Jason’s favorite place on the island. He smiled, opening the pages to realize it was a journal. “You read so many stories… And I know you have stories of your own.” 

“Thank you, Mama. I’ll have to think of something spectacular to write about,” Jason grinned. Ra’s stood up and kissed the top of Jason’s head. “I’ll see you after dinner,” Ra’s whispered. Jason nodded. Everyone stared as Ra’s left them alone in the room. Everyone looked puzzled as Jason quietly resumed his meal. He quickly ate, but not fast enough to seem desperate. 

“Thank you all for tonight,” Jason whispered. He let Damian sit in his seat after he left, and Jason crept down the hallway until he reached Ra’s room. Ra’s answered before Jason knocked. 

“Come in. I won’t keep you long,” Ra’s reassured him. Jason obeyed. Ra’s gave Jason the dossier he retrieved from his grandmother. 

“Did I do something—?” 

“This is yours. It’s everything you need to know about your family in Gotham… Including the current location of your birth mother,” Ra’s explained.

“I thought you couldn’t bring her—.” 

Ra’s raised a hand. “Catherine merely adopted you after marrying your father… Your mother’s name is Sheila Haywood. She’s alive,” Ra’s interrupted. Jason tensed. “If you choose to see her, I’ll offer you every resource to find her. If … If that’s what you want.” 

Jason wrung his hands, frowning as he meditated on the thought of his biological mother being alive. “You—. Do you not want me anymore?” Jason questioned. “You’re an al Ghul. This is your home no matter what you decide to do from here on out. There are no consequences for your choice,” Ra’s replied, “You will always have a home here.” 

Jason swallowed hard. 

“I can’t—. Will you wait until I’m gone before you tell Mama?” I asked. Ra’s nodded. “I will return… I’m not sure when, but I promise you. I give my word.” Ra’s smiled. 

“I believe you,” Ra’s replied, “Would you like anyone to accompany you?” 

“No. I should do this alone. I’ll leave quietly tomorrow night. Thank you for this. Thank you,” Jason smiled, but his chest was tight and his eyes filled up with tears. Ra’s let him leave, and he ran into Saru in the hallway. 

“Hi,” Saru smiled. 

“Saru, would you like to take a walk with me in the garden?” Jason asked. Saru took his hand and followed him. Jason led her to his favorite tree and sat beside her. 

“Something’s wrong. Is it your gift? I—.” Jason held her hand to his heart. 

“I’m going away for a while. I can’t tell you when I’ll return, but I can’t—. You can’t tell my mother. Okay?” Jason asked. Saru sighed, smiling as she nodded. “And your gift was perfect. I’m telling you because you can’t follow me… I’m telling you because I know you don’t like it when people disappear.” Saru kissed his cheek. 

“Thank you for being thoughtful,” Saru whispered. Jason smiled at her. “What?” 

“Could I—?” Saru nodded, leaning in for a kiss. Saru cradled his face in her hands. Jason pulled away and laughed. 

“I love you,” Saru blurted out before chewing her lip. “I mean—.”

“I love you, Saru,” Jason grinned. Saru playfully pushed his face away. 

“Let me braid your hair. I want you to look beautiful when you leave,” Saru whispered. Jason nodded.

“Tomorrow. It’s late, and I should spend time with Damian tonight. He’s leaving too,” Jason replied. Saru sighed and kissed his cheek. 

“Alright… Tomorrow morning?” she questioned. 

“Tomorrow morning,” Jason replied as he escorted her inside, “Goodnight.” 

Jason showered and changed into his pajamas before knocking on Damian’s bedroom door. “Di, are you in here?” Jason asked. Damian opened the door and rubbed his eyes. “Did I wake you?” 

Damian nodded, grabbing Jason’s hand and leading him to bed. “Gé, don’t be sad,” Damian whispered. They sat down on Damian’s bed. 

“I don’t know how not to be sad… I’m sorry. Didi, I want you to be careful out there. Okay?” Jason whispered. Damian looked Jason in the eye. 

“After this trip, I’ll be like you—.” Something inside of Jason broke. He stood Damian up and pushed a finger to his chest. 

“Promise me you won’t be like me. Promise me you’ll be smarter than me and more careful and—.” Damian frowned. “I don’t break… But you—. You have to be better than me because you don’t have the same advantages. Promise me you’ll be more careful.” 

Damian stared at Jason. “You worry more than Mama,” Damian whispered before wrapping his arms around Jason’s neck. “I’ll be careful… And Gē? Can you tell me about how we met?” 

Jason relaxed. Jason let Damian lay down as he lay propped up on one elbow beside his younger brother. “I was twelve… And I don’t remember much about that night, but I remember feeling frightened. I didn’t know my way around, so I must’ve wandered the halls for a while before I saw you. I was crying, but you weren’t. You stared at me with your thumb in your mouth, and Mama didn’t see it, but you—. You waved at me. My hands were wrapped up, so I couldn’t use them. I slept in here with you that night. You fed me grapes for breakfast and told me your name. 

“To you, we were always brothers…. And that’s why I cherish you the way I do. I’ve never had a brother before I met you,” Jason whispered. He stopped to look at Damian as he lay fast asleep with tiny arms outstretched. “No one will ever change that, Damian.”

[bitter-hibiscus]

Rating: Teens and Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: M/M, Gen

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and The Outlaws (Comics)

Relationships: Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Kon-El | Conner Kent & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Kon-El | Conner Kent, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, (it can be read both ways), past Roy Harper/Jason Todd

Characters: Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Kon-El | Conner Kent

Additional Tags: Birthday, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, he doesnt quite get one but its close, Gift Giving, Good Sibling Tim Drake, Good Friend Kon-El | Conner Kent, not to jason though just to tim, Grief/Mourning, Drinking, Underage Drinking, (not described in detail), Clubbing, Conner is Tim's personal airplane, and now Jason's too, Kon-El | Conner Kent Hates Jason Todd, roy harper is dead, Post-Heroes in Crisis (DCU), Sad Jason Todd, Bad Parent Bruce Wayne, Rated T For Jason Todd, and also for the drinking, Tim's ugly duffel bag

Summary:

Jason knows he’s alone, is the point. It’s fucking why he’s drinking himself half to death in this Devil’s asshole bar, and he’s planning on giving the fucker a hefty tip, so he’s not sure why the dude’s complaining.

Jason is halfway through his fourth glass of beer — and drunk as a homeless man on Christmas Eve because he’s always been a goddamn lightweight. Artemis used to make fun of him for it when they went out for drinks and fuck now he’s thinking about her— when the door to the bar opens to reveal… Motherfucking Tim Drake?

And is that Superboy?

Or, Jason has been exiled from Gotham, all his friends are either dead or missing, and he's falling back into old drinking habits. Naturally, he's entirely prepared to spend his birthday alone. Tim Drake has something to say about it.

[batmannotes]

McFarlane Toys - DC Super Powers Batman with Batwing and Whirlybat, 3pk, Gold Label, Amazon Exclusive

Description

BATMAN: As a child, Bruce Wayne™ watched as his parents were brutally killed in Gotham City™'s Crime Alley. Traumatized by their deaths, he devoted his life to becoming the world's greatest weapon against crime-the Batman™ ! BATWING: Batman™ soars overhead in the supersonic Batwing™ in search of villainy and injustice! WHIRLYBAT: When villainy is a foot, Batman and Robin™ take to the skies with the Whirlybat™. Lightweight and remarkably agile, this single-seat helicopter is the perfect pursuit vehicle for maneuvering through the tightly-packed skyscrapers of Gotham City.

Preorder at Amazon.

[cantsayidont]

January 2011. This droll one-shot by Howard Chaykin pits Batman and Catwoman against one of Batman's sillier adversaries — Mortimer Drake, the Cavalier, who dresses like one of the Three Musketeers — as Bruce Wayne deals with the fallout from a massive embezzlement at Wayne Enterprises that will soon have investigators taking a very close look at where all of Bruce's money has actually been going. Selina has a solution, but it will test just how much crime Bruce is comfortable with. Chaykin's take on Bruce and Selina's relationship has always been that they're both moderately deranged kinky weirdos who are drawn together because they share the same kinks, although Selina is more honest about admitting it. Their principal conflict in this story involves her trying to maneuver around his relentless stubbornness while attempting (none too successfully) to resist the overwhelming urge to make fun of him about it. It's a lightweight romp, a rare quantity in modern Batman stories, and Chaykin's art is a plus, despite the unnecessarily garish digital coloring.

Coincidentally, the problem this story raises (that competent forensic accountants could connect Bruce to Batman by looking closely at the Wayne Enterprises books) was actually addressed in a completely different way around this same time in the final issue of Grant Morrison's BATMAN AND ROBIN, where Bruce publicly reveals that he's been funding Batman's operations for years (without admitting that he himself is Batman) and launches Batman Incorporated.

[vigilvntes]

2. adrian chase, bruce wayne, and homelander :)

(also so glad you are back on here i get so excited to see your name)

PLS ILY!!! also this is a hard one wtf i'm. i am???? hm. okay.

FIST FIGHT homelander. because if it's just FISTS, like he's completely stripped of all of his powers and it's literally just us two fighting it out, i think i'd win. like let's be fr there's padding in the suit, he's never had the NEED to gain muscle mass because being naturally strong just comes with the power he has. so take all of that away, make liz vs homelander happen... i'm clearing, sorry. (and if he still has his powers then i fear i'm fucked because bro wouldn't even fist fight me he'd just laser me)

GET DRUNK WITH adrian. just because i think it'd be fun. like yeah let's fuck shit up idk. nothing illegal but i am not immune to a little bit of drunken shenanigans and neither is he (although i can imagine drunk adrian realising he's accidentally done something illegal and he's like "oh man, now i gotta kill myself" and you're like "yeah– wait what the fuck"). plus i think he'd be a very funny drunk. probably a major lightweight, but we can make it work

SHARE AN APARTMENT with bruce wayne. if he wants to spend his nights running around dressed like a bat and not getting back until the early morning??? go for it! i won't judge! sleep pattern?? never heard of her. biological clock??? non-existent. plus he has money so i think it'd be a nice apartment, like we'd have nice furniture and he'd also buy nice food for neither of us to eat because we Forget that's a thing we need to do sometimes

[storecowboys]

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[martyrbat]

detective comics #368

[ID: Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne attending the Architectural Fair, where the exhibit ‘Gotham City: Yesterday, Today — And Tomorrow’ is being held. Dick is being a bit of a dick and is unimpressed. He tells Bruce, “I know what these former and present-day houses are like, Bruce! I'd like to see the House Of The Future everybody's talking about!” Bruce excitedly responds, “It's made from a special new lightweight material, stronger than steel!” They walk to a replica of the Wayne Manor! Dick gasps, “Why — there's Wayne Manor! Makes me feel right at home!” Bruce smiles as he admits, “I knew it had been selected for duplication in the exhibit, but I kept it as a surprise for you, Dick!”

Moments later, they walk into the lifesize display of ‘the house of the future’. Dick awes at the features! “Wow! Special panels to show the latest news stories! An inbuilt television set to focus anywhere in the world you want to pick up a channel! Buttons to start food cooking, to clean rooms automatically �� but... But... There isn't a single lamp or light bulb anywhere in the room! They forgot to put in the lights!” Bruce responds, “No, they didn't, Dick! Just press that button control on the wall!” Dick does as he's told which causes the walls to start to glow! Dick is amazed at this discovery! “Terrific! No light bulbs to change, nothing to short-circuit, no fuses to blow out!” Bruce tells him it's called ambient luminescence! END ID]