#kids are stupid

[superfuxkinghungry]

Why put a living breathing being into a world full of torture, racism, physical pain, mental illness, mental pain, disabilities, danger, murder, restrictions, and hate rather than just let your little children rest in a no pain feeling no thirst or hunger feeling forever state of unconsciousness? Sounds soooo much better than making those cute little babes suffer inflation, climate change, societal norm, and other nasty stuff 🥺🤢

[everythingilearned]

[somethingsomethingdgronpa]

When I was at the age where I watched Numberblocks way too often, I remembered lowering the volume on episodes 9 sneezed so my parents wouldn’t think I sneezed get concerned about my health.

I did not get the concept of my parents being able to differentiate between my voice (as I was a little girl back then) and a male cartoon character’s.

Past me was an idiot.

[priapussdick]

jiang tian is better than me because i would've ran over sheng wang

[dnschmidt]

Hot Plates

I was at a Mexican restaurant with some friends. The waiter brings our food, and warns everyone that the plates are very, very hot. So, of course, the first thing I do is touch my plate.

I burn my thumb on the hot plate, and my automatic reaction is to stick it in my mouth so it will stop hurting. Just then, a little kid sitting at a nearby table points at me and screams, "He sucks his thumb! Look! He sucks his thumb! Look! Look!"

Everyone in the restaurant turns to stare at me, and I try to vanish behind my menu.

And my wife wonders why I hate kids.

[thatuselesshuman]

So, today I saw a few videos on the devil site known as tiktok that really pissed me off (and I'm going to yap about it).

Apparently, over on Gen Alpha tiktok (Gen Alpha is those born in 2010-now for those wondering) there's a trend going around that's literally making 2020 an aesthetic. Like, under a video where it was like "Pov: your morning routine in 2020", I saw so many comments like "I wish I was a teenager during 2020 😭". And it may just be me but that BAFFLES me. Ignoring the fact that the video was literally just a collection of tiktok trends from 2020, the comments piss me off.

When the pandemic hit, I was in High school. We were let out for an early spring break, and we all thought that we'd be back soon. Little did we know, we'd be forced to stay inside for the next 6 months because if we went outside, we may catch a disease that could kill us. That pandemic changed so many things for me (and I know I'm not alone in that), that it's so insane that it's now being romanticized. My dad went to the hospital when he caught covid (thank God it was later in the pandemic, so they had some treatments), I lost some pivotal teenage years to the pandemic, and I had a whole ass identity crisis. I am permanently different because I only had human contact with my family for half a year. Because of circumstances outside of my control, I didn't have a proper phone during 2020 (I couldn't call or text), so I was effectively cut off from my friends. I had the pandemic a lot easier than some, but I think it's fucking stupid that kids now are saying that they wished they went through that.

[sirshakespear]

So I’m dressed as a cute, kid friendly clown for a volunteer event since it’s close to Halloween. For some reason these kids who were in the same building, but not in the same event, called me a furry. Not sure where that came from since the only thing on my face was SHAPES but yk 🤷‍♀️. I kinda wanna know what animal they thought i was now! The closest thing i can think of is Rudolph, because of the RED DOT 🔴 on my nose for the CLOWN.

[boredom-texts]

you know pink actually isn't so bad as i thought as a kid

[dwarfbunniesrule]

I was a little kid the first time I watched Princess Bride and while I loved it I also remember being super confused because I had misread the title as “the princess’s bride” so I spent most of the run time waiting for

A. Westly to reveal he was a princess

B. Another princess to show up and woo Buttercup

C. A whole new set of princesses showing up and saving the day

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

[fuckedupselfshippingmess]

Don't touch minors. That's the entire post. Goodbye.

[veterancoffeemaker]

Dad: Well, me and your mother wear glasses, so you can thank genetics for why you need them too.

Me: …

(Flashes back to childhood)

Kid Me: Hmm, I wonder how long I can stare directly at the sun… time to find out!

Present Me: … y-yeah, sure, genetics…

[arwenkenobi48]

When I was a young kid, I used to think ‘century’ was just a grown up word for year, so when I heard the line “You’re living in the past, this is the 14th century” in Disney’s Sleeping Beauty, I assumed it was the year 14 as opposed to the 1300s. I used to think “wow, if I was born in 2000, I was born in the 2000th century!”, then I learned the true meaning of the word in school when someone said we’re in the 21st century and felt my entire concept of time and space crumble around me.

The most embarrassing part about all this? I was 9. Goddamn. Years. Old.

[spaghetticat3899]

Thinking about that one time when I was pretty small (no clue what age, to be honest), and I was asked what animal I thought Sonic was by my sister (not knowing the franchise was Sonic the hedgehog), and I came to the absolutely flawless conclusion that since his ears were pointy, he was a cat.

Child me was not the brightest creature to grace the planet.

[monkeyroseone]

You wanna know how I found out there was a world border in Minecraft a couple years ago?

This was before I knew about the world border bcs I never went that far

My little brother and I were playing split screen on the 360 and I got lost

So my grand plan was "there's an ocean right here and the earth is a sphere! If I go one direction long enough I'll find out base!"

...

Needless to say, I sat there at the world edge in my boat for over 30 minutes before I turned around and realized that there's a border and I wasn't making any progress

This was at the world border corner btw and beyond the border looked like more water

So you can see my confusion

[wizardsaremomstoo]

Peter: *Licks a Variety of Inedible Objects in the Sanctum for no Reason*

Stephen, knowing how dangerous the Sanctum air is: